♪ Oh, ah ♪ This is “Dispatches from Myrtle Beach” with Charles Neal and my son, Link from “Good Mythical Morning.” And I guess y’all used to us now being on every week, so y’all keep watching. Yes. How you doing, Link? I’m doing good. I mean, at a certain point you might be able to say, “With my son, Link, from ‘Dispatches from Myrtle Beach,’ as well.” Oh, yeah. You could say that. We can do that. Well, you might try it on occasionally. I don’t know. Just to keep them guessing. I dressed up because, put a nice shirt on. I see that. Because this episode will come out on Easter week. Okay. You gonna wear your Easter best this week? Oh, yeah. You know, I dress up when I go to church to Sunday. I got all kinds of different-colored jackets. I may even have to- You look like a walking Easter egg hunt when it comes to Easter, Dad, and you pull it off. I pull it off. Yeah. I don’t know if I’ma wear blue or pink or yellow or which one I’m gonna wear yet but- You got a duckling yellow blazer. You’ve got a Easter egg blue blazer. Yeah, I bet you probably got like a bunny’s butthole purple blazer. No, I ain’t got one of them yet. But you know, if I might find a purple one, I’m sure you’d get to. I’d probably come home with it. Go to store and ask them, “Do you have a bunny’s butthole purple blazer?” A bunny butthole purple blazer. Yeah, ask ’em that at SNK warehouse. Not a sponsor. Are you hiding any eggs? No, I think I- I don’t think I am either. When you were growing up and stuff was going on, we used to hide a bunch of eggs at nana’s house where y’all could find ’em. That’s right. And we would always get, I would always be in my Easter best, and we would take all types of photos. I have to dig up a photo. Maybe we can throw it in this episode. What are you looking at, Dad? You got some sort of, he has a bewildered look on his face. I got some Tiny But Mighty popcorn. Tiny But Mighty popcorn. I’ma have to ask these people about this ’cause I know it’s huskless popcorn. You’re talking about the stuff… This was like many, many episodes ago. These are the people that you met in? Aruba. The chalupas. Yes, the chalupas in Aruba have huskless popcorn and you… Well, let me see it. It’s not in the… You’re the- But, it’s- Higher, higher, higher. I thought it was supposed to be purple and black, but I guess- “Purple and gold,” you said. Black and gold. Purple and gold. Yeah. I guess it’s just purple and gold in the bag, but when it pops it’s white. Yeah, it all- It ain’t purple. It looks white. But, yeah. That’s kind of the gimmick of it, but what about the husklessness? Is there anything stuck in your teeth? No. When you crunch it, is it softer? Is it only the soft part of a popcorn? ‘Cause that’s what Yep. you were claiming, I remember that. Hold one up to the camera. I wanna see a kernel. Higher. Don’t you know where the camera is originating on this thing? Okay. Yeah. I’m sorry. I’m getting impatient with you. Oh, here we go. It looks like normal popcorn, Dad. You really built this up. You’re telling me that it disintegrates completely in your mouth. There’s no husk. I don’t feel none. There ain’t nothing stuck in my teeth. Well, this is a modern-day miracle. I guess so. Well- You don’t seem too excited about it, but I’m over here envious as I’ll get at, that I don’t have any huskless popcorn. Well, I can remedy that. I’ll send you some. You and Christy can pop it and have it at home. So this is Tiny But Mighty popcorn. We’re showing ’em some love. We’re giving ’em a holler out because they have succeeded at creating huskless popcorn for your eating pleasure. Your gums will thank you. We’re not getting paid for this sponsorship. Just did this ’cause I, they were good friends and nice to us in Aruba, and so we… This won a paid sponsor. It’s time for another edition of Myrtle Beach Mailbag. Well, I got a question from Lisa and it’s a pretty astonishing question. Oh. To especially ask me. Okay? But the question is, “If you could have any job for a day with no consequences-” Mm-hmm. “What would you choose to do?” Oh. This is astonishing. Why did you say this question was astonishing, Dad? And you said, “Good question.” Well, I mean, as opinionated as I can get sometimes. Okay. Can be pretty astonishing, but- Yeah. You know, and we went to Hawaii, what? Two years ago? At least. And I think it- we went to Lahaina, where it all got burned up. That’s right. Yeah. And my answer, Lisa, I’ve been keeping up with stuff on my phone about what’s going on over there and are people getting, being able to rebuild and- Mm-hmm. And all those things going on. And Link, they got tiny houses. I ain’t talking about one or two. They got thousands of tiny houses sitting over there at the airport, and at different places that they could set up, and these people could move in instead of living in a motel room. Uh-huh. And the thing that I would like to be was to be in charge. I don’t know if I would need to be the governor or what- Mm-hmm. Of Hawaii for one day because I would pass a law there that all those people that had been displaced and don’t have a place to live, that they would be able to bring those tiny houses, ’cause they won’t give ’em a permit for it. They don’t want ’em setting over there. They don’t want ’em there. And they just leave these people that have been burned out and don’t have anything left for ’em or anything. And I would be the person in charge that got them a place in that one day, and they couldn’t reciprocate, they couldn’t change it the next day. It would be some kind of law that this permitting department would have to put all these houses in there where these people would have a place to go live. So, are you telling me that the houses are there waiting to be lived in? They’re there. But they’re not placed yet so that people can live in ’em. They’re staged at the airport? And they won’t, and because of the bureaucracy and the people that live there, where you go get a permit to put those things in, it takes months and months Oh. and months to get a permit. Okay, so you would fast track the placement of these tiny homes on these people’s plots of land so that they could live on that- Where they’d have a, yeah. While they’re getting everything else going. Well, ’cause now they’re moving them out of these motel rooms because it’s getting to be tourist season and having to move somewhere else. And some of these people had to move in what, it’s been about, well, about a year and a half now. Mm-hmm. That they’ve had to move seven times. Seven times. So this is the, do you- And they have- And your heart’s going outta these people, you know? Oh, I’m telling you, I mean- You wanna fix it. And I know permit and stuff, but I mean, when you have a catastrophic, something that happens like that, the governor ought to step in to somebody and say, “We stopping this. We gonna give these people a place to live.” Instead of a motel room for 18 months that some of ’em has been in there, whatever how long it is, it’s been pretty close. You know, help these people. I mean, they need some help. You know, the feeling. They need somebody- I mean, like we talked about before, when your house burned down, you were displaced and- I mean, I’ve been there, done that, walked that road. I mean, but I had insurance and had a place. It was just some friends of mine took me right in. Well, there ain’t no friends over there that can take nobody in ’cause there ain’t nothing left. So you gonna step up and be a politician? Yeah. And if I needed to- What y’all think about that Myrtle Beasts? Dad’s taking the high road. He’s like, he could’ve come up with a fun answer. He could’ve made it light. I didn’t. You know, and I thought about that. I thought about this show and what we try to do, but I’ve been keeping up… I even told a friend of mine the other day, I said, “You know, sometimes I wanna just get on a plane and fly to Hawaii and go over there and tell these people they need to be doing, get on TV or do something, and tell these people that they need to fast track and do something for these people.” They’ve left these people out in the cold. I mean, it just ain’t right, you know? And I thought about, you know, doing something lighthearted and what I might want to do, and be able to travel around the world and get anywhere I wanted to, but, you know, somebody needs to speak out sometimes for things that’s going on in this world and… Hey, and me speaking out probably ain’t gonna make a hill of beans worth of nothing for anybody over there but, you know. Well, I’m sure there’s a Myrtle Beast around there that’s probably hearing this, and at least knowing that you’re advocating for ’em, I bet you, is going a long way to make them feel better. Maybe the governor of Hawaii is listening. Okay. Well, I guess I would be an NBA coach for a day. I guess I’ll take the silly road. I mean, just like, wouldn’t that be, I know so little about, I know enough about basketball to know who’s, like the score and positions, but I know so little. Like me coaching, like, if these, like, amazing athletes would do what I said, that would be quite a game to watch. Yes, it would. I think that would be fun. Well, let me ask you this. Means you gonna be an NBA coach, did you pick a team? No. Whoever will take me. I guess. You’re like, “Right. Who would I coach?” Oh, no! You could pick a team ’cause they’d have to take you, this is- Yeah. No consequences and go wherever you wanted to. You could be an NBA coach, that would be correct. But when it’s no consequences, I think that would mean that it wouldn’t have a negative impact on their record, because I’d guarantee we would lose but it would be entertaining. I mean, it would put the Harlem Globetrotters to shame the things that I would be getting. Like, oh, LeBron, you know, the things that he’s capable of, it’s like… I want you to do a fast break. You’re going down the court and then I just, once you get to the foul line and everybody’s set up, I just want you to turn around and run back and just, like, obliterate your own goal. I just want you to do like the most amazing dunk for the other team. Just inexplicably. That’s the play. Hmm. I’ll call a timeout and everything. He’d be like, “What? Oh, like, yeah, yeah.” You know? It would be talked about forever. The greatest player Oh, yeah. in NBA history scored on himself. He dunked on himself. You know? That’s headline material. Coach Link from “Dispatches from Myrtle Beach” orchestrates… And then they lose by two points. Like, this is like, you’re tied at the end of the game. It’s like, that’s what I want you to do. I want you to… Maybe, I don’t know, that would be my idea, and I’d be coming up with stuff the whole time. You know? I want you to take your jersey off. I want you to turn it inside out. This is during gameplay. I want everybody to turn their jerseys inside out and then get down on the floor, nose to head, nose to head, and do like, some sort of like, do the worm. Do the worm. I want you to break out into a halftime show in the middle of the third quarter. Like, I’ll bring the music. It’s just, you know, there are no rules. Like, life’s too short. Why are we just playing basketball? Come on. You’ll win the next one. Yeah. Record’s good enough. There are no consequences. You know? Well, if you talking about the Lakers, their record ain’t good enough, so. Oh, see, I’m not in it now. Okay. Good. That’s what I would do. That sounds like fun. Okay. That’s what I would do. I guess I would be willing to be lieutenant governor of Hawaii for a day if you’re the governor. Just to be there. I would wanna, I’ll help you out with the tiny houses. All right. All right, so you’ve made the world a better place and I’ve goofed off playing basketball. Got it. This episode is sponsored by Rosetta Stone. Why do you want to learn a new language? Maybe you have an upcoming international trip? Want to connect with a family member or friend? Or just want to learn a new skill? In comes Rosetta Stone, the most trusted language learning program, available on desktop or as an app. It truly immerses you in the language you want to learn. Rosetta Stone has been a trusted expert for 30 years with millions of users and 25 languages offered. Rosetta Stone immerses you in many ways. There are no English translations, so you really learn to speak, listen, and think in that language. Plus it’s an amazing value! A lifetime membership has all 25 languages for any and all language needs in life. That’s lifetime access to all 25 language courses Rosetta Stone offers for 50% off. A steal! Don’t put off learning this language. There’s no better time than right now to get started. For a very limited time, our listeners can get Rosetta Stone’s lifetime membership for 50% off. That’s 50% off unlimited access to 25 language courses for the rest of your life. Redeem your 50% off at rosettastone.com/dispatches today. Rhett and Link came out with a new collegiate collection. There are three total pieces, a green hoodie, a green tee, and gray sweatpants. A nod to Ivy League colleges. Head to mythical.com to get yours. It’s time for a first edition of What in The Hell Is This Doohickey? All right, Dad, with this segment I’m going to show you a picture of a doohickey, and I’m sure you’re gonna be like, “What the hell is that?” And then you’re gonna have to figure it out. Right? Okay. ‘Cause you know, this my opportunity to continue to educate you on- I hear you. Some cutting edge stuff. Okay? Maybe you know some of these things. I’m not gonna say that you won’t. All right? So take a look at this first one. Initial reaction? Just tell me what you’re seeing because everybody’s not seeing the picture, so you have to describe it. So before you even say what you think it is, describe it in detail for those that aren’t watching the video version. It’s a vehicle that can travel and go across ice and snow. And it’s got four doors on it and it’s got some funky headlights and a grill. And it must be all-wheel drive or four-wheel drive or something. It must really be, have a good heater in it to be driving around where it looks like where it’s at, ’cause it’s very cold there. Very cold. What do you think it’s made of and talk about the overall shape of it. It’s got aerodynamics where it’s sloped up at a point at the top to the middle of it and then it slopes off back where the air flew off of it. Where it’ll give you good… I don’t know if it’s gas or electrical. Where it don’t have much resistance when you’re driving it. What does it look like that it’s made out of? I don’t know. It’s kind of like tin or, that’s bent and molded and- So do you know what this is? Have you ever seen one? No. I don’t think I’ve seen it. So what do you think it is? It’s some kind of car. Not exactly a car. Well, I mean- I’ll give you a hint. You said, “Is it gas or electric?” It’s electric. That’s a hint. Well, that’s going to hell in a hand basket anyway with all that stuff but- What do you mean? Well, I mean these companies is, Ford Motor Company’s about quit making electric vehicles. I mean, they ain’t got nowhere to get no parts for ’em. Put the batteries, do nothing with ’em, so. This is not Ford. This is another electric company. I’m trying to think of an, it won’t come to me. This is a Cybertruck. You ever heard of that? No. Tesla. Elon Musk’s company, Tesla, Oh. has made this. It is a Cybertruck. I actually saw one on the road out here, couple days ago. How is it a truck when it don’t have any ways to haul? It’s got a truck bed on it. Like if you swiveled around and looked at the back of it, there’s a truck bed with a tailgate and everything. Okay. You don’t like it? Oh, well, it’s pretty far out there. Yeah, it’s pretty far out there. In terms of performance, I think it’s been quite a disappointment. All right, let’s move to another one. Describe what you see in this one. A Starbucks lime smoothie. Okay, because it is a green beverage in a Starbucks cup, you think it’s a lime smoothie? That’s what it looks like to me, you know? No, it’s a type of latte that’s green. What type of latte is green? Avocado. No, it starts with a M. M? Yep. M. What? It’s a type of tea. Hmm. I never order this. I don’t like the taste of it And I’m not gonna order it ’cause I don’t go to Starbucks. All right. You start a fire with a what? A match. Yep. That’s a hint. Phosphorus. It’s a phosphorus latte. Add a A on the end of that. On the phosphorus? No. To match. A match. Matches. Add the letter A to the end of- Matchata! Matcha. Matchata Matcha latte. You ever heard of one of those? Matcha? No? You never heard of a matcha latte? No. All right, well, that’s what it is. So next time you see Okay. somebody drinking a lime smoothie, it’s probably a matcha latte. Matcha latte. Matcha latte. All right. That’s two words. So tell me, Matcha. so you said, do you try to, what? What is it? So it’s a matcha latte, what is that? It’s like a tea, you know, it’s like. Yeah. It tastes like a tea. It tastes like- But gross. But gross. Yeah. Yeah. Well, look. All right, let’s see this next one. What do you see? A bunch of eggs wrapped up in crochet or velure. Okay. All right, they’re different colors, but each one is its own thing that can be used. It is egg-shaped, but I will tell you, what you see on the outside is what it is all the way through the middle. So that velure-type stuff, that’s what it is all the way through. Oh, it’s kind of like when Nancy does strawberries and dips ’em in that chocolate but gets some different colors. It’s not edible, but- Oh, it’s not? But Nancy’s more likely to use it than you are. You put ’em in a bowl and they’re really pretty and something for Easter? Nope, it’s smushy. Like you could smush that thing down to almost nothing. Oh, it’s a thing like you can put in your hand and squeeze it for exercise. Like a stress ball? You’re closer. You could use it for that, but it’s used for something else. You could put one, if you’re a woman, you could put one in your bra and make it where it would stick out. So it’s a fake nipple? Yeah. Nope. Fake boob. You use it on your face. You what? They use it on their face. People who apply makeup to their face use this thing. It’s like a sponge. It’s a sponge of some sort. Maybe I ought to get Nancy one of them. She cleanses and takes her makeup off and uses something like a little sponge or a pad, so- There you go. That’s it. You could buy one for Nancy. It’s called a Beautyblender. Okay. I wouldn’t have known that it was called a Beautyblender myself, so. All right, let’s see the next one. We’re gonna get futuristic again. Describe what you see. This is an actual thing that people- Oh, yeah. Oh, you’ve seen this? Okay, what? Oh, yeah, that’s that thing where you can watch and play games with it and watch movies and different stuff with it. And it gives you a lot of action with it where you, instead of having to just watch it on TV. Okay. Do you know who makes it? Hmm. Sony. Okay. Good guess. This is a Apple Vision Pro. It is a VR headset but it’s a very specific one. If you look straight at her, there would be an image of her eyes that you could see that would be projected on the front of it. Oh. Are you interested in getting one? Well, no. “No.” All right. I also think that she’s using a couple of Beautyblenders in this shot. You reckon? All right. Right. And finally- Well, I’m trying to think. It looks like one arm is real on this thing, or this person ain’t even real. And this arm over here is like, they got this, like it’s a mannequin with that on it. You could be right, Dad. It could be AI generated. All right, what do you see here? This is the last one. You ever seen this in real life? Avocado toast with bacon on it. You were right until the bacon part. That’s like, what’s it called? Mayo? The little stuff? Yes. The stuff that you could put on pizza. Oh, the hots. Yeah. Yeah. Little- Yeah. The hot seeds. Hot. Yeah. Yeah, hot seeds. That’s what- Hot seeds. None of us remember what it’s called. Yeah. Yeah, but avocado toast, you know this one, Dad! Have you ever ordered this in a restaurant? Absolutely not. Why you gotta be so sour about it? Well, I mean, I see Nancy eat, she cuts the avocado up and eats one every morning because she’s kind of on a diet. Yeah. She’s on a diet. Okay. All right. But she eats that, but she don’t eat no toast. But she eats a avocado. A half of one every morning. Now, you can order one of these for brunch out here in LA and pay like 18 to $45 for it. Why are you laughing? It’s a cruel world I live in out here. I can’t. I think I, well, he’s appalled. I’m just being, I’m just telling you, Daddy. 18 to $45. Well, I believe I could spend my money better than that. Oh, man. “How did your dad die?” Well, I told him how much avocado toast cost in California and he choked to death. Hmm. He had a heart attack. Choked to death. Oh, I’m sorry, Dad. That was. So, did I learn you something? Huh? You got the last one, right? That’s good. Oh, yeah. A little bit, some wouldn’t come to me. I oughta thought, if I was smart as you, could remember stuff like could, I should have remembered that one. Some of the other ones but- You remember what the truck is called? No, I done forgot. Well, you did. That was the pop quiz right there. What about the sponges? What are they called? Things where you take your makeup off and you- What are they called? Makeup removers. Okay. All right. What about the green stuff on bread? Avocado toast There you go. with little hot sprinkles. Hot seeds, I think is what we can- Crushed red pepper. AKA crushed red- Crushed red pepper. Figured it out. ‘Cause I put it in my- Hot seeds. Hot seeds. I put it in my barbecue sauce. You’re welcome, Dad. I put it in my collards when I cook ’em too. Okay. Yeah. Crushed red pepper. I said, “You’re welcome.” A little bit. Just a little bit. Yeah. Thank you. Okay. Well. You know, you trying to teach me. It ain’t never too old to learn something. I sure ain’t there. Yeah. So I’m learning. Theoretically. Hmm. I’m confused. I know. That was What The Hell Is A Doohickey? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That’s what we just did. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. We just did that. Well, you know, I would’ve think a doohickey was totally something different from that but, you know. You know what a doohickey is? You never said doohickey? It’s just something that you work on and do something with and try to fix it. Yeah, it’s like something you don’t know what, like a doodad or a thingamajig. It’s a placeholder word when you don’t know what something is. Oh, okay. All right. Well, I didn’t know what some of that stuff was, so it fits for me. Exactly. Yes, and then. There you go. Well, hey. Ah, you know. Steam’s coming off the brain today. I learned a lot of stuff about doohickeys today. And I hope it was fun for all y’all here with us today and we’ll be back next week for another one. And don’t forget to click those follow and subscribe buttons wherever you get your podcast on YouTube. And while you’re at it, rate and review us on Apple Podcast. And if you got a question, comment, or a story you’d like to share with me, email me at ratherbshaggin53@aol.com. And have a great rest of your week and we can’t wait to spin your world around again next week time. So, we’ll see you again next week. I’ll be talking to you, Link. Yes, sir. Love you. Love you. All right.