Oh my God. Am I in Chipotle? This guy, oh my God! Where did he come from, seriously? We’re not in Chipotle! Where did he come from because we need another one! We’re not in Chipotle. Check please! Jack, be honest. You ever been in a car this nice? This is, wow! I mean, this is premiere service here. I didn’t know the budget was this high for these episodes. Yeah, man. You know, we got the 2017 model Altima in here. It’s certified pre-owned so I can take it back to the dealership, get it serviced whenever I want. Thank you. And I see this says sport, so wow. Yeah, uh-huh, I don’t know what that means. Wait, does it really say… Yeah, look that’s drive and then sport. You never put in sport before? No, I don’t know what that means. Dude, what are you talking about? I thought it was just like the sequel to D. When you’re at a stop sign like this one and you need to cut out into the lane quick. Yeah. Throw it in sport. Watch what happens. No way, what does it do? It’ll just pick up faster. No, I’m a dumb ass, man. First off, We’re already off to a great start because eating Chipotle, the fork is half the taste. It’s gotta be a plastic fork. Eating it with a metal fork, it does not taste right. Yep. And I’m a big fan of eating in my car. Oh well, we are, it’s good news for you today. So this is the special, look, look, look. Now I’ve always been fat. I’m newly not fat. And I’m proud of you. I went to the gym for you today, which is what I mentioned earlier. But I tell myself that I’m eating healthy because I didn’t get cheese. I don’t get cheese or sour cream in this. I respect that, man. That’s one of the best things about Chipotle honestly, is that you can customize it any way you want. You’re not eating rice, you just get a slop of beans down there. Yeah. I mean, but tell me about this bowl. Because this was your signature bowl at Chipotle, right? Yes, this was in the app. It was, listen I was told, and I don’t know if this is true or not, but it was the second most selling behind David Dobrik, which I feel like is pretty good. Bro, Chipotle re-up this man’s contract! Yeah. Get him the jersey! Well, here’s the thing. I think I ate too much of their free food that you get with the celebrity card. No, are they tracking that? So yeah, I think, I think they cut me off. This piece of crap, just really milking it. Yeah, no, they cut me off. But no this is, look, brown rice, double chicken, medium salsa. And look, I like extra corn. Same, dude the corn salsa is Chipotle. It’s so good, I’m also a- Cheers! L’chaim! L’chaim! To life! I eat right to left I don’t know about you. What? You don’t do that? No, is that a thing that people think about? Mm-hm. I feel like I eat from, I like tongue out the middle and then go around. I eat right to left. Organized, very organized like this. You eat like you’re reading Hebrew? Yes. That’s beautiful, are you Jewish? No. You should be, you wanna be? You wanna convert right now? We got a rabbi that can just come in the car. I did see the rabbi standing outside. I didn’t know how he was gonna tie into the episode. He’s just always there, actually. Really, right on this random street? We got a rabbi on retainer. Honestly, this is fresh. This is absolutely delicious. I’m a fan, you got good taste, sir. Thank you. But my thing is, this is like perfection to me. At this point now, I’ve been eating this bowl for a decade. Wow. And I love every bit of this. So I have no idea how in the hell you fancify this, how you make this even better than it is. We’ve had a track record on this show of really messing up some beloved items. I don’t wanna do that to you, man. I’m gonna try and preserve the integrity of every single ingredient in here. However, we can step it up in technique. We can step it up in product, man. Like for instance, the chicken in here, right? It probably had testicles. What if, hold on, what if you removed those from the chicken, fattened it up, castrated it and then put it in the bowl. Does that sell you on my idea? I feel like it’s better to show you than to tell you. I feel like it’s better to show you. I regret every aspect of being here. Especially now, because you didn’t explain. All you said to me was “get ready to get your hands dirty”. And now you just mentioned castrating a chicken. Yeah, oh it’s gonna get real dirty. Oh dear. Let’s do it. Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together. Standing at six foot seven, weighing in at 235 pounds, starting power forward for your 100 Thieves. Jack “CouRage” Dunlop! Wait, hold on. Now we have to start with that as the intro to the video and not the car, ’cause we already saw him and already did that. Thanks man, appreciate that. Jack, welcome to Mythical Kitchen, man. Well, thank you for having me. First off, my cooking experience is very lackluster. We’ve done some cooking challenges. I call this a mortal and pistol. It’s pistols only. That’s where we’re going. Yeah. That’s the only video game reference I know. Is that even a video game reference? Nope. This chicken is a normal chicken. This still has its testicles. You can see, because if you kind reach in here, you can kind of feel ’em out, if you wanna just shove… I’m good. All right, that’s cool. So do you wanna make… I’m really good. You wanna make the spice blend instead? Yeah sure. All right, cool. So we’re gonna make a marinade. Well, you’re gonna make a marinade, specifically using the mortar and pistols right there. So you’re gonna take any amount of these spices dude. Like this is an art form, right? You don’t need to know how to cook to know flavors. So just put a bunch of that crap in there and bash it up. Are you serious? Yeah, yeah! You’re lying. I’m dead ass serious, man. Why? You don’t have the faith in yourself to do this? No, I have no- Jack, come on. What the hell is this? Think of it like a video game, man. You played, you played… Chipotle Adobados? So, these are your Chipotle Adobados. So these are Chipotles that are marinated and there it is. Come on Jack, you’re strong. Come on, you got that six foot seven inch frame. Use those big levers. Get in there, he’s really strong. There it is. Give it a whiff though. Give it whiff, it’s nice. Ooh, whoa that’s really smokey. Hmm, that’s smokey. So we’re gonna do like a Chipotle Adobo marinade. So dump some Chipotles in there. We got some beautiful chili powders right here. We got sweet paprika. Wait, what about the juice, do we want the juice? We definitely want the juice. Get some whole peppers in there, get some juice. We got fermented white pepper. How do I get it out? What? Oh, is that too much? No, that’s good, dude. Here’s what you do. You gotta just add stuff, put other things in there, bash it to pieces. We literally said in the car, we’re not gonna mess this up. We’re not gonna mess it up! And you messed up all the other ones. What do you… What’s going to wind up happening? We have a good track record! Is there gonna be a testicle in there? I don’t know, man. No, we took the testicles out of the other one. All right, we got Red Boat fish sauce salt. Are you being serious? Yes! All you’re saying is dump this in this. Have some faith in yourself for crying out loud! Was I supposed to start doing this already? Be a gamer. Listen dude, if someone puts me in a video game, alright, I don’t go in there and complain, bro. I don’t know how to play video games! I just go in there and start shooting. See now the- Battlefield II, 2006, Howie’s Game Shack. that’s where the real pro gamers were at. He put cold brew in his mouth. Yeah. And spit it out prior to filming. I did, I did. Just because he needs the taste. Yeah. So here’s the thing… The crew was begging him not to drink it. Yeah, that’s just a thing that really happened. How many spices have you added in there? Three. Great. This is four. That’s not bad, that’s not bad. This is Cobanero, Cobanero Chili. Cobanero Chili, that’s important. I like spicy. Would this be good to have? Yeah. – Well try some, try some. Put it in your hand and just taste it. Yeah, there it is, do me, do me. Do me, do me. Do me, I’m gonna close my eyes. Oh my God. That’s great. Oh, that is spicy. That is spicy, yeah. Dump it, man. Dump that! Yeah! Woo! You have managed to fully de bone a chicken. Yeah, but then we’re gonna- And perfectly filet it. And I have put five spices wrongly in a bowl. Yeah, yeah. This is why I don’t cook, baby. Maddy, if you watch this, you haven’t watched any of my videos ever but you’ll probably watch this. This is why I don’t cook with you. Okay? Maddy, you deserve the, I’m just saying like, you have a right to ask him to be better. Like, I’m just saying, you know. We just went to goddamn Hawaii. I don’t even think I told you what we’re actually doing. So this is a normal testicled chicken and then we’re gonna take it and we’re gonna shove it inside the carcass of a non-testicle chicken. Where’s the non-testicle chicken? Oh, you’ll know it when you see it. Is it a big boy? Oh, it’s a big fat boy, man. I mean, imagine if someone ripped your nuts out, how big you’d be. You know? Jack, reach into my white pouch. Yeah, so that’s the olive oil. So you’re gonna use that to add some volume to it. Oh! This is some premium. Yeah, so this is called Lambda Olive Oil. Don’t know why it’s so fancy or expensive, but it is. And we got it. And so you’re gonna add that to there. That’s gonna give us more volume. I’m almost done on this chicken. Do you have any bread? Someone get Jack some bread! We got, Wonder Bread. So is there gonna be… Oh my God. This could be infected! Costco’s finest. I can’t eat this now. What? Dude, just microwave it for a second. That’ll kill the salmonella. Hey, check this out. Hey, you just opened that like an absolute madman. I’m Italian. Oh, now we gotta- Wait, pour some olive in my mouth. Here. Hold on. Let me make a good bite. Let me make you a good bite This is gnarly, man. This salt rested with dead anchovies for three months. Come on, come on. Come here, come here, come here. Jack, just a little bit. This is some- Jack! Don’t you use that tone with me. Here. Go ahead. Oh, that’s not in your macros for the day. You’re eating it now. You realize you just broke that. Someone get him some cold brew. That is a dulcet lovely olive oil right there. Isn’t it? Hold on, we got our marinade that’s, I assume delicious. I’ll fix it when we turn the cameras off. And then we got our chicken de boned. Now we gotta roll it and stuff it, are you ready? Not me, but you can. Let’s do it! Jack, do you wanna get your hands dirty? I want to get dirty. Let’s get dirty! Then, wait, this is the other chicken! So this- oh my God! This giant meat shield right here. There we go. It’s called a Capon. It’s a really fancy awesome- K-pop? Yes, this is the K-pop chicken. This is Jimin. That’s the only K-pop artist I know. All right. So, here, take some of that salt. Sprinkle it all over this chicken. There you go. That’s nice. So, we’re gonna take this carcass and then wrap it up with this carcass inside of it. And then that’s double chicken ’cause you get double chicken on your bowl. So we’re making it literal double chicken. Double chicken. That makes sense. I thought you’d have like a more excited reaction. Can you be a little more excited? Like, we’ll cut that take. We’ll just do another. So Jack, we’re taking that chicken and we’re putting it inside there ’cause double chicken! Holy! What the, man! You ever heard of- It’s double chicken! But this one doesn’t cost extra! Just take that and brush all over this and then I’m gonna shove this chicken inside of, man, this is really flappy. That was nice. Wait, why don’t you just use your hands, man? Just dump it. No. Just dump. What about this? That stay up right? Yeah, definitely does. This is great. Oh no, the twine! No, not the twine! Mythical will never financially recover from this. So what’s this called again? Capon. Capon chicken. Capon in French. Oh, . Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir? Please stop. Now, here’s what we’re gonna do. We’re just gonna take- Yeah. What happened, dude? This is just… Dude. This whole thing apart. Dude, you spilled- . Oh god! What happened, man? No, I didn’t- Just brush it. Just brush it gently. Gosh. Brush it while I’m holding it. That’s nice. Wait, we can make this like a Picasso. Yeah. Like Banksy. This is Banksy art. How is this Banksy art? I don’t know, ‘Cause I have a paint brush. Like all I did was play video games. I didn’t cook, I didn’t learn how to play an instrument, I didn’t know how to paint. I did pottery, I played the recorder. I’m just getting some sauce off your finger. Oh, that’s great. I love that for us. So, remember playing “Hot Cross Buns” on the recorder? Yeah. You got hot buns. What? All right, so here’s what we’re gonna do. We’re gonna take this and we’re gonna just roll it up inside like a towel. This is not real. How is this cooking? This is called cooking! What do you mean? How is this going to cook? Because we’re gonna tie it up. I’ll show you how it’s gonna cook. We’re just gonna drag it, we’re gonna tie it up, and then we’re gonna kinda shove it inside of itself. People don’t do this, right? What do you mean people? Who’s people? This is not like a thing that people- Cut some twine. Jack. I’m gonna need about eight lengths of twine about three feet in length. There it is. There it is. Here, I’m just gonna take… All right, hold on. You said eight of three feet in length? Well, maybe like two feet. Maybe like two feet. Here, just hold. You have to use it closer to the end of the scissor. Oh, thanks. Yeah, I gotcha. There you go. Let me get more in frame. Yeah, yeah. Shoot. Hold on, let me position here. Can you see my drawer? How do my drawers look from the back? You look great. Thanks man. Your mics exposed though. I know, I know. Here, maybe turn this way. Turn this way. Here. ‘Cause now we’re more open to camera, thank god. Get in one of these. We’re at six twine. Seven. Oh my god, no! Just hold it, dude. This twine’s wrapped around your foot. You’re caught like a whale! And I didn’t call you a whale! You said that you’re- Did you just call me a whale? All right, cool. Oh my god! I’m trying to lose weight. We’re not fat phobic in the Mythical Kitchen! I’ve always been very conscious of my weight. Jack, just put your finger right there, man. Okay, put you finger right there firmly. Wait, your fingers are so much longer than mine. Yeah, dude. I’m a natural elite athlete. No, put it on the twine! Oh. On top. And then what I’m gonna do is I’m gonna pull a knot, and then- We’re connecting. What? We’re making tsaheylu. Do you watch “Avatar? Are you a fan? Oh, “Avatar: The Way of Water?” You’ve seen the trailer for that? I’m really excited, dude. It looks so good. It looks awesome. All right. You wanna see it together? I would love that. Actually, I’m busy. It’s not for another seven months. No, we’re good. I’m booked up. On three on three. On three. I’m slipping my finger out? You’re slipping your finger out and I’m going to do this as hard as I can. All right, say it together. All right. One, two, three! God we tied one of eight! Woo! Wait, we need to do that eight times? Yeah, we need to do this many times, man. One, two, three. Trevor, get out get out. Perfect! We did it. All by ourselves! We shouldn’t touch each other. Nope. All right Jack, you ready to throw this in the oven? You know what? I wanna do it. You wanna do it? Toss it in, man! Toss it in, Jack! Manhandle that! I’ve worked over my fear- Do not say that. What? Anything handling. Why? It doesn’t have to be manhandle. I’m so sorry. No, I just- You’re inclusive. Thank you. Thank you. I’m gonna manhandle the shit out of this right now. All right. That is awful, man. Wow! There it is! Don’t you feel powerful now? None of us have clean enough hands. Here, I’m gonna . Ew, ew. I know. What do you mean “ew” dude, there’s no ew at this point, alright? Just gonna rub it down with the rest of the marinade. So we’re actually eating this? Yeah. It’s gonna be good. You need a little faith, man. All right, we’re gonna pop this in the oven for 400 degrees for god knows how long. Six hours. We’re just gonna go shower ourselves off with lye. Yup Burn. This is called Carolina Gold rice. This is a heritage grain of rice. Here, try some. It’s good. So this is called Heritage Gold rice. You taste how crunchy that is? I chipped my teeth. That’s the signature. Yeah, yeah. It’s called the tooth chipper. But no, this is a really awesome Heritage grain of rice from South Carolina. This is gonna be really fantastic. We’re gonna toast that up in a ton of bone marrow fat. And then we’re actually gonna use a bone marrow stock to cook the rice. You like the bone marrow? I love me some good old bone marrow! That’s like nature’s butter! We’re boning boys over here, you know what I mean? Just two boys boning. So, we- Goddammit. I’m so sorry. It’s a family show. It’s a family show. We’re gonna crank this pot. You’re gonna be my ladle man. So right now I’m gonna take a blow torch and I’m just gonna try and melt this bone marrow. Dude, stop right now! Yeah. Whoa! You know how to use a blow torch? Check that out. Here, you wanna grab it? Grab it. Torch a little, Jack. Yeah! Now he likes cooking, you know. It’s like the flamethrower in one of your video games. This is the best thing I’ve ever done in my whole life! What do you play, though? Like, Mario Party? Double kill. Yeah. There it is. Okay Josh, here! That’s enough that’s enough. Are you scared now? It’s like I shouldn’t have the knife. See, sorry. I watch a lot of the shows. I’m actually the one fangirling here. I’m gonna shwoop some of that in there. Bone marrow’s gonna add a nice texture of richness that you’re not normally gonna get at Chipotle. You should take that sweet bourbon shot down, we should luge it. Wait dude, do you see that? What happened? Oh my god, dude. My phone fell on the ground. Wait, you’re gonna help me grab it. There it is. That’s good phone. Oh man! That’s good phone. Oh! My phone got liquid on my mouth. Hello? Oh my god, yes I would like to refinance my mortgage. That was honestly terrible. Yeah, I’m sorry, man. It’s tough when you’re down there. You know, you don’t really know what’s going on. That’s the least glamorous thing I’ve ever done. Jack, I’m gonna need you to palm heel strike some garlic. You ever palm heel strike your garlic? Nope. Alright, so check this out. The way you’re gonna do it, palm heel strike, the most powerful strike in all of martial arts. You get ’em right in the bridge of the nose and just gonna jam it up there. Just gonna get in their head and they’re dead man. Bas Rutten taught me that. So, you’re gonna stack the elbow over the forearm and then you’re just gonna strike down, and then boom. Perfectly crushed garlic every single time. Super easy to peel. Hadouken! Ow! Bro, you missed the garlic. What happened? Thought you were gonna shatter our table with that six foot seven frame of yours. You know what? It’s ’cause I’m a lefty. I’m actually a lefty but I’m ambidextrous. You go both ways. Nice. Hadouken! That was really good, man! Thank you. You got it. What did you scream? Was that German? Nope. I don’t know. I like to break it up in there. That’s good. That’s good. We’re really just trying to use that for like a sort of aromatic- Oh my god. It’s very aromatic. It’s so aromatic. So, that’s the rice, those are the bay leafs, That’s right, these are the bay leafs For flavor, for taste. Exactly, yes. This a ladle. Stir it. That’s more of a wooden spoon. Oh. But it’s fine. We’re gonna add a little bit of salt. Salt really does make the world go round. Dudes, man. So what we’re gonna do here is that bone marrow’s gonna melt out so perfectly and get right in that rice and you’re really gonna taste the pain and struggles of the animals as they were slaughtered for their bone marrow. You disgust me. What is this? That’s Saffron. Oh my god, Jack. That’s like 80 bucks for the Saffron, man. What are you doing? Now I gotta do it. Is it really expensive? Yeah, dude! Each of these are a hand harvested stamen from a Crocus flower in the foothills of- You’re lying. I’m dead ass serious. This is just- Jack, this is my life. Is he lying? This is my life. This is my job. I did that as a bit. This is what I do. That was actually 80 dollars? Well maybe if I win some of your fancy like, I don’t know, PC computers or whatever. Not everything needs to be video games! I don’t just play video games! Tell me about your hobbies. I watch video games! Oh, he watches video- We’re now making a video game. Oh, yeah, wow. Big, huge change. I mean, did you ever go out and touch grass? Play a sport? No, and I’ve been struggling with that a lot, so- I’m sorry man. That’s a bit, you know. If you wanna join, we got a- I’m about to join an all Jewish basketball league, if you wanna jump in. Oh. You gotta convert though. Where’s that rabbi? Kenny, bring in Schmuel. Where’s Schmuel? This is the third rabbi bit of this episode. Are we good? Yeah, dude. Okay, what do I do with the- Oh! Yeah, rice is burning for sure. Rice is burning, so. Oh. Another one? Yeah, another one. We’re gonna add probably about four ladles of that. So we’ve actually been cooking down. Ow! So yeah, we’ve just been cooking down these bones for a while to extract all the marrow from them. And good news, you can kind of go in and just like… Eat the little gobbets on the side. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That’s nice. I think one more. There we go. Just to cover the rice. Now we’re gonna shut this off. Good. We’re gonna cover it. We’re gonna let it steam and then we’re gonna hit it with our cilantro and our lemon. Just like they do at the Chipotle. Salsa. We got the mild salsa. That’s the roasted tomatillo salsa at Chipotle. It’s a really freaking’ good salsa. It’s a very good salsa. I don’t want to screw up too much but we’re gonna make it from scratch. We got roasted tomatillos, roasted shallots. It’s like an onion that went to grad school, which I would know nothing about. I dropped out of college. Hey, look how far you got. I know man, look at us. Just great. Did you go to college? Yeah, I have a degree in Media and Film. Let’s keep going. Man, everyone has a degree in something. All right, so we got the roasted stuff. My grandma would be proud of you, Jack. Thank you. What’s that? That’s a roasted buono. We got roasted jalapenos, roasted tomatillos. We’re gonna add some fresh cilantro and then how I want to Jazz this up. That’s pomegranate molasses. So, that is just pomegranate juice that’s been reduced. We’re gonna use that to add some acid in there. Along with lime. And then, check this out. Smell this. Dried lime powder. Whoa! Yeah, we’re gonna add a little bit of sort of Persian inflection. You know what that’s like? It’s like, you know the bottom of the Doritos? Where there’s all of just the flavoring left? That’s actually how they make it. Really? Yeah, they take just a hint of lime Doritos. Mm. Yeah, and then they just distill that. It’s a very artisanal process Wow, wow. from the foothills of Armenia. You’re just making that up. Yeah, definitely- Do you wanna start de-seeding some chili’s? Yeah, yeah. Not de-seeding, just de-stemming. We’ll have the seeds. Let me de-stem this. Yeah, I’m just gonna start chucking’ tomatillos in there. De-stem that. Start chucking’ some shallot in there. I do love me some spice. Yeah! I put Sriracha on everything. Dude, we can put Sriracha in the bowl, man. This ain’t fancy. What about this? Yeah, you can have that in there. That’s probably enough. And then we’re gonna take some fresh cilantro. You like cilantro? Yeah, I don’t have that thing where- The gene. Yeah, where it tastes like raw soap or something. If y’all could please rate our podcast five stars. I got a lot of people who say that I’m ableist for thinking their cilantro gene thing is fake. I just think think it’s fake, man. Interesting. I think it’s fake. All right, we’re gonna drop some of this in there. Can I taste this? Yeah, yeah. Taste it. It’s supposed to be sour. Oh my god, it’s sour. I said it was supposed to be sour. It tastes like cough syrup. Okay, you don’t have to put it in there, man. Oh, god! Why are you putting any of this in? You don’t like that? This is great, dude! In Cocktails? It tastes terrible. Here, we’re just gonna– No! Not the label! Just a little bit! Please! Just a tiny bit. This is great! This was a lovely find. You know what that tastes like? Delsym. What’s Delsym? You ever had a bad cough? No. It’s a really good cough suppressant. Okay. I trust you, man. Wait, can I squeeze the lime? Yeah, squeeze the lime. Shoot, I’m gonna grab some water. Be strong, baby boy! Be strong, honey bunny! Who’s the strongest lime squeezing boy? That’s probably enough lime. Okay. Let’s wind it up and see where we’re at. Gonna add a little water to that. Whoa. Where’d you get that? Just gonna add a little bit. Bro, this is our finest sink water, man. It’s Mythical! Y’all can’t even afford some cold spring? That looks really good. It looks really good, right? Wait, should we try it? This is just gonna be the first- Go on. Here, grab some spoons. There’s spoons in that… Yes, Chef! Now we’re talking! Okay, well, here we are. Wrong drawer. Now we’re sipping it like it’s soup. It’s a little bit sweet. Needs more- You know what it actually needs? It actually needs MSG. It does. It actually needs MSG. Where’s the MSG at? Where do we keep… I carry MSG at all times. Bro. Right in my front pocket, baby. Look at you! You never know what you’re gonna need MSG for. MSG has been one of the worst- MSG’s actually really good for you. I kind of agree with that, right? Like, I don’t know. I’m not a doctor yet. You know what it needs? One day. What’s that? More flavor. We added flavor man. We’re adding flavor. There we go, we’ll let it run a little bit. I like the texture where we’re at. Yeah, yeah. No, I agree. Okay, okay. Just gonna kind of jam that in there Now we’re getting somewhere. Now we’re getting somewhere. Yup, we’re getting somewhere we’re getting somewhere. Little pinch. Little pinch. Yeah. One more lime. One more lime. Wait, hold on. Ready? Watch this. Oh my god, am I in Chipotle? This guy, oh my god. Where did he come from, seriously? We’re not in Chipotle. Where did he come from ’cause we need another one! We’re not in Chipotle! Check please, am I right? God I’ll have what he’s… I got some lime juice in my eye, what the hell. Jack, one more salsa. Dude, we are so close. To me eating? Bro, light up this- Move that bus! We got this bowl, bro! Remember that show? I hope that guy’s doing well, Pennington. Yeah, “Ty Pennington, Extreme Makeover Home Edition?” Here’s the thing, Jack. He changed lives. What are you talking about? Who? I kind of just mute you half the time you talk. I’ve been blacked out for the last thirty- You see how much cold brew- Oh dude, I got more cold brew. Whoa! Yeah, so we’re actually smoking the corn. Oh I should say what we’re doing. Yeah, I didn’t know what was supposed to happen. I forgot it was a cooking show! I didn’t know what was supposed to happen, so. We are cherry wood smoking corn. So, we got bowl loaded with cherry wood, right here. And as you see, I turned it off. And so, it’s gonna slowly fill this bowl of shucked corn. Hand shucked by our very own Trevor Evarts. Artisanally shucked. We’re gonna fill this with smoke and then that’s just gonna impart a beautiful smoky flavor. Is he the famous podcast host? Yeah, he’s the famous podcast host. Have you listened to it? You want my honest answer? Yeah. No. Oh shoot, I’m sorry- No, I have. He had Minx. Yeah, Minx was good. I mean, they’re all good. You wanna know why I haven’t listened to it? I wasn’t asked to be on it. I’m spiteful. All right, so we got the corn smoked. Smell that corn, smell that smoked corn. Smells great. Wait, actually, oh my god. You know what it smells? It smells smoky. Smoky! That’s right. Dude, this guy. Oh my god! He’s crazy. I’ll be here all week. Crush up these ham chips man, so this is Iberico ham, ham that’s been made from the black footed pigs of Spain, The Pata Negra, they’re fed on a diet of acorns and hazelnuts. Like really crush a lot of it, try and get all- I’ll get the second crush. Smoky ham salsa, look at that. Strong man! This is how they make the salsa in Chipotle? No gloves? Yeah no gloves. And then its just like a titration. Wait I wanna try it. Yeah. Eat a ham chip dude. Oh my god! That’s some of the best. You know what it is? You can taste your arteries filling. Yeah! That’s good. ‘Cause it slows down time ’cause you think you’re dying. And so we’re just gonna add a little shallots. I have health anxiety, and I’ve felt a few times this week that I thought I was having a heart attack. Oh shoot man I’m sorry. No it’s fine. Oh yeah this is gonna kill you you’re gonna love it. I’m having a crisis. Oh now I feel bad about all the salmonella stuff. All right cool. So we got shallots, we got- Because if you lick your hand, all that ham fat. We’re adding champagne vinegar, it’s fancy, Jack. Champagne vinegar, come on. You ever see anything like that? You know Champagne’s a place? Yeah. Wait no, I’ll say no so it’s more interesting. You know Champagne’s a place? Oh yeah! Yeah it’s a place Cool man. All right. So we’re gonna add a little bit of salt. We’ve already got a fair amount of salt on the ham. Were gonna add a little bit of black pepper, and were just gonna give this a toss with what I believe to be a fresh spoon. Are we still making salsa? I have no idea what this tastes like, eat some corn. It could be good, it could be bad. There is just half a wad of unchewed ham still in your mouth as I put that in there. Mm. I think its pretty damn good. That crunch from the ham in there? Wait can I just test if its poison again? Yeah do it. Add some. Go to town man. Ima eat your ham bits. That sounds like a threat- Oh my god! Isn’t that incredible? Vinegar. Folks, come on, here we are on a cooking show making food, you ever seen anything like that? We got our beautiful broasted double chicken out here, how does she smell? It smells so good. Do you wanna slice it up because what we’re gonna do right now, we have wagyu beef fat, we’re actually gonna slice this, dice it, saute it in wagyu beef fat to crisp every- did you just lick the fat? No. Okay good. You wanna slice and dice it? I wanna do it once. Okay do it. I don’t trust my knife skills. Just cut through here. We should get rig of the string I mean unless you want to eat the string. Do you want to eat the string? Is it fancy string? Dude its the fanciest string. My god! This is Hobby Lobby string. Wow that knife is really coming at me. Sorry man I get a little excited, you know? Wow look at that, I’m gonna pull off a little nubbin. No, you’re supposed to feed me. Here baby bird it. There might be some tendons in there, ’cause here’s the thing… Wait hold on. Oh oh. oh my good. That’s good man. I really want it. This is great. Oh there might be some bones in here. I just had a straight up molar break. I don’t know what this is, you want some of that? That one seems softer. All right that was really hot. It’s so hot! Super hot man. Super hot. Damn that’s good though. Mhm! Are you okay? Yep. Here have some salsa it will cool you down. Cool down, cool down baby. Come on. I can’t breathe. All right jack, start hacking that. Ill finish the rice. We’ve got some fresh lemon juice going in the rice, just like we do with the chipotle. And we add a little bit of cilantro here. Here here. Oh you want to do the rice? Ill do the chicken. Wow this rice seems really overcooked. Bro there’s like nine pounds of bone marrow in there, you can just chill alright? Rookie. My god. Jack look what we’ve done. Whoa! Look at that. I’ve never seen anything like this, this is just… Oh the thumbnail! We boned a chicken! holy crap I’m so excited. Jack hack that up. Hack it up! Just start bashing it, I’m gonna put some wagyu beef fat in here. There we go. God that’s nice. I feel like I’m a chef. Remember the movie Matilda? Yeah! I feel like I could be the chef, like the scary thing. That pan’s about to explode if I don’t put some stuff in there. Rarhhh! There we go. So that wagyu beef fat is replacing what, oil? Yeah, I thought you chopped most of the chicken, I was mistaken. What is that? What is all that red? Chili man, we put that in. Its what you bashed up. Get that yeah. You want to try a piece of crispy skin? Yeah. Mm. Oh my god. Yep this is gonna be good. The crystal swan, she has returned! It’s beautiful!. Let’s start doing this man. That was 3.99. That’s a fake crystal. Yeah this is absolutely fake crystal. Just like that overcooked rice? Okay listen, the rice is overcooked but can we just drop it? Yeah sorry you brought it up. No but I was trying to apologize. Don’t use all of it because I want to bring some home. Yeah oh we can do that. I wanna bring some of this home. We probably need some of this for the thumbnail. No come on we can make the thumbnail right now. I always make noises when I make thumbnails. Someones like “hey look excited” I’m just like “ahhh!” Thumbnails don’t have audio. Imagine if thumbnails had audio, you had to make like the most intriguing sound! “did you see the thumbnail on today’s Mythical Kitchen episode?” Was that a pterodactyl or Jack? People will click that. Bro what was that? I’ve never heard anything like that. Heads up heads up. What’s that? Salsa. There we go there we go. Hold on. I want a go. Here put the corn on put the corn on. Yeah just shovel it in there baby. Oh my god! I feel like we just made a yogurt parfait. Double corn. Double corn. Keep corning keep corning. Now where’s the blowtorch? Blowtorch blowtorch! We have to spoon it in right? Yeah. This is the best show on YouTube. I agree! I’ve been saying that! And the kids they don’t listen to me! Don’t stop! They don’t listen Jack! That camera’s worth more than us. Schpoon it. its not very much. If were being honest there’s not that much bone marrow. You guys ran out of budget didn’t you? No listen we had the budget for the bone, but we didn’t know that the cows aren’t big anymore. Were going into a global recession so I get it. Well hey there we have it, there’s our fancy Chipotle Burrito Bowl I hope you love it. I’m more excited for this, than anything in my life up to this point. Oh dude no no no, low expectations are the best, sauce is what I always say. Wow! That is just dreary now. Get out of here. We gotta try this. We got the plastic forks. Key! So were gonna dig into the OG Chipotle Bowl, just to try it and remember what it tastes like. So we can really appreciate the fanciness. Mhm. That’s so good. Still holds up, is a delight. Lets dig into this. Oh man! I’m gonna try and dig deep and get the rice. The double double chicken… Oh that all fell off. Sorry man listen I’m just vibing man. This is nice. There’s my chicken skin in there. You remember the chicken? No testicles. Look at my bite. Oh get it in there! Ill spot you. I’m about to go from top down. That is everything in that, but perfected. You know what I like? This one nails the smoky flavor so much better. Its called Chipotle it’s supposed to be smoky! There’s so much smoke in that. So much better. The ham, the smoked corn, the chipotles in the chicken marinade. The quality of chicken. Yep. From here on out, if your chicken’s got testicles, you’re messing up. Just got to rip em out, bite em off with your teeth. You know how soft and tender this meat is? And this is pretty healthy too! You know, there’s a lot of bone marrow though, but that’s got macros, you need it! What are you doing? Oh the ice cream scoop. Here give me a scoop. Give me a scooperino. How good is that? All right I’m going in. I never wanna leave. Yo hold up. This is like the most exciting moment of my fat kid life. this has been fancy fast food. L’chaim. Jack ‘CouRage’ Dunlop baby! That’s what the hell we do in here! How much, not including the pristine real crystal. Jack, not including the pristine, very real crystal, $237.48. But hold on, think, dude this is 20 times better than that man. No its not. And this chicken has 0% the testicles! I was thinking maybe eight times. No no dude do you know the cost it takes to rip off the testicles from a chicken? It doesn’t want it. You gotta chase it around. That’s labor. I’m gonna keep eating, can I bring this home? Bring it home. You can do whatever you want. We’ve already packed you up some leftovers man. Jack, truly man, thank you so much for stopping by, this was incredible, we’re blood brothers now, we swallowed a lot of each others’ spit, we were fingering a lot of each others’ chickens, it was getting weird in here. I’ll de bone a chicken with you any day. Tell em sir, plug what you got going on! Guys be sure to subscribe to anything Josh does, because he deserves all the success. Yes! Click the bell baby! And because I’m worried about him. I know, truly honestly. And if you saw him off camera, you’d really- please watch this. Yeah it is a horror show. Life is in shambles. And thank you all so much for stopping by Mythical Kitchen, we’ve got new episodes for you every week, we have new episodes of our podcast “A Hot Dog is a Sandwich” every Wednesday wherever you get your podcasts, hit us up on Instagram @mythicalkitchen or #wheredreamsbecomefood with pictures of your mythical dishes, we’ll see you all next time. Where’s my cold brew where’s my cold brew? Wooh! Papa needs his go juice! You’re too hot to handle and so is your bake ware. Get a Mythical Kitchen oven mitt, available now at Mythical.com.