Nicole, the aliens are here, and once they’re done probing us and stealing all our technology and draining the Mediterranean Sea, see if it’s water, they’re gonna work up a hunger. Nicole, once the aliens are worked up the hunger, they’re gonna need someone to feed them. Wait, why don’t we just take ’em to like, Marie Callender’s or something? Well, is it strawberry pie season? Yeah. Oh, hell yeah. This is A Hot Dog Is A Sandwich. Ketchup is a smoothie. Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what? That makes no sense. A Hot Dog Is A Sandwich. A Hot Dog Is A Sandwich. What? Welcome to our podcast A Hot Dog Is A Sandwich. The show we break down the world’s biggest food debates. I’m your host Josh Scherer. And I’m your host Nicole Enayati. And today we are debating what is the best Marie Callender’s Frozen pie. Mississippi mudslide or is it the silk pie? Chocolate silk pie? The chocolate silk pie from Marie Callender’s. No, we are warning you of the impending alien invasion. This is not new news. New news, shout out to Jason Kelsey, front of the show. It’s from his podcast. But somebody once posed us the question, when the aliens finally land on earth, what is the first food that you would feed them? Now, people probably posed this about a year ago, and we were like, this could be a whole podcast episode, but it is simply too stupid. We need to wait for people to get stupid enough to catch up with how stupid we are. And Nicole, that time has finally come because of one man named David Grush. David Grush. Tell ’em about David Grush. What do you know about him? He has an interesting face. He has a trusting face, but behind the eyes. Yeah, yeah. It gives me pause. No, for sure. He, to me looks like somebody who would be telling me that aliens are here. But not like the ancient aliens guy, that’s like. Aliens. Aliens man. Aliens. Not that guy but he looks exactly like a person testifying in front of Congress saying that aliens are here. Well, he didn’t say aliens. He didn’t say aliens. He said non-human biologics. UFOs are called UAPs now. Which I interpreted as two dogs going on a joy ride. And they were like, you know like in like Dukes of Hazard, I’m going somewhere with this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How like it goes in the air. Sure, sure, sure. And like for a moment, that car is an unidentified flying object. That’s a good point. So I think he just found the Dukes of Hazards car, with like two doggies in it. Did it still have the confederate flag on it? Oh, did it have a confederate flag? Yeah, the Dukes of Hazard car. It was called the General Lee and it had the confederate flag on the top. They like didn’t take it off the merch until like way later. Is that true? You’re saying the racist dogs, they’re flying this car through the air. David Grush sees it, goes testifies in front of Congress. That’s the only logical point. That’s the only thing that I can think of. I saw a tweet yesterday that was like an RIP. It was some year anniversary of a monkey, the Russians. The Ikea monkey? No, it’s like a monkey that the Russians sent into space. Aw. They sent like two monkeys into space. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And one monkey successfully returned, Maggie, look this up, look up monkey into space. One of the monkeys successfully returned and another monkey just floated out into space. And it was like RIP that monkey. Oh. Because that monkey’s a non-human biologic in a you know. So do you think that’s the non-human biologic that was in the UFO? No, I think, listen, 2004 had like a big bombshell report. They called it the Tic-Tac-Toe incident. I don’t know about the Tic-Tac-Toe incident. I think it was fighter pilots in San Diego maybe, who claimed they saw non-identified aircraft. Okay, okay. And there was video of it, but it was just a dot flying around. Okay. You know what I mean? Sure. I’m not a personal believer in aliens. I don’t believe they’ve ever made contact. I don’t think there’s a big government conspiracy that they’re keeping them from us. I think other life exists in the universe and I think it’s mathematically completely impossible that we will ever make contact with them. Have you seen Prometheus? Yes, I’ve seen Prometheus. That movie rocks. That movie rocks, I love alien movies. I read so much sci-fi, Tic Tac, not Tic-Tac-Toe. Did I call it the Tic-Tac-Toe incident? You did. Oh my God, the Tic Tac incident, whatever. I love stories about aliens. I read a lot of Vonnegut, The Book of Strange New Things. One of my favorite books of all time. It’s about aliens, you know what I mean? But I don’t personally believe that we’ll ever make contact. I think it’s pretty impossible. I totally think we’re gonna talk to aliens. Well do you believe that there are aliens currently here? Sorry, not aliens, non-human biologics. We know what you’re implying. Right now, like on earth surface? Yes. Yeah. No way. I think they’ve been here since like, I don’t know, like the 19, like 11. Yeah, since 1911. Oddly specific year. You know like how long it takes to travel from any possibly habitable. Speed of light. Yeah. Speed of light. And those are like so many light years anyways. Neither here nor there. Listen, I know he is testifying in front of Congress, but like, I think he’s just a kook. I think there’s just kooks out there who says things. But I also know the CIA just like plants conspiracy theories to get people to talk about and make other conspiracy theories and not seem true. It’s called co intel pro, look it up, but like. Can I just say? Yeah, please. Why didn’t the lady that was asking him questions, the congress lady, why didn’t she ask if they were dogs? If you let Nicole and I run this place, I swear to God, corruption would be finished. UFO’s, dogs would be flying in non-racist cars all across the streets of America., it would be rad. Subway would be free. If Josh and I were members of the Congress, it would be the most fun Congress ever. Yeah, we’re gonna launch a campaign right off the back of this podcast. We tried to do that with the Hot Dog is a Sandwich. Yeah, pretty failed campaign, if we’re being honest. But we learned a lot from that, we learned a lot. We made shirts, we made campaign shirts. We made campaign shirts, we sold some of those shirts. That was good. That was a good time. This is a food podcast ostensibly, right? Yeah, it is ostensibly. Use that term loosely. We’re now gonna talk about Nicole. Since the aliens are currently here on earth, according to David Grush. And me. And Nicole, except they’re dogs. What would be the food that you would serve them first to show them what, I was gonna say America is all about, but it’s the world but also, do you wanna see a fun map? I love maps. Do you wanna see a fun map? Maggie, of we could put this map up, that’d be super huge. Yeah, I’m so into maps. Hold on, I like… My brother’s really into maps. I closed out the map. My brother used to collect maps, atlases, and he would like draw like roads that like weren’t found yet in maps. He rocks. Hey Sal. So, this is a map of reported UFO sightings around the world by country. As you can see, they’re like all in America and a little bit in Great Britain, and then none elsewhere. I don’t know the exact methodology that this map was going for, but UFO sightings are a very uniquely American thing because we’re paranoid and obsessed with them. And also we have digested so much movies and media and culture about aliens. So if aliens do land, it’s gonna be in America because we’re the only one that thinks about them. It’s like Santa Claus, he’s powered by Christmas cheer. Aliens are powered by our own belief in them. So if they land in America, Nicole? Yeah. What is the first food that you feed them? Let me answer your question with a question. I’d rather you answer it with an answer. My question was the question. No, hear me out, hear me out. Are there any food items that do not contain water, real question. That like have like 0% water in them. That’s a real question. I dunno like 0% 0%, but like freeze drying food, right, is a way of removing water from food very efficiently. Because in my mind, aside from the Prometheus, do you hear that? Dude, there’s just crickets in our podcast room. Whoa, that was crazy. Which is also our kitchen. It’s also, when we see something- It used to be our office too. You say something funny, crickets ’cause we’re not funny. Funny, funny, we’re not funny. Okay, like, so, I think that the aliens that are like Prometheus exist. But also have you ever seen Signs? The movie Signs? No, I haven’t. Oh, well, okay, well there’s a movie called Signs, and it’s not got- Yeah, M. Night Shyamalan, Mel Gibson. Puts a knifes knife underneath the door to see . Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I’ve seen it. And a spoiler. I haven’t seen it. Spoiler, spoiler. Can I tell you the spoiler? Spoil it, I’m not gonna watch it. Okay, the aliens are like, they die when we put water on them. So I think. That’s how the movie signs it. That’s the big M. Night Shyamalan reveal in Signs. Yeah, they come to a planet. It’s water. They come to a planet that’s all water and like water is what kills them. Oh no, never gonna watch Signs. That was M. Night Shyamalan, right? Am I making that up? I feel like Maggie, you can Google real quick. It was definitely Mel Gibson but I think they would eat something that is not water because I think their bodies are not able to digest water. What do you mean their bodies, who are they, the dogs? The non-human biologics. We know nothing about the non-human biologic that are here, that’s what makes it so tough. This is a thought exercise. No, I agree, I agree. But why are you assuming they couldn’t digest water? Because its Signs, because of the movie Signs. Here’s my thing about this question, okay. What’s that? Is that one, I do like this thought experiment and I think if we were to turn this, we will get to a point eventually where we’re talking. Yeah, just have fun, hold on, buckle up. I think the real thought experiment in this is almost like, what if there was somebody with amnesia and they had never had food, they never remembered food, right? It’s just like a wandering traveler. What would you feed them to be most representative of all the food on earth, what is the best way forward? But I do wanna talk about aliens more because- Okay, okay, yes, yes, yes. Cats can’t taste sugar, right? I don’t know. That’s like a thing. Cats don’t taste sweet. Aw. I think it’s sweet, yeah, I think cats can’t like register the taste of sugar. Okay, cute. ‘Cause they’re carnivores, right? So their bodies don’t run on like glucose, I suppose. Okay. I don’t know, is that true? If any of you knows, yeah, it cannot taste sugar. So a cat, which is like very similar to us in terms of DNA, it lives on earth, it’s a mammal, yada yada has fundamentally different taste buds than us. We have no idea what a cat experience is when it eats. We would’ve no idea what an alien experience is when it eats. We have no idea if they’re a version of eating. How they eat. Yeah, I mean plants, right? Fungi have huge neuro networks, all that photosynthesis. They’re absorbing . There’s some dudes that listen to Joe Rogan that absorb light through their bee hole and then that gives them testosterone. Sunning, sunning. They sun their tank. They do that, you know what I mean? But I think humans can’t normally do that. And so we just don’t know at all what these aliens do. But for the thought experiment of if there was somebody that had no knowledge of Earth and you wanted to feed them one thing when they got here, what would it be? I mean, what would your strategy be? KFC double down. You think that the KFC double down is the pinnacle of human achievement and food? I think so, I do. It’s discontinued, right? Did they bring it back? They brought it back temporarily. So they discontinued it. But it was such a cultural phenomenon that it literally like moved to other countries. Oh wow. And they started making like double down burgers because the double down was breaded or seasoned. Its breaded chicken. Chicken breasts. And then a cheese, and then another one. Cheese, bacon, some sort of special sauce. Another thing of breaded chicken, which almost makes it a chicken cord on blue, right. Cured pork, cheese. You know what I mean, chicken on the outside. But that moved to like Indonesia. They did like a double down burger with a beef patty shoved in between. Oh, that’s so smart. And the Philippines, check this out. Double down hotdog. Oh, so smart. Nobody loves hot dogs like the Philippines does. Shout out to the Purefoods hotdogs basketball team. There’s a basketball team called the Hotdog. I know. Yeah, okay, good. You told me about it. It’s my favorite thing. You talked about it on the podcast like four times. I wanna make a double down corn dog. Do whatever you want. Here’s the thing, you take like a chicken breast and you cut a hole in it and you shove a hot dog in the chicken breast, batter that, fry it, what’s to stop you from doing that? Stop me? Yeah. This is your dish. Well, why haven’t you done that? Are you gonna make for aliens? Why haven’t I done it ’cause I don’t need to do it. I don’t like corn dogs, remember? Well, we don’t know what the aliens like though. They might like corn dogs. Everybody likes KFC double downs. That’s a fair point, that’s a fair point, but, but. Lollipop. You got a cured pork products in there. You’re mixing meat, like what if. Oh, they’re kosher or halal? We dunno, the aliens could be Jewish. Or Muslim. Or Muslim. Or Christian. Zoroastrian. Buddhist. Bahá’ís. We just listed- Taoist. We don’t know what the aliens belief system is. I don’t think they have a belief system. I think they just exist. I think we should serve them. Wait, what do you mean they don’t have a belief system. Everything is a belief system. That’s not true. I think anything intelligent than us- Is atheism a belief system? No, but I think that like a scientist- If you are void of belief, does that mean you have belief? No, I think so, I think especially an atheist has more belief than an agnostic, right. Well, yeah. Because they believe in an omnipresent source. Sure. Which are aliens. Potentially. I think that anything intelligent enough to be able to travel here would’ve some sort of belief system in some sort of. Why would you assume? Because I think that to be able to collectivize, right, you’ve read Sapiens. I have them, but my dad has told me to read it for the past. He honestly WhatsApps me videos of, like snippets of Sapiens. I love that. Saying, “Read this Bubba, this is good book Bubba. Read it, watch it Bubba,” and I just don’t. I got really bored listening to the book on tape of Sapiens. I started listening to fantasy football podcasts again. But one of the things that allowed humans to collectivize to be able to work together, right. And that’s the essence of science, right? It’s working together. Yeah, it is, no, honestly, it’s being able to share data with each other and being able to plateau up once somebody invents something, right. Once somebody invented the wheel, suddenly anything else that control- Then bicycle. Bicycle, okay, that was like, several hundred thousand years after the wheel, but- Oh, yeah, you know what I mean? But once somebody invented the bicycle, then they could invent the car-ish. Can I tell you a quick aside? Josh, right now this is an aside of an aside of an aside, but yes. All right, so I was talking to a chef, right? And he was like, man, it’s crazy how back in the day, he was talking about a thousand year old cookbook. He’s like, man, they were able to cook like such complex dishes like taking peacocks and skinning them and feathering them and then stuffing the insides, then redecorating to look like a peacocks, all these. And I was like, yeah, man, like this kind of weird medieval but gilded age of food was really incredible. And he goes, yeah, but the thing I don’t understand is how could they create such complex dishes but they couldn’t invent a car. And I was like, I don’t think we’re gonna see eye to eye on this. The point is, Nicole, the car isn’t just a car, right. It’s literally a product of a million inventions. That’s true. Somebody had to invent a bolt to bolt the car together, right? Yeah, yeah. Oh my god, the combustion engine. That was like a miracle. Oh my gosh. That was a miracle, no more animal labor. Yeah, yeah, oh my god, a car, a wheel. That’s what I’m saying. The wheel, are you high? Just like a bowl of white rice. Are you high? Because I think like rice is the most eaten cereal grain. Maggie, can you look at most eaten cereal grains on the planet? So there’s a theory that Marilyn Monroe, right? What about her. Knew about the aliens. And that’s why they killed her. So the CIA killed her. I thought it was because she was hanging out with JFK. Yeah, and when they were hanging out, what do do you think they were doing? Talking about aliens, and that’s they marked her. KFC double downs. KFC. What’s up, rice, wheat and corn. Is that the number one though, is rice number one? I think what I would like to feed the aliens. Okay, let’s think about it. Well, the thing I would do first, if an alien came up to you and said, I’m hungry, what would I do? Yeah, in what language? They would just telepathically go. Gleep glop. And you’d be like, here’s a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. No, they would probably communicate in those circles. Like in that movie. The Heptapods, yeah. Yeah, what movie is that? Arrival. In Arrival, they would probably speak to me in circles, but I would see the circles in my brain ’cause they have telepathy. No, Amy Adams had to learn what the circles meant. Yeah, no, but they would just put the circles in my head and then I would know that meant like, I’m hungry. And then what would I feed them? So we’ve established that the aliens can draw circles in your head signifying they’re hungry. That’s an incredible start to this. But then you now, Nicole, have the task of feeding them. Yes, I do, I do. I don’t know, I mean, I think what I would do, have you ever seen those videos. In Korea, they sit a baby down and they have like a bunch of different options, so like, they put like a tennis racket and the baby will be super athletic. They put a stack of books, the baby will be super studious. I would do that with different foods and then be like the food groups. So I’d have like, I don’t know, like cheese and milk on one section. A big bowl of grapes and strawberries in another and then I would have steamed vegetables and then I would have rice and like barley or whatever, and then I would have meat, very scary if they choose meat. The meat’s just a test on whether they’re friend or foe. And then the meat and then what’s the other one, fats. I would just have like olive oil and a tub of lard. And then they would just sit there. I’d be like, okay, take a seat. And then they would pick whichever one they gravitate towards. That’s the only way I could see it happening in real life. I’d give gleep glop like a camel crush. And be like, this is how we rock in California, bro. You wanna go to Vance Warp tour? If an alien came up to me and said, bleep bloop and I understood that to mean a hunger. I feel like I would want to make that alien my best friend. You know what I’m saying? Yeah, yeah. Men in America are lonelier than ever. Yeah, I’ll be second place to support. This is happening. And I don’t know what necessarily culturally is happening. I think it’s part of it’s economic anxiety. I think it’s a lot with technology. A lot with technology and we’re more isolated than ever. More convenience, dating apps. Yeah, dating apps. I mean, we’re kind of like hypersexualized and completely desexualized and we don’t know how to form platonic friendships anymore. But in comes this alien in my life, Nicole, and suddenly I’m like, well, we can hang out, we can go bowling, you know what I mean? You’re gonna go bowling with the alien? Yeah. Will you feed it food from the bowling alley? Well, that’s what I’m saying because in this scenario, the first food I’m gonna feed it, it’s gonna be chicken tendees with honey mussy. See, KFC double down, they want chicken. I think they want chicken. Well, hold on dude, no, no, no, no. I think there’s a reason for this. KFC. I think there’s a reason for this. What? Fried chicken is one of the most universal foods on the planet. Totally. Every culture out there makes fried chicken. We did a whole podcast episode about the best fried chicken from around in the world. I think we can kill three birds with one stone. One, I get to show this alien how super sick I am at bowling, right? Two. Are you good at bowling? We are best friends. Now I’ll have to get good to bowling before we go do that. Good one. But then two, and it’s gonna be a dude because like dudes rock. Dudes rock. If like a female alien came up to me. You heard it here first. Yeah, dudes rock. Dudes rock. If it was a female alien, I’d be like, whoa, I’m engaged and then I’d be like, do you have a male friend that I can hang out with? We’d go bowling, we’d eat chicken. I could get to show him one of the world’s greatest foods and some honey mussy over at like Bolero in West LA. Love bowling, that’s right. Yeah, that’s where you’d take an alien bowling? That’s where I took my brother bowling. Yeah, Sal can come hang out with the alien too. We’ll chill, dude, we’ll create a little men’s group. I just think it’s so interesting that we assume that the alien would eat the same things we eat though. Like, matter, like the same matter. Sure, sure, sure, sure. Like what if the alien wants to chow down on a road? What if the alien just wants to go, to like, the side of the pyramid of Giza. Like who am I to stop the alien? No, that’s a fair point. Like, so say we’re at Bolero and eating chicken tendees with honey mussy. And we’re sucking down like a, I don’t know, like, what’s that one beer that I like? Einstök. Yuling, Yuling. Yingling Yingling. No, no, but we can’t get Yingling in California, the Einstök, the Icelandic White Ale. Oh yeah, okay. And like he just eats the bottle. Or like he’s eating the pins. We’re gonna get kicked out. We’re gonna get kicked out, alien is in there. If he’s not bothering anybody, you’re fine in Bolero, you can chill at the Bolero with an alien-. Yeah, like why do we assume that the alien would eat the same matter as us? Like we can’t just do that. Yeah. Yeah. What planet do you think this alien is visiting us from? Do you think it has water or do you think it’s a gaseous planet? Do you think it’s a rock planet? Yeah, probably a little bit of both. From what I know about planets, Nicole, is that a little bit of both. Just like a little Scotia beach. No, hold on, if I were to make an educated guess, I’d say a red dwarf planet. Red dwarf planet. A red dwarf planet is what I bet the aliens are coming from. Hey, Josh. A little bit of it. You’re talking gas versus rocks and water. I’d say like a . Hey Josh, I don’t know if you know this or not, but this is my favorite podcast we’ve ever done. This is like the best podcast we’ve ever done. This is the best podcast ever, we’ve talked about so much. Yeah, I think about a lot. Yeah. In a lot of movies, aliens are portrayed as roughly the same size as us. Yeah, I don’t think that’s true. That can’t be true, right? Do think they’re bigger or littler? Littler, they’re gonna be so small, which is gonna be such a problem when we go bowling. How am I supposed to tell him? I think they’re gonna tower over us. I think they’re gonna be like- Why? Why? I think they’re gonna be as tall as Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. Like that’s the shortest alien, the shortest alien. The shortest alien. Is Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. What’s the tallest alien? Manute Bol, Gheorghe Mureșa? Statue of Liberty. You’re saying there’s that big of a range. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar is a seven foot one, seven foot two inch man. Yeah. Up to the Statue of Liberty. Which Maggie, how tall is a Statue of Liberty? This is very important to me right now. Height, Statue of Liberty up to? Yes, 305 feet. So you’re saying humans have a variation from, let’s say like, you know, four feet tall- No, when they’re born? No, no, when they’re born. How small are humans or, like? Oh, you’re saying an infant. Yeah. I’m sorry, an infant of the species. Yes. They start out at seven feet. Yes. To Kareem Abdul-Jabbar up and then they get up to 300 feet. Yeah. That makes sense. Thank you. Check this out though. As technology advances. Yeah. We used to think when we were kids, do you remember going over to like a friend’s house and they had like a huge TV and you’re like, oh my God. 20 years in the future, TVs are gonna be like movie theaters in everybody’s house. And then what are the screens that everybody watches stuff on now? Little. Little. In my palm. So tiny. Like this. They’re so small, exactly. Just like this. Show the people how small that screen is. Have you seen one of these before? You ever seen anything like that? This used to be called a television and it was huge. And we thought that’s the direction it was going. What I’m saying is as technology advances, we get smaller and smaller. You know what I mean? I’m crying. Soon iPhones will be the size of a postage stamp. They got closest to the iPad Mini iPad. iPad Mini. iPad Mini. Yeah. You know what I mean? So I think the aliens are gonna be like, they’re gonna be lilliputian in stature. I know what the aliens are going to eat. What’s that? All of the waste, all of the tech waste that we’ve been making. Oh. I think that the aliens are gonna come, they’re gonna eat all of our trash and then the world will be solved of global warming. Yay! And then the Christians all go to Jerusalem and get raptured up and then the Jews stay. That’s what I think’s gonna happen. When you said, you know what the aliens are gonna eat and you start saying, all of, I thought you would say Olive Garden. I was like, oh yeah. Unlimited soup, salad and breadsticks. No, no, no, no, no. That’s a good option for aliens. They’re gonna eat all of our tech waste. And like, you know how like you see these like really sad videos of like the Ganges River and there’s like trash in it and stuff. I think the aliens are gonna come and go. But you think there’s something unique about trash that they want? How do they know it’s trash? Its not trash, listen. Oh, they’re coming here to help. Yeah, lemme tell you. They know we’re in trouble. One man’s trash is the aliens- Sure, sure, sure, I get that philosophically, but I’m wondering why they prefer to eat that and not the fresh materials. It’s because they understand that the humans no longer need it. Yeah, so these are like friendly God aliens. Yeah, I told you Prometheus aliens that are scared of water, like the aliens from Signs that speak to us in circles, telepathically, like in Arrival, keep up! I watched a movie once where they made friends with an alien and they drank a bunch of beer with it and they had a fun time. It was a Mark-Paul Gosselaar and it was called Beer Money. Maggie, can you google that movie real quick? Because then there’s another alien. Do you not think it’s a real movie? No, honestly, I might have hallucinated it. Yeah, you gotta do Beer Money movie and then a Mark-Paul Gosselaar. That’s right, that’s Mark-Paul Gosselaar. There it is. Wow. Yeah, 2001, fantastic movie, they find an alien. It’s kinda a spoof on ET but they drink beer with alien and they like smoke pot and they party. Oh, we didn’t talk about ET. Oh, I’ve never seen it. Did you know that ET likes Reese’s Pieces. That was paid ad placement from the Hershey’s Corporation, right? Was it really? Of course, dude, anytime you see any of that stuff that’s just paid, that’s product placement, that’s paid. But I don’t know, something about Reese’s Pieces sounds like that was just a creative choice. No, like they were definitely trying to market Reese’s Pieces at the time and then they paid to put that in the movie. Did they ever take Reese’s Pieces up to space? That’s a good question. That’s a thing I don’t know. Well, what do we know about space food? We did an episode about it. We freezed dried our own space bacon one. Yeah, we did, we made space bacon. Oh my God, dehydrated ice cream. We didn’t make that, but they used to sell it. Astronaut ice cream, I remember that. They used to sell it. Tastes pretty bad, tastes like stale cotton candy. I loved it as a kid. Yeah, I went to the… Can I tell you another thing? Of course. I hate space. Like you don’t wanna go to space ever? No, no, no. All the kids were like, I wanna be an astronaut. And I was like, why? What are you gonna find up there, yourself? Certainly not, anything different than down here, no. You know what I mean, and I don’t like learning about space. And, I think NASA was generally a mistake. Do I know anything about it, no, absolutely not. But don’t think we should be funding any sort of space exploration. I’m sorry, I love space. I would like to learn more about space. Well, you can come to Bolero and like hang out with me and bleep bloop. I mean I don’t wanna harsh your vibe on that. This is the best, this is the best. Normally it’s kinda like mostly dudes. What have we learned today? We planned to talk more about food though, right? When we were gonna talk about this episode, we planned to talk more about food than we actually did. But I want you all to know that we didn’t intend for it to end up like this. But then we just sat down and the synergy happened and sometimes you just gotta let it happen, I’m sorry. Yeah, yeah. Sometimes you just gotta let this stuff flow freely. Why do we think that we wouldn’t eat these aliens? Oh. Here’s the thing. Octopi are like smarter than humans, right? Maggie, google that. But they don’t eat us. What? But they don’t eat us but we eat them. No, but I’m saying we eat them. So you think we would eat the aliens? I’m saying that cannibalism, somewhat recently is a very disgusting thing to humans. Some cultures still do it. Many cultures did it in the past. So that’s off the table. But we’ll eat any other creature, right? Just about. Just about. Yeah, just about. Yeah, we’ve illegalized dog trade ’cause people have soft spots for them. But the aliens come in, I mean, why are we not viewing them as a potential food source? It depends how many they are and how plentiful they’re, and how we can cultivate them to grow in mass. Yeah, we don’t know how they’ll cook up either. Yeah, we don’t know how they’re gonna taste. Yeah, that’s a good point. Okay, we don’t have to eat the aliens. How about this? Yeah. How about the aliens come here, they eat us and we’re free. ♪ God bless America, home of the Whopper ♪ ♪ Home that I love ♪ ♪ Beside her and guide her ♪ ♪ To the light that I shine on above ♪ [Nicole] This show is sponsored by Better Help. Sometimes it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that everyone around you has gotten everything all figured out. But take it from me. Pretty much everyone feels uncertain about their direction in life at some point in time. Same here, Josh. Careers, social life, family life. There’s a lot of big decisions where we may not know all the answers. And we’re not supposed to know all the answers. So it’s okay to feel uncertain, but it’s also good to do something about those feelings and that’s where therapy can help. I know a lot of people who had really, really important experiences in therapy, discovering themselves, learning how to be the best version of themselves. Finding their way when they felt lost. The benefits are endless. Yeah, we both think everyone should give it a try if it feels right and Better Help is a great place to start. It’s entirely online, flexible and suited to your personal needs. You just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists anytime for no additional charge. Let therapy be your map with Better Help. Visit betterhelp.com/hotdogtoday to get 10% off your first month. That’s betterhelp h-e-l-p.com/hotdog. All right, Nicole, we’ve heard what you and I have to say all of it. Now it’s time to find out what other wack it is or rattling out there in the universe with all our alien fans. It’s time for a segment we call, Opinions Are Like Casseroles. Or how the aliens would say it. That’s what they would say. Thank you so much. I almost threw up just by doing that. Before we get to your opinions, we’re gonna review a review here. This is where we read a review on Apple Podcasts, which you should absolutely go ahead and fill one out and please give us five stars or one star, whatever you feel we deserve. No, five stars please. And this is from Mixed Underscore Kids Six. Good show, and yes, children listened to the show. Signed Child. Thank you, child. This was in response I believe Nicole to us saying dirty naughty things and you asked if children listen to the show and I said no. But here we have a child. Obviously you can’t fake. I said no, are you sure I said no? No, I said no. I didn’t think a child listened to the show. I didn’t think they’d be interested in like the etymology of ravioli but here we are. Good on you kid. Pretty good review, I’d give this review a four star. You’re reviewing the review. Oh yeah, review a review, okay. Yeah, yeah. I give it five stars. Is it because they’re a child? You’re sort of like? Both. I feel like it wasn’t descriptive enough. I wanna know what kind of child they are. They’re a big child, a small child. It says mixed underscore kid six. So they’re probably six and they’re mixed. Yeah, that makes sense. But then they side child, huh? Well, yeah, four stars and I’m sticking with the rating. Let’s get to our first opinion. Hi Nicole and Josh, this is Jake out of Ames, Iowa, love the show. So Iowa Staters. My wife and I were frying up chicken and Latkes the other night. Fun. And then I realized, shoot, I don’t have any sauce to put on my latkes. Oh, what’s the news? And then I remembered we have this little part of our fridge where we keep all of our sauce packets from various restaurants. And I put some Taco Bell fire sauce on the latke and it was the bomb, and I imagine that there are a lot of other sauce packets like that, that would be phenomenal latke toppings. And my opinion is you should save those little packets of sauce and then use them for things like latkes and they’re gold. Incredible opinion. I agree. First thing off the bat, this person does not have a single sauce in their fridge that is not in a leftover sauce packet. I don’t know. I have at least 15 sauces in my fridge at any given moment. Me too, me too. But that said, leftover sauces from restaurants. Which one of those do you think goes best on a latke? I would do a hoisin and sriracha mix. Dude. Yeah. Little little pho action. Yeah, yeah, yeah, pho latke. Pholatkio. Sorry children. I was thinking of all the sauces at restaurants to put on a latke and I ran through them all in my mind. The way your life would flash before your eyes- Wow, like a Rolodex. Like a Rolodex, going, going, going. Wow, bam, bam, bam, bam. And I didn’t find one that would be bad on a latke. Which I think speaks maybe more to the versatility of latkes than anything else. But standouts in that, McDonald’s honey mussy. Oh, sure. They make a good honey mussy. Yeah. Duck sauce. You know like the kind of orangey goo from a Chinese restaurant, that’d be fantastic. Hot mustard would be great on that. I like hot mustard, yeah. Ranch obviously, ranch and fried potatoes. Barbecue sauce. But you can’t keep ranch in the sauce packet drawer. You can’t keep ranch in the sauce packet. Well, he said it was in the fridge, which is smart. Okay, nevermind, I’m sorry I wasn’t listening, sorry. But also, no, you can put ranch in a drawer. They don’t refrigerate it at the restaurants. It’s just vacuum-sealed. Are you sure? I’ve gotten really warm ranch. You go to a grocery store, the ranch isn’t refrigerated if it’s unopened. That’s the grocery though. I know, but I’m saying, fast food, they probably different . Maybe, maybe you’re right, maybe you’re right. Maybe you’re right. I’m dipping it in the ranch. That’s all there is to it. I had one thing to say. Ames, Iowa is home to one of my favorite YouTube slash music artist, her name is Leslie Hall. And I love her, and I love people from Ames, Iowa. Go Cyclones. Just had to say that. Hi, my opinion is that I would rather know my food. Knows where it come from. I’d rather know where the animal came from, what the animal’s name is. I’d rather know where the animal I eat is coming from than be completely removed from that animal. I’m a farmer and that’s my opinion. Shout out farmers. Do you wanna take this one? Because I have to think on mine a little bit. Nicole has to think about this. No, I think this is incredibly important. And honestly, I wish it was something that I practiced more than I currently preached because I am preaching about it often. But we often cook with a lot of animal viscera, right, with the awful, we cook with the head, we cook with the tongue, all this. And anytime we show specifically an animal head, I understand that it can be a somewhat jarring image for people to see. We’ll get a lot of people being like, you monster, how could you possibly show that? And it’s like every chicken nugget that you’ve ever eaten- Had a face. It had a face, right? Yeah. Every animal, every steak, every hamburger, all this stuff. Until I was 10 years old, I didn’t know that ground beef came from a cow. I thought ground beef grew from the ground because nobody told me that and we’re so far removed from our food system. To me that was just something that was bought in a package at the grocery store. And I had no idea to know. I once met a girl in college who did not know that chicken, the meat was connected to chicken the animal, I swear to God. Wow. She was at one of the top research institutions in the entire nation, and we get chicken thigh and she goes, what are these hard things? I’m like, they’re bones. She’s like, what do you mean, chicken doesn’t have bone in it? And so I think we are very, very far removed and I think it’s incredibly important. Eat less meat, eat higher quality meat. And I know that’s a very privileged thing to say because high quality meat costs so much freaking money. And it’s so easy to get a giant tube of ground beef from a grocery store. But there’s gonna have to be a reckoning with factory farming in the somewhat near future and I hope we can get back to more local sustainable. Sure, the one thing that I thought of is knowing the animal’s name and I think personifying it is something that I have a little bit of an issue with because number one, every time I see Vital Farms eggs and I see the name of the chicken, I do feel a little bit bad that I’m taking this chicken’s eggs. But at the same time- Those eggs are discharged, right? What do you mean they’re discharged? I don’t know what that means. Like those eggs aren’t gonna, wait, hold on. I don’t know, I don’t know. Not all eggs are like fertilized that chickens lay. This is like a very basic thing that now I’m questioning myself on. Oh, I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know. If you’re not stealing the babies, you’re effectively stealing the menses. Oh, I’m stealing the periods. You’re stealing the chicken periods. Which like, I think should be fair game. Okay, whatever. Okay, whatever, I don’t know. But long story short, I feel bad whenever I say, hi, this is Dolly, Dolly is a chicken on our farm and she helped give you some of these eggs. And I’m like, thank you Dolly, I think. Well, you should be grateful and you should feel bad. Yeah, I’m grateful and I feel bad. My family had a chicken in Iran named Pofak and there’s pictures of Pofak in our family albums. And then I asked my mom, what’d you guys do with the Pofak? She’s like, ate him. Yeah, what else did you do with the chicken? And I’m like, didn’t that suck? She’s like, kind of, gotta do what you gotta do. And I guess it’s just different, like, I guess factory farming, I mean, factory raising animals wasn’t that prevalent back then, but- Yeah, I also think that people would feel differently about eating cheap produce if you had a card that said, hey, here’s my name, I’m Mike, I’m the farmer that picked this and I get paid like $4 a day because we’ve somehow made like modern day slavery legal within the agriculture industry. Look up the Immokalee Farm Workers Union, I believe they’re called. Kind of blew the lid off of how much farmers are actually getting paid. And it’s a bummer, yeah. Food system’s pretty messed up and you think about it for too long, you get real sad about it. And you know, we’re all trying our best out here. Hopefully we get better. Hopefully we can enact some change sooner rather than later. I’d name an animal like Bozo, we’re eating Bozo the goat and then its all funny. Have you ever had any edible animal like an animal that you would eat? No, I’ve had like pet guinea pigs and I’ve eaten a Guinea pig. They’re commonly eaten in Peru, in Ecuador. It’s called Cuy, and it’s delightful. And I also love guinea pigs and I don’t see anything wrong with eating something that I love. Next. Hey Josh, Nicole, another Josh here. Hi. Whoa. I just had this amazing realization outside of Seattle on vacation. If you eat Ghirardelli sea salt caramel chocolates after eating flaming hot Cheetos, it gives off major peppermint vibes. Oh. Oh. Sick. Oh, chili mitt. That’s interesting. That sounds great, I love both of those things separately. Never thought to eat them back to back like that. Yeah, but here’s the thing, Nicole, they’re lying. Oh, what? They’re lying. Have you done this before? No, I haven’t done this before. So do know if they’re lying or not. Their chemical compounds are so much different. You’re talking about like capsaicin heat from chili powder. You can’t just call someone a liar like that. Versus like a mentholated sensation from peppermint. I think this man is lying for clout. Nicole, he is coming on here and he is lying to us. Josh, I get our podcast is popular, but like, it’s not that popular people are clout chasing on it. No, I don’t think that’s true at all. Maybe it does feel that way for him, give him a chance. I would like to try it and I believe you deserve to be heard. Also, that just sounds like a fun day. Vacation, Seattle. Little like treat mint, a little chocolate sea salt caramel, flaming hot Cheetos. Is Seattle known as the Windy City, real question? No, Seattle is known as the Emerald City. Oh, what’s the Windy City? Chicago. Oops, nevermind. All right. I was thinking maybe it was in Seattle and his mouth was open and the wind was helping with the, you know. Well, a crazy thing that I found out though. Do you think I’m stupid sometimes. No, no, no, no, no, no, it’s not stupid because I found out though that other cities sometimes also have wind. Like, no, no, no, think about this Nicole, have you ever like been outside in Los Angeles and you feel something almost sort of like blowing out. Like it just kind of, your hair is moving back and you’re like, is that God like shouting and his breath is, no, it’s called something like wind. So other cities could also have it. So that could be a possibility in Seattle. Hey Josh and Nicole, this is Jacob from your neighbors to the east in an empire. Hey, riverside 951 baby. And I just warped up the Girl Scout cookies episode and Josh said that he wanted to talk about cults. So I’m gonna try and give that opportunity to him. As we all know, cults have a distinct attachment to food, whether it be restrictive diets, like , Rajneeshees poisoning salad bars. And of course, we all know not to drink the Kool-Aid or flavor ade. Flavor ade, yep. Now my question to you is what cult has the best diet? Which one would you not mind being part of just based on the food, thank you. The Source family, actually from my knowledge, the Source family was one of those very new age hippie-ish cults around the Los Angeles area. Kind of like part of that like Topanga Canyon or that Laurel Canyon music movement, a lot of psychedelics and all that. But they opened up actually a vegan restaurant. It might still be there, Maggie, if you could look up the Source family restaurant in Los Angeles. But they owned and operated a restaurant for a very long time. Cool. And as far as I know, I don’t think they were one of like the murdery cults. I think they were one of the fun singing drum circle cults, but also still very culty. That’d be my first one. The second one may be controversial to call it a cult, but it’s called Landmark Forum. Why do you know so much about cults? I love cults. People’s capacity to believe has never stopped astounding me. And I guess as somebody who like grew up around a lot of people with very strong religious beliefs, mostly Evangelicals and Mormons. But also knowing that my family was Jewish, but also my mom was kind of into some weird culty stuff. I’ve always just been fascinated because to me, religion, no sorry, cult plus time equals religion ’cause its not a lot of- Sure, yeah, I get that. Delineation in my mind. And so yeah, Landmark Form though is a very Tony Robbinsy self-help thing. They have a lot of trappings of cults and Panda Express is actually like, kind of formally associated with them. No way. It’s a very, again, it’s a very- There should be a podcast. There’s a lot of problematic stuff about Landmark, but it is a kind of very self-helpy thing. But again, people thought that’s what Nxivm was, right. Nxivm was just a kind of self-helpy thing. Yeah, on Wikipedia it says companies such as Panda Express and previously Lululemon have paid for and encourage employees to take part in the Landmark Forum. Yeah and then there’s stories about like a, Panda Express manager going to a Landmark Forum class and they’re like stripped naked and berated in front of a bunch of people, so like very problematic. But that said, I mean if I was part of Landmark Forum, I feel like I get free Panda Express for life and I do love me some orange chicken, baby. I don’t really have an answer. I did just watch How to Become a Cult Leader on Netflix. That’s a good show. Which is narrated by Peter Dinklage and he does a great job. He did How to Be a Dictator or something like that. Oh, How to Be a Tyrant. How to Be a Tyrant, whatever it was called and he did How to be a Cult Leader. And I found a cult called The Buddha Field Cult. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which was started by a known man named Andreas or Jaime Gomez, and he made them, they were like eating like very fresh. Oh, they were? Yeah, they’re like super hot and no dairy, no sugar. Gluten-free, organic. Gluten-free organic, and I’m like, Erewhon. So Buddha Field. But I wouldn’t want it, I don’t think I could. Everyone thinks that they wouldn’t join a cult until you join a cult, you know what I mean? Everyone thinks that they’re not the type that could ever join a cult. Well, that’s the kind of people that they want. That’s the kinda people that they want. They want nonbelievers and then because they know the non-believers, once they break ’em, they are true believers. Yeah, man, I couldn’t, I couldn’t start a cult. Yeah, you could. Alright. Of course, you could. You should. Well, on that note. Maybe you already do. You think we have already started a cult in Mythical Kitchen? We don’t have a strong enough belief system. We don’t have enough like internal language. Like if we, say, had like garments that we like printed catchphrases on, that’d be one thing, but we don’t. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my hotdog water. Anyways, thank you so much for stopping by Hot Dog is a Sandwich. We’ve got new episodes out every Wednesday on the audio only version. And then what, Sundays we got videos of us just sitting here. Yeah, and if you wanna be featured on Opinions Are Like Casseroles, you can hit us up at 833 DOG-POD1. The number again is 833 DOG-POD1, yeah! And on the off chance that you watch this and you’re like, my God, I need to watch more of them, they’re so intoxicating with their beauty and charm. We have other videos out on this very channel. Unless you’re listening to Spotify, that’s, well, it’s on a YouTube channel. I’ll tell you what, it’s called Mythical Kitchen. And sometimes we cook and sometimes I ask- We’re a cult. I ask Tom Hanks about what happens when you die. And you eat ramen with Post Malone shirtless. And other times, we just sort of like make a grilled cheese. See you next time.