ramble [Music] [Applause] [Music] this is dispatches from myrtle beach with charles neal and my son link neal from good mythical morning we’re gonna swing right on into the show with my son again today here we go let’s do it dad man we and you know what we’re on the other side of vacation you’ve got a glow about you right i mean i got a i got even more tan than i used to have and i mean i’m just ready to get back at it and see what we can get into today cause we had a great vacation i’m telling you you’re telling me i’m telling you we had a great vacation yeah man hawaii was great so yeah we’re gonna have to bring everybody up to speed on on some of the highlights but yeah you’re working even more of a tan i didn’t realize that you could have gotten more of a tan i i didn’t think you could get sunburned but i feel like you got as close as you’ve ever gotten on like day two of our trip yeah the second day i got got kind of red feeling and everything but you know i think we i skipped the next day a little bit the next day i just went right on back out in it and started getting more tan and you know it just kind of worked itself in and i’m brown as a little button now brown is a button yeah what do you mean a button like buttons are all colors well most of them on my clothes is brown oh okay was that your goal your stated goal was to get enough tan to where you could match your buttons my goal was to get more tan than i had because i don’t get much even though i live at the beach so the way that i saw it you were just laying on a a lounger drinking some what what was that drink that you had him bringing you it was like uh yeah i had them bring me them dream sickles dreamsicles yeah and at a certain point you definitely drifted off to dreamsicle land yeah right right on off if you drink enough drink cycles you’ll be in dreamsicle land yeah what was it like there because when you woke up you were a little you’re a little pink well felt pretty good to me i mean i i i had a good time and didn’t have to worry about it so you know it all went away and it went where i couldn’t sleep that night i didn’t have that much sunburn so i i was in pretty good shape are you getting more emails is it happening yeah i’m getting some emails sure am it’s time for another edition of myrtle beach mailbag i want to throw out a a holler out to a guy named cameron saltz you’re going to do a holler out yeah i love this i’m hollering at the cameron socks he’s the custom agent i met and he recognized me when we come through detroit when we came back from germany so cameron hello and holler out and i’m giving you a holler and uh keep look listen in the link and listen on good mythical morning and and keep joining in on our podcast uh dispatches from myrtle beach yeah which is this they’re listening to it yep he’s listening right now he probably knows what it is that’s good that you’re promoting it though for everybody else who just happened to might be walking by like a like bleed coming out of some ear earpods you hear a little bleed and say oh what’s up he’s listening to you just told him you want to holler out anybody else i love this you’re hollering people out yeah you want to i i got some emails we’ve been looking at and uh i got one from uh kelly stewart and it says what does a woman and a hurricane have in common okay a woman in a hurricane so winds winds blow that that could be dangerous they could get real damp that could be dangerous i don’t know you just got to tell me kelly is kind of dangerous i’m going to tell you she says they scream when they come and take the house when they leave [Laughter] wow okay kelly all right all right i mean dad you picked it she might know more about me than she thought she did [Laughter] taking that taking the house is this a sort this is yeah you yeah you’ve been through it a couple of times some sometimes you got to cut your losses that’s right yeah just go on and start all over again just like she was talking about fourth time’s a charm right that’s right fourth time’s the charm i’m i hit i hit the jackpot this time so i got another one from kara spear said what do you call a masturbating bull what do you call a masturbating bull oh gosh i’ll give you a hint you know it’s it’s a bull it’s a cow i know what a bull is dad what do you mean that’s not much of a hint you just you just gave me a hint that a bull was a cow steak i don’t know what what do you call a masturbating bull beef stroking off dad beef stroganoff stroking me yeah i i i didn’t send these in people send them to me i’m just reading them to you yep you just you just you just are drawn to them and you read them yep that’s right try not to leave nobody out try you know if they send me something if you’re just trying you’re not doing this for you you’re doing this for them right that’s right yeah is i got one from uh sarah lively what is similar between a southern divorce and a tornado wow we’re really hitting the in the divorce natural disaster angle hard i don’t know what someone’s going to lose their trailer how do you feel about like southern jokes with the butt of the joke being living in a trailer i mean you’ve lived in a trailer haven’t you i live i lived in a trailer before how many trailers you lived in two single wide or double wide single wides okay see there you go you’re getting real with it did were the wheels exposed i covered them up and had them had it under pin where you couldn’t see up under see that’s that’s classy you like put some lattice over your your wheels or your mobile home right yeah it doesn’t even look like a mobile home anymore yeah except when you look at it that’s right yep and you’re like well it’s yeah there’s no really hiding that’s a mobile home but i mean there’s a lot of stigma with that but there’s lots of positives with a mobile home am i right i mean speaking from experience what are the best things about living in a single wide mobile home you you got somewhere to lay your head down to sleep i mean yeah you can see pretty much all of it at once you can keep an eye on everything that’s right and then if you hey if she don’t want it and want something else you untie it and put the wheels back on it and take it and move it somewhere else and keep living in it yeah it’s it’s got an underpinning of of a threat of a plan b i could i could just string up out of here at any moment that’s right or you could get snatched out from under you too oh yeah hit me with another one i got one from james goss i am also in the remodeling renovation business near washington dc i met a very sweet old lady whose plaster ceiling collapsed and we just replaced her ceiling the room where the ceiling fell is higgins her cat’s bedroom she decided to go ahead and have the room repainted while we were there and asked me the best color to paint the room for her cat he’s asking you what the best color what what color higgins wants the room to be have you ever encountered such a question in your own work no and yeah if people understand cats and what i know about them you can give them a name but they won’t never answer to it and so i i i don’t know how you’d figure out even what color you’d want to paint that room because if a cat can’t remember its name it just it just comes to kitty kitty kitty kitty yeah we know you can speak we you can speak meow give us some more of that because i i any opportunity i have for you to speak cat i like to hear it you should talk to higgins directly right now using cat speak higgins kitty what color would you like to have your room painted ah i don’t know uh maybe something with some different colors in it maybe uh some pinks and purples where i could see different colors in the room and paint the top part one color and paint the bottom card another part another color so that’s what i want you to do is paint my room two different colors a pink and a purple i didn’t realize we had higgins on the line i didn’t know we had that technology to even have a guest much less that guess be a cat but dad you were talking directly to hickens yep that’s amazing that’s amazing okay so there we have our answer yeah we’re gonna paint the top pop pink and the bottom part purple you’re a cat psychic i like a definitive answer and hearing it directly from higgins was quite a treat poor old higgins having to talk to me he he understood though yeah he got it he’ll get it he’ll get it yeah purple and pink he’s gonna get it [Music] custom ink can help you recognize employees show customer appreciation and outfit your teams with your favorite products and brands customized with your logo at customink.com you can easily make your mark on all sorts of products including water bottles backpacks polos jackets and so much more make custom ink your go-to custom gear partner with great customer service quality products and all in pricing along with personalized help when you need it and an easy to use website when you don’t all backed by a 100 satisfaction guarantee go to customink.com to get started today i got one from toxi sploosh sploosh okay says what’s the best way to incorporate food into the bedroom if you catch my drift wink wink you doing a little winky there did he do that in his in his toxic sploosh email that’s what he did in his toxic email what’s the best way to incorporate food into the bedroom dad wink wink if you if your wife lets you bring food into the bedroom and eat it in there just bring it in there and see see what what happens with it i don’t know it’s uh let her take the lead let your partner take the lead yeah so start there well i’ll throw out some foods uh chocolate syrup you ever tried chocolate syrup yeah yeah i like chocolate syrup i mean in the bedroom that’s probably getting way on up somewhere i probably may not i might i might not ought to be talking about but yes i’ve had chocolate syrup in the bedroom okay with somebody yep so i mean the way it’s just the way that it comes out of the bottle it’s just like you can just like slather it anywhere and and just rub it on them and see how how good it’s going and then maybe you might want to lick it off you might want to in my experience though it’s really sticky it’s really sticky afterward i mean it’s like in in this but if like if you take chocolate syrup residue and then skin on skin it’s like it’s not a pleasant feeling yeah but before all that that’s what you want is get all stuck together so i mean yeah yeah i it just wasn’t for me that’s not the sensation that i want okay i’ll let’s go i’d rather do whipped cream than chocolate so it’s a little more water soluble ain’t so hard to get out of the sheets in you can just jerk them off and wash them and they so bad then getting chocolate chocolate getting chocolate out of sheets is is an ordeal and step one is jerking the sheets off yeah you said it man it’s like you could i never know what you’re gonna say you confuse me sometimes like i i thought we were on the same page but then i don’t know what you’re doing with your sheets but you make a good point yeah you want to be able to launder those things water soluble foods here’s another one um frozen cucumber let’s just say it i ain’t gonna bring no frozen cucumber to the bedroom i mean somebody the woman might bring one to the bedroom but uh right you know i’m hoping i i got the frozen cucumber with me when i come to the bedroom [Laughter] that cold huh well i didn’t say it was cold but i mean i get it that’s your that’s your role that’s right all right so i think we gave toxic sploosh a good thorough answer i got one more from uh charlie parker said what did the sign on the door of the brothel say dad you’re talking about the brothels again i don’t know you tell me because you’re the one who read the sign it said beat it we’re closed there is a theme there’s a theme to this episode it’s like naturals sexual disasters and self-pleasure yep and and and eating your vegetables you know staying healthy i don’t know there’s a way to pull all this together but i don’t think we have to do that you know that’s the listeners job to pull it all together we just put it out there and they pull it all together yep remind them what the email is rather be shagging 53 at aol.com and it’s rather the letter b shagging without the g53 aol.com now it’s time for a word from our sponsor this episode is almost sponsored by ron’s coconut farm in maui hawaii we want you to know that you need to go and see ryan and see what all he does with coconuts i mean he’ll cut them apart and drain the different kinds of waters and let you drink them and taste of them and cut them apart and shave some of the coconut that’s not fully grown before it gets to milton he’s gonna cook you some noodles and put some worcestershire sauce and different kind of stuff on it and you’re gonna get to eat them and them things is pretty good i was surprised ryan but keep keep cooking them and all these people i think they’ll they’ll like it and then he’s gonna open up a coconut and give you some of that good coconut milk to drink so if you’re in hawaii you need to want to go see ryan go to go to his coconut farm go to coconut information.com and see what he’s got going on boom it’s time for another edition of shagging around the world so let’s see what should we tell what should we share like what’s the best memory that you had from the trip my best time going to hawaii was that i got to go with you and christy and all the kids and do something different with all the kids different time i got to go swimming and teach lando how to throw a ball across the water to win them water balls and put spin on it where it jumped up down he he liked that and then i invited lincoln to go play golf which he never done in his life i thought he he’s never swung a golf club i don’t think and he oh that’s a and i cause you know i called him and i said do you want to just go ride with granddaddy or you want to play golf he said oh no i want to play golf and the thoughts went through mine like what is he thinking right ain’t he never ain’t even never swung a golf club well i think my question is what were you thinking i was thinking that we we may have a hard time if we had a bunch of people behind us it was going to be running up and saying you don’t need to get the hell out of the way we playing golf but right that didn’t happen because we had plenty of time and like you see on tv me and him was on a par 3 looking out over the land on a par three at the ocean and we got to take a picture there so that’s a pretty satisfying picture to see that beautiful water and my grandson stand inside on me so being with all of y’all that was my best thing about hawaii getting to spend time with all y’all and because we live a pretty good piece of part besides getting to talk to you now on this podcast this it was really wonderful yeah it was it was truly a special vacation you know i told you guys you and nancy at different points in vacation that i wanted you to know how glad we were that you were there and just reassure you that like it was going even better because you were there than if you weren’t there you know we’re so glad to have you and i said you know what you guys are low maintenance you’re doing good you’re not asking too much you’re along for a ride and you you seem pretty happy the whole time oh yeah we was hey we were just happy to be there i’m telling you we we were tickled to death to get to go do stuff with you and then you always have a little teary motive about stuff and we went up to the what uh went up to see the volcano and i pulled my thing out that i was over 70 and then we didn’t have to pay but 20 dollars before all of us to get in the car load she said that’s the reason i brought you that’s right that’s right yeah because i’d had to i saved 10 whole dollars 10 whole dollars bringing bringing some some old folk with me up to the top of the volcano i don’t know if you broke even on that part or not you’re saving you 10. yeah i reallocated to 10 to some other things but i mean to be able to treat the two of you to a vacation with us i mean it felt like a i don’t know if coming of age is the right thing but it was it was kind of like a rite of passage you know i’m enjoying a certain amount of success given what’s happening at mythical and so i’m in a position where i can say not only can we go on this amazing vacation which we’re so grateful that we have the ability to do that but then i also have the ability to invite you guys along as a treat and so it felt it was a little symbolic for me you know now that i’m of a certain age and can afford this the role reversal of me treating you to a trip versus you know i remember back when i was in high school you would we went on we would go to concerts you know oh yeah you know it and it was kind of if you invited me to a concert where you were going to pay for it you were my dad you know yeah that’s right i don’t know i don’t know why you i would want to call it a rite of passage maybe you know what i mean though it’s kind of like the song we’ve gone in a full circle now and you’ve you’ve done something that i tried to help do with you and you’ve done something that made us go in a circle and you helped us to be able to do that we wouldn’t have been able to go where we went to so that makes it pretty neat yes it does it’s kind of like if a baby nurses its mom and then when it’s the mom gets old then the mom nurses the baby yeah or looks after him that’s right then the baby nurses the mom yeah he’s a nurse too to mom yeah yeah but they don’t actually like suckle the teat that would be weird am i i’m making this way too weird yeah you’re going out there going somewhere else you know what you go to dream circle land i’ll see if i can recover from that like horrible strange analogy all i’m trying to say was it was a great trip and i think we love each other more and we have memories to build on and we never got tired of each other did nancy get tired of you though no you know with all the accidents that she had me and you both and christy had to kind of look after her so we need him getting into that oh you’re not you’re not gonna you’re gonna halfway throw her under the bus no i know she’s not sitting back there on the on the bed to fend for herself i don’t know where she’s at she’s not even here she needs her space after your trip there was a couple of moments when you got a little you might i mean i was wondering is dad about to get a little ornery well christy kind of noticed that [ ] but you know what she said said well the apple don’t fall far from the tree yeah i was kind of exposed in the fact that like christy and the kids were spending more time with you than they ever have they were seeing so much of me there was an opportunity for them to give me a hard time not to give you a hard time well that let them see where some of it might come from so they’re lighten up on you a little bit maybe it ain’t it’s not your fault that’s right yeah i’m gonna start blaming it more squarely on you the genetics but it really was special like when you say that you you know you had that moment orlando you had you’re playing golf with lincoln and i mean lily was a part of this too and you know she was it was nice for her to be around i remember one day remember the second day what she announced at the breakfast table she said i’m just going to be doing what i want to do today and i’m like that is such a 19 year old thing to say you remember when she said that yeah i remember what she said and i said well what’s new lily it’s like that all the time man [Laughter] she didn’t have anything to say to that and i remember christy was getting such a kick out of your sayings and you said one thing and she just died laughing one night but we were talking about something and i think lily had done or somebody done something i said that dog don’t hunt she just lost it and she just lost it and was sending thanks to her friends and she she was sending them the things that said that dog don’t hunch no not you didn’t get it right she thought you said that dog don’t hump huh that’s right yeah she didn’t say that yeah yeah so you’re misunderstanding her misunderstanding of your saying yeah which is that dog don’t hunt is basically another southernism yeah where it’s like well basically that doesn’t check out that’s not true that is a false claim that’s not gonna work but it also applies you say that dog don’t hump i’m telling you because if a dog’s really working at it they’re gonna hump so she thought it was even more hilarious so i think that’s the new scene that dog won’t hump yeah and i told her i said well we’ll just have to change that say and you come up with a new one and then it was also a thrill when we were we were down there spending the first time together since we started this podcast and the numbers started coming in it’s like whoa this thing is in like the top eight top ten comedy podcasts on spotify and and apple it’s like man i i’m like relaying this information to you and i didn’t know how you were processing it i you know this is new to me about how how all this stuff works and everything but i did figure out if you if you come in in the top 10 or something that’s going out all over the world somebody’s liking it somewhere enjoying what we’re doing so we’re going to keep on doing it and see if we can keep it in the get it on up in the top five or the top three and see oh more people to watch oh you you want you going for you going after rogan well we’re gonna go after whoever we need to get after talk some [ ] to rogan right now do it like talk to him directly well i don’t i do explain to me who rogan is but that’s a good start i mean you don’t even know who he is so you’re talking to a guy you don’t even know like i think that’s the best place to start go for it so rogan you you must be doing something right for you in the top one two or three on these podcasts podcasts and spotifys but you’re gonna have to watch that uh dispatches from myrtle beach is coming after you with my son link from good mythical morning so you better just keep your game stepped up and just come on come on we’re going to keep getting it too oh see that that was pretty upbeat like i wanted i want to get scary at a certain point like can you even go scary like in intimidation and he’s rogan what’d you say his name is yeah call him rogan rogan this is link’s dad and here’s what’s going to go down from now on you better get your game stepped up because we’re going to step ours up and you better beware cause we’re going to be swinging into things that you ain’t never swung into before so just come on and see what we can get together with let’s get with it okay so is this is this an mma match now or it could be okay i mean if you work something out he needs to come on the show and you know us get back and forth together i’m game i ain’t scared i’m too old to be scared have you seen a picture of this guy no okay i i kind of want you to leave me out of it i mean he doesn’t fight mma but he does a lot of commentary you know that’s that’s a lot closer to mma than i’m willing to be tell me what mma is mixed martial arts you know when they’re like when they’re fighting when when the guys are fighting in an octagon well maybe i got in the morning i want to get into because i ain’t getting a new octagon with nobody i’m too old for that yeah we’re just going we’re going to keep it in the world of podcasting that’s correct yeah that’s what we’re going to do i like the confidence though i love the confidence that you know we’re bringing our a game and anyone who is is working on in the world of podcasting needs needs to be put on notice good gun of money what you looking at a photo yeah danny just showed me a photo of him i’m gonna have to i’m going to order me some weights like lincoln’s got that start working out okay that ain’t gonna happen either you know i i don’t know whether to tell this story or not but yes you know i like to start at this you and christy went snorkeling and christy had on one of them baywatch bathing suits oh yeah that’s right and it was red that’s right and we oh are you going to tell it you going to tell my story you want me to tell it you tell it then you go ahead and tell the rest of it yeah we i mean we were out there looking for sea turtles since we knew we heard you could see him and then i don’t know i could just tell that like i was like we need to stay together but at the same time i gave christy some space because i just i felt like she wanted a little space like she kept swimming a little bit away from me and i didn’t want to badger but then after a while i’m like you know i want us to be snorkeling together so i went around the point and i finally caught up with her and she just you know she just kept on getting it as you would say she kept on going around i felt like a like a puppy with my tail between my legs just following her falling around and finally she comes up and she says there’s an eel down here and i’m like oh my god that is not christy’s voice somebody took christy’s bathing suit somebody else was wearing a baywatch bathing suit just another woman that i had been like literally stalking like trunk keeping my distance but then like trying to stay close because i love her so much i was like why does she not i mean i can take a hint christy there’s an eel down there i’m like oh god good god what happened to her and then i was like oh oh and i was thinking i’ve been following you around this whole time are you speaking to me now and is this your way of saying leave me alone get away from me yeah and i was like oh really uh i was just have you seen any turtles she was like no and then she went on that way and then i found christy way over there by herself just totally content where have you been my feelings were so hurt that this stranger did not wan wanted to keep getting away from me yeah i told i told christy you you were regressing back to that time when you you were working with me and you got upset by the way way i was messing with you and your feelings were hurt you had to go off and suck somewhere oh man so the the apologies keep coming dad thank you i i just i treasure the memories that we had in maui and i think that it’s it’s something that’s going to be a part of our relationship from now on we have these stories to hearken back to it’s it’s irreplaceable and it’s just you know so i’ll i’ll always treasure it i’m so glad that y’all were there and one day i want i’d love to have that full circle moment where christy and i are the ones being invited on vacation with lily lincoln or lando and their partners you know i hope that we set a good example and they’ll return the favor when i can get that 10 discount yeah you need to tell the kids that me and nancy’s gonna try to live a long time so when they do it with you they can invite us too oh yeah all right it’s a deal well we should shut this one down till next thursday all right well before we end today’s show i want to tell you about something very exciting that my son has coming up good mythical ageing is back september the first if you thought last year was crazy just wait for round two if you are a mythical society second and third degree member you can buy your ticket to good mythical evening right now sign up at mythicalsociety.com pre-sale is on now until sellout and general sales starts tomorrow july the 15th [Music] we’ve swung around today and we’re gonna swing you around the world again next week so just tune in and come see us listen to us again next thursday so just have a good week and a good time send me some more emails that rather be shagging 53 aol.com love you dad love you too [Music]