This is “Dispatches From Myrtle Beach” with Charles Neal and my son Link from “Good Mythical Morning.” How you doing, Link? Doing good, dad. Feeling great. We’re getting into the swing of April big time now. We’re, shoot, we’re almost in May. Oh yeah, it’s springtime has sprung. Summer. It’s starting to turn summer there in Myrtle Beach I bet. It turned summer a little early there. Oh yeah. It is been pretty much in the 70s, close to 80 off and on most of the time. And back down to maybe in, just in the 50s at night. When do people start coming in for vacationing? Is that, I mean, is that, that’s not until June I guess, right? No. Oh, oh, wait a minute. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Easter weekend. Yeah, Which was- Weeks ago, Two or three weeks ago, whenever, this place was packed. Oh really? You couldn’t have found a room down here if you’d have wanted to. So what did you- Not, anywhere. What do you do when they start flooding the beach? Do you still hit the beach or do you avoid? No, we still go some, a lot of times we’ll just go when I get home from working or something in the afternoon. Now sometimes Nancy will just go and get her a spot and- Uh-oh. You getting a phone call? Who’s that? Do you need to take that? That’s the weed man, lawn company wanting to sell me something. Weed man? Weed man. Where they take care of your lawn. Okay. Whatever, dad. I’m telling you. And so, but yeah, that- Your weed man, your weed man’s calling you. He’d been trying to get his business back. I’ve been, I do it myself. Oh. Do you grow your own weeds now? Yeah, I grow my own grass. I don’t have no weeds. I don’t have weeds. Okay. Alright. But I’m sorry. No, it’s fine. If you need to talk to your weed man, just talk to him. So what you got for me today? Well, I hadn’t told you a joke in a while on the podcast for old time sake. We got one from Jonathan Lawrence. Alright, I’m ready. It says, what did the insurance salesman say to Adam and Eve? So an insurance salesman. I don’t remember there being an insurance salesman in the garden. Just think about Adam and Eve. Adam and Eve, first couple, they took a bite outta the apple, temptation. Is it related to a snake? No. Is it related to an apple? No. Is it related to being naked? Yes. Okay. And what did the insurance salesman say to naked Adam and Eve? Deductible? Is it related to a deductible? No. Gimme the first word of the punchline. I. I’ll need you to put on some clothes first. Nah, that doesn’t. I can see you’re, I can see you’re not covered. I can see you’re not covered? Alright, that’s- You know, he’d like you, he’d want you to have it. Yeah. Yeah. Coverage. I should have got that, coverage. That was the word I was looking for. Okay, you ever watch that show, “Naked And Afraid?” Yeah, I have watched it. Well, it’s kind of sad for me to bring up, but I, when we used to go, our friend Grace passed away. That was our friend here. But when we used to go up to her house, she had it on all the time. All the time. She was obsessed with “Naked And Afraid?” And she’d loved watching “Naked And Afraid.” So I’d go up there, me and Nancy go up there to see her and she’d leave it on, but she’d mute it. But we’d, so we could talk. Me and Grace could watch what was going on. Would you ever do that? Be dropped completely naked in the forest? No, I ain’t doing that. I would not do that. I would not do that. I’m afraid I- But them places they put you in there, there’s some things that can bite you. It ain’t cute. There’s certain places I don’t want to be bit, you know what I’m saying? I know what it gets. I know what it feels like to get bit by snake. I’ve been bit three times. So. On the what? The dick? On the hand. Oh, the hand. Yeah. Okay. But not on the like balls. Oh no. Uh-uh? No. Okay. Or like the taint. The what? The taint. The taint? Yeah. Have you ever been bit by a snake on the taint? Well, I don’t know if I know what the taint is, but no. I thought I told you this. You may have, but you know- It taint you balls and it taints your butt hole. It’s right there in the middle is your taint. Taint hole. Well, there’s no hole there. If there’s a hole in your taint- Oh. Then that’s not your taint. Taint is just the segment of skin between your butt hole and your ball sack. Okay, well no, I ain’t never been bit there either. So yeah. Yeah, that’s, you don’t want to be, three times on the hand. This is because you just handle snakes willy-nilly. Yeah, used to catch ’em and sell ’em to Campbell College and- I know. At the biology department before I could have money to buy beer. How do we get on this? What were you talking about? I don’t know. You were talking about tanks. Adam and Eve not covered. Oh, Adam and Eve not covered. That’s right. Alright, well tell ’em where to send a joke if they want, if they want you to read it. Yeah, if you’re gonna send us a joke, send it to, God Almighty. It’s your email. He remembers his email except when I tell him to remember his email. And then he always gets, you know it until you ask for it. I’m telling you. Rather. Oh, rather be. That’s it. ratherbeshaggin53@aol.com. Yep. That’s kind of right. There’s an extra at in there, but you know what I mean, aol.com. Okay. That’s right. It is time for another edition of Shaggin’ Around The world. Well, Nancy and I took a trip with some friends of ours, Graham and Jackie, and we went to Washington DC. Oh really? Just the four of you? Just the four of us. Did you just. But there was about Road trip? 4 million other people up there. So I mean, we was a, whew! Boy, there was a lot of people up there. So, what was the occasion? We, Nancy had never been to Washington DC. Really? And, it was the peak where they, we was pretty sure it was gonna be close to the peak week for the cherry trees, the cherry blossom trees. And was it? Oh it was. Oh man. It was some kind of beautiful. We got up there on Saturday afternoon and Sunday. It was kind of cool, but it was sunny and pretty. And we went over there and walked down around the waterway where the water and all the cherry trees are around it. And we got some pictures and stuff, we took and different things. But we went to, let’s see, that day we went to the Lincoln Memorial. And went to the Vietnam Memorial where all the wall is, where all the people that were killed are there. And went to the World War II one where the wall was and to the Korean War, so. Now Lincoln’s a lot bigger than you, I think you might be. Was Nancy impressed? Well, she liked it all. I mean, she, my wife can take in some stuff when we go, get to go somewhere new and she really enjoyed it. She had a large time. She had a large time. Had a large time. Hey, the only bad thing about it was, boy, we had to do a lot of walking. Like the first day we walked about six and a half miles. Okay. And how’d y’all hold up with that? Well, we held up and Jackie and Graham were pretty proud of us that we held up, but we didn’t have no trouble going to sleep that night. Oh yeah. Or the next night, the next day we’d walked seven miles. Oh. So do you get ornery when you start to get tired? Do you start, are you on your best behavior because your friends are there? Or do you start snapping at people? Oh no, I, well I think I- We’re gonna walk somewhere else. Wait, well, well I can’t, where’s the, there could be a, there needs to be a tram. Isn’t there a monorail at this place? Huh? Oh no, I didn’t. I did pretty good. I mean, I wanted to see it and all that. So no, I did pretty good about the walking. I was pretty patient about it. Okay. Good. They’d let me stop and sit down and rest for 10 or 15 minutes if I wanted to. Okay. And so, you know, it wasn’t like, you know, we were obligated just to stay in a dead run, we got to rest some. Did you? See, my main thing, when I travel with a group and I try to be aware of my needs and like, that’s why I carry around my own bag full of all the crap that I might want. My lip balms- We did that. I have, hey- My pills, all that stuff. ‘Cause I don’t wanna, I don’t wanna be a burden to people, but my main thing is like, when it’s time for me to get a coffee, there’s a window of opportunity there where if I don’t get it, I’m gonna be in, I’m gonna be outta sorts. I’m not gonna be having a large time. And that’s my one thing. I’ve actually thought about carrying caffeine pills. ‘Cause I have an addiction. Why you making a face? It’s just caffeine, I mean- Well- That’s why you drink coffee. I think he ought to. Hey, I think he ought to do like me. I quit drinking coffee. Why? Well, because it was causing some problems with my acid reflux. Okay. Well I don’t have that. Okay, well you just keep right on drinking it till you get it. Did you go to the Smithsonian? Yes, we did. Which one? The one with the Hope diamond in it. Is that the world’s largest diamond? The world’s largest diamond. How big is it? I almost, I think it was about seven carats. Is that bigger than a baseball or what? 45 carats? No, no. 45 carats. Oh yeah. 45 carats. Well, I had to sit down and rest in that place a little bit, Link. And while I was sitting there, I had kind of seen somebody and they kept kind of kept looking at me. And finally he, I read, he just got up enough nerve and he walked over and he says, “Are you Charles Neal, Link’s dad from “Dispatches from Myrtle Beach” and “Good Mythical Morning?” I said, “You are correct.” That’s what I told him. He said, “Oh my God.” I said, “I knew that was you, me and my girlfriend were talking about it.” She said, he said, “Can I go get her and we can take a picture?” And I said, “Oh yeah, we can do that.” And I said, “But you need to hurry. I got to keep up with these other people.” And he ran, got her, and we took a picture and it was kind of, it’s kind of funny walking around and you’re in the Smithsonian Institute and people are coming up and wanting to take a picture of you and all these other people that are around watching. You’re the main attraction at the Smithsonian, dad. And saying, “Who are you?” So I had a bunch of my cards and say with some of ’em around. And I said “This is who I am. You can find out if you look on this QR code and you can find out all about me and my son.” So. There you go. They might have kicked you out for soliciting if you’d have kept on with that. Even in the Smithsonian. “Excuse me, sir, if you’re not gonna put your business cards away, you’re gonna have to leave. This is a, this is a museum.” I didn’t think about that. But. Alright, lemme see these other pictures. This is you in front of South Carolina Monument. Oh, at the World War II Museum. Okay, oh, look, here’s you in front of the cherry blossoms. Yeah, man. That one was hanging right over into the water. And you’ve got on some sort of winter hat here. I got my Toboggan on. Toboggan. Yeah. Okay, oh, and there’s one just out in the water. Link, Nancy was about having a fit to find this one. And that one’s called Old Stumpy. And the other side we were on where he took a picture, they got a sea wall up around the water. Well, they’re getting ready to cut that one down. And it’s one of the oldest ones ever at the, where they got the trees around the water and they gotta cut it down to put the seawall up. And so they had it cordoned off where you could go look at it. And it is a old stumpy cherry tree, ’cause I mean- Yeah, there’s not much to it. Not much to it. So Nancy actually had researched about this tree? She was, she wanted to seek it out? Brandy, our daughter told her about it. Did it meet her expectations? ‘Cause I gotta say it’s a, it is a bit stumpy. Well, that’s what she said. She said, well, it’s not much of a cherry tree, but we got to get a picture of it before they cut it down. Yeah. Hey man, I just noticed something. What? I just noticed something with you. You’ve been showing me, but you ain’t. You haven’t seen? You about got your stuff filled in. That’s right. From your tattoos. Man, that’s looking good, Link. If I look this way, you can’t, this is the old tattoo on the outside, see? Yeah. And then when I go like this, that’s new. Man. Here it is. Oh my gosh, I’m so tired. I need to sit down. I need a coffee. That’s how I show off my tattoo. Oh, the group needs to stop. I gotta drink a coffee. But then we went to, the next day, we went to the Arlington Cemetery where all the soldiers are buried. and then we got to see the changing of the guard at the tomb of the unknown soldier. Oh yeah. If that place don’t get, kind of get you kind of emotional and- Right. Yeah. There’s something wrong with you. Yeah. I mean it’s not just any cemetery. You got all these people who’ve sacrificed their lives for our country, so. Yeah. And it is beautiful there. God, one of the things I told Nancy was, I don’t know who’s got the contract to keep this grass cutting up here. But man, this pace is immaculate. These people cutting grass and doing something all the time. The government has a really good weed man. Yeah. Yes they do. Why do you want to learn a new language? Maybe you have an upcoming international trip, want to connect with family or a new culture or just want a new skill or hobby. In comes Rosetta Stone, the most trusted language learning program available on desktop or as an app that truly immerses you in the language you want to learn. It has been a trusted expert for 30 years with millions of users and 25 languages offered. Rosetta Stone immerses you in many ways. There are no English translations. So you really learn to speak, listen and think in that language. 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Therapy can give you the self-awareness to build a social life that doesn’t drain your battery. Well, I just learned what social battery is and my social battery is usually pretty good ’cause I like being around people and kind of like being the center of attention sometimes like me and Link both, you know. But it’s pretty neat, you know, but a lot, I know a lot of people don’t like to be around a lot of crowds for very often and it’s kind of out of their boundaries with what they do. So, whatever your lifestyle is BetterHelp can help with that if you need some help with it. So you just need to go online and look it up and find out what your aptitude is about your social battery and they can help you with it. If you’re thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It’s entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists any time for no additional charge. Find your social sweet spot with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/dispatches today to get 10% off your first month. That’s betterhelp, H-E-L-P, .com/dispatches. Care about your grooming as much as me and Link do? Unleash your legendary style with “Mythical’s” line of grooming and personal care products. The collection features items from the hair on your face, hair on your head and for everything else available now at mythical.com. Hey link, you remember that segment we did called, Say What Now? Yeah, where you tell me a term and then you gimme clues and I have to guess what it means. Oh yes, and I got some clues that we’re gonna go over from Brianna Brown that sent them into us. Okay. And what’s the theme? And the theme is Victorian slang edition. Oh. It’s time for another edition of, Say What Now? Victorian slang edition. The first word is gigglemug. Gigglemug? Gigglemug. Is this a person that’s their mouth, which is a mug, Is constantly laughing? That’s pretty close. When you’re not laughing, what are you doing? Crying. Smiling. Smiling. Smiling. So is someone who- Always, always smiling. Who’s someone smiling all the time? A giggle mug is someone who’s constantly smiling. Yep. Okay. That might be you. You’re, well, you’re not always smiling, but you’re, you are a smiley guy. You’re a gigglemug if I, maybe, alright. Hey, I’m off to a good start. What’s the next one? Got, God. Got the morbs. Got the morbs? Is this three words? Yeah. Got the morbs. I got the morbs. Morbs as in like morbid? Like I am, I have a sense of impending death. I’ve got the morbs. That’s a little extreme for what got the morbs means. Okay. I’m afraid that I might die. You getting too deep for this one. Got, I just, I got the morbs. Down in the dumps. Well, I, you know, that could probably be what it means. Well, what does it mean? It either- That you’re sad? Oh, just sad. You’re down in the dumps. Got the morbs. It’s like having the blues. Yep. I got the morbs. Okay, the next one is tight as a boiled owl. Tight as a boiled owl. A boiled. Tight as a boiled owl. So you’re kind of doing charades with your face now. I like that. Do that again. Tight as a boiled owl. Is that one of your eyes is rolling back in your head, but the other one’s not. How do you do that? I don’t. Tight as a boiled owl. Tight as a boiled owl. A boiled owl? Yeah. Why would anybody boil an owl? And if you boil an owl, they get tight? I don’t think that’s got anything to. I mean, have you ever boiled an owl before? No. Like if you boil a chicken, does it get tight? No. I don’t know. I mean, when I boil a chicken, it usually shrinks. Right. Right. But does it shrink and get tight? Does everything shrink around the bones? Tight as a boiled owl I don’t, I guess this just means- But it’s just listen to me- Like sore? Listen to me say. I’m tight as a boiled owl. I am listening to you, dad. But you look, you look like about to pass out. Yeah. You’ve had too much to drink. You’re getting close. Oh, what is that what it is? You’re drunk. That’s it. No, I’m asking, are you drunk? Oh, well you did. You answered the question and I said “No, I’m not drunk.” Okay. Tight as a boiled owl means I’m drunk. Tight as a boiled owl. I wish I knew the origin of that, but I don’t want to know. It’s scary. I like owls. They’re cool.. I don’t want ’em to be boiled. Alright, so that’s drunk. That’s a good one. Tight. I was tight as a boiled owl. Okay, this next one’s a good one. Okay. Cupid’s kettle drums. Cupid’s kettle drums. Kettle drums. It’s see, when you’re on the beach and watching women go down the beach, what are you watching? Well, and is it drums? Does it bang? They bang? It’s drums. Yeah, they bang. Maybe the cheeks bang together or the boobs? Well, yeah. Boobies. The boobs. Boobaloobies. Yeah. Okay. Breast. Cupid’s kettle drums. Bong, bong, bong. I like that. Okay. The next one is not up to dick. Not up to Dick. What you doing today? I’m not up to Dick. I’m in. I’m not up to dick. I’m just not up. I just- Oh. I just don’t know how I’m gonna be able to do this today. Is this, you’re not up to par? You don’t, you’re feeling under the weather? I think we could take that as a pretty good answer. It says- Does it mean that you don’t have a sex drive? No. Okay. It just- Too literal. That you, not up to dick means you’re unwell. So, not feeling. Not up to Dick. I’m not up to Dick today. Yeah. You need to tell you go in, next time you’re having a meeting with all your employees, that’s what you just say, “I am not up to Dick today.” Yeah. That would go over well. Okay. Thank you. Thank you for showing up for this impromptu meeting. I just wanted to share with you all who work for me that I am not up to Dick. What are you up to today? Well, I’m not up to Dick. Whatever you think I’m up to is not Dick. So. Yeah. I mean- That’s wild, dad. Yeah. That’s wild. Okay. The next one is- Sometimes when you get tight as a boiled owl, then you’re not up to Dick. Yeah. But you got the breast in between so it makes it all come out. Yeah. Cupid’s kettle drums make me up to Dick. Yeah. The next one is, Chuckaboo. Chuckaboo? Is this a person? It could be. Yeah. Yeah. Or is it a verb? I’m gonna chuckaboo on outta here. No, it’s not a verb. I don’t think. A chuckaboo is somebody who, when you chuck something, you throw it. Am I on the right track? No. Be like you and Rhett. Okay. Just chums, friends. Friends. That’s it. Two chuckaboos. Yeah. Friends. All right. Yeah. I could always use another synonym for friends. Good friends, yeah. Oh chuckaboo. That’s good. Yeah, you and Rhett’s a chuckaboo. Alright. That’s good. They had it going on in the Victorian era. Yeah. Some- Lots of syphilis I think. The next one is some pumpkins. Some pumpkins. Is this an, is this something you say like an exclamation? Like some pumpkins. Yep, yeah. Like- Some pumpkins. Gee whiz. That’s amazing. Is that what it is? You know, I’m gonna take that. Okay. I’m gonna take that, ’cause it says, “Something really terrific or impressive.” Some pumpkins. All right. I like that. My favorite is the boiled owl. I’m gonna try not to forget that one and I’m not up to Dick. How you feeling today? I’m not up to Dick if that’s what you worrying about. And I hope all the English people really liked the way I pronounced your words today. Oh yes. And that you get a big kick out of it. And send us some more in at ratherbeshaggin53@aol.com and we’ll, we might put ’em on again. He remembered his email. It was fun having you all here with us today. This episode was sure some pumpkins. Oh yeah, it was. Yeah. We’ll be back next week for another one. And don’t forget to follow and subscribe wherever you get your podcast on YouTube. And while you’re at it, rate and review us on Apple Podcasts. Do you chuckaboos, have a question, comment or story you’d like to share with me? Email me at ratherbeshaggin53@aol.com. And y’all have a great next, a great rest of your week. And we can’t wait to giggle your mug again next time. Hopefully you’ll be up to Dick. Whoops. Up to something. All right, dad. We did. That’s good. I love you and I’ll see you later. Yep.