ramble [Music] welcome to best friends back all right the show where two high school best friends tried the best friend thing again i’m stevie when levine and i’m nakin homayfar and today we’re talking about stuff that the other person doesn’t know about and you don’t know about either it’s one of those you know um the eel sex episodes is that kind of wrong is there another word that we can use like another phrase what is an alternative to that there is only one singular phrase to use every time you say eel sex i think about the guy in the basement and the cistern yeah i do have a really like vivid vivid image in my mind i stumbled upon him again the other day he was he was feeding the eels and let me tell you like don’t if you could block eels on your social media accounts i think that would be for the best i think i need to look into doing that because once you see eels getting fed by hand in someone’s basement disgusting [Laughter] this guy’s face or his hands feeding these little snakes uh how was your yeah how was your weekend how was your week it was good i i i was telling logan earlier i was single parenting our pup and babysitting another friend’s pup you were double single parenting is that what you would call that i just realized that i used a lot of human human words to describe doc i was dog sitting no i feel like that undersells it what what was the other dog situation like a puppy uh no he’s like same age as kismish two years old and they’re actually bffs oh that is too cute so it’s like constant constant play both uh were highly reactive to anything happening outside so that was just twice as much barking okay it sounded like you were doing like some kind of experiments like you were like they were highly reactive when i tried to a feed them with my hand in the cistern of my home um i know i’m about to single parent my own dog uh because cassie’s going out of town for a week and i there are nerves there because our old dog enzo and his old age i was clearly the favorite mom of the were you the one that was like putting the ky on uh well no i i i did not put the ky on which yeah so it’s alarming that i would be the favorite but i think my energy i bring like a calmer old age energy so we would chill together all the time you know cassie used to work a lot of music festivals and so we would be alone for like a week and everything would be fine he’d come with me to the studio all good ringo is like a pandemic baby and so i’ve never been alone with him for an extended period of time and i am really nervous about it because i know i’m not the favorite it’s gonna be so awkward what are you gonna talk about well i know he’s gonna spend half the time being depressed that cassie’s not there and i feel that i feel that i’m number two actually he likes one of our neighbors better than me i’m like number three and so i’m like dreading this week of being number three in my own child’s eyes are you going to bring ringo with you to work um i’ve plotted out the week so that i he can be at home for like a few hours when i have to come into the studio except for there is a day where i might have to bring him in and i i don’t know how that’s going to go because his energy is all over the place he did not though go up with cassie and i to big sur this past week which is where i was this past week um oh it was just the parent yes how romantic yeah it’s our it’s our annual tradition for our anniversary we like to go up to big sur it’s beautiful it’s kind of secluded and um we had an amazing time the first kind of well only full day we were there we went on one of our favorite hikes which is this almost nine mile kind of loop around the bluff where like one side is you’re kind of in the forest and the other side you’re like on the ocean basically like you can hike down to the beach and it’s just beautiful but it’s kind of a rigorous hike i mean nine miles no choke you know and one of my favorite things to do on this beautiful hike is judge everyone we come across because there’s not that many people and 95 percent of them are couples oh my gosh and let me tell you you can tell a lot about a couple if they’re on a nine mile hike together yeah yeah yeah yeah do you think it’s like it’s like these are all tried and true couples um i okay so that’s part of the conversation that happens after you pass someone because you know you don’t pass a lot of people so you pass someone maybe it’ll be like 30 minutes before you pass someone else so you’re like spending at least 10 of those 30 talking about the people that you just passed exactly while they also talk about you guys exactly yes they’re like did you see those lesbians um so so you know you pass like the younger couples one thing i’ve noticed about all straight women that i’ve passed on a trail you have this and i’m sorry i’m going to say you but you have because i’m assuming you’re a part of this you have this like athletic look to you like it’s tights it’s like a tank um yeah it gives it gives maybe a lululemon situation i don’t i will never be one of those women and i don’t i think it looks like elegant and you’re all like you know what are you wearing i’m wearing like soccer shoes from fifth grade like i that is no you’re not i am the vibes i give on like a hike or like any kind of athletic excursion is like yeah middle school child like i don’t know how to get out and cassie gives like patagonia rei you know like she’s given like a big sur vibe um neither one of us in like the tights situation okay so you have a problem with the i don’t have a problem skin i cannot rock it so i’m a little bit i’m a little jealous but also i feel like i would just it wouldn’t match my vibe to be in the tights you have types i think i think i would i think i would be surprised if i saw you in time and tights yeah i would oh god if i saw a midriff that would be like who is this woman oh sometimes you know i’m like trying to rock a little crop top here and there that’s crazy why you still have it exactly exactly but tell me you have tights right that’s what you wear i have tights i just invested in some shorts because my shorts i had two shorts that i was short oh no oh no no no no okay i cannot stand a butt cheek coming out in public yeah and that’s all the rage right now the denim shorts that are like underwear oh yeah no no no i need to have some room for my thighs to move yeah and i want it to be modest enough so that when i’m walking ahead of you you’re not looking up yeah any of my parts but the other thing okay aside from the lululemon girls who i’m partially jealous of and confused by there’s also like the couples that have been together for a very long time the older couples you know like let’s say like 50 plus not that 50 is old but like i’m just giving you a reign yeah the woman is always in front of the man period period period it is so freaking funny and and i saw like extreme examples of it where like one example that was a lit that is more um average i would say is the woman is like within sight of the man but clearly the man is like struggling to keep up with the woman and the woman is doing this like i told you or like you know i’m proving to you that i can do this and like would you just keep up like there’s some kind of like there’s a little bit of aggravation like that and this is like a typical scenario you’re you do this you’re always in front of zach on a hike yeah but not because i’m upset with him or that he’s just because you’re better than him no no he’s just uh he’s a slower walker than i am he’s a foot a full foot taller than i am and i somehow still walk faster than he does yeah and and to his credit he falls back because he’s always like like i want you negging to set the pace whoever’s in front sets the face and so it’s like uh i think it’s a gentlemanly thing but he’s also a slow ass well i’m assuming that as you grow older that distance between you physically on a world will grow and that’s so all the resentment i also saw this couple where and this it must have been like a kink it must have been something that they were into because they were both like they both looked rei they both had like a singular walking stick some kind of like hiking backpack on and so she was she was normal ahead of him and then um all of a sudden she starts running and he is caught up with these other people that we’ve just passed as they ask him what to do in big sur which i’m like that is completely inappropriate on this like nine mile loop you’re like on the ocean you don’t know this person you’re asking like what to do in big sur but anyway so he’s stuck behind talking to these people she not only continues walking ahead but at a certain point just breaks out into a run ahead of him and cassie and i of course are talking about about everyone that is around us and we’re like oh my god that [ ] is running ahead while her husband’s waiting wait a second did you not think for one moment that maybe she’s in danger maybe she’s trying to get away from him okay well this is the story we constructed because he’s like now way behind us she’s way ahead of us she’s continuing to run how you run for any period of time is beyond me and so we don’t know if he’s gonna ever catch up no no no he comes running at a certain point he comes running from behind us we pull over so that he can continue running and we construct a story that when he gets to her he’s going to pounce and then eat her and that’s the like that’s the kink that they like yeah that’s what they like and so like we get to the end of our trail and we spot the two of them like looking over you know the scenic i mean it’s so beautiful there yeah um uh view and and they’re together now and cassie’s just like so when do you think it’s gonna happen do you think it happens and so we’ve constructed this like eating story that happens but i tell you and then you learn so much about a couple on a nine mile hike yeah okay i think that we have talked a lot as a society about you know things plaguing us and and you know recently um you know we have the covid19 of it all we have the monkey pox of it all but i don’t think we’re talking enough about something that is plaguing the lesbian community right now and that is darcy cardin in a league of their own plaguing you mean blessing i don’t know if it is a blessing at this point because i am i am so obsessed with her character on that show it is it is quite possibly dominating every moment of my life of your life okay don’t try is this going to be a spoiler whole this whole thing is am i i have not yet seen a league of our own of course you haven’t you didn’t even watch the music video that we said you should watch that’s how strange you are how could you not do that no no okay to be honest that whole music video turned me off because those seemed like bad people well they did the opposite of a league of her own i’m binging next weekend when i have some more time to myself okay this is the thing we’ve talked briefly about darcy card in the past because you’ve worked with her and also she’s been on good mythical morning and she’s a fan favorite and she’s just so lovely but she’s never played a character like she plays in a league of their own and i won’t spoil but you can tell me what’s her character so she plays um kind of the love interest of the protagonist that’s played by abby jacobson and let me let me go on about abby’s yeah like she’s the creator of this show the mastermind behind the show and it is a [ ] amazing show like it is so good i’ve watched every episode it’s so well written so well casted so well directed it’s just brilliant and so kudos to abby jacobson but we’re talking about darcy garden right now move over darcy plays this like sexy ass character which i love darcy but she doesn’t usually play that type of role she plays more of a comedic role um and she’s absolutely brilliant in everything that i’ve seen her in but she really embodies this like sexy powerful confident lesbian character in you know 1943 midwest um and she i’m telling you has dominated my thoughts for the past freaking week and so we we were anyway we were watching it up in big sur and like we went out to dinner and in my mind the waitress was like darcy cardin’s character she looked nothing like darcy cardin it was the weirdest thing and i was trying to like express that to cassie to get her on the same page of like i was like yeah listen everyone’s darcy carter and she’s like what do you mean everyone’s darcy carter and i was like i just i can’t explain it but everyone around me is it’s like you’re [ ] weird anyway i’m transitioning here into my topic for this ill sex oh it’s it’s not about darcy cardin it’s not i still i was actually fully prepared for 30 minutes of darcy cardin and your your obsession i could maybe i’ll bring that that i feel like we could do that anyway so i was watching one episode’s one episode of the show and uh darcy and abby’s characters they go out to dinner together which is a big deal for them because it’s kind of like a date even though that’s not really allowed and they go out to dinner at a pizza place and abby’s character has never had pizza before oh yes that i don’t know anything about the 40s to know if that’s like a big deal okay had the italians come yet there you go so i um was watching the scene and that’s the thing and this is huge because it was a date between darcy and abby but the thing that stood out to me was oh my gosh she’s never had pizza before and it’s 1943 and in my mind i was like pizza is like something that everyone’s had always and always has pizza not existed in the u.s before that date so today i’m talking about certain foods that kind of have become like american not just junk foods but staples yeah and kind of the origin of them because pizza i think we kind of take for granted we’re just like of course everyone’s always had pizza around yeah okay but it turns out that’s not the truth that’s not that’s not actually how um how it is and so pizza let me tell you you’re correct with the italian immigrants so at the turn of the century there was a flood of italian immigrants and the very first pizzeria was actually a place in new york city in little italy in 1905 called lombardi’s which is still there today but as i said a league of their own takes place in 1943. so how did pizza get introduced in the u.s in 1905 and yet you have these fairly fairly traveled women in 1943 having pizza for the first time i read multiple articles that said that the reason was because when soldiers were stationed in world war ii in italy they had pizza and they came back and they kind of popularized pizza for america and then other articles saying no that’s total [ ] it was just like the rise of the italian immigrants starting in the the beginning of the 20th century that kind of propelled this thing so there’s two like stories that dispute each other um but in 1945 it still was that like a few americans had had pizza because you also have to imagine like not everyone was living in new york city and they were so spread out there was no ubereats then there’s no ubereats so by the mid 1950s that’s when you started seeing like newspaper headlines about pizza is the food craze that’s sweeping the nation so it really took that freaking long from 1905 in new york city all the way to the mid-50s for the majority of americans to like have pizza for the first time wow did you see any of the headlines that they were like the the pizza headlines i didn’t what do you think they said mamma mia [Laughter] something like that something like really yeah which at that point wouldn’t have been a cheesy thing to say yeah right yeah did you see what i just did accidentally god i thought you were being attacked you sounded like a wounded duck and you’re waving around a spoon what does the spoon come from okay my dog is starting to bark so i’m trying to attract him with some peanut butter oh okay you just have like peanut butter beside you ready to go it’s left over from my breakfast yeah oh how convenient mamma mia um i don’t know were headlines that colorful i i was like imagining a more like pizza the food craze sweeping the nation you know mamma mia i feel like headlines back then were probably super racist and stereotypical you know i’m not gonna pitch some more of those and you mean like this one [Laughter] so this is the maybe i was gonna say this is the last thing i’m gonna say about a league of their own but i know myself and it’s not the last thing you’re gonna say if i don’t think of their but the other thing about pizza is in that episode um abby jacobson’s character is talking to the the black protagonist in a league of their own max and they’re talking about sexuality because max is struggling with you know being a lesbian and has just tried to have sex with a dude and doesn’t like it but abby jacobson’s character is actually um married in oh in the series and her husband is a soldier who’s off at war that’s got to make things much easier for her and so they’re talking about um you know max is like uh and abby’s character’s name is shaw max is talking to sean is like what you know like how do you have sex with your husband like i don’t like she knows that she’s also you know has a relationship with a woman and she’s like uh shaw is like well i i think that having sex is like you know with a with a dude is is nice it’s like you know warm bread and butter and she’s like okay but having sex with a woman is like pizza [Music] okay going from pizza to arguably one of my favorite foods guilty pleasure nachos i i like nachos that have like a nice like melted cheese yes they’re loaded by layers i love i love layers i make a pretty mean nacho myself um i love a good fresh guacamole situation a good pico de gallo um what do you believe is the like if you had to create the origin story of nachos give me give me something give me give me a year perhaps so you know a year i mean i feel like tortillas have been around from potentially millennia yeah so i’m going back to like the mayan days or the aztec days um and i’m thinking that the nacho could have just been what happened to an old tortilla and somebody realized up still edible kind of nice with a dip oh like it’s it stayed out it stayed out it was a stale situation yeah it was a stale challenge i think that’s very healthy um here is the official according to the internet origin story of nachos oddly enough we’re in 1943 again the same year as a league of their own takes place in and basically in world war ii there was a u.s air force base like training base in a town in texas called eagle pass an eagle pass was right over the border from mexico and some of the servicemen’s wives i guess that lived in eagle pass would cross over the border to mexico to eat and drink because i’m sure there was much better food down there and so they would go to this town called piadras negras in mexico and a restaurant called el moderno and here’s the i’m just gonna the read the story laura has it that when four women entered el moderno restaurant for a round of drinks and they asked for a snack their waiter ignacio anaya couldn’t find the cooked so nacho a common nickname for those named ignacio went into the kitchen sliced tortillas into quarters piled on cheese and sliced jalapenos and stuck the plate under the broiler the women loved the cheesy crisps and wanted to know what they were called so they could order them again and he said just call them nachos especially that’s amazing yeah i love it how cool is that little orchid that’s super cool yeah well and that’s the other thing i i was like when i was doing a little bit of research for this i was like i have produced a show for 10 years in which we talk about food and the origins of food all the time and so i am a hundred percent sure i was supposed to know all of these things already yeah but i mean i don’t cut but i felt it felt new to you it wasn’t it felt new hey listen present something to me in the context of a forbidden lesbian date and it is like new information to me mamma mia anyway buffalo wings that’s the next thing i’m moving on to i don’t know why but in my mind like all these things that we’re talking about i guess i just didn’t even think there was a starting point to having them because they’re so ubiquitous at this point but right there’s a there’s a hint in the name buffalo wings care to guess where they’re from buffalo you know i’m saying that there’s buffalo new york yeah but then there’s like buffalo mozzarella okay so are the italian second giving us everything i mean that’s probably true um well actually that kind of is true the buffalo and buffalo wings is buffalo new york uh-huh but the woman that created them is italian and she owned this little like italian bar her name was theresa bellissimo um and she owned the anchor bar in buffalo new york with her husband and there’s like a few different uh iterations of the story every single one credits her with creating uh buffalo hot wings but um my favorite of the three because they have very little little difference is that her son came in with friends at the last minute into the bar and they wanted a snack and she had chicken wings starts with a snack yeah but it just wants a little snack um and she had chicken wings in the back she was gonna use the chicken wings for a soup because at the time chicken wings were like kind of scraps and they were really cheap parts of the chicken because no one wanted them for wings so instead of using them to make a soup she threw them in the deep fryer and she had frank’s hot sauce and butter and coated them in both and served them to uh to the friends and they were like hey teresa um but again this was this was it’s crazy to me 1964. so before 1964 people were not eating hot wings you’re so astounded by that fact i’m well because i’m thinking about like you think about the hippies in 1964 everyone’s like free love everyone’s looking cool no one’s eating hot dogs i mean who knew and they didn’t start to get popular until like the mid 70s and it wasn’t until the early 80s when buffalo wild wings first established its like first spot so like it took a while again even in 1964 for buffalo wings to like become a thing was theresa responsible for the also you ubiquitous use of carrot and celery and ranch i did read in one of the stories that that she did serve him with those side items now i wasn’t there and i cannot you know i can’t count as complete truths um but from what i read yes that was the case and then from a chicken dish to a chicken dish finally uh and again i’m using the term american in some ways loosely but like i wanted this is another shocking one to me orange chicken like panda express orange chicken yeah like orange chicken like chinese american orange juice yeah which is you know something that everyone has had at this point do you have any any guess as to who invented this dish and and when this is like an irish guy married an italian woman so it’s irish italian is what you’re thinking the irish italian yeah because i can’t imagine orange chicken has anything to do with actual chinese food it it doesn’t really that’s that’s a very good point but the year was 1987 43 87 which was also the year you were born yes i was born an orange chicken was born and here’s the thing panda express did invent orange they did yes so it was there i know i know i know um and something they sell like every year they sell like 80 million pounds of orange chicken now that sounds like an enormous amount but i don’t know the context for how much chicken is normally that’s true but 1987 it didn’t exist before then and the executive chef chef andy cow cow and we’re gonna go with that um he started playing around with a sweet and sour orange peel heavy bone-in fried chicken meant to please the hawaiian palette so they introduced it in hawaii first and then hawaii was like this is awesome and it spread to california and then spread across the nation but it didn’t exist before i was born it hasn’t been around that long and panda express invented orange chicken it does seem like something that’s been around for forever although although when you think about it i feel like the orangeness of it the stickiness of it like that’s that’s some that’s modern yeah that’s a modern science we love a good orange sticky here in 2022 we’re all about orange sticky right right i hope that orange sticky transitions into whatever you’re going to be talking about this weekend well you know it could it could because panda express is one of those places that you’ll find in in an airport and well i had such success the other week telling you about my airport awkward moment the orange chicken that i left behind for the oh my god i was like but anyway that i thought i would talk about uh how to be a good air line traveler okay really how to avoid being an [ ] all right and your email your email etiquette kind of rant really i would say inspired this really planted a seed for this conversation okay because there’s a good way and there’s a bad way to travel yeah right okay especially these days when we’re also dealing with like oh the flight delays all of the people that are like you know negotiating house safe for example yeah while traveling everywhere okay plagued with the darcy garden everyone is running around these streets thinking about darcy cardin and not focusing on how to be a polite traveler okay and and i will preface all of this by saying i have traveled the full range of airlines okay from like standing room only in spirit uh what i mean that’s what it feels like okay you know actually but it feels like you’re standing i know yeah it’s like you have to pay to sit yeah um to like and i to sleeping to sleeping fully reclined okay and a thing okay i’ve seen it all okay and i want to start with boarding boarding the flight okay so i i think that there is first there is no better depiction of uh capitalism or a classism than an airline queue right it’s like you could hunt for a great price but everybody will know how much you spent on that ticket once you’re boarding because the more expensive your ticket the earlier you get to board right and i i’m often just buying the cheapest thing i can find yeah right i’m i’m usually going that right so i’m boarding at the very end yeah and i think that process is just inhumane it is it’s it’s really it’s just terrible it’s very interesting when the airlines have like five groups that go before general bloomington yes you know and it’s like if you’re wearing khakis today with a brown belt welcome aboard and you’re like i don’t understand i don’t care why that’s a lot yeah for anybody that needs extra help boarding please do so now usually i want to be like yeah i do i i need well that’s a little controversial i don’t do it but i think yeah so anyway okay so it that process sucks for everyone okay nobody likes the boarding of it and also it’s like not efficient it really it’s not efficient but anyway you’re standing in line usually everybody’s like stands up maybe like three quarters of a flight is standing and hovering around the line before they have to go so guilty of this let me tell you one thing girl do not join the queue to get into the boarding lane from the middle of the line you know the people yeah they’re like oh as soon as they call my net i’m just gonna join at the closest people do not do that [ ] yeah and then avoid eye contact with me when you stand in front of me or behind me because chances are you’re going to be sitting right next to me on the plane and i’m not going to forget that you did that oh damn you’re a grudge holder man i’m a grudge holder because i find it so i find it so rude yeah you’re like skipping the line other people were standing ahead of you and you’re just joining from the middle oh my god you’re giving me so much anxiety you do this no i i don’t do it but every time so cassie is um she sometimes man she likes to push my buttons and she knows i’m a very anxious person and like the only reason that i like to be on time or like be in the group that is called is because i’m always afraid like the overhead space is not going 100 you know whatever i agree and so like i like to be ready to get on the plane not cassie cassie as soon as they’re like flying whatever is uh runny for boarding cassie’s like i could use a snap panto express i could use this yup and then she’s off and she does it on purpose and we’ve we’ve gotten in many an argument about this and she will go and she will take her damn time until right before our group is called and then she’ll slip in right next to me into the right lane and she makes it every time but i’m like sweat like always literally sweating in this line holding like all of our baggage trying to ensure that we’re in the group that we’re supposed to get in you know be in to get on the plane cassie does not give a [ ] she would be fine being the last person on the plane i cannot stand it i cannot stand it cassie is moving around the world like a cis white man okay like she just thinks the red carpet’s gonna be rolled out for her zach is a similar similar type to cassie really where he’s also not an anxious person he’s generally hopeful and optimistic and he’s like we’ll get there they’re not going to leave the flight without us also why do you want to be inside while everybody’s like stressed oh yeah oh yeah she says that [ ] [ ] as well yeah and yeah you might be right you might be right it might be better to stay outside but i agree with you i want that overhead space and i want to guarantee that i’m not waiting at the luggage check after after my flight okay yeah so this this brings me to step two don’t put your little bag your little book bag in the overhead bin okay put it under your feet like a civilized person do not take up space and do not close the bin do not close the bin that’s not your job i saw i saw a dude do that and i saw how much space was left i opened it right after it that’s right you did and then you made eye contact with them and i will not forget people can fit other stuff in there yeah and i’ve been in this situation where because i was boarding last they were like man we don’t have room for your overhead luggage you’re gonna have to check the bag and then i walk onto the plane i open these things up because i’m still curious and i’m gonna torture myself and i see there was actually room but because this person has a person it doesn’t sound like you’re about to say a person yeah yeah sometimes sometimes i can sometimes i can self uh this dude self person yeah it’s like dude what do you what do you have in there that’s so precious that’s so that’s so much better than everyone else and everything else’s thing that are around i just think there’s like a bit of um it reveals somebody’s care for the community i don’t know why i have the worst luck when it comes to rolling baggage and it’s not that it’s cheap baggage but for some reason this happened to me twice where my handle and the rolling bag will get caught up and it won’t go it won’t go down and it is so freaking embarrassing because when you get on the plane yes i i had to put it like in the uh going the other way and of course like people are you like you were like [ ] you for doing that oh you think your bag’s better than everyone else it’s like oh no i’m sorry it’s from marshalls or something it won’t go down i’ve got to put it in this way i have no other choice it’s so awkward yeah you need to stand on the back of the plane if you’ve got or it’ll get caught like uh where it only comes up like a tiny bit from the bag and you’re like in the airport like you’re like leaning all the way down like me yeah yeah yeah that happens you might as well not roll it time two with two different suitcases i no longer have either one of those but it’s very embarrassing i think if you’re traveling a lot it’s worth investing a little bit and a bag that’s reliable or grease the wheels grease the grease the little things grease the wheels what do you think i’m like home with wd-40 like what am i gonna grease today you know yeah i’ve never even greased my own wheels but i’ve never greased your damn thing except for enzo’s penis [Music] all right you know how you can get legroom a few different ways on a flight right you can pay to and and all of them you have to pay okay but there’s like front of the front of the cabin bulkhead with extra extra legroom wider seats all of that the last thing that you can do to get a good seat is to get the emergency exit yeah right these days so you have to pay for it which i find appalling and i’ll get into that in a second but the emergency exit there’s some like rules for what’s expected of you if you’re in the emergency exit you have to assist yeah in case of an emergency okay tell me then why i’m standing in the line to get in because i’m standing in the line to get into the plane and there’s a grandma or whatever an old woman in front of me she’s on the phone she’s like they gave me the exit bro but they better not expect me to do anything if anything happens not with these hands i don’t know why i’m having her talk like a like a league baseball live but she’s like telling somebody that she’s basically not willing to help in case of emergency which i find grandma you are carrying me out of that plane grandma i’m hopping right into your hands you are going to guide me everyone’s going to guide me like there are actual rules for what is required of you yeah and you have to verbally say yes that you’re accepting all the rules so was she like yes well this was in the line so you were sitting in the exit row no no no we were in the line down i’m going down she knows what’s expected of her because she’s telling the person the phone like hope they don’t expect me to do anything you know it’s like but you’re technically you’re supposed to be 15 okay to sit up there but you have to have full uh you have to have sufficient mobility okay in your hands and your arms and your legs so that you can kind of deal with the emergency situation and you need to be able to lift a 45 pound door all right that’s gonna be hard for a lot of people yeah why are you looking at me when you say that i’m gonna be hard for a lot of people but i was so annoyed that she’s taking up the space and she got this she in this situation got the seat for free you normally have to pay for them which i find to be like a major scam dude all the little like when you go to to pick your seat now it’s like any anything that could possibly be better it’s like yeah this window seat even though it’s in row 22 it’s kind of nice it has a little push to the touch so you have to pay 25 more it’s like what the heck they’re like if you’re the only times that you don’t pay are if you’re sitting on the toilet and if you’re in the last row and other than that all the other seats are worth more money yeah yeah i shouldn’t shouldn’t in a if you’re in an emergency shouldn’t the airline be paying you yeah that’s what i’m saying service that’s a service yeah yeah right because i have to have to live with the anxiety of like okay i’m sitting here what if something happens plus the seeds don’t recline yeah they do in emergency the seats and in front of the emergency don’t recline oh i thought that the emergency seats also didn’t recline because you can’t be wrong that might be someone in the emergency you know you’ve always you’ve got to be alert you’ve got to be alert and ready to lift 45 pounds right but so there are some unofficial rules to being in the emergency seat one of them being yeah basically like you’re not supposed to sleep because you need to be like these are unofficial rules right but you’re supposed to be like ready okay if anything goes down are these your unofficial rules no these are just like the the internet’s okay society’s unofficial rules for being in the emergency row now i think unofficial rules are worth adhering to if the airline is paying you to be in that seat in these cases though everyone’s paying for it so people feel really high and tight about doing whatever they want you’re also not supposed to get drunk or drink that is a very good point i feel like it’d make everything easier though let’s be honest if something’s gonna happen you might as well be drunk i saw a video of of of one of the inflatable things like slides objecting slides it looks really fun like god forbid god forbid anyone has to actually go down one but it looks funny like like a wet and wild emerald like the grandma’s like right after you sweetie i’m i’m assisting you with my bad hands go down the slide it’s fun it’s fun all right okay so don’t take your shoes off on a plane yeah not if you’re not if you’re not wearing socks don’t take them off don’t put your brayer toe on the floor yeah i i also have an issue and this is kind of broadly speaking with flip-flops um just like in general i have an issue with especially a man in flip-flops i don’t know there’s something about a man in flip-flops yeah i just like i’m like by that choice like a like a thong flip-flop oh yeah yeah birkenstock sandals specifically a thong flip-flop um okay i i don’t know what it is i have a lot of judgment there and on a plane i also find myself going like how much how much of your skin is out yeah yeah yeah yeah i’m with you on the skin yeah keep it covered i don’t especially if you are just like a and which i know is a very lesbian thing to say but if you’re just like a hairy hairy dude and your hair and your freaking toes and like all your your your man parts are out yeah what i want is i don’t want your body parts like your sweat your body moisture or your body hair to to shed ah on something i could saw on right that’s what it is like brush against you [Laughter] god i’m even like i recently flew and i had i was wearing a tank top and i was like is this inappropriate like i feel bad wearing this tank top but then i’m like i’m not like a gross hairy man so maybe it’s okay but i thought about it you thought about it yeah because i i agree that like keep your keep your parts in in things in your place on a flight and yeah and you said if you’re wearing socks it’s okay to take off your shoes i understand you need to take i things get swollen yeah you go ups up there i don’t have a problem with people just having their socks but mostly because i’ve done it before right i have plain socks i’ll i’ll change into them so that i don’t like so that i don’t put my wrists on these are my plain socks everyone they’re clean they don’t smell they don’t smell i guess if you’re keeping them in the area in which your feet should be then it’s okay the whole like putting your foot up on the chair putting your feet above you know chair height it’s not okay but maybe maybe if they’re in your own area unless you are a big man okay well i gotta say i i am i am guilty of putting my feet up nonsense but i always have my clean plain socks on and the reason is when i sit when i sit on the airplane listen i will tell you i can because i have a biological deformity which is i am 5’2 okay and when i sit on a plane my feet don’t touch the floor and so it hurts my lower back to have them basically dangling like a child so i have to put them somewhere otherwise i’ve got i’ve got lower back pain to deal with oh my god so i’ll cross my legs in my space or i’ll like lean him up on the on like the bottom of the chair i will not push up against somebody else’s chair yeah like i won’t i won’t i’ll do everything i can to avoid impacting somebody else but i think i just need to bring like a step stool yeah i was gonna say can we invest in like a a step stool that pops out but like you can pack it flat so you pack it somewhere in your bag and then you take it out and like both of the legs just like pop out and then you put the little foot stool down there that sounds so great but i’d be really embarrassed to to pop that out oh but you’re not embarrassed if you’re playing socks and and your placement of your feet you’re like this is not at all this is my plain stool this is my plain stool everyone at least you’re not leaving your plane stool in the toilet i don’t need i bring my uh squatty body into the back yes i do my best work in an airplane it’s just a squatty potty but you say this is my plane stool this is my place this is the other thing as much as i move my legs around the play i try to occupy my own space yeah but there are the people that invade your space yeah and i don’t know if it’s because i’m on the you know smaller end i’m 5’2 i’m not taking up a ton of space people put often their legs in my leg space they’ll cross the line and i’ve had to ask somebody like excuse me do you mind moving your feet i that’s a very nice way to deal with that situation well there’s the passive aggressive way is i’ll sit and then i’ll plant my feet on either end if somebody looks like they’re gonna yeah invade might not keep it you gotta do what you gotta do because that the middle seat person i feel like they’re coming into the situation with more aggression involved in general because like they obviously booked you know fairly last minute they didn’t have a choice they they’re gonna have to sit in between two people and so they’re coming in going like these two arm wrestlers are mine do you think that’s true do you think that the middle person should get both arm rests yeah i don’t mind it i won’t fight it because yep yeah i i get it like you’re in a bad you’re in a bad situation don’t cross the line into my space i actually don’t want to i i’m not a big proponent of fighting for my space because i just really don’t want to touch anyone you don’t want to touch it i’m actually i’m okay with um i’m okay with sharing the arm rests oh god no you don’t have to touch somebody to share how thick are these armrests it might be because of my proportions but i have shared with somebody where i was i was in the back of the arm rest and they were at the front damn and that worked out well we have different wingspans so that was that was a nice like collaborative moment for me aislemates like at the end it was like nice are you a window uh person or an aisle person i much prefer the aisle i want to always know that i can get out and go to the bathroom if i need even though i don’t even use the bathroom much on the plane i’m the same way oh no i i do find that i use the bathroom because i get very anxious about i often have have to use the bathroom right after the um pilot is like oh we will now begin our descent and then there’s like 20 minutes and then there’s like 10 minutes and you’re right right and before you didn’t have to pee but as soon as i make that announcement it’s like oh my god i think i might [ ] myself vomit i don’t know i don’t i don’t have to do any of these things so yeah i will use the bathroom on the plane and i prefer the aisle seat aisle yeah all right you know flights these days everybody has everybody has their own form of entertainment right they they bring their phone on they’ve downloaded their films and i would like to remind people that the plane is not an adult’s only space okay it’s kind of like a public space you should be aware that people can see your screen oh are we talking about hardcore sex i don’t know what you’re not i’m not talking about pornos but i’m talking about like you can watch rated r films yeah uh on you feel as if that’s inappropriate i think that it’s not really respectful oh to watch something that’s super explicit that everyone can see like i think it’s good to do a little scan to say like am i around little kids like who’s already all right because it’s part of it’s also like i’m thinking who’s going to judge me for what i’m about to watch sure it could be like high school musical three which yeah and i wouldn’t be the [ ] out of you but i think you got to be careful of what you’re watching and what is this like last year zach and i were flying somewhere and we had become obsessed with the show um too hot to handle which is a reality show about like a bunch of people that go to an island thinking they’re all about to hook up with each other when in reality it’s they don’t win unless they avoid hooking up okay okay so it’s a bunch of horned up people that are going crazy because they’ve been told they can’t do what they want and so we’re watching this but i’m nervous the whole time and i’m like shielding the phone screen away from everyone because i don’t want somebody to see this i’m like hyper conscious of like other people seeing the screen but then you know i look across the aisle and somebody’s watching a full-on sex screen sex screams they’re watching a sex scene on there on their ipad full brightness well sometimes there’s sex scenes in things where you know it’s a it’s an r-rated movie and the movie’s not just like about sex but there’s like a sex scene or two i just think you should shield it just move your scr especially if it’s an ipad just bring it towards you especially if it’s an ipad right it’s not like in the in the seat i think you should be what you like to watch your airplane porn just in full size airplane porn i i think that’s a little strange because it yeah you it is a little bit odd but if it’s like an r-rated film and there happens to be a sex scene like you know whatever am i watching like the l word on the plane no um which i know you haven’t seen because you haven’t watched i have actually got their own word okay um but i think like if there’s a sex scene that comes up like it is what it is it’s fine okay here you’re talking about the one or two minutes of a yeah film that i’m talking about people that are watching a lot of sex a lot of sex a lot of sex and then the kids thing ah [ ] them like if you’re gonna bring your kids on on a plane it’s your fault for whatever okay i know you hate kids and everything but i think i think that it’s just you know remembering again you’re in a public space so what can we do to just be respectful sure whatever right but listen if you need to have the sex talk with your kid because you’re sitting next to me while i’m watching the l on the plane then that’s your own name then you’re welcome that’s what you say to that okay well speaking of sexy times here’s something don’t engage in self-pleasure on a plane this okay this is the thing and i feel so i know this sounds sexist of me but i judge the [ ] out of all grown dudes on a [ ] plane because dudes man you guys are just gross man and i just don’t trust you and if i’m sitting next to a dude on the plane i’m just like okay keep you better don’t be doing anything weird you better not be watching a one-minute sex scene in an r-rated film you can go watch something else like yeah i i don’t i don’t trust them and i’m sorry and nearly everyone who tweets at us is a dude who listens to the show but i don’t trust you well i was seated on an international flight next to a guy no way that was touching himself under his jacket and you had to tell the player i [ ] up for the first few minutes thought oh gosh you can see yeah i’m seeing movement down there because i didn’t want to look at him and what he was doing i was like that that’s weird and then i realized yep that’s his hand and i thought maybe he has an itch maybe he’s just dirty which is concerning i don’t want to sit next to a dirty dude a dirty person and then i realize no he’s actually touching himself so i hit my blinker my little flight person blinker she came over she leaned down i said i think he’s touching himself under his jacket could i be reseeded somewhere else and i said it loud enough so that he could hear me because i was so angry that he would infect my space that is exactly so ballsy that you like i i think i would have gotten up and gone to talk to a flight attendant but oh no no but we had to have our seat belts on so i couldn’t get back [Laughter] so what happened so they reseated me but they didn’t say anything to him no no i mean because when she comes over he’s not doing it then you know that’s like so much he stops it was so uncomfortable because i also was like i ended up feeling like somehow yeah because i was next to it because it’s harassment because it’s harassment because the dude is doing it because in a lot of ways you’re sitting next to him that’s the thing that’s disgusting that’s the thing and and you don’t say that about women because they don’t do that [ __ ] because they i mean i’m just i hate to be that lesbian but here i am like it’s just it’s harder to be a god oh my god it was disgusting but you know i have i have one no i have a couple more rules but the next one does involve hands but it’s a little bit different and this is when when the when the plane lands and people will sometimes clap at the end of a flight and i know this is a contentious topic people have very strong opinions on it but i think it’s sweet i think it’s an instant mood lift okay i think logan logan don’t wet hear me out i think people are really now i’m not a person that i’m not moved to clap but if everybody around me is doing it and they’re smiling at me it’s like when someone smiles at you you usually will smile just as like a reflex i will clap because they’re just like we made it we’re relieved we’re relieved that we don’t have to be on this flight anymore we’re at our destination i notice it a lot when i’m like traveling in other countries more than i do in the us yeah maybe there’s like an international culture well i was gonna say like the length of an international flight perhaps like compels people i don’t know i here’s i i don’t hate i’m not like such a cynical person like logan who obviously really hates it like i’m not like oh shut up everyone stop clapping um but yeah it’s i’m not i’m not i’m not compelled i also feel the same way and and this is even more controversial about people who clap at the end of the movie at a movie theater because i’m like you know again i’m not angry that you’re clapping but like the people that you’re clapping for aren’t here right now no one’s here you know you could clapping at a premiere clapping you know you’re showing appreciation for the people who made something that makes sense but like they’re not here right now so you’re just clapping in north carolina you know you could argue that’s even that’s even more noble to clap even more noble yeah that you’re clapping you’re showing appreciation even when you know the creators aren’t there to receive it okay okay but i do think there are two types of people the ones that have an issue like logan clapping and the people that are like whatever with it right logan are you generally would you say you’re like generally an unhappy person i actually clap at the end of movies oh okay proud of you see i think that’s a sweet that’s a really sweet you live in los angeles there could be like a grip there or something you know you know the person you’re like you got electricity properly to the things that needed it yeah a round of applause okay so we’ve made it to the end of the flight we have safely taxied the flight the boarding door has opened if you walk ahead of me oh i hate it i will check you mentally yeah i won’t actually confront you i think it’s so rude it’s it’s there’s such a logical series of events that need to happen to for people to on board properly there’s no reason to disrupt the usual flow of traffic i cannot handle it i cannot handle it and it is happening more and more i think part of it is that there are so many delays that people are rushing to get to their next site i think that is happening but i really think you should as you’re walking through the vocalization how do people politely localize it yeah i’m so sorry i’m trying to catch my next flight you gotta you gotta give us a reason because otherwise it’s just introducing dick energy i also um don’t understand the people that as soon as your like the seat belt sign goes off they’re like bam like up and in like i’m like and then and then they’re just standing there and also like the people who are in the middle seat who also decide that they’re gonna stand and oh heaven forbid the people in the window seat who are like i’m gonna crouch so that like my head touches the ceiling for the next 10 minutes i’m like what do you think you’re going to do for 10 minutes yeah like what is the point in this like rush i think there is a i’m standing to relieve my back i’m standing to stretch my legs but again you got to give off the energy that says i’m not pouncing to leave yeah like you got to give calm energy yeah i’m giving like i hope i don’t pee my pants energy at that point i’m giving like this could be the cross legged yeah i really hope this starts moving soon and by this i mean the people and not my urine you know that’s that’s the vibes that i’m giving off at that point i think you know you’ve really pointed out something to me today which is everyone sucks so much except for darcy cardin except for darcy cardin let me tell you darcy would never ever do any of those things no no no no i’ll tell you right now i i could see darcy putting her roller suitcase underneath the seat in front of her just to make space for somebody else exactly yeah and listen if darcy cardin wanted to share my arm rest oh yeah i would i would share my arm rest with darcy cardin yeah if darcy needs a younger sister i’d give nas up to be her younger sister yeah my mind was not going sister uh my mind was going shared blind oh no okay well i’m not looking forward to flying anytime soon and but i hope that the people listening uh understand what is acceptable and what is not uh ten simple rules ten simple rules for flying to just being a community a good community member of your next flight okay we’ve talked awkward moments uh on the plane but it’s time for that awkward moment awkward social moment of the week uh segment as we do every week i would like to put forward perhaps a an experience that um many people have had uh for us to collectively solve together i was at a uh family event and my cousin’s step-grandmother so yeah i’ll preface this with i have no living grandparents so this situation isn’t uh happening to me all the time but the step-grandmother um had completed her meal uh it was a it was a barbecue and then she was in conversation with cassie and i and i looked over and she was sporting uh the grandma leftover leftovers on the face is what i like to call it this is when a grandmother has food on her face or you know like yeah you get to that age you stopped stealing things you stopped you stopped feeling things stuff’s going into crevices maybe you don’t care as much but there’s a situation with grandmas and grandpas uh where there’s like there’s food on the face in in a setting in which there’s other people involved and now if it’s my own grandmother um you know i’m gonna i know how to handle it depending on which grandmother it is again they’re both dead so i don’t have to do that anymore but you know you do like a nice like oh grandma you you actually have a little bit something you know let me help you you know if it’s not your grandmother yeah it puts you in a little bit more of an awkward uh situation because you’re like i wanna i wanna help there’s grandma energy and i want to i want to assist this situation but it just you know when other people want to be respond on their face yeah so um and and have you found yourself in this situation with grandparents uh with food on food on facecraft it really depends is this the kind of grandparent that like willingly sits in an emergency row exit or is it one that that knows that they shouldn’t and i think that those are two very different situations you’re telling me if a grandparent uh does not have hand mobility um emergency exit you will let them walk around with food on their face because they deserve it they deserve it okay that’s nice um i mean what wound up happening was uh my aunt joined the conversation and said you have something on your you have your face what was on her face was it something that was like embarrassing or just a little smudge honestly there was a little bit of a lettuce situation so it was a bright green on her face um how did that i think perhaps a condiment perhaps perhaps like you know maybe it was a dash of mayo that had stuck to the lettuce that it’s that was adhering to her face yeah um and i believe there was like i mean maybe there was a corn situation you know all things that like you know meals to all meal interface it happens to all of us uh but you know just at a lesser extent i would think there’s also like um boobs as shelf um that happens at a certain age where it’s just like you know how much of the meal is gathered uh yeah in that area and the crevices you know yeah do you want to be told when there’s something in your teeth or on your face like how do you feel about people telling you i do i think that there’s a moment of embarrassment that you then rationalize and go well it was already there like this person pointing it out is just doing me a favor a favor um i constantly think i have things in my teeth or on my face even when i don’t honestly just as you said that i started like checking you know is that peanut butter [Laughter] um but yeah you do bring up a good point that it does it’s an awkward social situation grandma or not to point out if somebody has food on their face yeah but i feel like you should take a lot of responsibility yeah i think i agree with you i think you should i think you i think the responsibility is to say something but to be discreet yeah pull them to the side a little bit exactly yeah go whisper in their ear go just you know you have a piece of lettuce on your face grandma grandma grandma your lunch is on your face your boobs your boobs are covered in corn cornmeal cornmeal cornmeal your boobs are covered in grits your boobs are covered in glucose you have grits on your tips in 1943 that’s actually um how they would say it too you got it okay well all right maybe that wasn’t it it’s an awkward situation in which multiple people have been in there’s food on the face yeah how do you advise and how do you our advice like politely and discreetly when you can um see something say something there you go all right well thanks for listening to this episode of best friends back all right you can catch brand new episodes every friday make sure to listen so you don’t miss an episode oh it’s make sure to follow [Applause] i mean that’s true too make sure to follow so you don’t miss an episode if you’re enjoying the podcast leave us a review you can follow at mythical pods on tick tock for clips to share with family and friends you can follow me at negin and stevie everywhere at stevie w levine and of course you can hear me every monday through friday on good mythical morning with retinlink at youtube.com good mythical morning i’ll see you there [Music] hello friends i just wanted to remind you that trevor talks too much a very special podcast featuring our own trevor from mythical kitchen is back with season two so go to wherever you’re listening to me talk right now when you get your podcasts and listen to trevor talks too much highly recommend hey i’m josh and i’m nicole and we host the podcast a hot dog is a sandwich where we just had a great conversation with the incredible phil rosenthal and we think you’ll enjoy it too you probably know phil from a ton of stuff like everybody loves raymond his new podcast naked lunch that we were just on by the way was so much fun and of course somebody feed phil yeah he gave 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