This is “Dispatches from Myrtle Beach” with Charles Neal, and my son Link from “Good Mythical Morning.” How you doing, Link? I’m doing good, father! How are you? Oh, I’m doing pretty good. Doing good, yeah. Well, you had to think about it. Just been pludging along and just doing. We getting into June now. Same old thing. Yep. Yeah. It’s happening. How’s Nancy doing? Nancy’s doing really good. Doing really good. As a matter of fact, she was concerned about some stuff, and she went to our regular doctor down here, and he eased her mind and everything about what’s going on with her. Told her that she didn’t need to worry about some of the things she was. Of course all of ’em going to tell you to try to get your cholesterol down, but, you know, everything’s good with Nancy. I’ll tell her you asked. Okay, good. So, you know, the doctor’s telling me that my cholesterol is elevated. It’s been that way for two years, and we’ve talked about this, right? Your cholesterol is historically elevated. Oh yeah, anywhere from probably as lowest I ever had in mine was 189, and then it’s usually about 220. I can’t quote the numbers for myself. I just can’t remember that type of stuff, but there is a genetic component to it. Are you on something to cholesterol medication? I tried to take something again and it made my legs, and hips, and bones and everything hurts so bad, and I told that doctor I’d try. I’m gonna try to get him to put me on that stuff that Aunt Teese is on where you just take a shot twice a month to help with it, but don’t know if I’m gonna do that or not because hey, with our hereditary stuff with your granddaddy and my daddy, and my daddy stayed about 300 all the time. Really? I mean, yep. So, and he lived to be 89. Okay. And the cholesterol didn’t kill him, it was something else in his eyesight where he just got you knew all about that, but yeah. Yep. Okay. So I don’t worry about mine too bad, and Nancy’s not having to worry about her as much, but listen, happy Father’s Day. Coming up this Sunday. Happy Father’s Day. About right back at you. Look at us. Happy Father’s Day to us, but I read it because it’s close to Father’s Day, Happy Dispatch’s two year anniversary. Can you believe it? We’ve been doing this two years? No, I can’t believe it. Hey. Time flies when you’re having fun. That’s exactly right, yeah, yeah. Hey, we still having fun and- Logan’s still putting up with us. I sure am. Yeah. Especially you, dad. Yeah, especially me. Yeah, because I’m not telling you I’m sending her a check, you know, for some of the stuff she’s helped me with. So you don’t have to worry about paying her. She’s gonna double dip. I love how you’re like, I’m not telling you and then you proceed to tell me something. Okay. Yeah. I swear I don’t know about this. Look, y’all got a deal worked out on the side. What else are you doing for him? Computer tech? Yeah, you know, Squarespace, Venmo. You set up a web. Or Square that credit card thing. Okay, the Square payments. Yeah. And we recently changed his email password. We’ve done a lot of stuff. Changed your email password. Yeah. All right, well good. Well, she helped me get set up to take my real estate course for this year so I knew it would when I could just come in and hit a button on the computer. Wow. Logan. I know. I need to pay her ’cause you not burdening me with this tech stuff. I ain’t got time to help you set up some sort of real estate license thing. No, you don’t have time for it. I question whether my employee Logan does, but okay. Hey, wait, hold on a minute. I called her after five o’clock your time. Oh, so Logan gets off at five o’clock? Ain’t nobody get off at five o’clock. Everybody gets off at six o’clock. Whenever she’s supposed to be off that’s when I called her. Okay. Hey. We should move on ’cause it’s getting fishy. She took a break. She took a break and went to lunch when she was helping me. Okay, all right. I appreciate it. Am I getting worse, Logan? No, never. Two years seems like a long time for some of us. Well, congratulations on two years, You know, Link you make me very proud of being your father, and being it’s Father’s Day this weekend. You know, some people, some people can’t say that about the children and different stuff. No, I can’t say it about mine. Just kidding. I’m very proud to be a father of my children who are getting more and more adult every time I turn around. But a word about you, dad. I’m glad that you are my father. You know, the fact that we get to connect and like, we’re on the same wavelength, you know, the fact that we can do this show for two years, and the time is flying because we are legitimately having fun. You know, it’s added this facet to our relationship that I value so much, and, you know, we say it at the end of every episode, but, you know, I love you and I know that you love me and I think that, you know, even though we’re on opposite coast, largely because of this show, we’re able to be so connected and I value that so much ’cause I’ve learned so much about you. You know, it’s a lot of people that it’s hard to find occasion. There’s been a lot of people that learn stuff about me. Yeah, that’s true. It’s hard to find an occasion where you can learn as much as we’ve learned about each other. So it’s really cool to have this podcast which makes that happen and that we want to, you know? Oh, yeah. We’re just as much friends as we are father and son at this point, and that says a lot to the type of guy you are. So I’m very grateful for you. Yeah, you too. I mean, it is twofold for me ’cause like you say, you living on the west coast and then sometimes you surprise me with one of my grandchildren on the show. I get to see them and get to do stuff, and I mean, who would’ve thunk it? Who would’ve thunk it? That my son called me one day and asked me about doing this, and we’re still doing it two years later, so. Yep. That’s a pretty good Father’s Day anniversary and all about everything that goes on, so yeah, makes it pretty neat, and I mean, we’ve been doing it for two years and I think we’ve made a lot of people laugh, and probably some cry. I hope so a little bit. Things that goes on, and we’ve done some things where people send in the questions at ratherbshaggin53@aol.com that, you know, tried to help them out too. So it’s been a pretty good experience for me and, you know, so I’ve enjoyed it, and this is like you say, I get to see you at least a couple of times a month or so. Well, we can’t touch one another, but we can see and talk back and forth, so it’s been a great two years. Yep, I concur. Okay, Link, in the spirit of Father’s Day and our anniversary. Yes. It’s time for some dad jokes. Yes! It’s been a while. Let’s get into. Says, how many telemarketers does it take to change a light bulb? How many telemarketers does it take to change the light bulb? So I bet this is one of those where it takes, well, it takes one to so and so. It takes one to answer the phone, and one to I know that they have like a script that telemarketers follow. One to read the script and then the punchline. Well, you getting pretty close. I’m getting there? Okay. Yeah. Telemarketers, what’s something funny about telemarketers? Hold on, telemarketers change a light bulb. I’m talking about telemarketers telemarketing. That’s not getting me anywhere. So you said I was getting somewhere, but I’m not getting closer to a light bulb. Well, you are ’cause you- One to answer the phone, one to read the script, and one to change the light bulb? Well, you were pretty close. It says it just takes only one, like you said, but they had to do it while eating dinner. How many telemarketers does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but they have to do it while they’re eating dinner. Yep. That’s not right. It can’t be. Read it again. Logan says read it again. Oh, I’m sorry. Yeah. Only one, but they have to do it while you’re eating dinner. Because telemarketers call you while you’re eating dinner. Yeah. I don’t have telemarketers calling me ’cause I don’t have a phone. I mean, I have a cell phone, but I’m on the do not freaking call list or whatever. I don’t put my cell phone out there. Do you get telemarketers? A little bit, but not like I used to. Okay, ’cause I think we talk about this on the show and everyone’s like, we gotta put you on the do not call list, and then maybe you paid Logan on the side to do that or something. I don’t know. No. All right, gimme another one. Okay, maybe I should have stretched. I just tried to get a cramp before we did the show. It says I was addicted to hokey pokey. I don’t know if I understand this one, Logan. Just read it to him. The whole thing? Mm-hmm. I was addicted to hokey pokey, but I turned myself around. Can you explain that one to me, dad? Well, when you do the hokey pokey and you doing the dance, and you do the hokey pokey, then you do it to the right, and you do it to the left, and you stomp one foot, and you stomp one foot and you turn yourself around. You never did the hokey pokey? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You turn yourself around. So that was the joke? You were addicted to it, but you turn yourself around. Which is- Yeah. I don’t do it as much as I used to. But hold on, dad, if you turn yourself around, that’s part of the hokey pokey. That’s correct. So how could you break your addiction to something by doing it? Well, we still do that. When we dancing down here at the beach and they play it sometimes with a kind of a different kind of song and we still dance and do it so I reckon I’m still addicted to it. Exactly. How do you know you’re not addicted to something? You make yourself not do it no more, I guess. You turn yourself around. Got you with your own joke! Kinda, I don’t know what just happened. It seemed like it had the cadence of being funny though. Okay, you got another one? This is good. Dad jokes alert! Yeah, I got another one. A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. How does that happen, dad? How does a ham sandwich walk, period? I don’t know, but it says, the bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve food here.” Because can you explain it to me? Well, I think you probably get this one with a education like you got, but a sandwich is something you eat. It’s not a person. So, you know, they don’t see you because it’s a sandwich, they say we don’t serve food here. You’re not a person. Right. Right. When you don’t serve food, it means you don’t give people food, but serving food also means that you don’t give food what it wants. I guess so. Don’t overthink it. Is that what you’re saying? I mean- Am I trying too hard? How can a ham sandwich walk in to a bar anyway? Exactly, that’s what I said a minute ago, dad. I totally agree. You lost me there. But I mean, it must have been thirsty ’cause he ordered a beer. Right. Might have been going to dunk himself in it and then eat himself. Can’t never tell. Yeah, yeah, this is very getting very cinematic. This could be a whole movie. The walking ham sandwich. Well, there’s some things I’ve seen on TV that’s as strange as a ham sandwich walking in with what’s going on. Well. Don’t get political. No, I’m not going there. Okay. All right. This show is sponsored by Better Help. This year has already gone by so quickly. What’s something you’re proud of in 2024 so far, or something you still want to accomplish this year? When life goes so fast, it’s important to take a moment to celebrate your wins and make adjustments for the rest of the year. Therapy can help you take stock of your progress and set achievable goals for the next six months, and I’d just like you to know that Better Help is a great way for you to be able to talk to a therapist, and if you’ve got something you need to talk to ’em about, when we talked about things going on for the year 2024 so far and you wanna make plans for something else, they’d be a great help to be able to help you do that and figure out what you wanna do and how you wanna set your boundaries, and what empowers you to be the best version of yourself and achieve your goals. 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Unleash your legendary style with the line of Mythical Grooming and Personal Care products. The collection features items for the hair on your face, hair on your head, and for everything else. Available now at mythical.com. It’s time for the Belch Life Bulletin. I’ve gotten two very interesting emails involving seeing and hearing creatures in North and South Carolina. This is from North- Seeing and hearing creatures? Yep. Yeah. Okay. And it is from Jordan Westenberg. “On my drive home from work, I saw something absolutely unbelievable. A pretty big creature flew over my SUV. At first I thought it was a vulture, but I turned and looked and it had no feathers. It was grayish green and had bat-like wings and a long lizard tail, as well as scales on its neck. Immediately it made me go wild, and with researching I found that there has been a decent amount of reports of people seeing flying dinosaur-like creatures similar to Petrosauruses all over North Carolina. What is a Petrosaurus? I ain’t got the slightest idea. You’re talking about a Pterodactyl? It just says Petrosaurus. Is that how you say it, Petrosaurus? Pterosaurs. Oh, the P is silent. Like a Pterodactyl starts with a P too. Oh, okay. But his asked me, he said, “Have you ever seen anything like this?” Have you ever seen a Petrosaurus? I don’t know. I think you would know if you’ve seen one. No, I guess so. Jordan’s trying to help me see one but, you know, the first thing I thought about Jordan driving home, you know, Jordan, you ain’t supposed to be driving while drinking. That’s right. When you’re seeing visions of these things, Lord have mercy. Oh yeah. On something. It might not be drinking, maybe who knows what it is? This was in the News Observer in Raleigh. You knew all about them because you’ve done commercials, done a pillow thing with ’em that you had on there. Well, they wrote a article about me. Yeah, you and Rhett. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. But one woman says she’s seen them three times. In North Carolina? In North Carolina up around Raleigh. Hey, I’m wondering if somebody’s got one of them drones all fixed up and got ’em look like something, and they’re swooping down and going all over somebody’s cars and they think there’s Pterosaurs. Whatever you’ve been seeing- It ain’t it, that’s what we’re saying. Whatever you think you’re seeing, it ain’t that. Dad, I’m with you on this. It’s probably some sort of a drone mixed with some sort of drug concoction, you know? I mean, in this day and age, you can’t see anything and be the only one who sees it. Everybody’s got a camera at the ready, you know, everybody’s just filming constantly anyway. Like, people’s dash cams are just constantly filming. If there’s Pterodactyl flying around Raleigh, North Carolina, or a Pterosaurus, or a Paradactyl, I don’t know whatever you wanna call it. Why are they even writing about this in The News & Observer? What section is this under? That woman that said she’s seen ’em three times. Oh Lord, we might need to send somebody check. Have what she’s having, you know? Yeah, well, you need to send us in and tell us what you’re having so we can might see a Pterosaur. I mean, I’m trying to think is there anything… I mean, I remember going like in my younger days, walking past a pond and seeing something that looked like dinosauric, you know? But then I’m pretty sure like you can get some snapping turtles that look like dinosaurs and they can be huge, right? Oh yeah, yeah. They can be. I’m pretty sure that’s what I’ve seen, but I mean, I didn’t lose any sleepover and I definitely didn’t call the paper. Yeah, I mean, an unidentified flying reptile. That’s what I mean. I mean, this is 2024. You know, these things have been extinct for millions of years. That’s right. And I got one from Jason, and Jason Hammond and said, “I saw this article and wondered if you had been hearing the cicadas around your house?” Well, what’s the article? Well, the article is, is that a siren, or is that a siren or a cicada? Police in South Carolina say they’ve gotten lots of confused calls. It says the cicada… Good God. Cicada. You getting hung up, but I need to provide a point of clarification for our- Okay. Our Myrtle beasts. If they’re not from the south, you were speaking a little southern there when you read that title. Read it one more time. Is that a siren or a cicada? Okay. Yeah. The S word. The S word. Can you help people understand what that is? ‘Cause I think some people might not understand what you mean when you’re saying the S word there. Siren, that’s when you look up in your rear view mirror and they got a thing going whoop, whoop, whoop with the flashing lights, and they turn the siren on on the police car. That’s what the siren is. I think some people pronounce that. From personal experience, I know exactly what that sounds like. Been a long time, but- It’s been a long time. We ain’t going there. But I think that there’s a lot of people who they pronounce that differently and I just wanted to make sure they knew what you were saying. How in the world would you pronounce siren a different way? Hit me with it. Siren, some people say siren. Oh my God. No. That dog won’t hunt. Hey, I’m with you dad. Siren, you know, grab some of my skin and gimme a nice pinch ’cause I’m hearing a siren. All right, go ahead. Is that a siren or a cicada? You say cicada right. I mean, that’s not an easy word to say. I mean, but we know a lot about cicadas. Oh yeah. Well, you know, it’s been a pretty interesting year with cicadas because, you know, they have some that come out every 13 years, and they have some that come out every 17 years. Right. Logan’s got all this stuff on there that I don’t care nothing. One’s called a brood 13, one called a 14. Right, right, right. But, you know, but then this year is coinciding with some that’s coming out, and they’re not really in the south. They’re more up towards the news, but they’re coming out 70 years. Where both of ’em are coming out at the same time. Yeah. So people are thinking that the cicadas are sirens? That’s what they call. We haven’t had it, and I don’t know if it’s because I live close to the ocean and there’s not as many. Cicadas and stuff go where there’s a lot of trees and stuff to eat, and all that kind of stuff. But, you know, when I live back in North Carolina, it can be a pretty annoying sound. Every night. It’s usually at night. Every night. In Newbury County, residents are calling authorities to complain that the influx of cicadas is so loud that it mimics a noise in the air that sounds like a siren, or a whine, or a roar. But dad, I mean, I know,- But I think this is in, I didn’t say that yet. For the first time in 221 years, the two broods will be above ground at the same time, and the groups will also overlap geographically. But I know what a cicada sounds like. I mean, I don’t think it sounds like a siren. Give me your impression of a cicada. Well. Oh, okay, sound more like a war cry. But I think its more like, . it’s like, it’s percussive. It’s like the wings flapping or something. It’s like . Maybe it is . They make a funny. It’s kind of amazing that’s what happen when they do get the flapping the wings back and forth, and that’s what makes that noise that everybody’s hearing and when you got millions and millions of ’em doing it, but, you know, it’s just something. I’m sorry, but- You got to know what a cicada sounds like. If you’re living in the south. Hey. Or wherever they are, they’re all over the place. Oh yeah, they’re up north. I mean, they’re everywhere. I mean, but, you know, I’ve known what a cicada was since I was about about four or five. Used to pick ’em up. Some folk a little late to the game. People think they’re dangerous or something. They ain’t a bit of danger and when they die and fall to the ground, they’re really good fertilizer for the ground. So they do a lot of good, but they don’t make do a lot of good when they’re making all that noise for you people out there. Yeah, and they will shed their exoskeleton, and it will be like stuck to the side of a tree. Oh, yeah. And they burst out of it. I remember finding those as a kid on the pine trees at Nana and Papa’s house. Oh yeah. And it was just look like this gross translucent bug, and then I realized it was just, it just shed that thing. It’s like crispy, crispy. So I guess all you people in South Carolina that’s having trouble with these cicadas, you just gonna have to make it through the rest of the year, and then you probably not gonna have to worry about it again for about 13 more years or so. Yeah, and then it won’t be as bad even then. No, not as bad, but, you know, don’t be calling the police just called you hear a funny sound outside. They got a lot of other good things they need to be doing. Right. Right, when’s the last time you called the police? I don’t know if I’ve ever called the police. They called ’em on me though. Right, right. But, you know, my daddy and your Papa was a policeman and a chief of police, and he’d probably laugh at something like this, that people’s calling the police ’cause of these cicadas. He’d probably get a laugh out of it. That’s true. Man, look, we had a real zoo of a day today. Even bringing all types of flying creatures, insects, sirens. Sirens. Some good jokes too, dad. Yeah, well, you know, we try to keep getting these Myrtle beasts to tell more people about us and listen so they can get on the podcast and on the YouTube and listen, but, you know, that’s what we’re trying to do. We’ve been doing it over two years now. That’s it. So we’ll keep going. We’re veterans at this point. So listen, listen, Link, it was fun having you all here with us today, and we’ll be back next week for another one. And don’t forget to follow and subscribe wherever you get your podcast, and on YouTube. And while you’re at it, rate and review us on Apple Podcast. And if you got a question, comment a story you’d like to share with me. Email me at ratherbshaggin53@aol.com, and y’all have a great next of the week and we can’t wait to dazzle your dreams again next time, and call you in about a cicada. All right, dazzling your dreams, dad. Happy dad’s day, everybody. Love you. Love you too, dad.