This is Dispatches from Myrtle Beach with Charles Neal and my son, Link from “Good Mythical Morning”. How you doing, Link? I’m doing good, Dad. How are you doing? Oh, doing pretty well. Doing pretty well. Yeah. Okay. Are you in, like, a “in the mood for a surprise” kind of mood? Or are you in the mood for, like, it’s one of those days. You gotta warn me. If you’re gonna spring something on me, you gotta warn me. Well, that ain’t a bit of fun, but yeah. That’s right. But no, I ain’t in, I’m not gonna spring nothing on you, and I- What if I were to spring I may spring a little something on you that you may not know about. Oh. You know, in a little bit, but. Well, what if I were to spring something on you? Do you want any sort of warning or preparation? Or would you just want me to No, I’d just as soon you did kind of like I did you. So you know, it’d just be right off the top of my head and you’d get that first emotional feeling that, you know, that I get from, so. Lily! Hey. We got a special guest. All right. I’m the special guest today. Surprise, Dad. That is a surprise. Hey. And that’s wonderful. Hey, you can come in. Hey, if you need to, you can come and just take your daddy’s place once in a while. Well, I was gonna say. Well, hold on. Can I replace him? This has gotten Is that all right? Why do I have to leave just ’cause she’s here? I mean. I’m the younger generation. Yeah. More appealing, right? You know, hey, you don’t know yet, Link, but you know, grandparents, they love their children, but boy, they really love their grandchildren, so. Yeah, apparently, I’m no longer invited to this episode. Oh, yes you are. I’m gonna stick around if it’s okay with y’all. Hey, man, that’s a good surprise. How you doing, Lily? I’m doing good. How are you? I’m good. Are you out of school? I’m on a little break right now, so I came home for a little bit. Okay. So she came home last night and she was, she started hatching, she started pitching an idea to me. And I was like, “Listen, I’m not the one that needs to be pitched this idea ’cause I don’t have anything to do with it. This is a you and Granddaddy thing.” And then I was like, “You know what? We’re recording an episode tomorrow. If you’re really interested in making a proposal here, then you could do it directly on the show.” This is the time to do it. I’m telling you. Hey. And she didn’t hesitate. I need all the help I can get. You don’t even know what she’s asking though. Yeah, this is more putting you on the spot, you know. I’ll be all right. So Lily, you gotta tell him what you’re thinking. Well, you know, I came home last night and we were catching up, and I was catching up Dad and Mom on my life at school and my friends and my roommates. And being 21. You know, she’s 21 now. I did. I did just turn 21. You called me on my birthday, we talked. But I was telling my friends about you and Nana’s house in Myrtle Beach. And I was telling them about how you guys travel all the time and y’all are always on some adventure together. And we hatched a plan to offer to house sit for you guys. So you, hey. If you That’s gotta entail that you have to take care of Gypsy. Mm-hm. Oh, I know, I know. Don’t worry. I’m getting to that. Oh. Okay. But I was selling Myrtle Beach to a few of my friends. And we were talking about if y’all would be interested in us house sitting for you, if you were gonna go on a trip at some point. You know? Well, we’re gonna go on a trip at some point. Yeah. We’re gonna have to kind of work this out to make sure that you’re out of school where we can work it. The only thing I tell you, if you’re gonna come and house sit, we’re gonna leave you all the food and anything mostly that you need to eat or anything. But we ain’t gonna leave you whatever you want to drink. Y’all gotta take care of that yourselves. I think we’re totally fine with that. Listen, we’ll clean. We can cook for ourselves. We can buy you groceries before we leave. We can take care of Gypsy. And I don’t know, maybe we can drive the golf cart too. Oh, yeah. That ain’t a problem. You’re over 21. The thing that I told her after saying, “Well, you just need to take this up with Granddaddy.” The second thing that I said was, “House sitting? This is the angle that you’re using?” I thought that your first response was gonna be, “Well, y’all can come, but I’m still gonna be here ’cause I need to be-” Oh, no. “I need to be the one to show you the ropes, you know. Show you how to party in Myrtle Beach.” I thought you’d wanna be a part of the party. Oh, no. Hey. I can probably, y’all can come early enough before we go on a trip and I can carry you downtown dancing. Now, that would be fun. That would be fun. But the only thing we got to work out is, you know, I’m not buying all these plane tickets for you to come out here. Oh no. I’m sorry. No. Yeah, yeah. Y’all, you know. That was not a part of the plan. Granddaddy shoots pretty straight from the hip most of the, about all the time. Yeah. And just to let y’all know if y’all wanna, and I’m pretty sure that Nana’d be right on board with this. She’d be fine with it. Yeah? But I will run it by her a little bit. Okay. That’s good, Dad. But I think the best time, we’re gonna need to try to either take a trip when you’re out of school, but it would be nice, you know. June, July, August is when there’s a timeframe. Yeah. ‘Cause you know, the water is warm here. You can get into water- Oh, yeah. On the East coast. Oh, yeah. And go swimming and have a good time and drive the golf cart down there and take all the stuff with you and get on the beach and just have a big time. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we were thinking, we were thinking like next summer sort of thing. Oh, you’re talking next year? Mm-hm. Oh, this is gonna be a big party. You’re gonna plan it over a year in advance. Well, everybody’s got plans this summer. It’s, you know. Oh, okay. This is a new idea. So, you know, we wanna give you enough, I wanted to give you enough time to contemplate it, but. Didn’t seem like you needed to. And that’s good. We need to figure out a place that sometime in June or July that we wanna get away to and go to and, you know, we might do this where we’re gone just a week, then we’ll come back and we’ll have a big time for a week together, or four or five days together too. I told you. I told you he’d invite himself. No, no. I’m so down for that. I think I can speak for all of my friends when I say that we would be, we would also be down for that. Dad, are you concerned about how many friends she’s talking about? I mean, we could, for her 21st birthday, we had, like, upwards of 40, maybe 50 people there, so. It wouldn’t Now, we may have to do a little talking about that. You know, maybe four or five or something maybe like that. But not nothing overboard. You know, I don’t want 20 in here sleeping. What? I never go overboard. I’ve never gone overboard in my life ever. Okay. That’s good to hear. Yeah. I’m glad to know that. That’s good for you to hear. That’s right. What do your friends, like, what impression have you given them about Myrtle Beach? And what do they know? ‘Cause they’re all, like, West Coast people. Yeah, yeah. And New Jersey people. Well, eventually some of them are moving to New Jersey. Okay. But I don’t know. Well, I talked about Well, that, Lily, there’s a lot of them New Jersey people already down here, so. They’ll fit in? Yeah. Yeah. I mainly told them about, you know, the differences between the Atlantic and the Pacific Ocean, which is, I feel like the biggest one with how warm the water is. I’ve also talked about you and your cooking and your ice cream quite a bit as well. Oh. Oh. He needs to be there for that. Not saying that’s a requirement, but you know, I also Oh yeah. Well, if you come either then we’ll have, we can either make some strawberry or, time if you come then, them fresh peaches will be coming off, we can make some peach ice cream. Oh yeah. That’s my favorite. That’s my favorite. Maybe have some ribs with it. Oh, look at, she’s got a At first, it was like, “Hey, I’m gonna send you away and I’m gonna bring my friends to your house.” And now it’s, “But you’re gonna be the chef before you leave.” No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Listen, any way that this could also be a good time for you will be a good time for me. Oh, yeah. Ribs, homemade ice cream. You know Nana likes to cook too. And then, you know I like to cook and cook ribs and Yeah. Yeah. See? You’re trying to make it seem like I’m trying to exploit him. Well, I do that too. It’s fine. Have you ever listened to this podcast? I might have to invite myself. You wanna come? Next summer, I think I’m gonna be- I don’t know if I want you to come. I think I’m gonna be in Iceland. You’re gonna, what? I don’t know. I’m just thinking. Did you say Iceland? Iceland. Why? I don’t know. I just, I like the idea of it. Well, hey, you know, that sounds like- Why you go back to New Zealand? Lily and them can come here and Nancy and I can go with you and Christy to Iceland. Well, you might need to come to my house and house sit. Lily goes to your house and house sits and I go to Iceland. Yeah. That ain’t going to happen. Okay. Well, see. He’s direct. That doesn’t sound like a vacation for you, huh? Hmm. The Hard Rock Cafe is still there, right? Like, the big pyramid. You could take all your friends to that. Yes. They would love that. It’s a restaurant shaped like a pyramid. Wow. Yeah. Yeah, we can put that on the roster. Hey, I got a lot better. I was talking about the mini golf courses. I got a lot better places to take you than the Hard Rock Cafe. Yeah, that’s why I’m asking you to be a part of this and not him. Okay. I’ll be in Iceland. It’s fine. What do you know about Iceland? Well, it’s greener than Greenland. Yeah, that’s the thing that everybody- A lot of movies are filmed there. Knows about it. Yeah, that’s true. You can hike on a glacier. We’ll be talking. And Nancy always asks me about “What’d y’all talk about on the podcast today?” And I’ll say, “You ain’t gonna believe this, but Lily showed up on the podcast today and this is what she wants to do. And some of her friends come and house sit for us and keep Gypsy.” Hey, that was one of the reasons we built this house down here was to have family come down here and spend time with us. So this is right what we did it for. What did your friends say when you were, like, hatching this idea? Well, it wasn’t all my idea. They kind of, I was talking about how I wanted to go back at some point. And I was, you know, giving them some insight into what it’s like in Myrtle Beach. Oh, okay. ‘Cause, you know, they don’t listen to the podcast. So I had to tell them. You gonna have to tell them they gonna have to start listening if they want to come out here and stay. I’ll tell them. It’ll be a requirement. Tell them that’s the stipulation. That’s right. Yeah. What are you getting out of this? And what am I getting out of this? I think that’s where we’re at in this conversation. I like it, Dad. That’s right. Why do you need to get something out of it? Well, ’cause I’m the matchmaker here. I put the two of y’all together. So, what do I get out of this? I mean. Listen, all I’m gonna say is I was just gonna call you. Okay. And he said I’m getting something out of it right now. He said, “Why don’t you come and ask him on the podcast?” That’s true. That’s true. I’m getting something out of it. So, now I’m here. So he gets to, y’all get to put it on the internet, I guess, so. Yeah. Yeah, you do know that is going on the internet. So, Lily- I’m aware. It’s me and you now. Okay. It’s me and you now. I’m gonna be quiet. I’ll go out. All right. And Nana. Yeah. Go ahead. No, I mean, in the next year or so, it’s just me and you planning. It sounds like your dad’s already done got all his plans, so. I’m not invited. I did say you could come hesitantly. Right. I mean, at first, you weren’t invited either, Dad. That’s not entirely true. Okay. Okay. All right. That’s not entirely true, but- Okay. I have a question. I have a question. Is there still a Corvette there? Yes, there is. That’s interesting. That’s very interesting. But that’s a whole different ballpark. ‘Cause that’s Nana’s Corvette, so you’ll have to talk to her. Maybe if you guys were gonna be there for a few days, you know, she could take me for a ride in the Corvette or something. Oh, yeah, we can do that. Maybe let me drive on a side street or something where it’s very safe. Oh, yeah, we could do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then leave the keys when they go on their No, no, no, no, no. Okay. Never. Did you know that Mythical has a coloring book? 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For a limited time, Dispatches from Myrtle Beach listeners can get Rosetta Stone’s lifetime membership for 50% off. Visit rosettastone.com/dispatches. That’s 50% off unlimited access to 25 language courses for the rest of your life. Redeem your 50% off at rosettastone.com/dispatches today. Being as Lily has crashed our episode today, is there anything you still wanna tackle? I mean, what did you have planned? Where do we go from here? Well, I don’t, she can sit in and look and she might learn something about Granddaddy that she didn’t know. All right, let’s do it. Y’all been out there so long you don’t understand Southern anymore? Link, we’re gonna do the Southern Slang Game, the Southern Slang Game again today. And I’m gonna give you some clues- Okay. And see if you can guess what these sayings are. Okay. Now, I mean, I grew up in the South. I don’t know, do you even consider yourself a Southerner, Lily? I do a little bit. Well, I was gonna ask, do you want me to guess also or do you just want me to I want you to guess instead of me. Instead of you? I’ll be your advisor. Okay. Well, I consider myself a little bit of a Southerner. I’ve been told that I get a little bit of an accent sometimes when I say certain things or when I get off the phone with either- With talking to me. You guys, when talking to you. Or when I’m just talking to Mom. Yeah. Yeah. They’re like, “I can tell you were talking to your mom because you sound a little bit Southern.” And some of my friends that I’ve made are also from the South. So we kind of feed off of each other with our little accents, and they just kind of build until we both are a little more Southern than we started out. All right. Well, then let’s get to it, Daddy. Well, the first one I’m gonna give you has got something to do with poor workmanship. Poor workmanship. And I’m gonna give you another little hint. It’s got the word bear in it and fiddle. The saying it is. So, okay. I guess you can make the rules. Just tell us every word that’s in it, Dad. I mean, you can scramble them up if you want to and make it easy to start out with. Bear and fiddle? And poor workmanship. This is about as bad as a fiddle made by a bear. Oh no. Give us a scenario. It’s probably something like if a bear were trying to play a fiddle. Like, he probably wouldn’t be very good at it. Yeah, use it in a sentence. No, that ain’t got nothing. I’m sorry, Lily. No? No? All right. Use it. No. But it is like if you’re doing something and you just miss the whole mark with what you’re doing, you would say this slang word, this saying. It’s about as good as a- I have no idea. I gave my best guess. A bear playing a fiddle. Well, yeah, that’s what I said. He said that was wrong. Well, the say, I’m just gonna tell you. Okay. You couldn’t hit a bear in the ass with a bass fiddle. You couldn’t hit a bear in the ass with a bass fiddle. I mean you can’t find, I think I told Logan, you can’t find your way in and out of anywhere that you need to go with what you’re trying to accomplish because you ain’t got enough sense to do it. So you couldn’t hit a bear in the ass with a bass fiddle. These are very long sayings. Yeah. Well, that’s good. You know, you start it and it gets everyone’s attention and then they’re still listening and there you go. And you’re just waiting for it to end. It’s a story. No, you’re not waiting for a to end. You’re on the edge of your seat. Oh, what? So you’re telling me- Yeah, that’s what I meant. You’re implying that it’s easy for a normal person to hit a bear in the ass with a bass fiddle? No, it wouldn’t be easy. No, it wouldn’t be. But it’s just a saying that if you were gonna try to do it, it’d be something you couldn’t do to start with. Yeah, ’cause that’s really difficult. Obviously. Well, a bass fiddle is bigger than a normal fiddle. It’s easier hit a bear- Oh, yeah. In the ass. But have you ever seen how big a bear is? Actually, yes. That was a small bear. Yeah. It was big enough. He’s seen one up close. I think it would be easy- Yeah, so have I. I was there. To hit a bear in the ass with a bass fiddle. And I think if you can’t do it, it means you can’t do anything. ‘Cause that’s one of the easiest things to do. I think you’re just- Oh. Butt hurt because you couldn’t guess it, so now you’re trying to- I’m not butt hurt. You’re trying to say that the meaning- If I were a bear- You’re trying to say that the saying is stupid. If I were the bear that got hit in the ass with a bass fiddle, then I would be butt hurt. Okay, next one. Okay. We done with bear in the ass with a bass fiddle. We’re gonna go to the next one. Okay. Lily, this has got something to do if you wanna get ready and go out and you’re primping and getting everything ready and what kind of, you know, and you tell somebody, “Well, I’m doing this. I’m getting all ready, and I’m getting all ready to go out dancing and then have a good time tonight and putting these nice clothes on and everything.” So what are you doing? Mm. I know it. You know it? Yeah. I mean, what do you say when you’re getting ready? I say I’m getting ready, but I’m trying to think of like, what is it like? Gussied up. Minnie Pearl used to say it. Is that what it is? I don’t know. That’s my guess. I was gonna say powder my nose, but I feel like that’s like. No, that’s just going to the bathroom. Yeah, that’s like just going to, like, fix it. You couldn’t hit a bear in the ass with a bass fiddle. Oh my God, we were supposed to move on from that one. Say my answer. I couldn’t even hear. Well, take. Here. You just say it. No, I want you to say it. I want you to get the credit. Gussied up. Gussied up. That’s it. I got it. Oh, you got it. You did it. I got it. All right, let’s do another one. Okay. I have never heard that before. Yeah, I’m getting gussied up. I’ve never heard that before. You know, if you wanna look like Gus, you gotta get gussied up. Who’s Gus? Okay. He looks real good. Sure. I’m pretty sure you probably don’t, you’re not old enough. You’d have to go back and Google it, Lily, but Minnie Pearl used to say this on the Grand Ole Opry. Said, “I had to get, I get gussied up to come out here.” And she’d wear that dress with the tag still on it. Howdy. That’s right. That’s it. That’s what she would say, Lily. Well, the next one is- You’re too young for that. If you get, I gotta think about this. Think about it now. If you’re real happy about something and you’re tickled to death that you did something, and when you got through doing this, you’d be kind of smiling at what you did. Y’all ain’t gonna get this one. So you’re proud of yourself? Yeah. See, I would’ve said So you’re, like, smug? If you didn’t say tickled to death, I would’ve thought it was tickled to death. Have you had, and I’m gonna give you one word that’s in this thing, and it’s possum. Is it playing possum? No. Is it? That would be like playing dead. That doesn’t make sense. No, but is the words playing possum part of it? No, I said like smiling. What’s the word that goes with smiling? Oh. Grinning. Oh, yes. I know this one. Grinning like A possum. Yes. Two more words. Just one. Yeah, two. Two. I don’t know. A verb and noun. Grinning like a, you’ve probably heard me say this. This is one of my favorites. Dad, I’m sure you taught me this. Probably. I didn’t even think you knew what a possum was. And now I’m gonna, I know what a possum is. And then now I’m gonna teach you, so. Grinning like a possum. Eating shit. Oh, that’s it. Oh. Yeah, no, I would not have gotten that. ‘Cause a possum will eat anything. And he’ll grin while he’s doing it? Yep. He’ll grin while he’s doing it. Grinning like a possum eating shit. That’s pretty scary. They have a pretty scary face. Yeah. You see, I mean I’ve, ’cause they will play dead and they’ll be like. Oh yeah. And then you can just go and you can pick them up. Yeah. You ever picked up a possum? Have you? No. No, I’ve not. No. I’m surprised you haven’t done that. Most times you pick one up, they’ll scratch you and don’t like it. No, they stay dead. They just stay frozen. I’d rather not test that theory. They’re petrified. You ever fed a possum shit? No. No, they just find it for theirself. And then they like it, apparently. Yeah, they’ll eat most anything. That’s a good one though. I mean, you can break that one out. I got one word. Yeah, grinning. I got one word. You can break that one out with your friends when you bring them to Myrtle Beach. When you tell them- They’ll regret coming. When you tell them, “Hey, I talked to, I talked to Granddaddy. He said 2025, y’all can come out.” No, I’m gonna call them after this. Actually, should I call them or should I just send them the episode when it comes out? Whatever you wanna do. You can then report to Granddaddy, “I told my friends that you said they could come and they were” Grinning like a possum- Grinning like a possum- Eating shit. Eating shit Yes. Oh, I could. Wow. See? It’s a good one. Well, I feel like It kind of rolls off the tongue. Grinning like a possum eating shit. It just kind of . I feel like if I’m gonna report back to you, I’m gonna have to come back on the podcast. Yeah, you’re welcome. Yeah, that’s fine. And tell you on the podcast. Oh, yeah. Well, you can’t keep missing class though. Well, we got I’m not missing class. I don’t even have class today. Okay. All right, we got to moving along. Okay. We got another one here. And this is about if you get in a difficult situation, and you’re doing something and you just come to knowing about it and how do you feel about what you’re trying to get to in that situation? He’s not making this easy. That you’re out of luck. So this is when you’re caught. I’m gonna give you the first word. Okay. Up. Oh. Okay. So, you know this one. No. If you’re up. All right, give it a Do you know what it is? Yes, I know it. What’s the second word? Yeah, what’s the second word? Dad, what’s the second word? The. Up the. I would say the, but could be the. Up the, up the. If you’re basically screwed. There’s no way out of this situation. You’re in a bad predicament. I did not study for this, so I You grew up with me. I’ve said it a few times. Yeah, but I don’t think about it in the, I don’t know. All right. Come on, Lily. You can get this one. It’s a body of water. Up the. A small body of water. Stream. Kinda like that. Creek. Yes. Up the creek. So if you’re up the creek. Uh-huh. What do you need in a boat? What do you need in a boat if you’re Oh, up the creek, like, without a paddle or something. Is that it? That’s it. That’s it? That’s it. Yes. But I mean, Cypress Hill did say, “I’m headed up the river with a boat, in a boat with no paddle.” So they said river, but they’re not Southern. They’re more of like a LA gangster. So that’s like their version of it. Okay. Up the creek without a paddle. That’s a good one. And some people would say “Up shit’s creek”, which then became a television show. Mm-hm. I have not seen it. That Lando and Christy watch. Yeah. I don’t. No. I wasn’t in that party. It’s okay, we have our own show that we watch. Okay, we’ve got one more, and this “Better call Saul”. We gotta get back to that. Have you seen that, Granddaddy? We’re never gonna finish it. You’ll have to get, you’ll have to go way back in time with this one. Like when I was a little boy growing up. And it’s got something to do with an animal and after something happens to it, it kind of just goes crazy and does stuff, and then it’s just acting frantically and it’s without control. Chicken with his head cut off. That’s, running around with a chicken with his head cut off. Like a chicken with its head cut off. Yeah. You nailed it. Look at that. Is that the last one ’cause I got it. She needs it. That’s the last one. She needs to go out of here feeling good about herself. We gotta send her back to college. I think she does well enough. She knows when she’s gotta go to school. Yeah. Well, Lily, this has been a great time today. And it was fun having all the Myrtle Beach here with us, but you here with me today too. Oh, thanks. And we’ll be back next week for another one. And don’t forget to follow and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts and on YouTube. And while you’re at it, rate and review us on Apple Podcasts. You gonna write a review? And if you got a question, comment, or story you’d like to share with me, email me at ratherbeshagging53@aol.com. And y’all have a great rest of the week. And we can’t wait to make you grin like a possum eating shit again next time. That’s right. So you get back with me and talk to your friends. And I love you and I hope to get to see you again. I love you too. Me too. Me too. Good work. Love you, Dad. Love you too.