Welcome to “Good Mythical More.” Sometimes things are so cute, they get creepy and we’re gonna decide. But first, we’re gonna give you a random disturbing fact. Bus seats are designed with those ugly colorful patterns to distract your eye from how filthy the seat is. Yep, it’s true. True. That’s not the game. When designing the seat’s patterns, complex mind-reading algorithms are used to create an illusion that tricks your eyes into focusing on the pattern and its colors rather than the stains the seats have accrued from the thousands of booties that sit on them each day. Some people got dirty booties, y’all. When we were buying a couch, we had this conversation. This is the TV room couch, so we gotta figure out is it gonna get a lot of crap on it. Oh, I thought you bought a used couch. No. Wanted one that would distract people from all the nasty that would accumulate on it. It’s a medium tone gray. Yeah, we didn’t choose the right thing. Well, because most bodily fluids end up drying in sort of a gray scale. That’s exactly what Christy said, you know? All right, Stevie, hit us with something cute, ’cause we gotta tell if it’s creepy. Okay, I’m gonna give you two cute things in a versus situation. Oh, yes. And you have to decide which one is scarier. Hit that button there on that switch, please. So we’re gonna start with Furby versus- Just push anything, it won’t hurt anything. Tickle Me Elmo. I mean, the Furby with its simulated sentient-ocity definitely makes that thing creepy. Yeah, but there was- There’s a reason why we’ve been trying to kill them for years. There’s some things that happened with the whole Tickle Me Elmo though. I mean, I don’t recall exactly what happened. Yeah, and we’ve tried to kill him too. Yeah, well, I don’t think you know what I’m talking about. Oh, you’re talking about- Yeah, the voice. I’m not talking about the TV show. Well, you can’t hold that against Elmo himself. I do though. I cannot help it. The Furby is creepier. I mean, it just is, look at those eyes. I mean, the sentience is an issue for me, I agree. Sentience. You know what I think it is? It’s because you have the power to make Tickle Me Elmo talk- Yes. But Furby just don’t really know when it’s gonna happen. Yep. No control. Twins versus- Twins, twins! Babies that stare. Twins. I’m sorry, twins. Twins? You know what, I mean, I love you. Actually I gotta say, I typically love twins as much as I would love one of them. You just distribute. I distribute it half between the two and if it’s triplets, it’s a third. Yeah. I’ve never been friends with quadruplets, but I can only imagine it would be a quarter. I think that’s what their parents do too and that’s why they end up so creepy. So you cannot direct- You’re ready for one- As much as love towards two people who essentially the same as you can towards one person. Especially if you were only geared up for one, right? It’s impossible scientifically. Right. Oh, crap, my expectations now have to be doubled or tripled? We have ruined some twins’ days. I want to say that that was a joke. I love twins so much. The thing that I don’t like about twins is that they make the think of the womb. They make me think of how DNA works. Twins or babies? Twins. Okay, that makes sense. Why do twins make you think of the womb? I think of how procreation happens and the DNA of it all and the number of sperms and the logistics of it all and how it’s twisted. It creeps me out. Even how it works creeps me out. It’s an aberration. You mean sex? No, the fertilization of two eggs, or is it one egg and then it splits? It could be either. It depends on if they are fraternal twins or identical twins. Yeah, and I think they’re all creepy. My step-dad was a fraternal twin. You’re saying it seems like something went wrong? Look nothing alike. Yeah, ’cause it was two distinct eggs. Right, so it just seemed a little more wrong because it was like, we’re twins but you don’t know it unless we tell you. So it’s like we’re keeping something from you. Do you think that fraternal twins should be obligated to say that or should they just be like, this is my brother, this is my sister. I think you gotta say it. Why? Why you gotta say it? Full disclosure. It’s starting a relationship on a lie. ‘Cause you’re saying, we’re not actually just normal brothers and sisters, something went wrong. Is that what you’re saying? Something out of the ordinary happened. I wouldn’t say it’s wrong. I don’t think anything went wrong, I think it’s double the love, or triple the love, or quadruple the love. If you’re in one of those situations where you got five, that’s gonna be a tough life. We’re choosing the twins, Stevie. Okay. The thing that’s creepy about babies who stare is the conversations that you have to have kind of to them but to their parents that are with them it’s like when people have dogs and you’re like talking to the dog, but you’re half talking to the people and it’s very awkward. I hate that. And when I find myself doing it, I just hate myself. Oh, we’re gonna have to leave pretty soon, but it was great to hang out with you. I just don’t talk to them. I just bypass that. Yeah. I’m like, until you can talk back to me, you don’t get any talking. And I know that’s how they learn how to talk is people talking at them, but I let others worry about that. I get scared. I don’t have to be part of that plan. I start to think things like- I don’t have to do everything. I wanna be in good enough health that I can enjoy my grandkids when they’re no longer babies. This is getting really depressing. I’m afraid of what Granddaddy Link… How he’s gonna treat a newborn. I think we all know what Granddaddy Link is gonna be like. Stop staring. You’re not a twin, are you? If Granddaddy Link ends up having grand kids who are twins, I think you just have to pick one to focus all your love on. Once they go to school. Once they’re school age. Bring them by when they’re school age. Listen, I’ll spend time with one of them, but listen, don’t drive me crazy now, just give me one and do whatever you want to with the other one. Squirrels versus raccoons. Matter of fact, ’cause we’re not done with twins and newborn babies. Okay. I’m gonna tell Christy, if one of our kids has twins, don’t even tell me, just tell me it’s one and just keep swapping them out. That’s a good idea. Do like a “Full House” scenario with me. It’s like, man, this baby never gives up. It’s always coming around, twice as often as it should. I’m looking forward to being a grandparent. I just wanna say if you are a twin magician who went to community college and you still are a fan of us, thank you. How do you do it, I don’t know. Thank you. I thought you were just gonna say the promo that we need to say right now. How about that, you know what we’re doing tomorrow freaking night? Oh, crap, this? We’re doing “Good Mythical Evening,” y’all. It is a one night only, ticketed live event. We’re gonna be unrestricted, we’re gonna be uncensored, we’re gonna be doing all kinds of stuff that adults and even if you’re a twin, as long as you’re an adult, you’re welcome to join. Twin adults. But I do believe you both have to get your own ticket if you’re twins. It’s gonna be nothing like a “Good Mythical Morning” episode okay, this is “Good Mythical Evening,” and you can still get tickets at GoodMythicalEvening.com. Squirrel versus a raccoon? Anything special about them? No, I don’t think they’re twins or anything. That raccoon looks especially cute in this picture. But have you seen a raccoon walk? Have you seen how they walk? Well, they can jump and attack. I’ve watched “Elf” many times. They eat dog food, they take their little human hands and they eat like little baby humans. But they don’t shove nuts in their mouth. Yeah, yeah. In their cheeks and stuff. Which one would you rather just have on the table right here. I love that. A squirrel, man. A raccoon can hurt you. Yeah, so a raccoon’s creepier. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It has a mask on. Yeah, it’s up to no good. Raccoon is creepier. Okay. Definitively. Chase versus Davin. Oh crap, look at that, in the same shot. Are we judging it by this picture or are we just judging it by our interactions with them? Be honest, be honest, man. Yeah, don’t hold back, just let them have it? Let it rip. Just let it rip. Now are they twins? That’s the first question I’ve got. I mean, let’s start with saying some good things about them. All right. They’re both cute, right? Yeah, I would say they’re both cute. I would go as far as to say that both Chase and Davin are what might be described as chipper. Chipper? You know what I’m saying? There’s some people who are chipper. Yeah, they’re both- There’s some people that you might see first thing in the morning and you’d be like, not especially chipper. But I think they both are especially chipper. Mm-hmm. One of them is more eager than the other. Mm-hmm, definitely. One of them has been here longer than the other. Uh huh, yeah. One of them wears glasses. Which one would you like to be trapped with more? I think that’s the question. Let’s just say like an elevator breaks and it’s not gonna be fixed for at least 48 hours, you’re both gonna end up peeing and pooping in there. You’re gonna end up sleeping. Who would you rather be with in that situation? It’s tough. I’d love to watch them together in an elevator. Okay, well is that an option? Can we just put them in an elevator together for two days and that’s our answer. Make that its own channel. I mean, Chase likes to creep around our office and put his nude bits on our stuff. That’s creepy. I don’t appreciate that. Davin has never done that. Well, he’s never filmed himself doing that. Oh, really? Yeah, I mean, you don’t know. Davin, have you ever put your nude bits on stuff in our office and it wasn’t part of a video? I have not. Okay, good. It sounded genuine. I think you see that leather couch and you’re like, I just wanna put a nude bit on it, you know, it’s like something about putting flesh on flesh. I’m gonna choose- Now that you’ve said that I’m saying Chase is creepier. Yeah, I think Chase is creepier, yep. Yeah, it’s scarier, but yeah, creepier too. How you feel about that, Davin? This whole time. I feel great. Chase isn’t here. Okay, one more, Teletubbies versus Barney. Oh dang, you did it. Teletubs- Wasn’t there something legitimately creepy about the Barney man? I feel like there was. Yeah, I think it’s the same guy who played Elmo. Is it just one guy in the suit? He got around. I think that’s part of the creepy part. Well, you know what people do out of their suits is their own business. I just don’t feel like if you’re a tantric sex therapist out of your suit, then that’s your thing. It sounds interesting to me. I’m not taking points off for that. The way that the Teletubbies carry themselves. They don’t actually speak, right, they just make noises. It’s really strange. It’s really scary. And the sun talks. Nothing is scarier than the Teletubbies when it comes to- Yeah, and there’s four of them. It’s like quadruplets. Yeah. Yeah, Teletubbies, this is easy. Barney’s inviting. He’s like, have tantric sex with me. I love you, you love me. I don’t know what Barney’s voice is. What is it? I love you. Who am I doing right now? That’s somebody else. Bullwinkle. H.R. Pufnstuf. That’s Bullwinkle. Hey Rocky, you heard about Barney, he’s into tantric sex. I don’t know what Barney sounds like. I didn’t think that was sex at all actually. It’s like almost sex. Right, which is what? It’s like to the point of almost- “Good Mythical Evening.” Evening, yeah, tomorrow night we’ll talk about that. We’re just getting worked up, you work yourself into a lather too and we’ll meet you there, slip right between our hands. Tickets on sale now for “Good Mythical Evening” the live mature audiences only event happening on October 28th. Get yours at GoodMythicalEvening.com.