ramble [Music] welcome to best friends back all right the show where two High School best friends try the best friend thing again I’m Stevie win Levine and I’m necking home ifad and today it’s yet another eel sex episode which as we partially have established I don’t think maybe we have is when we each each bring a topic to present to the other person blindly yes yeah that will now be known publicly as an eel sex episode oh great yeah what’s going on I am very hot it is very I know I see that you’ve cut the sleeves off of your sweatshirt uh of your hoodie so yeah might you also be hot on your end you would be right it is so freaking hot here I don’t know about your week I’m excited to hear about your weekend my weekends have been very very boring lately partially due to the fact that it’s so [ ] hot outside but I um actually went out this weekend which is very big for me what yes like socially went out like went to a bar a bar I was gonna ask if you went to someone’s house maybe that no no no that’s not going that’s not a that’s not doesn’t count as going out going out okay out and um yeah I decided which I don’t know what compelled me but I was like if I’m going to go out I’m gonna pick like the hot place to go out to because I want some good like people watching but what I didn’t calculate was like oh my gosh I was awkward pre-pandemic the skyrocketing social anxiety that I had getting out of the Uber and looking at yeah all of the crowd of hot people at this hot place was overwhelming to me oh my God it was there a line situation it was a it’s this cool like classic Italian Bar that some hipsters bought and revived so there’s like that type of vibe going on and there’s like all these little cafe tables on the outside and on the inside and it was just freaking packed like there was not a seat you know and everyone is I mean everyone in La is like so gorgeous and gorgeous and um also the friends I was meeting a couple and they were running 20 minutes late so that was also adding to the awkwardness but did you pretend to read on your phone while you waited that that was the other thing I was like I have this thing that like if someone peered over my shoulder and I was on Instagram I just can’t do it because I feel like judge like oh this [ ] is on her like she has nothing better to do than look at Instagram so I’m like okay I guess I could get some emailing done I’m like why am I here at this like sceny hot place emailing like two storefronts down waiting for this couple to arrive but luckily finally my friends came and um the best part of the night I think is that uh because we were outside I made a dog friend um Bert the Schnauzer for her yes okay her introduced himself yes Bert sat on my feet uh the whole time away from his parents and so I felt like that was a win but Bert’s parents were at a table and at which two other people had just gotten up from and these two people had two like what appeared to be untouched entirely drinks on the table okay yeah and so Bert’s parents approached and they were like is anyone sitting here and we’re like no we think that they left and my guy friend who I was with had his chair angled towards that table and he was like listen I don’t think they touched their drinks I really don’t think they did so I think that you guys should have the drinks and um you know they were like joking around they’re like yeah I think that you know this alcohol would kill anything but like it was like you know just like a entry point for conversation with strangers right but my friend I forgot has this like prank betting thing that he likes to do that like propels him in life and so I wasn’t really thinking about it but he’s like watching this couple and then like every 20 minutes like insert something about the drinks that are on the table that they haven’t cleared you know that are still there and brings it back up and then like an hour into them sitting there we notice that they’ve had the drinks that the strangers left previously and then they you know they’d say goodbye and Bert leaves my feet and everything and my friend goes yes and I was like what are you and he’s like I knew it I knew they would drink the drinks I can’t believe they drank the drinks and I’m like this [ ] has been having like nice conversation with us but the entire time he’s been playing this game that he wants these strangers to drink these strange drinks and they did it they did it they drank strangers drinks and he wow I think it took definitely it seems like that was their second or their third drink yeah yeah right okay that makes total sense which is something that was a joke I threw into polite conversation maybe after those drinks you’ll be more likely to drink those drinks you know so we made a little game out of the evening I love it did you go with Cassie no Cassie is uh she puts her foot down she does not want to go out I want to see people and I respect that so I don’t push I just like just leave me a little cookie some milk oh yeah she sent me um she sent me a picture of uh pizza and wings and I was like I’ll be there in a minute time to go that’s all you have to do today going out story did you go out this past uh week well we stayed in my father-in-law was visiting us this weekend so I uh yeah we had a little family Barbecue which was really nice it’s it’s a lot of work yeah I think I I I’m also getting used to what it’s like to host people again and I’m like it’s an all-day thing it’s all weekend thing to like prepare for one meal for people other people yeah and also usually like yeah exactly you start judging like every aspect of your house and your life like oh my gosh I hope no one looks into this corner at this like board on the ground yeah yes I’m like cleaning cleaning the rooms upstairs in case somebody go somehow goes upstairs to check out the place Zach was Zach was legit waiting he was waiting 30 minutes before people came I’m like honey now it’s not go get in the shower you’re on grill Duty his dad his dad was so nice he was helping us with something in the patio we have this mosquito problem and he was convinced he’s like the way you wash you wash and then you put a Clorox rinse everywhere and so also two hours before everyone arrives Zach and his father have gone to the hardware store picks up a gallon of Clorox [Laughter] everyone’s arriving like I’m gonna drive as long as this dries before people come I’m all for it did it work it actually it did work for a few hours and then at night they started coming back but for the time when people were there I guess it did the trick anyway I chalk it up to a nice nice you know father-son activity and dousing the place in Clorox Jesse yeah exactly but I got back so I got back Saturday um and went straight into hosting hosting Duty so I’m coming down from like just a lot of [ ] because this week I wrapped the um horror film that I’ve been working on for the last month and it kind of goes into my my whole sex my topic yeah my topic for the day yeah because so I was in this scary movie uh that had lots of elements of scary in it but I have to admit something actually like scary movies yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I’m there with you it’s not that I don’t it’s not a like I should I should say it’s not that I don’t like them it’s that I’m too scared to watch them yeah well I do feel like that Taps into why horror Fanatics like horror films they like the feeling of being scared it gives them like this energetic high and it’s like a roller coaster Rush yes yeah exactly right but there’s so much there’s so many horror films out there and I think it might be like one of if not the most lucrative genre because production costs are super low yeah yeah hey zombie zombie film those green titties were cheap yeah exactly um is that what you’re talking about today you’re talking about um yes horror films I’m talking about horror films I’m not talking about like I’m not going I’m not talking about particular films I’m not I’m gonna try I’m talking about why the [ ] people like to watch scary movies okay it’s been on my mind as I work on this so this I think I just told you hahaha well okay what’s your topic I’m done for the day laughs Miss know-it-all oh geez so I I thought if I can get a little intellectual about it I can prep myself for any future scary films that come my way okay because this picture this [ ] ain’t saying no to an offer I’m not in a position to say no I I mean your experience being a part of a horror film that part is not scary in the same way as like being a consumer of a horror film I mean you see all the behind the scenes mechanics that’s what go into making totally scary so yeah totally and that helped that helped a lot because when I first read the script I found it scary really yeah I found it’s scary it’s a page Turner and as and I found parts of it gross yeah and it was just it was [ ] scary and then whatever you’re really hyping up the film well if you’re if you’re a horror film person you’ll like it it’s scary I mean it was just I was nervous reading the script I was like what’s gonna happen next what happens to me is scary I get like burnt to a crisp and then the [ ] that my character I got I got a little oil burn I got my arm this weekend that’s something else that happened it was scary let me tell you that’s how connecting to your character so my person gets my person gets burnt to a crisp right and so I’m like there’s all this character work that you have to do right to get into the role so my character she so you know there’s a whole relationship that she has with different people I’m developing that but then there’s this physical part of it where I’m being burned and after after I’ve been burnt I have this conversation with somebody in the film and I and then I’m like okay what would I feel like wait first burn mid-action or you survive the burning and then you’re like you have like you’re bandaged up and then you’re having like a real life conversation or you’re like I’m you know I’m not sure this is a conversation we’re having so my character I don’t know how what I can yeah you’re trying not to spoil uh yeah I don’t I don’t want to spoil it but while the wounds are still fresh I’m having a conversation with someone okay and so I go into this like deep Google rabbit hole researching what it’s like to be burned it was actually pretty dramatic because I was watching real life like footage of people burning themselves like self-immolation which is different because those people are choosing to burn themselves out of like protest usually um like monks that’s a that’s a thing that that happens yeah and so I was watching these black and white films from like back in the day of monks burning themselves and I’m like trying to be as technical as possible because it’s incredibly disturbing but what’s crazy is that when you’re burning it’s only the first few minutes that are super painful because then you just go numb exactly yeah so anyway I’m doing this [ ] research I’m getting nervous at home I’m I’m anxious acts like honey what’s going on burned to death I’m pretty nervous so so and then I’m on set and I’m like okay I’ve got I’ve got the whole thing and they start and they they do the makeup and I ask them what’s your inspiration for the for the burn look and they tell me they show me a picture from this the show Chernobyl did you ever yeah yeah do you remember those burn victims no oh do not show me okay don’t I see you looking down like you’re gonna show me something let me just imagine I just want you to see what I looked like okay I’ll I’ll look at you I’ll look okay look at look at me ah which my my person there is showcasing third degree critical Burns you know she’s coming in with bright Reds scabs they put they put KY gel on my face not the first to make it look to make it look shiny oh God isn’t KY gel only a like Lube sexual thing yes but also my dog Enzo who was a very old dog he got his little wee-woo stuck out in his old age because it would like he’d like take it out and then it would dry and then the vet yeah you had to use KY to get it back in which again I mean there there’s a wee-woo involved so yeah I do think that it’s um it’s you know we were related I thought so but I didn’t say anything because the makeup artist was like now for the KY now for the KY but they put it put extensions in my hair and then [ ] up the extensions and burned them this is a really intense it was wild um this is the the kind of makeup that I have on is the [ ] that I turn away from when I when I’m watching something like Chernobyl like I couldn’t watch those scenes yeah because they were so lifelike for me that it was just too it was just too much your ear looks like uh like a dog treat oh yeah I feel like there’s a ripen yeah like this little like Piggy or like chewables like it looks like you could just like pop your ear off and then like yes give it to Enzo as his Wii U was being put back in you know yeah yeah wait Logan I just I just I’m reading Logan you you have caught on fire before we knew this oh from drinking that stupid drinking thing you did okay what is that sensation like so it had spread because the alcohol had splashed my face so the fire spread across my face and then I was with these idiot boys so they’re blowing on my face and then it was spreading on the fire out of my face so my whole eyebrow was like and I’m like slap yeah yeah bad choices bad choices so I like him slapping it stopping and slopping it it’s like horrible horrible horrible pain and then you should have just waited a few minutes exactly exactly and then I had to go to the oh the Burn Unit did you have do you have any scarring it comes out sometimes in the Sun so I have to be careful did you use a lot of Ky Jones whatever excuse me I’m gonna need a gallon a gallon of KY well yeah so anyway it was it was nice to to see the art and all the technical stuff behind making a scary movie so I could hopefully be a little less scared I’m gonna test it out and like watch us try to watch a scary movie to see like if that helps me realize it’s not real yeah but I did I ended up looking into like why why people like it because something is happening psychologically and I’m sure biologically that like some people like it and and some people don’t and you said Stevie you don’t like scary movies I don’t I I have a um one of my close friends who I used to be a lot closer with is a director and she writes and directs primarily horror films um and Anthology series and so when we were closer I would go with her to various different premieres and screening yeah and events and so there was like a period of time in my life where I got used to going to horror films and I like I I think I developed techniques in order to make myself okay with uh going my technique is covering my ears okay so a big one is I think is the audio like the way that the sound design like the sound design is so important for a horror film and to me it really is like the scariest part like I could if I watched it without sound I don’t think I would be scared so yes that that’s one of the things although that’s not a very cool thing to do when you’re with your horror film director friend at like a Premiere event so that’s not one that I could like really hardcore adopt without being judged closing your eyes okay so my biggest thing and I don’t know if this would work for everyone but I pick a corner of the screen to look at and so that way like you can’t see me I’ve covered my eyes my ears aren’t plugged or whatever I’m looking straight ahead but like I’m actually looking in like the tiniest corner of the screen so yeah so like that’s the image that I’m focusing on so that okay yeah and it really really works that’s smart that’s super and it is so fun because like even in previews in a theater if there’s a scary movie preview I’m that [ ] that’s screaming you’re screaming you scream oh I jump I’m super like any of that uh what is that called there’s like jump scare jump scare yeah big time Big Time okay you’re more reactive than I am I don’t there’s no audible screaming or um flinching that I do I think it’s just like a deep-seated psychological figure that I have uh you’re Stone Cold Steve Austin over here I mean listen you gotta play it cool when you’re at those types of events yeah you gotta play it okay I’m gonna I think that’s something for me to I I totally think I can do that stare at a point on the screen yeah and keep like talking to yourself in your mind yeah exactly that and also like um a lot of alcohol is really nice that also just helps the situation but I acknowledge that’s not always a possibility it’s not always a thing so I looked at some research on on what this attraction to horror is because again if I intellectualize it maybe I can [ ] conquer it and there were three things that the that this psychologist kind of talked about one of them is tension which they create using mystery suspense Gore which nasty Terror shock all of those things create the tension the other one is relevance I thought this one was really interesting because what it’s saying is that people are who like these horror films are attracted to the theme that’s depicted so like fear of death or people coming around on a social issue so like Jordan peels film get out where the scary thing was racism right so like that’s a film that I felt like I could watch a little bit more easily because I was like yeah okay I can’t I can get behind this social issue yeah and watch it this way or like do you remember saw did you ever watch any of the Saw movies I think so it’s been a minute but I think so yeah the idea was like the person the person that was the people being killed had committed some kind of moral okay okay like a deck string ass type of thing yeah yeah yeah exactly so it’s like even as somebody who like just scares like some kind of Justice yes okay yes yes yes so there’s the relevance and then the last one was UN they call it unrealism this is the idea that the movie Watcher knows that what they’re watching is fake but they’re entertained by The Experience they’re entertained by the fact that like the the movie maker has made something super realistic you know with whatever the music the the the the the angles that they’re using all of that but they’re they’re entertained by the fact that this is like a kind of realistic experience that they know they’re actually safe from so the the movies that always scared me the most or the ones that like I would think about afterwards in the broader horror genre were like the psychological Thriller types where totally I’m not fully convinced that this couldn’t happen and especially like in this like True Crime world that we live in where bad [ ] is happening constantly like growing up I wasn’t afraid of monsters I was afraid that my parents were gonna get into a car accident or like a burglar was gonna come in and accidentally shoot me and like all these like real life things that could happen not this you know like classic horror Trope like creature you know like the girl from The Ring or whatever it’s gonna the ring come out of the Ring The Ring was an interesting one the ring was in my memory like one of the more like it stands out to me is like that was scary like that was a scary movie but it was super entertaining I don’t know why I even watched the ring probably because there was so much hype around it but uh yeah that kind of is a borderline psychological Thriller type of thing but yeah I was gonna to say there’s this like response from at least like the indie horror film Community people that I know when I was hanging out around them which is like this like laughter or like joy in that way as like part of the mutant the horror movie watching experience where it’s like that was awesome and so ridiculous that that happened I’m gonna laugh now and I’m like I can’t that’s not good how are you guys letting go why are you letting go so quickly but they talk about that where they say that the people again that love it like your friends there’s this intense relief right after the movie ends or after whatever has happened that’s a super positive feeling that trumps the scare and that’s the desirable thing you’re so high tension that as soon as it’s over it’s like yeah but for me like you I guess it’s like that pause is super positive feeling doesn’t no I’ve just been traumatized yeah maybe I should just remember that movies aren’t real you know but like so [ ] scary yeah I think that also arguably a good horror film does make you think after the fact so it’s it’s yeah I think those things are in competition with each other I didn’t even watch Scream because I was too scared but that scene I’ve seen clips of the beginning of the movie where Drew Barrymore picks up the phone that was so scary to me yeah because it seems real it seems like it would actually happen yeah that for up until that movie came out in 96 yeah okay I was too young to see it we were like seven years old we were too young no yeah but I didn’t I thought that scene just from the clip I was like oh she’s babysitting she’s at somebody else’s house and she’s locked okay in my mind it was a babysitting scene so I kid you not I was always a little bit scared when I was babysitting somebody at night I was like don’t pick up the [ ] phone I don’t care if it’s the parents yeah stay focused I just found out yesterday when I was looking up scream that that was babysitting at her house watching a movie with her boyfriend yeah yeah she picks up the phone yeah yeah oh God so anyway Crazy Town crazy but here’s here’s I got a little bit of relief because I’ve read that people who are less empathetic enjoy horror films more okay so huh imma take that as a personal win I like on the scale of empathy I don’t I would I’m not you know on the yeah we know yeah but yeah you would think that I would enjoy more films I guess that’s what I would say if he’s like um I don’t have uh feelings uh so uh you would think I would like horror films well it’s feeling feelings for others yeah in particular the gore thing I do not understand like I cannot I I don’t it doesn’t scare me and it also is not entertaining to me I I don’t understand does it gross you out yes or or you’re numb to it no it grows the stupid no it totally grosses me out which is a different feeling than being scared I think so it is like an additional like thing that people who like horror films like to view like I don’t but they say that Gore relates to tension not necessarily fear so Gore helps create the tension and then all these other elements sleep to fear so I mean yeah it’s just nasty it’s just nasty okay just like your face but but I thought I’d bring it back to to dating since what we we so recently talked about it okay Cupid they did a bunch of research and this is long ago okay but they did a bunch of research that identified three questions that would help determine couple compatibility and one of those questions is do you like horror movies the idea is that if you and your partner or your prospective partner or answering the same then you have you know it links to whether or not you’re you’re meant you’re meant for each other I don’t believe in that I think I believe in that really uh because because Cassie and I don’t have the same like tastes in movies and TV like no it doesn’t say it’s the question is that do you like the same things it’s only on your subject on horror yeah exactly okay yeah I mean neither one of us like horror films well I know because I asked Cassie I asked Cassie some of these questions these three questions to see how she would answer because I asked Zach as well are you so he’s gonna become a horror film for me in real time it’s about to become gory real quick and I feel like I’m gonna be the recipient you you can had a you had an interview with Cassie that you both have been like just not talking about yeah why would I talk about it with you I mean but she’s like she’s just she what else is she lying to me about that’s where my mind goes I’m gonna have to take this up with her immediately not only did I learn Cassie’s answers to these questions but I also learned that she’s a lovely person I love her use of emojis really creation points and I I found that so interesting given you know Little Miss uptight over here who doesn’t want to drop a trumpet um that is so interesting did she get back to you in a timely manner from the time you texted yeah what super fast super fast yeah but I’ll start I’ll start with Zach and my answer so these are the questions oh I’m sorry I’m just going to tease Cassie’s part and then you’re gonna wait I’m creating my own horror film right now right I know so there are only three questions only one of them is do you like horror movies okay Zach and I both of our answers yeah okay the next question is have you ever traveled around another country alone both of our answers is yes weirdly both of our answers yes in Mexico wow okay the next one wouldn’t it be fun to check it all and go live on a sailboat [ ] no a sailboat is very specific so Zach and I are what I’m saying is we’re perfectly compatible and I want to know compatible yeah I want to know whether or not you guys are gonna last so Stevie what’s your answer to do you like horror movies I don’t like horror movies I also know Cassie doesn’t like horror movies well there you go good very nice have you traveled around another country alone I have not traveled around another country alone I don’t know what Cassie would Define as a loan for herself because she could have gone either way on that okay well Cassie said yes for the country one and then for sailboat for you wouldn’t it be fun I feel like I know your answer to this question um well it’s interesting because we’ve recently talked so the friend that uh dared the people to drink the drinks he does a lot of sailing and so uh he and another friend are into that type of thing and they’ve gone on multiple trips and I recently to Cassie was like I would like to go on a trip and she was like I would not uh so um my guess is that but here’s the complicated part she wants to go anywhere that’s not Los Angeles so I think she answered no that she wouldn’t want to live on a sailboat but she has an instinct of like wanting to get the [ ] out of here so yeah but what’s your answer I would not want to live on a sailboat I was suggesting we go on a little jaunt a nice jaunt perhaps a private Chef on board have a lot of lobster you know a tropical deck exact situation oh and Cassie loves below deck but the drama so yeah that’s my full context well I don’t want to upset you or anything but I think tonight you two should have a time because she wanted a jacket well that’s I gave you the context if she wants to get out of La um you did so yeah we’ll have to talk about uh why the sailboat Adventures I offered have not yet her standards well maybe this question will kind of get her thinking about this this new possibility of life she could have with you okay thank you [Music] oh man what a transition into my topic which you kind of may already know I’m talking about but you’ve forgotten I got um back to the Emoji of it all I got there’s a point at which I got pretty heated about uh some emails some email tendencies that people have and you know you rightfully curtailed my rant uh because that was not the topic of conversation but I thought to myself you know I’d like to bring to the table things that I’m very passionate about and one of the things that I’m passionate about is emailing in the proper way and not [ ] pissing me off when you contact me and just like generally things that I think people should be aware of Are You Gonna direct me to the email that you’re referencing that I sent you yes totally right there no I Googled I was like surely uh before I go on my Merry way of uh outlining the things that I that really peeve me off is that a for I don’t know yeah um I’ll see what other people are saying I mean it turns out I’m I’m pretty pissed about a situation that not a lot of people are pissed about because like the number one thing on multiple lists was like yeah grammar don’t [ ] give a [ ] about grammar in an email like an email’s purpose is to like clearly communicate something and um as long as you’re doing that the whole like I’m I’m pissed about grammar thing like girl if you’re pissed about grammar you’re gonna be pissed your entire life about everyone around you um yeah and that so that didn’t make my my list but I wanted to back up and I mean to me I told you I get hundreds of emails a day I’m constantly emailing as I’m doing other things I would like to add that I also have an email system that I’ve implemented that I’ve used for the past decade plus and that’s I use my inbox as like almost a to-do list yeah so okay I have a bunch of different folders and subfolders that I sort things into and as I’m going through my email I’ll answer or engage and then I’ll sort it out of my inbox box into one of the folders and so like I have and a healthy amount of anxiety associated with purely my inbox that I like to keep as clean as possible so like at the end of the day if my inbox is like going off of one screen scroll I’m like oh [ ] I’ve gotta I’ve gotta do more to empty my inbox um so just all that to say so you just start deleting emails there’s sorry oh my God there’s I just there’s so there’s so many emails and if you’re you know in a job where email is a part of your life and you’re listening right now I’m sure there’s little things that your co-workers do that take you off or or external Partners or whatever it is so I mentioned before the things that piss me off hey team when you’re not on the same team as someone um which of course falls into the greeting category and then smiley faces and a professional email yep okay so we’ll let’s start with greetings I think that in general email communication Falls closer to the Casual side of the spectrum than it does to like the overly formal side of things when you’re using email you’re using it to get a fairly timely response in a professional way with other people you’re not [ ] getting out like a business letterhead and like writing out or typing up like a letter that needs to go out so like in your greeting there’s a number of ways that are acceptable but like you don’t want to go overly formal in my opinion with your reach out now I’m not going to get bent out of shape if you do I’m just trying to lay out the scene for for people okay but give me an example like what what’s an ex what’s a acceptable so either if it’s emailing internally with with people I don’t have a greeting I skipped the greeting all together I’ll go straight to the body you go straight to the message there’s a point there’s no need for fluff there’s a reason that you’re having this communication you know the person very well and you’re trying to both achieve something no need for a greeting in that particular case no need for a sign off in that case you know who I am you know why I’m rude to you it’s a simple straightforward thing I can predict you have a thing with best um we’ll get to sign off we’ll get to sign up but I just feel so like give me some give me some greetings hi person’s name okay great except sometimes sometimes I had an exclamation point he was excited to talk about okay uh talk to but like a high yeah dear I would not know no that that’s too formal that’s weird yeah it’s like dear and sincerely are in the same case weird yeah exactly but I think that there’s like a generational thing here oh because sure yeah cause my dad starts his text messages with me here nagging and he signs love comma Daddy [Laughter] you know I can’t I can’t fault that’s funny I also sign things love comma daddy um yes absolutely a generational thing but I you know let’s let’s fall into the general like what’s up stuff that you haven’t liked like what have people sent you that has been offensive I was gonna say that high works I go with hey a lot hey hey there or hey so-and-so yeah or hi I also I TR I’m trying to go with a y’all situation versus a hey guys situation because I know it’s like gendered so I’m trying to like switch my mindset into into a y’all and I was trying to think of like greetings that overly pissed me off the only thing that I could think of was spelling someone’s name incorrectly or misunderstanding what their name is that really pisses me off if you can’t take a second oh my God to breathe before you’re sending out an email like if you call me Steve I’m gonna think you’re a [ ] [ ] like I hate that and then you’re gonna be really [ ] surprised when we correspond via anything else I don’t think that your people must often think that you’re a dude yeah yeah um which we have pronouns in our signature but like if you’re calling me Steve you’re not reading the pronouns it’s my signature I’ll tell you that much literally literally somebody wrote Happy Birthday Nadine on Facebook where my profile says my name and spells it it’s written and they spelled it incorrectly so those things confuse me I mean do you not have any respect for yourself any value of things stop talking about this you’re right I am [ ] pissed yeah there’s like a yeah a judge and get pissed thing like am I sitting there going [ ] Dave you know but am I like you idiot like yes absolutely all right okay let’s get into the meat of what okay so when I first was a little baby in the professional World getting introduced one thing that pissed me off was abbreviations um e-o-d-e-o-w FYI uh o o t like all of those I was like these morons like why are you using this stuff and my my one of my first bosses would like forward emails and it would just say like FYI and I’m like FYI take the effort to show me what like tell me what you want me to get out of this I just really hated him so I think I was like applying that to everything now I don’t mind them at all I use them all the time the thing I do mind is if you use uh acronym abbreviation acronym whatever that’s like specific like to your company or to your like you know like little branch of the industry and then I’m sitting there like um decoding yeah Googling I don’t know if you’ve tried to Google a thing like that but like 25 50 things will pop up and then you’re like going through going all right does this match what they said no does this match what they said no and then you’re like I don’t and then all of a sudden you’re an urban dictionary yeah yeah you’re like oh this email we pick a turn now another thing that I don’t like is the BCC there are a couple reasons I don’t like a BCC I feel as if it perpetuates this land of secrecy that shouldn’t exist in this professional context because it can go in a couple ways one way is if I’m bcc’d on let’s say a sensitive email let’s say a salary negotiation he was yeah it’s some email that I’ve been bcc’d on and the and the thought is who’s ever bcc’d me doesn’t think it’s appropriate to CC me where people can see that I see it and the situation that creates is I’m going through answering hundreds of emails a day you want me to recognize that I’m BCC and not cc’d and then if I reply all to that email how [ ] embarrassing is that for the person that’s involved for the person that bccp for me it puts everyone in a terrible situation like why not forward yes yeah exactly so that’s the thing forward just wanted FYI I also I which I’m guilty of still but it’s very very dangerous is when you’re on a thread and you want to [ ] talk some of the people on the thread and they’re always external people okay um [ ] talk I mean like you know you want to have a side combo about the situation so you take those people check off the thread and then you replied it’s so dangerous you’re playing with fire it is so dangerous one time and then luckily and I’ll I’d never want this to happen again but one time I was working at a company and I was talking to these showrunners of the show that we were producing and they were being real [ ] and I was gonna I took them off the thread to email my boss to say that they’re being real [ ] didn’t take them off the thread and I died and the good the end result to that was that they felt like me telling them that they were being [ ] woke them up to the fact that they were being [ ] so they changed what they were doing so they weren’t being [ ] that is so which is like that’s a one in a million situation the best possible situation where they do but in their dudes yeah but I like died and so like I my God I cannot yeah and I have that’s also why I have a delay on my emails so that like I can catch them before they go out if I’m like oh I forgot to see you know take this person off yeah or whatever my favorite email feature is the unsent yeah where within like a few seconds of whatever you could which I use constantly it’s like once once or twice a week I am hitting unset oh yeah um and I realize like as I’m saying this I know this is so nerdy and ridiculous but like also is it not relatable is this not something that everyone has to go through on a regular basis all of the time and you know hate to break it to you but like every email that you receive was not beautifully designed just for you oh yeah there’s so many people yeah that’s that’s actually the best use of the BCC back to the BCC is if you’re emailing a large group of people and you don’t want anyone to have their contacts I’ve seen a misuse in which somebody should have used the BCC and they use the CC and it was some Creator related thing so like a list of like sales 75 Creator personal emails got out and then like I mean I don’t we can’t move on to the reply all yet but like let me tell you who doesn’t know how to email and email creators because then like then it was just like an avalanche of you know 50 [ ] like where was I supposed to get this email hey how you doing on this whole thing it was it was interesting somebody was like DM me for for partnership ideas yeah now that I have so-and-so’s contact the other reason I hate the BCC is if I don’t know that you’ve been bcc’d in a email thread I will talk to you about a topic as if you don’t know about it because I don’t know that you’ve been pcc’d and so then when I get the oh yeah I know about that and it registers to me oh they were bcc’d without my knowledge it is in Fury yeah because I’m like yeah can I just like it would be great if I knew that is it infuriating because you feel like somebody went behind your back yeah I think that the I think it feels almost like a betrayal that like hey this could have been a conversation that we are all knowingly a part of but you decided that I don’t need the knowledge that they know about this thing and so now like we’ve had this like stunted part of the conversation that could have been avoided with a Ford with a forward in a in a cc situation so that’s my biggest thing is please don’t misuse the BCC just use the form I don’t think anybody will after this conversation [Music] let’s get into the I I really want to know though like in the meat yeah okay okay is there some [ ] that like yeah um makes you wanna we’re getting there we’re going we’re going through hoops I I my Hoops I um to the reply I do want to talk about the reply versus the reply all because when I Googled what the biggest pet peeves were and they all did not align with mine one of the pet peeves was um that people don’t like it when people reply all which the Creator case I gave you is a great example of that but I want to talk about the reverse case which is when people only reply to the sender of the email and yet you’ve cc’d a number of people that also need the reply yeah that happens more often than not and then you have to go and add the people again and then oftentimes it happens again and it’s like do you not know how how to use the reply all button like is that and that’s again I go back to my judgy place and I go this person doesn’t know how to use email okay you know I have a suggestion for that okay I think if you’re the one initiating the email perhaps you anticipate that and say please reply all yeah I mean as long as it’s not showing my hand that like I think you’re an idiot please reply all I don’t think you have to worry about people wondering I think people know that you think they’re idiots at this at this minute in the podcast [Music] I think we’ve established that so I need to I I got really worked up I mean I guess that’s the point of my part of this really worked up um okay we’re into the body yeah okay tone you know I said I don’t like a smiley face the reason people use a smiley face is that because they’re trying to they’re trying to lighten the mood you know they’re trying to say like hey I’m asking you for something but I’m a nice person and I you know like I’m trying to convey that like it’s not that serious but it is or they’re not trying to be abrupt exactly they’re trying to infuse some friendliness into the situation okay what I feel is acceptable is something that you noted earlier which is the use of the exclamation point and this is controversial this is controversial because I understand you could you could dislike the use of that exclamation point but I think it serves the same purpose that a smiley face serves without going smiley face so I do feel like the exclamation point has a place in email communication and I and I think you agree based on your I think it’s a fair assessment of what generally works but like also why can’t an exclamation and a smiley work why can’t like using them why do we have to like say like smiling and all of that stuff is a bad form of communication why can’t we also just get behind the fact that that’s how somebody communicates and that doesn’t rewind under are you admitting to smiley face usage in professional emails oh you are I’ve totally you I’ve used them before I’ve used the crying oh for sure I have and I see how my point could be way more like get to the point but let’s just say I’m a multi-layered individual just trying to communicate more than one thing at the same time I I think that’s fair about you know it goes into the whole like you shouldn’t say I think before something you should just say what you think uh what you think or you shouldn’t apologize for anything I think that there’s some truth but there’s also a lot of gray area there like let’s not like over correct the situation you know like I will I know that it is my job as a boss to be demanding of people constantly it’s not a position that I um like personally enjoy being in but is a necessity of what I do and so that’s why I think that like and and me in Boss mode and me in friend mode are two different people to a great extent but like whenever I can like Infuse those things I try to um and so I feel like all the things that we’re talking about are ways to try and not be as cold in conversation and also like yeah my opinion on saying which I’ll do often I’ll say apologies but whatever it is designed to kind of soften the blow of me about you know telling you that you’re an idiot or that you like hate it I hate it when people write that [ ] apologies don’t mean to be rude but oh I would never say don’t mean but rude no offense you’re like I just but you really [ ] this up no I I think it’s like my use case is more like what’s really grading is like per our conversation like when you drop our conversation that’s like throwing down the gauntlet that’s like I am [ ] pissed at you and you are gonna know that I am and per our last conversation this and that’s just like you have forgotten what we agreed on um but like you can do an apology when you like you’re like I don’t know maybe there’s a 10 chance that I’m wrong in this case okay when you read people’s emails do you read it and you know them do you read it kind of like in their voice do you imagine them saying it to you no because I am my goal is to answer quickly and to the best of my abilities what does that have to do with that I just don’t I like I’m like in a meeting as I’m reading the email and I don’t I don’t have a voice Association I’m not like oh I can’t wait for this next one hello it’s me Martin for me that’s what I even when I’m going fast I’m imagining the person do it huh I’m seeing their I’m seeing their face it can also just make it a little bit more traumatic if I’m getting an intense email because I’m like he’s she’s mad at me or Stevie’s like apology but yeah okay okay what else what okay I I realize I’m spending a lot of time here I’ll I’ll kind of speed through the other ones this one uh this makes sense we’re on sign offs now I don’t have a problem with best I use a thanks uh or like looking forward to it or something like that like but I don’t have there’s not many things that bother me I cannot stand the x or XX in a professional email I use it personally in a professional email yes there’s a small handful of people interesting that will XX me and I’m just like no let’s not we’re not that we’re not homies and not in that way don’t access yeah um but I mean nothing else really bothers me even sincerely it’s not gonna creep me out trigger you exactly are there sign-offs that you were anticipating that I had a problem with based on based on like your your kind of like Revolt at a greeting I thought for instance you would be like don’t say anything just walk out the [ ] door like no period sign-offs are passe they are out um sometimes you’ll get like a God bless and you’re like oh yeah that’s interesting that’s telling a God bless oh let’s not have you gotten that from like a young person no no I feel like that’s an old person thing it’s an old person thing um yeah it was like dear Steve God bless Martin um and then you know I know I’ve been talking for a long time at a very um rapid Pace but my last thing is like I don’t send emails after 7 00 p.m I will schedule emails to usually it like to arrive at 8am the next day even though technically the work day starts at nine okay but I think nighttime emails are icky the the broad issue is that people if people feel compelled to answer or yeah right like if you have a culture of not even looking at your email then that’s one thing but if you’re always on it then if you feel a sense of like I must answer this or guilt like I hate that yeah and I I myself like I used to have um my email notifications turned on my phone and so like as soon as an email would come in oh my God I’d answer and then I was like this is not okay like I cannot live my life like this so I stopped that but um yeah I I just uh you know what don’t bother people uh at night time um believe it or not I’m done okay how will the three of us okay this is a great ques for you me and Logan we’re living three hours apart from each other we’re on different coasts yeah we gotta come up with something that’s not gonna irk oh like I don’t you know you don’t count you don’t count in this in this uh situation but maybe you count okay sorry no I’m kidding laughs but I do love that you thought I thought that your first instinct was no you’re not bothering me nagine I’m obviously not bothering you apologies but yeah writ large keep the night time writ large is that the improper use of that word I don’t know or that expression it sounds like a shout out like writ large like I don’t know what that mean I don’t really know what that you what what you’re trying to say it sounds so I just Googled it to make to make to see what what the [ ] I was saying yeah clear and obvious writ large for example yeah oh I love that I’m gonna be writ largeen all over the place writ large the expression with your hands you get large large [ ] wow I think I think that that brings us to book to our awkward social moment of the week oh writ large girl I had a I had I had one go for it it was not and it’s it’s not resolved I don’t an unresolved writ large experience I’m at the airport okay three hours early right I didn’t want to stay at the hotel I got there I went and I went into one of the air uh whatever the airplane lounges and there’s like a cute little bathroom clean clean everything food I’m chilling I go to the bathroom I wash my hands it’s one of these single stall situations so there’s you know not multiple stalls you just go in the bathroom there’s the sink of the thing I leave there’s a woman waiting outside the door so she goes in right after me I hear the toilet flush and immediately I think to myself oh [ ] did I forget the literal toilet literal [ ] or pee pee I’m just gonna I’m just gonna literal [ ] you pooped and you didn’t flush oh my God I I actually writ large I writ large in that toilet I I I can tell you that I don’t know with certainty if I did number two but as soon as I heard the FL no like by the time I heard the flush I was asking myself did I I like immediately didn’t know oh my God I’m like good for me today you know you’re like one a week let’s do it yeah wow I was so immediately consumed with like a shame that I assumed like oh well she’s seen a poop I don’t even know if I did okay so I immediately she’s in the bathroom I immediately go to my to my like bag because she was sitting right next to me okay I recognize this woman I moved my stuff to the other side of the lounge I’m like okay I cannot see her I cannot make eye contact I choose the [ ] seat next to the cappuccino machine because then she leaves the bathroom and goes directly to the cappuccino machine to make herself a little drink and we make eye contact again so this woman who flushed my [ ] is now standing next to me making her coffee for like 45 seconds I look up we make eye contact and I don’t know no no no no no no say something don’t okay I don’t say something but I look at her and I like kind of I kind of do one of these side Smiles not that I’m trying to convey like sorry I’m trying to say sorry with my smile because I don’t know what to do and then she leaves and I’m like oh God I should just leave this [ ] place just I’m Gonna Leave This Place I go to the gate she walks up to the game 20 minutes later and I see her again and this time I’m just I I put my hand down no you didn’t not I I again this was so freaking awkward it was like a what do you call it was a reflex you have taken things to a whole new level here I I was just like hey like we saw each other you know hey you saw my poop that you flushed felt like we were close oh my God I mean that’s one of the more mortifying things did she wave back she did a half smile back also like kind of like a I’m sorry smile oh what the [ ] what the [ ] should I have done besides obviously not wave to her but like I think I think you need to you need to find some way to come to peace with this situation because it will be haunting you you will be thinking about that woman so because we can say yeah make sure to flush but like if that happens again what the hell do you do okay this is the tactic You’re Gonna Wanna pick a bathroom that you’re not going to be sitting around in any way you pick a bathroom that’s far away from your destination you go in that bathroom then you then you find your other destination and then the chances are so always like assume the worst always always okay I need you to be thinking about if you’re gonna poop or pee and if you have pooped or peed that’s another thing I’m gonna need you to adopt your everyday mindset like am I pooping no I think that’s important and then another lesson learned yeah but but no I I think what I thought you were gonna say is that you pooped and then you flushed but it smelled and then she was waiting and then she walked into the bathroom that’s also yeah that’s a classic That’s a classic um in which case my advice is Everybody Poops you know what are you gonna do like funny my advice is like oh my God somebody was in here before it’s a disaster in there and everyone knows that’s a lie or if it’s not yeah so um you know Everybody Poops everybody has those days you know is that what I say to the the person that hey girl you know how it is I think this is this is where I think after the lack of flush you made the mistake the half smile and then really you capped it off with a wave the wave I think really took things to a whole new level and my advice would be please do not wave that was a physical reflex it was as a way I mean it was biologically my I like just [ __ ] up yeah like I don’t even know yeah oh god well all right it’s been a week my blood pressure it’s really high due to the due to the email uh section of today’s ill sex episode but thanks for listening to best friends back thank you guys and if you didn’t know we are going to be doing our very first live episode of best friends back all right at mythicon October 2018 30th in Austin Texas we will both be there in person in the flesh oh yeah on stage for your viewing mocking listening pleasure uh I’m gonna be flushing toilets left and right oh yeah that is a prop request that we’ve made um so if you don’t have your ticket please check out mythcontickets.com to grab those now and we can see you there you can catch brand new episodes every Friday make sure to follow so you don’t miss an episode if you’re enjoying the podcast leave us a review you can follow at mythicalpaws on Tick Tock for Clips to share with family and friends and you can follow me at negin and Stevie everywhere at Stevie W Levine and of course you can hear me every Monday through Friday I’m good learning with Rhett and Link at youtube.com good mythical morning I’ll see you there sincerely Stevie and Nadine [Music] hey I’m Josh and I’m Nicole and we host the podcast a hot dog is a sandwich where we just had a great conversation with the incredible Phil Rosenthal and we think you’ll enjoy it too you probably know Phil from a ton of stuff like Everybody Loves Raymond his new podcast Naked Lunch that we were just on by the way was so much fun and of course somebody feed Phil yeah he gave us hot dogs we chatted him about his favorite food cities crazy writers room lunches now traveling strengthens your relationship so listen to it right now on a hot dog is a sandwich Hello friends I just wanted to remind you that Trevor talks too much a very special podcast featuring our own Trevor from mythical kitchen is back with season two so go to wherever you’re listening to me talk right now and you get your podcasts and listen to Trevor talks too much highly recommend highly recommend highly recommend highly recommend highly recommend