Channel: Good Mythical More
YouTube Video ID: vheQgocsk7M
Episode Post Date: January 9, 2026
Episode Number: 2955
Transcript
We're reading your best and worst first date stories. Welcome to Good Mythical More. You Mythical Beasts have had some first dates and you sent in a short story about, uh, each of them. Some are good, some are bad. We're gonna hear them and tell you if it's gonna be okay or if it's not. Let's see. Now I've been told. We had all kinds of genders and identities and sexualities who, who submitted their stories, uh, for this More. Okay, great. And then what, what, what would, you know, uh, but I'm, I'm looking at a page of she/hers , uh, dating men stories, because those are apparently because we're interesting. Yeah, that's what I was gonna say. Yeah. Um, so our first one comes from. And forgive me if I butcher your name. Teresa Ann Uh, who says I was 22 at the time, met a guy in the army. He showed up to pick me up with a flat tire, asked me to follow him to the gas station to get air. Yep. He pulled out a screwdriver to start the truck and I wound up changing his tire because he didn't know how. There was no second date. If you can start your truck with a screwdriver, it seems like you should be able to change the tire. Yeah. I mean, isn't that dad magic? Hmm. Yeah, there's, right, there's, there's, there's a, a lot to, to chew on here. I mean, first of all, army, I would think being in the military, changing a tire, it was like part, part of the deal, right? That happens. Yeah. It doesn't add up here. Um, doesn't add up. Okay. Maybe he's making sure his girl knows how to change a tire, so it's kinda like a test. Yes. Go. That's go. Stupid idea. Go there. You. But it could be true. I would not do that. Hey, we, we just met. Why don't you change my tire? Let's see what you're made of. Nope. Not gonna, not gonna work. Now if you two we're faced with the flat tire Yeah. How would, how would that go down? This is a great question because Thank you. Um, I have. I, I would say less than 10 times, but a good amount of times in my life since my teen years changed the tire without, you know, incident by, by myself. Uh, but I have, I've only done it one time in Los Angeles and I did it in my own driveway because I was taking the tire off to plug the tire. It yourself. Huh? I plugged it myself because I was like, you could take this to a shop. Or like, I went through a little phase where I thought I would do things like that. Mm-hmm. And then, and it actually, it worked. I plugged it and it was kind of easy, but because you buy the thing and it's, it's got the worm and you doubled the worm back, stick in and the twist and then you pull out. Does it come with the tool that you stick it in? The twist, the kit. The kit comes with the tool. The kit comes with all that. It's pretty straightforward. And then you cut it. You cut it off now, but. Just the other day I was on the highway and I saw someone changing their tire and I thought, this is what I would not do. No. People texting people can't drive. Oh no. Yeah, and I've got, I've got Triple A. Oh yeah. You know what I'm saying? Like I don't think that there is a scenario in which I would change my own tire now because I pay like a yearly fee for somebody to show up and do it. Yesterday I dealt with this, oh, tell me more. You've been sitting on that one. Like Chase sits on a Pringle. I know. Well, I wanted you to, I wanted you, I wanted to hear from you. Okay. The, uh, Lincoln's car came back from the shop and they pulled it into the driveway. I found this great shop. They drove it back. I didn't have to pick it up. Yes. But then the tire was flat. Mm-hmm. And, but they had already left and I wasn't sending it back to that place. I got a place at the bottom of the hill. Bottom of the hill place. I have this, um, inflator. I highly recommend. Owning. You can just air compressor. You can just get a little air compressor that will inflate your, your balls and your bike tires and your, your car tire. I was suspicious if it would, um, inflate an entire car tire from completely flat. I got one built into my car. Well, that's fancy and I wouldn't, you know. Well, no, it's, it's an off-road vehicle, like, and you got an air air compressor built in. That's pretty cool. I haven't used it yet. I pumped it up. And then I immediately took it down the hill and Christie followed me and I just left it there for, for them to deal with it. Even though it was in my driveway, I wasn't gonna know your limits. I think that So, so sorry. You put air in the tire in order to drive it down the street so someone else could fix it? Yeah. Okay. Because it was gonna leak. I just wanted to, it was gonna leak again because it had a, so the last time you changed a tire Oh. Not in this town 15 years ago, not in this town. He says I could certainly do it if I had to, but I was actually, uh, I was proud of Locke this year when he, um, called me from college and he was like, dad, a lot of phone calls start like that. Dad. Dad. And I don't necessarily know it's gonna be a problem. A lot of times it is. Lily will do that, but it'll be a text and it'll just say, dad, like literally the same thing, but just the text story and you know something's coming. Yeah. Say, oh God, he said, uh, I have a flat tire on my car. What do I do? And so I was like, well, you can figure out how to change the tire. And I did say in, in the conversation, I was like. I feel a little bit like a failure as a father because this feels like the kind of thing that we should have like set aside an afternoon. Yeah. And gone out in the yard and been like, Hey, we're gonna teach you how to change a tire because it's something you need to know how to do. Um, but then he said, you know what? I probably have a friend who knows how to do it. And I was like, yeah, you probably do have a friend who knows how to do it. Later that night I texted him and I said, okay. Did you figure it out? And he said, yeah, I watched your YouTube video and I did it myself. There you go. And I was like, yeah, you did. Because anything, we didn't have those, you didn't even know how to do is there, it's like we had to find some, we had to find somebody back in 1996. You know what I mean? That's right. And uh. I wonder if it was the, you know, the dad on YouTube that, uh, that teaches people how to do dad things. I wonder if that's the video he watched. Oh, yeah. And he was just sitting there going, oh man, I'm so glad I have a dad on the internet. You know, replacement dad on the Yeah. Dad on the internet. An internet dad that could teach. Not an internet dad. Yeah. Yeah. What is that guy called? Yeah, like, fix it dad or something. I don't know. I back to Therese Ann though. My thing is like, I think that if this guy. Had like a really great sense of humor and was really generous and was like. This is so ridiculous that this is happening to me and like I'm so embarrassed that I can't do this and thank you so much. And what can I, you know, like there, there, if there's details to this, it wouldn't be that big of a deal if you have the right personality to take this raw material of misfortune and turn it into endearing experience. But he didn't. He didn't. So we agree with you. Uh, Olivia says, when I was in high school, I went on a date with a guy that I'd like for years. He invites me to go to five guys with him, the burger place, but he has a severe peanut allergy. But he told me him and his dad go all the time and he's fine. As long as he doesn't touch the peanuts that they have out we eat and everything is fine, but towards the end of the date, he literally goes into anaphylaxis. I had to pick him up and drive him to the hospital down the road, and I was only 15 and we never went out again. 15. You saved his life. That's a great first date story. That's That's what you need, that you'll be telling that it's your 50th anniversary. Yeah. This man, you know, gave you something. What? He gave you a great story. This is the best. Yeah. Alright, so now we have a pattern of women who don't like men who need to be saved. Yeah. Isn't that all men? Yikes. Yikes. Isn't that all men? Mm-hmm. Um, didn't, don't y'all like to fix men? I think this guy, he, he did this. To create an opportunity for her, and she fully took advantage of it. I mean, you have mission accomplished. You have his very life to hang over his head, right? For the rest of his life. I mean, let's look at the fact pattern. I mean, pattern here. He's got a peanut allergy, he goes to five guys. This is clearly all premeditated. This is called purposeful anaphylaxis. Mm-hmm. You know PA. Yep. And I'm trying to combine gaslighting and anaphylaxis. Phylaxis an anga. Okay, Olivia, you missed out. There's nothing like someone owing you their life. For the rest of their life. I mean, there, it doesn't get better than that. Now there is a, you know, some people wanna be with somebody, uh, that can kind of pull their own weight and that will be a problem solver, not a problem creator. But then there are those that are like, I kind of want somebody who's gonna gimme something interesting and throw me a curve ball every day. And maybe Olivia just didn't need the curve balls. These are both very much like. This is how I met my husband. You won't believe it. He went into shock and I had to take him, you know what I mean? Like exactly best story ever. Yeah. Um, okay. This Mythical Beast did not leave their name, but said, went on a date with a grown man that got so drunk I had to help him get into his house. When I got him to his couch, he started having an asthma attack. I rummaged through it as quick as I could, trying to find an inhaler when I couldn't find it and I was about to call 9 1 1. He stops pretending to not be able to breathe and goes, I just wanted to make sure you cared and had a heart. Oh my God. Oh, okay. Okay. Alright. And get you into my house on my couch. Okay. Strike one, two, and three. So we're already pretty deep in the strikes. Oh wow. This is, uh, okay. I appreciate the creativity here. Uh, but I will say that this is not how you find out if someone cares or has a heart, like willing to help someone currently dying is a pretty low threshold. Is it not? Yes. Right. Which also says a lot about his like, um, empathetic barometer. Empathy barometer. Also, the first line is that he was so drunk that she had to help him get into his house. Yeah. Right. Is that not enough of the, I already forgot about that Exactly. On the other hand, homeowner. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, well, okay. I, I'm, I guess I'm, I'm sorry. On behalf of all men, I'm sorry that one of us did this, uh, men, now you didn't, you did not say that there was not a second date. But I assume that there wasn't and good for you. Yes. Okay. Let's see if the theme continues here. Uh. Danced with a cute guy at a club. Exchange numbers to set up real date. I arrive at the restaurant, he's already seated, so I join him. He asked to hold my hand while I look at the menu. Weird, but kind of cute. So we hold hands, give the server our orders, drinks arrive, and he doesn't want to give me back my hand. Okay? So awkwardly keep holding his hand and taking sips of my drink. Okay? The food arrives and I think surely he'll release my hand from his grip of death. He does not. Food is on the table and hot. So I try eating it with one hand. The conversation is bad. He's boring. And worst of all, won't let me eat with both hands. A criminal offense, I excuse myself to the washroom. Run out the back door of the kitchen and run out on a date for the first and only time. Good work. Just a, just abandoning him. Oh my gosh, great. What in the hell are we thinking guys? What in the world is happening to us? I'm taking full responsibility as just, you know, for the whole species. Yeah. This is on us. I will take one issue with Olivia. I mean, not letting me eat with both hands a criminal offense. I don't think it's a criminal offense because you don't need to write a law for something so stupid that no one would ever do it right. I, I see what you're saying there. I understand the logic. This is hard to believe. I mean, please hold my hand forever. I don't, here's the thing. I, I can't come up with anything to like, take up for this guy. Here's one of the things that I have noticed in just like discourse. I don't pay much attention to it, but I see enough people talk just because I'm not, you know, I've been married for almost 25 years, so I don't need any advice in this area, but the, like what to do on a date and like how you're supposed, like what you're, what men think men should do in order to impress women or in order to, to allow, yeah. It seems like he like read a book or, yeah, it's so. Anytime I have had the misfortune of stumbling upon a man, giving this type of advice, and then out of curiosity and sort of like train wreck, looking at Uhhuh situation, I might keep it going on my, my algorithm. Yes, it's without. Any exception over the past 10 years. It's always bad advice. It's always like, this is a guy that ne has never tried this, who has just gone into his room and come up with an idea that he then goes and charges money to other guys and tells them things and then they, it goes into their brains and it gets all mixed up and it comes out as. Hold her hand, but don't let go throughout the entire meal, even if the food comes. I, yeah, I gave him too much credit with re read a book that said it. You are definitely right. It was like an Instagram reel or a TikTok and the guy was like, no matter what, you're gonna wanna hold her hand. Whole thing. You don't just, just use your, like if you just went on a date and you were like. You know what? I'm just gonna kind of use common sense, and I'm not gonna be thinking about some book I read or some video I watched. I guarantee you, you would not hold her hand while she ate. You just wouldn't come up with that on your own. Yeah. So this exit strategy, um, running out, yeah. I guess this is something that people need to have, they need to know how to do this on any type of date. Right. You gotta, you gotta know where the, you gotta know the nearest hidden exit. Yeah. This is why it's great to have Uber. I'm gonna talk to Lily about this. That's unclear though. 'cause she says. Um, he doesn't want to give me back my hand and I think surely he will release my hand. Did she say, let go of my hand, please. Or I I need my hand. Doesn't it sound like it? Or, you know what I mean? So to me it's like if she said, Hey, can I have my hand back? Or I wanna stop holding hands in Any or any of those things, and he didn't like, that is crazy behavior. Oh yeah. Yeah. That's psychopath. If she didn't say any of that and then she was like. I'm gonna escape out the back. It's like, I mean, the man read a book, you know, like, um, just when in doubt, voice it go out. That's what I think. You're just, you're thinking about Lily. Yeah. When in doubt. Get out. Yeah. Okay. This is, and, and don't, you know if somebody's doing something weird, the flip side of that is like, you don't wanna be confrontational, so you might make a joke about it. It's like, you know. It's kind of hard to eat with just one hand. Yeah. So maybe like that. Yeah. And then if there's nothing, but yeah, so saying something, but. Okay, this is from Rachel who says, a man picked me up in his bright purple Mustang. Okay. Alright. He's starting off on the right foot listening to his own band in the car. Yeah. Trying to look cool. Talk. Hey, you gotta, you gotta be a self-advocate about how expensive his car was. He took me to dinner and proceeded to tell me how he was offended. I only ordered an app for my meal. I wasn't very hungry and it sounded the best, and then put a stack of money on the table. Insisted, insisting money wasn't a problem. He later tried to take down a walk in the park. Where he fell and rolled his ankle. I found out later he was married, and I'm happy it ended at that horrible first date. All right, this one started strong. You know, he's in a band. He's got a bright purple. I mean, purple is my favorite color right now. Mustang can't go wrong there. Uh, he's got lots of money and he, and he makes sure, you know, uh, what could go wrong, walk in the park. Great idea. I mean, a man can't help. He steps on a little uneven pavement, you know, being already married. Yeah. Okay. That okay. That's a red flag. I mean with, so, I mean so many things, it's like it is, I know hindsight is 2020, but, and I'm certainly not blaming Rachel, but I do want to ask the question, is there a feedback loop that then you can learn how to. Assess on a, a deeper level before you, you're in a one-on-one environment with somebody who's just off their rocker. I listen. What's the vetting process these days? Um, I think that it's, uh, I don't know. I, I've heard, I've heard, I think it's tough, scary, dude. I think it's tough to find a good man. Nice. That's what I hear. I hear it's tough to find a good man and, uh, and so people are like, well, I gotta start somewhere. And then you start figuring out bright purple Mustang. Okay. In a band, I like music. This is starting to make me think that I need to hire like a, like a reverse private investigator. Like a, a tail, a public investigator. Well, yeah. More like a, um, a security guard. At a distance, somebody who's following my kids on their dates so that when things go wi, when the money's on the table and the band is, the self bla band is blaring from the Mustang. Like you got someone who can extricate. Have you, have you met Lily before? I don't know if you think she is gonna stand. For any of that crap. I'm feeling this way for a second. She is. She's the first one to say something in a funny way, I'm sure. And then what happens? These people are crazy. I'm scared she, she doesn't get in the bright purple Mustang. Yeah, I think that, I mean, I don't know. I don't know anything about get being the purple mustard being. But now Lando, we need to Lando, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's too nice. He's He's so nice. He's a delight. That maybe we need to Yeah, yeah, yeah. That, that's a problem. Tell me, this is why send Lily as a tail. This is why I say and tell me where this is this, this advice is wrong. This is why I just think that getting to know people via date is just not a great thing. Like keep it online. No, I'm just saying that. Do things with people that you like and, and, and, but also not just like, just your friends, but like do things that you are interested in where people are like working on the same types of causes that you're into where there's like groups of people and sort of mix company who are doing like of course, you know, oh yeah. This was, this was all built into the way that we came up and we were like, what we were involved with. So it's just like. You were constantly around a bunch of people your age who believed in the same things and the same causes that you, so it made it super easy. And that's where we met both of our wives, Uhhuh. But that kind of exists for everybody, I think. And then you're like, oh, I see this guy in this setting. He's, it's not, he's not holding my hand in his purple Mustang. I just combined two dates. I know, but I'm seeing he's not being weird on his own. Maybe he won't be weird with me. I'm seeing being a person in life, and I'm getting an idea of like. Yeah, whether or not he's somebody that would be interested in his level of responsibility, his level of, uh, psychopathy, and then you can kind of make a decision if you want to like have a conversation. Is that not a better way to do things? I think that's called only dating vloggers. What? Please help us understand how you got there. You know, you, because I'm talking about joining a club, you can learn a lot about somebody by watching their vlogs. Okay, I think that's a horrible idea and completely counter what I just said. Get the Mythical outdoor blanket as a third degree monthly member by January 31st at Mythical society.com.