EB 116: Our Scariest Horror Movie Experiences

Welcome to Ear Biscuits. It’s got a little leak. You didn’t like that. – No, you usually say, “I’m Link.” – Oh. (laughs) – It’s funny– – I’m not a creature of habit. – It’s funny how many times. I mean, it’s a pretty simple thing. – Just go with it. – The guy who starts just says, “Welcome to Ear Biscuits. “I’m,” whatever my name is. – I’m not a creature of habit. I don’t like to do– – It’s really unusual that you’re the one that this is happening to. – Yeah. – You’re Link, which you ended up saying leak, which a lot of people think your name is Leak. Sprung a little leak, or whatever you said. A lot of people think your name is Leak. No, I said sprung a little Link. – Oh, you did? – No. – Because when you go to Starbucks, don’t they think a lot of times it’s Leak? – Yes, Rhett. This is a sore subject. No. – Well, just the other day– – I guess so, yeah. – Just the other day– – Leak. – When we went to Starbucks– – Lank. – With our wives, remember this? – Oh, yeah. (laughs) – And my wife, whose name is Jessie, said, she was like what’s your name, and she said “Jessie” and she was like “that’s a cute name” and I was like, what, hold on, she said “Jessie.” – No, you didn’t say it to the barista, you turned around and you said it to me and Christy. You were like– – I was like, this girl thinks Jessie is a cute name, she must not be from America. (they laugh) And then we got the cup and it was, what had she written? – I was trying to go in the bathroom. – It was like– – Which doesn’t happen on Hollywood Boulevard, so I just waited outside of the bathroom for a long time and then came back. – Yessie or Jacksie or something like that. – It was Jacksie. – Jacksie? She thought she said “Jacksie,” which would be a cute name. Anyway, my name is Rhett. – But Jessie not? – This week at the table of down. (laughs) – Down pillows, man we are really hurtin’ tonight, y’all. – This week at the round table of dim lighting, it’s your boys. Your boys are gonna talk to each other about horror movies. (Link laughs) We feel a little bit differently about them. We have some different experiences, and interestingly, one of our first ever horror movie experiences was together. – It’s actually not very interesting. I think they would expect that. – Oh, okay. – But I our perspective on it, I don’t, I don’t know your perspective so I’m interested to hear that. – You don’t know my perspective? – On that, specifically. – Oh, on the past? – Yeah, on many other things you’ve regaled me with your perspective to no end, but on that first night or horror-ness, I’ve avoided ever talking about it. – Well we’re gonna talk about it tonight, I’m gonna open up some wounds. – Oh, yeah, and um. – Some chainsaw wounds. (gasps) – We go deep, this is gonna become a psychological thriller podcast. We’re gonna talk about that, we’re gonna bare our souls. I had a bad dream last night. – Uh-oh. – I never have these type of dreams, snake. – You never have bad dreams? – Snake dreams. – Oh, I have a recurring snake dream. – And I don’t have one. – And your wife does as well? – She does, yeah. – And you got it, you caught it, it is like a virus. – I’m so afraid of snakes in real life that they need not make their way into my dreams. And, ya know, on GMM, I conquered my fear by self-talking, which I did not access that ability in the dream. When I was swimming in a tributary to like the Amazon River in nothing but like trunks. – Yeah, swimming in tributaries is a thing that happens in dreams. – And I was swimming in it and there was like a jungle around me and then I saw this snake swimming right towards me. – It’s a sea snake? – It was like an anaconda, dude, it was huge. It was like a 20-foot snake with a head the size of a basketball. – Mm. – And it swam up to me, swam kind of around me, and I didn’t panic, and I kept swimming and it was swimming around me and then I finally got to like this overlook, even though I was still swimming, but I wasn’t about to go off a waterfall, and I saw you down there getting in a little kiddie boat. – Yeah, I was in the sea canyon. – It was like a kiddie ride with Locke and Lincoln. You were like ushering them onto a kiddie boat ride and the three of you were– – An undersea kiddie boat ride? – No, it was just down over a cliff and you were down there. – The laws of physics have been suspended in your dream. – They were never there. – Okay. – To be suspended. – Right. – Um, so, I’m already tapping into a few fears. I might as well go all the way. – What are you about to talk about? – Just lay bare my soul, or at least my, you know, talk about the big decision I’ve made. I’m second-guessing it. – You’re second-guessing the decision or second-guessing talking about it. – Talking about it. – Well you have to talk about it. – I know, now that I’ve said I’m gonna talk about it, because I know we talked about me talking about it. – But everyone’s going to talk about it. You don’t have a choice. – And because everybody, you know, whenever you change something about your appearance and you’re me or you, you know everybody’s gonna talk about it so you’re gonna, you just need to go ahead and get ahead of it, and it may be too late. – It’s a little too late to be ahead of it, but you’re kinda just getting in sync with it. – Um. I’ve got a few gray hairs. – [Rhett] Mm-hmm. – And by a few I mean a lot. I feel like I need to confess that I’ve been hiding my gray hairs. – How you been hiding them? – I’ve been coloring the gray hairs. – What color? – They were gray. – What color you been coloring them? – Purple, you haven’t noticed? The color of the rest of my hair. – Oh, yeah, that makes sense. – Or at least trying to approximate it. – I didn’t notice, so I think you did a great job. – I don’t know what, when I made the decision. I think it was, um, when we were wrapping Buddy System, I think I’ve mentioned on a podcast that the people that you get closest to are the makeup people and the hair people, because you see them at the beginning of every day and at the end of every day and you have conversations with them and they know your deepest fears of forgetting lines because you’re cramming to study those. And you’re in a vulnerable position. But, you know, so they’re like, you gotta do a better job coloring your hair, like you know, you just have conversations about this, I’m like yeah. – Because you’ve been doing it personally. – I do it personally. – Like you take out like a brush, what is it, shoe polish? How does it work? – I’ve been using Just For Men. – Oh, well, that’s, you are a man. – Because, as you know, I am just a man. – Nothing more. – And um, well, because you don’t wanna go down the aisle with all the women hair dye, you wanna go on the man aisle with the razors. – Hold on, is this just for men, I wanna make sure this is just for men. – Of course not, it’s so stupid, it’s marketing. – Hold on, this would not work on a female’s hair, right? It’s just for men, just making sure. – I guarantee you the stuff on the woman hair color aisle, which, by the way, instead of just having like a little swath of hair color, has an entire aisle of the stuff, is the same exact stuff and probably cheaper, and more expensive, all types. – Because nobody can compete with Just For Men. When Just For Men came up with that, they got the corner on the man market. Because you can’t have like For Everyone. Just For Men won. – And so that’s where I went, because men aren’t comfortable going down the women color aisle. They wanna go down the razor aisle and just pick it up when nobody’s looking. – Yeah, that’s just for me, I’ll take it home. – It, I mean, it’s probably going back five years, maybe more than that. I remember, I mean it has to be more than that, when I first started seeing some gray hairs. It’s not because I’m old, even though I do blame it on my kids all the time whenever they’re like “Daddy, you got, I see your gray hair.” I’m like “well, it’s your fault.” It’s hereditary, man, it’s not because I’m getting old. It’s because genes. My mom went gray early. – But I love– – I’m hedging. – But let me just say, though, that you’re not really going gray early. I mean, you’re 39 years old, I mean. – I’m a young guy. – Yeah, I know, but– – On the inside. – Lost of people are in their late 30s have gray hair. – If you’re gonna go gray, this is when it happens. – Yeah, I’ve got some springs starting, too, it just doesn’t show up as much because my hair is not as dark. – Um. So what I would do was at first, I would just, I had some in my part, and I would just pluck them out, because they would be wiry. – Yep, they come in a different consistency. – And then at a certain, because like right where your hair would part, back here, I would notice some sprigs would be coming up. – They’re a little pube-ish. – Pube-ish, but totally white. Like if your pubic region got struck by lightning. That’s what it looked like on top of my head in certain places. – But there are benefits to when that happens. My Uncle Roy. – Oh yeah. – Got struck for lightning on his lightning rod. – Got struck for lightning on his lightning rod. Um. And then at a certain point, I’m like, whoa, right here when you would head a soccer ball, not the total front, but just behind that, I saw a patch over my right frontal lobe, like a little white patch and I was like, you know what, I’ll just get a little bit of that beard and mustache color, because you just brush that on. And then I would brush a little bit up there, and a little bit back here so I don’t have to pluck that on the crown of my head. And then of course, that patch gets bigger. – Mm-hmm, it grows, it spreads like a virus. – I remember one time I tried, I was like “screw this,” I’m just gonna shampoo my whole head with the hair dye, and it was when I went home for Christmas one time. – Oh, I remember that. – And I was out grilling, and because it says it only sticks to the white hairs. That’s a lie. – You looked like the dad from Addams Family (Link laughs) that Christmas. – And I remember, I was grilling with my dad, who, I was living out here, so I don’t see him as often and I remember when I was grilling, all of a sudden I noticed he was looking at me instead of the grill and he was like “you dye your hair?” (laughs) He said that to me, and I was like, yeah, I tried, well it’s just a spot here and there, but I tried the whole thing and it didn’t. – It went black, basically. – I was like, I am not gonna do that again. So then over time, over years, I would just, you know, like just. I noticed I was using more and more of the Just For Men. – But can I– – Out of the tube. – Let me interject, because– – And you start to, go ahead. – I think that, not to speak for you but to speak for you, because I’m also speaking for myself, I think that the tendency to dye the hair, I think, was rooted in we’ve always had this feeling that people perceived us to be younger that we actually are because most people do. If you just stumble on one of our videos, you don’t think, well, I don’t know, I’m starting to look older faster, I think we’re working too hard, but rewind just a couple of years. You wouldn’t think that guy is about to turn 40, I don’t think. – Right. – And so– – And we felt like, in order to succeed on YouTube, we couldn’t be seen as old guys. – And so it was just, oh, everybody does it, people dye their hair. – Sure. – So it’s like, yeah, I don’t want them to think I’m old, I don’t wanna become irrelevant. – I literally thought out loud. – You thought out loud? – To myself, George Clooney did it. – George Clooney did what? – Dyed his hair. Like, that was a rationale for me to feel more comfortable doing it. – How long did he do it? – I dunno, he does it on and off, ya know. He, I mean, for years before that movie in Hawaii, he would do it all the time. He was gray on E.R. dude. He was salt and pepper on E.R. – Right, but he wasn’t doing it to hide it, he was doing it for parts. – He was doing it, well, no, he would do it in real life as like, this is who, this is my normal look. – But he wasn’t trying to not let anyone know that had hair that was turning gray. – No, because he was on E.R. as a, I don’t even know if I’m right, but I use it as a rationalization. – I don’t think it’s true, but, I don’t think he ever dyed his hair. – Because the flip side of being on YouTube is that there’s a level of expected authenticity that you don’t, that’s not required of just an actor. So I always felt a little bad about it, or, I mean, self-conscious about it at least. – And I think you also– – And we talked about it. – Looked forward to the day when– – It’s not like we didn’t talk about it, by the way. It’s not like I was keeping it from you or anything. – You didn’t think, you dreaded the day that you’d have to let it go and make the switch, right? You’re like, if I’m still in the public eye, and all of a sudden I become Anderson Cooper, I got some explaining to do. – Right. My uncle Dan had a big red beard and reddish hair and he was a school principal for years, and um, then one day, he comes over to Nana and Pawpaw’s house, his in-laws, to eat dinner like we did every month, and he had gotten a promotion to be the superintendent of the public schools in the county. – Of Harnett. – And all of a sudden, he was full gray. It was like a different man was eating dinner with us. And I was like, that’s shocking. I wouldn’t want to do that to anybody. – Yeah, well you’ve avoided that. – Much less the mythical beasts. – You’ve avoided that. – Right, by making, so I think that’s what went in to making the decision now was, you know what, I think I just gotta, I don’t, I feel like I’m covering something up, emotionally or in some way, besides obviously physically and it didn’t make me feel comfortable. – But didn’t you also feel free to just? – I felt safe enough with, like, they mythical beasts to be, to be gray if I have gray hairs. Yes, but in my own brain, I had to let, I had to give myself permission. – Because we were also sensitive about, we would also avoid talking about how old we were, up to probably like five years ago. And now, it’s just, you know, when this podcast comes out, I will be 40 years old. – That’s right. – And everyone knows that now. And I’m not worried about it. – And there is something freeing about that, and I decided when the makeup people with Buddy System would like, brush the white hairs that I didn’t dye, with something in between takes to cover it up, I was like, enough of this, this is for the birds. And trying to color my own hair over the weekend, or you don’t know how many fight we and Christy got in with her trying to color this part in the back. – She wouldn’t do it right? – Yeah, in my opinion, she wasn’t doing it right, (laughs) but in her opinion, she didn’t have to do it at all, so. – Poor, poor woman. I do not envy that position, coloring Link’s hair. (laughs) Oh, gosh. – Um, so there were so many factors that just pushed me over the edge, but the main one is just to be me, you know. If I wanna tell people to be themselves and to be confident in who they are, well, I need to do that. You know? – Yeah, but I actually think that there’s, I think that ultimately, you will only experience a positive benefit, that’s redundant, you will only experience benefit from this. I honestly don’t think there’s any negative that can come from this. I think if anything, there will be some parent who’s watching Good Mythical Morning over their child’s head, shoulder, and they’ll see you and they’ll be like, hmm, he’s got gray hair, he must be about my age, maybe I’ll start watching. – Maybe this is for me. Or they’ll look over their kid’s shoulder and be like, why are you watching that old man? This is creepy. (Rhett sighs) This is creepy for everybody. I think that I might lose some fans who psychologically think it’s creepy to watch an old guy. – But you’ll gain some. For every one you lose, you’ll gain two. – Hope to gain so many more who are a fan of salt and pepper hair, and I don’t know. It’s just in here, it’s not everywhere. Well, it kinda is, it’s all on the sides. – I mean, it will be. – And it eventually will be everywhere. – Yeah. – I guess I feel better. – Yeah, you should. – I feel fine, I feel good about the um, about the decision. – And, you know what, mythical beasts? You will feel better when you cuddle up in a Good Mythical hoodie. – Do I have one to show? – I’ve got one, you have the Boiled for Safety mug over there. – And then cuddle up with a Boiled for Safety mug. You know what, this is (taps mug) it’s made of metal, man. You can sit there and take it on your camping trip, take your hoodie and your tin cup and cuddle up next to the fire. – It’s getting cold out there. Some places in the world it’s already, well, world, yeah, definitely, but some places in the US it’s already cold. I feel sorry for you guys. In California, we wear hoodies just as a fashion statement. We never, ever actually need them. It’s just, I mean, there’s like three days a year where you actually need a hood. – But don’t anti-sell it. – I’m just saying. – You want a hoodie, this is the best hoodie. – Look good and feel good. – Show them the back. The back’s got a daggum logo on it too, man. – There’s a daggum logo right there. – There’s a daggum logo on the back. – It’s the same logo as the front. – But it’s bigger. – Should be backwards on the back. Like you’re seeing the reverse image. – Support internetainment and show your mythical beastliness, go to mythical.store. – Okay, um, so. We’re gonna talk about our experience with horror movies and I do believe that I mean, I think I saw horror movies before the one that we’re gonna talk about first, but we can just start with our common experience, because I believe that was definitely your first horror movie, and it was a big one to start with. – Oh my goodness. Well, this is what I remember. Do you know what grade it was? Fourth grade? Third grade? – It was sixth grade. – Sixth grade? – Because I remember another monumental event that happened that night that we’ll talk about in another podcast. – So sixth grade. – That’s how I mark that year. Sixth grade. – We had a group sleepover at Adam Nicholson’s house. – Yup. – I never had a sleepover at Adam Nicholson’s house, and so I guess it was his birthday? – Something like that. – This is going all night, man. I don’t know whose idea it was to put on The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. – All I remember is he was talking about it and I was just so excited to watch it. – Did he go to like Coats party beverage and tanning salon and rent the VHS? He must have. His older brother, who worked at Hooters probably did. – Larry. – Larry, that Hooter-frying– – He probably also– – Well, he didn’t fry the Hooters, you fried the wings. – He also probably owned it. Larry’s the kind of guy that would have owned Texas Chainsaw Massacre. – Larry was cool. – But the parents knew that we, it was not a, we weren’t sneaking around, the parents knew that we were watching it, and I was super excited because I had already kinda been enjoying horror movies and the idea of enjoying a horror movie in a group of my friends was especially exciting to me. – I think that horror movies, even though they’re rated R are designed for sixth graders to watch because it can just scare the living crap out of you and change your entire life. Like I said, I was just, I never heard of it before, I’d never watched a horror movie before, and the moment he said we were gonna watch it, I was like freaking out in my brain but I wasn’t gonna tell anybody because that wasn’t cool. I mean, I definitely thought about bailing on the whole sleepover entirely, I’m sure of it. But I didn’t do it. – If I know you, you were already anxious just about being at a sleepover. – Yeah, yeah. – For reasons I didn’t know at the time. I did not know that you were so anxious about it, I was like surely Link is having just as good of a time as I am at this stranger’s house. Not in a stranger’s house, but at this friend that we don’t know that well’s house. I had never spent the night over there, but I felt comfortable doing it in a group. So he brought out Chainsaw Massacre. Also that night, we stuck somebody’s hand in warm water and tried to get them to pee themselves. – After we went to sleep. – Who was that? – Who would that have been? I don’t know. – It didn’t work. – I do remember trying it. – He woke up. – Since it didn’t work, I don’t remember it. For those of you who don’t know, I’m gonna read this synopsis of Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Made in 1974, it released in 1974 actually, shot in ’73 outside of Austin, Texas. When Sally hears that her grandfather’s grave may have been vandalized, she and her paraplegic brother, Franklin, set out with their friends to investigate. After a detour to their family’s old farm house, uh-oh, they discover a group of crazed, murderous outcasts living next door. I believe it was an incestuous family of freaks, the way I would put it. As the group is attacked one by one by the chainsaw-wielding Leatherface, who wears a mask of human skin, the survivors must do everything they can to escape. – This thing was made for $140,000. I mean, you can kinda tell when you watch it. It’s pretty clear that it was a low-budget film. – Yeah. – Made over 30 million in the box office. – Good gracious. – That’s a great return on your investment. But I just remember watching it that night and then– – What do you remember about the movie? Like, does anything specifically stand out? Because there’s one scene that really stands out for me. With the meat hook. – No, I just kinda have a vague memory of Leatherface and the chainsaw. – I distinctly remember. I mean, to me it was like, yeah it was like a refrigerated butcher room, but he like takes this girl, and then there’s a meat hook and he hangs her on the meat hook like through her back. She’s hanging there, man. It was so grotesque, and that family acted so weird, and the fact that it was shot in 1974, it just looked so disturbing and it was so hackishly done, like it all played into being horrifying. I mean, there was guy who played the granddad, and I watched this clip, so I only remember this part from rewatching it a second ago, because I wanted to verify the meat hook, which I did and I shouldn’t have. – Verify the meat hook. – Do you remember, there was like a granddad at a dinner table. – I remember an old, old man. – And he had really old man makeup, and like a latex skin on, and then they took the girl and they cut her finger and then the granddad was sucking on her finger. It’s just demented stuff, man. – That’s great cinema. Now see, you’re saying this demented and horrifying as if this is– – I didn’t even mention the guy with the human skin mask. – Well you did in the synopsis. You’re saying all this (mutters) I cannot speak, I’ve been talking too much today. – It doesn’t matter. – As if it’s a bad thing. You’re saying, oh, it’s so horrifying. That’s what makes it such a great thing. Is there really nothing at all about the experience of just being just, totally scared to your core, but knowing that you’re not really in any danger? Is there not anything exhilarating about that? – I didn’t know that I wasn’t in danger. It’s like, something, there was no logic component to this. I mean, it was like in the dream when the snake swam up to me in the tributary, that was a snake, and I as swimming. I experienced that as a sixth grader in a similar way. Because you remember what happened afterward. – We went outside. – Yeah, when the movie’s over, then someone had the bright idea to be like let’s go outside, and his back yard backed up to a huge field. – Mm-hmm, I remember this. – And then we, everyone just started walking into the field, in the pitch black at night and it was like a corn field, and we’re walking into it and then all of a sudden, once you walk into the field, you can’t see your friends anymore. – Yeah. – So, I’m alone in a field in a place I’ve never been, and I can hear rustling, presumably of you people, former friends of mine walking in there, and it was the most terrifying thing. I mean, I was waiting for Leatherface to jump out at any moment, dude. – See, this is, you know. – It was torture. – This is interesting because sometimes there are these life events that really highlight very stark differences. We’re very similar in a lot of ways, very different in a lot of ways. So when a group of kids– – It was probably your idea. – When a group of kids goes into a dark corn field, the only thing I’m thinking is how do I scare someone? And you’re thinking, I’m so scared. – I’m thinking, am I gonna die? – Right, and I’m like, you become the victim and I become Leatherface. – Yeah. – You become the girl on the meat hook and I become Leatherface. – Sixth grade Leatherface. – I love scaring people. – You’re like, dang it, I should have brought my chainsaw. – You remember like we would go camping. – Yes. – Across the river. – Cape Fear River, yeah. – And we would all be walking and then sometimes we would be walking through the woods– – All of a sudden, I’d turn around. – And I’d be gone. – Like where’s Rhett? – And I would literally devote like an hour of my time, I would let you guys get completely ahead of me and then I would walk through the woods and I would get like 100 yards from the camp site, it’s totally dark, and I would very, very slowly, and I would get up next to the camp site and I could hear you guys and you would all be like, he’s gonna come scare us, he’s gonna scare us at any moment, but I would wait (laughs) – He’d wait way past that moment. – Really really close, and I would wait for you to get right to that moment where you had let your guard down and I would just come out there and scream. – Well the camp– – I love doing that. – I remember this one time, because the camp site was on the other side of the river and then, again, another tributary came off of the river and formed our camp site on an island. – Yeah. – And I remember we set up camp and then you went to take a leak and never came back. – Didn’t come back. – It was pitch dark outside of the campfire zone and then after a while, I go to take a leak, and I go next to the tributary and I swear, for the past 30 minutes, you had been submerged in the water. – I was in the river. – You were in the river. – I got in the river and just kept my eyes above the water and waited for somebody to come take a leak. – Like Predator, right? Like Arnold Schwarzenegger in Predator. – I live for that kind of thing. I do it to my kids, too. – I did pee on you, so. (laughs) – My dad did it to me. I remember really vividly, coming back over, walking back home from Ben Greenwood’s house and my mom had called me and said “you need to come home” because it was late or whatever, and so my dad knew that I was walking from Keith Hills back to our house, it’s like a mile walk across a couple of corn fields. – The same corn field. – Yeah, same corn fields. – That, but yeah, Adam’s house backed up to. – And I’m walking, I come out of the corn field and then I’m walking on the grass field in front of my house and I get right up to the road and all of a sudden, the bush started shaking, and then all of a sudden there’s a dog going (barks angrily) and then I realized it’s my dad. I’m on the ground. – You were laying on the ground? – I was so scared, and then he just laughed at me. – And you got a thrill out of that? Or you wanted to be your dad, you’re like, one day, I’m gonna be the scarer, and I’m gonna have the power. – I have a very similar personality make-up. It’s like, I wasn’t scarred by it, it was just like, when we went inside it was like man, you got me. You know, and then, I just, you know, I carried on the cycle. – But it’s not that you experienced joy in being scared. – No, but I do. I do, I do, so that’s where I want to go with this because you like riding a roller coaster, right? – Yeah. – And to me, the joy of riding a roller coaster, as long as I’m not getting sick, is the feeling of being in danger, with not really being in danger. Now of course– – That’s not the part I like about it. – Now of course, there is– – I like the fun part. – Yeah, but what makes it fun? It’s the thrill, and what makes it a thrill? – The physical sensation of, I mean– – I could just pick you up and throw you around and that wouldn’t be fun. – Well, it might be. (they laugh) – I don’t think it would be the same thing. To me– – So you’re saying the adrenaline associated with a simulated near-death experience on a roller coaster, where I can suspend my fear of actual death, and I can. – And the scarier it is, the more the sensation, right? So okay, so when we went to Six Flags with the team and we got on that, what was the one where you’re flying? What was that called? What is that thing called? The one at Six Flags that’s like– – I couldn’t say it right now. – Sponsored by, uh, by the chips. – I don’t know what it’s called. – But anyway, there’s one where you basically are strapped in and you’re flying and the whole time I was strapped in, I was thinking, if this thing breaks. – We talked about this. – Right, and so but that’s what made it great is that I actually thought, man, I am, I could actually be in danger. But then when you get through it and you’re done, you’re like, that was the best one, that’s the one I’ll remember. That was the best experience I had at Six Flags, was the time I thought I was gonna die and then I didn’t. So a horror movies is– – Your mom also, also trained you to like that experience in the form of horror movies, too, because she would force feed you horror movies as a baby. – I don’t think that my mom really understood. Like my mom thought that her presence with you made whatever you were watching okay. It’s like parental guidance, as long as I guide him through this, it’ll be okay. – Well R stands for restricted. – Now, but she has, um, denied this, too. – Restricted without Mom being there. – Because I’ve talked about how, either on the podcast or Good Mythical Morning, I don’t know. – Watching Hellraiser. – Hellraiser, how she got me to watch Hellraiser. Or she let me watch Hellraiser with her and when I was very young and she’s denied this, she says “I wouldn’t have done that.” I was like, well how do I remember it, and how do I remember sitting there next to you watching it? (Link laughs) Um, so, but she loves horror movies. My mom will go see horror movies by herself. Like she called me last year and she was like “I just went to see Insidious 4” or whichever one it was, “by myself, and I was the only one in the theater.” – What? – And she loved it, she loves every minute of it. So there’s something in our blood that makes us want to experience these things, but, and I’ve made kind of a– – It feels wrong to me. – The funny thing is, I don’t have a lot of people in my life to enjoy horror movies with. Jessie doesn’t like to watch them, you don’t really like to watch them. We will talk in a second about some of the ones that we have enjoyed together, or we both have enjoyed recently. But one of my favorite horror movie stories is I learned that my father-in-law– – Oh, you, this movie, you made me watch it with you in the theater and then you watched it again with him. – Oh, The Ring? – Yes. – Okay. – I saw The Ring in the theater in Greensboro. – In Greensboro. – Yeah. – Okay. – After Christmas because you were like, man, we got some time, we’re on the road, let’s stop at a theater and watch The Ring. And I’m like, no, we’ll watch something else, and we get there, and there’s nothing else within an hour and a half time frame so then you forced me to watch The Ring. – And how do you remember that? – Don’t pull a your mom on me. I remember it because it scared the daylights out of me. – How do you remember that? Not how do you remember that. – With my brain, I don’t understand. – Tell me about your experience. How do you recall that? What was it like to watch the movie? That’s what I’m asking. (laughs) Wow. – I uh. – Not how do you go about remembering that, but like tell me about the experience. – Oh. – What do you mean, man? – No, I was just– – With my brain. – It scared me, it was very scary. – You didn’t enjoy any of it? It was all bad? – I can read the synopsis, and then I’ll let you tell the story. – I think most people know the synopsis to The Ring, but feel free to read it. – It sounds like just another urban legend, a videotape filled with nightmarish images leads to a phone call foretelling the viewer’s death in exactly seven days. Why couldn’t it be in the video? Why you gotta get a phone call? Anyways, newspaper reporter Rachel Keller, played by Naomi Watts, is skeptical of the story until four teenagers all die mysteriously exactly one week after watching just such a tape. Allowing her investigative curiosity to get the better of her, Rachel tracks down the video and watches it. Now she has just seven days to unravel the mystery. Even reading that scared me. – So, we watched it together, I really enjoyed it. I like watching, I do not watch horror movies by myself. I’ve almost done in a couple of times, but I’m not like my mom, I don’t want to do that because the thing I enjoy is being with someone who’s also getting scared. That’s why my birthday parties usually consist of watching a horror movie together with a bunch of adults. – Mm-hmm. – Because I like to see, especially people who don’t like horror movies, get scared. But I found that my father-in-law also likes to watch horror movies and so, I don’t know, this is years ago, I’d just gotten married to Jessie so this is like– – Well, it came out in 2002, so it’s probably 2003. – Yeah, and so it was right when it came out on video, and um, so he’s like, let’s watch a horror movie together. I’m gonna go get The Ring. You know, it was when you went to rent movies, and he comes back with it like okay, we’re gonna watch this thing together. And we’re in the living room together and then Jessie and her mom are on the other side of the house, like on the sun porch, they called it. So basically the outside of the house. – And you should explain what happens in the movie. – Yeah, so, of course– – With the television, right, something. – In the movie, well yeah, the way that she kills you is that she comes, you’re watching the tape and then she comes out of the television and kills you. – She’s very pale. – Yeah, and so and the first scene is probably the scariest one, the first murder in the movie, in the original Ring is incredibly scary. So we’re sitting there watching it, we got all the lights off and we’ve got the volume cranked up real high, and there’s this moment when it’s zooming in on the television and I know what’s about to happen because I’ve seen the movie, I know that she’s about to come out of there, and as soon as her, that black hair, that greasy black hair, it’s like right there at the screen, at the peak of the music and the buildup and everything, all of a sudden, the TV, the speaker, everything, the whole entertainment center just goes (whistles) and just cuts off. – Oh no. – And then we both ran. (they laugh) – Ran. – We both. – Where did you run? – We ran to the sun porch. – You ran to your mama? – We ran to our ladies. We just ran in there, it was like, we had to run all the way across the house and then we ran in there and they’re like, what in the world? – With your father-in-law. – Why are you guys running in here? And we’re like (mutters) the horror movie just did something in real life. (laughs) – Oh my goodness, but then you looked over and your dad was holding the plug. – No, it wasn’t my father. – No, barking like a dog? – We never. – That’s crazy, though. – I think actually what happened– – The timing of it. – My scientific, my completely rational explanation of this is that we had it turned up so loud, and the bass was so, the music was peaking at that point that something happened that it overpowered the system and then (snaps fingers) it went out. Or maybe The Ring is real and, if we hadn’t have run out of the room to the sun porch, we would be dead. – Wasn’t there a viral video of um, people, there was a bunch of televisions in like a Best Buy or something and then a Ring girl crawls out of a television? – Yeah, that was for the most recent Ring campaign. If you’ve got a horror movie these days, you gotta have some viral campaign like that, where somebody gets, you know, thrown up against a wall by some witch in a coffee shop, that kinda thing. You gotta have that if you want anybody to watch your movie. – It’s a remake of a Japanese horror classic. – But so what I have done for a number of my birthdays is I’ve invited, especially since we moved out here, I’ve invited a lot of people over to watch a horror movie with me. – And just to bring you up to speed on my horror movie watching life, you took me to see The Ring. Well, after the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, I did not watch another horror movie. I didn’t even watch Gremlins. – I don’t believe that’s technically a horror movie, but. – I wouldn’t watch it. I would not watch anything that could remotely be scary after that movie, probably until you took me to see The Ring as a married adult man, with a few gray hairs. – Just a few. But then, so this is probably three years ago, maybe four years ago because we were, we were definitely in the previous studio. – Which the downstairs did not have any windows. – I went, I’m gonna have a birthday party, I’m gonna invite all my friends over, and we’re gonna watch The Conjuring together. – And it’s great because your birthday is in October, so it’s like everybody’s in the Halloween mood, festivities. – Right. And nobody– – The Conjuring. – Everybody was kind of in the same place, they were like not really fans of horror movies, but one person in particular hated horror movies more than you, and that was Tony. – Yeah (laughs) and he said “I don’t want to be here.” But I know this is your, you know, we’re friends, it’s your birthday. – Not to name drop, but for context, we’re talking about Tony Hale. – [Link] Yeah, so now it’s funnier because you– – You can imagine what it’s like to watch him watching a horror movie. – Buster from Arrested Development or, I mean, even more famously now, whatever he is on Veep, I can’t remember his name right now. – Gary. – Gary. But yeah, just imagine him. I mean, he was like, I’m only here because we’re friends and I want to support you as a friend. – And then he proceeded to put on headphones while we watched the movie, he put in ear buds. (laughs) And listened to music while we watched the movie. – Like, I think the way he put it was like, really nice music. – Yeah. – Like friendly music. – And he also left a couple of times. – Yeah. So, he wouldn’t watch the movie, but he wanted to be supportive, so he listened to nice music and he didn’t, and he looked at us. – And I gotta say that– – It was very kind of him. – I really appreciate the support, but I would have enjoyed it more if he had just committed fully to the experience, because that’s the thing that’s so exhilarating to me. – For you to be entertained at his expense. – Well, I like everybody to be in this, I love to watch it in a group because everybody’s grabbing on to each other and it’s just like, you’re experiencing this as a team. You’re like, it’s as close as you can get to being one of those pods that’s gonna roam around during the apocalypse, you know what I’m saying? Like, just a– – If we can get through this together, we can, we’ll be safe, safety in numbers. – We can do anything. – We can do anything. – If we can get through this movie, and The Conjuring was especially scary. – Shall I read the synopsis? – Read the synopsis, Link. – In 1970, paranormal investigators and demonologists Lorraine and Ed Warren are summoned to the home of Carolyn and Roger Perron. The Perrons and their five daughters have recently moved into a secluded farm house. There’s that farm house again. Where a supernatural presence has made itself known. Though the manifestations are relatively benign at first, events soon escalate in horrifying fashion, especially after the Warrens discover the house’s macabre history. – And now these– – Synopsis are not very great for horror movies because they can’t give anything away. – Right, yeah, but you can keep reading them. – Yeah. – The thing about any sort of demon-related horror movie is there’s this, there’s always been this thing in the back of my mind that I’m like, it’s different than just a very– – Crazy dude with a skin mask. – Grotesque monster that feels like, very removed from the human experience, but then when all of a sudden there’s a demon in the house, you’re like, um. – It could be in your house right now. – Uh, I don’t know what I actually think about this. I don’t know if I believe in this or not, but it could be true, I don’t know. And then you really start getting scared. – And if it is true and you don’t believe in it, you not believing in it doesn’t matter. – Yeah, right. – It could be there at any moment. – And then when you get home. – He could be there too. – You’re thinking, um, oh man, because you know that Swamp Thing’s not gonna be in your house. – Because your house is not in a swamp. – But maybe your house is haunted, maybe there’s a demon under the bed. – Right. – [Rhett] Or in your dog or something like that. – Well, I prefer to think that he’s hiding behind the trash cans, which is why I always run back in the house after throwing the trash away. – And then the following year, I got everyone to watch the Babadook. – [Link] I’m giving up on the synopsis. – Yeah, that one was. – No, this is the one where the kid. – The basement. – The kid was spooked out about this Babadook haunting him, and the mom starts talking to it. – [Rhett] Oh gosh. – Oh my goodness. – You want me to read the synopsis? – Read the synopsis, dude. (laughs) – Amelia, who lost her husband in a car crash on the way to give birth to Samuel. First of all, their only child. You like come from a horror movie situation as an old child, though. You could have been like the little boy in a horror movie, that’s the thing, maybe you are. Struggles to cope with her fate as a single mom, this is like Sue. Sam, Link’s constant fear of monsters and violent reaction to overcome the fear doesn’t help Sue’s cause either, which makes her friends become distant. When things cannot get any worse, they read a strange book in their house about the Babadook monster that hides in the dark areas of their house. – Hey honey, you’re troubled? I’ve got an idea, let me read you a story about the Babadook, what kinda mom? – Even Sue seems to feel the effect of Babadook and desperately tries in vain to destroy the book. The nightmarish experiences the two encounter form the rest of the story. – But she would talk to it in order to try to get it to go away, right? And I think at first, that, at first, she was doing that to calm the kid, but then it was actually real. – But that’s another great device in a horror movie, is a child. – Yeah, children, no. – First of all, the scariest, I think I’ve said this before, but the scariest possible thing in a horror movie is like a little girl that has somehow been corrupted by evil. Because you’ve got the most innocent thing you can possibly think of, that in the irony of it, so like Poltergeist or whatever, those movies are, or even like the Exorcist where you’ve got a young girl getting possessed by a demon like that, the juxtaposition there is just so strong. And um, but The Babadook was really scary, but it didn’t get me as much as The Conjuring. It wasn’t as pure of an experience. Tony didn’t come to that party. – No, he didn’t. – He’s too scared. – He ran out of nice music. – So, it’s interesting because this whole– – That was at your house and there were windows, too. – That’s true. – And some people were in the other room, they were talking a little bit. – Yeah, it’s hard to be isolated in my house, yeah, because it’s too open. But this concept of watching horror movies for entertainment in a group has passed on to our kids. – Yes. – Interestingly. – And I bet Locke– – My son gets it directly from me. – I bet Locke did it to my family. – But Lincoln is now in on it and he’s not like, I remember Lincoln would watch like, think of something that’s not actually scary, like Gremlins, but not even Gremlins. He would watch like– – Land Before Time, oh, them dinosaurs can step on you. – Exactly, and then he would like have to come upstairs and sleep with you guys. – Yeah. – But now, Locke’s got him watching, they watched frickin’ Annabelle together. – Yeah, it’s like a status symbol to be able to brag to your friends that like, I watched, that’s the baby doll one, right? – I think you’re seeing it wrong, though. You think that– – I think Lincoln did it because he thought it was cool. – You think kids are watching it because they’re trying to prove something? You don’t think that the idea of just, I think Locke watches it for the same reason that I do, to get really, really scared. We went to see It together– – I think Lincoln watched it because Locke was into it. – Well, before I tell the It story, because I want to talk about the two horror movies of 2017 that I think are just probably my two favorite movies of 2017 are both horror movies. But, um, the other night, well this has been a few weeks, we were at your house and Locke was like “Dad, Lincoln and I are gonna watch Annabelle” and so they go back to Lincoln’s room, they put the movie on, and then Lilly, while they’re watching the movie, she goes and gets a bunch of her dolls that she used to play with and she sits them in the hallway. – Yeah. – So the first thing they’re gonna see when they come out after the movie is a bunch of dolls staring at them in the hallway. (laughs) – Like American Girl dolls. – The big ones with the big, open eyes. American Girl dolls, yeah. – She got them out of the garage. I’m like, why are we keeping these? Oh, for occasions like this. – So what they did, they opened the door and they both kicked the dolls. Like they (yells) and they freaked out. – It was a convulsive reaction. – And attacked the dolls. – Yeah, and, uh. – Which, I loved that. That’s what I live for, stuff like that. – Yeah, Lilly, it’s like you hiding in the river water, up to your eyes like an alligator. That’s what she was doing. – I think part of it has to do with the fact that we just don’t, I think humans are, you know, we’re basically, it’s in our DNA to be scared and to escape things. – As a safety mechanism– – Over and over again. – When in doubt, be afraid of it, instinctively. – We’ve still got this Stone Age hardware, right? And we’ve got the modern-day software, but our hardware, our DNA is basically designed so that we will experience this incredible stress and the we will move away from it and there will be this feeling of euphoria when we get away from that thing, right? That was reinforced over millions of years. But we don’t live, and that’s one of the reasons we have all these health problems is because we live, we have this very constant low-grade stress that causes a cortisol release, which is very unhealthy to have this constant release, as opposed to a big flush of it and then it’s over. – So you think that your mom taught you from an early age to flush the system. – I don’t know if it’s, because I’m already, I’m also living in the stressed out modern day world with this unhealthy level of low-grade stress. I’m just saying that I think one of the reasons that you feel good after you watch something that’s really scary and then it’s over is like, for me it is that flush, but there is also the bonding. That’s why I like to watch it with somebody, so like if I run from a bear and get away from a bear, it’s pretty exhilarating, but if we run from a bear and both get away, we’re like, you know, we reinforce something between the two of us. – Or if we run from a bear but I run faster from the bear, then the bear gets you and I get away. – Yeah, that’s even better. – Even better. – But that’s what makes horror movies so amazing, because nobody is actually killed by the movie, right? You get out. And so. – Oh, get out. – Let’s talk about Get Out, my favorite movie of the year. – [Link] Yeah, I just want to give a shout-out to Cabin in the Woods, but we’re not gonna talk about that. – Okay, because that was another horror movie that you loved because it wasn’t, it was– – Well, yeah. – You don’t want to do any spoilers. You’ve seen it, right. – You should see it. If you love horror movies, you should see it, and if you don’t love horror movies like me, you should see it. – Right, it’s a perfect horror movie for people who don’t love horror movies. But Get Out, which we did not see together, we saw separately, right? – Right. – But we saw it the same weekend, and uh. – Great movie. – It’s just like a perfect movie, man. – Well, everything, it’s so rare that people rave and rave about a movie and then you haven’t watched it yet and you’re like man. – It’s too built up. – There’s no way. – Yeah, it can’t live up. – And then it does. I didn’t know any of the details, and if you don’t, I don’t think I want to tell you. – But I encourage you– – So you should see it. – If you’ve avoided horror movies, definitely Cabin in the Woods, definitely, probably Get Out before Cabin in the Woods. – Yeah, yeah. – Because Get Out is actually not as– – Right. – I don’t think it’s as scary as Cabin in the Woods. Cabin in the Woods is like a tropey movie that’s like making fun, it’s a parody of horror movies, with a twist. – This is more of a thriller. Like, I didn’t watch those either, like Hand That Rocks the Cradle, any of that stuff, but it’s a little different than a horror movie, like a psychological thriller. And that’s what Get Out is. – And it also has this incredible social message which is like, um, and the thing that is so amazing about it is you got a guy, Jordan Peele, who, you know, is one half of a comedy duo, we can relate to that, who all of a sudden just busts out this perfect movie that makes over $100 million, that’s crazy. That’s a feat in and of itself, and he also has said that he’s got a handful more of these type of movies planned. – I love that he did that. – That address something important in a really creative way. – Yeah, I would say he is a creative hero of mine. – Oh, definitely. – Along with Beck. – Beck? – Beck is a musical creative hero of mine. The way he can shape shift and, I just really have this on my creative heart and I want to do it. – Mm. Beck, huh? – Yeah. – I mean, I’m a fan, but. – I have one more but I can’t remember right now who it is. Keeping a running list of– – Moby? – No, creative heroes of mine. – I saw Moby in a, I saw Moby at Kitchen Mouse. Saw the back of Moby’s head. – You could switch any of those three words around and I’d still believe it. I saw a mouse at the kitchen Moby. I don’t know what you’re talking about. So, but then, I presume that you’re moving on to It. – Oh gosh, yes. – Because what you were talking about with the kids was, they’ve been badgering us to see It, and I’m like now, I remember when I was 10 years old and It came out on television as a mini-series. – As a network television thing. – And, yeah. – They couldn’t do anything because they were restricted by network television. – Everybody at school was talking about it, so I did watch a lot of that, but it had that creepy clown and it scared the crap out of me. And I don’t recall watching all of it, but I watched portions of it just to be in the know. – I watched that with my brother. I remember watching that mini-series, but this It, first of all, guys, come on, let’s be real. The It from this year is so much better than the original. Let’s just be honest. – Is that a question? – No, people, there are people who no matter how things are done, they always say it’s not as good as the original, he’s not as good of a clown as the first guy. It’s not as scary, it’s not as creepy. You’re wrong, okay? I know that this seems like a subjective thing, but you are objectively wrong if you think the original It is better than the current It. On every level, you are wrong. You have an incorrect perception of the world, and those two movies, okay? So now that that’s out of the way, this It– – And now they’re like, I’m glad you pointed that out. I am totally swayed by your cogent argument. It was very gracious, too. You’ve won the hearts and mind of every– – Hey, I’m not about winning hearts and minds, I’m just about stating facts. – Now that I’ve settled it. – So um, it is so good. Now there’s a lot of people. – Well, let me say, It is so good, I saw it. – You loved it, too. – Except for that clown part. (laughs) You know? – You loved every minute of it, though, man. – Man. I’m not proud of the fact that I took my kids to see it. Not Lando, of course, but, I mean, Lincoln, once you see all the other ones, like Lincoln has and he’s not coming up to my bedroom at night scared, then I’m like, all right, fine, we’ll go see it. If I get some cool points out of it, I’m kinda curious. So yeah, I’m not proud, nor not proud, that I took them to see it. – Yeah. – And you took Locke, you and Locke went to see it. – Well, so Locke was playing basketball at the Y, and then I picked him up and I didn’t tell him. I picked him up and I was like, we gotta go home and get ready because, uh, in one hour we’re gonna be watching It and his face just lit up. Which, as a dad, I just love being able to do something like that with him, and then during the movie, we were grabbing each other and screaming the entire, we were running from the bear and repeatedly getting away together, and we bonded because of that. We absolutely loved it, and he’s gone back to see it again. – That’s interesting because, um, I reserved seats for me, Lilly, and Lincoln and then a friend of theirs and their friend’s mom, but the seats couldn’t all be together so me and the friend’s mom sat together. – You had a little date, huh? (chuckles) Yeah, yeah I did. – So yeah, there wasn’t as much like grabbing each other comradery, with like my kid’s friend’s mom that I kinda know. – Right, well I was also, I was actually kinda disappointed because, not in the movie, but in the people watching the movie, because the movie was so good, it was scary. Now first of all, there are people who don’t think that clown is scary, and I think that that’s fine, if you’re not scared of something, you can’t help it. People just think it was too, it was like– – Cartoony or something? – If you don’t find the clown scary, then the whole thing is ruined for you, and I know there were some people at the office who didn’t find him scary, can’t argue with that. I found it incredibly scary, I kinda give myself over to movies when I watch them. – Well, after the first scene, I think they did a bang-up job of establishing how afraid you should be of this clown. – [Rhett] Yes, it was a great first scene. – Right off the bad. – And also, it was– – Like, surprising, I was like whoa. – Incredibly funny. Those kids, first of all, those kids are incredible actors. – It was just crafted so well. Like cinematically, even in that shot, there’s that over-head shot where it’s raining and the aftermath of what happened and there’s, you know, the water’s draining away. – All the visual choices, but the kids are so talented. – I’ve never seen a movie– – What’s the kid’s name from Stranger Things? The main dude, from It and Stranger Things? – Kid from Stranger Things I think is what he’s properly called. – [Man] Finn Wolfhard. – Yeah, Finn, okay, so. – [Link] He was great, he’s funny. – One of the things about that kid is that, in a way that hasn’t, it hasn’t happened since the ’80s that you kinda saw kids kinda grow up and star in movies that adults liked. – Yeah, very nostalgic feeling. – The ’90s kinda ushered in this time, and definitely some of the 2000s have been where kids are in movies that are mostly for kids and then occasionally people, you know, stars, star kids, adults will tolerate the movies. But back in the ’80s, you had like kids that were in family movies that became stars and they kinda grew up and were good actors and they were respected. Like I can totally see that kid becoming, being somebody that we know for our entire lives as an actor, you know, that just doesn’t happen a lot, but he’s incredible. He’s incredible in Stranger Things, he’s incredible in It, but all the kids are. – That’s the cool thing is that it’s a book from the ’80s, set, it was written then, right? I mean, it certainly came out as a mini-series in the ’80s. – I think he wrote it in the mid-80s, yeah. – And obviously, this is the Stranger Things phenomenon that’s happening. I’m not saying anything you haven’t heard here, and obviously Stranger Things was inspired by It, which gave It permission to then be re-inspired by Stranger Things, but they didn’t have to make the choice to set it back in the ’80s necessarily. I guess that was the story, so they kinda had to do that, but the style of it, but then adding on top of it, the nostalgia factor that you’re talking about of kid stars in movies for adults, and kids, was like that last piece that brought it all together. Its in the ’80s, and it’s shot like that, like a movie from the ’80s, but done in the highest production value of now, but also that whole phenomenon is very nostalgic. – Yeah. – And then, just visually, there’s so many memorable and horrifying scenes. – And it keeps coming at you, it’s like, it’s unrelenting in how many times it just keeps coming back. – I’m tempted to say that I like horror movies. I mean, I’m gushing about this movie. Maybe I finally switched over. – You like good horror movies, which I agree there’s not a lot of them. You know, most horror movies are bad, but this year has been good. – But it had other things, it had humor. – Well a lot of horror, the best horror movies are funny as well. I mean, Get Out was hilarious. – Yeah, yeah. – And even some of the best ones from back in the day, like Nightmare on Elm Street or Friday the 13th. – They were funny? Because of course I never saw them. – Freddy Kruger was funny, he was legit funny. – Like he had one-liners or something? – He had one-liners, yeah. – Oh, really? – Yeah, he was funny. You can watch those now and you won’t be, you really won’t be scared. But, talking about– – But I’ll laugh? – The remake, I have another point to make. It then versus It now. It’s the same people make the argument that you know, if uh, if the NBA players from the ’80s played the NBA players from today, they would totally beat the NBA players for today. They were just, it was so much more of a pure game and they were tougher physically. You’re also wrong, you are objectively wrong. If the NBA championship team, if the Golden State Warriors were to play the 1993, or ’95– – [Both] Chicago Bulls. – They would decimate them. – Whoa, whoa, Horace Grant. – (mutters) You gotta understand how much the game has changed in 20, 30 years. It’s changed so much. Like, they move faster. You can definitively prove this. Somebody needs to just scientifically break it down so their argument would just be over forever. I’m just telling you, I know they were great. – They prove it in the Olympics every year. – But the game has, exactly, so there’s a definitive measure of athleticism, and what happens with world records, they get broken. Every year at the Olympics, for these definitive things like sprinting and jumping and weight lifting, typically there are records that are set. Why is basketball any different? The game is evolving. Kids, my kid is playing basketball right now, and– – He’s better than Jordan. – They are so much better than I was at that age, and I realize we’re in, you know, we’re in southern California, but North Carolina is a pretty good basketball state, but like, the skill level of all these kids, like the mean skill level is so much higher than what we had, there’s just no contest, there’s no contest. And the filmmaking, to take it back to filmmaking, we’ve gotten so much better, the technology has gotten so much better and the sound and all these things have gotten so much better, and not to mention that It would not even be, it’s not even an argument because the original It was a network television mini-series that couldn’t, had so many lines that they couldn’t cross, so many things that they couldn’t show and couldn’t say, and you don’t have those restrictions with the modern-day version, there’s no contest. Why are we even talking about this? – I think the exception is, there will never be another Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Except for the fact that they’ve made like countless sequels. Am I wrong in thinking that Matthew McConaughey was in a Texas Chainsaw Massacre sequel? – I think you’re wrong about George Clooney dying his hair ever, and I think you’re wrong about that. – It’s George Clooney. Dude, George Clooney dyes his hair for roles, yeah, but then he– – For roles only. – But like in like a, on the front of a magazine. – [Man] He’s in Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation in ’94. (laughs) – Matthew McConaughey? – I want you to say that on mic, Rhett. – Matthew McConaughey was in Texas Chainsaw Massacre, the next what? – [Man] Generation. – No, that was Star Trek, man. – The next generation. – He was on Star Trek. – 1994, Matthew McConaughey. – You are wrong about George Clooney, though. Somebody look that up. – [Woman] George Clooney dyed his hair for Hail, Caesar! But other that, does not dye his hair. – Okay. – Yes he did. – No, man. – Just in normal life. – Just like Anderson Cooper doesn’t dye his hair either. – Nikki’s over there. – [Nikki] George Clooney reveals why he will never dye his hair. – Okay, see, George Clooney reveals why he will never dye his hair. – Again. (clears throat) I’ll call George myself, fine. – Okay, you’re one for two, man. Hey, but listen, I’m telling you this. – But here’s the thing. – Golden State Warriors would definitely beat the Bulls. I don’t wanna talk about it. – Texas Chainsaw Massacre could not be redone scarier than the 1974 version because it was the low budget, like horrible acting, like. – You’re right, I completely agree with that. – It was, it was like a Blair Witch experience, but it was real. Now, you know what I’m saying? I know that is not clear. – I also watched the Blair Witch. – I’ve not see the Blair Witch Project. – I watched, Locke is on this horror movie binge, right? So we watched Blair Witch together and uh. – Is thing is that it was all shot on home video. – Well it was, yeah, it’s a recording of real events. – Oh. I’m not saying that Texas Chainsaw Massacre was that by any means, but I’m saying it has that feel because it was done by like, borderline amateur filmmakers, just trying to make it happen with no money. – Yeah. – Outside of Texas and nearly killing each other trying to make this thing, and I think it translates into the way that this demented family, the actors chosen to act and like, I watched the closing scene right before we came in here and it just gave me chills because just the production of it. – It’s probably a scary film set to be on. Because it was so, they had to get so raw, and the lines between reality and the fiction were probably pretty blurry. – At the very end, this like big rig drives up. – Oh, the big rig. – Because the bloody girl has made it to the highway and she’s being chased by the, by Leatherface and his brother, and then the rig hits his brother, runs over him, and then the rig pulls over and the guy gets out, and then like, it’s just, it’s a rig that’s full of chickens. – Oh, a chicken rig. (laughs) – And you know that that was not a production choice. It was like, you know, what’s the scariest rig we can get? The correct answer is a chicken rig, but they didn’t do that on purpose. – What’s the only rig we have access to? – They probably flagged down the first rig that came down the road once they set up the shot, and it was that dude in a chicken rig and they talked him into being in the movie. I don’t know the story, but that’s what, you can just taste it. – You can taste the chicken. – You can taste that chicken. – Speaking of rigs, have you seen that movie where the guy is being chased by the rig? That’s a horror movie. He’s being chased by the rig the entire time. It’s the guy that– – Just take an exit, dude. – That is, sometimes you’ll see that movie as a TV movie on, and it’s uh, what is the guy’s name? Dennis something. – [Link] Matthew McConaughey. Dennis the big rig. – He is being chased by a rig– – Is that like Thomas the train? – And there’s also a horror movie about a baboon called Baboon, you heard about this one? I just, I love, we gotta make a horror movie, man. We gotta do it. I think that that is the conclusion. – You know. Just because Jordan Peele made a blockbuster horror movie, I feel like now, I can’t even entertain the possibility. – No, but I think the two of us working together, you’ve got the guy who loves to scare people and the guy who loves to be scared. So we work in tandem to dial it in perfectly, and we make sure it’s got all the elements that a great horror movie should have, but it’s super funny, it’s also a musical because that hasn’t happened in a while, right? – No, no. – Come on, let’s do this. – Okay. – Let’s make a horror movie, a horror musical before we die. – A horror musical maybe. – You wanna shake on it? – With comedy. Macomedy. – You wanna shake on it? – Macabre, what about that? – Macabreny, macabredy. – Macabredy. – Macabredy. – And Matthew McConaughey stars in it. (they laugh) Oh crap, we’re gonna do everything we can to get Matthew McConaughey in this thing. – All right guys, I bet you we could get John Mayer in it, he was in Zombeavers. – [Rhett] Yeah, he was, wasn’t he? – [Link] Yeah. – Not one I’d necessarily recommend. – All right, guys, thank you for hanging with us. I hope you weren’t too afraid. If you were listening to this whole thing in like a dark and windowless room with a purring chainsaw or a meat hook dangling nearby, then good for you for hanging in there ’til the end. – Just think about the fact that anything is possible. Someone could have snuck into your house while you were listening to this, and that little creak that you heard downstairs, (floor creaks) That could be a person. Or it could be some sort of supernatural being that is ready to infest your soul. – You’re a jerk, man. – Now try to go back to sleep. – They weren’t trying to go to sleep. – Some of them were. – Some of them were. (laughs) (upbeat electronic music)

Discover more from Searchicality

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading