(upbeat music) – Welcome to Ear Biscuits. – Today at the round table of dim lighting, it’s us. – Hey. – Me, Link. – And me, Rhett. (Link laughs) – It’s been awhile since we’ve Ear Biscuited. And here we are doin’ it with a video component. – Yes, for those of you who are just listening to this Ear Biscuit, you would be in the know if you were watching the video version, and you would know that I have on a hoodie. Link has on a– – [Both] Plaid shirt. – And I’m drinking. – I’m also drinking. – From a mug. – I’m drinking a beverage. A Dr. Pepper beverage. Not a sponsor. – I’m drinking some sort of grapefruit thing. Turn my, crank my knob a little bit. There we go. (laughs) Turn up my volume. – Is that a euphemism for something? – No, it’s not. – Or would you– – I just wanted to hear all of us a little bit– – Yeah, okay, wow. – Louder. – Okay, how’s that sound? We’re controlling the audio on this end here. – That’s just for us. – Yes. – That has nothing to do with your listening abilities or the quality of your listening experience. – Yeah, so, there was quite a break between season two and season three of Ear Biscuits, but we are back. And yes, we’re bringing you the audio and the video experience. And– – And we’re doing this every Monday morning now. – Yes. – So this is comin’ out– – Well, we’re not doing this on Monday morning. But you can receive it into your ears, and also now your eyes, although we are not going to change it to Eye Biscuits. Because that sounds like an Apple product that got shelved. – It sounds like a problem. – Yeah. – Like somethin’ you need to see the doctor about. – Yeah. – Doctor, I can’t get rid of these eye biscuits. – It sounds like somethin’ you wake up with. – Of course, the ear biscuits kind of seem like that, too. I’ve always thought that. – It’s wax. I’ve always thought that it was just wax. – It’s wax that comes out in a sandwichable form. – But it’s not. An Ear Biscuit is an audio waveform file that we create that then we upload to the internets, and then you find different and various ways to impute it into your brain. – I don’t think we need to tell people what it is, except what we intend to do with it. – I thought I was gonna explain how podcasts work. I thought that’s what this first one was about. It was all about how podcasts work. Isn’t that the subject today? – No. – Okay, that’s not the subject today. – We’re just gonna talk to each other. I mean, that’s the plan for this, is we’re gonna speak to one another. – Let’s speak to one another. – Let’s speak. (laughs) This is good so far. – Yeah, right, I just, I like speaking to you, man. – Look at us speaking to one another. We don’t do enough of that on the internet. – If you enjoyed the first couple of seasons of, and listen, I’m gonna have to figure out which camera I’m gonna look at. I’m just gonna look at whatever camera feels natural. Or maybe just look at you. Or maybe just look up. – Well, if you’re talking to me, look at me. – Okay. – And if you’re talking to– – I’m talking to the listener right now. – To the listener, look at the listener. – If you enjoyed season one and two of Ear Biscuits, you know that usually what we did is we brought in a guest. They were often an internet star of some sort. And they signed table. And we kind of drilled them with some questions and took you on a journey into their lives. And some people cried sometimes. – Yes. – That was unexpected. – Well, except we tried to get it to happen. – And that is going to happen on season three. But season three is going to be a little bit different in that more and varied things will happen on season three. So, sometimes we’ll talk to each other, sometimes we’ll talk to somebody from the internet. Sometimes we’ll just talk to somebody that interests us. – Well, and I don’t wanna say all the– – We don’t know what we’re gonna do. – Sometimes we’re gonna do, and then make– – We’re holding it all very loosely. Like a baby bird that has fallen out of the nest. You don’t wanna hold it tight, you wanna hold it loose, then you wanna let it fly right back up to the mom. But if it can’t fly yet, you gotta trash it. (laughs) Because once you touch it, the mom is going to reject it. Actually, that’s not true. That is a myth. – What do you mean you– – It’s a myth, it’s a myth, it’s a myth. – But you were touching it, you were just touching it lightly. So the analogy doesn’t work. But once you touch it, but if once you touch it heavily, then the mama won’t take it back. – It’s actually a myth. – Are you saying it’s a myth? – If a baby bird falls out of the mom’s nest, touch it lightly, but do put it back, because it will not be rejected. That’s a myth. I’m not 100% sure. That’s why we have an internet connection here. Link, can you look that up and confirm? Because facts are gonna be important. And it hasn’t been important before, but in season three of Ear Biscuits, facts are important. – [Link] If you touch a baby bird, will its mom abandon it? Why are their so many words when all I need is– – [Link And Rhett] A yes or a no. – [Link] I mean, the reason why Mental Floss– – [Rhett] Give me a distillation, Link. – [Link] Wrote a whole article is because of these ads. 31 Adorable Slang Terms for Sex From the Last 600 Years. – [Rhett] That’s quite a diversion. What’s the answer? – [Link] There’s a Wire Above Manhattan That You’ve Probably Never Noticed. – You’re getting distracted by the side articles right now, and all we need is a fact check, man. – The Best Breakfast Spot In All 50 States. – What is that? – Oh my gosh, look. – Is it just Denny’s? – [Link] Doctor Strange is bleeding. What, I gotta click on that. – Hold on, is it the different breakfast spots in all 50 states? Or is it one place that you can go to all 50 states like Cracker Barrel or Denny’s? – These days I feel bad about that. And by that, I think they mean touching a baby bird. It turns out my mom is full of bologna. – Please answer the question. – Your mom is full of bologna. – Yep. It is a myth. You can touch a baby bird. – Yeah, I didn’t read the article. But from that one thing about where they said bologna, I think that’s what it boils down to. – Okay, so, facts are really important. And we think, based on just one website, that is a myth, you can touch a baby bird. But back to the analogy. We’re gonna hold the baby bird that is our podcast called Ear Biscuits– – Lightly. – And I could explain how a podcast works, but I’m not going to, because you probably already know, and maybe you’re not interested, and that’s not why you’re here. But we’re gonna hold it lightly, and we’re gonna bring it right back up to the nest. And the nest is your ear. Or maybe, you know, wherever you typically let podcasts into your body. – I feel like I’m gonna talk less now that we have video, because I rest easy knowing that my exasperated look for that whole tirade is not anything that I need to– – Yeah, exactly. – That I need to vie for. – Yeah, right, yeah. You got all the attention you needed while I was doin’ that. – Just with a look. I didn’t have to, but you should also hold other human babies lightly that aren’t your own. – Unless you’re tryin’ to keep ’em out of a wolf’s mouth or somethin’ like that. – Then grip it, vice. – Yeah, yeah, you don’t wanna let an animal take it. – Vice grip it. But who knows what all we’re gonna try here at the round table of dim lighting. So I’m not gonna put a finite ending on the list. I’m gonna leave an ellipses. – Ellipses. – A dot, and a dot and a dot. – Yeah, right. – I think, at least for this podcast, the general principle is there are things that, and we’ve said this before, we’ve said this in the context of Good Mythical More, but I’ll say it here, too, there are things that we find ourselves talking about that’s like, yeah, let’s save it. Or, as much as we talk to each other, there’s still other things we can talk about. – Right, there’s always something to talk about. – Like what happened in the car the other day when we left for lunch, and we were driving across Burbank, I guess. – You wanna tell them about that? – I think we should tell them about that. – I thought that was the kind of thing that we would keep to ourselves. – Because, well– – And take to our graves. – Well, we almost got in a car accident. It wasn’t my fault. – It was my fault. I was driving. – But then we almost got in an altercation. There was a little bit of, I’ll call it simulated road rage. – (laughs) So, okay. – On someone’s part, maybe mine. – Okay. – And you, a few minutes later, after the whole thing resolved, in whatever way, we will explain– – I had an opinion about the way you handled it. – You had an opinion about it. – Well, can I at least just give the setup? – But then we had to get to where we were going to do what we were doing. Which, I don’t even remember what that was. – Who cares at this point? – Who even cares? – Right, we’re just goin’ from point A to point B. You can fill in the blank with whatever it is. – And we never came back to fully discussing what happened. And I think that they should be part of this. – Now we can have the listener, or the watcher and listener, can be a– – The wistener. – The wistener can be a part of this. (Link laughs) Or the latcher. Yeah, I like the wistener. – The wisteners and latchers. – Welcome wisteners. Okay, so– – Since you’re driving, you’re gonna start this. – I’ve been in quite a lot of traffic things have happened lately, you know. I told the story on Good Mythical More about the wreck that I was in. – Where you were rear-ended. – I was rear-ended, it wasn’t my fault. But this situation was my fault. It was one of those situations where I didn’t know what lane I should be in to turn, and I was kind of stalling out. We were kind of waiting for, like– – Well, you were looking at the GPS. – Oh yeah, I was waiting for the GPS to update to tell me which direction to go. And I kind of slowed down and moved over. And there was a guy behind me who got very frustrated with me. And then, it looked like I was about to take a left. – Yeah, I didn’t know any of this was happening. – And it looked like I was about the take a left, and then I didn’t, and I got right back in the lane and kept going. – But by it looked like you were gonna take a left, I think what you mean is, at the intersection you were in the left turn lane, and you had your left turn signal on. (laughs) – Yeah, yeah, I was giving, every indication was that I was gonna turn left. – I don’t know why. It looked like maybe, a little bit, I was gonna take a left. – Yeah, yeah, basically. – In every single way. – Right. – You even started to take a left. – But in my defense, I did not have my left arm out the window pointing left, which would have been the additional key that would have been definitely confirming the fact that I was going left. – If you were on a bike. – I didn’t yell out, hey, I’m turning left. I didn’t, I mean, it could have been more obvious. – Coming through, if you’re on my left. – But– – You did not. – The typical circumstances were, yes, this guy is turning left. And then I decided not to turn left. And I decided to pull right back out into the regular road. And that was when I pulled in front of a guy who– – And again, I didn’t see– – Was upset at me. – First of all, hold on, I just tried to clear my, (laughs) I was gonna say clear my airway, but I am totally, I can’t hear anything right now, because I tried to equalize. – What are you, a diver? (Link laughs) What’s going on here? – I cannot hear you, hold on. – You’re a man who’s nearly at sea level in the air, and you’re like, I was trying to equalize. What for? We haven’t changed altitude in the past five hours. – I’m sorry, hold on. – What are you suddenly trying to equalize? – Because– – Do you do this often? – (rasps) I’ve done it over the past week because of the head cold I have. – Oh, okay. That’s not really equalizing. Well, maybe it is, I don’t know. – Oh god my goodness. – Hold that bird– – Turn my notch. Notch my turn. – Do you want it– – A little bit. – Do you want it up? – Up. I’m floating. – Okay, so, is that better? – Yeah, I’m gonna live with this. – Okay. Wow. That was interesting. – I didn’t mean to derail your story. Did you see me grab my nose in the middle of you talking? – I was intentionally not looking at you. – Well, see, if you weren’t listening, so, if you were watching the watchable version– – Link is now equalized, for those of you who were worried about it. – I’m actually not. But I’m just gonna, I think over time– – Link is not equalized, but we have turned the volume up in his headphones. – I hear a little (whines). – Okay, yeah. – I’m sorry. – It’ll be like a balloon that’s slowly deflating. – Now, I did not have any purview to what was happening, and I didn’t use that word right, but I didn’t view anything that was happening. – It made sense in context. – The mirrors weren’t for me, they’re for you. So, I first thing I know is that you’re swervin’ back a little bit. And I do hear a honk. And the car does not come by. So, no one zoomed by you. So, I just had to assume the guy was still behind us. – Right. – I never looked back. But at that moment, if I’m gonna go back to that place, I don’t know what it was, but in that moment I just, I was (snaps fingers) instantly angry. Like, I was legitimately angry that he honked the horn at you. – (groans thoughtfully) You might have a problem. – And I think what I said was, I don’t remember what I said to you. – You didn’t even know that I had– – I knew that– – What I had done. – I know I knew that you had swerved a little bit. But what I said was, like he’s never made a traffic mistake. Well, and– – I said that. – And, right. – To you. – And then we pull up to the, we’re at the light. – Well, it was like another block. And that’s all I said was, like he’s never made a, like, what right does he have to blow the horn? – Well, let’s just get to the part where you begin asking him those questions. (laughs) Because– – But the point is, I don’t know what it is that in that moment of, I don’t know if it was strength or weakness, or just feeble-mindedness, but I was just angry. I just felt like, I don’t know if it was defense for a friend. And you felt vulnerable. – Well, all I know is that I saw him get out from behind me as we were pulling up to the light. And he pulled up beside us. And that was when Link rolled down his window. And I was– – I rolled down my window as he was comin’ by. – And I braced myself a little bit. Tell ’em what you said, Link. – I had made up my mind that if when we get up to this light, he pulls up beside us and has somethin’ to say, I am gonna say somethin’ back to him. Because I’m mad at this guy. I just don’t, I’m sure he’s made a mistake, too. Not currently, but previously. – At some point in his life. – At some point in his life, he’s made a traffic mistake. – This is a great strategy. – And I don’t know, I just felt feisty. – I noticed. – I just felt, I was itchin’ for I don’t know. – But he started. – He punched, I guess. – He started. He was like– – I did not say the fist word. You’re exactly right. – He was like– – But I rolled the window down. – He was like, what! – Now, he didn’t pull right beside us. He pulled a half a car length in front, and then he looked back. – He was a 45 away. – He was a 45 degree angle to me on my side. My window was down. – But he was like, what! And then he said, what the are you lookin’ at? What do you want? – But what was the– – The blank was a wordy dird. – Was it the F one? – It was the F word. – Really? – And I’m not talkin’ about– – Frankie. – Frankie, (chuckles) no I’m not. And he was clearly mad. You instigated. Basically, you instigated. He was mad already. But you rolled down the window, and he was like, (snaps fingers) he was ready. He was the kind of guy who is ready for the window roll, and in his head has his catch phrase. – Well, he was mad. He was mad. But it turns out, so was I. – And that’s when you said. An interesting tactic, by the way. – I said, I’m trying to remember exactly how I said it. I think I said, have you never done anything wrong before? Have you never messed up? And just like that. (chuckles) I’m not proud of it. And I think as we analyze this, I will be penitent. And I’ll say, you know what, I shouldn’t have done any of this, and I’m not bragging. But I do think it’s funny that I did this. It’s ridiculous. – It’s definitely funny. – It’s stupid. But I thought that, well, that’s what I said, that’s what I said. – And then he’s like, well, you shouldn’t be driving. Basically, I’m paraphrasing at this point, but, you shouldn’t be driving like that, you’re an idiot. And then that’s when I said, well, actually, and let me just say, I said it just like this, well, actually, that loud, well, actually, I’m the idiot, because I’m the one who’s driving. You should be yelling at me. And I thought that was a great tactic. But then you picked it right back up. – And I was like, because he didnt answer my question, I was like, have you never made a traffic mistake? And he said, why are you upset? Or somethin’ like. He was like, why are you so upset? Or, why are you yelling? And I’m like, and he was kind of yelling, and then I was like, I’m just matchin’ your level. (Rhett laughs) Which I guess wasn’t true. – It was– – It was true. He yelled first, right? I was just matching his level. – But that’s not the kind of thing you say in an argument like that. – I was just matchin’ your level? – I’m just matching your level, man. (Link laughs) Like, what? Like, how does, What does that accomplish? – I don’t know. Nothing. It was my reason. – I mean, what I, so– – It wasn’t a reason. – What I’ll say now, and what I said after the, I think what happened was he was like, why is this guy saying these kinds of things to me? This is not the kind of road rage argument that I typically get into. He’s questioning my past. And now he’s matching my level. And he’s pointing that out to me. You’re like, having a meta conversation in the middle of a road rage argument. – And I didn’t think I would be– – But you’re yelling while you’re doing this. – This embarrassed to talk about it later, but I thought it would be better reliving it. I thought I would– – It’s not any better. It’s worse. – I thought by this point in retelling the story, I would have found a way to be the hero. – Well– – Hey man, listen. Well, how ’bout this. – Are you relivin’ it? – I’m takin’ up for you, man. – No, I appreciate you doin’ it. Even though I don’t really feel like that’s what was happening. I think you just were feisty, and you were like, I wanna yell at this dude. I wanna see what happens, see where this goes. You like to experiment with that. You like to push people’s buttons. You’ve always been that way. And I was very entertained by it. And my tactic was to take this, you should be yelling at me, because I’m the one who did it, I’m the idiot, because I thought that was funny to say those things. Now, but then as the– – And I will admit, so, there was a part of me, maybe 50% of my motivation was– – Entertainment. – Entertainment. – Yeah, clearly. – And the other 50% was, yeah, the first thing was, I’m angry because I just don’t feel like, I feel like we should extend grace to everyone on the road. Because we’ve all been there. And it just, I don’t know, somethin’ in that honk said, I’ve never done this before. How could you do this? That was so stupid. It wasn’t life or death. – No, it was just a corrective honk. I mean, I accept the honk. I think the honk was appropriate. And I accepted it. Because I would issue a honk in that situation. I wouldn’t issue the bird. I wouldn’t unleash the bird and let it fly. I would hold it loosely if it fell out of the nest, though. But I would– – But if you then pulled up at the next intersection next to the guy– – I don’t do that. – You wouldn’t have your window rolled down. I mean, you wouldn’t be glaring at them. – I never do that. I never instigate. Because you never know if they’ve got a gun or if they’re crazy. I mean, this is Los Angeles. You just don’t, you don’t wanna mess with people. – Well, I could tell that he was generally a peaceful person. – Well, let’s (sighs), and I know why, because we talked about this, but let me just, I’ll give the people my assessment on this one, because I already gave it to you. And that was, I think that the way to handle that situation is if you want to engage– – Well, yeah, hold on. Before you say it, because it’s funny the way it came out, because it happened, and let’s say how the guy drove off, the last thing that was said, he just kind of shook his head in disbelief. And then the light turned green, he went in front of us, and he was gone, basically. And we didn’t immediately start talking about it. It took a little while. – We went a mile or so. – And then you’re like, it’s like you were deciding when would be the best time to bring up your assessment. – I thought it was a teachable moment. (both laughing) And so I said, you know, I think you could have handled that better. And here’s what I think you could have done. I think that you could have said exactly the same words, changed nothing, and just said it in this tone right here. And when someone is yelling at you, and then you’re talking to them like this, it makes them so angry. Now, I’m not saying the idea is to make them angry. But if you wanna one-up this person– – Win. – If you wanna win the argument. – That’s how you really win. – If you really wanna be entertained and win this argument– – You don’t let ’em get in your craw. – Right. – You don’t lose control. – You don’t match his level, man. That’s precisely what you don’t do. You don’t match the level. – Right, there’s no power in that. – You maintain control. And if you had said, if you had slowly rolled down your window and just kind of slyly looked over and been like, what, you’ve never made a mistake before? He would have been like (grumbles). And then he would have probably put his tail between his legs and drove off. – See, I had the right thought, but I had the wrong execution. – Well, you gotta kind of trying. – You’re exactly right. I gotta kind of trying. – You gotta keep practicing. You gotta keep practicing. – And when you said that, I was just like, (groans thoughtfully) yeah, you’re right, man. I just, I thought, I knew that I would learn something by doing it. – Or I’d get shot. – And where I will give you credit is, I wouldn’t have done it at all. – I learned so much. – I wouldn’t have rolled down the window to begin with. So, at least you rolled down the window. – But it seems like you already knew it, so I don’t know what you would have learned. You just would have felt good by gettin’ that guy’s goose. – I think maybe we could work as a tag team. And maybe you’re the one who rolls down the window, and I’m the one who does the talkin’. – It’s like, listen to him. – (laughs) Maybe. Maybe that’s the system that we need to employ. – When you told me, when you gave your assessment, first thing I thought was, back in high school, that time when I scored two goals in one soccer match with my left foot. The first and second goal I had ever scored in a soccer career, because I always played defense. I’m talkin’ even through a recreation I had never scored a goal. And in high school, here I am scoring– – [Both] Two in one game. – And I’m like, it’s like I’d just won the World Cup. I did everything but take my shirt off and skid across the– – Over the top. I just, this was like, it’s like I’d won the lottery. I mean, everyone in the stands thought that he’d probably gone berserk. – People had stopped cheering, and you were still running. – And Josh Young, who was the striker, and he scored frequently. – Yeah. – In many ways. – Yep. – He comes up to me once I go back, and we’re setting up to keep playing the game, and he’s like, you know, next time you should act like you meant to do it. – (laughs) Right, act like you’ve been there before. – It’s like, keep your cool. Act like you’ve been there, like you’re not surprised that you scored these goals. – Act like you’ve been there before. – Because if you keep your cool, then you will be cool. – Now, we’re gonna continue this in a second, because I do wanna talk about why you felt safe engaging with this guy. Which I think could get us into some pretty interesting conversation. But first we’re gonna pause to let you know that this episode is brought to you by Audible. Audible includes an unmatched selection of audio books, shows, news, comedy and more from your leading publishers, broadcasters and entertainers. – Okay, now, Audible is offering you a free audio book with a 30 day trial membership. Just go to Audible.com/EarBiscuits and browse the unmatched selection of audio programs. Download a free title and start listenin’. It’s that easy. – And now I have a recommendation, okay. This is one of the best audio books that I’ve ever listened to, for a number of reasons. It is called The War of Art. It’s by Steven Pressfield. The War of Art. This thing is, I think it’s like just shy of three hours long. So, easy road trip material. A couple of commutes or whatever, depending on where you live. – I listened to part of it with you when we were coming back for some shoot. – If you are trying to accomplish anything creative at all, and you have that, what he calls the resistance, there’s so many things that can be the resistance when you’re trying to accomplish something creative, and that’s what The War of Art is, is overcoming that resistance. And it was very, very instrumental for us. I read it. You listened to it a little bit. But we kind of applied the principles together for kind of getting through those tough creative times where you feel like you don’t have anything. And all the distractions that get in the way of creating great things. So, that is my recommendation. So, take us up on that offer at Audible.com/EarBiscuits. And if you haven’t listened before, go check out The War of Art. – And also, we are, very soon, gonna record the Audible version of our book, The Book of Mythicality. Available for pre-order, both the audio and text version, now. – That’s right. – So, go to Audible.com/EarBiscuits. That’s Audible.com/EarBiscuits. And get started today. – Okay, yeah, so, finish what you were saying about why you felt safe. Because I know where you’re going with this. – I had made my mind up that if he came by with his window rolled down, I was gonna be ready to pounce. But I felt safe doing that because he was in like a Prius that had a business plastered on the side of it. – Like a car wrap. – And it was a car wrap, and it said eco-somethin’. – Or like, green partners or something like that. It was like a– – Eco-something. – It was an ecofriendly company. – And I was like– – I mean, really, this guy is a lover, not a fighter. – Lover, not, yeah. Tree hugger, not a tree chopper. – Right. – You know. So, I felt, I assessed him and his vehicle very quickly, and was like, all right, I’m goin’ in on this. – Right. And interestingly– – And I was right, he was cool. – Okay, this is a principle that– – Not more than me. – This is a principle I’d like to dig into. And that is this idea of, you feel like you know something about someone because of the car that they drive. – Okay. – I’ve been thinking about this, because it has gotten a little personal for me. You haven’t seen this, but I am currently driving a convertible white Mustang. (laughs) – Seriously? – Yeah, and it’s not mine. I’m renting it. So, you know I was in the accident in my car, and I– – No, no, no. You can just say you wanted to rent a Mustang. You don’t have to have a reason. – Well, no. Well, I have a reason for why I was renting. But I’ll tell you exactly why I picked this car and how it makes me feel about myself. So, I was in the accident, and there was very little damage, but there was some sensor damage on the back of the car. And I think the bumper’s a little bit messed up. So it’s in the shop. And my insurance gives me an allowance for a rental car. Now, I do this on a fairly regular basis. Like, if I have to rent a car– – My wife gives me an allowance. – If my car is being worked on, or we’re traveling or whatever, when I go into the place, they’re like, what would you like? And I’m like, do you have anything interesting? Because you know me, you know my personality. My personality is– – New, shiny. – I want something that’s new. – A convertible. – I don’t wanna just get into the Chevy Malibu. You know what I’m saying? – Well, that’s interesting. That would be an interesting choice. – I wanna get into something interesting. First of all, the woman says, no lie, she’s like, we have a minivan. (laughs) So I was like, well, yeah, that would be interesting for you the think that that’s what I would think is interesting. Like, I mean, Link knows that life very well. And I’ve been in the minivan, it’s not interesting. That’s my idea of a good time, no offense. – It’s kind of anti-interesting. – Right. That’s the whole point, right? – Yeah, I mean, it’s spacious. If by interesting she means capable of hauling lots of kids. – That’s interesting. – Then that’s an interesting definition of interesting. – But she said, okay, other than that, we have a Camaro. And I was like, okay, now we’re talkin’. (Link laughs) Now we’re talkin’. I mean, all the kids that I knew in high school that drove Camaros were cool. – Well, they were interesting. – Yeah, and it was very interesting. He says, but I think you’ll actually fit better in our (clicks tongue) rag-top Mustang. And I was like, cha-ching. Yes, sir, show me the keys. So– – You were most interested in the keys? – Well, the keys are the key to starting the car. – Well, maybe it’s– – Push-button, though. – Is it a push-button? – It’s a push-button. – Okay, show me the button. – High-tech. Well, you gotta have the key fob, they call it, to hit the button. You know how cars work. Do you wanna talk about how cars work? Add that to the how podcasts work. – But you actually don’t know how cars work. – No, I don’t care how they work. – Right, I mean– – I just care if they work. (laughs) – I’m calling you on that one. So, yeah, tell me how cars work. – So, internal combustion. I mean, I could tell you. But the– – What does a carberator do? – So, I get into this convertible. And this place was just a couple of blocks from the studio, right. So, I get into the convertible. – Rag-top down already. – And he’s like, he’s in there showing me how stuff works. He’s like, do you want it down? I’m like, yeah, I’ve gotta go two blocks, but I’m gonna go two blocks in style. And so, as you can imagine, I’m a large man, I’m very tall. I have very high hair. So, I notice very quickly, as soon as I pull it out into traffic, that my hair is basically above the windshield. So, wind shear is just (blows) right there. It hits me right there, so my hair is vibrating constantly. – You think it might get sheared off? – I don’t think I’m gonna lose it, but I know that it’s gonna change the shape of my cut, you know what I mean? – Oh yeah. – I’m gonna be windblown, which could be a good thing. – You go into convenience stores, it’s gonna ruin your rep. – But I was very self-conscious about being in this white convertible. Because I was starting to think about what I would think if I saw a dude who looks like me in a white convertible with the top down. – Yeah. (laughs) – By the way, no sunglasses at the time, because I’d left ’em in the other car. – So you’re squintin’. – So I’m just, I look like a complete newb. You know, sunny California, convertible, no sunglasses, too big for the thing. – Hair– – I’m gettin’ wind-sheared constantly. – I mean, you’ve got Burbank tourist written all over you. – Okay, yeah, but here’s what I would– – Alone, you’re on a business trip. – Well, everything that I could think about what I would think about me was negative, right. It was like, this guy was in one commercial, one time. You know, that was one of the things that I what’s thinkin’. This guy was in a restless legs pharmaceutical commercial, you know, one of those things you– – Both legs? – Treats restless legs, but it gives you seizures kind of thing. – I thought it was just one leg, by the way. – Well, no, it’s restless leg syndrome, but it can be, I have it, actually, and I get it in both legs. – But you weren’t in the ad. – No, but that’s the kind of person that I looked like. A guy who has too much hair for his own good, and it’s blowing in the wind, and aw man, he looks like he could have been in a commercial one time. – You could be– – But it wasn’t a great commercial, and he doesn’t have a real career, ’cause he’s in a Mustang, and he’s in a white Mustang. And he’s in not the nice model of Mustang, he’s in the low horsepower model of Mustang that they– – Four cylinder. – That they use for rental companies. – I think you could look like the adopted son of a auto repair man, who he asked him to take the car for a spin to make sure the repairs took. – Okay, that is interesting in and of itself. – That’s what I think you are. – But this whole idea of coming to a conclusion about somebody because of the vehicle that they’re in, which, first of all, that is a– – That’s human. – Well, it’s very human. But it’s also the kind of thing that would be very difficult for a caveman to understand. You know, one day there’s going to be this thing that people will get inside of and go around, and you’re going to be able to make inferences about their lifestyle based on what they’re in. And he’s gonna be like (grunts in bewilderment), you know. He probably won’t understand any of it, ’cause he doesn’t speak English. – But what about– – But even the concept would be foreign to him. – But what about the cars that we’re actually in. I mean, does this, this should also apply to what people think of our actual vehicles. – It applies to every vehicle. Well, what I kind of concluded is like, is there anyone out there who just thinks that I’m a guy who is getting his car repaired and just wants to have a little fun? – No. – No one thinks that. – No one thinks that. – But that’s the truth. Because no one is going, because you want to think the thing that is like judging people the hardest, right. That’s the guy from the restless legs commercial. That’s the guy whose dad just worked on a vehicle and he’s making sure the repairs took, which is what your– – Yeah, I think that’s likely. – But by the way– – But nobody’s like, that’s just a dude who’s gettin’ his car worked on and asked for something interesting. – Would you feel freer, ’cause I mean, you’re gonna leave tonight, you’re gonna get in this thing, tomorrow in the broad daylight, you’re gonna pick me up at my house– – We’d be wearing sunglasses, though. – We’re gonna come in together. – Yeah. – I don’t know how I feel about that. – You want me to have the top down? – This is impacting me. – I’ve already thought about it. I’ve actually been thinking about picking you up in it. (laughs) No, I’ve been– – Oh Link, he’s gonna love this. – I actually was a little bit, the fact that I had to park on the street today, because of what they were shooting out in the parking lot, and so, I knew you didn’t see it, and I almost didn’t wanna talk about this tonight, because– – Just to surprise me. – Because I wanted to roll up into, and pick you up. – I’d be like, you bought me a convertible? – (chuckles) Yeah. And just get your– – You’d be like, no, I just rented it. – And let me tell ya, the whole riding down the highway, the freeway, at top speeds with the top down, especially with my height, especially without sunglasses– – You slumpin’? – I kind of felt like things were about to get in my eye. – You could go Sully on this thing. – It’s so loud. It’s so loud, too. – Geese could hit you. – It also makes you feel– – You’d land in the Hudson. – It makes you feel unsafe. Not because you feel like you could roll over and get your head cut off, but it’s like, the reality of these big, loud, fast machines moving all around you is really, you’re so immediate when you’re in a convertible. You know? – None of that sounds good to me. But I’m gonna withhold judgment ’til in the morning. – But it’s interesting. It is interesting. – I mean, this is southern California, man, you’ve gotta have that convertible experience. But would you feel more free if we took a sheet of paper and, with Sharpie, just wrote on it– – A rental. – My car, no, no, no, no. You can’t say rental, ’cause then it seems like you’re a tourist. You gotta say, car’s in the shop, minor damage. – Just wanted something interesting. – Just wanted something interesting that wasn’t a minivan. – Wouldn’t have picked white, but it was all they had. That’s quite a sign. – Two sheets. – It’s gonna be a piece of poster board. – We’re goin’ make two sheets to the wind. – And where do I put that? I put it on the back? – Every side. – Okay. (laughs) – I don’t think I’m gonna be comfortable riding with you unless there’s one at every angle. – I gotta put a sign on every side of the Mustang. – Well, I think we gotta wrap it. Or we could wrap the thing. And it could say like, eco-somethin’. And then it’s like, oh, I get it. – Yeah, yeah. Those guys work for– – Those guys are targets. – Those guys work for an eco company. They’re selling solar roofs to people. But okay, the funny thing is, is that this happened to me earlier this week, well, had nothing to do with the car, this was before I took the car in, and I… I was walking to my car that wasn’t yet in the shop, and I had, you know– – Which says what about you? Is that what you’re gettin’ at? – No, no. – What you’re– – No, I don’t wanna, I’m moving beyond cars. I’m getting a little bit more personal. I’m talking about attire at this point. Not a tire of a car, but clothing. And that is, okay, so, we both have these, you’re wearin’ it right now, right? The what do you call ’em? – [Both] Joggers. – Well, they’re pants with elastic at the bottom. – They’re these pants– – But do you know, I would never jog in ’em. – They’re kind of like, Bieber was wearin’ these pants like eight years ago, right? And so– – I mean, it’s, and it’s got a string. – They’re drawstring. And we actually both have a pair on right now. It’s kind of got a little bit of a drop crotch. And then you’ve got the tight calves or whatever. And there’s this fake bunching that happens. So, we both have a pair of these, and– – And I don’t like the string, because you have to move it out of the way when you go number one. I have to hold all the string. I feel like it’s like I’m gathering ducklings or something every time I’m trying to use the restroom. – Okay, well, that’s another discussion we can have. I can show you what to do with the strings. (laughs) – What do you do with the strings? (laughs) You’re like my dad. – Anyway, so– – Why you gotta be like my dad? – So, we– – This is a teachable moment. I’ll you about where to put the strings later. – So, we’ve both got a couple of pairs of these. – Just tell me where you put the strings. – And– – Just do it. – Well, I don’t gather them like ducklings. I just untie them, and then they just sort of naturally go into one hand. I just sort of grab ’em both with one hand, and then I just drop drawer. (both laughing) – Drop drawer. – And then do my business. – You had a point. – I don’t think about it that much. And I also had on one of these shirts– – You’re probably peein’ all over ’em. – I got one of these shirts that’s kind of like, it’s a longer T-shirt. – Yeah. – You know what I’m sayin’? Like, it’s longer than it probably should be, but it’s also kind of in style in some circles. And so, and then I’ve got my Jordans. You know, I got a few Air Jordan 1s that I wear. And I like– – Not braggin’. – No. – I just got ’em. – I’m walkin’ to my car. No, this isn’t about bragging. This is about being self-conscious. This is where this is going. – Right, okay. – I’m walking to my car, you know, having just said goodbye to my wife and children, 39 year old man, and I kind of just looked down at my feet, and I’m like, I got these Jordans on. I got these Bieber pants on. And I got this, really, what is like a Bieber shirt in a lot of ways. Not like Bieber now, but like Bieber a couple years ago. – Yeah. – And I’m like, what am I doing with my life? And then I’m like, what would I think of me if I saw me? And then that same exact thing again. I was like, I would be like, who was this guy that was in the restless legs commercial one time, and he made a little money, and now he went– – He’s ridin’ it. – He saw an article with Justin Bieber and it, and he saw him with some long T-shirt on, and some drop-crotch pants and the Air Jordans, and he was like, I wanna dress like that, even though I’m about to turn 40. – Yeah. – Now, I could have gone back inside and changed. But I was like, I don’t care, really. – Change into what? – Like a shorter shirt. (both laughing) Like a normal T-shirt. (Link groans thoughtfully) – Yeah. – But then it just hit me. I was like, I mean, I think I’m wearing this stuff just because I go to the places that you buy clothes, and I’m like, oh, this fits. – Well, I like fashion. – And somebody has determined that this is in style. Right? – Yeah. – And so, who am I to argue with that? I’m gonna wear that. – I’ve had this shirt that I have on right now– – A long time. – For freakin’– – At least a decade. – Let’s really think about this. Like, I remember wearin’ this shirt when we shot the pilot, the Commercial Kings. Was that 10 years ago? – No, the pilot, the Commercial Kings was– – Seven years ago. – 2010. Yeah. 2011. – I have had it 10 years. – But you’ve had it 10 years. – But it was hangin’ in a rack in there and I was cold, and I just had a T-shirt on. – Well, it’s just a plaid shirt. – Yeah, it’s gonna be okay. – But just the concept of making a choice. – But I do like being, I like buying new stuff that’s like, I like fashion, you know. You can’t fault you for that. I don’t think you’re necessarily pretending. Well, I think you are, but you wouldn’t necessarily be. But if I saw you and I didn’t know you– – It’s not pretending. It’s, you make choices to put on, you put things on your body, to put clothing on your body, because you think a certain thing about yourself, and you want other people to think a certain thing about you. – I do that every single morning. I think about what I’m gonna wear based on what I need to do and who I’m gonna see. – Well, you sound like a repair man. Like, I’m gonna go into the hole today, I got my rubber boots on. What do you mean? – Well, it’s like, I feel like, we’re just writing today, I wanna be more comfortable. I’m definitely dropping the crotch. I’m into that. – I will say that the drop-crotch is super comfortable, and I feel like it’s helping my back. So there is some functionality there. Because it’s so loose. Everything is so loose, and it’s loose around your hips and stuff. – But I’m– – It’s healthy. – I’ve got this meeting today, where I feel like I’m gonna be opinionated, and I want my opinions to matter. – So what are you gonna wear? – So I might button the top, I’m gonna wear a button shirt, and I might button the top button. – But what does butting, again, I– – Like wearing a T-shirt. – And I don’t button the top button. – I don’t wanna wear a T-shirt. – Because of what it might say about me. – Because a T-shirt’s just like (groans), a boy’ll wear a T-shirt. – A boy will wear a T-shirt. – But if a man with an opinion is gonna wear buttons. – Buttons mean business. – Buttons mean business, and the top button means a lot of business. But I better put on a hat to balance it. Because I’m not an old man meaning business, I’m a young man meaning business. I don’t necessarily think about all of those thoughts, but those are the thoughts in general that make me button up, hat up, crotch down, whatever the case may be. And sometimes I’m like, you know what, I don’t feel really happy this morning. I need to put on my happy shirt. – What? (Link laughs) You have a happy shirt? – You know that sweatshirt that has the wolf on it that looks like, the guy who came, the pizza delivery man came to the door, I opened the door, and he was like, oh– – He was mesmerized by the wolf on your shirt. – I see a snake on your shirt. – Are you now happy because of how that guy responded to it? – That made me happy. So now when I put on the shirt, it’s like, I have confidence that, I don’t know, it gives me a little confidence. – If you run into that deliver guy again, he’s gonna love this shirt. – Yeah. (laughs) That’s my happy shirt. – Yeah, yeah. I feel like I want the day to, I gotta be really extra happy today. – Now, listen, I don’t fault you. Because I’ve already explained that I do the same exact thing, you know. I am thinking about what people are going to think about me based on the clothing choices that I make. But let me just say that I think it’s kind of a little sad. Okay, and you know, you’ve got guys like, Steve Jobs was the quintessential example of this– – Like Dennis the Menace. – There are lots of really successful people who say that having an outfit, having the Dennis the Menace, every single day you wear the same thing, the reason that those people made that decision is ’cause they didn’t want to make that decision every single day, right, they– – So many important decisions to make. – It streamlines. – Right, I’ve got so many things to worry about, I’m gonna just, hey, this is what my wardrobe is. And some people might vary it up a little bit. Some people are like, I’ve got white shirts, black shirts and gray shirts, but they’re all basically the same, and I’m not making any decisions about who I’m gonna see. They just know that that’s Link, and he wears a black shirt and white pants after Labor Day. – I mean, we’ve got a friend who just wears a white T-shirt. A white V-neck T-shirt every day of his life. – Who? – Jessie. Not your wife. He wears a white T-shirt every day of his life. – He does, doesn’t he? – Think back. You’ve never seen him wear anything but a white T-shirt. – I’ve never that about that. – He has made that decision. And we know it. – You’ve hung out with him more. – I know him better than you do. – Yeah. So you’ve seen him more. – I’ve had a conversation with him about it. – And is that his reasoning? – That’s his reasoning, he streamlined it. – He doesn’t wanna make that decision. – He also doesn’t like to wear shoes or socks a lot either. Now, and I could be, you would never be that guy. You would never be the Steve Jobs, uniform guy. But I could be, right? – It really appeals to me, though. – It appeals to you? – No, okay, ’cause here’s– – I can’t think that it ever would. – No, no, no, no. No, because there’s competing forces here. – So you wanna be this guy, but you don’t– – One force is my desire for change, right. And my desire for new things. – Freshness. – Yeah. – And the other desire is my desire for doing something that I think is of benefit to me and is like, that’s a really cool idea. That’s a cool new idea. So when I heard that idea of wearing the same thing every day, that was the newness that intrigued me, right. – Yeah, yeah. – But then I was like, I can’t do that, because we shoot Good Mythical Morning. And if we happen to wear the same shirt too close between two episodes, people point it out. You know, it’s– – Well, it’s the key thing that people wanna comment on. I mean, if you wore the same thing every day, what would people comment about? Nothing, there’s nothing else to comment about. – Right, and it wouldn’t be like it was a daily show. It would be like, these guys sat down and recorded a year’s worth of shows in a couple of days. – But then it dawned on you that the freshness of experiencing a new outfit every day is more important to you than sort of efficiency. – I think that– – But I could fall for that. – But I think there is every reason, let me just say this, I think there is only good reasons for picking one outfit. It’s more economical. – Are you applying for a principal of a private school or something? – No, no, no, no. (both laughing) Yeah, this is basically, this is all– – That’s what you’re gettin’ at. – This episode has been paid for by a private school that has uniforms. – Uniform company. – And we’re trying to teach the kids that uniforms make sense. But no, there’s a reason that uniforms make sense at school. We’re not gonna get into that. But, so, you’ve got, it’s economical. That whole thing that we just talked about, this whole self-conscious thing of like, am I gonna be judged for what I’m wearing? You’d completely eliminate that, ’cause you’re like, it doesn’t matter what this guy’s got goin’ on that day, he wears exactly the same thing. It takes out that extra decision so that you have the brain power to put it in other places. But it also kind of is just sort of this, I’m making a statement that I’m not getting into this idea that I am what I externally apply to myself. – That seems healthy. – That all seems great, right? But now, but you lose some things as well. – Yeah, like, why don’t you also just shave your head? You know, don’t worry about that, I mean– – Because there’s self-expression involved in your clothing. – Absolutely. I mean, you gotta be able to express yourself. I mean, how are people gonna know that I wanna be happy today if I can never wear my happy shirt? – Well, because then, what if you just embodied your happiness in your face? – That’s stupid. – And the things that you said. – That’s crazy. – As opposed to the things that you wore. I mean, yeah, we got the hair. – Lookit, I mean, yeah. – You know, when you got, the hair is, but the hair is part of your body. It’s an extension of yourself. It’s like an animal that has, it’s like a peacock, you know what I’m saying? That’s like telling the peacock to cut his feathers off. I don’t wanna do that. The peacock cuts his feathers off, he doesn’t get to pass his genes onto the next generation. – No, it’s like tellin’ a snake, don’t keep your skin. That didn’t work, because– – No, it didn’t. But I’m not saying that if I cut you hair off, I wouldn’t be able to pass my genes to the next generation. I’ve already passed my genes to the next generation. And it had nothing to do with my hair. – Let’s just say you passed– – Because I just had, basically, a buzz when I got married. (laughs) – You made it sound like your seed was spread far and wide. I mean, you had two children. – My hair is like a dandelion. If you blow on my hair, it separates and seeds get spread. I don’t know how many children I’ve got. Beause I’ve got dandelion hair. – Okay, I’m gonna tell you how– – That’s how I reproduce. – Progeny works. You have, you’ve– – I have spores. – You have two spores, but you have not had a whole generation. – I have thousands of spores. I do. – What are we talkin’ about? – We’re talkin’ about whether or not you should wear different colored clothes every single day, and whether or not you should style your hair. I know where we’re gonna have to come down on this, because I’m not about to shave my head, and I’m not about to start wearing the same thing every day. So now we need to justify our conclusion. Because we know what we want the conclusion to be. Now we need to make it seem like it’s the right thing to do. – A form of– – That’s how life works. – Any form, yeah, (laughs) any form of… Any opportunity for self-expression is a liberty that should be granted. Subject to how it impacts other people. So, I mean, if you’re just gonna, but you should not be defined by any one particular way that you’ve expressed yourself. – But you can also choose for your form of self-expression to be that I’m going to wear the same thing every day. That’s your prerogative. – Yeah, right. – It’s worked well for a lot of people. So, what I’m gonna say is I’m going to hold out the possibility that there will come a time in which I will wear the same thing every day. One of the happiest times in my life was when I had a buzz, when I had a buzz cut. I had a buzz in like the seventh and eighth grade, a little bit of ninth grade. And then I had a– – And are you saying it was because of the buzz? Because I don’t think it had anything to do with the buzz. I don’t recall you saying, because I was there, for you every day saying, man, I just love this buzz. – But I did love– – My life is great because my hair is so short. – I loved the feeling of the wind in my hair. – I loved the– – You never told me. – Oh, I was thinkin’ it all the time. And I loved the idea of just getting up and not having to think about my hair. – I think this convertible’s messin’ with you. It’s not like– – I need to have a buzz, and I need to buy that convertible. – Yeah, a couple of weeks from now you’re not gonna have the convertible anymore, and you’re gonna have a buzz, and you’re not gonna feel any wind in any hair. And you’re gonna be like, I shouldn’t have done that. – But what I’m saying is that– – I gotta get a convertible again. – I think that my 60s are going to be defined by having a buzz, having a really, really big, bushy beard that’s completely unkempt, like a Letterman beard, like what he’s doing, and then I’m gonna have just a suit. Like, I think it’s gonna be just a onesie. And maybe I’ll pick an interesting color like yellow. You know, the guy in a the yellow onesie with the buzz and the beard. That’s gonna be my in my– – Banana dude? – Banana man in my 60s. A good 10 year span of that. I got 20 years to plan this out. I mean, that’s just kind of a starting point. Buzz, glasses. Goggles, because I’m gonna be in a convertible at all times. Goggles for eye protection. The big buzz. Banana suit. Maybe blue shoes, like blue high tops or something like that. And that’s just who I am, that’s what I do all the time. – I want long braids. – Okay. – Like, once it gets so long, and you braid it. I’m talkin’ like Willie Nelson. I think you wanna be David Letterman, and I’m pretty sure I wanna be Willie Nelson. – Okay, you want braids. – And a beard. – A short beard. A short, (Link grumbles thoughtfully) he keeps it pretty short. – He does keep it short. No, I’ll go long. – Long beard, okay. – So it’s like a Rick Ruben meets Willie Nelson. – Well, it’s kind of like a Waylon meets Willie. – Well, yes, perfect. – A Waylie. – Yes. – What’s your clothes gonna be. – (groans) Overalls, no shirt underneath. (Rhett laughs) – Except, I mean, I might have to, but I’m gonna figure out the inside of the overalls for no chafing. It’s like flannel. Not flannel, because it’s hot here. I’ll be here, but I’ll be in Malibu. – Well, by that time, 20 years from now, there’ll be some sort of– – Yeah, like cooling– – Poly fabric. – Poly fabric. – Or self-wicking. – Self-wicking. – Like a high-tech overall. – Inner lining of overalls. And by overall, I mean over all of me. – Yeah, you could probably– – With nothin’ else. – You could probably have a shirt on, actually. Like a long-sleeved shirt that’s completely clear that nobody’ll see. 20 years from now the technology’ll be out of control. – Why would I want a perfectly clear shirt? – So you always look like you’re just in a pair of overalls, but when it gets cold you’re still clothed. – You’re right, I’m cold-natured. – Yeah. – You’re lookin’ out for me. – Yeah, I thought about this. – Another teachable moment. (both laughing) So, I’m gonna wear a long-sleeved, translucent sweatshirt, overalls– – Yeah, self-wicking overalls. – And those boots that I wore to Sundance, because I’m itchin’ to wear those again. – Yeah, you need more excuses for that. – Big old boots, braids, and a Waylon beard. – Banana man and Waylie. – Yeah. – Comin’ at ya. – We know what we’re gonna look like. I mean, it’s not our prescription for you. – You can wear whatever you want. – But you can do it. And if you do it before we do it, we’re gonna be angry about it. So. – And let me just say– – Don’t do it, okay. – I do wanna be very clear that I do think that you shouldn’t just pick one thing to wear. I think at least for as long as we’re selling clothing, and hoodies, and T-shirts and other things that we sell, you should definitely– – Wear all of that. – Keep it real mixed up. You know, you’re gonna wanna wear that stuff. But when you get to your 60s, I think that’s the thing, don’t start now, but let’s just all make a commitment that when we get to our 60s, if we get to our 60s, that’s when we simplify things. You pick your suit, you pick your haircut, you pick your facial hair configuration, and you just roll with it until the end. I’ll be banana man ’til I’m in the grave. – Until the end. Through the end. Last shot, you know what I’m gonna look like. (imitates camera shutter) Take a picture. – Bury me in my translucent sweater. – (laughs) And don’t judge people based on what they wear. And keep your cool when confronting them in a traffic situation. – Yeah, don’t be like Link. – I mean, you know, you win by keeping your cool. And you are cool by just being who you are. If that means wearing the same thing every day or wearin’ something different every day. Wear that happy shirt. – Yeah, wear your happy shirt. Be happy. And we’re gonna bring ya another Ear Biscuit next week. – Monday, first thing. These things are gonna keep comin’ out. Give us your feedback on SoundCloud, in a review on iTunes, or in the comments of this YouTube video. – And remember, the video version of Ear Biscuits is always available at YouTube.com/ThisIsMythical. – Thank you for being your mythical best. – [Rhett] To watch more Ear Biscuits, click the video on the left. – [Link] To watch more from This Is Mythical, click the video on the right. – [Rhett] And don’t forget to subscribe by clickin’ the circular icon. – [Link] Thanks for bein’ your mythical best.