Get in loser, we’re going shopping. Okay but I’m not allowed back in Hot Topic ’cause last time I spilled my Orange Julius on their stack of Deftones T-shirts. This is A Hot Dog Is A Sandwich. Ketchup is a smoothie. Yeah I put ice in my cereal, so what? That makes no sense. A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a sandwich. What? Welcome to our podcast A Hot Dog Is A Sandwich, the show where we break down the world’s biggest food debates. I’m your host Josh Scherer. And I’m your host Nicole Enayati. And today we are going to be ranking the top nu metal bands from the early 2000s. Nicole, number one draft pick, who you got? I never listened to nu metal that much, but I know Korn was like the big one. Korn maybe kind of invented the genre. I just know because one time they performed “Twisted Transistor”. ♪ Twisted Transistor ♪ On SNL and he had a really cool microphone. And I remember that specifically. Okay, so today we’re talking about what’s the best mall food, but I think- Yeah, I love the mall. Okay, do you love the mall now or did you love the mall when you were 13 and now when you go back it reminds you of when you were young? It was both. So I loved like the malls that were like untouched, you know what I mean? The malls that were- Like the empty creepy malls? No, no, no. That’s how they feel now. Oh, I know what you’re saying. Like the old malls where there was always an Express, always a Hot Topic. There was a Sbarro. Spencer’s Gifts. I never had a Spencer’s. You never had a Spencer’s? My mall never had A Spencer’s, it always had a Hot Topic. And my mom literally hated when I walked into Hot Topic. Dude, all moms hated Hot Topic. The reason Hot Topic exists is for moms to hate it. My mom literally thought I was gonna like believe in the devil pretty much when I walked into Hot Topic because I thought I was an emo kid. Yeah, that makes sense. Was I an emo kid? And you were probably wearing like shirts. What was the band that their symbols like a upside down pentagram. The Heart-a-gram. Yeah, His Eternal Majesty, Vili Fualaau. Don’t Get Me… Not Vili Fualaau. What’s his name? Vili something. I don’t know. Vili Fualaau was Mary Kay Letourneau’s husband. Oh God, you’re right. His name was Vili though. The lead singer of that band. And I loved His Eternal Majesty. When I think of malls, I get nostalgic for the same time period that you’re talking about when the late night shows and SNL had new metal bands on- Yeah. To perform. Shout out to Kiddie who has a new single out. This isn’t an ad. I’m just a big fan of them. Maggie, new Kiddie single just dropped. Woo! I know she’s a fan now. I don’t. They performed on Conan back, it was cool to see metal, you know, on mainstream TV. And it was cool to walk into a mall and actually be excited and not just be like, “Ugh, this place is absolutely dying.” So I think we can talk about the best mall food from the peak of malls, which for us was probably 15, 20 years ago. I love mall food. And then we can talk about the best mall food now. Okay. How is your relationship to malls different now than it used to be? Like what do you go to the mall for now? Why am I going to the mall? Yes. To do returns at Zara? Wait, to you returns of clothing that you bought online? Yeah. Oh God. Honestly, but lemme tell you, I’m not the biggest online shopper, but I do buy some things online and they never fit my proportions properly, so I always have to return it. But yeah, that’s why I go to the mall or to entertain my niece and nephew. That’s a good point. What did you used to go to the mall for when you’re like 13-year-old Emo Nicole hair just singed and burnt down with the straightener. My hair still does it; it’s still burnt. Taking the top down Myspace photo. Oh my gosh. God, I had to hide my top eight. Drama! Why did I used to go to the mall? Yeah. Because my mom would drag me to the mall to go to Macy’s all the time. My mom lived in Macy’s and Bloomingdale’s. Oh my God. I love that. Did you go with your- My mom had the credit card. Did you go with your friends though? Was it like, oh, we’re just going to the mall to hang out? There was one mall. It’s called the Century City Mall and that’s where everyone from all the schools would go and like hang out. Is that the Century City Westfield? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That’s the mall that Paris Hilton used to like escape her home to go hang out in. Oh really? Yeah. Me and Paris Hilton are the same in that retrospect. That’s like peak mall culture. Yeah, it was great ’cause it was an open mall and like there was so much to do and there was an Apple store and you would go take pictures at the Apple store with your friends like this, and it was fun. And like we would go to the food court and we would always, always, always get Sbarro. Sbarro was the mall food of the meal- And you were excited about it? Yeah, it was great. Are you kidding me? The Stromboli, the baked ziti. Dude, oh my gosh. Also reminder, like I grew up in a Persian Jewish community. We wouldn’t like go and eat Panda Express ’cause you couldn’t eat the chicken ’cause it’s, you know, kosher stuff and like, you know, people would spread rumors and stuff and say, oh they cooked their blank with lard. Oh they cooked their blank with chicken. So we were like, ew, I’m not going there. And we would just go to Sbarro ’cause it was safe. That’s so funny. When’s the last time you’ve been to a Sbarro? Like properly been to a Sbarro? Not we ordered it for the show, but like you deliberately went there to get some strombo and big zit. I’m closing my eyes ’cause I can’t remember. I think I was at the old Westside Pavilion with my mom before they sold it to Apple? Google? I think they sold it to Google, Maggie. Is it a campus now? Yeah. And now they sold it to UCLA. Ah. So it used to be the best mall because they had the best shopping there. So my mom would always go there. Me and my mom would always go there together ’cause my mom didn’t work. She just like, you know, she just- She was a mall rat. My mom and I were mall rats, yes. So we would go shopping there and then we would stand in line of the Sbarro. And I remember I would always, we would sit next to the carousel up in like the corner so I could ride the carousel and eat pizza and ride the carousel and eat pizza. Ride the carousel and eat pizza. So that’s my last memory when I was like 10, 11. No way. You haven’t had it since? How do you think it would hold up? Oh my gosh. Because I’ve eaten Sbarro in the last five years. It was, I think maybe- Are you Michael Scott? No, I know. And I’ve never liked Sbarro. Listen, they do perfectly fine work. People seem to enjoy their pizza. I will say their Stromboli is probably the best thing they have at a Sbarro. Or the spinach. What was that white spinach pie that they had? It’s a white spinach pizza. Yeah. That was also really good. The pasta. I get roughly nothing good in my life from like mediocre red sauce pasta, you know, like I’ll go to a little Tony’s type restaurant. Sure. Which is local spot in the valley. The wettest spaghetti in all the San Fernando Valley. But I just don’t get anything out of taking spaghetti out of a vat of water and putting some red sauce on it. I’d rather have like greasy chow main from either Panda Express or whatever, like local steam table Chinese. Sure. That’s what I want for cheap noodles. Yeah, yeah. But I had Sbarro at, I think it was the Cabo San Lucas Airport maybe. Oh, I know exactly- I think that it’s a sbarro. It’s like a giant food court. Oh my God. I love that food court. They have the best Panda Express there. What do you mean they have the best Panda Express in a Cabo airport? What makes it better than all the other Panda Expresses? It’s just my favorite one because let me tell you, when it comes to airplane food, like going like in a- Airport food and mall food are very similar. I disagree with you. Interesting. I disagree with you a hundred percent because they have a lot of weird local spots that I don’t really like. Oh, in airports? Yeah which I don’t like. They also do that at the mall. But there’s something about airport food. The quality is just so diminished. Mall food doesn’t necessarily have that low of quality. But this isn’t the airplane food episode. So we’re not gonna talk about that. Okay, so mall food has gone through a bit of a renaissance. Okay. Somebody wrote a really interesting article. So when we think of mall food, I think of stuff like Panda Express and Sbarro and there’s like a Charleys Cheesesteaks. Oh my gosh. Charleys Cheesesteaks. They are again, I don’t wanna like poo poo anyone’s food choice. It sucks. Like Charleys Cheesesteaks is bad. Well it’s good. They make the worst cheesesteak I’ve ever had. Really? That’s a little… Is it ’cause there’s lettuce in it? No, I mean that’s the one that’s called a cheesesteak hoagie. And it’s like a common thing and it’s the thing that I enjoy, but it’s just their meat is like gray and lifeless and the cheese never quite steams into it. The bread is very plastic. There’s a great local mini, like not even that many of a chain. It’s a pretty big chain called Philly’s Best that they make- Are they in malls? No, but they should be ’cause they- Instead of Charleys? They’re all around Southern California and like they do pretty good work, especially for a chain. So it’s not like, I just don’t like chain cheesesteak places. But man, somehow Charleys is just in there and I find it pretty terrible. I don’t think it’s that horrible. But you have those old school spots, right? And then now we’re seeing all these kind of fancy malls because malls are dying and so they need… like Westfield Century City. Caruso affiliated malls, Caruso affiliated malls. Why do they have a Sprinkles in there? I don’t wanna Sprinkles, I wanna Mrs. Fields, right? But Sprinkles is the future, right? Like this is where we’re going because now malls are dying. So they need a reason for people to come in. And so they’re trying to… They have a lot more designer type stores that get a lot more tourists in there. Yeah. And then they have these new restaurants. Like Shake Shack to me is the new paradigm of malls, Which sucks because- Sucks. It’s good, yeah. But I want, like, there’s something about crappy mall food that I really like. I agree, but they can’t survive on it. And somebody wrote this really great article for Eater. I wish I could remember who it was, but they were talking about how the way that we view Shake Shack now is the way that our parents viewed Sbarro 30 years ago. Are you sure? We’re like, yeah. Back then they didn’t think Sbarro was crappy back then. Right? They were like cool. Like you can get Stromboli new thing, you know, but like a white pizza with spinach on it. It was something probably a little bit elevated and that was really cool. And that was probably a draw. Dippin’ Dots, right? The way that we view Sprinkles are the way that they viewed Dippin’ Dots. Could you imagine how exciting it would’ve been to dip a dot for the first time? Wow. The ice cream of the future, Nicole. Before we defunded NASA. I just can’t. There’s something so like deeply nostalgic and whenever I say like a Mrs. Fields or Wetzel’s Pretzels or an Auntie Anne’s. Auntie Anne’s. Wait, are you an Auntie Anne’s or a Wetzel’s gal? Oh, I’ll eat whatever pretzels in front of me. I’m not gonna lie. I’m pretty loyal to Auntie Anne’s. You loyal? Not loyal. I eat Wetzel’s, but- I mean the Wetzel dog, it’s pretty damn good. The Wetzel dog’s pretty good. Auntie Anne’s though. If I’m going pretzels, I probably want to go sweet for some reason. Cinnamon sugar. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They have like an almond delight crunch one too. Really? Yeah. Okay, that sounds really good. But there’s something about these, it’s like the nostalgic signage and like the Cinnabon of it all. Like, I don’t know what it is. Cinnabon. Like when you smell a Cinnabon in a mall, you know that you’re gonna get a 50% off clearance at Cotton On. You know what I’m talking about? No, but I do know about cinnamon rolls. I don’t know what Cotton On is. You’ve never been to Cotton On before? I know. I see the signs when I don’t look inside. They’re always on clearance. What is it? Do they sell clothes? Yeah, it’s so fast fashion. It’s ridiculous. Most of the stores in malls aren’t for me. And that’s okay. What do you mean? I don’t know. So many of them, I just don’t know what they do. You’re not a fan of Zales? No, no. I did go to a jewelry store in the mall once to maybe look at an engagement ring, but then it was way more expensive and worse quality than the other stuff. Yeah. But they were like, well, local family owned and I was like, I don’t know. This one has an app, and I can just click what diamonds I want. So I don’t like that. Van store. I go in the Van store. Journeys? What’s Journeys? That’s another store. What do they sell? Shoes. You’ve never been to Journey’s before? They sell men’s shoes? Oh my gosh. Journey’s is so your store. Really? Yeah. Like actually? I walked into a Steve Madden. Do they wait, do they make mens? No Aldo. Aldo makes mens. Steve Madden doesn’t make men shoes. I don’t think so. Okay, well I walked into an Aldo and I got uncomfortable, and I left. Is it- I’m really uncomfortable in malls. Really? Yeah. Have we ever, Josh, we’ve gone shopping together. Me, you and Trevor. Yeah. I bought jewelry for Julia. And you bought a suit and a belt, remember? We went to the Nordstrom Rack? You don’t remember this? Nordstrom Rack wasn’t in a mall though. Oh, what do you consider the Burbank Empire Center? Oh, this is a great distinction. So when we’re talking about best mall food, we’re not talking about best strip mall food because that’s very different. That’s very different because the best strip mall food is always a random Asian restaurant. Correct. Yeah, yeah. It’ll just be like a random fu restaurant that also has like a Korean barbecue on the menu. Yeah, that’s the best strip mall food. That’s right. No, but like that’s different than actual- Mall food. Sure, sure, sure. Okay, so if we’re going to the mall today. Say we have- What are we doing at the mall? I’m gonna say, say we have like a two hour lunch break. Are we gonna go shopping? That’s the pipe dream. Yeah, but say we did that. Like what would we do? What would our itinerary be? What stores we go to more importantly- What mall are we going to? It depends. You can’t- Okay, let’s start with our local one. Let’s start with the Burbank Mall because I- I don’t like that mall because it has a Burlington Coat Factory, and you can never find anything good there. You don’t like the mall because it has a store. You don’t have to go into the Burlington Coat Factory. They’re not forcing you to go into the Burlington- It takes up so much space. Okay. That could have been like a Macy’s or a Bloomingdale’s. Yeah, but you can still just avoid it. You can still just not go in that space. No, no. But it’s not a mall where I can thrive. Okay. No, I get that. But okay. Well it’s just the closest one. It’s not a mall that I can shop in comfortably because it’s just not for me. Well it’s perfect because if we’re looking at this podcast as utility for people to make the best, most efficacious food on what to eat in the mall. Yeah. You know what I mean? Then let’s look at a mall that you maybe don’t like going to. Okay, fine. So we’re gonna the Burbank Mall. Okay, we’re gonna go to the Burbank Mall. You’re gonna walk by the video game store probably and see if they have a new Diablo or a new skin or something for Fortnite. I don’t play Fortnite. I don’t dunno what you kids do. I literally played one video. I play Rocket League and that’s it. And then we’re gonna go and then we’re gonna go see the random shoe cobbler that’s there. Because I dropped off your shoes two weeks ago. Stop by the Army Recruitment Center that’s next to the arcade. Exactly. Go to the arcade and then we’re gonna walk past Sears and then we’re gonna see if there’s a Fashion Nova. We’re just gonna walk by the Fashion Nova to see what’s in vogue. But we were not gonna shop there. And then we’re gonna walk towards the food court and then we’re gonna see some really great options. I am going to go towards my one true love, which is the Mongolian noodle spot. Yes. I’m so glad you’re bringing up Mongolian barbecue at the fricking mall. Mongolian noodle barbecue. Where you self-serve yourself frozen meat. You pour it in a bowl, you put vegetables on top. So unsanitary the cross contamination is abhorrent there. They give you the bowl and then they say what kind of sauces you want? They put whatever sauces. And then on this huge, like what is it like it’s not metal. It’s like stone. A huge black stone. The size of this table. Yeah, in the center in a panopticon. It is hot. And the man has long chopsticks. He pours all your stuff on. He pours the noodles on. The noodles are beautiful. The color of the noodles is something that you can only dream of. It’s like technicolor. Dark orange. They’re like this technic color that’s so unnatural that I love so much. They mix it all up. It steams. There’s no flames, but there’s a lot of steam and there’s drama and he’s using these long chops to go. And then he takes it all and pours it into a styrofoam like clamshell container wraps up in a bag. There’s so much heat. There’s so much heat. It has a 99% chance of leaking all over the bag. But you don’t care. The napkins get wet. They give you chopstick and a fork ’cause they know that you’re a busy woman. You go, you sit down, and you eat it. And it’s the best damn food at the mall. Have you ever eaten Mongolian barbecue outside of a mall? Neither have, I’ve never come close. No, why would I? No. There was one time I almost did where it was a Chinese buffet. All you can eat with a Mongolian barbecue station in Santa Barbara. And I was hung over, and I went there, and I stood by the Mongolian barbecue station. I filled up my bowl with all the frozen meats and nobody came. And I just left the bowl and walked out. But I’ve never had it. I know, but that said, that is a unique mall experience. We’re so lucky to be alive during a time where this is an experience we can like enjoy. I thank God that we missed the atomic bomb, but we made Mongolian barbecue next to a Hot Topic. You know what I mean? No, I know exactly what you mean. I love it. The drama of it all. The fact that it’s like it’s flash frozen, but in my mind I’m like, oh, it’s fresh. They’re cooking it fresh in front of me. Sure and they are. But they’re also cooking all the other food like pretty fresh too. You know what I mean? I don’t know if there’s anything fresh about a Wetzel pretzel. Really? Actually no. They’re either making the dough fresh. You’re right. You can see the raw dough. I have literally gone for GMM to go get Wetzel’s pretzels and the lady said, you need to wait 35 minutes while my dough proves. And I said, yes ma’am. I will say that’s a pretty inefficient model for pretzels. But it’s pretty- It’s not a food that you wait for. But it’s delicious and hot. It’s not like ordering the chocolate souffle at a fine dining restaurant. You know. Like, oh please allow 30 minutes. But I must say my favorite right now in 2024 as a 30-year-old woman, Mongolian barbecue with the noodles, man. Sometimes I don’t get the noodles. Sometimes I just do the stir fry situation, and it’s really good. Get meat, veg, perfect. Sauce. That was my favorite thing at the mall. The Laguna Hills Mall that I grew up going to. Never been. You don’t need to go. I haven’t been back in probably 15 years. I also used to go to the Irvine Spectrum. If anybody remembers Irvine Spectrum. Shout out Maggie. Real nine four nine-ers over here. Okay, let’s look really quick. Burbank Mall. Okay. Here are the entire food options. So you got the food court stuff. So you got stuff like Charleys is in there- He says that was so much distaste. They have a Charleys. Dairy Queen, which I would like never really get a full meal from Dairy Queen. I love me a nice blizzard. I love me a dipped cone. But what Dairy Queen did that saved all of mall culture is they bought out Orange Julius. Yeah. And it’s like Dairy Queen is like, it’s like the snack station. Like that’s what they call it, right? Yeah. It’s not like an actual DQ, but- But well no, I believe this is a grill and chill. Grill and chill. That’s they call it. This is the grill and chill. Yeah, yeah. So you get the chicken tenders with gravy. That’s other unique contribution outside of the sweet world. Mongolian Grill. Love you. I love you. Mongolian Grill, I love you! There is a Mrs. Fields. Love Mrs. Fields. Here is.. Okay, so Julia. See’s, they have a See’s Candies? Yes, I mean you go and get a free sample, right? Oh my God. Were you a free sample kid at See’s? Oh, was I a free sample? If you know anything about my childhood, you know I was a free sample kid at See’s. And then the best is you would like ruminate over it like you were thinking about buying it. You’re like, Hmm. Let’s see how much is the Bordeaux? And how much is a Scotchmallow? The Bordeaux? I was a Scotchmallow girl. Oh my God. It was literal caramel and marshmallows. For people that don’t know See’s Candy. I mean it started in Southern California. Yeah. But they mail it all over the world. Some of the best candy, some of the best chocolate ever. Buttercream surrounded by a chocolate shell is one of my favorite things in the world. The bonbons, all of their technical bonbons. Oh my God. I love them all. I love them all. Okay, so there’s a Panda. Obviously there’s Mrs. Fields. This is a unique thing that Julia grew up eating. Our Julia? Well my Julia. Our Julia. Yeah, our Julia. Sure. No, she is not owned by anybody. She’s her own person. She’s simply Julia’s Julia. Anyways, there’s always some sort of like teriyaki adjacent place. Julia simply calls it mall chicken. Oh. Sometimes it’s called Bourbon Chicken. The toothpick people. The toothpick people. Okay. Sometimes it’s some sort of grilled chicken with sweet sauce. My dad dated one of the toothpick women. Aw, cute. She was very sweet. And she used to bring over just pounds of mall chicken. And they had a couple kinds. They had one called bourbon chicken that was indistinguishable from teriyaki chicken. Never heard of Bourbon chicken before. No, it’s like not a thing. And I don’t know where it came from. It was like, I think called like Fat Tuesdays or something. But it was definitely Japanese owned. Okay. And so I think they flipped their teriyaki recipe. I don’t know. Bourbon chicken. They had another one called honey mustard chicken that was just sugar and mayonnaise on hot chicken. But the toothpick mall chicken, to me that’s a unique mall experience that I love. Me too; me too. Just sugar chicken. I know. But there was something about it where my mom would just say, let’s just get Panda Express ’cause at least we know what we’re getting at Panda. Mm. You know what I mean? Interesting. Yeah, my sister’s a huge- Pretty lateral move. I will say that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My sister’s a huge Panda Express… like she’s the biggest fan. Anytime we go to the mall, she’s like, we’re getting Panda. I’m like, oh there’s a Rubio’s. Or like there’s like a cheesesteak place. She’s like, we’re getting Panda. She’s like, it’s clean, and it’s consistent. And no matter where you go in the world, Panda’s Panda. She’s correct. Yeah. Panda Express really does a good job. So is the other restaurant that you mentioned, Rubio’s. I love Rubio’s. Formerly Rubio’s Fish Tacos, currently Rubio’s Coastal Grill. Rubio’s does good work. Started in San Diego I believe from a San Diego state alum whose family’s from Baja. And they make great fish tacos for a large chain. They make great everything. Every time I go to the Citadel outlets, I know an outlet isn’t a mall, isn’t a strip mall, but the outlet Rubio’s fire no matter what. Their bowls are great. Their salads are great. I feel like I’m doing an ad for Rubio. I know. I just really love Rubio’s. Okay, The last option here at the Burbank Mall, which is a pretty average mall, Panini Kabob Grill. And now this isn’t just Panini Kebab Grill because I go to the Sherman Oaks Mall too, and I go to Massis Kabob. I like Panini more than Massis. You like Panini? I think Massis does a really good koubideh. But that is my typical, if I’m gonna the mall, especially to buy clothing, right? I don’t want to be like super bloaty. I don’t want to eat like a 1500 calories worth of orange chicken and chow mien. I do generally elsewhere in life. But if I want like hey, I just need something to fill me up, I wanna be become responsible here. I’ll get a chicken koubideh wrap, you know? Yeah. Eat it. Nice grilled meats, vegetables. That to me is like sustainable mall food. Do you know what I don’t like? I hate it whenever there’s fast food restaurants in the mall. Oh like just a Carl’s Jr.? Yeah. When I see like a McDonald’s. Shake Shack kind of like is the line between fast cash and like fast food. You okay? Yeah, I had to stretch my back. It felt really nice. Oh, I thought you- You hear it crack? Yeah, I also saw you- That was my cervix. You don’t have one. Do you? Coccyx. That’s here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What’s the cervix? You confused cervix with coccyx. Why does my cervix hurt? Josh, women have cervixes. Well, okay, that seems pretty gender essentialist there. But go on. But you said cervix- The lower narrow end of the uterus is- Because you thought vagina and cock. What is a womb? Let’s go back. Let’s go way back. You know what I hate Josh? ♪ If we could turn back time ♪ ♪ To the good ‘ol days ♪ What were you saying Josh, you know what I hate? Yeah, whenever I’m at the mall and there’s like a fast food joint, like if there’s a McDonald’s in the mall, I’m like, why? Yeah, get outta here, Ronald. I don’t want it. It’s a beastly anachronism. I don’t like it. What is a- A beastly anachronism. I think it might be a Shakespearean reference. Anachronism, it means it’s not of the time and place. Right? Anachronistic, ana meaning like non-time. It doesn’t deserve to be there. Yeah, I agree. Like I would love to see a mom and pop shop. Yeah, I agree with that. I gots a question. Okay. So- I gots an answer. So I’m looking at the list of all the restaurants in the Burbank Mall. They also got stuff like Across the Border, which is like a chain Mexican restaurant. California Pizza Kitchen. CPK. CPK; they have a Zono Sushi, which is a local valley spot. Yeah. They’re full service restaurants, but they’re like not quite enough to stand outside of a mall. Yeah, they need a mall. They need be attached. I actually used to work at a sushi mall kiosk. No way. Thing in Torrance. Oh fun. For about four months. And let me tell you what a wonderful array of people you meet at the mall. It’s such a trip. And it was so difficult just with the demand, like making sushi at the mall. Very hard job. Yeah, I bet. Tip your sushi chefs at mall because you never know what kind of battle they’re facing. They’re making sushi at the mall. It was really crazy. This flooded a memory back into my cerebellum that I did not expect to have. Going to the Laguna Hills Mall, they had an all you can eat sushi buffet called Onami. That looking back I feel like was 15,000 square feet. This was just gigantic. And it would cost like you would pay 17.99 at lunch. Wow. For it. And me and like my buddies, when we’re 12 years old, we scrape up all the money we save from doing little odd jobs. And we would go to Onami. Nice. We’d eat ourselves silly on just, you know, the most frozen food, dyed, what’s the gas? The carbon monoxide tainted tuna that they use to make it pinker. And just guzzle that down. And that was a great time. And also a restaurant that could only exist inside of a mall. Sure, yeah. Currently similar experience. I go to the Kura Revolving Sushi Bar. In the mall? In Sherman Oaks Mall. That is our- It’s in the mall? So I live but don’t find out where I live, but it’s walking distance. I walk a lot. I can walk far. I go on a lot of hot girl walks now, right? Trying to get some low impact cardio. And I’ll often just like walk in a large loop that I end up at the Sherman Oaks Mall. Yeah. And then sometimes like Julia will meet me there and we’ll go to Kura Revolving Sushi Bar. Is she also doing returns at Zara? She does do a lot of returns, yes. Yes, not necessarily at Zara. There’s a new thing that’s happening that I really hate. What? What is it? Tell me. Big full service fancy fine dining restaurants tucked inside of malls that are gross and weird. Yeah. What was that? I went to a restaurant, it’s called Angler. Is it closed now? It’s closed now. It was just in the mall. It reminds me of Vegas, right? Yeah. Where you go to Vegas and you’re in these giant monolithic casinos and everything’s indoors and there’s this restaurant that you’ve heard all these great things about. But it’s just inside a casino, and you can’t see the sun. And that’s what this Angler inside of a mall. The chef is like a three Michelin star chef and food is very interesting, but it was just gross ’cause you’re just in a mall. And I didn’t like that. And you couldn’t like detach yourself from like being like parking at the Beverly Center. Could not detach myself from it. I’m sorry. I don’t have opinions ’cause I don’t fine dine at the mall. Yeah, you shouldn’t. I’d Rather just go to Fatburger. All right. Number one mall food of all time. What’s the best food you’ve ever eaten in a mall? And like the most functional, like when you think of the quintessence of mall food, what is it? It’s gotta be Hot Dog on a Stick. Hot Dog on a Stick baby. Get the pepper jack. It’s so crazy. I love Hotdog on a Stick. The colors. It’s like, what is it called whenever a bird likes shiny things? A magpie? Is that what magpies do? I don’t know enough about the life of magpies. Well that’s what I’m gonna do. It’s when I see it, it’s just like something goes off in my head. I’m like primary colors, primary colors. And it’s just so great. It’s not my, I don’t get it all the time, but if I see it, I want it. I get it and I enjoy it. That’s my answer. I like, what’s the Brazilian barbecue restaurant inside the Century City Mall? Oh my God. This is not a universal experience for most people. Listen, I love a lot of mall food out there. I love Brazilian food. Any Middle Eastern spot inside the mall is my official answer. Get yourself some grilled meats and vegetables and spicy delicious fragrant sauces. That’s what I want in the mall. But when I go to the Westfield Century City- La Vaca. Oh my God. La Vaca, La Vaca. You self-serve from a buffet and you pay by weight, then you just point at the meat and ask them what you want. Love it. And you can get just a lovely, healthy, spicy, delicious meal. They have those poquillo peppers. Yeah, I love- I get a Guaraná soda. Let me tell you, I also will say honor… Okay, so my standings are Mongolian barbecue, Hot Dog on a Sick, Brazilian barbecue. I just love barbecue. I got like a, that one La Vaca Brazilian barbecue spot. I got any sort of Middle Eastern kabob spot. Shout out to Massis. And then I got what’s my third? I don’t know. What’s your third? Is it Mongolian as well? No, I feel like Mongolian, I’m happy to leave it as a moment in time for my childhood. Oh. Oh, mall chicken; mall chicken. Anywhere that has bourbon chicken, some sort of teriyaki, universally ma;l chicken. That’s my answer. Oh, and Dippin’ Dots. Of course. I still think they’re the ice cream of the future. Hey, let’s just go to the mall. What are you doing? Have you ever wanted to learn a second language Or a third? Or more? Well, I have. Right now I wanna learn Arabic because I love listening to Arabic music. Always have. And I finally really wanna know what they’re actually saying. What’s your favorite song in Arabic? Chick Shack Shuck. Dang man; she was prepared. I feel that. No, I feel somewhat ashamed that I’ve grown up in Southern California and also I’ve worked in restaurants where the predominant language spoken is Spanish, and I have a deep, deep love for Mexican food, and I hate that I don’t speak Spanish. I failed it. Really? You don’t speak at all. Okay, you can get by. Yeah, I can get by. I can order at the taco stands and whatnot. But no, like learning Spanish in school was not for me. I’ve picked up more Spanish just from having, you know, Mexican friends who spoke Spanish around me. But that’s the cool thing about Rosetta Stone, right? It’s the most trusted language learning program. It’s available on your computer and your phone and it actually immerses you in the language you wanna learn. Unlike learning in a classroom. Yeah, listening to someone speak simple phrases in Arabic paired with corresponding images and repeating the phrase back is not only helping me learn, but I’m learning how to speak it properly too. It listens to me as I repeat back the phrase and write how I did so I can try it again if I want. It’s really, really cool. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. Rosetta Stone immerses you in so many ways. There’s no English translation. So you’re really learn to speak, listen and think in that language, which is super, super helpful. And it’s designed for long-term retention. Don’t put off learning that language. There’s no better time than right now to get started. For a very limited time, A Hot Dog is a Sandwich listeners can get Rosetta Stone’s lifetime membership for 50% off. So visit rosettastone.com/hotdog. That’s 50% off unlimited access to 25 language courses for the rest of your life. Redeem your 50% off at rosettastone.com/hotdog today. Hey, if you’re out here trying to get incredible deals on premium cuts of meat, well Butcher Box is the way to go. Yeah, I just love how easy the delivery is. You can have it shipped to work, to home. Heck, even maybe the moon. You can’t get Butcher box on the moon. No, you can’t get Butcher Box on the moon. Maybe not the moon, but you get what I’m saying. Like you could have it shipped- Mars, maybe. 2026, we’re going to Mars. They’ve got a lot of great deals that are hard to come by at the grocery store. So not only do you get a high quality meat and seafood you can trust, you’re also taking fewer trips to said grocery store, Nicole. That’s so true. Also, I just love the quality of their red meat. I absolutely love their ribeyes. And recently my box had steak tips in it, and I marinated it in this delicious like chimichurri butter, and I threw it on like the grill, and it came out so perfect. Yeah, you’re a red meat girly. Always. I eat such a ridiculous amount of chicken. I got just a three pound package of their chicken thighs. Yeah. And I put it into a crock pot with a bunch of salsa verde, and I had burritos for days and the chicken was delicious. It was also incredibly convenient. They’ve got free shipping always. Which that’s ridiculous. That’s right. With Butcher Box, you don’t have to worry about what’s for dinner. Butcher Box is offering our listeners the choice of a weeknight meal essential, three pounds of chicken thighs- Get the chicken thighs. Two pounds of ground beef- Protein. Or one pound of premium steak tips for free in every order for a whole year. I’m almost outta chicken thighs. If anybody got any extra chicken thighs, send me some chicken thighs. Plus get $20 off your first order. Sign up today at butcherbox.com/hotdog and use code hotdog to choose your free offer and get $20 off. Josh, honestly, I have a little secret to tell you. I’m listening. Oh. So I am not very good with like money or money management, but, but, but. I heard of this nifty little app called Rocket Money that has legit changed the way I do my spending. You think that’s a secret? You always talk about how you spend money on the most frivolous things and how you forget you’re spending money. What if I told you what? I’m also not the most fiscally responsible person in the world. What a pickle we’re in. The good news is Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, of which I have so many. It monitors your spending, and it even helps you lower your bills. It shows you all of your subscriptions in one place. And if you see something you thought you unsubscribed two months ago, you can cancel it now with a single tap. No more getting on the phone with customer service. Take that Bulgarian track and field streaming services. Yeah, it’s great because if you have push notifications on, they literally let you know, so you’re never caught off guard. All you have to do is take a picture of your bill and Rocket Money takes care of everything else. Isn’t that rad? That’s pretty rad, man. Rocket Money has over 5 million users and has helped save its members an average of $720 a year. That’s a lot of scratch. With over $500 million in canceled subscriptions. Stop wasting money on things you don’t use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com/hotdog. That’s rocket money.com/hotdog. Rocketmoney.com/hotdog. Sporked Jordan Meyer has gone and ranked seven frozen TGI Friday’s apps from worst to best. Head to Sporked and search TGI Fridays to find out how frozen potato skins match up against the frozen spin dip. All right, Nicole, we’ve heard what you and I have to say. Now it’s time to find out what other wacky ideas are rattling out there in the universe. It’s time for segment we call- “Opinions are Like Casseroles”! ♪ Bow now now now now now now now now now ♪ ♪ Now now ♪ Do you want me to- ♪ Bow now now now now now now now now now ♪ I realize you’re singing. Let’s get that first opinion then. My name is Jude. I’m from Boise. I’m sitting here watching Chopped, and I think Josh would be really good at Chopped. Josh, would you go on Chopped? Josh, you should go on Chopped. And also you should try Log Cabin maple syrup on Rice Krispies. Yes. I tried that one night and oh my God, it’s so good. Sounds like Trevor. I used to put honey on my Rice Krispies. Now I put Log Cabin. Interesting. Okay, bye. Doesn’t he have like a similar cadence to Trevor when he says, “Oh my God” ? There’s a similar way he said, “Oh my God”. Wait, is that a Boise accent? I dunno, but it sounded like Trevor when he says, “Oh my God”. Because I think you and I have similar things with vocal fry and uptalk, which would belay our Southern California upbringing. Sure, sure. So certainly, certain Accenture, Boise upbringing. Chopped; Chopped. I feel like I would crush. I feel like I would crush on Chopped. Okay, I think you should go on Chopped. I asked you like four years ago if you’d ever go on Chopped and you know what you said to me. You said , “Tell me one chef you remember that was on Chopped”. Oh, I did say that. No, no. This is when people argue that. Okay, let’s get into the weeds a little bit. This is when people are like, ” Hey, I think going on Chopped would be a good career opportunity for you.” It would not be. Like it’d be cool. It’d be cool. I’d like to do it. It’d a fun thing, but that’s what it would actually be is a fun thing. But I would take like several days outta my life to the shoot in New York. I would travel to New York. I would have to go on casting calls with people. And frankly like we reach a lot of viewers with what we currently do. So it would be almost like the opportunity cost of going on Chopped would mean like kind of fewer people seeing you. Network TV is not pulling numbers these days. We get a lot of views on YouTube. We don’t get the most views on YouTube for anybody. We get a lot of views on YouTube. So it’d be a thing that I would do for fun and passion. Again, I’m a huge fan of the show. I love the show. Paradigmatic for the entire food ecosystem. But yeah- I don’t think you should be a contestant on Chopped. I think you should be a host on Chopped. Oh my God. That be of… Imagine me sitting next to Maneet Chauhan. Yeah, there you go. And Scott Cohen. Man, come on; I’d love that. Think you’d be a great judge. I also think you’d be a good contestant. But again, the juice is not worth the squeeze for being a contestant for you. Yeah, and even like winning if you winning $10,000 would be great. And then it’s like, oh, after taxes, you know like- Maple syrup on Rice Krispies. Oh my God. So good. I think that sounds really good. I generally prefer the flavor of honey over maple in most cases though. Really? Yeah. Why? I don’t know. That’s so weird. Is it weird? I mean they’re kind of just- You’re so weird. It’s not that weird. It’s like a biner that honeys consume way more than maple. Maple in fact is such an ultra specific flavor. Could you imagine like explaining to somebody in a foreign country going like Thailand be like, yeah, we got this one tree and it bleeds, and we stab it and then we drink its juice. That’s a very specific thing. Yeah, they probably have a tree that does that as well. Yeah, probably. But like honey is like a universal thousands of years old thing. Honey’s in the Bible, man. Is it? Actually, okay, so- That’s manna. You’re thinking of manna. No, no, no. Something of the lion milk and honey. Oh, the land of- The land of milk and honey. And but I believe milk actually refers to the fig sap. That makes it creamy. Yeah, that’s what one person told me that that referred to the milk of a fig. And then honey referred to silan or date syrup. Interesting. I don’t know if that’s true at all. Somebody told me that, and I have not thought to fact check it. But so I dunno. Anyways, I kind of just prefer honey. But I’m glad that you found something. I would do honey and flaky salt on a rice crispy. Next opinion. Hello mythical Josh and Nicole. Hi. I discovered a money saving food hack if you have some freezer burnt meat that you would otherwise throw away. No matter what the cut is or what type of meat it is, adjust your broth accordingly and just make a stew. Yeah, correct. Just cook some meat to death and any textural changes from the freezer burnt won’t show up. Works great. And you don’t have to throw away meat you spent money on. Correct. Smart. Very good. Smart, smart, smart. The hack to end all hacks. That’s a hack for like vegetables that have gone super limp and rotten. The biggest money saving hack in any kitchen is just make a stew. So true. Out of anything you can save any single thing, dead herbs, Water, seasoning and anything that’s about to die. Just, yeah. Yeah, the world was built on soups and stews ’cause it can hide a lot. You know what I mean? Yeah, you’re so right. Old meat, I mean don’t play with old meat, you know what I mean? Old and freezer burnt are two different things. Also, we’ve talked about this, right? Where I was convinced that steaming vegetables wasn’t actually that much better for you than boiling. And then I looked up the data. Oh you did. And they really retained so much more moisture when you steam them. Or sorry, so many, so many more nutrients steaming versus boiling. Really? Steaming versus damn near any other technique. Wow. Yeah, so I was kinda shocked. There was a study that came out of China in God, it was like really the mid two thousands. But that’s absolutely true. But the difference is if you boil the vegetables and then consume the liquid. So which is to say you make a soup, you’re getting all the nutrients, so you’re really preserving a lot of nutrients too. But what if you eat it raw? That’s the best way, right? Okay. Raw is probably the best way. Steaming I don’t think it was that much farther away from raw, dude. There’s like, there’s something about it. There was something back in the day when people were doing like raw vegan and there’s like, it couldn’t get to a certain temperature. What was that, 38 degrees or something? Yeah, yeah. The raw vegan thing and there is I believe some nutritional breakdown at high temperatures, but it typically has to be at that high temperature for a very long time. Which I guess soups could be, but like that nutrient loss wasn’t nearly as drastic as like pouring off the liquid. You know what I mean? So interesting. And then also humans were only able to evolve because we learned how to cook food, right? I agree with that. If we spent all of our days just chewing through raw meat and sinew or chewing grassy leaves. Think about spinach, right? Yeah. Think about how much more spinach you can consume when it’s cooked versus raw. So much more. And how much less time it takes. So much more. Right. And so that’s, you know, raw vegans, if you’re happy and feel good, keep doing what you’re doing. But yeah, man, soups contains all the nutrients. Cooking us more human? Yeah, literally smaller stomachs, bigger brains. Isn’t that so great? It’s great man. We are also a part of that like progression. Yeah. Mythical kitchen. We are. We’re trying to make the stomach smaller, and the brains bigger. You know what’s funny though? I think that cooking may have also led to the introduction of cancer into the human gene bowl. Well- You read the whole thing about charred meats? Yeah, carcinogens. Yeah, carcinogens, man. Eating fire. But it tastes so good. Ooh. I do love me some barbecue. Hi, Josh and Nicole. My name’s Nora. I love your podcast. I love that name Nora. My controversial food opinion is that the only way to eat a marshmallow is burnt. The outside has to be perfectly crispy and charcoal. And the inside has to be ooey gooey. And that’s the perfect and only suitable way to eat a marshmallow. That’s it. Love your podcast. Bye. Speaking of carcinogens. Oh def, definitely. That is just burnt sugar. I know; And I love it. I love- How do you roast a marshmallow? Have we never talked about how to roast a marshmallow? I love roasting marshmallows so much. What’s your technique? Well, I burn the ever living crap out of it. When you say burn, do you- Black, black. You light on fire and blow it out? But my husband, you know, being the perfectionist he is, he literally just like, he just twirls it like a rotisserie and makes sure that it’s golden brown. Like golden brown, like the perfect tan person on a beach. And then he does this- Like a 65-year-old Italian American on the jersey shore. And then he pulls it out and then he dips it in the fire, pulls out, eats it. While it’s on fire? Yeah. No, no, no He blows it out. Like a party trick. No, no. He blows it out but- Take Bacardi 151 and goes. But he does all that work and then he just does it like really, really hot. And then he eats it. Well, when you light a marshmallow on fire, and I’m curious ’cause they said ooey gooey all throughout. When you light a marshmallow on fire, it’s not cooking the center, right? You’re getting like a medium rare Chateaubriand. I like when my center, I like when there still is a little bit of shape to my mallow on the stick. Yeah, but you eat the whole thing? You don’t ’cause I remove the skin. And then I eat the skin and then I torch it. I used to do that, but then I was a little bit more mature. I like matured. Mm, I don’t believe in pleasure delaying. I want it all now. I will say the best way to eat a marshmallow though is just raw. No. Because you lose the texture. The point of a marshmallow is the fun texture like a cat. I’m attracted to novel textures. You keep saying that. It’s my favorite thing to say. It’s your favorite combination of words to say recently. Yeah, yeah it’s good. Did you know that cats love novel textures? It’s like a stock epithet. Like Aegis-bearing Zeus. Sometimes I think nobody has any idea what I’m talking about. I know what that means. Aegis-bearing Zeus is what they say like when they… Yeah, I know what it means. I know what it means; not everybody knows what it means. Novel texture enjoying cats. The brown fox jumped over the orange dog. That has nothing to do with anything. Yeah huh. That’s also text. What? What are you talking about? A stock epithet is like a set descriptor of a character as in like novel texture enjoying Josh or wet food enjoying Josh. Aegis-bearing Zeus. Zeus is depicted with a shield. I’m depicted enjoying novel textures and wet foods. Oh, I thought you were just saying like it’s just stock. Like somebody just wrote it and put it in. No. Oh. But the sentence that you just described is the sentence uses all of the letters of the alphabet. Yeah. All right, next opinion. Hi, this is Lindsay from Northern Wisconsin. My food opinion, I guess you could kind of call it a food crime as well, is I put the end of the bag of tortilla chips where it’s all crumbly and everything like that. Dump it in a bowl, add like the cheap dark queso and then heat in the microwave for at least a minute. So the queso kind of soaks up into those tortilla chip crumbs and it almost is like a poor man’s chile chiles I guess you could call it. Kind of gives you the same vibe. Sounds good. Yeah, it’s delicious. And use up the last of the tortilla chips. Love the podcast. Thanks guys. Bye. This isn’t a food crime. What’s the opposite of a crime? Like a deed. This is a food deed. Yeah, this is a food deed. I would totally eat this. Well one, I just wanna say I love regional accents, and I think you have a beautiful accent. I love the way you said bag. In Wisconsin, but what was it? Wisconsin is a drinking state that has a cheese problem or something? Yeah. Anyways. What do you do with the chips at the end of the bag? The crumbs. I lick my two fingers and I go in there and then I finish it. And then what else do you? Nevermind. And then. You pervert. I’m not the biggest like queso fan. It’s kinda one of those foods that people would assume that I really love. And I don’t know. I’d probably rather just have salsa, but I love- I like salsa more than queso too because sometimes too much cheese, it makes me kinda wanna vomit. I love cheese though. You do have digestion issues. It’s gotten so much better though. I guess I don’t even, I’m not the biggest cheese guy. I haven’t been as farty ’cause I stopped eating so much cheese. That’s huge. No, I’ve noticed actually. It’s actually been really a boon to morale for everybody. I love taking the end of the chips and I pour them into the bowl of salsa and then I eat that almost as like gazpacho with a crunchy garnish. So I see you and go Badgers! Go Greenbay Packers. Go Pack go! Go Pack go! I love the Packers! Frances McDormand from Fargo right now. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Go Packers. You think Jordan Love’s got what it takes to actually go deep in the playoffs? You know, being a rookie, I think that- Yeah, three years ago being a rookie. Yeah, he did- I think he shows a lot of promise. He sure does. I mean, it’s a shame that he had that injury recently. Yeah, I know everyone’s a little banged up all the time in football, you know. Know, I have a lot of high hopes for his position as a quarterback. Yeah, as a quarterback. Yeah. As a quarterback. Especially with Aaron Rogers leaving and going to the Jets. Go, Nicole. Go. I think that he will show a lot of promise and hopefully hold up the legacy of the Packers to eventually beat out the rest of the people on the- In the division. Which is- In in division. NFC NFC North. NFC. NFC North. NFC North. Yeah, there she goes. NFC North East. No, no. You just have to stop at north. And then I think when you get Christian Watson back, somebody that can really stretch the field, he got Romeo Dobbs. He’s proved a really, really fantastic possession where Dontayvion Wicks I think really came through in the slot last year. Aaron Jones. I mean just what a talent. I mean with with Cooper Cook doing his thing. It’s been quite, quite a showing. And the Packer’s best lineman, Persian. Oh my God. David Bakhtiari. Bakhtiari. I knew it! Now he’s been hurt. He’s been hurt for three years. It’s actually really sad. I hope he can get healthy at some point and really resume his career. Thank you so much for stopping by the Mythical Kitchen. We got new episodes of this podcast on Sundays. The video comes out on Sundays. The audio, do you not know when our podcast comes out? The audio comes out on Wednesdays? Yeah, definitely, man. It’s been that way for four years. No it hasn’t. I guess I always read this part. And you never read this part? Yeah, no. If you wanna be featured on “Opinions are Like Casseroles”, give us a ring and leave a quick message at DOG-POD1. Is that what I sound like? I’m Nicole. I sound like a Muppet. For More Mythical Kitchen, check us out on our other videos. We launch new episodes every week. Watch Last Meals. It’s the best show on the internet. I also think Myth Munchers is also probably like the 14th best on the internet. It’s top 17 for sure. And then that sabotage one? That’s, that’s like- It’s good. I still like Fancy Fast Food. Fancy Fast Food, great show. We’ll see you next time.