| ( E A ) x2 E A On the first day of 1st Grade E A We were both held in from recess E A B ‘Cause we were both writing profanity on our desks I wrote hell! I wrote damn! E But I spelled it d-a-m, so it technically wasn’t a curse word But I think Mrs. Locklear knew my intentions E A Our punishment was coloring unicorns E A And that’s when we became best friends E A But equally as important B B We never defaced public property again! A So if you’ve got a kid who’s E A Writing obscene graffiti E Give him a picture of a mythical beast A And he will cease B A E To write profanity B A E Don’t write profanity E A E Now, this may seem like something cute we just wrote in a song but it’s actually true A E A E It has been scientifically proven that you cannot formulate curse words while coloring pictures of mythical beasts E A Allow me to demonstrate ( E A ) x3 E A E Ass-itote A E A Shi-ver me timbers E A Fu-nnel cakes E A Mo-ther fu-nnel cakes! You see, it’s mother fu-nnel cake-ing impossible A So if you’ve got a kid who’s E A Writing obscene graffiti E Give him a picture of a mythical beast A And he will cease B A E To write profanity B A E Don’t write profanity B A E E Just color a mythical beast |