Puppy monkey baby. Trevor, come on. Puppy monkey baby. Not doing it. Puppy monkey baby. Not doing it. Puppy monkey baby. What up? It’s your boy, Josh, A.K.A the gourmet grease boy, A.K.A. MC MSG, A.K.A., Puppy Monkey Baby, Puppy Monkey Baby, Puppy Monkey Baby, Puppy Monkey Baby, Puppy Monkey Baby, and it’s that time again. Time to take two iconic snacks, smash them together, and see what sort of beautiful snack baby we can create. Now, we asked you which two snacks you wanna see smashed together, and you said. Doritos and Mountain Dew. Will the snack be a smash? Find out, ’cause this is Snack Smash. Trevor, we gotta make Dorito Mountain Dew, ’cause we really do, because this a kind of war between us and PepsiCo and Frito-Lay, three equally-sized companies with equal power in the world. First, can you start chopping up those vegetables? I think we’re gonna get ’em in slices, we’re gonna get those dehydrating. I’ll tell you why in a second. So, Frito-Lay and PepsiCo come out with Mountain Dew-flavored Doritos, and everyone thought it was us. Everyone tagged us in it. They go, wow, cool Snack Smash, but no, it was a real product, so you are taking jobs out of Trevor’s children’s mouths. I have kids? I don’t know, I assume. You have a very fatherly energy. What? And then we figured we would go ahead and do Dorito-flavored Mountain Dew because we think that’s hilarious, and I think it could be really delicious in a very strange way. But then, we found out that they had actually tested that out on select college campuses back in the mid-2000s to much failure. They called it Dewitos. So, right now, what we’re doing, this is a spite job. This is a good old fashioned spite cook. Oh, that’s good, because this sounds really bad, so I wasn’t really sure why we were making it. No, no, no, well, their version was really bad, which is why it failed, and why it never caught on. They didn’t even create, like, real packaging for it because, what I imagine they did is, they just took the Dorito powder and mixed it with, you know, a Mountain Dew syrup, put that in a soda, which is why we’re chopping fresh vegetables, because, Trevor, we’re going deep on this, man. We’re gonna take all the flavors of Doritos and Mountain Dew, and we’re gonna try and infuse them into an artisanal tea that we’re then going to clarify and strain, and carbonate, and I just There’s no way on this planet that this snack is gonna be a smash. You’re a gamer, you like Mountain Dew, right? Here’s the thing, Josh. When you told me that we were gonna be making Dorito Mountain Dew, I knew why you picked me, because I am a gamer, and every single 720 YY no-scope crane shot that I’ve hit in my life has led to this moment, so. Well, imagine, I mean, this Dorito tea is the 720 YY no-scope head shot triple kickflip. You got there. We’re getting red bell pepper in there because, Doritos, the red flecks that come in it are the paprika, and then paprika’s just dehydrated bell pepper, so we’re gonna dehydrate our own bell pepper. And then oranges. Oranges are actually the main flavor of Mountain Dew. Mountain Dew has two main flavors in it, you have oranges and chemicals. Yeah. And so, yeah, yeah. There actually is a fair amount of orange juice in Mountain Dew, and so we’re gonna try and sort of, like, construct all these flavors out of these fresh ingredients, and get it into a tea, carbonate it, and then make our own very citric acid-heavy syrup into it, but then, we’re also gonna try and do the version that we believe that Doritos did with that, and see which is better, ’cause I think this artisanal version, I think this is a game changer. Trevor. This is supposed to be the better version? You spent all your life gaming, you don’t have the triceps to cut the cheese. The cheese is really hard to cut. Can you tell me what the deal is with Mountain Dew and gamers? ‘Cause, like, I would grow up going to Howie’s Game Shack to play “Battlefield 2,” and my name was Hebrew Hammer, and I would troll through the tunnels with a shotgun, and I remember someone on a message board was like, man, when you see Hebrew Hammer coming, and you hear that shotgun blast, you just know you’re done for, and I was like, god, I feel the power. Aw, a scram fried 280 no-shot head scope right in the tuchus. I’m trying to bring Yiddish into the gaming community. I think it really was just because Mountain Dew always had, like, a lot of, like, gamer-focused, like, campaigns that they were doing. They would always partner with “Call of Duty,” and be like, you could find this code underneath your bottle cap, and I think that was kinda what it was. They just did a lot of branding with gaming companies. I’d like to see the word soggy incorporated more into the gaming community. Like, that shot was soggy. I like it, I say it all the time. People never know what I’m talking about though. So, we’re gonna take this stuff, we’re gonna shove it into the dehydrator. We got all these flavors that are inside Doritos. We got the cheddar, we got the lime for the citric acid, we got the jalapeno for the spice, we got the garlic, we got the paprika, got the oranges. Eh, how to do it? You just gotta slide it in, Josh. I know, but we’re trying to show them. No, but just, like, slide it in. You don’t just slide it. You know, you gotta prime the pump. No, but just, like, slide it in. Gotta prime the pump first, dude. Like you’re hitting a crazy cross-map tomahawk. What are you talking about? What? Tactical nuke. Yeah, that’s a thing. I am so afraid of aging, falling out of touch. Fun fact, that is actually why we hired Trevor. He’s sort of like my Gen Z spiritual adviser. And you can yeet that. He said to say that. They say that. If Josh is afraid of losing touch with younger generations, then he might as well throw in the towel, ’cause he’s already lost touch. When I was recovering from my hernia surgery, fun fact, I had an inguinal hernia. That’s when your intestinal lining kinda squeezes through to your epididymitis, and I got the surgery for it, and I was recovering, so I wanted to find a video game to really jump into, and I was like, I love “Call of Duty” story mode. I bought a “Call of Duty” for $60, and I was like, where’s the story mode? Turns out, it’s only online, and so I played six games where I finished dead last in all of them, and people made fun of me, and then I stopped, and then I sat there, and I read books like an idiot. I’m more of a “Valorant” guy. Play a little bit of “League of Legends,” which is a MOBA, or multiplayer online battle arena, if you’re not familiar. “Pokemon Snap.” You take pictures of the Pokemon. What? You take pictures of Pokemon. Pokemon don’t exist, Josh. Yes, they do. You can eat Pokemon. Oh. All right, hear me say this very clearly. I will cook and eat any Pokemon out there. I know some of them are just, like, a tree, or a magnet with eyes, but I will cook and eat that magnet with eyes. I know some of them look human. Talking about Mr. Mime and Jinx. They are not, they are Pokemon, they are here for food. Pokemon are food. One of the Pokemon is just eggs. It’s not even one egg, it’s, like, four eggs. So we just got two inside, duderon. We’re gonna let it run for 12 hours at 150 degrees until all this stuff is dehydrated, and then we’re gonna make our tea. Yay. Why are you not excited? Yay. Come on, come on, Trevor, why are you not excited? Come on. Sorry. How does this turn on? Trevor, we got all of the stuff, we got all our dehydrated stuff. Take that out, we’re gonna pop it into this pot, and we’re gonna put this on high, and then we’re gonna get our Dorito tea going, and then we’re gonna make a separate syrup. And I know what you’re probably wondering, Trevor. What is this all for? Where do we go when we die? What is our purpose on this- Why are we still here? Just to suffer. It’s a video game thing. I don’t get it, I laugh because I’m uncomfortable. Put all this in the water. We’re making the Dorito tea, and then we have to make the syrup separately, and that’s because we’re gonna SodaStream the tea first, because this is all aromatics, so it shouldn’t explode. Can you legally call this tea? This is tea. Find out on the podcast whether this gross thing that we’re making is technically a tea, ’cause I think it is. This doesn’t have any leaves in it. Well, no, but, I mean, we’re taking, like, aromatics, which, that’s what tea is, right? You’re taking, like, herbal leaves. Leaves. Whatnot. Yeah, well look, these are like little cheese leaves. So, they’re going to steep separately because, if you try and carbonate sugary and/or salty, which, this is gonna be both, liquid, it will explode your SodaStream. Ask me how I know that. How do you know this? I exploded my SodaStream and almost killed my cat once. So, I had a SodaStream, and I really love my SodaStream, and I was trying to carbonate Gatorade ’cause I thought that would be a nice, fizzy, refreshing flavor. However, when you carbonate things that are already sweet and salty, as Gatorade is, it turns them into a rocket projectile, and it turns out, when that rocket projectile shoots out of your SodaStream and explodes, sometimes, your cat, Kevin, is walking by the flight path, and then it smacks him right in the side, and he goes and then you spend about 20 minutes trying to get him out from underneath the couch, but then he bites you, and then you start Googling cat scratch fever, and you’re worried that you might die. Sorry, Kevin the cat, if you’re watching this. We got a lot of sugar in there. Why don’t you like Mountain Dew? I don’t know, I prefer Diet Coke. Oh, the amount of Diet Coke that we drink in this house. Yeah. Oh. We drink a lot of Diet Coke. Take down a large panda. I think that Diet Coke could take down a large panda. I was skeptical at first when Josh said it, but there is so much chemicals in there, and pandas are very gentle creatures, and I think, as soon as a panda ingested Diet Coke, it would just be down for the count. I put a little bit of MSG in there because that’s a flavor that you really get from Doritos. We need a bunch of, like, nuclear orange food dye in there because that’s the color of this bad boy. So we’re gonna bring this tea up, we’re gonna get it boiling, steep it for about… Why? Why do you keep laughing when calling it tea? This is tea. That’s not tea. Starbucks would bottle this. This is Starbucks’ next big invention. All right. Do you think this is gonna work? I have never made soda before, I’ve never used a SodaStream before. Okay, I’m up to three liters of fizzy water a day. The SodaStream budget is getting out of control. I burp constantly. Yeah, oh, I know, I know. Aw, you’re here, you’re here. I eat bananas, and then I drink a liter of fizzy water in the morning, and they somehow react to just explode out of three ends of my body. Anyways, we’re getting this tea steeping. I’m gonna leave that for about an hour to infuse everything. It’s so greasy. Yeah, what I didn’t take into account is that the cheese is gonna leech a lot of fat in there, but maybe, like, you know, I’ve had drinks, right? Like, take, like, lamb fat, and you wash a whiskey glass with it, and that infuses with the liquor and the fat makes it travel differently across the palate. I think we’re gonna do that with our cheese fat Dorito Mountain Dew soda. Puppy monkey baby. Trevor, come on. Puppy monkey baby. Not doing it. Puppy monkey baby. Not doing it. Puppy monkey baby. It was a commercial for- I know, I saw the commercial. It creeped me out then, and it creeps me out now when you’re doing it. When you make eye contact, it makes it creepy. Puppy monkey baby, puppy monkey baby, puppy monkey baby. We need to get some orange zest in here, ’cause I wanna get all that orange-y Mountain Dew flavor into this thing. It’s really gonna go a long way. Just get, like, zest half an orange in here. We’re gonna try and, like, make what I imagine Dewitos did. This is what I imagine the failure version was. Then I’m gonna start getting out our syrup. We’re basically gonna make a Dorito copycat seasoning, and then we’re gonna make just a very corn syrup-heavy mixture that’s gonna go into there. Do we have two whole oranges for that amount of zest? No, we need the juice. Oh, cool, so I get to squeeze these? Where’s the juice? That’s a reference that predates Trevor. Pauly Shore. Yeah, we got the old timers laughing, they know Pauly Shore. I gotta give him homework. He’s gotta watch the “Son in Law,” he’s gotta watch “In the Army Now,” he’s gotta watch freakin’ “Bio-Dome.” Are you kidding me? “Bio-Dome.” You wanna watch “Encino Man” with me tonight? On Zoom? That’s good. I don’t know what that is. You don’t know what “Encino Man” is? Brendan Fraser’s a freaking caveman, bro. The earliest I know Brendan Fraser from is- Don’t say “The Mummy.” “The Mummy.” Golly. As long as you didn’t say Tom Cruise is the original “Mummy,” that’s all I care about. We have three solid mid-Millennials with me, V, and Nicole all at about the same age, and then you have Trevor, who is, I think, about 16 years old. I think he actually faked his documentation to get this job, which I really respect. So, we all look to him for guidance. We can tell him things like, you know, corporate communication, but then he can tell us what a 360 YY no scope means, and somehow, in this job, both are equally important. What a weird world. We’re gonna add cheddar powder in there. So we’re gonna try and make just, like, a Dorito copycat seasoning, right? We’re gonna take a little bit of tomato powder in here. The flavors of Dorito. Honestly, like, that’s kinda what it is. It’s, like, paprika, chile powder, cheddar, onion, garlic, that’s in everything, and then a whole lot of salt, MSG, and citric acid, which a lot of people don’t realize, Doritos are, like, deceptively sour. You can tell ’cause, like… Do that too. Drop our citry assy in there. Citry assy. And then we’re gonna take a little bit of sugar just to round it. I just wanna make sure we get the spicing right. You’ve gotta put these in. I’m gonna try and kinda waterfall it. Precise cooking. Put, like, a tea, not a teaspoon, like a half teaspoon of malted extract in there. Got your Dorito fingers. Yeah, that’s good, that’s just gonna absorb some of this fat from the cheddar, which we are not getting the benefit of in our homemade Dorito tea. Could you explain to me what the YY means? And 720. What is going on? It tastes like Doritos. Trevor, taste it. I don’t know what happened to the spice grinder. It’s stupid because, like, it doesn’t matter the amounts that you really add. As long as you have the core of these flavors, it tastes like Doritos. So, the 720 YY no scope crane shot, it’s from a map on “Modern Warfare 2,” and essentially, what you do is, you would go up on this crane, and then you would jump off of the crane, and you would do a 720, so it’s two full circles around, and the YY was at the end. Before you hit the no scope, you hit YY on the controller, and Y is the button to switch the gun, and so you would switch to your other weapon, but you’d do it really fast, so you would, like, put away your sniper, and then, like, get it back out really quick, and it looked cool. Uh-huh. I am incredibly intimidated by gamers. There is a small contingent of nine-year-old Chileans that I play “Rocket League” with who seem to really not like me or my play style, and every time I get on, they bully me, and I have to quit the game. All right, so, this is a little chunky. How do we get the chunks out? You wanna run it through the spice grinder that works? I don’t know if we should use the spice grinder anymore. What happened, do you think? Let’s just kinda dumpy, dumpy. Does this lock? Well, no, it’s spitting it out again. There’s a hole in our spice grinder, dear Liza. Speaking of design to fail. We got our Dorito syrup. I think, if we’re just gonna keep whisking this, we should taste it though. I got some spoons in my pocky. That looks so chunky. Try it, eat the chunky syrup. Oh, it’s hot. Gosh darn if that ain’t Dorito syrup though. Yeah, no, no one likes it. Imagine this going into fizzy water. Like, that’s all that salt from the cheese, all those aromatics, and then just a lot of citric acid. It tastes like onions. It tastes like onions. Doritos taste like onions, I don’t know what to tell you. So we got this Dorito syrup, man, I’m just gonna run this through a strainer just to sorta get the chunks of cheese out of the soda syrup, and then, now, we gotta actually get to soda-fying. Eh, Trevor no likey. I’m sorry, was that a? I didn’t mean to, like, insult. Trevor is baby. Many of you might know this. For those who are implying that Trevor is not baby, I take personal offense to that, because, anyone who knows the Mythical Kitchen universe, Trevor is indeed baby, and that is very important to us. Just no, you’re, come on, just, you made a face. He made a face, you saw it. Puppy monkey baby, does this cheer you up? Puppy monkey baby, Trevor. ♪ Eat Quiznos subs ♪ ♪ They are good ♪ What? The old Quiznos commercial. This is, like, the hamsters. Morgan and I understand each other. Hey, Trevor, try this gross Dorito tea. Let’s see what this is tasting like. We got a fair amount of cheese fat in it, which I don’t love, but I’m neutral about now. Whoa, that’s bizarre. That is so bitter. Bitter is one of the tastes that is bad, and there are other tastes that is good, like syrup that’s gonna go into this, so let’s leave judgment for now. That was painfully bitter. I stand by the cooking method. I’m gonna take this, and we’re gonna dump it into a coffee filter so, hopefully, the coffee filter sorta gets some of that fat out. You can see, it’s actually sort of clarifying. The liquid that went in there is a lot cloudier than this, I don’t wanna say what that looks like. But yeah, that’s looking good, that’s looking good. So we’re sort of clarifying this. Hopefully, the fat’s gonna come out, and then, now, we need to take this. What? What? I needed to feel the consistency. So, I’m gonna take this. Just, can I just, like… Screw you guys. Does that not need to be plugged in? No, dude, the SodaStream, so, you just plug in a C02 canister right into the thing, and then it’s just, work. You gotta jam. Yeah, you gotta mash it. There we go, there we go, there we go. I don’t have the fancy version where you, like, set the thing, so I gotta do it manually, so I’m gonna do about five pumps. I’m-a go one, two, three. Why are you doing that when you do it? Puppy monkey baby. So, now, you take it. So, now, it’s bubbly. Is it bubbly enough? One more, one more. How do we get the flavor in there? We gotta add it ourselves. We’re gonna take this, and then, now, we’re just gonna take. That’s the bad Pepsi knockoff, right? Yeah, so, well, implying that one of these is bad and one of these is good, as we’ve seen, is now a little bit more difficult, because we don’t know, maybe Doritos Mountain Dew, maybe it’s a bridge too far. This is for the gamers, Josh. This is for the gamers, all of you out there. The gamers can do anything. I can’t believe that this is impossible. Oh, god, oh, look at it, it’s fizzing. That’s crazy. Ah. Whoa. Oh, god. So, now, I’m just gonna pour this in here ’cause we gotta decant it. You know, you really wanna let it breathe like you would, like, a nice Beaujolais, you know? Wanna open it, get some airflow into there, and so, now get a lot of onion fizz in my mouth. So, we gotta get this liquid, here, give it a little, spoon it. Oh, god. Trevor, you keep doing that. I’m gonna rinse out the SodaStream bottle. Trevor, I don’t think it’s gonna be great. Why did I come here? Trevor, put the funnel in here. This is not the color that I thought Dorito tea would be. So. Oh, gosh, oh, okay. What are you doing? I don’t know, I thought this would work, I thought it would work, I thought it would work. Trevor, we need more Dorito tea. Does it have to be filled to that line? Yeah, yeah, it’s gotta get to the fill line. We just, we’re here, all the cheese is in there. We can sorta mash it. I don’t know anymore, man, I don’t know anymore. You’re juicing. Yeah, we gotta juice the tea by hand now. Today, I learned from Josh that he will go to extensive bounds in order to make someone feel extremely uncomfortable while he’s cooking with them in the kitchen. My hands are moisturized from the cheese fat. Can’t we just fill it, like, up with water? Yeah, we should probably fill the rest with water, but I wanna get as much flavor out of there as possible. You’re spilling half of it on the counter. Yeah, this wasn’t a good idea. Why’s this funnel so small? It’s not my fault. And a little nipple, a little, tiny funnel nipple. What? I learned from Trevor today that there is an entire ecosystem out there of gamers that I may never understand. I respect your lifestyle, and one day, I may dabble in it, but I understand it’s a hidden universe that I would like to be brought into, and I’m hoping that Trevor can show me that through his little goblins with their fire magic, or whatever he does. What does he play? I don’t know. Show me your goblin fire magic, gamers. Trevor, when your buddy Snipe Dog and Fart Pants, or whatever, I don’t know what gamers call each other. My name was Hebrew Hammer. When they’re out there in the trenches in “CoD,” you know, and they’re worried about a tactical nuke 320 no scope with a double XY, do you say, do we have to be here? No, you say, boys, dual wield those energy swords, and get to slapping. You’re right, let’s do it. Let’s do this, come on. Let’s go, gamer juice. Gamer juice. Oh, god, it’s so much cheese fat. This is gonna explode. Emma, this is coming right in your groin, brother. I see the line of shot, just the way Trevor sees a “CoD” snipes. What? I don’t know. Oh, god, uh-oh. Oh, god. Uh, ah. It might shoot out. I’m gonna aim it. Okay. So, then, what you do, we got our Dorito tea that’s been carbonated. We’ve got a little bit of product loss here. So gross. What we’re gonna do, we’ll get a little Croix, we’ll put some La Croix in there. Look at all the shleem. There’s some shleem. Look at all the shleem on the- And then I’m just gonna take a whole bunch of that syrup, and give it the old one two, and Doritos Mountain Dew. Trevor, oh my god, we did it. I know everything was a disaster in the buildup, but everything is always kind of a disaster in the buildup here, and we tend to make some pretty good things. I built all the flavor palaces in my mind, and they’re working together. I know it’s an outside shot. I know no one believed in me except for everyone else that did, but I do believe this’ll be a smash. Trevor, are you ready to taste these Snack Smashes? Yeah. Let’s go to the table that we bought. Trevor, do it for me, man. Puppy monkey baby, puppy monkey baby. Cut to the packaging. All right, Trevor, here, we have the original PepsiCo version that already failed, and then we have our awesome artisanal version that we- Why are you laughing? ‘Cause you said awesome like this is gonna be good. Keep your judgments inside until we taste it, because it might be awesome. Let’s try the original. It’s not particularly pleasant, but we went through the extra effort to make this from scratch, and I think it’s gonna be something. It’s got a film on top of it. The film on top is flavor. That’s flavor film. Cheers to gamers. To gamers. This is for you. Mm. Mm, mm, mm. Mm. That puts some hair in you. It has flavor. Hair on you giblets. All right, Trevor, withhold your judgment. We have to decide if this smashes or passes, right? The original PepsiCo version, that’s already passed, but how does ours do? We’re gonna pick up our patented smash or pass paddles, and we’re gonna give it a one, two, three, and then we’re gonna show what we think, all right? Okay. Trevor, on three, one, two, three. This is smash. Smash. This is smash. Like, here’s the thing. Smash. This is actually shockingly good. There’s some chunks at the top, and I will say, we need to figure out how to get those down in our industrialization process. Yeah, but, honestly, it actually does have a fruity flavor. It’s a little bit bitter. It’s a little bitter, but I think the bitterness gets rounded out by all that citric acid, and it’s, like, the essence of cheese. It’s the essence of all of those, like, chilies, and cheese, and that little bit of orange. Like, it tastes like Mountain Dew with, like, the scent of Doritos. It’s actually a pretty spectacular flavor match in a very weird way. I enjoy it. You know what else is bitter? Hm? The cold fields of war that gamers go out to every day online, okay? This is for you, gamers. We did this for you. What a save. That’s what the teens yell at me in “Rocket League.” Trevor, thank you so much for being a part of this, and thank you for representing all of gamer-kind out there, and thank you so much for stopping by the Mythical Kitchen. We got new episodes out for you every week, we got new episodes of our podcast “A Hot Dog is a Sandwich” out every Wednesday wherever you get your podcasts. Hit us up on Instagram @mythicalkitchen with pictures of your mythical dishes under #dreamsbecomefood, and keep hitting that 720 double YY wrist flip no scope, baby, woo. Get as messy as you want in your kitchen when you have the Mythical Kitchen towel, available now at mythical.com.