(rooster crowing) (lion growling) (wood clanking) – You got a little nail polish right on your cheek there. – Welcome to Good Mythical MORE. – Gifticality! – Whooh! (hands clapping) – That means we’re donating $1,000.00 to GiveDirectly to aid in their mission to electronically provide cash directly to those in need. Please join us in giving at GiveDirectly.org. Take the middleman out of giving. – Did you know that you can– Wait, is it still on there? – Yeah right– Well, I just kinda spread it around now. – Ya know, can we use that pigs feet sausage to get this off my face? I wanna be in it’s presence again. I was just joking! – I mean, I think it’s good for now. You can get it more off later. – I feel like my face is now chapped where ya did that. – Chapped? – I feel like ya chapped my face with your finger. – Well, you’re a little too sensitive. – We’re gonna eat somethin’ else guys. – And this one sounds like it’s gonna be good. – What does it sound like? ‘Cause I haven’t heard. – I just heard Long John Silver’s. – It’s no rat-worst. – When’s that last time you ate at Long John Silver? – All right, decade or more. – If I have ever eaten at Long John Silver, it was once. – But it’s a– But it’s a fast-food place that serves fried fish products. I mean that’s not, it can’t be that bad. – Fish. – Is it bad? – Uh, so I don’t know if the sausage is bad and I haven’t tasted any of the Long John Silver’s. But I will say, when I went there– So there’s only two in like a 30 mile radius. And I only went up to the one in Pacoima. And this is not an inditement against Long John Silver’s or the Yum Corporation. – It sounds like it’s probably – Or Pacoima – Or Pacoima, I love Pacoima. This is the second time we name-dropped Pacoima on this show. You can talk about how much goat stew I like to eat in that fine city. – I called it Pacoima for the longest time. – Really? It’s French. Anyways, I got the Long John Silver’s and I put it in my car. And as I was on the freeway I noticed a smell. And it was one of the worst smells I ever smelled. Like old oil, rancid fish and a little hint of gasoline. And I physically pulled off the freeway. Put it in my trunk and started Febrezing down my car. – What? – So– – Like a dead body? – Yeah. It was legitimately– – That was coming just the food you got there? – Yes. So anyways, also you notice it’s in a KFC bucket because it’s in a hybrid KFC/Long John Silver’s. They only have KFC branding. So if I had to guess, not many people are ordering the fish there. – Long John Silver gotta jump on the colonel’s back in order to stay afloat? – Yeah. – Dang! – Dang man! – He’s not havin’ a great time. – The freakin’ colonel’s doggy paddlin’. He’s goin’ under. – We don’t know if the Gorton’s Fisherman– – You gotta lose John man. – Gorton is thriving. I love me some Gortons. – Gorton is strong. – Yeah. – But Gorton has not ventured outside of the – His sticks are crunchy! frozen food section. – Gorton don’t need to. Gorton’s happy where Gorton is. – In the rain? – Maybe the Long John Silver’s need to go – Gorton– back into the frozen section. – If it rains, what happens to Gorton? – Well, I mean he’s got his whole yellow slicker on. – Nothin’! – Nothin’ happens to Gorton. – Impermeable! – He might get a little bit, a little bit wet. – His face might damp. – His face might get damp. – But other than that– – What happens to the colonel? – Gorton’s unscathed. – The colonel’s incredible quaff just completely disintegrates in the rain. – The colonel is very vulnerable. We gotta protect the colonel. Gotta get John off his back, man. – I think that John lets him use his hood though. – John is a freakin’ leech, man. – Yeah, but if John is on the colonels back when it starts raining, the colonel doesn’t get wet. And that’s why the colonel is letting Long John Silver ride him on the back (laughing). – That’s right. (woman shushing) The colonel is a genius. – [Woman] Hold on guys, hold on. (low rumbling) – Oh, the whole place is shakin’. – Oh is this the earthquake? – Big one! – It’s a helicopter. – Cleanse us of our sins. (laughing) – I mean, dang man. So you’re telling me you got back here. Opened your trunk, took this crap out of it and made a sausage? – Ah, so, no. I wanted to keep this separate because I wanted to save all this. So you could try it plain. I actually made my own fish and shrimp sausage. Then beer-battered it and then put some of those toppings– – You bailed on it. – Yeah – That’s (laughing) great. – Yes, I mean, you know I’ve stood over the venting lid– – Thank you, man on an instant pot with just pig anus in it. – Yeah, right. – And let it go into my nasal cavity and I’m fine. And I had to pull off the freeway in Arleta, yeah, Arleta! – I used to call it Arletta. – You’re real dumb (laughing). (laughing) So uh, yeah, here’s a plethora of condiments. The only thing Long John Silver’s branded are the tartar sauce and malt vinegar. – Yeah. I use the hot sauce from KFC and the malt vinegar from Long John. – He sounds like a pirate. Is he a pirate? – Yeah! Hell, he’s got a body count. He killed tons of people. But now he make rancid fish (laughing) in Pacoima. – But it’s the only place that’s doing what he’s doing. And why can’t they be the place that’s doin’ it right? I feel like we could resurrect this place. – Guys you know what? Yeah, I think you got good instincts to make this positive because we– They’re an easy target. We can’t sit here and crap on Long John Silver’s. – Yeah, it’s like crappin’ on– – We gotta pull him up. – Yeah. – We gotta rescue ‘im. We gotta get ‘im outta the rain and dry ‘im off. – I’ll eat a shrimp in his honor. (food crunching) Oh no. (distant laughing) – Well, I’ll see how bad that is. But first I’m gonna try your sausage. – [Josh] It tastes like pennies. – I’ve tasted pennies. (distant laughter) – It tastes like how it smelled. – Why’s that so dark? – Ah, it’s spices. I made it in like a feral panic after I brought this home. I was like, I don’t know if I can serve– I just fed you nail polish and I was like, I don’t know– – He’s a good man. – That I can serve you this. I was that effected by it. – This is very good, man. – It is good! (chewing food) – Yeah I’d never seen just like a battered and fried sausage before, let alone a shrimp – So hold on– and fish one. – I think I just– I think I just understood. This is great. – Yeah. – You didn’t go through all this trouble and do everything you said in order to protect us. You did it so that we would say that it’s great. – I think that by protecting myself (laughing), I protect all of us. – And you know what, you deserve it. – Thank you. – Do it for yourself, man. This is great! – Now, but put that– We gotta give the John a chance. – We gotta take– – Lemme grab a fish. – Get John to start makin’ these. It’ll pull ‘im up by his raincoat. – His rubber boots. – It’s crispy. I’ll say Del Taco makes a fine fried fish. – Oh yeah? – When it’s fish taco season and Del Taco, I’m there. – Way to go Josh. (crunching food) You’ve outdone yourself again. – [Announcer] Mythical wristbands in assorted colors. Now available at mythical.com. Collect ’em all.