( rooster crows ) – ( lion roars ) Welcome back to “Good Mythical More.” 10-Word Story. This is the one where tell a 10 word story back and forth, one word at a time. – Well… – I… – just… – went… – number… – two… – in… – a… – large… – bucket. ( laughter ) – Was that 10? – “Well, I just went number two – in a large bucket.” – Wow. How– how do we do that? – We’re not counting. – Hey, we’re channeling Jim Bakker. – Okay. – And I added–the “well” is what did it. – You start with “well.” – ( laughs ) Always start with “well” in 10-Word Story. If it wasn’t “well” it was gonna be “I,” then what would have been the tenth word? I just took a number two– I would have said “Bakker” and hoped – that you said “bucket.” – Oh, okay. Okay, Link, I– we’re gonna make some– And you would have been disappointed. some apocalypse milk. But first, what is this? Oh, you want to try that and then wash it down – with apocalypse milk? – Yeah. That is the… basically, marinara with pasta. And I will note that when Kevin set this down a second ago, I said, “That looks good,” and he went, ( grunts ). ( crew laughs ) As if, “You just wait until you eat it.” And that’s right, Rhett did say “Kevin.” – The guy singing… – ( chuckles ) now works for us over there. Yeah, we hired him during the wheel video. Not as good as the soup. Actually might be a little better than the soup. It’s amazing where the flavor goes. – Away. – Well, it’s not just that. Initially, you just think, “I’m eating…” – This. – “what I think I’m eating.” – Right. – And then… now it tastes like I just, I ate some– I put my mouth on, like, a piece of equipment. – You know what I’m saying? – Yeah. It’s like I put my mouth on an air conditioner for 17 minutes. That’s what my mouth tastes like. How do they do that? It’s actually kind of cool, Jim. I mean, Jim doesn’t make it. Again, his name’s not even on the bucket. He just sells it. He uses fear, to sell somebody else’s bucket, – That’s quite a concept. – which he makes a big cut off of. – Quiet a concept. – You know, fear is a great marketing tool. He’s not the first or the last to use it. – Um… – Well, because I have, I don’t have any of the Jim Bakker buckets, but I have– and I got some for you as well, uh, I got a couple of buckets at home. Just in case, you know. – They’re square buckets. – I went with, uh… Mountain House– is that what we said it was? – Mountain House. – Yeah. Uh, not an endorsement for them, but they got the best reviews on Amazon, and, uh– He didn’t tell you the full name, though. The full name is Jim Bakker’s Mountain House, – which we also frequent. – Well.. yeah. – He’s got a hot tub. – I went to Jim Bakker’s Mountain House, and we were both in the hot tub together. – Oh, gosh! – Oh! What are you doing? – And I said, “Jim–” – You can’t lose powder in the apocalypse, man. ( chuckles ) Yeah. You gotta use all of the freaking powder. Yeah, you gotta have scissors in the apocalypse. Should’ve had scissors. You’ve powdered your crotch… – So what you’re gonna do– – …with our milk. Yeah, you’re gonna do this, too. Take your warm water which is your small dealio. Yeah. You’re gonna take two tablespoons of your powder, your milk. Oh… And you– golly. I’m doing something wrong, Jim. Sorry, Jim, hate to disappoint you. Take two of those. And you’re gonna mix it in the warm, – and then you’re gonna… – So, this is apocalypse milk, huh? You said two of these? I did say two of those. And then you’re gonna take your chilled water… …and go till wherever you’re satisfied. “Go to wherever you’re satisfied.” Jim Bakker’s Mountain House is the only place that I’m satisfied. ( chuckles ) Oh, gosh. It sounds real bad. The views– the views are amazing. Yeah, the views. I mean, I thought– It smells like a medical clinic. When I first heard– which you frequent as well. When I first heard “apocalypse milk,” I was thinking that it was gonna be fortified with other things like Soylent, but you’re just talking about powdered milk. Yeah, ’cause, I mean, liquid milk is not gonna make it that long. But this, this powder– – But I thought it would have– – it stays good for 20 years. 20 years! – What was that? I couldn’t hear. – 20 years! How do they know that, though? But when will you break it out and start using it? Uh, any time in the next 20 years. Wrong answer. The correct answer is… ♪ End times ♪ ( laughter ) Okay, I’m fully mixed over here. You might be overmixing. Pretty sure you are. Dink it… and apocalyp-drink it. Huh. That’s not that bad. It’d be better if it was chilled, but that can’t happen in the apocalypse. – Yeah. – This is how you drink it. – It’s not bad. – So many things that we take for granted right now, you won’t have any more. Ice. – Mm. – Think about it. – Internet. – If somebody figures out how to make ice– I mean, first of all, for a few years, there will be people with like, generators. Right. You’ll be watching the show. Someone very well could be watching this episode during the apocalypse via some sort of, like– not through the internet, but they’ve compiled, or they stored locally all of our episodes. They saved it to their phones. Which I highly recommend in your apocalypse kit– – We could get you– – Let’s keep a hard drive of this show. We can get you through a– probably… a couple– we probably have a couple of weeks’ worth of content at this point. Maybe more than that. And because we’re saying it right now– – That’ll keep you alive. – it’s happening. And… in the future, which is your now, greetings to you. Good for you making it this far in the apocalypse, and thanks for bringing us along. – Of course, I’m dead. – ( crew laughs ) – I’m long gone. – Yeah, and I’m currently enveloped in a pig carcass that I have made into a suit of armor, and, uh, I have a collection of human baby femurs… – ( crew laughs ) – just around my neck. – And then I– – Baby what? Baby femurs, human baby femurs. It’s what I said the first time. Human? It’s human babies that have, uh, not been willing to submit to me. ( crew laughs ) And my rule. And I have carved all my teeth into points, and, uh, I have tattooed the whites of my eyes red. Like I said, I’m dead. Uh, and I’m very happy for it. – You know? – Yeah. You hung on for a while. But then when I started carving my teeth, – you were like– – I remembered this moment. – ( chuckles ) – I remembered this milk, – and I remembered this story. – Yeah. And I was like, “I know where this is going.” – Mm-hmm. – I’m out. – I’m out. – Yeah, yeah, yeah. I subsist 100% on… apocalypse milk, at this point. Now, I actually– – this is a little bit– – Your farts are horrible. This is weird. I have it inserted into a dead cow, and I actually squeeze the udders into my own mouth because it intimidates the entire village. And they’re like, “I cannot believe he drinks this milk directly from a dead cow.” – And I’m like– here’s the– – It’s a farce. Yeah, the whole thing is, when I go back to my room, I take off the pig carcass, I take off the baby bones, I spit up the milk, and I go back to my regular self, because it’s all an act just to get people to… just stay in line, you know? And then I’m like, “I gotta go back out there and drink out of this dead cow again.” Do you have a squire for, like, putting it in the carcass? You were the squire for a while. I was not. I was not, I will not. I refuse. Well, now it’s Chase. – And, uh… – ( crew laughs ) He’s holding up pretty well. He’s doing… yeah, yeah. Every day at 4:00… we kiss on the lips. ( crew laughs ) Again, it’s to show our dominance. To each other? Rhett: He dresses as a prince. You’ve seen it. Oh! – Fun times, the end times. – Yeah. – You’re gonna love it. – ♪ Ooh, ooh ♪