ramble oh do you feel like you missed out on something big perhaps a little fomo is setting in perhaps you’re feeling like you missed out on a wild r-rated show that pushed boundaries perhaps it was called good mythical evening well good news even though the live event is over the video on demand lives on b-o-d baby bam you can get access to good mythical evening for 48 hours starting friday september 10th at 4 p.m pacific time see all the wild and unforgettable moments at goodmythicalevening.com and if you can’t start watching tonight don’t worry the vod will still be available to purchase until sunday september 18th you eat the blue bag the story ends you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe you eat the red bag you stay in wonderland and i show you how deep the rabbit hole goes what the heck are you talking about nacho cheese vs cool range doritos how is that not clear this is a hot dog as a sandwich ketchup is a smoothie yeah i put ice in my cereal so what that makes no sense a hot dog is a sandwich a hot dog is a sandwich welcome to our podcast a hot dog is a sandwich the show where we break down the world’s biggest food debates i’m your host josh sharer and i’m your host nicole and i ate and nicole i can’t i can’t believe that we haven’t done this before i know it sounds like something we would have talked about like ad nauseam at this point we’ve probably talked about it in our personal lives but as i started to really sit with this question nicole it changed me in ways that i didn’t know i was going to be changed wow and it made me really reflect on my personal values as really did it it actually no no it actually did it actually did i’ll explain later when we really get into it but first off like doritos for me are the quintessential ship they’re the best yeah not for me i like lay’s potato chips you would take leis over doritos interesting if i was at a party and there was a bowl of potato chips versus a bowl of doritos i’d go for the chips obvi i would never i would literally not take a single chip unless there was a um a nudeson sour cream lipton french onion dip mixed into a thing that i could dip this in so we’re coming at this debate from different angles sure i am a hardcore doritos stand since i was a child i would i remember all of the dorito hype drops to call i remember 2002 uh smokey red barbecue doritos with qui-gon jinn from star wars phantom menace who is that oh my god liam neeson with the long hair oh the guy with the green lightsaber i’ve never seen a star wars have you ever seen one star i’ve never told you this not a singer i’ve never seen the star wars i’ve never seen the lord of the rings i knew that i know you ended up i’ve never seen i’ve never cared to watch game of thrones game of the thrones i was that close to saying yeah i’m just not that person they put little like star wars collectible cards inside this bag of doritos yeah it was really cool except you couldn’t open them because they were so greasy from all the chips why are there no jabba the hutt doritos he’s the guy who should be all over there but you’re coming at this from a morally neutral place yeah i don’t care that much i just like a certain chip flavor more than the other i feel like i know what direction you go but tell people tell the people i like cole ranch doritos you would of course you would as somebody who does not like doritos nicole that makes sense i i’m not you are missing you’re putting words in my mouth i’m saying i don’t care that much about them it doesn’t mean that i hate them just because you don’t care about something doesn’t mean you hate it you just don’t care apathy is worse than hate it i believe it is no no no yeah it is but like i don’t have strong feelings towards it but i do love cool ranch doritos because um oh number one they’re uh christmas colored like the the flecks are red and green and you know what they are right what the red pepper and green pepper i think so well the so the main the number one seasoning ingredient in cornish doritos is tomato powder oh that makes sense which makes sense if you like really think and then the green is dehydrated bell pepper because i love both of them so much they’ll flex the flecks make it for me the flex make it for me you’re coming at it from a visual perspective you’re like but blindfolded how do you feel about not just use your school ranch i’m a visual learner i always have been i need to see things in front of me before i make a decision always um but the taste is better like sucking on a chip like the powder of the cool ranch is so much better than the nacho cheese because i can get nacho cheese anywhere i can get nacho cheese from cheetos i can get i can get cheese i can get cheddar chips like hold on this is okay one i gotta say um before i really sat down and marinated on this i would have said cool ranch doritos yeah sure primarily because i originally thought that like hey this is a more interesting flavor this is a more engaging flavor it’s not just cheese you get the tomato powder you get the buttermilk powder you get the msg it’s good to me doritos cool ranch versus doritos nacho cheese is like the sour cream and onion versus you know cheddar flavored potato chips this is their version of sour cream and onion even though doritos actually did have a sour cream and onion flavor that sounds good in the 70s i would enjoy that what but sour cream and onion is just ranch flavored that’s what i believe that’s my weird onion and ranch there’s a ferment there should be onion in your ranch flavor there shouldn’t be too much onion in your ranch flavor but it’s like it’s like a hyped up onion version of but it’s like i understand it’s satisfying that like acidic flavor profile which if you’re eating just a chip that’s been saturated in oil and applied with oil so you can stick seasonings to it you want that acid to cut through it however when you said that you can get that cheese flavor anywhere that would have originally been my argument but i think doritos cheese flavor is so much better than any other cheese flavoring and that’s where i come down on the nacho cheese flavor what about what about the spicy nacho okay here’s the thing i also believe i also believe nacho cheese and cool ranch which one i still view them as nacho cheesier and cooler ranch because my biggest what does that mean to the average person do you know what i’m talking about when i say that no oh my god so like there was a time probably i would say maybe at least a six to eight year period in which for whatever reason doritos branded their products as uh superlatives no comparatives i guess that’s okay that’s the grammar word for it look up nacho cheese you’re on your computer and you’ll see the old branding maggie search it up on my computer yeah they were called nacho cheese and then they had a spicier nacho like fierier habanero yeah nicole these are the dorito bags i grew up with i never grew up with those doritos bags interesting i mean i would get so many dorito bags from from the gas station back when they were 99 cents and they the label printed on it before inflation took over yeah median prices of homes have jumped 116 wages have only gone up eight percent what the heck’s going on here shame on you anyways i’m about the dorito inflation index so nacho cheese and cool ranch are far and away the top two most popular yeah um in most polls that i’ve seen online nacho cheese beats it in either like a 55 45 or 60 40 split but those are the top two however i believe that they are the bottom two dorito flavors yeah you’re a spicy sweet chili guy huh i’m a spicy chili that way i like the tapatio doritos tapatio doritos those are really good do you think they taste like tapatio at all no but that’s the point like i agree you can’t the the thing is you have to put tapatio on your doritos you should like every person you guys don’t do that no no i don’t oh yeah everyone should do that yeah i mean you you’re talking about you open the bag and you put the wet tapatio in there and then you shake it yeah sometimes i did that once but now i like to just do the drip drop on the actual chip and just enjoy it oh you sh you saw individually i drip drop yeah do you eat with your hands or do you go chopsticks i ate with my hands but you eat flamin hot cheetos with chopsticks yes because the residue is too much for a lady like sun chips are also very very good because i have the ridges and you can use it with chopsticks why don’t they have doritos that are ribbed for your pleasure because they’re already ribbed for whose pleasure the roof of your mouth oh no that’s like serrated for your pain that’s different doritos trojans are written for your pleasure doritos are serrated for your paintings between ribbed and serrated it’s just you’re oh my god one life did you just watch the movie seven recently jesus you love that movie so i bet you do i bet you do so you think that like let’s go through the line of cheesy chips out there okay uh i don’t know why you mentioned sun chips harvest cheddar love them but i mean compare the actual taste of the cheese powder like think about your mind works well with the wheat works well with the wheat it does because it’s sweeter yes that doesn’t mean that it is the best tasting cheese powder it works well for what it’s on okay what are the other cheese powders ruffles sour cream and cheddar that’s to me that’s a heavy hitter oh so good that’s a heavy hitter but see i wouldn’t even consider that like a cheese chip what i don’t know why what do you think that’s like the cheese the sour cream throws you off well the not the nacho in the nacho cheese it throws you it throws you on it turns you on that’s why i think nacho cheese doritos are better nicole no no no because it’s not just a cheese yeah it’s nacho cheese they’re spicy but but then what’s the difference between that and spicy nacho spicy nachos got more spices which is better but but nacho cheese no there’s like uh eight percent more cayenne four percent less buttermilk powder does that mean nothing to you like i mean it’s hard to keep up with you what bad color is the spicy nacho pink uh it’s like a magenta the spicy notch i like that i like that yeah visual standpoint i’m into salsa verde is a fantastic flavor again that was what nobody buys that okay salsa verde is too it’s an og chip it’s a legacy chip that i think they’ve come out with better flavors since but you taste it it’s still good salsa verde is to cool ranch a spicy nacho is to nacho cheese no way sure it is huh and what world are they they share and what is their eight percent spicy four percent buttermilk well not necessarily that but i’m saying you took you took the the the acidic nature the acidic vegetal nature that’s what cool ranch is right there was no vegetable nature in colorado there is bell pepper dehydrated in there what other chips are adding bell in it that’s like the most vegetable tasting vegetable no not whenever it has a ton of msg okay and and and buttermilk powder and all the other crap that’s in there no okay so there’s no vegetables in cool ranch doritos let’s get this straight no no hold up they’re different one a serving of cool range doritos is considered a vegetable it’s like fourth broccoli by the uh whatever lobbying group hits up the showboards sure to put it on so i fully believe that two i think the devil is in the details in a lot of these chips uh-huh extrapolate and i think in ways that people don’t really understand so um i i once not to humble brag got to go to the taco bell test kitchen oh [Music] big diabetic energy did you did you know you’re uh my family really struggles with it i’m just so sorry yeah no you know insensitive to your familial genetics you know we’re trying to make it work anywho at the taco bell facility i was like talking to one of their chefs and they had just this like big old rack of spices and they’re like yeah like we got this paprika imported from morocco because we found out it’s the best tasting paprika and it was kind of one of these things where i was like oh everybody just imagines at these big processed food companies that they’re just dumping bags of chemicals into a vat and it turns into your food which is i think kind of true but kind of true but how those chemicals get into that bag is like a very curated process so like i’m saying it’s not just a dump it’s not just like a dump it’s like no it’s like there’s science like you have focus groups that are testing out the right amount of bell pepper powder of course add to that and not only that like you have food scientists who are going in being like the correct ratio of fat absolutely doritos this and that is going to counter the amount of citric acid you’re going to need and then and so for me tell me the devil in the details it’s that little hint of spice and citric acid with the nacho cheese it’s the it’s the green bell pepper and tomato in the cool ranch that makes it so beautiful and sets it apart from all these other chips you know what i mean i know but like when you say the green flecks that’s visual that’s what you want that’s what i’m saying but there’s no t when you taste you’re like hints of green pepper and tomato no one is doing no one’s saying that do you do that the details nicole nicole the greatest trick the devil ever played is convincing you that he didn’t exist the greatest trick doritos ever played devil i don’t need to believe in the devil exactly humans are the real devils that’s right and that’s that’s the um in the shape of water yeah humans nicole you thought the i’ve never seen it you thought the horny fish there’s a horny fish man my mom told me there’s a horny fish yeah it’s a great movie but here’s the thing um people he looks like a monster yeah the real monster is is the guy who has them like chained up it’s us it’s humans nice but let me tell you and then in the other oh go ahead michael michael shannon was the real monster that’s i don’t know you don’t know michael shannon not by name being john malkovich was made today it’d be michael shannon hmm let me see what he looks like yeah i know michael shannon played uh oh yeah he has one of those faces yeah he’s a monster maybe yeah yeah yeah he’s a great actor we love michael shannon definitely scary man like if i see him walking in a dark alley i’m going the other way i’m going to go like oh my god michael shannon big fan of your scary face wow the lines in his face scare the crap out of me okay um no let’s get back to the topic at hand josh whenever there’s a bowl of cole ranch doritos or nacho cheese doritos which one are you taking a handful of more than once it’s got to be cool ranch because of the science in there the msg and all the yummy bits make you want to eat it more the cheese is good i’m not gonna deny that the cheesy chip it’s a good cheesy chip but the cool ranch it takes over everything if it’s there it’s the first bowl that’s being emptied out there’s nothing else that you can compare to it it is the most popular when you get a really sorry my mouth is like watering when you get like a really saturated like chip you know when the chip is like triple dipped with all the powder on the outside doesn’t that bring joy you don’t feel that with a nacho cheese chip you don’t even get to see it it’s the same color same opaqueness same thickness if it’s triple triple dows but you don’t get that with cool ranch when you see chorus it has more flavor and like oh that one i’m gonna get that one and then when you see it folded you’re like oh my god that’s awesome like cool ranch just is more it’s it’s a more better experience cool range is more cool bridge isn’t it and do we not deserve more in this world we have been living in excess our whole lives and we should continue excessiveness is the name of the game especially with your doritos and i’m sick and tired of everyone saying nobody but this is no it’s always around cool ranch it’s only going to be a cool ranch except if i’m at taco bell the doritos locos taco has to be nacho cheese what the hell that’s the only part that’s the only time we get already no no no no no no no no they discontinued it in 2019 the cool ranch i don’t know if they brought it back yeah because cool ranch and taco bell don’t make sense but cheese and flamin hot make sense that’s true so they never i don’t think they ever had flamin hot which is really weird no they called it fiery really they didn’t call it flamin hot and that’s one of the weird things one so the doritos logos taco um i more often i order fiery over any of the other ones and also if you ask them they will split a fiery oh they didn’t have a flamingo as like a soccer they don’t currently have it right now i don’t know if they do or not but i remember it being flamin hot yeah they also have one called fiery and they discontinued that they brought that back um everything i believe that happened with the doritos locos taco um was like almost like a handshake deal yeah between frito-lay and and taco which i believe they’re all under pepsico so it’s just like i mean everything every company is just owned by one company like mythical is probably owned by procter and gamble no it’s not but it’s somewhere down the line i’m just saying that it would have been in our 401k because if we knew that follow the money if we knew that it was a publicly traded company we would have known and we would have had stocks in it we are a johnson i bought it right a lot of after how successful the vaccine was and how much everybody loved it said it was totally the best one are you a proctor or or my proctor who’s gamble who’s proctor who’s gamble is that a gamble what proctor and gamble okay who’s proctor who’s a proctator and who’s the gambler like you have to give like proc date exams what are we talking about no you don’t know what a proctor is it’s obviously a thing [Music] we live in a world that’s go go go and listen sometimes you just need a break or a break break break if you will yeah you’ve already earned some fun so have it it’s like giving yourself permission to eat dessert first i love eating a nice piece of pie before the steak with best fiends the dessert of adventure puzzle games you can have fiendish fun anywhere anytime best fiends is a free to download mobile puzzle game with thousands of exciting levels for new adventures and challenges every time you play yeah and there are dozens of unique fiends to collect so you can customize your team of fiends to defeat the menacing slugs power up your favorite fiends to new levels for even more powerful skills and watch them transform as they get stronger zoinks they grow up so fast don’t they they really do nicole with offline play you’ll never be stranded without fun even if you lose your internet connection brand new events and challenges pop up all year round so you’ve always got a chance to earn exclusive in-game items characters and rewards and it’s just so freaking easy to pick up and play a few levels anytime and before i knew it i was on level 370. wow that’s crazy but i get it it just feels so good every time i beat a new level it feels so good so stop pressuring yourself to put off fun until you deserve it you’ve earned your fun time go to the app store or google play to download best fiends for free plus earn even more with five dollars worth of in-game rewards when you reach level five that’s friends without the r best fiends i believe okay you’re talking about at a party you got two bowls yeah you got cornish doritos in one nacho cheese in the other i admit that i would gravitate towards cool ranch yeah but i believe that humans are also very bad at estimating their own happiness and i believe we don’t i don’t i think that humanity what there’s no faith in humanity no no i believe that if i i would gravitate towards the cool ranch doritos however i think nacho cheese would ultimately bring me more happiness and so and again i didn’t know that because i always thought cool ranch was like the cooler choice nacho cheese is the lame choice nacho cheese is the boring the vanilla choice no one is saying that it’s boring and it’s vanilla it’s just it’s just your animal instincts will tell you to eat the cool ranch more because it’s there for you but the the doritos the nacho cheese is brighter colored okay i understand that but the colors in the prism of the chip are more enticing in the cool ranch look at it like looking into a dime yeah the diamond isn’t cool because it’s clear it’s cool because it’s prismatic it’s it’s multifaceted like human beings that’s what i’m saying dude we the the cool ranch doritos is like looking into a mirror for humanity sure it’s super flavorful it’s multiplied it has so many colors it’s so intense and and you just want more of it it’s like life man you want more life and that’s the chip that’s the doritos man it’s the cool rancher it’s nothing but that’s it what else do you want from me thank you america uh no dude okay yeah i’m officially convinced uh and i think you’re right and okay as a person would you nicole would you rather live a life okay so imagine what’s up your stuff i’m not trying to like gotcha on anything doritos now at this point i agree cornish areas are better you get a more uh engaging enticing experience yeah i still believe that the nacho cheese powder on a nacho cheese dorito is the best cheese powder in the game it’s good uh-huh but i believe that it’s it’s a more peak and mentally stimulating experience to eat a cool ranch ship which is just a freaking delight and life is very short you should be out there seeking mental stimulation yeah and so now that we you know still have to do a podcast i’m just gonna ask you about life philosophy okay i’m down would you okay so if you imagine your happiness level right sitting at let’s say the median is a five okay your whole life you’re a happier person you’re above a five but imagine for the thought exercise you’re sitting at a five year okay okay would you rather exist at a five your entire life or go up to seven down to two up to ten down to zero to average out at five obviously that one well it’s not obvious for some people what some people are like no i value the consistency if you ever just meet someone you’re like it’s friday night drinking my celestial seasonings tea and going to bed at 10 p.m and i enjoy that there are a lot of people who want to remain at that five i do have that five sometimes sure and those those are nice days but you value diversity of experience of course i do even if it means being disappointed even if it means heartbreak that’s okay right i think everyone needs to experience heartbreak at least three times in their life not just once i think people need three times that’s excessive come on no no you need to you need to hit rock bottom and you also need to feel the highest point of joy and both of those and you don’t need to chase to either of them to feel like successful yeah i think human beings need to experience extreme lows and extreme highs and then you’ll even out eventually hoping that you don’t have any chemical imbalances in your head and hoping that you don’t become addicted to either feeling i don’t see why human beings you need to experience everything within reason no i agree with that to me that’s like the thing that makes life worth living sure right and understanding that by chasing the highs you’re invariably going to reach some of the lows yeah and you know for some people maybe it’s drinking uh twinning’s tea instead of celestial bear tea now the celestial one has like a weird cult background too does anybody know about that no maggie just look up celestial seasonings tea no what’s twinnings it’s like it’s like is it called twinnings or winnings is it twinning’s 20 yeah we sort of the crappy catering company yeah like life is all about trying new things and you know if you see two bowls of chips in front of you and they’re both doritos and one of them is salsa verde and the other one is sweet chili eat both of them man who cares no but that that like goes into i mean i think one of the reasons we are both in food is that uh meggy’s looking at the cult origins celestial seasonings love this maggie report back when you got some facts i think one of the reasons you and i are both in food is because food is a very it is such a hedonistic pursuit yeah that is of course rooted in history and culture and all that but like you’re just you’re putting stuff in your mouth that makes you go mmm that you really enjoy and also there’s infinite variety therein which is cool as hell yeah of course we’re lucky that we get to do that i do agree that hedonism definitely catches up to you oh yes yeah it’ll get boring after a while let me tell you at 29 years old i’ve learned that even living a hedonistic lifestyle for the majority of life is not a good way to learn but like you only have that clarity because you did that yeah if i didn’t do that would have been bored out of my gourd no i can only appreciate my the reason i wanted to say nacho cheese is better is only because i have been to the mountain top nicole i have i have eaten the uh spicy jumpin pepper jack dorito 3ds you know what i mean i have eaten they came out with a flavor called just like xd13 that was a mystery flavor and i have eaten that i ate all three levels of their scorching challenge doritos and so now i can rest in that comfort of nacho cheese but also i agree with you that you should be seeking those more interesting experiences yeah i mean you are also the the diamond what is what’s the thing called the the needle odometer you are the you are geiger counter odometer seismograph you are these are sigmoidometer i like that one sphygmomanometer manometer what’s this figure is that it’s just is that one of the heart rates i don’t know but let’s just go with odometer you need to determine your own odometer whenever it comes to trying things some people are gonna like want to climb mount everest yeah okay and that’s their thing they want to chase that high they want to do it and they want to be successful at it some people want to go and switch out their i don’t know their hair conditioner for something a little bit less toxic like who cares everyone has their own level of adventure and everyone has their own level of trying new things and i think that chip flavors are a great place to start dude like dead as seriously oh yeah yeah yeah if you had words of encouragement for somebody who was stuck because i’m imagining a lot of the tweets that we’re going to get from this and people like i’m nacho cheese till the dad i only eat nacho cheese doritos and i think there are a lot of people like that yeah also i thought naj would use the original i didn’t well i knew that doritos like toasted corn was the og flavor i like that the the yellow bag i like that it’s good yeah it’s plain plain flavored doritos but it’s like a very good light tortilla chip it’s a good plane and then i didn’t realize the second flavor was taco yeah taco with the og packaging i knew they had the retro packaging but i didn’t know that was actually the second flavor ever it was and then nacho cheese is like 74. cool ranch came in 86. no one buys the taco flavor no about it it’s it’s human it’s cumin what people think is in tacos it’s like very rarely used in mexican food it’s used in some you get some moles of cumin seeds yeah sure if you have any advice for somebody who is like they’re stuck in a dorito rut or they’re stuck in a food rut in general what do you tell them don’t hang out with hedonists why not do it because no do it little by little because you can get like really jaded like yeah you can you can really like blow a fuse and that’s the worst like just do it on your own accord like don’t be scared like don’t be scared to like try something new yeah but don’t do it on your own accord no no let people push you let people push your chip boundaries no no no no no no no i think you i think you need i think you need the instigation maybe i think people some people need instigation but also it can be seen as peer pressure and that’s not good either instigation is your pressure true too but some light empathetic peer pressure like what like give me an example no can you do some light empathetic peer pressure on me yeah what do you want to do what do you want what horizons do you want to expand i don’t know what what do you think i should do okay um have you ever uh uh been skydiving uh i’ve been paragliding oh really god i’ve never done any of that i don’t want to do anything that sounds funny i love that stuff no i don’t want it peer pressure me into it okay go ahead flip that responsibility hello josh have you ever thought about bungee jumping no i’m afraid i’ll poop my pants out of fear have you ever pooped your pants not being scared yes was it that bad it was at ralph’s i pooped my pants at ralph’s and i was wearing tight shorts and in very thin underwear and it was just it was just a shart was that was that and so it wasn’t like well no because here’s the thing nicole i’m very glad you asked that we can talk about the story sure because it was pretty solid oh the poop was solid and so i could just feel it there kind of mashing around yeah like a melted candy bar in your car i get it shirt right so it wasn’t like it was like running it wasn’t showing hey have you ever talked to it i still and i still need it do you make your therapist laugh no never never talk about it they scare me and so you should be oppression meaning therapy therapy but here’s the thing is i was like halfway done with my shopping and i was like well if i go home to take care of this uh or i also don’t want to abandon my shopping cart was this in college uh no adult just like just like a man so you could have just like you could have just a man about that you haven’t bailed the cart and then you could have just ordered it on amazon um yeah in there but i would have had to pay an extra you know like 13 minute delivery no not if you have a card over 35 dollars i’ve told you this before yes where were you when i pooped my pants seven years ago you know it was one of those days after drinking when you talk about hedonism that’s a risky run yeah yeah you get the dads yeah the day after drinking squirts i don’t call them dad you don’t call the dads i just call it me time no i call i call it wicked case of the dads you were saying about paragliding oh yeah um you should just come punchy jumping with me one time have you ever thought about doing something adventurous um you mean like no why do i like sexually adventurous anything anything why do you always have to put sex on it i don’t know because that’s just what i thought i got like i don’t like the i don’t like adrenaline i don’t you know why not you don’t know that the idea feeling of your heart fluttering it uh it reacts negatively to me instead of how do you know how do you know because i’ve experienced it and i’ve felt it and it makes me feel bad have you ever felt it in a in a happy context have your heart has we got real drunk on that roller coaster that one time at disneyland yes i like that you did yeah it made me go on a loop-de-loop and i drank we drank a bunch of tequila at that restaurant earlier we did we did yeah yeah do you remember how much fun that was yeah now imagine that level of fun times like i did a rope swing once yeah where was it uh bass lake oh yeah and i and like when you hit the water did it hurt a little but it was fun you know what’s the cool thing about bungie you never hit anything you just kind of hang you like you like bob oh god the thought of that you want to throw nicole what are your top five favorite chips of all time yeah top five do i have to do that right now like oh you’re top five i’ve already told you this i don’t have top five doritos i like cool ranch you have that is the only dorito flavor you like that’s the only one i care about fire habanero you don’t care about that no you don’t care about blazing buffalo blue you don’t care about spicy sweet chili nicole you don’t care about flamin hot limon uh not in a doritos context not into you would rather have that in a cheeto hell yeah i’d rather have it in a cheeto hell yeah i want an uh ilote flavored dorito and i would love that sweet corn flavor but i want a fair amount of spice some tajin and then like powdered cotija on there that is my doritos tahini chips if you can make that happen um that would be really huge for us but no i agree with you that i you have swayed me i still come away with this with an appreciation for nacho cheese doritos great and i accept that they are the best cheese chip in the market you don’t have to agree i don’t but i do think that cool ranch is the gateway to making your life more exciting accepting the fact that cool ranch is more interesting than nacho cheese and deserves more of your time if not for anything else but to jump to those tapatio flavored doritos which is to say to jump outside your comfort zone if that may be the case then i think it’s worth it god bless [Music] what do you think when you hear high quality meals certain ingredients a particular price range do you think of dining out or cooking at home well if you chose quality ingredients with an affordable price that you can cook at home then butcher boxes for you butcher box takes the guesswork out of finding high quality meat and seafood you can trust they have 100 grass-fed beef free-range organic chicken pork raised crepe-free and wild caught seafood and it’s humanely raised no antibiotics or added hormones that’s the benefit of butcher box peace of mind and you can get just what you want delivered right to your doorstep there’s free shipping for the continental us and no surprise fees so choose your box and customize it to your heart’s desire that’s right butcher box offers so many choices for customization enjoy a range of high quality cuts that are hard to come by at the grocery store at an amazing value and with exclusive member deals you can save big on your favorite cuts get recipe inspiration guides tips and hacks some are even personalized so you can cook up mouth-watering meals like the other day i made the most bang and roast garlic buffalo chicken tendees nicole i fried them in like the cast iron so you get a little bit of caramelization yeah they were absolutely delicious so on top of being convenient and affordable i know i’m gonna have a tasty meal when butcher boxes involved take chicken breasts off your grocery list butcher box is offering our listeners an incredible deal that they’ve never offered before free chicken for a year holy smokes free chicken that’s right get two pounds of free-range organic chicken breasts for free in every order when you sign up at butcherbox.com hotdog claim this deal at butcherbox.com hot dog all right nicole i’ve heard what you and i have to say now it’s time to find out what other wacky ideas are rattling out there in the twitterverse sign for a segment we call opinions [Music] really beat me to the punch on that one all right first up we have a note on celestial seasonings tea um okay so this is an article from food and wine that make you hold up i’m gonna read verbatim um besides enthusiasm for tea mo siegel one of the co-founders was an avid believer in a quote new age bible called the urantia book first published in 1955 the bible is inspired by seventh-day adventist movement except that it was supposedly communicated to an unknown man possessed and put into a trance by aliens yes aliens uh say it was more than likely written by william sadler a turn of the century psychiatrist who also published three books about eugenics and had a deeply rooted racist philosophy well you know uh that’s the t on that i suppose pretty messed up pretty messed up did you know that the t stands for truth like drop the t like spill the t oh t stands for truth oh i did not know that it was like when i found out what stan meant mm-hmm yeah yeah dido sample uh what’s the yeah what’s the cult behind dr bronner’s the soap sudstars they’re like no they have like a bunch of weird kind of philosophy written on their soap bottles yeah i call them sudsers all right uh first up we got at calebcandy1 cucumber gatorade is the best gatorade all the other ones just tastes like salty dextrose i do love some salty dextrose though and they are right that’s like the main it’s just salt sugar citric acid yeah some artificial flavoring um love me the limon pepino the cucumber lime gatorade yeah really freaking good uh great little cocktail mixer too because you get all that cucumber flavor i love cucumber gatorade this is david’s favorite good red flavor of all time oh yeah we love him yeah he’s great uh jamie underscore leigh 13 says garlic hummus on an everything bagel is delicious it sure is this is this is jewish culture whether you like it or not nicole this is jewish excellence at its best i think it’s great i think i think this is a non-denominational snack i agree i think it’s it’s delicious i will say garlic hummus though uh-huh is just you saying i know better than the musia that made this and it needed more garlic that’s not true because homeless already has garlic in it so they want god that’s what i’m saying they want more they’re just saying hey your original recipe for the homos wasn’t good enough i know better than you that’s like saying i like i like black beans but i want to put a little bit more onion in my black beans yeah you are saying you’re better than the beanie and the bean people and the beans that sounds terrible what is it no i i don’t i’m not i’m just sketching about nothing here um but i i just when i see like roasted garlic hummus i’m like all you’ve done is you’ve you’ve made the garlic flavor less potent in the chromos and that’s okay and that’s fine it’s a reference my favorite hummus is his hummus flavor oh that’s okay that’s fine what’s your favorite oh the roasted tomato would be the one that has the the one that has the pine nuts on it oh that’s so good barbie pine nuts yo trader joe’s got some great pre prefab hummus out there trader joe’s says traditional mediterranean hummus yeah i don’t even take a stance on putting a country name just like mediterranean i like that a lot listen they you know the the modern nation state pretty pretty new invention everyone was eating hummus for a long time not to get political on it i mean like that wasn’t i was just saying like it’s popular you know what i mean okay music underscore helps underscore me orange juice and oreos i’ll tell you another combination me and not that i’d do it i don’t really care citrus and chocolate you like that you like that i love you know the little oranges you smack on the table but that’s not that’s like orange stink like it’s not orange juice i get it i get it i get it it’s the essence let me tell you what i would do which makes more sense i would scrape out the center and just see the black cookies with the orange juice really the black pink if anything i want to the orange juice i want to blend just the cream with the orange juice oh make it creamsicle yellow greens do you like pulp into no i hate pulp i love pulp i like extra pulp i like pulpy i like drinks with chunks to be clear i love me a good chunky drink yeah or like you even get the dried mint on a duke yeah you know that’s like that’s the pulp that i want or the coconut water with the pulp you get the little jelly oh yeah yeah yeah i love coconut water with the little chunks of coconut yeah yeah um just or chia seed oh my god chia or basil seed yeah drink lovely it’s the only thing i don’t like pulping is orange juice because it’s the pulp is so small that it’s in there’s so much of it i saw it i saw the first episode of the rehearsal drinking hair and he said he wants orange juice without pulp yeah that’s the first that’s the title of the first episode of it oh really isn’t it where’s your snow pulp well there you go orders at a bar yeah yeah yeah i don’t think i’m going to watch any more of it i think i think nathan fielder is manipulative and and and no other reality show has ever manipulated anybody and that’s my stance oh what a they pulled off some of the most incredible things yeah i need to watch it by myself david doesn’t like it no i think like all tv is bad for society and so i think you know for me i’m morally neutral and everything oh that’s bad too that’s really bad you’re morally neutral on everything i’m saying like most tv you can’t you can’t call you can’t like look at cherry pick one show and be like the manipulated people now let’s go watch love island or whatever like no come on this is reality tv everything’s manipulated everything’s produced grow up read a newspaper pdp says ketchup and grilled cheese is goaded yes it is indeed yeah and i say any grilled cheese too it doesn’t just have to be american doesn’t just have to be cheddar give me like a yeah give me like a like like a brie nicole [ __ ] free but no i’m saying like you get like a fancy ketchup no yeah no oh yeah you know when they put like strawberries balsamic ketchup with all spice berries and some caraway i’m gonna put you in food jail big prosciutto freaking brian sava ranch that’s not even ketchup anymore at that point that’s a chutney you talking about chutney ketchup chutney girl give me that i want a grilled cheese right now i’m hungry i just ate a big old sandwich and a couple tacos all day until this podcast yeah we haven’t seen each other this is why we’re all weird at abroad would you consider falafel a vegan nugget sure abu robb ahmad i don’t know i don’t know why i hit ahmad i’m saying so much if it well that’s if it’s would you consider falafel a vegan nugget yes absolutely sure um and one of the one of the things i dislike about modern vegan nuggets vegan burgers all that yeah is that the perfect vegan burger in vegan nugget has existed for millennia and it’s called falafel i don’t love falafel that much can i tell you why sometimes i get some dry falafels and it really grinds my gears i think some falafel is not good and it’s like deep fried and it’s not even good deep fried it’s like badly fried and it’s just nasty but like i need to go have some if you have any falafel recommendations in the los angeles area i will go just tell me where to go i dig on joe’s i dig on joe’s falafel i like dunes falafel i didn’t have you ever have mad capra no the there was the people from uh whatever uh falafel arrax okay okay i’ll go we’ll go get good flawful no but i’ve had a lot of bad falafel too like to me the mark of good falafel it might be a regional thing because i’ve noticed there’s certain countries that don’t do good for my personal taste okay but to me if you break it open and it’s like a pale brown that’s not gonna be a good falafel yeah if you p break it open and it’s a wet dark green that’s a good flavor yeah and i think if you take that and like that oh just that perfectly perfectly spiced freshly toasted cumin freshly toasted coriander ground up in there with all the parsley all the herbs it’s like a good falafel is a transcendent experience with the trina nicole we need to eat more falafel yeah i’m gonna next time we have lunch at work i’m gonna request that we go to a place that has like one of the new places that you see waffle iraq’s dude we should order it e m carpenter 15 says noodles in my chili my answer no that’s chili mac let’s frickin talk about this i don’t know what the putting noodles in your chili oh my god look at that so so so a while ago we talked about i talked about the idea that chili doesn’t exist chili certainly exists we’ll we’ll talk about that later beans and chili regional styles all that um some people like texans right ebola texas red that is rooted deeply in northern mexican chile chile con carne right like a real mexican dish and it’s just a delicious stew it’s like carne and suhugu it’s a stew of meat and spices and maybe some onions and it’s delicious yeah but what they’re talking about is ohio chili okay what’s that so you’re talking about like skyline chili cincinnati the stuff they put on spaghetti there’s a place here that does it right is that chili john’s oh chili john that’s not sky that’s like a that’s a very kind of non-denominational chili it’s famous yeah yeah it was um created by i believe a macedonian immigrant nice kind of got that like balkan sort of flavor profile a lot of warm spices a lot of like kind of red wine but probably not really a ketchup anywho point is in ohio for whatever reason i took a recruiting trip to case western reserve in cleveland and they’re like we’re known for our chili mac and i was like what the hell is chili mac and they put macaroni noodles in the chili or they’ll put a scoop of chili on mac and cheese and kind of bake it off and then when you keep like going down the rabbit hole you find these weird regional variations of noodles inside chili interesting like in columbus or something called johnny marzetti if anybody has ever eaten proper johnny marzetti or know what the heck i’m talking about leave a voicemail for us on the voicemail line we’ll tell you the number later i’ll tweet it out there but i want to know because there’s a lot of like weird regional variations or um even look up look up american goulash is there somebody named johnny marzetti that made this uh yeah won the 2012 heisman no that’s johnny manziel um what no nobody here knows anything about football what is american chop suey american chop suey also american goulash is another thing but they’re all some variations of like tomatoey spiced ground meat with noodles in it huh and it’s like a it’s a i mean hamburger helper is what it is sure yeah which is a delight but it’s not something that i’m ever looking for in a chili experience interesting i think i gotta try this i think i’d be all about it i love pasta and everything so i love me just a good casserole bake with noodles holding it all together it’s nice it’s nice and i would spice it up with whatever i wanted yeah at talia tapper ice cream is best when it’s very cold outside huh i’m thinking about this and i’m thinking why they would say something controversial that’s yet so brave i actually sent that gift to someone today saying that the georgia lopez show is better than game of thrones [Laughter] so uh no one on game of thrones has a burrito named after them at a taqueria in paramount i mean paramount jordan lopez i mean the theme songs can’t even compare them i mean listening to little writer by ward um ice cream’s best one’s cold outside okay so when it’s cold outside you’re hold on you’re supposed to eat cold thing no you’re supposed to eat hot things when it’s warm outside hot things cool you down because it stimulates a body regulation yeah you know i’ve heard that and people are like oh people in india do this well i don’t believe it man it’s hot outside i need a bottle of cold water yeah it’s kind of like one of those things where if you stub your toe people like punch yourself in the face it’ll make you yeah it’s like yeah you’re technically right but then my face hurts it’s like having like caldo when it’s hot out like there’s a whole meme about that like i’m sure it works but if i had to choose when it’s 100 degrees outside to have a cup of chai or have a a glass of cold water i’m probably going to go for the cold i don’t know i thought you said glass of cold milk and i was like yeah give me all the milk maybe cold milk i like milk i drink milk by the glass i will eat ice cream though during any weather any time i love it i just i’m a big fan say i’ll eat it i tried a new ortiz ice cream the other day did not like it were you in new york no i was in santa barbara and it wasn’t the santa barbara based ice cream place that i love well why did you try i’m not gonna say what it is because i don’t i’d like to talk about the good food why did you do that it was it was next to the restaurant i had great uh great pizza out there and then i did not enjoy the new artisan ice cream that i had somehow never had that’s okay okay this is funny uh melinda8513 says cheese whiz on arrowroot cookies is delicious what is why i know what arrowroot powder is like the flower but you know who like primarily uses it is it lactating women well no i was going to say vegan gluten-free people oh i thought maybe like stimulating they’re eating cheese whiz wait why would it why do you think arrowroot stimulates lactation there’s like weird lactation cookie and like lactation like a like biscuit recipe so i was thinking maybe this has to do lactation biscuits are biscuits that stimulate lactation not biscuits made with lactation in them you can yeah i think it you can’t feed people your body secretions without them knowing i’m pretty sure well which ones because there’s decorations is that anything secretions what if you your sweat’s gonna get you know you’re working hard to get yourself what’s gonna get some of the food like i’m just like i’m not saying like pissing the chowder but i’m just saying that any yeah i don’t think you should no why are they putting cheese was on arrowroot i don’t i don’t know that’s why it was funny to me the words didn’t make sense like an ai wrote this yeah made me itch i don’t believe i’ve ever had an air root cookie i’ve never cooked with arrowroot i had a vegan roommate who cooked with arrowroot and that’s the only thing i know arrowroot is baby there’s baby food that’s made out of arrowroot oh interesting like littlefinger you know when they’re is that what they’re talking about when they’re like oh i can i can’t i’m a crawler i can pick things up with my fingers now i have a feeling there’s like a mandela effect with cheez whiz oh you’d think they’re talking about spray cheese i think it’s talking about easy cheese which is the one that comes out of a nozzle and cheese whiz is the one that comes out of a jar yeah that’s right i have a feeling that’s what they’re talking about we should talk about food mandalas that’s just dollar mandela i don’t know the difference we should talk about that on the pod one time i would love that we got to figure out if there’s any what are other ones that exist chick-fil-a cheese it oh chick-fil-a not having cheese it versus cheez-its there’s like a bunch yeah if we if you really want to do pockets brains hot pockets brand sandwiches exactly you know there’s so many there’s so many uh one more one more one okay let me do it oh it’s your turn sorry if you want to do it no i don’t want to do it all right at chichi roo you tay one you peel the whole banana before eating it damn right i do no no way what what do you hold on to banana it gets wet yes fine i’m wet all the time so i just deal with the banana no no no you gotta have like a little it’s a it’s a literal mother nature has made that the handle so your hands don’t get dirty there’s there’s at the end you push it up you ever see the video from uh i think it’s like is it kirk cameron i don’t know he has this whole video about uh creationism he’s like a very big evangelical christian okay and it’s a video called an atheist worst nightmare on youtube have you all never seen this no it’s somebody it’s a british dude arguing why um creationism is proven by the banana because he’s like it has this beautiful non-slip wrapper that you can just hold on to and if you look the curves on your hand are actually perfectly suited for the banana because that’s how british people say banana yeah like pamela and i was like i think that’s arguably a a better argue for evolution yeah exactly evolved to fit any of them okay i like bananas mommy bananas over the heck i want uh i don’t like eating them in public though because it’s like i don’t know because it like it looks and on that note thank you so much for stopping by a hot dog is a sandwich if you want to hear more from us here in the mythical kitchen we got new episodes for you every wednesday if you want to be featured on opinions or like casseroles you can hit us up on twitter at mythicalchef or angelizade with opinion casserole or or or if you want to leave us a voicemail give us a ring and leave a quick message at 833 dog pod one that’s eight three three dog pod one josh is being a sea dog aka a seal and for more mythical kitchen i had to fight a sea lion once for more mythical kitchen check us out on youtube we launch new videos every week see y’all next time so did i did you really of course not you dummy [Music] hey hey hot doggers don’t miss out on the return of the hit series sextember on ear biscuits outright freaking now for those of you who don’t know sex timber is a series of episodes releasing in the month of september the sexiest month where rhett and link talk about sex openly and candidly i think december is the sexiest month cause that’s when hanukkah is sometimes they’ll be chatting with sex experts dr emily morse of the sex with emily podcast and dr emily nagoski sex educator and author of the book come as you are i think may’s the sexiest month rhett and link rhett and link will dispel myths surrounding sex and sexuality and we’ll end the series by throwing it to you to hear about your escapades and answer some personal questions i kind of think august is the sexiest month to get all you get all hot and sweaty anyways the series runs until september 19th so be sure to follow ear biscuits wherever you get your podcasts wherever you get your podcasts we get your podcasts every