[Music] thank you [Music] hey this is dispatches from Myrtle Beach and this is Charles Neal and my son link Neil from Good Mythical Morning we’re getting ready to swing into another show so how you doing son I’m doing good I just ate a donut what’s your favorite donut I like though like the clock well I don’t know if it’s an eclair but the ones with the custard feeling in the middle of it sometimes that’s my favorite donut and we would be on the exact same page but today I my favorite donut is the um chocolate cake with the chocolate glaze you know what I’m talking about so it’s just like chocolate on chocolate she’s a chocolate on chocolate person oh she’s got a whole league she’s got a donut leak yeah I don’t know about a league batter up chocolate on she likes chocolate cake with chocolate icing with chocolate ice cream on it okay okay see I don’t like chocolate I don’t like cake but I like a cake donut and I dip it in my coffee and I’m I’m just trying to tell you that I’m in a good headspace I’m bringing you my best because I gave I gave my best to that donut and it gave it right back well that’s a good thing yeah how about you how you feeling I’m about wore out but I’m doing pretty good why are you wore out cause I worked all day today and for about six days in a row so uh what was it a deadline or something it was a deadline so we could go to the Mountain snow skiing tomorrow oh really oh yeah well are you gonna be too wore out to ski this old man is not gonna be skiing I might do some tubing but I’m not going to be skiing he’s gonna do sweet tubing we we tried that last year and uh I about broke too many bones just trying to learn how again so I I figured it was and the instructor looked at and said how old are you and me and Nancy we said 70. he said y’all need to go over there and sit down somewhere else really yep thank God hey he needs to stick around he just needs to keep speaking in your ear how do you you don’t need to be working over the weekends and all that that was going to be my second question is you’re not planning on actually skiing so I’m glad you you gonna you’re gonna limit it to your ass in a tube yeah that’s exactly what we’re gonna do if your ass ain’t already on the snow you ain’t gonna go that would be correct yeah who’s gonna ski Cameron and Brandy and once you see Cameron and Brandy and Carl and Candace skiing don’t don’t start getting jealous now remember don’t worry about that what’s going on what are you gonna hear unless my what hey that’s my ass is on the ground I don’t need to be doing it what that didn’t rhyme though unless your ass is in the snow don’t need to go don’t need to go don’t need to go I can stay put over here on the side now I don’t because I I need a I want to get a review uh an update on the back side of this no broken bones no concussions just a lot of spectating that’s that would be correct that’s exactly what’s going to be going on what what mountain are y’all going to Beech Mountain Beach Mountain the old church ski trip Mountain that’s where we would go okay but you’re wore out I’m good I guess you’re doing this trip so that kind of spaces it out yeah you don’t have to always be working dad just you know wedge in some some more downtime I’m gonna try to start doing that that after after they get through with this one I’m gonna try to start by playing a little golf again so we’ll just have to see I feel like we’ve had this conversation before and you have it again [Laughter] you already said right when I get back I’m getting right back into it next job all right yeah well you know when you got people waiting they want you to come fix what they got and that I’m doing this to fix it so I have to go try to fix it so that’s just the way it is okay all right all right I’m gonna get off your back I’m just trying to love on you I’m just trying to appreciate it yeah because you know it’s it is the time of love it’s time of love because we we I’m gonna you wanna uh I’m gonna go ahead and give a little holler out to my wife Nancy for Valentine’s Day and so we can uh when the podcast and the video comes out for you too we’ll we’ll we’ll have where we can look this stuff and have a little love nest watching the uh podcast and uh videos so uh uh listening too so we might have something going on they can’t ever tell what I might get into might swing into something else hold on cute you seem to be describing let me see if I’m hearing this right you seem to be sane that you’re you want to give Nancy a a Valentine’s greetings so that when this comes out on Valentine’s Day y’all can listen to it and then two days later when it comes out on video you can watch it and it can lead to love making it might yeah that’s exactly what I was saying well Dad but I’m here too man hey I’m I’m just giving a holler out to my wife you you’re going to give your own holler out to your wife yeah and you beat me too yeah it’s like it’s not it’s not gonna mean as much now that I feel like I’m just copying you yeah oh yes it will yeah yeah you can’t worry about that all right good all right I would like to give a holler out to the love of my life my coochie coochie come on over here baby my one and only for always my Christy I love me some Christy she I’m just I’m getting Goosebumps just saying her name Christy I love Christy she’s so good for me she’s so good for me it’s just great to have my Christy like I’m gonna I’m leaving here when we’re done recording I’m going home she’s a little under the weather and it’s our date night and we canceled uh our reservations because she just doesn’t feel like going anywhere and what I told her this morning was I’m looking forward to our date and if you don’t feel like going anywhere if you don’t feel up to it because you’re still under the weather we’ll just cancel that but we’re still going to have our date we’re going to look at each other’s faces this is what I told her right before I left the house I said we’re going to look at each other’s faces and we’re going to talk to each other and that’s what we’re going to do in the least but that’s important you know oh yeah my career I love you Christy ha dad I beat you now you better give it another shot you’re getting ready to give it another shot give another holler out to Nancy and I I love my Nancy just like you love your Christy cause she she looks after me and cooks for me and just does all kind of achieving she even came and helped me uh clean up this week so I could get through with that job yeah you talk about the cooking and the cleaning oh yeah okay is that it what but keep going though but you know she’s my one and only she she’s the one that makes my world go around in a circle so we we just keep swinging right along we we know what we want and try to what we gonna do so we’ll just have to see how things work out for Valentine’s because I love me some Nancy they know what they want they know what they’re gonna do Logan she’s a sweetheart we love her to death whoo well I got a um a little special Valentine’s holler out for uh uh from Lydia Edwards okay uh lady I’m gonna do this for you but first up Lydia’s uh been fighting uh stage three cancer for a few months now and she ain’t just all up to Snuff and I can understand what she’s going through a little bit because uh I have to take some medicine for cancer everything now but she wants me to do a holler out too good her fiance Travis that he can have a great wonderful Valentine’s Day and coming for her from uh dispatches from Myrtle Beach and we we’re gonna give him a big holler out that Lydia loves you and won’t we can’t do everything we won’t do for um Valentine’s right now but uh she wants you to know that she wants you to have a special Valentine’s and we’re gonna we’re giving it to you from dispatches from Myrtle Beach uh there you go Travis and Travis he listens to this podcast all the time so uh Travis is in Greensboro North Carolina and have a Happy Valentine’s Day from his fiance Lydia so uh she said thank you for always being there for me through everything and and he’s getting ready to have his 27th birthday too so may may be a good year for you Travis and for Lydia so we’re giving a holler out for Travis from Lydia for uh Valentine’s Day we are a conduit of love Dad we’re pulling in Lydia’s love we’re understanding that like you said she’s not she’s not up to Snuff these days sometimes you like that you know you want to love on somebody and you just you physically you don’t have it in you and uh oh you’re making a face you know I’m saying something important something and you’re distracting me oh I’m sorry well I I I I did my fingers and learned how to scroll up on this computer and I did it like I supposed to that’s astounding for me okay oh dog just learned a new trick you learn how to use a track pad on a laptop yeah and it worked might not work the next time congratulations Dad you just learned how to work a track pad I’m proud of you yeah and you’re proud of yourself can I finish yes I am can I finish my thought yeah go ahead I’m sorry I apologize I accept it and you know what as much as I interrupt you I’ve I listen back to uh I listen back to every podcast before it comes out this is an aside and um you know I have this proclivity to interrupt and I’m not just talking about with you or on any other podcast that I might host but I in normal life with people that I love very much some some of which I haven’t that that I’ve that I’ve talked about earlier on this podcast and some some um some particular um uh friends and co-workers that I have here who might be an executive and a lesbian here at mythical I have I have interrupted her a lot on our other show and I’m trying working on that it’s all that to say I made up my mind and I’m gonna I’m not gonna interrupt you as much because you got some good to say Dad and you don’t need me wedging myself in the middle of it so you’re more than forgiven I’m sorry for all the times I’ve interrupted you well I kind of thought you knew maybe that that’s what makes this world go around with me interrupting you and you interrupting me so I don’t know if we need to stop that or not so you need to let’s not apologize then yeah okay we have an agreement yeah I was I was just uh I was just twisting your twig a little bit yeah I made that one up um yeah but you but what was I saying I was saying Travis Lydia loves you and you know she’s doing the best she can and I know you’re loving her through everything she’s going through um so happy Valentine’s Day to both of y’all we wish you all the best in your uh engagement and your marriage and uh keep us posted how could they do that Dad just rather be shagging 53 at AOL.com yep and Lydia hang in there girl you got this girl you got it it’s time for another edition of Myrtle Beach mailbag well I got a uh uh email from Caroline Johnson big Johnson hey boy that that brings back memories big Johnson boy let them t-shirts I love that yeah especially down there in your nugget of woods you gotta yeah I mean are they not down there anymore like you go in any of those shops on the strip in Myrtle Beach and all those t-shirt shops are they still there I don’t I don’t I don’t see those anymore you got to go down there and and let me know what’s down there now take some pictures all right this will be fun Dad yes this is I mean this is just an idea but I would love for you to go down this the Myrtle Beach strip especially if it’s like at night and just take some pictures of what the shops are down there like what what can be bought because back in the day the big Johnson t-shirts were everywhere it was like it was just a bunch of innuendo about this this like scrawny dude with the with the big right that’s what big Johnson yeah big Johnson that’s right so so maybe this um this person who is it maybe this is Mrs Johnson Caroline Johnson Caroline might be related to Big Johnson yes he might be let’s hear it Caroline says how is playing bridge similar to sex yeah she must be kin to him I was playing bridge similar to having sex yep I don’t know anything about Bridge it’s a card game yep it’s like a car game that old people play no I don’t know I’m like you I don’t know anything about Bridge either but I a lot of people that I think are getting on up or it’s something that you know and love but when you get old you just you don’t want to play it I don’t know I I I don’t I can’t put I can’t pull it together says if you don’t have a good partner you better have a good hand I I I I get half of it I get the sex half of that but I just don’t know enough about bridge I guess you have a partner or you got to have a good hand for the people for the old people listening who be who are playing bridge they’re cackling right now yep that I guess so yeah we can only guess did you know sport had a newsletter I know I didn’t coming out every two weeks you can keep it with all the new and updated food rankings and product reviews visit sport.com subscribe to sign up now I got one from Michael E says want to hear a joke about my penis absolutely he says never mind it’s too long I just wonder if you can start pulling some of these have you told any of these jokes have you repeated them in like casual conversation a little bit bringing some of these up especially some of the good ones that was right too bad Michael right that one was very conversational yeah hey you want me to tell you a joke about my penis never mind never mind it’s too it’s too long that’s a good delivery too and then and you and you just people don’t think you’re telling a joke well they just think you’re being strange or inappropriate or or weird like that award we won right you can lean over lean over to whoever’s sitting next to you in church and try that one on if well if it’s a guy that you know yeah um well I got a guy I might try that only church yeah all right let me know Dad I just need you to email me I’d rather be shagging53 aol.com keep me posted yeah well I gotta I’m not gonna I’ve got that I don’t read your emails I got another email from Tommy and he he wants to know have either of you had any near-death experiences and I know you ain’t uh uh been around as long as I have but I think you’ve had some but boy I I got to thinking about this one and uh back in my younger days when someone I had a 55 Chevrolet and some people won’t understand this but it had a 396 375 in it but it had 720 horsepower and it was when I was young and I had probably been drinking too much yeah and I left somewhere and drove off the road and hit a cupboard in the road and turned the car end over in three times flipping the only head over towel overhead tail overhead tail overhead three times three times and everywhere but where I was sitting the top of the car was mass flat to the seat except for right where it kind of just sloped down was sitting right there and the only thing it did to me was cut the top of my ear off except for it was hanging by just a little bit so my buddy I just dropped off he come pick me up and for the police or the law could get and this is in like 1972. he said uh well I’m about to take you to the doctor carry me to the doctor down there and carry me to see Dr Williford who was my uh doctor which he had to take a physical for for we played football and basketball in high school and everything and the guy’s name that carried me down there was Danny Thomas and he told Danny he said well I’m gonna sir Charles’s ear back on but he don’t need no novocaine he said because he’s got enough in his body right now where he don’t need nothing for pain so like adrenaline yep so he sewed my ear back on and I still got it it’s still on so that was about his closest of an probably with the I written a good Lord but just looking after me because that was as close to a near-death experiences I’ve had I’ve had you know when if you turn a car into being three times that’s crazy dad man so you think God kept you alive to fulfill your purpose uh hey I think he’s still trying to fulfill my purpose yes I do you know I mean the big one was uh in 78 you know in June of 78 you know what I’m saying around the first of the month I would say exactly the first of the month in the year 78 yeah you fulfilled a grand purpose that would be correct making me the first well you didn’t make me then but yeah that was the that was the culmination of that was the carbonation I’m saying nine months before that now you got used to hey there’s still story to tell you know you got lots of Life to Live I hope so but that was that’s crazy let’s go can you go ahead and just put a disclaimer on your story about drinking and driving please oh yeah please if you go if you gonna drive don’t drink especially at this day and time when back in them days you got away with a little bit but you can’t get away with it now and it’s not a good thing so no drinking and driving no drinking and driving and not just because you can’t get away with it because it ain’t because you might hurt somebody else so what did you just left the car there like did you how did your friend was behind you he heard me I dropped him off about a half a mile up the road and he heard me when I had to wreck and he got in his car and come down there and he heard it happen he heard it happen oh it must have been a racket yeah I imagined it was a racket so he you got in his car you like abandoned your car there in the wreckage yeah not I didn’t need to be there if the police was coming so I didn’t want to get a ticket so I didn’t see the police till the next day so yeah and then they he called a wrecker and they pulled a card that’s when I still living with Mom and Dad and they pulled a car down to Mom and Daddy’s house and and parked it out the edge of the driveway and that that was one of them times that Daddy said I told you that car was going to get about get you killed yeah I ain’t got nothing to top that I mean I got poison ivy really bad once can poison ivy key I was pretty miserable I don’t know that’s all like that’s all I got I don’t know I got nothing I got nothing close to that and I’m proud I’m proud of it I really yeah I think you have got something close to that too what you talking about what you’re you’re in Rhett and all them boys ski trip before you ended up in the hospital well yeah well I mean yeah when I broke my pelvis I had the concussion uh I yeah you got to watch somebody closely if they if they have a concussion it can absolutely kill you it was stupid to not be wearing a helmet after that I was wearing a helmet yeah there’s that and like uh I hadn’t more I had some near-death experiences in high school when we were like kayaking in the uh Cape Fear River at like flood stage we didn’t we we didn’t we didn’t have the skills to do what we were doing so there was a number of times like that but uh it was never anything where I was like I don’t know what we didn’t know how close we were to how to death I would say and we were all right we had we had a ball we had a ball we made it through Andy W once said what does a perverted frog say a perverted frog uh slimy um rib ribbit there you go that’s what I said ribbit ribbit rub it rub it rub it oh well yeah they didn’t quite what I was saying but okay I’ll take that one I got it rub it rub it rub it rub it rub it rub it you’re so perverted now it’s time for a word from our sponsor well we’re gonna do a sponsors ad this week and we’re gonna do one for my wife Nancy since it’s Valentine’s Day and she makes all this I’m gonna show it to you all right so this is a freebie go for it so we’re giving a big advertisement for in his her Jerry is called precious petals jury by Nancy Neal all right all this beautiful jewelry that people can buy so if you want to buy some just send me something to rather be shagging it 53aol.com we’ll see if we can hook you up with some of my wife’s jewelry but she’s going to be doing a uh she’s got a tent for uh let’s see St Patrick’s Day and gonna be set up and gonna be selling she’s got I think she told me last night she had 240 pieces of jewelry that she has made that she’s going to be selling what come on down see Nancy uh that’s my she’s my Valentine but she’s gonna be y’all’s special jewelry maker for that time so come on down and uh get some of her jewelry [Music] that’s beautiful precious petals I got an email asking for some advice from Margaret McCracken I’ll help you get out of the woods Margaret I bet there’s a thousand people or ten thousand people just wondered about this and says my name is Morgan and I need some advice when I’m at work I work in an office and I hold my farts in because I don’t want to be known as the stinky co-worker nope but I really want to just let them rip because throwing that up storing them up can’t be good for my gut health I said do you have any tips for discreetly farting at work around other people well Margaret you got to learn how to when you’re at home and you got you you got to have that let that gas out you got to work on it where you can let it out right quietly for then you you look around and say Lord where did that come from I mean who did that and then if it accidentally comes out and it’s lie out and does you just stand up and say I did that nobody else can top that just be proud of what you did you know I mean it’s just a natural thing that when you have gas and you got to fart you got to let it out cause if you don’t believe that send me an email in here and I’ll have Nancy answer because she’ll flat tell you that when I if I got a fart I’m gonna let it go I got to let it go so more room out tis in that’s right there’s more room out than he is in so you know Margaret you just kind of kind of see you’re gonna have to practice some at home see if you can ease one out before you don’t get caught but if you do get caught and if it smells that bad you ought to claim it you ought to claim it so you know that’s just my feeling about it you know because all them other people around you just working in there they probably got the same thing going on too so you might get something started for all y’all might be farting at one another in there in the office oh you’re talking about you talking about changing the culture changing the workplace culture yeah we might change the contrast right so that everybody at her place of work just farts freely that sounds like a good idea all right that’s a good one I would say that was Santa kind of Juicy yeah yeah that’s my juicy I’m chewing on my Juicy Fruit not a sponsor so you’re telling me if it practice at home to make it quiet and if it’s quiet but it stinks you say what you got you just look around like where in the world did that come from oh man oh good God who did that see if you blame it on somebody else if you get good at that then you you you you blame it on all them people sitting around you yeah of course if it if you get caught then you know if it’s loud that’s it if it’s then what do you say it yeah then you just have to say I did that can you top it can you step up step up y’all it’s time for the fart contest my entry has been submitted you heard it come over and smell it and you know what we can have the I.T Department over here we can have I don’t know what line of work she’s in we can have the Auditors in here we can have we can have this um the office managers we can do it by bracket but y’all add up because I farted see if you can top it uh you know everybody I think everybody had a little gas so of course I don’t know if you hold it if it like if I don’t know if it’s like every time I have to fart if you hold it in if it’s that same one that keeps coming back or if it’s a different one like if you’re like if you would like you keep pushing new ones back up in there and you’re gonna explode or if it’s just the same one knocking on the door again is now a better time I don’t know about that I don’t know how that works we’re going to have to call Dr Williford well it was fun uh having all y’all with us today y’all come on back next Tuesday and Thursday for another one and we’re gonna swing into what we can swing into and whirl around and if you got a joke a question or comment you’d like to share with me he email me at rather be shagging53 at AOL.com that was a real fun one today I don’t know what got into us but maybe it was that donut might have been but I think it might just be love in the air that’s what it is and that’s what we started out with love in there he ended up with gas in that oh man I love you Dad love you too we can’t wait so whirl around again next week so y’all come on back to the podcast and all of it I love it uh and the YouTube look at us and see what’s going on so we love our loving we’ll see you next week bye-bye love you I love you