ramble [Music] almonds don’t have nipples greg but can you still milk them this is a hot dog as a sandwich ketchup is a smoothie yeah i put ice in my cereal so what that makes no sense hot dog is a sandwich a hot dog is a sandwich welcome to our podcast of hot dogs this sandwich the show we break down the world’s biggest food debates i’m your host josh sharer and i’m your host nicole and nyety and nicole today we are taking on one of the hottest topics we have ever taken on we are taking on nutmeg spicy or is it nut juice nicole what are your thoughts on nut juice nut juice um okay i don’t like it being called blank milk like oat milk almond milk pistachio milk cashew milk no i think you’re anti i’m anti i don’t like it why not explain yourself i’m uh well i’m going to give me some time bro no no tell tell all the nut farmers of america why you hate their nut juice because they deserve to know no no i don’t hate it i don’t like it being called blank milk milk is milk and that’s it i think it should be called blank beverage oat beverage almond beverage flax beverage like and that’s how i feel about that okay no no no almond aid uh almond aid and doesn’t aid mean you have to put like sugar and water in it that’s what i figure cause like lemonade is lemon juice plus sugar and water but what what do you think milk means like what does milk mean to you this sounds like the start of a weird essay you’d write in the fifth grade uh it would be milk is a lac lactation secretion from a mammal what about penguin milk nicole penguin milk exists surely you must not be erasing the hard work of all the penguin mothers out there why are you anti-feminist what is actually penguin milk now okay so okay penguin milk that’s a bit of diversion but penguin milk is uh they call it crop milk it is a secretion from a penguin that is used to feed the young that some people consider to be a form of milk because there’s my point is there’s a lot of different definitions of milk and a lot of things that milk actually mean so a lot of people think it is just a lactic blah blah secretion from a mammal and if you look at like the oxford learners dictionary for instance the first entrant they have the white liquid produced by cows goats and some other animals also not just some other animals they’re like every other animal don’t put cows and goats on a pedestal you can drink pig milk it just tastes really bad anyways as food for their young and use and used as a drink by humans how much ever nicole helms ever housing skip down to definition number number three a white liquid produced by or made from plants so are you just telling me that you nicole when were you when did when when when when when when did oxford put this new number three definition into the mix do you know that they they don’t have an actual date but i assume it was much later because this is a discussion that’s come more to the forefront recently as american milk consumption declines for sure but that said like a dictionary doesn’t create the meanings itself right it is a response to how people are already using the words so we’re saying that we never twin isn’t white no i’m not about this it says a white liquid produced by or made from plants you ever had pistachio milk before that stuff’s green i’ve actually never had pistachio milk but wait i do love alternative nut milks not alternative milks but alternatives to almond milk also why come there’s no peanut milk i don’t know but it sounds delicious josh you make peanut milk you’ll make millions another thing i find really fascinating about the milk debate is that a lot of people take the dictionary definition even if they’re people like you who are milk purists and they don’t agree with the fact that it can be made from plants whatever that the etymology of milk actually has nothing to do with mammals right the etymology of milk it comes from a high german word milk that’s been around for well over a thousand years that literally just means to rub or wipe off also there’s a lot of sexual innuendo in all this juice and the rubbing and i’m sorry but that is literally what it means i need an adult like to milk right okay uh i mean sure like milk doesn’t have to refer to even if you want to go pure purism on the language because that’s where a lot of this backlash is coming from right there’s a lot of people who are like i don’t like when things change milk means cow titty juice and now you’re saying it can come from almonds i don’t like that change it’s like well almond milk is something that has been used and actually documented as the term almond milk since the 1200s and probably even earlier that’s just the records that we have from you look in any medieval cookbook nicole nicole how many medieval cookbooks you you read in these days i have like four in rotation never finished it no but let me just tell you about a ton i understand that but at the same time it’s not milk though it’s not it’s not for me it’s not you’re saying that you would have you would have gone back to the 1200s and you would have gone to one of these ancient cookbook authors and you would have been like yeah that ain’t milky idiot but back then they had no problem with it right so you would have been the crazy one i don’t care so what i’m the crazy one and i thought you were a witch nicole they would have thrown you in a river they would have won they would have burned you as a witch that’s funny also i think honestly if you went anywhere back then as as a jew i think your part your fate probably wouldn’t have been too good that’s for another podcast josh [Laughter] no no i’m gonna bring it up now do you remember we were shooting we were shooting that christmas episode and it was like huh i wonder what jews were up to in the 1600s in england and then somebody googled it and they’re like oh here we have expulsion of jews and like when was that they were like well there were like nine of them dating over 800 years and we’re like oh shoot but no i mean i don’t know there’s something i mean are you a milk drinker do you like are you the kind of guy who like pours himself a glass of milk i uh so i didn’t used to be until julia and i moved in together i would only keep uh like maybe a pint or a quart of whole milk in my fridge for cooking purposes and then anything that i was actually drinking which was probably just for protein shakes but i do love like a nice glass of uh iced milk with my peanut butter and jelly sandwiches but i would use almond milk for that solely for the fact that you know more and more research comes out and suggests like i don’t know maybe drinking milk all the time ain’t that good for you gives you some weird poops maybe inflammation is the thing i don’t know tom brady don’t drink it and he’s pretty good at football and so i started i switched to drinking almond milk he also doesn’t eat nightshade vegetables yeah that’s weird yeah tom brady’s idea of a cheat meal they asked him in an interview what his favorite cheat meal was and he was like vegan sushi and he’s like oh god this man has no pleasure in life other than torching zone defenses and being married to giselle bunchen and being married to gisele i feel like that’s pretty pleasurable i don’t know she’s a supermodel he kisses his children on the lips too i know it’s a brazilian thing it’s nice it’s sweet is that a brazilian thing i don’t know i think it’s also like a good parent thing like you kissing your kids yeah i actually talked about this with my friends like two days ago got into some really interesting territory but i’m not gonna get into that right now but what i am gonna get into is would you consider julia to be a dairy queen like she likes a lot of dairy in the house yes julia is indeed a dairy queen and i kind of famously don’t love love dairy i don’t love i don’t even cheese like i’m not a huge huge cheese guy um but now i will occasionally she keeps two percent in the house and i don’t want to double stock on whole milk and two percent so i’ve been cooking with two percent which sucks yeah but a nice a nice cold glass of two percent milk on ice is a delight yeah whole milk is like really really good like just a glass of whole milk do you ever like i need to know this do you drink milk out of the carton yeah all the time all the time i don’t let julia see me though you hide that’s the thing you have to hide your true self from your partner sometimes what are what are your milk consumption habits do you do you avoid no you love almond milk i see you drink it my pro let me tell you what my problem is i am very lactose intolerant like capital l lactose intolerant so drinking whole milk is or just drinking milk even if it’s fat-free two percent skim doesn’t matter drinking a glass of milk is like a death sentence for me like i’m going to be i’m not going to feel good the next day but if i pop like two lactate i’m like chilling out like drink as much milk as i want but like i like dairy love me some cheese love me some what are some other yogurt just bought some yogurt i eat a lot of yogurt you see me eat a grotesque amount of yogurt but let me tell you let me tell you i don’t mind things like things like cashew cheese things like cashew sour cream things like um i don’t know what are some other like uh like coconut yogurt like those things don’t bother me like that’s fine wait wait wait hold on why because cashew cheese and almond milk are the same relationship to the original completely you are completely right i think there’s something about calling it milk that really pees me oh like super psmeo do you have a lot of um like nostalgia for milk because i think we grew up in okay let me take you back to 1993 nicole 1993. that’s the year you’re born right that’s when i was born i don’t remember anything go to like 96. okay but the the commercial still the commercial still ran for a while it was the original got milk campaign commercial like you and i grew up in school with got milk posters everywhere like they were just you know given out you had to take a milk at school lunch like they forced you to take milk yeah it was an absolute trip and the original got milk commercial which i totally forgot until i was researching uh this podcast and then i found out an incredible fact about it it was a person calls into a radio station they’re eating a peanut butter sandwich and they asked him a trivia question who shot alexander hamilton to win ten thousand dollars nicole but thank you for ruining the surprise for everybody but the guy’s mouth is so dry of peanut butter and bread and he goes and nicole and nicole and can you guess what the commercial says they say got milk got milk and do you know who directed that tell me tell me michael freaking bae the explosion guy the explosion guy the trans was there an explosion was there an explosion no i what a incredible trivia fact that michael bay directed the original gut milk er earn bird commercial uh but the point is you and i like we grew up inundated on the idea that milk is a good thing to drink in the world do you know what historical event this all goes back to what world war ii baby i knew it i knew it tell us about it okay but like i’ll keep it quick i’ll keep it quick i’ll keep it quick uh in like you know great depression happened right in like you know the uh the 30s started in 1929 and then in the 30s there was like a huge effort to mechanize farm production to basically be like look america is a nation of farmers we need to modernize all of our stuff there was a uh rural campaign to get electricity on all the farms and they did that and then that basically allowed them to have a bunch of uh you know electric teat suckers to be able to mechanize and make the milk production more efficient not only that they were able to have electricity to have cooling tanks on farms so milk production in america explodes in the 1940s and then hilariously i mean also not hilariously world war ii is not the funniest subject um but also so many farms oh it’s so good uh read the book taste of war by lizzie calling him really fantastic uh and at the time you know war across europe was absolutely destroying all the farms and all that stuff so american milk production was absolutely massive they were powdering milk condensing it evaporating it sending it out to troops etc uh but literally since then we have been on a 70-year milk consumption decline in america and then also over the last 20 years since like 2002 we’ve seen that decline like 30 which is the sharpest decline so like our parents were like you know probably raised on milk i mean your parents you know weren’t weren’t born in america i don’t know what their relationship with just slamming milk is i drink a lot of dude oh my god i currently have so much duke in my fridge and i want to smack david with all the dual bottles because i hate that stuff in my house wait does david drink duke also tell the folks what duke is duke is like a fermented yogurt drink actually featured on a gmm episode once before and uh it’s like a fermented yogurt drink it’s really good with like a little bit of dried mint maybe even throw some dried dill in there but like it just it just doesn’t cut it for me man like i don’t know it’s just not pleasant for me sometimes like you know if i ever go to iran like i’ll drink the dude in iran you know what i mean like well i’m not good is it sweet sweet or savory also so it’s it’s fizzy too right it’s like a fizzy liquidy yogurt drink savory yogurt heck yeah dude and some people are really into it i personally am not but david if you’re hearing this no more do in the house babe please dude come over come over to my place bring some dried mint well i have a duke party uh but no i mean like did you did your parents like push milk on you from a young age or something because that was a big thing yeah i mean we always have like we always have milk in the house we always have horizon vitamin d infused whole milk and then for me i always had lactate two percent and never and for my dad my dad always had rice milk because you know he has his like stomach sensitivities and stuff so i grew up with with those three milks in my house constantly and then whenever i started you know making my own money and buying my own things i would like say hey guys here’s some almond milk like here’s some oat milk and they were like it’s okay but like dairy my house loves dairy like we’re just dairy people yeah that makes sense it’s funny that your dad was drinking rice milk for a long time because like almond milk didn’t start exploding it was always there on the market i remember soy milk was a big thing which again soy milk is actually a very traditional product from china that’s like well over a thousand years old because it’s very delicious outside of its milk context but almond milk had this huge explosion and now there’s this huge quote-unquote alternative milk explosion with like the flax the hemp the oats uh oh these are really a product hemp milk hemp out of all of the milk alternatives hemp milk is my all-time favorite i thought it was called hemp drink okay hemp beverage is that better i mean but also beverage doesn’t let me tell you what also the issues with word beverage beverage has a connotation where it’s like uh it’s like a light drink you know what i mean like like a beverage it’s a refresher it’s a refresh exactly nothing about milk is a refresher milk is heavy milk is like dusky milk is like milk you know what is inside you that wants to protect milk is it like it’s application and cooking because that’s one thing that i that i will say that i like pretty actively hate about this is that you will um someone will say hey this recipe didn’t work and you’re like did you measure everything correctly and they’re like yeah and they’re like what would happen like well i used almond milk instead of whole milk and it’s like well it’s like that’s not even the same yeah so that’s been something annoying you can’t really cook with almond milk like you would maybe that’s it like like you could totally like sub out like cashew cream and like use like you know like like cashew sour cream instead of like regular sour cream i’m sure but like yeah i think i think i have this weird protection this weird like uh defense for milk like i want to defend milk and have it only because i don’t think milk needs it nicole milk does not need your defending do you want to know why milk doesn’t need your defending because they have because they got the dollars in funding from from people not 2016 43 billion dollars in dairy industry subsidies nicole nicole what do you think our cheese surplus is at now i don’t know but i want to dive in one point four billion pounds we have one we have four million extra cheese we have that much extra cheese we have where is it we have to fill caves they fill caves with all of the extra cheese because america has subsidized and again all this going back to post-depression world war ii uh and then just continuing because of course uh all the subsidies during world war ii for food production and also post-depression uh went to a small handful of farms comparatively so there’s these massive things and they gotta feed them 46 billion dollars you know just to keep them alive and now we got 1.4 billion pounds of cheese and so i’m over here i don’t want to protect milk i want to destroy milk i mean i know there’s a lot of people whose livelihoods whose livelihoods depend on it and like you know mad respect to dairy farmers but like at this point we are so we’re literally sucking on the tea tea we’re sucking on the milk to eat so much and we’ve just seen natural you know consumerism of milk decline that i’m over here being like hey if people want almond milk to drink as a creamy white beverage then we should give them and it should be called milk because milk just means to rub off [Music] there are few 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quality meanwhile buddy you’re in the right place with butcherbox you get delicious 100 grass-fed beef free-range organic chicken pork raised crate free and wild-caught seafood so get summer sizzling started with the special butcher box deal for our listeners free bacon for the life of your membership plus ten dollars off holy smokes sign up today at butcherbox.com hotdog and use code hotdog to get one pack of free bacon in every box for the life of your membership plus ten dollars off your first order that’s butcherbox.com hotdog and use code hotdog to claim this deal [Music] what about like other mammal milks is fire yeah camel milk goat milk freaking what are some other man it’s got a little grassy twang what are some well i told i’m sure i’ve i mean i’ve mentioned the pig milk story right where i tried to write a story about why we don’t eat pig milk and they were like tastes like crap and i was like oh you drink you know maybe first of all you drink milk you don’t eat it whatever dude i eat it you’re eating your milk you have to throw it away because it’s probably expired when you’re this is ricotta cheese that’s that’s all i’m doing i’m making my cut yeah sure regardless so you don’t believe you have a nostalgic fondness for milk you believe that the term milk should be protected but do you think that like the government at this point should step in and tell blue diamond almonds hey you gotta stop calling it milk um yeah because just calling it oh like right i bet if i ran to my fridge right now and i pulled out my oat milk also i don’t have any like real milk in my fridge right now which is so weird um if i pulled up my oat milk it would just say creamy oat beverage i think that’s what my trader joe’s one says it says creamy oat beverage and that’s fine that’s that’s gucci yeah wait is it actually dang i kind of want you to do it now can you can i like a lot of these products okay hold on i have to okay hold on nicole’s running to her fridge so i’m gonna run down a series of lawsuits against the blue diamond almond company this is hilarious because i was originally researching there’s one famous lawsuit that basically said that blue diamond should have to use the term imitation in front of milk to be called milk and then uh the ninth circuit court was literally like that stupid uh because people don’t expect almond milk to have the same nutritional makeup as milk go ahead nicole look at it it says non-dairy oat beverage and it’s no way and it’s good oh my god and it’s delicious and you know what i just don’t listen can you hear it i gotta buy some more yeah i’m telling you this does not turn me off to drinking it if it said oat milk it’d be fine but it says oat beverage which is more accurate non-dairy oat beverage thank you wait that’s incredible yeah this makes sense i’m telling you that i’m kind of shook by that because i my thing is i i’d be curious to see like sales numbers right if you called something say non-dairy almond beverage versus almond milk i’d be curious to see how those products sold because i imagine the reason they call it almond milk is like yeah they’re trying to be a direct substitute oh nicole’s chugging the oat beverage now oh my god now i want some taking a handful of my oat beverage okay okay but hold up so i was researching the lawsuit against blue diamond that said that they had to use the term imitation in front of milk and then the court struck that down but in the process of that i found like five other lawsuits against blue diamond and so okay as much as like i don’t think you know milk needs our protection so much the almond milk industry seems to be a little bit shady all right so check this out so 2018 was the original class action case uh plaintiff cynthia painter alleged the company should have to use the term imitation milk because it doesn’t contain equal nutritional value to dairy milk which is interesting right dairy milk has a lot of fat a lot of protein uh and vitamin d it was enriched with and so this i don’t know makes a little bit of sense but it was dismissed because and i quote almond milk does not involve literally substituting inferior ingredients for those found in dairy milk and they are quote two distinct food products that have different nutritional values absolutely makes sense because cutely you’re thinking like uh like almonds have protein and fat in them so you’re thinking that you know you milk a bunch of almonds you get a lot of the protein fat sure but at the same time it’s it doesn’t equate to the same also no it’s example like how you said about baking how you said about like baking and cooking and stuff like that like it is not a substitute good it’s not no i agree entirely it’s a different beverage but milk just kind of means creamy white thing but then this is the lawsuit that kind of messed me up a little bit so 2015 there’s another class action against blue diamond as well as silk almond milk uh because their milk was only two percent almonds so like every almond milk recipe out there calls for like probably like a 15 to 20 percent almonds by weight distribution um you ever look at the ingredient labels of like almond milk and like look the oat milk is probably different because oats are really cheap almonds are pretty damn expensive but i hate almond milk that has a ton of thickener in it so it’ll be like sunflower lecithin or carrageenan which fun fact carrageenan was used as sexual lubricant in ancient japan uh but i digress you told me that a few days ago yeah these things just kind of come up at work anytime carrageenan comes up so like that’s a little bit wild that they’re literally using two percent almonds and then just thickening it with carrot jeanine and then uh 2021 the most recent lawsuit blue diamond had to pay out 2.6 million for misrepresenting the vanilla flavoring in their products because they’re using artificial uh and then there was a 2018 lawsuit blue diamond settles for nine million for misleading use of the term all-natural on packaging so the more i think about it i don’t know if i want to be protected in the almond milk industry out here either because there’s a lot of stuff they’re getting cancelled left and right listen milk is screwed up let’s be honest here too like i know almonds are screwed up but milk is screwed up too you know with all the veganism and all of the all the animal abuse and stuff going on in these farms like i understand there’s no real victor there’s no real winner at the end of the day what we’re arguing is if almond milk should be called milk if oat milk should be called milk if soy milk should be called milk i just don’t think so they’re not substitute goods they both serve a purpose have you ever had a bowl of cereal with an alternative milk it’s disgusting no it’s not wait i actively prepare ew what i prefer i prefer okay do you remember the first time you had almond milk sure where were you that’s gonna be my new pickup line at a bar even though i’m in it you’re like married i like the idea i know i just like the idea of having a pickup line hey toots remember the first time you had almond milk well i was at a party a long time ago and a guy a guy came up to me and just said hey what’s your favorite terrorist attack and i had one i was like om shinrikyo tokyo subway sarin gas attack what’s yours and he was like whoa didn’t expect that so anyways where were you the first time you had almond milk i’m pretty sure i was like 13. oh well oh well oh specifically almond milk or any sort of alternative milk let’s say alternative milk well it was i had my dad’s rice milk whenever i ran out of my own milk and i put it in my cereal and i didn’t like it you didn’t like it a little bit it was sweetened with vanilla and i didn’t really like what kid doesn’t like that i didn’t i didn’t like it i have had discerning taste for many a year josh my palette has been this expansive for a while i was the op i i i remember experiencing the same thing as you i was like sleeping over at my buddy chad rosie’s house and his mom leanna rosine shout out leanna lovely woman she busted out the uh blue diamond chocolate almond milk and i put that i put that in like a bowl of corn flakes and my god i was blown away i didn’t see it i didn’t even see it as this is a milk alternative it was like this is an entirely separate beverage and product that’s really really really delicious and also another opportunity to get more sugar in your body so now that i’m thinking about it maybe i don’t think almond milk should be called milk i used to go ahead sorry oh i was gonna say i use i came in here thinking that i was a radical milk exclusionist no a radical milk inclusionist what’s the name of my political party i don’t know it’s yours no one else has it but now i’m like maybe we need to abandon the term milk all together maybe there’s room for almond beverage like you busted out that non-dairy oat beverage maybe we should try and just completely dissociate from the term milk yeah as a consumer if it said milk it wouldn’t bother me but it says beverage and it defines it perfectly that’s what i’m trying to say like if it says milk fine like whatever like i just don’t prefer but it but it’s fine it’s a beverage it’s a non-dairy blank beverage and i think that’s the perfect descriptor for almond o rice hemp soy coconut whatever milk i think it makes sense so you’re like not even saying that necessarily from a uh protection of the brand of capital m milk but almost like let’s honor these nut beverages these nut juices these nutterades for what they are not a raid that’s like weird josh’s nutter raid it’s got electrolytes nicole don’t laugh i hate you so much i hate you we’re going to sell nutterade on the mythical store yeah you got to get the graphics department yeah a bag of blowfish chips and nutter aid real original josh no i think i mean i think protecting i think i was just saying i was protecting milk just to say i was protecting milk because you put it into my brain and you’re really good at doing that to me but like no i’m not here to protect milk i just think they’re again they are not substitute goods and people like to have you ever had a coffee with almond milk ew yeah it separates it gets nasty it separates it like separates it comes grainy oat milk does the same thing depending on like how hot your coffee is or whatever uh so yeah i mean that’s another thing where i used to put almond milk in my coffee and it just kind of sucked and then when i moved in with jules and we had stuff we were stocking regular dairy milk in the house what a game changer i thought i didn’t like milk in my coffee i love milk in my coffee nicole two splenda one milk what a delight yeah what is it like maybe you want that much i mean i can’t do it that much i mean i can’t drink milk that often i can’t i would love to but my body just doesn’t allow it but yeah milk is dank and you know what almond milk is dank whenever it’s used in an appropriate way soy milk is delicious when it’s done appropriately coconut milk signed me up i love coconut milk man you ever had the chinese donuts dipped in like fresh soy milk oh yeah i forgot what it’s called but yes utl yeah it’s util is it i’ve had it before yeah absolutely very very we need to maybe we should just start disassociating from the term milk all together we can appreciate milk i certainly appreciate milk i’ve grown in my appreciation of milk uh ever since moving in with a literal dairy queen but also yeah maybe we just maybe they’re nut beverages maybe they’re nutterades they’re non-dairy what’s your favorite nut milk by the way have you ever had any nut milk that like really stuck in your head well i used to work i used to work at like a cafe chocolate store hybrid and i used to make my own really bomb almond milk ooh the homemade stuff yeah i’m good at making like homemade nut milks like i’m very we used to do a comb i used to do a combination of almond cashew and hazelnut and it was really good girl yeah i would make a hot chocolate with it a chocolate shoud or whatever chocolate show chocolate shop can i tell no you are a you are a mexican cow josh spanish cow a spanish cow nicole whatever um but for like baking flax milk is incredible for baking yeah like if you want to make like a bread pudding do it with flax milk it’s really good my favorite nutterade is macadamia i like the macadamia nut raid i’m not rich enough to have macadamia nut in utterance oh wait can we can we speak about the last thing that i truly bought into the office uh on our quote unquote research budget do you remember what it was where i i dropped on the table and i was like guys we all got to try this because it exists no it’s been a while please tell me it was almond nog it was blue diamond non-very almond-based eggnog and it was the most disgusting thing i’ve ever drank it is pure carrot jean and it is pure ancient japanese sex lube just thickening up that nog and god made lord have mercy on the people who created that we should sue them we should see them for that screw this podcast nicole i’m not interested i’m suing anybody right now what that’s the cottage industry that’s how people make money you just you sue subway because you don’t think their meatballs are made of meat you sue almond nog because nog shouldn’t be made from almonds i believe that’s called an ambulance chaser right someone who just like looks like lawsuits yeah call the law offices of a 90 and share if you have any wild food claims you want to bring against i don’t know arby’s let’s take them down yeah we’re going to get our bar exams in like what like 12 months how curly are their curly fries really i got a straight [Music] all right nicole we’ve heard what you and i have to say now it’s time to find out what other wacky ideas are rattling out there in the twitterverse it’s time for a segment we call uh [Music] all right first up we got at thai lavonsa there is no need to wash slash clean your chicken before cooking it you’re literally cooking it yeah it’s like technically true um and also technically speaking washing your chicken uh is like dangerous i guess you’re splashing salmonella around your kitchen but like also if you have a deep set sink then like what are you splashing salmonella around your sink that’s where salmonella should be you clean it with soap i don’t uh take anything too seriously when people are like washing your chicken is gonna give your family diseases i don’t know do what you want there’s a lot of like um different cultural traditions in terms of like soaking your chicken in vinegar water which actually makes it taste pretty good and a lot of this comes from you know um i don’t know pre-refrigeration cooking techniques which i think really important to be passed down some people wash chicken in lemon juice and then rinse that off which it just makes it taste tender good yeah also the acid tenderizes it this is like whatever you do in your own home i’m not gonna come police yet but like you don’t need to for safety reasons for sure yeah you don’t need to for safety reasons uh i do believe that like how you said like adding like a vinegar soak or doing like a rub down with a lime or a lemon or like even like my mom likes to cook like uh my mom likes to wash her salmon with a little bit of lemon juice and salt water like it’s a cultural thing if you want to wash your chicken wash it if you don’t want to wash your chicken don’t yeah i’m over uh policing any food safety in anybody’s kitchens like it’s something that’s affecting you and the people you’re cooking for which hopefully if you’re running like a restaurant that’s something but it’s affecting you and the people you’re cooking for it’s like i don’t know put your energy into the people driving teslas who are speeding on the freeway they could hurt somebody else you know yeah screw them sure nicole how did how’d i used to play the game if somebody there was a real a-hole driver and i saw them being an a-hole i’d be like ooh it’s probably a bmw now tesla tesla has taken over bmw as the biggest a-holes on the road and i’m fascinated by it i think the new broncos are all a-holes because i want them i want one and i want to be that a-hole it’s like watching the old h2s oh my god yeah who even what even was that car jojo underscore girl 1991 says peanut butter pickles sweet onions and honey make the best snack sandwich depends on the pickle i would the honey i don’t need the peanut butter pickle onion go for it the honey it’s too much well that’s what i’m saying it depends on the pickle and cold but imagine the imagine the honey with a sweet bread and butter pickle now that changes the profile of the sandwich hear me out instead of adding honey why don’t they put the sandwich on a honey wheat bread oh but i like the wet cha-ching there’s a couple there’s a couple factors here honey’s not wet honey is sticky sticky and wet are two different sensations no but honey honey can i think it can make things wet like you ever put honey on a on a banana and peanut butter sandwich in the honey i think the sugar okay so you know you macerate fruit sure right so like i think the honey literally acts as a maceration agent and it draws out the moisture certain things so it can get wet so you put your honey are you going to refrigerate your sandwich for like 24 hours or you’re just going to eat it it don’t take 24 hours yeah 10 minutes 10 minutes top you’re gonna you’re gonna dry out some of that there is no way honey leeches out moisture the way that sugar isn’t sugar has those rough crystals it has an abrasive quality to it which adds to the maceration i don’t know you’re just lying you’re lying right now i don’t i’m saying jojo girl 1991 did not give us enough information to be able to accurately judge her sandwich i need to know a couple things i need to know how wet are your onions i need to know what kinds of pickles they’re vidalia onions they’re sweet vidalia onions are you soaking them in ice water because you should be you’re eating wrong she’s not who doesn’t i don’t know oh i soak all my onions yeah you do wow getting ready all right next that settles that at kennedy mcduff whoa hold on wedge salads are annoying please cut up my lettuce for me thank you oh i’m sorry i’m sorry that you’re a child and you need all your food cut up for me i’m sorry that you can’t handle a big old brick iceberg lettuce that’s too tough and if you have a disability or something like arthritis then i’m very sorry and i feel like a huge a-hole for saying that um i kind of like wedge salads but like you know i don’t like the idea of picking it i like the idea wait hold on i like wedge salads a lot but i have the strongest urge to just pick up the wedge and eat it like i don’t want to use a pork and knife i want yeah i do i’m a lady nicole i ate three fried eggs with my hands this morning right before this podcast i ate this was the yolks runny yeah i i i put the yolk up to my mouth and i bit a hole in it like a soup dumpling and i went and i just ate the eggs you sick man you’re talking about you’re talking to the wrong guy if you think you can’t eat a wedge salad which is nothing i all i want to do is i just want to i just want to pick up the wedge and i just want to go like i just want to do that but like i can’t because of social because of social uh disparity that is my male privilege that i’m allowed to eat wedge salads with my hands nicole like sometimes i eat sushi with my hands at restaurants and people look at me this sideways and i’m like look away ugly like let me eat my sushi i like do you like you eat sushi with your hands right yeah all the time i love going to the kura revolving sushi bar then what i give you a coupon for yeah okay okay yeah we need to explain this nicole is like this is a while ago nicole is like hey david and i are going to kura revolving sushi that’s where you sit down and there’s a conveyor belt that brings around sushi and you grab it off and it’s a very fun time she goes we have a coupon and i was busy that night and she goes well i’ll send you the coupon the coupon was for like five dollars off on like a hundred dollar bill no it wasn’t like what are you you’re using a five percent off coupon is like an excuse to go like i don’t know that five dollars is a coffee the next morning that’s fair gosh darn it you guys you you need to learn budgeting man yeah going sushi isn’t part of the but i don’t know anyway i love eating sushi with my hands okay adam is awkward 69. you should never mix breakfast cereals unless they both have similar texture and flavor yeah i never mix my cereals never like think about kashi goleen and like honey chex well that’s why you said similar textures and flavors because that’s i i fully agree like if you if you were to mix uh grape nuts with fruity pebbles that would suck because one of them is going to get soggy after two minutes and the other is going to be indestructible for forever but say you take say you take like an apple jack and a cinnamon toast crunch you put those in the same bowl and those are soggy at the same rate they have complementary flavors cinnamon and apples no that’s a nice time for me no i consider myself like a sommelier a c whatever you call melies kicks and kicks and tricks rounds kicks and tricks some tricks would work but you’re just diluting the fruit flavor all you’re saying is is i wish i had less fruity tricks i love kicks i like you know what my issue is i just like like you know cereal is like a grain like i just like single grain cereals you know like people are like hand harvested yeah like i like single origin like vanilla pods or something and i’m like you’re like give me some single origin cereals i like a little millet in a bowl with almond beverage i swear on my life like i’m one of those people like i’m not a sugary cereal person i’m just not but damn i love me some grape nuts i love me some rice chex i love me some kicks do you know what a grape nut is i we talk about it all the time i don’t know what a grape nut is i have it in my pantry you want me to go see yeah nicole go i’ll do the next one go run and grab grape nuts and read me the ingredients really you want me to run yeah nicole actually run wait i’ll take the next one okay here we go um essentially dot shell gum is just a fidget spinner for your mouth uh i agree also i hate gum because i have a lot of expensive dental work not like cosmetic expensive dental work like i’m not getting a diamond encrusted grill but i’m saying i got a lot of root canals and crowns that i don’t want to be pulled out with gum also i don’t consider gum a form of food because you’re not supposed to swallow it and it is not okay nicole’s back i agree i agree i heard everything you said and high key gum sucks but i love gum also i’m one of those people who choose gum and like i’m very like i’m like a open mouth anxiety gum chewer and everyone looks at me and they’re like you need to stop chewing gum like that okay grape nuts what’s that great hulk i actually ran whole grain wheat flour malted barley flour salt dried yeast but what do you mean dry idea what are they they’re not leavening the the grape nut what do they do i think that’s just oh josh i have oat milk and grapefruits right next to me oh you you got a party in your mouth nicole oat milk and grape nuts should i pour myself a mouth bowl of cereal i don’t care there had to be a more palatable way to combine those ingredients than what grape nuts did well it’s like they mash it into a brick and then throw it against a wall and that shatters into the grape nuts is that what they do i don’t know but i’m about to find out nicole is pouring herself a mouth bowl of cereal ladies and gentlemen it does it definitely smells like you know smells smells yeasty it really does why why the yeast oh no this is probably like a grape nuts were definitely like a cure for sexual urges because that’s what all cereals were based on my research yeah nicole has made a mouth bowl of cereal that is where she pulled the cereal on her tongue and then poured oat beverage on top of it that’s good and she’s got a little bit of an oat beverage mustache right now oh god is it gone yeah you’re good you’re good you’re good okay jerely says crushed up instant ramen noodles in a salad is much better than croutons or wonton strips didn’t you do this one time bro yeah dude ramen salad’s a big midwest thing but i got called out i got called the f out nicole because i didn’t fry my dried ramen noodles first oh apparently that’s the thing you’re supposed to do but no it’s nice they kind of soak up the liquid because instant ramen is already boiled and then dehydrated kind of weakens up those structures so it’s not like you’re just eating raw pasta there uh and it’s nice it soaks up the dressing nice becomes nice and crunchy though croutons to me are just like pretty undefeated i like croutons you know what i really like in my salads have you ever seen those parmesan crisps not the ones that are just parmesan not the ones that are just parmesan but the actual like long piece of like thinned out dehydrated bread that has the parmesan cheese on it oh okay yeah yeah the fancy ones you know the ones that those are like rich people food well i i make those but at home what i do those at home nicole i i take my leftover bread i did this recently i took all my leftover bread and i sliced it very very thin i put pecorino on it and then some herbs and stuff and then i toasted that at like 275 for like two hours you don’t need to go hot you got to go low and slow so all the moisture leaves the system and it’s super crusty and crunchy you know break it up into almost like bread crumbs that’s what a delight what a delight that sounds delicious all right um here we go at cream on double zero crinkle cut fries are the worst form of potato i don’t enjoy them but the worst swarm of potato is and always will be mashed mashed potatoes especially chunky ones nicole don’t test me do not test me shut up what are you saying it’s baby food it’s baby food and i know something about baby food what do you know just because you beat a world record you think you know so much about baby food no you know what you’re talking about old man um i don’t like tater tots to fight me that’s wild that’s wild and not like tater tot no it’s not it’s not that wild people what’s bad about tater tots it’s perfect it’s dry tater tots are dry they’re unbelievable bad tater you’re talking about like oh you need to tell me every single tater tot i’ve ever had in my life is bad i’m not saying every single tater tot but i’m saying that like a well-made tater tot should be we should be judging i’m judging even though even the best even i’ve i have homemade tater tots i don’t make tater tots yeah they’re nice you’re bored with your life i don’t have that kind of time and energy bro what the frick yeah that’s true nicole has friends she’ll be like i went out this weekend and did a fun thing and i’m like i made a stew from the 9th century that i found him an evil cookbook and she’s like cool hey you know what you could do josh you could always invite people to come taste your 9th century stew and that’s how you make friends yeah well no i already got a friend his name’s deep he ate the stew okay but different ones i don’t think so because i like deep because deep came over and he watched we watched college football and uh drank a bunch of beers and ate a stew oh you act like i’m happy with my life people you act like other people stop trying to change me stop trying to change me i got you i’m social and i’m good okay fine and on that note thank you for listening to a hot dog as a sandwich if you want to hear more from us here in the mythical kitchen we got new episodes for you every wednesday if you want to be featured on opinions or like casseroles you can hit us up on twitter at mythicalchef or anhedizada with opinion casserole and if you want to follow my best friend deep that’s at d-i-p-s-e-t-21 his profile picture is of an indian-american basketball player named simboolar and for more mythical kitchen check us out on youtube where we launch new videos every week and of course if you want to share pictures of your dishes hit us up on instagram at mythical kitchen or what was what was deep instagram oh that’s a dipset21 it was a high school basketball nickname all right we’ll see you next time [Music] you