DFMB 132: Dad Tries To Pronounce Starbucks Orders

This is Dispatches from Myrtle Beach with Charles Neal and my son Link from Good Mythical Morning. How you doing Link? I’m doing good. What were you doing? You were like touching your eyeballs. I just, you know, just doing something different today. You just trying to do. Oh, doing a little eyeball touch dance. Yeah, just, just rubbing these old, tired eyes. All right. That so, okay. Alright. I get it. Yeah, I get it. I’ve been doing pretty good. Yeah, I hear that. Yeah. Um, you got a special guest that’s coming to your house. I can’t believe this actually is happening. But it, it seems like that, but it’s happening. It’s happening. Yep. Yeah. That would be correct. Yes. Your, your daughter that’s, I, I don’t know how to say this, but that’s been doing all this traveling. Yeah. And been to all these different places, but she called her granddaddy and nana, several. I mean, this has been. We’ve been talking about this four or five months. I know, I, I thought it had been like a year. It’s been, yeah, it was. It has been a year. Probably has, probably has been. I mean, when I, you end, when you get old, you forget stuff. So she, uh, she is coming with some of her friends and staying at the highest this week. And, um, that’s amazing. So, yeah, because it has been over a year when, ’cause you were like, well listen, when you graduate, if you wanna come out here for like a, uh, a beach celebration week, you can do that and bring your friends. And I was like, well, that, that’s nice. But I would, what I was thinking was that don’t ever happen. I mean, but here we are and it’s happening. How many friends is she bringing? Five. Five. Seriously? She’s bringing two girls with her from los, from California. Okay. And two of her friends that are married are coming and meeting us from Muppet. Uh, up north somewhere. I don’t, I can’t remember if Yeah, I know who you’re talking about. It’s Mond or something. And so they’re, they’re driving down and supposed to get here, driving about the same time they get here, flying in and all meet and, and, uh, so we’re. N. Nana and I are looking forward to it. ’cause listen, she, she had all these other wonderful trips. Yeah. She went to, did she saved Italy. She went with us to Ireland. She went to Alaska too. ’cause she has, she went to, she went to Alaska, right. And then Italy and then Ireland. But then she saved the best. North Myrtle Beach, South Carolina for the last Yeah. Where you could get in the ocean. Yeah. ’cause what you need to be doing, dad, is you need to be planting the seed for like, all right. Now aint it time to get a job? Come on now, isn’t it time? Oh yeah. I to move on, I, I, I, I, I kind, I’ve kind already, uh, because i’s asked her late that that’s good. I called her la la the other day and I told her, I said, now listen. This is a vacation for y’all. I said, but we ain’t gonna be cooking every meal for y’all. I mean, I said, y’all gonna have to help. If you want something to eat, you can. You are welcome to fix it. Or you can, you ain’t gotta stay around us all the time. You and your friends can have fun together and do all those things too. I said, and she said. Granddaddy, we’re not going to do that. We’re going to help Nana out and do all this. But then I did throw in and I said, but Lily, what about some ribs on the grill? Mm-hmm. Oh Lord, that was it. She said, boy, granddad. That would be wonderful. So yeah, I’m a bit jealous. I’m ready to cook ’em. You already got ’em? Yep. Wow. And, um, going, going, going cook ’em on that wonderful gift that you That’s right. Be sure to give me some credit now whenever they’re eating it. Yes, that’s right. So your dad is here in spirit through this, this grill that he gifted me. That’s correct. And boy, people love that grill. Some people come over. About a week or two ago, I cooked a bunch of barbecue chicken on it link. Yeah. While you were in Ireland, Uhhuh. Oh boy. Are you able to keep the, the temperature regulated? Like you like? Yeah, I’ve worked, I, you know, so, you know, it’s kind of a work in progress, right. But I have learned how to, right. How to do that. So you’ve committed to make that big meal for them. And so what are, what are they gonna be up to? Dad? I mean, what, and are you getting into the mix? Uh, maybe a little bit. We’ll see. Uhhuh, uh, mm-hmm. Uh, what are the, what are the plants. They could use the golf cart, go to the beach and do the things they want to, and I’d go down there and help and get things set up for ’em and whatever they wanted to do. You know, different things. I mean, different days and you know, try to carry ’em around. Um, we, me and Nancy’s probably going, ’cause they get here on Thursday, we probably. We may ease on down to Fat Harold’s Friday night and let ’em watch us dance. So you gonna take him shacking? I ain’t told her that. I ain’t, yeah, I ain’t told her that yet. But that’s what I’m kind of planning on. Yes. Because I think I’m gonna cook for ’em on Saturday. Okay. Alright. And let ’em see. And then there’s all kinds of other places that they’re old enough now. They don’t just need to watch you dance. They, they need to be getting out there doing it. Okay. Well they need to be, well, Friday nights kind of a. Uh, you need to know how to shag to go down there on Friday night. Oh. So maybe I can, but that’s, that’s where they can learn. Yeah, but didn’t they, I wanna see, I want to, I want to hear. Yeah. You know what I wanna see, I’m gonna get, I’m gonna ask her to take some video. Well, I have, that you can share on this show. Yeah, since we’re not, not recording an episode while she’s there. I don’t think so. No. We’ll get some sort of a update here, but like, yeah. Well, I’d love for you to get them dancing now, but I don’t want her going home with some old shagging fart now. She can take, she can handle herself. I don’t need to. Yeah, I ain’t worried about that. I don’t think I’m actually worried about that either. But, uh. So we’re gonna have a, you’re gonna look out good time. Oh, I’m gonna take care of her now. You know, you, you know how Granddaddy’s is with her? Her oldest. His oldest grandchild. Mm-hmm. Going to take care of her and look after her. She might teach you a thing or two. Oh yeah, she might. Hey, all of ’em might can’t ever tell. Yeah, but you might. You might have to tell her to clean up. That’s the thing. It’s not the, I’m gonna be doing all the cooking for you because, oh no I don’t. Hey, she’ll do the cooking. I about just the cleaning up is the thing. I’m just warning you. I done cross that bridge with her. We done talked about that to you. Well, talking about it is one thing, dad, before they get ready now we ain’t going to worry about ’em. ’cause they gotta get up real early and go back home and to fly back and I’m gonna take ’em back to the airport. And, uh, ’cause it, she said that they’d already kinda lined it up and we’re going to get an Uber to. Come up here. So, uh, but I told ’em, I, I would take ’em back to the airport and see ’em off and all that stuff, so. Okay. Uh, well I’m so glad that it’s happening and I know that she’s excited and every time she talks to you on the phone, I was like, man, yeah, y’all are laying some plans down. ’cause she’s like, well, I talked to Granddaddy about this and I talked to Granddaddy about that and you figured it all out. So I’m like, yeah, she’s super excited and her, her friends are great. So it’ll, it’ll be a great time. It did. I hear that one of ’em is bringing a dog. Yeah. Huh? Somebody’s even bringing a dog. You’re bringing their little, well, I think it’s the couple that’s married. Yeah. So I think, I’m pretty sure. Okay, so you, it’s a small dog. Kinda like let be doing some dog sitting What? Gypsy and them. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Well, I, I look forward to getting a, a full report. So take notes. Well, we going to take notes and videos and all kind of stuff. Okay. And if there’s any gaps in the story, I’m gonna get suspicious now. Okay. Well, well, you just have to be suspicious then. Okay. All right. I’ll stay out of it, but I, I am happy for y’all. Well link, we gotta a holler out to Chloe. It says, hi Charles. I saw this sticker on the side of a car in South Carolina and immediately thought of you. Yeah, I’d rather be shagging. Oh, okay. I’d rather be shagging. This is not a bumper sticker. This is a back side window sticker. Yeah. And they make ’em. I used to have, I had one on my other truck that had a sticker on it. That was just like that, but it said I’d rather be shagging on it. You see a lot. Well, that’s what Dylan says. I’d rather be shagging. What do you mean yours? Yours said same thing as that. Yep. I’d rather be shagging than working or doing whatever we’re doing. I’d rather be, uh, downtown. Or wherever you go dancing at. I’d rather be dancing, rather be shagging. Alright. It’s a lot of fun. You don’t have one on your new vehicle? Nope. Uhuh okay. I’m not really a believer in stickers like this on the car though. I don’t know. I’ve never been a car sticker person. Something. It just makes me uncomfortable because I’m afraid when I try to pull it off, it’s gonna leave a residue. Well, it’s the OCD in me all. You got a little WD 40 and squirt it on and it’ll come off and then you can clean it right up. Okay. You, you might have just released me from my sticker anxiety. Yeah, because I do have a little sticker. On the back of my pickup now, it says I love my typo. And that was gypsy. Oh. Uh, it’s on my, it’s on my still. I ain’t never, I ain’t even took it off. Probably ain’t. Okay. Uh, so it’s funny ’cause this, uh, bumper stickers just a B Oh yeah, just like your email. Oh yeah. The B the E is not on B, I’d rather the letter B. Yeah, I think the E just kind of floated away. Right. Just funny. ’cause it’s, no, I don’t think it’s, I don’t think it ever had a E on it. Oh really? Hmm. That’s odd. Mm-hmm. Okay. Just like your email, they just used the word B, I’d rather B shagging instead. The aol.com. Would you ever get one of those stickers that is Calvin from Calvin and Hobbs peeing on something? And if so, what would he be peeing on? You know, uh, no. You know what I’m talking about? Like somebodys driving a Ford and then it, it’s, he’s peeing on a Chevy logo. All, all these young guys with all these pickup trucks and jacked up and I’ve seen them. I don’t know what I, I, I might start paying more attention, see what they are peeing on link. Thank you for that. Yeah, you’re welcome, dad. Yeah. Always pay attention when you see some, a sticker of somebody peeing. Always pay attention to what it’s being peed upon. Like that’s the, that’s the most important part. And I think maybe you could have one. I would agree to that. Yeah. Yeah, just go to a urinal, look to your left or your right. I could probably leave tonight when we get through with this and go find one. That’s right. See what it’s peeing on. They’re all up. Yeah. Always gotta note what it’s peeing on. But I think you could get one. It would be peeing on, I don’t know it, it could say not shagging. Be kinda like a double neg. It’s kind of like a double negative. He’s peeing on not shagging. I don’t, uh, no. Okay. That’s, that’s not going to happen. I’m alright. I’m too old for a peeing thing on the back of my window on my truck. Alright. I, Hey. You’re never too old for that. Dad. Not, I, wait a minute. I, I may have to have a. Figure out how to get a thing. And it’s a sticker that puts, on the back of it, it says, dispatches from Myrtle Beach with Charles Neil, my son Link. Mm-hmm. And then you’re peeing one direction and I’m peeing the other direction. Or we’re crossing streams. Yeah. Peeing in the creek together. Well, peeing in the creek and that and that, and the, when it crosses the streams, that’s the y. In Myrtle. You know what I’m saying? After a long day of painting and working, when I’m tired and I come home, the last thing I want to do is figure out dinner. That’s why I’ve been leaning hard on hella fresh lately, and honestly, it’s never been better. This summer they made their biggest menu upgrade. Yet this isn’t the hello of Fresh for you. Remember, it’s bigger. Healthier tastier. Now you can pick from 100 different meals every week, including seasonal recipes, global flavors, and bigger portions that actually keep you full. Whether I’m craving something comforting or want to switch things up, there’s always something new. 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Visit rosetta stone.com/dispatches to get started and claim your 50% off today. Don’t miss out. Go to rosetta stone.com/dispatches and start learning today. It is time for another edition of I’ll Help You Get Out of The Woods Link. I got one from Brian. It says I want to surprise my daughters. Were bringing them star. Good God, Starbucks, while they’re at work. The problem is they sent me their go-to orders and I have no idea what half of these words even mean. So I figured you’d be the perfect person to ask for help. Oh my goodness. Yeah. Since I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. Can you read these on the show so I can see if I have it right on my head? With all due respect, this will help me narrow down how not to pronounce some words I’m confused about lots of love. LOL. Okay. Yep. Okay. LOL. Laugh out loud. No, lots of love. Let’s stick with it. All right, so what, what’s the, what’s this first order that you’re going for? Sarah’s order says. Hmm. Grand Ice Mae Latte, one pump of pistachios syrup. Add caramel bet topping sub Steve. Okay. Alright. Did you get that? Because do what you said, which is the opposite for, I would say, for, uh, 80% of those words. Pist Pistachio. Did you say? You didn’t say pistachio. I said pistachio. Pistachio. Pistachio. Pistachio. Pistachio. And what was the last word? Sub. Sub Stevia. Yep. Oh. Oh, that was not what you said earlier. We got iced in latte. Right? Hit the first two words again. Grande Ice matcha latte. Alright. It’s all right now. Except for the first word. Grande. Grande. Well, there it is. There it is. You know, like Ariana Grande Ice Macha latte, wooey. Figured it out. Alright, what’s the next one? Jennifer’s order is, oh goodness. Vani. Frappucino with one pump of sugar free cinnamon do syrup aga style. A a forgot to, a forgot to style. Well, maybe you’ll remember. Don’t worry. That’s a dad joke right there. Dad. Come on. You gotta laugh at the dad jokes. A forgot to style. Don’t worry. You’ll remember it. You’ll remember your style. Most of those were right, the first, I mean, you, you got the F word, right? What’s the very first word? The 80. That’s way too many syllables. It’s only got two syllables. Dad ti viti. Well, that’s the right number of syllables, but you left the N out. Okay, but then say that last letter, the way that you used to say it. I. Vita Viti. Yep, that’s it. Venti viti. And this is a, this is a viti. This is just a, a frustrating, uh, way that Starbucks has made their sizes. That’s, I think that’s, I don’t know. I, I always say medium or large. I don’t, I don’t keep that stuff straight. Like they’re not, they’re not doing that to me. That Latin or whatever. Italian. Yeah. It’s not, they’re not doing that to me. But I think it means medium. They’re not doing it to me either. It could, could mean large. I don’t drink as much coffee as you do. Sugar-free cinnamon. What? Um, one pump of sugar-free cinnamon D syrup. I forgot to ATO style? Yep. Dull syrup. That’s not it. They, it’s two syllables, doi, cinnamon DOI syrup. Mm. It’s a hard C, not a soft C. Cinnamon DC syrup sound like a, a snake do. No, it’s um, it’s, uh. What is cinnamon? Mm. Che. Mm. Che Maybe it ought to be deuce syrup. No. You, you know why? We don’t need to know what it ought to be. We have to communicate you, they gotta get the order right? I’m giving you a hint. Mm. Che Cinnamon de sir. Okay? Mm. Che. Mm. What the mm-hmm. Is what you need to replace with this word. Cinnamon doce syrup, uh, do de doche do and it rhymes. Cinnamon delacey dole. Give it a CH. Dole. CHE. Dcy. CHE. Say that. Just say cha. Yes. Yeah. Do Doche, but it’s a cinnamon doche. CHAY. Cha. Hmm. Do CHAY. Doche? Yes, you did it. Dad. Chairman Doche. Sir, do you need, you got it for a second. There’s a brief window of time when I hope that they were listening at the drive through. Okay. You figured it out. You figured it out. Whew. It ain’t easy ordering. It’s Starbucks. Well, thank you, Brian. Uh, I don’t go to Starbucks. I’m sorry. Okay. Doesn’t go to Starbucks unless I might start going if they, you know, sponsor the show. Oh, Uhhuh, take note. Starbrook. Well, we got another one linked. This one’s from Steven. Yeah. And he said I accidentally ate my roommate’s burrito that he was very excited to eat. Like he talked about it all week. What should I do? Huh? Well, I’m kind of confused about having a burrito sitting around all week. It must have been, that’s weird. Yeah. One that was in the. Huh In the refrigerator or something, but, and wasn’t, he’s so excited about eating a burrito that’s there. Why didn’t you just eat the damn burrito instead of talking about, oh, I can’t, I’m telling you, I can’t wait till Friday when I get to eat this burrito that’s in my fridge. It’ll be nice and old by then. It’s like, what’s wrong with this guy? I think there’s apl, the door’s wide open to just tell this guy whatever. Well, maybe, maybe that. Maybe that’s what the problem was, that Steven didn’t want this thing to go bad and make him sick. So he went ahead and ate it. Yes. So he went and get sick. And now he can go, now he can go get him a new burrito. Oh. And put it in there. That’s not five days long Old. You know, the day before that he was going to eat it, whenever he was going to eat it. And then he’d be in, in, he’d be right in there for him where his roommate wouldn’t know anything about it. But Okay. I, I mean, I mean, if you got a roommate, Steven. And y’all living together. Yep. And you leave food in the refrigerator that y’all have had to eat of one another. Somebody’s going to eat somebody’s stuff once in a while. Mm-hmm. Uh, I mean, it’s just going to happen. So it’s life. That’s roommate life. Maybe he would just have to get over it and. Go get him a burrito that hisself, that want a week old, but, Hmm. Okay. So you’re throwing out a lot of options here, but I think you were giving good advice until you get, you kind of got frustrated it sounds like, and at the end you’re just like, well just deal with it. Yeah. Ate your burrito, deal with it. Yep. But if we back up. And I put things in proper order. It seems like there’s, you could, you’ve given a plan of action here. Just let me see if I’m hearing you right. Dad, if I’m picking up what you’re putting down, you are saying that he needs to replace the burrito with a fresher one just because just by definition it’ll be fresher. Just maybe he’ll never even notice then. That would be correct. You, you’re, I hear you saying if he does notice, then the follow up is, the only reason I hate it was to protect you from getting sick. That’s correct. Yep. And then if he doesn’t like that, you tell him that, that’s roommate life. Get over it. That sounds like a plan to me. That, I mean, that is a plan. Now, the, the one part of this that I don’t understand is how do you accidentally eat a burrito? I, I mean, how does that happen? I mean, burritos are big. It’s not like accidentally swallowing a spider or something, you know, or I, I accidentally, I accidentally went to the wrong house and. You know, got in bed with the wrong woman. I mean, these things happen, but you eat the wrong burrito. I don’t, I I don’t understand how you accidentally eat a burrito. Do they both have burritos in there? And why are they storing burritos for so long? Why are y’all stockpiling burritos? Yeah. How That’s, that’s a good point. I, I don’t know how, how did he accidentally eat it? Something like you, maybe he was yawning about that. Yeah. And he opened the fridge and fell on the burrito while yawning and had no choice but to completely consume it. Hmm. You know? Yeah. Steve, I think you got some repercussions here too. I, I don’t see how you accidentally eat somebody’s burrito. Yeah, I think, I think you’re lying to us and we can’t help you unless you’re, you’re forthright. Unless you give us all the information. It’s like lying to your lawyer. You know, we’re here to help you, but we can only help you as much as you’re willing to be honest with us. I mean, one does not accidentally eat a burrito, so. No, I, I’m advised you don’t really as, as your counsel dad to be his counsel. I am saying that you should retract your counsel. That’s my counsel, because I just don’t trust him. Yeah. But keep the retainer. Yeah. Yeah, we going to do that. Yeah. So I hope it is, uh, works out well for you, uh, accidentally eating a burrito, Steven. Yeah, definitely don’t go with that story, you know? Yeah. But the yawning, falling maybe, you know, free of charge. Let us know what happens. Yes. Send us something in about that too. Yeah, well link. We got another, we got one from Kylie, it, Kyle. Okay. I think. Is that right? It is in Kyle. Does it end an e. KYLE. Yep. That’s typically Kyle, but I mean, if you want to pronounce it E. Okay. No. Well, Kyle sent this one and says, Hey, Charles. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Hmm. As I sit on my toilet for the fourth time today, I find myself realizing that the thing I am struggling with right now might be one of the hardest words to spell. I never get it right. I, I won’t write the word out for the sake of this email, but I’ve decided that from here on out, I’m just going to spell it how you spell it. I’m guessing you know what I’m talking about. It kind of sounds like dairy. Thank you for your help. Thank you for your help with this very important manner. Okay. Alright. Do you have your whiteboard, are you up for the challenge? Yep, yep, I got my whiteboard. Okay. Alright, so you’re gonna write it down. You, you’re gonna hold it up and we’re gonna see what has happened. Uh, dad, you all right? That’s funny. Dad. He has spelled Choate. If you’re just a, a listener, he has spelled Choate on the board. And at this point, I don’t know if, I’m trying to figure out if, if this is just a, a brilliant comedic move or what are you, me? You’re just messing with me. No, I’m, I’m still trying to learn how to spare chocolate. He’s practiced. Okay. All right. You just practiced. Okay. All right. You’re warmed up with the whiteboard now. So now are you up for the challenge that he’s laid, laid down? I mean, yeah. I mean, I have heard it called Hershey squirts. Which is Cho Lake. So he’s back to writing. He’s back to writing. He’s thinking, he’s thinking, I don’t, I I’m still, I don’t know if I’m understanding this one or not. Dan, you don’t know what he’s doing. He’s on the toilet multiple times a day, and it sounds kind of like Dairy di. It says diary. Diary. I don’t know if that helps you more. Oh, that does make sense. It doesn’t sound like dairy. It sounds like diary, you know, like a private journal. It is taking him a while to catch up to the what’s what’s happening here. But I think now that he’s writing again, he understands. All right. Let’s see what you got. Dad. D-I-A-R-R-E-A. What is that? Dad? DIAA. Oh, what? R-E-A-D-I. Diarrhea. D-D-I-A-A-R-E-A. Hold it. Hold it a little lower. Hold it a little lower. And then hold it back towards you so I can see your face and what you’ve written. There we go. That’s good. So you look great. You look like a mugshot. Okay, so DIA area, DIA area. Dia area. I think that’s if it, sometimes it does go in places and that would be the DIA area. That’s not right. Dodad, that you spelled Dia area. Dia area. Well, I mean Dia area. Dia area. So make some changes now that I’ve told you what you did. Right? So back when you wrote Cholate, that was because you just thought when you write, when you spell something on a whiteboard, that’s just what you do. That’s your thing. Yeah. Right? Yeah. That’s my thing. They gimme a whiteboard. I just write. I write. I’ll try to raise chocolate even has nothing to do with the email, but, okay. Alright. DIA area was his first attempt and now Dia. Okay. D-I-A-R-E-A. What does that spell? Diarrhea. Well, I would say that that should be correct, but it’s not. Okay Now, so what you’ve done makes complete logical sense, but I know that there’s another R somewhere, and I also know that there’s an H somewhere, so, yeah, I know. I’m sorry, but it’s true. There’s a second R and there’s a H. Right? And that’s all we’re missing. So squeeze in another R and an H somewhere, and let’s see if we can get this. He’s writing, he’s thinking, hold it up a little higher. D-I-A-R-R-H-E-A. Now that makes no sense whatsoever. Is that right? That’s correct, yeah. But that is right. I don’t, I think in spite of yourself, like. I, the likelihood of you spelling that right is greater than someone who knows how to spell it. I’ll put it to you that way. It’s that ass backwards of a spelling You. Yeah. So you did it, dad, how do you feel? Hold it up and hold it up and, and, and, and tell all the listeners how proud you are of yourself. I, I’m proud I learned how to spell diarrhea. Now I gotta learn how to spell chocolate. Well, Carl, I’m. Glad I helped you figure out how to spell diarrhea it. That was a proud moment for all of us. I mean, I would never have guessed that’s the way to spell diarrhea, but you did. Mm-hmm. You beat us at our own game, dad. That’s what you just did. Oh, I don’t know about that. Oh no. I think you did. I try do the best I can do. I always try to do the best I can do. When you’re swimming in a pool, then you’re feeling something cool when you’re driving in a Chevy and you’re feeling something heavy. That would be correct. Yeah. Yeah. Double Rh. Well, all you Myrtle Beast out there. I hope you enjoyed the show today. And it did. Uh, it, it was fun having you all here with us today. And we’ll be back next week for another one. And don’t forget to follow and subscribe wherever you get your podcast and on YouTube. And while you are at it, rate and review us on Apple Podcast. And if you got a question, comment or a story you’d like to share with me, email me at rather be shagging fifty3@aol.com. And y’all have a great rest of your week, Sarah and Jennifer. I hope you enjoyed your. Venti and Grand Starbucks drinks. Mm, close enough. Close enough. All right, dad, take care of Lily now, or let her take care of you a little bit. I will get some of that Grand baby loving and, um, yep. You know what, y’all need to just, just show ’em a good time. I know you’re more than capable. Yeah, but I do want them to, I’m gonna try, I don’t want ’em move into Myrtle Beach now. So. They don’t need to have too much fun. She’s got to get a job. I don’t think that’s going to happen. Okay. Yeah. All right. Alright. Love you. Love you too. Deck out your ride with our new car drop. 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