All right. Tortilla is getting nice and crispy. Ew. Ew. Just as Victorian England was a hotbed for mustachioed serial killers, the internet has become a hotbed for a different kind of of crime, a food crime. The world wide web has hosted some downright abominable food creations, and today we’re taking a trip down to TikTok land. Pilk! Pilk! Yeah it’s that old stuff. This is Pepsi milk. I personally don’t think this is a food crime, but the rest of the world does. And Nicole is certainly disgusted by it, and disgusted by me. Will this be a food crime or a gosh darn good time? Find out ’cause this is- Food crime. This is… Give me a high five. Oh is that what you’re… I thought you were just doing like a Statue of Liberty pose. No, high five, up here. I’m just gonna be here then. Up here, up here. I don’t know. I think this is just better as a pose. One, two, three, yeah. Ah. Oh. It tastes like cheese. Gross. I grew up drinking pilk except we called it a brown cow. My mom’s from South Africa, and I don’t know if that has anything to do with it or if that was just a weird… My dad’s just kinda like, you know, I don’t know, a white boomer guy. I don’t know who invented pilk, but I used to actually drink this, and I consider it quite a treat. So, I think I have the home field advantage in this battle, because I know pilk more than anybody. I’ve drank gallons of pilk. I have seen things through the lens of pilk that you couldn’t possibly imagine. Oh God, it’s such a thick burp ’cause of the milk. Is he gonna be making those noises this whole time? I’m starting with pilk cheese. That’s right, we’re making pilko fresco right now. And the way we’re gonna do that, queso fresco is typically made without rennet, which is an enzyme found in like a calf’s stomach that’s typically used in cheese production, but you can also cuddle cheese just using acid. What has acid? Good old Pepsi. This already sounds absolutely disgusting. And so what I’m gonna do is I’m gonna take my milk and I’m gonna add this to a pot right now. There we go. And then we’re gonna use the acid in the Pepsi to actually form cheese curds and then wow, what does queso fresco go great on but tacos? Oh, Josh, making tacos again? Oh! I know Nicole’s sitting in there. And she’s like, “Oh so original, Josh is making tacos.” I bet Josh is making something like carnitas. “Looking at the rest of this, I bet he’s making carnitas. I bet he’s making pilknitas.” And Nicole would be absolutely correct. Oh. So, while that’s going on, I’m gonna make my pilknitas. And the reason I’m making pilknitas is because in a lot of carnitas recipes, you will actually find both like Coca-Cola which, you know, “Is Pepsi okay?” No, Pepsi’s not okay. Actually, it’s fine. It’s no Coke, but it is a Pepsi. But you’ll find both Cola and milk that go into carnitas sometimes. So the way that all good caritas starts is with a whole bunch of pig lard. Oh God, it’s looks… Well I gotta go hands. It makes sense what he’s doing. That’s cold lard. Oh! Big old brick of lard’s going in there. Ooh, looks like a basketball. And then now we have our pork shoulder. Carnitas is typically made with the whole animal, but if you use skin on pork belly, and then some nice like leaner pork shoulder, you’re gonna get some good combination of like meaty bites and then like jiggly, fatty, skinny bites, which is very good. Yeah, I need more milk. Trevor, pour me another pilk. Line it up. Trevor? What? More pilk, pilk me. Pilk me, daddy. Ooh. Sometimes Josh’s noises make me gag. If you wanna get real fancy with your pilk, you drink it through a cinnamon straw. I shouldn’t put that back in there. He’s so unhinged, this man. We’re gonna add a cinnamon stick just for some flavor, and then we’re adding some habanero for heat. I didn’t even turn the pan on, man. We’re gonna throw this in the oven anyway. So I don’t know why it’s on there. So we got our habaneros. We got our pork in there. I’m gonna give it a nice liberal salting. No conservative salting, only liberal salting. You want to almost give it like a nice salt cure while it’s slowly cooking in its own fat and then just gonna tuck some onions in there. Sounds pretty good so far. The habanero is a nice touch. So this is an Italian dish, right? Maiale al Latte. I’ve made this before, milk-braised pork. The milk is going to turn into milk solids in there, and then the Pepsi is just to add a little bit of sweetness, but when this cooks with the hot fat, it’s gonna create little caramely bits that are actually gonna stick to the pork, on that. He needs to stop. The thick burps are back. Oh! Josh’s bodily functions need to be checked out by science. He is an anomaly. That one stayed inside. Oh my god. And a little bit of milk. So this is all just gonna sit and swim for like three, four hours. The pork’s gonna get nice and jiggly. I have a fair amount of milk and Pepsi flavor in there. We’re gonna let this cheese come to 170 degrees. Let’s see where we’re at right now. Eventually we’ll see curds forming. So I think a ton of pilk flavor’s gonna come through in this. I’m gonna force the pilk in there whether you like it or not. The pilk cheese should have some strong Pepsi flavor. Oh, dude, we’re there. All right that’s great. So, now instead of using rennet, like I said, we are using salt and a little bit of apple cider vinegar just to add some more acid in there if the Pepsi doesn’t give you enough acid. Yeah, you see the curds start to form already. So now we’re gonna take off the heat. Beautiful, Look at that nice curdled pilk. We’re getting somewhere! We’re gonna let that sit right now. Let the curds continue to form, Stir it up, chop at these carnitas, make a salsa, and then we’re gonna beat Nicole. What’s Nicole making? Is it really gonna taste good? Hey, what are you doing on October 28th and 29th? Because I know what I’ll be doin’. I’m gonna be at Mythicon. That’s right! Mythical is throwing its first ever convention in Austin, Texas. Tickets go on sale officially on June 10th, but Second and Third Degree Society members get early access to tickets starting tomorrow. Everything else you wanna know is over at mythicontickets.com So, go check it out. It’s gonna be a really incredible time. All the kitcheneers are gonna be there. We’re gonna be doing live podcasts. We’re gonna be doing meet and greets. We have some special guest appearance by huge name celebs. Pitbull’s gonna be there. We couldn’t get Pitbull. We couldn’t get Pitbull, but all your favorite Mythical people are gonna be there. We’re doing some really fun events here in Austin, Texas, land of barbecue. I’m gonna be slamming beers the whole time. I’m gonna make a custom hat and custom boots, ’cause I am worth it. But really, come out. It’s gonna be super, super fun. We got our pilk carnitas over here. I’m just gonna start lifting some pork out. There we go. Here, I’ll get some fat in there ’cause I’m gonna toast my tortilla in it. Here we go. You got all of this- That looks gorgeous. I mean, look at this piece of pork belly, man. The skin on it is just so jiggly and gelatinous. You got that nice tender meat right there. Looks pretty good. I’m gonna start hacking up these carnitas. Look at how freaking jiggly and delightful that is. I love it! Pretty good job, Josh. You’re still goin down! We got our carnitas all hacked up. What we’re gonna do now, I like to squeeze some fresh lime over it, kind of give it a nice little toss, and then I’m also gonna also add… Where’d the little bottle of Pepsi syrup go? I got some reduced Pepsi syrup. We took some Pepsi and we just really put it in a pan until it turned into a syrup. So we’re adding a little bit of that. What’s this? Salt. What is that? It’s salt. It’s just salt? Yes! Am I having a stroke? Probably, I’ll drive you to the hospital like I do every freakin’ week. I’m gonna add a little bit of salt to this too, just to get some on the inside, and then, let’s give it a taste. So let’s give it a taste. Can I have a nub? I want a nub. Gimme a nub, Josh. Come on, gimme a nub. Pretty freaking good. Wait, I want a little bit more jiggly skin. Yeah, just the skin. There we go. Just the skin. We took the curds that you saw, and then we put ’em inside a cheesecloth, and then we let that actually hang overnight just over our sink to compress and turn into hard pilk cheese. So let’s just slice this open and then we’re gonna kinda get our nugget of… We really do a lot of BS in this kitchen. And look at this. Look at this. It’s so great. Well, should I taste it or should I just let it go? Taste it you sicko. Taste it you mad man. You can’t be proud of yourself. Wait. Ew! Uh-oh No way. That is really good. You’re not getting a ton of Pepsi. I will say what you’re getting, it almost tastes like a flavored cream cheese. ‘Cause Pepsi has so many just like artificial flavors in it, right? This literally tastes like when you get that like strawberry flavored cream cheese, and you just get the little hand of artificial strawberry flavor. It’s a good cheese. Dude, we, against all odds, made a good cheese with pilk, dude. The pilk cheese is good. All right, now time to just crush the rest of this taco. Damn, I’m feeling good. Wait, let me wash my hands. I’m covered in pilk cheese. Am I making my tortilla from scratch? No dude, we made pilk cheese. I’m gonna make a tortilla from scratch with pilk cheese. You know what? I’m gonna get some more pork fat on there. Josh is trying to win by muting the flavors. But me, I’m going head first. I’m just gonna make a little Pepsi salsa real quick. Get some fresh. Get some syrup. There it is. Get some of that pickling liquid. Oh, these are Pepsi pickled onions with habanero, if anybody had any questions about it. That’s what’s going on there. I wanna get a nice hard fry in this tortilla. Ah! He’s been here for three years and he still can’t turn on the blender without causing a commotion. All right, tortilla is getting nice and crispy. Ew! Ew! I dunno, man. I don’t know if that’s gonna make the plate. It takes a lot for Josh to say, ew. Here’s what I’ll do. Here’s what I’ll do. We got some crema here. I’m gonna make a bit of a spicy Pepsi crema. There we go. We’ll just add some of that. Oh God! Oh, it’s so sweet from the Pepsi. I don’t know what I thought was gonna happen though. Like that’s just what we added to it. Here we go. Yeah, this is the fix. Yeah, nice little spicy crema. Oh, Josh making a pink sauce. Beautiful. Big surprise! All right, let me load up some onions. Oh, this is a fun thing. Our garlic turned Pepsi blue. You want a Pepsi blue? This is Pepsi blue garlic. Grab a nice little fist full of onions. The onions are spicy enough and carry enough acid to where I don’t think we’re gonna even need a salsa on this. Beautiful. He’s such a liar. He’s literally trying to like make you believe in the thing he believes, AKA he’s a cult leader. Josh is a cult leader. We need to get out. Owie, owie, owie, perfect. Tortilla done. I’m gonna take a nice little… I’m gonna just do a like spoon swipe with this crema to give the pork a kinda bed. Something that’s gonna cut all the spice, and then we’re just gonna take a whole hefty log of that pilknitas down there. Interesting. A lot of that pilk cheese. Because again, that pilk cheese is the star of the show. It just looks horrifying and I am both ashamed and delighted. I’m ash-lighted. Habanero pickled onions, couple slices of radish on there, just for freshness. Natural. Some cilantro. Finish, beautiful! Serve with a lime wedge. That’s a dish that’s gonna smoke Nicole. Pilknitas taco with pilko fresco. Honestly, looks good. Probably tastes like hell. Pilktown. Population, me. Okay let’s try it. It smells like cream soda. I got earbuds in like it’s 2006 and I’m walking to school with my Skullcandys in. Oh! You know what it tastes like? It tastes like cream soda that you left out in the hot sun for about five days, and then you SodaStreamed it. Yeah, but that’s good. That’s a good thing to me. All right. Well that’s disgusting. I don’t like it very much. Nicole, don’t lie. You love the pilk. You love the pilk. You’re lying, Nicole. They know you’re lying. But we’re going to make an incredible meal out of it. And as you can see, this right here is not exactly a fashion statement. I had a little kitchen accident, got myself a little boo boo, and I can’t really touch any hot things. And I know what you’re thinking, “You cook professionally. You should probably be able to touch hot things.” But I can’t. So instead, I have my great friend Lily. I dunno if you guys have met her before. This is Lily. She’s new and she’s gonna be my ghost writer ’cause you know how rappers have ghost writers for their rhymes? Nicole has always secretly wanted to be a rapper. She’s gonna be ghost writing my food. Nicole thinks that the only way she can beat me is to bring in a ringer. It’s not gonna work, Nicole. I stand by my dish. So I’m gonna be doing all the stuff that doesn’t require me to touch heat. Okay. And you’re just gonna kind of whip out a sauce. Sounds good. So, in these, what do we call these? The competitions. I’ve been known to “hide my food.” Like hide the food crime. You can’t run from the food crime anymore, Nicole. I made pilk cheese. Today, we’re gonna show it off. Okay. We’re gonna make it the star of the show. We’re making pilk and wings, which are just chicken wings with a ton of pilk. We’re gonna be making a pilk barbecue sauce and a pilk dust. Yeah, that’s right, pilk dust, and it’s gonna be delicious. Pilk barbecue sauce is a good idea. I’ll give her that. So I want you to go ahead and start making this barbecue sauce. Okay. Go ahead and list off all the ingredients you see, and pour them in one by one. Okay. So we have some ketchup. Yeah, add some ketchup. So we’re making like a barbecue sauce. That’s real hot. It’s really hot. I’m gonna take it off the heat for now. This is apple ci- That’s beef broth. Beef broth. Yeah. Really all? Lily off to a rocky start with that one. Just throw like half the bottle of Pepsi in there, yeah. Okay, this is Pepsi. Yeah. I do know that one. That’s good, Lily. That’s good. Whenever I was researching how to make pilk dust, I made a mistake on the work laptop, and I typed in how to make coke powder and bad things came up on the internet. If the FBI busts in and arrests Nicole before this challenge is done, I’ll be so happy. I’m gonna start making some calls right now. If anyone from work is seeing this. Sorry! Okay, so while Lily is making an incredible barbecue sauce with tons of beautiful things, I made Pepsi candy. Wow! How cool is that? That’s pretty cool. I’ll give her that. That’s pretty freakin’ rad. So, basically all I did was cook down some sugar and some Pepsi and I got this really cool like candy out of it. And we’re gonna grind it up with a little bit of tapioca starch, and make a beautiful pilk dust out of it. This really Nicole’s breaking bad moment. I think she’s gonna start a lab somewhere. So this is a little bit of tapioca starch that I’m going to use to help us with the powdering process. A little bit of dehydrated milk powder because, you know, pilk, Pepsi, milk. This is my milk. What is she gonna put the pilk powder on? We got a little bit of allspice, some ginger, a touch of MSG, and then this is anise like star anise. Is it anise or anise? It’s anus. I feel like it’s anise. Anise? Well, I’m gonna call it anise. It’s called pilk anus. And then we’re gonna pour a little bit of sugar in there just for a little bit of sweetness to counteract all of those beautiful spices we put in there. So, let’s let it rip. Yeah, you’re really gonna be able to smell and taste the anus in there. All right, beautiful job. Let’s see what this tastes like. Is she gonna sauce the wings and then dust the wings? That’s hardcore. There’s gonna be a lot of pilk flavor in there. You know what it tastes like? A really disgusting fun dip. It does. Like an expired fun dip. It’s like a savory fun dip. It’s a savory expired fun dip. Yeah. We’re so good at cooking. I think with the savoriness of the chicken and the sauce, I think it’s gonna work incredibly well. Yes But we’ll be back to do more cooking things in just a little bit. All right, so it’s time to fry. Yes. As you know, I still can’t touch hot things. Nothing has changed since the commercial break. Somehow Nicole’s always the one that hurts herself and not me despite taking way more risks. So I’m gonna just take, oh, what is this you ask? Before we start into the cooking part. This is a chicken wing that has been soaked overnight in pilk. I have no idea what this tastes like. The pilk brine is a really good idea because you get the acid of the Pepsi tenderizing the wing too. Good move. So I’m just gonna take the wings, and I’m gonna just roll ’em about in some seasoned flour and then my darling Lily is going to take it, shake it off, and throw it in the deep fryer and let them get on nice and golden brown and pilky. I don’t think you’re gonna taste the pilk in her dish. I think Nicole again, she’s puttin’ pilk in the wrong… I got the pilk crema. I got the pilk cheese. So Lily, what’s your favorite part about working with us? Specifically, me. Tell the camera. Nicole is one of the nicest people that I’ve ever met. Suck up, you’re a suck up, Lily. Yeah, keep on going, keep on going. I’m a big words of affirmation girl. So it really, really feeds my soul. I’m gonna take a little bit of butter into some warm sauce and Lily’s gonna whisk it. It’s gonna take about like, I’d say like 15 minutes to get nice and cooked thoroughly. But yeah, the hot sauce is gonna start to melt the butter fat little by little and make a really beautiful silken sauce that we’re gonna toss all of our chicken wings into. Here’s the thing, Nicole’s beat me in some like real cook-offs. Just who can make a good burger? Who can make a good queso? But the problem is like the continental army during the revolutionary war, I have lured her into the woods of pilk to fight on my terrain. You cannot win. I’m feeling real confident. Real confident, Josh. You shouldn’t. Your dish is garbage. Real confident. You’re a talented cook, just not here. All right, we’ll be back once the chicken is cooked. Our chicken wings have come out of the fryer. They look kinda like fossilized, dinosaur bones. Chicken wings look like booty. I call ’em booty wings. But I’m kind of into that. You know what I mean? They’re GBD though. They’re what? Golden and brown and delicious. Ah! Lily has a new catchphrase, woo! Okay, I love it. So, we’re just gonna take these bad boys, and throw them into the… What we pretty much made Pepsi holidays. It’s not gonna taste like pilk. It’s gonna taste like barbecue sauce. Just giving it a nice toss. Oh, they look like peanut butter. Peanut Butter ass wings. Okay, let’s go ahead and take… you know what? You do it, Lily. I keep reaching over you. Go ahead and plate them. Oh my gosh, okay. You know, you came from a fine dining background. Stop. We’re never gonna let Lily live it down that she came to us from a Michelin starred restaurant. So bear with it. Beautiful, wow, that kinda looks delicious, if I do say so myself. Josh is going down. You’re going down, buddy. Yeah, you’re gonna take me down, Nicole? You’re gonna take me down to the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty? Huh? Are ya? A light dusting of pilk dust. That’s pretty cool though. I love like the technique that went into there. That’s dumb. Josh is gonna comment on these micro greens being like a 2006 plate, but I don’t care because 2006 was a great year for me. 2006? Honey, you’re going back to ’99. Put some sun dried tomatoes on there, huh? And there you have it, pilk chicken wings. You’re going down, Josh. Do this. Down. No, you are going down. Not up. Do this. No, up, no. No. Mm-mm. Down. No, you are going to lose to me. Oh my goodness. He’s not gonna know what to do with himself. Who would with pilk? Okay, I tried to get a smell with my back turned. I couldn’t really smell that much, but I see a taco and I think these are some chicken tendies. They’re wings, you fool! They’re wings. It’s not a good sign, if he can’t tell what part of the chicken it is. I hate my life. Can I be honest with everybody here right now? I’m a little hangover. Oh, bad day to be hangover in the Mythical Kitchen. I’ve never had pilk before, but it seems to make sense, right? I mean, if we’re doing root beer floats, milk, Pepsi. See he gets- Yeah, left out in the sun for five days. This is why we love Danny Palumbo. Well, I love Danny Palumbo for other reasons. Nice mustache, trusting face. Yeah, not ’cause of his pilk affiliation. I just like him for him. That is a very specific taste. Yeah. Specifically good. I’m gonna go in for the taco first. Oh my God, so juicy. Normally, I would take a picture of this first before I ate it because my Instagram is obnoxious, but I’m gonna go for it. Come on! Oh man. Oh my God! That has no right to be that good. Let’s go, Danny. Let’s go Danny Palumbo. That is delicious! Oh, no! My fingers are so greasy right now, I love it. This is exactly what I want in a taco. Oh, he likes the grease. Hangover. The lime, the cilantro, the habanero, I think. It’s all kind of enhancing the Pepsi flavor a little bit. What about the milk of it? What about the milk flavor? Do you taste any milk? That rules. That’s great. This, I’m super interested in. All right, I’m going for it. The sauce is, whoa. The sauce looks so good. It’s super viscous. This looks like, man, this looks so good. Oh, he likes my viscous sauce. He likes my viscous sauce. Does he like it or does he hate it? He loves it. It is also very good! Yes! Yes! Yes! This is just like, mm, really sweet and spicy. This is gonna be a dog fight, Nicole. Chicken is cooked, perfectly. Everyone here knows what they were doing, definitely. Oh, Danny Palumbo. Love that man, trusting face. The flavor’s really subtle, but it is so damn pleasant. Oh my gosh, oh my gosh. The pilk is really shining through in that sauce. Maybe more than anything here. Oh my God. This is amazing! This is like one of the best tacos I think I’ve ever had. This is incredible! The meat is cooked perfectly. All the different spices and everything. I just feel like it really compliments that, like pilk flavor, but this sauce- Don’t do it. Give me the W. Danny, come on. It is like a condensed version of this. Give me the win. Come on the taco. Gimme the win. Like it’s the first… We made it from scratch. Let me have a glass of pilk and just like… He’s really building the suspense right now. Pilk! We need to think of a slogan. I haven’t thought of one yet. Pilk, does a body good. Pilk, turns to cheese in your stomach. This sauce is incredible. Come on, Danny. Gimme the win. But the cheese here is so good. I hate you so much. If you won- Let’s go! I think this taco is like one of the best things I’ve eaten. I gotta go with the taco. Oh my God! Let’s go! I’m so mad. I’m so mad. I certainly hope- Yeah, we did it. We did it. We did it. We thought you were gonna go with Nicole’s wings the whole time. Also, if you had ever known doubt in your life, you do not know the level of doubt when you have a cheese cloth full of pilko fresco hanging overnight in your kitchen. Going what? Yeah, V was the big part of that. That’s huge. This was a coup. This was a coup that should not have won. None of this should have been as good as it is. Holy crap! It was all so good. Thank you, Nicole’s now O for three in our food crime battles. So, that was like… Yeah, that was huge for us. I’m so sorry. Nicole, do you have anything to say? I’m not making eye contact. No, I’m not eye contact. Oh, come on. Look at his trusting face and mustache. I can’t, it’s too trusting. And I just love his mustache so much. I can’t look at him right now. Is there sauce in it? Is there pilk in it? I don’t know. I haven’t looked at you yet. You reek of pilk. You reek of pilk Thanks, Danny. This was a pleasure. Yeah, Danny, truly, thank you so much. Made some awesome food today. Check out Sporked, by the way. Danny’s doing some awesome stuff over there. Yep. And Nicole, thank you for losing again. Losing? Even though you tried to bring in a ringer. My pleasure. That just shows, you lure someone into your territory and that’s where you stomp ’em. I’m not doing this anymore. Pilktown population us, bro. I already said that. Did you know I said that? Did you really say that? Yeah. So sick. All right, well, thank so much for stop by the “Mythical Kitchen.” We got new episodes for you every week. We have new episodes of our podcast, “A Hot Dog is a Sandwich.” Danny’s on it. Yep. I think. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he will be. He will be. Will be. Or has… Anwho, every Wednesday wherever you get your podcasts. Hit us up on Instagram and TikTok, @mythicalkitchen with pictures of your mythical dishes on our hashtag, #dreamsbecomefood. No one’s ever called out the fact that you don’t send pictures of dishes on TikTok. What? We’ll see y’all next time. 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