ramble they say pizza is like sex even when it’s bad it’s yeah it’s still pretty bad today we’re discussing what’s the sexiest food this is a hot dog as a sandwich ketchup is a smoothie yeah i put ice in my cereal so what that makes no sense hot dog is a sandwich a hot dog is a sandwich welcome to our podcast of hot dogs as a sandwich the show we break down the world’s biggest food debates i’m your host josh air and i’m your host nicole inaudible and today we’re excited to be joined by ned fulmer ned’s a beloved member of the try guys two-time best-selling author host of two podcast series and the father of two children ned congrats on the sex he and his wife ariel recently i’m sorry i couldn’t expect that uh he and his wife ariel recently recently released the date night cookbook making him the perfect person to talk about the love language of food and welcome to the show thanks for having me what’s up guys hey i’m glad you’re here i can confirm i have had sex mazel tov two children it counts was it disappointing like did you because like you read about it you read it yeah you read about it and then it happens and you’re like well you know i’m sorry that happened for you oh no it’s okay you know we all have anyways we are talking about the sexiest food also disclosure i wanted to call this what’s the perfect first date food and then nicole goes no i want to talk about what’s sexy to us yeah i’m all about sexy stuff good call nicole thank you thank you for i think first date food can’t be too sexy can’t be too like evocative you know what i mean like you can’t just bring out like a plate of oysters and truffle pasta and like a steak medium rare like that’s yeah you gotta slow burn it yeah you gotta slow play it yeah you gotta do like a sexy carrot if we find the perfect first date food we will eventually figure out the sexiest you’re right because things will be going in the right way you have to escalate it i mean this is a great segue to plug the hell out of ned’s cookbook because it is really cool the way that you structured it you literally structured it based on the stages of a relationship right yeah it’s literally from first date then you know meeting each other’s friends and cooking these big lavish meals and settling into comfortability and stuff like that uh so i mean to you what you’ve been in relation for a long time what does the sexiest food look like now uh i think it’s gotta be chocolate anything chocolate probably the sexiest uh recipe in the cookbook is you know it starts with attraction and then dating and then we have a disappointment chapter yeah maybe a breakup or maybe it’s just a fight sure uh but then the best part of the disappointment chapter is the kiss and make up meals excellent best most extravagant so we have a raspberry flourless chocolate cake uh that’s kind of like a you know an i’m sorry cake that’s very that’s objectively sexy yeah saying i’m sorry is sexy apologizing whenever you make a big ability yeah making a mistake and saying sorry is very sexy more people should apologize i think i think the sexiest thing is being yourself but like what about in food like like what about no okay okay so so you and i have talked a lot and i’m curious to hear ned’s take on this about like how key food was to our attraction romantic partner right like how sure it’s like a linchpin that binds it and i remember i made a very conscious choice that when i started going on dates with people that i would just like show my full self through food because food is the most important thing in my life it’s how i it’s the lens through which i view the world and so i was like i’m not gonna try and be prim and proper i’m gonna go in and just be the old dirty bastard version of myself just eating with my hands being an absolute slob because that’s me and if anybody rejects that why would i ever want that uh and so i remember going on my first date with julia we’ve now been together for two years been living together for one of them and on our first date we just you know basically fired the menu at nightshade my favorite restaurant in los angeles um and i could tell that she was trying to like be prim and proper not embarrass herself and then at some point were a couple cocktails in and she’s having this you know deep conversation she’s like wildly gesticulating with her hands and then she just grabs like a roasted carrot and swipes it through tamarind caramel and just goes like and starts sucking it off her fingers and to me that was like that was the sexiest thing it was just like you know how to hang and so i love that were there any like indicators with both of your partners that like oh they’re down af wow um with my with my husband right now or like in the past or a pastor or a pastor you want to reconnect with me one really one really interesting story i was on a date with a guy and there was lamb chops and he had a knife and fork but i just kind of went in and i picked up the lamb chop and i ripped through and he immediately said i love you i was like oh no please no no but with david um the one of our first dates was actually i made a card and i invited him to my house for valentine’s day dinner and i kicked my parents out of the house i’m like i need the kitchen february 14th from five o’clock to question mark and then i made like a full like i made like what did i make i made like a hamachi crudo i made a steak i made like roasted broccoli and brussels sprouts like i did a whole like coursed out meal you did the damn thing i wanted i wanted to impress him like really badly and i’m like yeah you’re dating a food person look at this so i and then he was just very appreciative because honestly my steak came out really chewy and i was so embarrassed i’m like oh no my steak is chewy i’m so upset but he’s like don’t worry like your effort was incredible i loved it what a fun thing i can’t wait to do this with you again so that was really special it was a very nice thing to say your effort was incredible and i had a great time i can’t wait to do this again he gave me a gold star and he’s like good job thank you so much and that was probably one of like the first food memories i’ve made with david that’s very special to me to this day ned when did you know ariel was the one oh i mean i knew she was a special person right away i mean the the first night that we met we just kept trying to like get closer and closer to each other it was like a eight person nine person party where everyone talks in one giant circle and it’s like sometimes it’s a group conversation it really shouldn’t be we were the people dominating the group conversation slowly worked my way to be sitting right next to each uh to her um but i knew right away in terms of food um we we connect over chardonnay and pasta italian food uh one of our very first dates uh i took her to like the fancy italian place near us and we got a kit you know a table with candles we were like 21 22. were you kind of faking it a little bit oh we’re totally putting on the ritz like putting like oh this is my best shirt and i ordered this uh they had this like one pound meatball which i was like oh wow is this giant thing it’s gonna be we’re this hilarious uh and then it turns out she didn’t eat beef or pork then i’m just have this giant thing in front of me and then there’s this sense of like i don’t know i wanted to like show her like how tough i was by like putting down this giant piece of meat um yeah i i tried my hardest i got about a half quarter of the way uh three quarters of the way through it i mean come on now but uh that’s a big meatball that’s untenably large but we learned you know we learned new things about each other yeah that’s right i think it’s funny especially on the first couple dates like when you’re uh you’re thinking things may at least get reasonably physically intimate right okay and then you’re faced with a thing of like should i order the one pound meatball yeah and try it wouldn’t do that no no do not do food challenges or a third date or anything yeah good advice i do remember hearing roy choi talk about um the difference between like american dating culture and korean dating culture in that regard where he was at um dan song which is a great like korean just drinking hub that has super junk food you know they have like the army stew with the spam and the kimchi and the ramen noodles and all that one of my favorite places in the world i think julie and i went on our like fifth date there nice so we had you know enough sort of runway to be able to be that comfortable but he was saying how in korean dating culture you will just drink a bunch of soju drink a bunch of beer eat the most squid in garlic and kimchi possible and then be way too full to have sex and then just go home and just do it anyways he’s like that has been my experience with korean dating culture and there’s a part of me that’s just like that now that’s romance pushing through your physical limitations to be intimate with each other yeah yeah yeah i can see that yeah i think there’s an intimacy in being gross together yeah i get that but i can’t think of a belly and there’s nothing worse than sex and a belly full of squid i’m sorry i can’t the two just don’t mesh for me personally i have a question for you guys what do you guys think is the least sexiest food like whenever you’re on a date like what’s something that’s just like i’m not gonna order this whenever i’m with my partner do you have one porridge i know julie and i ate a lot of porridge on our first date yeah no it was fine congee yes we just ate a big bowl of porridge with pork floss in it that’s nice and that was really great i don’t know that i consider any food unsexy in a vacuum no i think for me it’s kind of what we were talking about of being like uncomfortably full yeah i don’t know that i can do the the korean dating culture thing that you’re talking about but for for me the one food that i can’t like i can’t under eat is like indian food yeah i just i always want to get like one more thing or like two more things then you have like six different dishes and you’re like oh i really should have had two yeah then you just have a little taste of everything and at any time i’m just always uncomfortably full does not lead to intimacy which as you progress in a relationship that’s like those are the best nights where you both just have the like hey yo this ain’t gonna happen right like we just like yeah julie and i recreated uh a meal from peter luger’s oh no we had a famous steakhouse in brooklyn that she grew up going to all the time and like you know we we did the bacon we did the wedge salad uh we just did the whole damn thing just a giant shrimp cocktail i paid way too much for steak from a cut above butcher shop which does great work they do uh and then afterwards it was like all right we’re going to bed high five yeah roll over yeah those nights where you don’t even brush your teeth you’re like oh it’s a morning knee problem i’ll see you see you guys i mean you’re probably fighting a stomach ache even just to fall asleep yeah yeah yeah you want to lay on your stomach and take a gas sex i think one of the foods for me in in farsi there’s this term called dam cara dam and it’s whenever you eat too much food and it’s like you’re roasting yourself so i think one of the foods that does that for me is ramen good ass ramen because you can’t not finish it yeah uh x immediate x like i’m just like i can’t even think about anything sexy right now after eating a bowl of ramen i feel accomplished when i finish a bowl of ramen but i don’t feel sexy after finishing a bowl yeah you say you feel something crushing accomplished bowl of ramen is an accomplishment always always always and they oftentimes have like a little note to you in the bottom of the bowl right the bowl says something sometimes you should say like good job good job you did it yeah have fun getting no action tonight you know what’s really sexy sushi is a video yes yes i love sushi dates that’s one of my favorite things to do is just go at what date though is it appropriate to get sushi do you say what number date one first eight three just go one first day sushi yeah you could even go to a nice place yeah nice sushi for a first date oh yeah okay so i i was thinking about my own sushi dates and um there’s there’s one memory that comes up it was uh i was really trying to show that i was a capital b baller and so we went to like a nice omakase spot because this girl said that she was very into sushi that can mean a lot of things right if you’re somebody who is like us all into food very into sushi means you like omakase and you are there to experience it all and then we’re like on our way there in an uber we pre-gamed it a little bit respectfully and then she tells me a story about how she got kicked out of a sushi bar that was on mikase for like asking them to make a spicy tuna roll and they wouldn’t and then she got belligerent oh and i was like i was just like those are so many red flags oh yeah yeah yeah yeah red flags and should have should have seen a couple of those and then so this whole time of this meal i’m just like looking at her just like do not do not ruin this for me and we ended up having a pretty good time spending way too much money yeah um but yeah q sushi downtown what a what a time omakase is a very sexy concept too like i’m leaving like i’m here i’m just going to leave it up to the chef i want to get to know you like i want to know exactly what makes you tick but hey just bring up the sushi as it comes yeah i’m not even going to look at them i’m going to stare into your eyes you just literally go omakasi please and it’s just like whatever like that’s a very sexy thing like as a woman if a guy does that i’m like oh fantastic like yeah it’s so hot but another thing is like steak like everyone says steak and red wine is very sexy what’s your take on that both of you i think it’s romantic you know oftentimes you have that it is an expensive place yeah you are going to take a longer time with dinner yes that’s true as i said my wife doesn’t eat beef yeah so it’s sort of a one-sided sexiness in my life you know it’s like i’m having a great time she’s like and they don’t even have chicken okay auto-erotic mashed potatoes actually i think one of the sexiest dishes i ever had was in fact mashed potatoes wow we went to the joel rubber shopping restaurant yeah oh my gosh oh then monaco you know like the trip before we had babies it was like my 30th birthday uh and yeah it was that so many amazing things at a fancy restaurant where you spent like more money than you’ve ever spent on a food on the meal uh but then we couldn’t stop talking about the mashed potatoes just so like creamy luscious i feel like i know the facial expressions you made at each other as you put them in because the robichean potatoes it’s like equal parts butter potato he uses the fat potatoes yes he does he found the perfect starch balance of a potato to be able to it’s like a whole thing and the texture in your mouth is like a cloud it’s insane yeah one of the most insane food experiences i’ve ever had i was having dinner with my dad though so i wouldn’t consider it sexy but it was it was one of the most insane food experiences i’ve ever had also like a lot of the times whoever you’re eating with is also a very important part yeah ned what’s the sexiest eating time you’ve had with your dad yeah cool cool outback steakhouse 2014. we got the blue man yeah uh do you have any like okay so mentioning the steak thing like to me ordering food at a restaurant cooking food yourself on a date to me it’s all just a reflection of like you everything you do is putting out like a message that you want to send so for me i’m never somebody that would want to like order a big-ass steak or red wine or anything because i never want to put off like hey i’m a big masculine guy and that’s what you can expect from me through this relationship because if i did that you would be absolutely disappointed you know i’m more the type of person who’s like asking what farm the peppers are from on the kingfish crudo which is a real thing i did on my first date and almost ruined it because i didn’t know that was a douchebag thing to do he said there was he was like it’s a habanado pepper it’s a habanero that’s been bred to take out all the spice but still leave all that sunny bright flavor that’s interesting and i was like oh what farm is the habanato from because i knew it was only two farms either kong tao or row seven seed company and anyways turns out you don’t want to show your hand that much like you show the appropriate amount of who you are on a first date and then sometimes you leave the weirdness to yourself uh but yeah i think like you feel like since you already knew the two farms you weren’t like asking to get polite information you were sort of just i wanted to know it turns out it was dan barber at row seven so you can suck it yeah you knew what you were doing yeah yeah and you liked it a little bit yeah but sometimes there’s like you know you can bury a little part of yourself to only show the best part sure i get that i remember actually the first time i met my husband the first time we like met i baked a cake for my friend’s birthday i made so there was a period of time when i was like making cakes for everybody no if it was your birthday i was making you a layer cake you told me every single thing you wanted on the cake and i would do it so it’s my friend’s birthday and i bring out this big beautiful bright pink cake with sprinkles and like special candles and stuff and then that’s when i think that’s whenever he fell in love with me that’s whenever he was like you he’s like you’re the one so i think cake was actually the first one not that dinner oh sorry i had to make a little loop-de-loop little addendum yeah a little addendum so david i know you’re listening the cake was when you fell in love with me we know david listens because every time a podcast publishes he texts both of us and he’s like that was a great podcast thanks david really good feedback he always does julia come on star at least give us an apple rating [Music] there are few better foods to eat during the summer than a nice juicy grilled piece of chicken or steak or salmon that’s right whether you have a go-to favorite or you like switching up what you’re grilling you can improve your grilling lineup this summer with butcher box the subscription service that delivers a large selection of high quality meat and seafood right to your door now my favorite thing about butcher box isn’t just the top tier quality meat but it’s super affordable we’re talking less than six dollars per meal on average here people and it’s convenient every month butcherbox ships a curated selection of high quality meat right to your home there’s free shipping for the continental us and there’s no antibiotics or added hormones plus it’s packed fresh and shipped frozen for convenience so you can save time on your next grocery store trip go ahead and customize your own box or go with one of theirs either way you get exactly what you want heck yeah you do and if what you want is high quality meanwhile buddy you’re in the right place with butcherbox you get delicious 100 grass-fed beef free-range organic chicken pork raised crate-free and wild-caught seafood so get summer sizzling started with the special butcher box deal for our listeners free bacon for the life of your membership plus ten dollars off holy smokes sign up today at butcherbox.com hotdog and use code hotdog to get one pack of free bacon in every box for the life your membership plus ten dollars off your first order that’s butcherbox.com hot dog and use code hot dog to claim this deal what’s the sexiest restaurant you’ve been to in la recently do you have one um not even l.a just like the sexiest restaurant you’ve been to experience-wise um i am blanking on the name but i’m remembering the experience it was experience we’ll probably yeah we’ll ride we’re sexy people yeah um it was a omakase place in new york in uh greenwich village nice and it was just like ever every single they only did like only did sashimi every single dish was just amazing decadent and then like at the end um they did a tableside you know creme brulee where they’re just taking out a blowtorch just making it very like just very festive and and it was all it’s like a three-hour dinner just very romantic i’ll have to look up the name three hours is a long time to eat those are the best meals to me the marathon meals where you are just playing because i love especially like omakase and a lot of c-sharps you can kind of lose yourself in that right sure you get lost in the sense of place and the magic of the moment especially because it’s something that you can’t do right yeah no way like i’ve done you know kudos and stuff at home but i yeah everything i have at like a nice some coffee restaurants like i can never do that of course i don’t know where to find a freshwater river eel i think actually messed up we do know where to find it yeah we just don’t know how to do it yeah exactly i think i mean sexy it’s something that’s so subjective because i’m now at a point in my life where like i don’t i don’t want to go to the joel robichaun restaurants i don’t want to do that i want to like find the you know hole in the wall that i am very comfortable at and that serves really dank food and it’s funny i actually sent uh rhett and jessie there as well this is b taqueria mm-hmm um down in west adams nice uh they do a ton oh my gosh they do keeps coming up they do what’s taco they do with taco omen kasey it’s the chef that used to work and find out he works like joe’s in santa monica oh epic yeah that place is a breeding ground for chef talent um and then he opened up his own taco shop and decided you want to just do you know taco omakase for like four diners a night and so he sat in this table like under a palapa it’s really in just kind of like a dirt tract and it’s um it’s uh byob i don’t know if it’s legal or not i hope i don’t get them busted you can just bring your own liquor uh and so we just bought a bottle of tequila and it’s 12. you know 12-pack of medela one for the kitchen one for us good uh and then we just sat there with two friends just eating and drinking and kibbutzing the night away and then the freaking food was so unexpected because we went there with like roughly no expectations sure and then he’s like yeah there’s a tree that grows uh bougainville bougainvilleas the shower i love those above the freeway and i forage the bougainvilleas from the freeway tree and then made a mole out of it and that was the single best taco i’ve ever had in my life and just gorgeous elegant presentation it was one of those we were there for like three and a half four hours we’re drinking with the kitchen uh afterwards the dude was like our card machine is not working do you have cash and it was like a 400 meal and we’re like nah dude can we just venmo you and so we’re like drunk in the parking lot trying to like figure out a venmo transaction that’s still legal and taxable uh and to me like that that was the sexiest dinner but in fact it’s something completely unexpected you know sun rays shining through the palapa wow uh and yeah that’s my my favorite thing is like finding that new spot that i haven’t sort of heard about right now because there’s a sense of serendipity you’ve sort of like you’ve sort of stumbled upon it or you’re discovering something together sure you can like you know look up on yelp a whole bunch of things or like a michelin star thing and like curate the perfect experience and that’s that’s sexy in a different way but like when you’re kind of like discovering something together and it feels like special i think that’s very sad there’s like a risk-taking element to it that i really like i mean practice safe sex but you know like practice risk-taking meal behaviors before it i’m the opposite i love going to a place that has like five dollar signs on yelp you’re just bougie i know i am i am i’m not gonna pretend like i’m not i love i love like the whole like risk versus reward when it comes to finding like a new spot a new hole in the wall whatever but like take me to cut take me to sexy steakhouse that is a euphemism for sex by the way oh really oh i didn’t remember that from the songs to get in the cut i don’t know urban dictionary no idea what you’re talking about go on i’m sorry but no like for me i like the kind of uh extravagant opulence and i think there’s like in the cut maggie in the cut sorry but honestly like i think going to those expensive like lavish like insane places is sexy to me and then sometimes it really turns me off like thinking about like i don’t know it’s in what context does it take again it’s like it’s like in the beginning stages of like courting i love it it’s like yeah take me to this cool place that has four dollar signs on yelp order whatever you want i’m just gonna close my eyes even though i’m very particular about the menu and i’ve already looked at it like 10 days before but after like being like married or with someone for a long time you don’t want that anymore you know what i mean it gets tired it gets stale so i like it in the beginning but at the end i’m just kind of over it yeah yeah in in the cut sexual intercourse yeah yeah how about that nicole can say it i can’t i’m not gonna say it yeah but now i learned a new a new word look at us look at us expanding our vocabulary what what’s like the most intimate romantic cooking memory you have with your partner like like just the best memory you have of just getting down and not getting down getting down slide for sex and just like really like cooking something together like a big project or david and i don’t cook together ever i know well he he definitely is my my what does he do while you cook um he works he works i’m sorry i didn’t mean to like accuse like he works he works he goes and makes money yeah he goes into the office and he works and i like that yeah like i don’t like he comes in like he helps me like prep vegetables and he cuts me things and he helps me with dishes which i really appreciate but like i’m the one cooking yeah like i’m the girl like i’m gonna come i’m gonna make dinner like i know it’s very like kind of draconian to think about but like i kind of like it like i know it’s i’m the one cooking the meal you eat it tell me if it’s good or not and he always is very honest and you always tell me if the food like isn’t the best or if it needs work or if it’s delicious he’s always very honest so i don’t have any of those like synergistic uh kitchen moments with him and i kind of like that it’s my territory you know i feel that you don’t need to i won’t go to the gym with julia for that same reason that’s oh this is my place well there you go yeah yeah there you go i think we’re we’re somewhat similar we uh we’re both like type a like kind whenever it comes to like planning stuff we can run on time to psychoanalysis sorry no you are type a continue but yeah so we’ll we’ll like each kind of have the dish that we’re working on i find when you can find a good dish that you can collaborate on that’s great very sexy like like pizza flatbreads always a great dish for that because you’re like oh what topping do you want to put on yeah but i one of the one of the most delicious and romantic dishes that i can remember was something that ariel cooked uh it was uh we had um it was just a simple pasta but with fresh basil fresh cherry tomatoes from the garden some pine nuts some really good mozzarella just kind of like the cherry the cherry tomatoes are like lightly blistered just really it just was like bursting with flavors so like sweet but also uh just like everything was perfectly cooked and it’s just such a simple meal and you know just like one of those romantic date nights at home i was just like wow this is this is great that sounded very sexy i love that julie and i had this day during quarantine we would take up like really big cooking projects because she’s really into food as well and i would tend to give her you know the the less flavorful elements of it and the more structural ones right like so if like you know we’re making dough and it’s like follow this recipe and so you know i we did this like we made a ton of handmade tortellini with like you know a brave short rib ragu kind of thing great um but i mean it took us like six hours to do this thing start to finish and we were just drinking wine alone in her apartment like blinds drawn on a sunday uh i remember just sending like a video of me singing our song by taylor swift okay shirtless in the kitchen drinking wine covered in flour uh you know to one of my best friends and i was like i vaguely remember that um but to me those like big all-day events i just i almost yearn for it because we did that a ton in quarantine and then now it’s like we have you know there’s social obligations or family stuff that you have to do and now i’m just like just lock us in a room with some flour and eggs put on the tea swift grab a bottle of wine and let’s go that’s so cute i love love i really do love it yeah we’re i think we’re all in that we need like a detractor maggie how much do you hate love yeah i think you gave the middle fingers to love i feel that i feel that no what’s not a sexy food but people think it’s a sexy food tell them josh what’s the thing are you what what’s the thing you hate the the thing dipped in the thing oh chocolate covered strawberries yeah i thought you were going to talk about polenta cause i talked about making polenta i would try it that is sexy in college when i was faking it i would like you know invite girls everybody hey i’ll cook because i need food for some freaking reason i would always make polenta with mushroom fricassee and now if i ever made that for anybody in my life i would just jump off the balcony because that is the it was scott conant’s recipe too nice and it and and no one liked it no one was have you think the college girls nicole only matter you pulled a number to party drinking light freakishly is not the thing to me is yeah but no it’s chocolate covered strawberries or not i’m not even sure cooking uh at home for a college girl is really no yeah that’s the move no one wanted it no one asked it it never got any positive response it was always like this is weird and i’m uncomfortable i was like well did you try the chianti but on the subject of chocolate covered strawberries so you think chocolate strawberries are uh are are not romantic i think they’re bad food i think they’re a bad food i think i think they’re i think romantic because yeah the idea of them is always more romantic than the actual taste i think you’re right cause like the way that they look and the act of like dipping it in something gooey that then hardens you know it’s like kind of sexy it’s like oh yeah nothing says sex like goo that hearted i mean it’s kind of it’s like evocative of like like you know dripping wax or something like that uh or like strawberries and cream or something uh but when you taste it it’s not great the chocolate is not good anymore yeah it also wasn’t great chocolate to begin with and then the strawberry is like way too large you’re you’re not getting a good like chocolate the strawberry ratio yeah not my thing i agree with you well what’s what’s the alternative what’s the fondue what’s the pitch right here fondue cheese fondant oh yeah but what do you do what’s the sexiest thing to dip and cheese on you what’s your give me give me a piece of bread a simple piece of yeah that’s probably right red is sexy i think make creative taste sexy pickles baby give me some food give me like a nice pickle plate with like a zatar yogurt in the middle sexiest vegetable on three one two three cucumber this is the gender divide nicole this is the gender divide celery root is hot when you make it into a puree what do you know why yes it’s so sexy it’s not much it smells like farts sunchokes make you fart worse than anything there i was looking at some uh someone in the office i don’t want to out who but they had like a dietary supplement and sunchoke was like part of it no way yeah if you don’t know that if your sexiest vegetable can be distilled into a powder to make your poop better i don’t think that’s sexy or well culinary isn’t sexy there’s nothing sexier than a healthy gi tract josh come on come on we’re making kombucha cocktails all day baby something about the like the things that are gooey things that are like the oysters it’s like they’re slippery sushi is also kind of like i feel like there’s just something are we just looking for foods that remind us of of sex lube yeah any food that’s self lubricating looking to just lube up our mouths i will say the thing about oysters i know it’s like crackers are sexy unless they’re chicken in a biscuit those are good no i will okay so so they’re ned and i both went to cucumber obviously it’s a very phallic food it’s green greens sexy color it’s like the jolly green giants dong uh but no there there are many phallic foods out there and there are very few yonic foods and also there is not a great antonym for phallic other than yonic which is that’s about it a new one over related to yoni which is nicole the feminine divine sure anywho you know more than more yonic foods that’s how we’re ending this [Music] all right nicole ned we’ve heard what you and i have to say now it’s time to find out what other wacky ideas are rattling out there in the universe it’s time for a segment we call opinions are like casseroles [Music] all right nicole first off you want to take you don’t take a crash sure the life of e.t says chocolate-covered strawberries okay are only good if the chocolate is melted fondue chocolate and the strawberry is cold hardened chocolate mix a mess and doesn’t stick to the strawberry once you’ve taken the first bite we already talked about we’ve covered it yeah they’re they they know what’s up but they’re adding the fondue element nicole you think poking and dipping sexy i like pokemon fondue chocolate i don’t i don’t know if i’m just like it’s just melted chocolate they probably add a little bit of like cream to make it like ganache and you just kind of dip and you go and it doesn’t hurt so it doesn’t harden it doesn’t harden as much it like kind of uh gels and it gets like fudgy fudges yeah the melting pot now that’s a sexy restaurant a couple screaming kids on their birthday i’ve always wanted to go to the melting pot and i’ve never been i know justin bieber loves the melting pot i really want to go uh is that a ringing endorsement for you i guess i mean i don’t know i don’t like the guy i don’t like this i don’t dislike it right like if justin bieber likes it i want to try it at least once i mean yeah at least one you sexy ghost54 i would let cheese pull all over me whenever it wanted oh yeah just like wrapping around you like a hot blanket oh yeah yeah i just i like just nothing like mozzarella sticks to get you in the mood but i mean it’s true like looking at cheese pulls that’s like it’s like especially on like online videos oh what kind of online videos you’re watching with ariel huh it’s like on there like tweets gives you a boner after after a decade you know you need to keep keeping things nice just watch some nice listen i know it’s fake in the pizza commercial but it’s real to me yeah that’s cut it’s like a satisfying it’s like it’s you’re just like oh like whenever someone like takes whipped cream and like uh like swipes the whipped cream so it’s like very even it’s a satisfying like your pleasure center just goes baby boop like i’m awake now i don’t want to eat the kick i just want to watch someone make that i don’t know i just like to sit in the corner and watch baby just just kind of you know open the little blinds in the closet and let’s begin with the gooeyness i think cheese is objectively disgusting i like objectively is the gross if you think about somebody who has never heard of what cheese is right okay it’s like have you ever been to the cheese section of a grocery store i love it it just smells like feet you just took cow titty milk and you just let it rot until it just kind of pulls and stretches like a mucous membrane from the body well yeah when you when you paint it like that that’s what it is like the reality of the situation of course it is a disgusting food i enjoy it well how about this how about you’re taking cow milk and fermenting it so it can have more flavor and uh you add a little bit of bacteria i’m not doing really well sometimes okay next up this is me nice me jg how do i say this jgm fan says the most sensual way to prepare and consume liver is in moose form then what’s the most sensual way you’ve prepared a liver i mean for my wife it’s just throw it in the garbage immediately um i would say like you know something spreadable right like you know mm-hmm just like a pate which i guess is what they’re saying with yeah but they’re on the right on the right track i like i don’t have a ton of experience it’s often times the the giblets come out and ariel’s like ew gross i’m like but we could do so many things with this i like liver i think it can be sex i think any food can be sexy if you try to make it sexy what i’m trying to think if there’s a food that you couldn’t make sexy i mean if you okay if i pan seared a really good liver like a chicken liver or like a beef liver i think it could be sexy i think so you have to really gussied up we gotta give liver a new name we have to rebrand liver what’s the what’s the word for what’s like the french word for it like i don’t know but in thymus gland is sweet breads oh that’s a good point thymus gland is when you think about it eating a thymus gland that’s uh freaking gross yeah second date i ate a thymus gland with jules but like whatever she understands food good good hot it’s super hot man what does the thymus gland do uh is it like hormone i believe it’s part of the endocrine system yeah regulates your body bro it’s just straight your body’s gonna go through changes you see and ned’s gonna regulate oh man uh it’s not that a moose is the sexiest way to prepare liver it’s that every other way is incredibly unsexy yeah you know it’s true and also yeah jules doesn’t really mess with liver that hard but i would have made a lot more pureed livers some very distinct smell but then again soda oysters yeah i make my mom liver sometimes not really sex yeah never made never made david liver never made any sort of like partner liver it’s not a sexy food i’d love a good chicken liver mousse and to me it’s a very sexy food the liver at alamento is another sexy date night restaurant elementary so sexy very intimate i had the most insane pasta experience there the tortellini and broto was probably the sexiest experience i’ve had with food it explodes with cheese mush in your mouth that’s sexy it was exploding it was delicious it was the most like my feet started to like tap on the floor a little toe curler from the pasta yeah it was insane elemental is great who else has a really good chicken liver toast uh animal animal remember that oh no i was gonna say uh best yet 69 nice sex and food never mix it always ends up with things that shouldn’t be sticky getting sticky and a mess to clean up keep the kitchen and the bedroom separate anyone want to volunteer i’m going to pass on this i’m grossly opposed to it i like the smells of each separately don’t like the smells of them together especially when it’s aerosolized like whipped cream no no that was an experiment that i’m never gonna do again i never got but i think it’s like you should you should have the experiment oh you gotta try it you’re not gonna know if you haven’t tried it you should try it and then you can know do i ever wanna do that again ned it sounds like you’ve done more than experimented with it man no i think we did it i think we did it about once and that was that was cool and all and then yeah everything was sticky and that was that yeah i’m gonna have to lay down a tarp i firmly believe in like compartmentalizing your life food is a big part of my life and i can’t have the food come into the sex part it’s just not at this point in my life you don’t want to turn yourself into an ice cream site no no what’s that what’s that fetish called though it’s it’s something like smoshing but it’s not smoshing because smosh is the company that exists i don’t know but it’s a thing like my fetish yeah my my recipes um from my food blog were very decadent yeah meg if you’re going to search it good luck the recipes i used right from our food blog were very decadent and once they ended up on this tumbler that was called like you know like i love food or food love or something and i was like oh it must be another food blog sharing my stuff and i click in and it is just naked people smashing themselves into cakes washing splashing not themselves and sometimes it’s like sweet stuff chocolate syrup sprinkles and sometimes it’s just like bunch of like gravy you know it’s like no pretty cool shadow we’re not we’re not king shamers here and you know we talk about omakasi a lot today but yeah uh for an early try guys video i was a sushi model which is the uh you know vibe of eating sushi off someone’s naked body yeah a little little strange little kind of what how’d you feel doing that um yeah i felt objectified uh and then uh you know it was a little ticklish oh my god we invited the entire office like a office wide email anyone who wants to can go as like free sushi didn’t tell them what it was going to be uh and it was uh that was embarrassing that was a thing you learn a lot about who’s taking sushi off you from where and that i feel like it says more about the people right right you know yeah remember when you put ranch on your body yo yeah yeah they audibly gagged yeah yeah this is not like an old story this is friday the last work day that we had been in here i was uh shirtless on the the countertop where we cook all of our stuff covering myself in ranch through a photo shoot yeah it was like a bit it was a bit for a tick tock so if you can’t i have no shame i’m like gross but then when it comes down to like actual sex and food no i don’t want that good yeah i’ll cover myself in range for a bit of course god this is two days after covering myself we don’t want to give away when stuff shot but i covered myself in a maple syrup in a baby pool just days before that correct simmo deadlift says avocado toast that is done correctly is kind of sexy low-key oh wow okay that i wouldn’t have thought of that one i believe you have a morning after do you have a morning after avocado toast in the book i think we do yeah that is our avocados i’m eating that and i was like that is a good time for them is where my head was going it’s like you know the avocado toast not sexy unless yes it is the morning after yeah if you can whip out just a really stellar avocado toast morning after it’s impressive a couple fun little garnishes you know yeah breakfast is breakfast sexy morning after breakfast morning afternoon do you have a morning after breakfast i used to make eggs benedict oh i used to turn it out oh my god what kind of what what was the holiday is he double boiled or just yeah i would be very impressive without a hollandaise i am an impressive young woman like if last night didn’t impress you let me jump in this morning i would make eggs benedict and it would they’d be like wow and then one time i microwaved the eggs benedict like a like a dummy like a dummy and it broke and i’m like and i was just in shambles i’m like i’m so sorry i’m michael jackson and he’s like it’s chill like don’t worry about it just have some toast but eggs magic used to be like the meal after and it was uh it was good yeah it was a good it was impressive impressive i just always have the things for a frittata you know and you say frittata it’s kind of sexy you know but i’m not proud of it that’s like good frittata’s a sexy egg yeah you know sexy a better morning after meal um also sumo deadlifts um anyone who says sumo deadlifts don’t count um i think that’s a gender bias what is a sumo deadlift sumo deadlift is where you split your legs out wide and you hold the bar from the middle in between your feet as opposed to hands on the outside of your feet oh you dead lift it that way and um women tend to be better yeah yes i tend to be better at seeing i know general sort of hip structure yeah yeah so shout out you know do you see my deadlifts that was my pedestal all righty we got sally whipped cream smells awful after 20 minutes not for use in the boudoir okay well somebody do it more than 20 minutes okay okay i see you again okay i’m in front of the tv catching up catching up on breaking bad there’s one way to fix this and it’s coolwhip hydrolyzed oils ladies yeah you don’t have to do the noise can be kind of off-putting for some people that’s nice you i say just kill mayonnaise you know what there you go it’s just gonna go away what oh you your ivory tower we’ll give you a rash though michigan09 says drizzle honey on anything and it’s sexy it’s like bee vomit know what honey honey is right bees they vomited up i i wasn’t thinking of it in terms of that no you two you just gotta start thinking deeper you know jeans they had me at drizzle honestly they had me at drizzle you could have said drizzle and then anything and i would have been like yeah drizzle of mayonnaise stop bringing mayonnaise into this dude honestly if you could thin it up and drizzle that bad boy i’d be like oh yeah the hello guys bring that into the bedroom please i think dieseling honey on certain things is very sexy like on like a beautiful piece of brie like go for it like uh drizzling truffle honey on like a piece of like i don’t know subuco might be good but not on everything on some things yes you know what i’ve done my uh morning after that’s been successful and it’s very true to myself nice little fruit and yogurt parfait how about that a parfait parfait yeah yeah you know kind of you get a nugget nice glass it’s a little like i’m on like running out the door to my pilates class but like it could be sexy again i i try and like temper people’s expectations because i think a lot of people especially when i was singling on the apps it was like you know not to brag but like you know like six two a lot of my photos will be flexing and lifting so you don’t want to put that forward but then i’m like i want to subdue your expectations of that so we’re eating you know a nice seafood heavy elegant dinner drinking white wine and then eating a yogurt parfait in the morning mm-hmm right mm-hmm that’s exciting too heavy slowly down all right all right last one here we got at paw bearing there isn’t a way to shop for zucchini that isn’t sexual it’s easy for me i just go in there and i pick up some zucchinis i put them in a bag it doesn’t need to be sexual sounds pretty sexy to me nicole ned what’s the sexiest time you’ve had with the zucchini uh well you know and probably like shooting a video where you’re testing out sex hacks and putting a condom on a zucchini yeah that’s that’s actually way less sexy to me than just putting it in the bag yeah probably that’s that’s pretty yeah does that mean i win the sexy competition uh what is it people are sensual vegetables are sensuous obscure reference to the movie animal house all right all right on that note let me scroll to the part where our outro is despite the fact that i’ve done it 90 times can’t remember what to say oh thank you for listening we thank the listeners every time they’re entitled that’s absurd if you want to hear more from us here in the mythical kitchen we got new episodes for you every wednesday if you want to be featured on opinions or like casseroles you can hit us up on twitter at mythical chef or anthony zada with a hashtag opinion casserole and for more mythical catching check us out on youtube where we launch new videos every week and of course if you want to share pictures of your dishes hit us up on instagram at mythical kitchen ned thanks so much for joining us and talking about you know uncomfortable subjects congrats on having sex to produce two lovely children amen yeah where can people find you what do you got to plug uh you can check out the date night cookbook at date nightcookbook.com beautiful it’s it’s a really great cookbook and it is like very it’s actually has a utility which is a thing that like you know not a lot of cookbooks do you like buy it cook for your partner uh if us talking about how much we love cooking for our partner didn’t sell you over the last 45 minutes or so nothing will but yeah really awesome job dad good stuff thanks [Music] you