(upbeat music) – Welcome to Ear Biscuits. I’m Rhett. – I thought I had to sneeze again, but I don’t. – What? – I’m Link, the guy who thought he had to sneeze again but he didn’t. – You sneezed three times a second ago. – Yeah, try to keep it even numbers. This week at the round table of dim lighting, we gotta catch up, brother, because we both went on separate family vacations. I don’t know if I can call mine a vacation. I call it a sight-seeing excursion via RV. – I’m very excited about it, to hear from you and for you to hear from me because we have, we actually, we got in Monday of this week, so coming right back from vacation. We saw each other in the morning, getting ready to shoot Good Mythical Morning. – At the desk. – And we didn’t even really ask. – Well, it’s implied that we shouldn’t. – I just said, “How was it?” But you knew that I didn’t want you to tell me any details. – Right. – It was just, “Good,” that’s all you said. – Right, it’s like nobody, I mean nothing tragic happened that like on a personal level, we need to discuss before we publicly and for monetization purposes like conduct our friendship. – Well, that’s the thing that you gotta remember about Ear Biscuits is that– – I’m not doing this for the money though. I’m doing this for just the love of– – You didn’t have to bring in the monetization. – No, I didn’t. – You don’t want people to think about that. – Nope. – I mean we talk enough about how you need to buy the two t-shirts that we’re wearing right now. – Yeah. – Just let that sort of wash over people. – Right. – But we hold back these conversations so then we can have them raw, unfiltered for the first time. So I’m gonna be finding out details about your vacation that normal friends would have already covered. – Right, but– – But we’ve waited days. I’ve been wondering, you’ve been hinting, because everybody, the whole crew knew you were gonna be in an RV, and everybody was like, “How was it?” – Everybody, everybody, and it was like– – And you haven’t been divulging anything. – But everybody’s asking like, ’cause they know something went wrong. You know, it’s like put Link– – Of course. – And his family in an RV, something’s bound to go wrong. I mean so people aren’t asking because they want it to be good. They’re asking because they want it to be entertaining. – Yeah. – And you know what– – That’s why you got an RV, just so you can talk about it. – I think like, well, Lando, who is eight now, was invited by a friend of his to go on an RV trip with their family. And I’m like, “Son, don’t do it.” – When was this? – You don’t wanna be trapped in a vehicle– – Sorry. – Did your seat just sink? – It did. – Stop distracting me with your seat height. – I’m trying to get to the right place. – I said, “You don’t wanna be trapped “with another family, son, out in a vehicle.” – You’re gonna be trapped with our family. – And that fell through, and he was excited. So then I always wanted to fulfill his dream of going on an RV trip, and it started to become my dream. But what really put it over the edge was this right now, like knowing that like, it’s a beautiful thing to like, to take a risk and okay, put your whole family at recreational risk, because even in the worst case, well, I won’t say worst case. I don’t wanna say somebody dies or gets maimed. But like in a bad case scenario, like the vacation sucks, it still is redeemed by the fact that I can talk about it here. It’s like a friend of mine said, “You know what,” when we moved out to California and he knew that we were in the video-making business, he said, “Remember, “it’s better to have a good story than a good time.” (Rhett laughs) So I kinda live by that. – I still don’t know how I feel about that advice but– – Well, I just like knowing even if something goes raw or sideways, well at least I can talk about– – Goes raw? – Well, you were the one who said raw, like chafing. – Yeah, but I didn’t say it like that. Usually, you say it goes wrong, but I kinda like goes raw. – (chuckles) Yeah, it’s like I thought these underwear would be comfortable, but they’re going raw on me. – (laughs) Oh, gosh. – A lot of chafing. So I rented the RV. I did not purchase an RV. That would be stupid. – Overkill. – That would be stupid. – But a lot of people do purchase it. You don’t want the RV owners to quit listening to Ear Biscuits. – And I ran into a bunch of those people. Well, I crossed paths with a bunch of those people. – Yeah, and they knew that you were a renter. You had it all over your face. – Maybe I’ll get back to that if the more exciting things of my story don’t pan out. – You’re much too fit to be an RV owner. You know what I’m saying? (laughs) – Well, even the RV forums say, “Well, you should rent an RV.” You know, I was starting to wig out, like reading all this stuff leading up to it. They’re like, “Well, you should go on a short trip “just to get a feel for it. “You don’t wanna go on a long–” – Sprint before the marathon. – Yeah, you wanna just like get a feel for everything. You gotta know how to empty the tanks. There’s so many tanks on an RV. I go to pick up the thing and the guy’s walking me through it. And every time he would tell me something like, “The first thing you do is like, now you put “the garden hose on this and you fill it up with water. “Got it?” And then he, and there was a valve beside it and he was like, “And then when you get to the place, “you put their garden hose up to this place “and you connect it semi permanently. “Got it?” – Hmm. – And I noticed a pattern because then, the next thing, he like squats down and there’s like two pull handles and a big pipe. And he was like, “This is where you get rid of your,” what did he call it, “grey water and your blackwater. “And you gotta hook up their hose “to run it into their septic tank “before you pull this valve for the blackwater. “Because if you pull the blackwater valve first, “you’re gonna have your family’s stinky all over you. “Got it?” – Yeah. – And he was like, “Then you put the gray one “and runs the rest of the you know what–” – The blackwater. – “Out of the tube.” – Flushes the system. – “With your sink and your shower water.” – I got it, actually. – Got it? – I got it. – And every single time, he’d be looking down and he’d lock eyes with me and he’d say, “Got it?” And I looked at Christy and I was like, “I have it. “I don’t know why he keeps looking at me.” It’s like I literally thought, “Do I have a stupid look on my face?” – Well, you probably shouldn’t ask that question. (Link laughs) Do you want me to answer it? – Yeah! I mean why did he keep saying, it’s a tick that he had. – Well, his job is explaining things to people and seeing if they got it. – Well, what do you mean? I’m listening to you, man. I’m a college graduate. I’m an internet– – That doesn’t have anything to do with it. A lot of people don’t listen. Got it? And also, you do tend to have a look on your face that, you tend to go into your own world, usually not when somebody’s talking, well a lot of times. (Link laughs) Maybe he only does it with you because there are times that– – You think it’s my face. – No, I don’t think you look stupid. I think you can sometimes have stupid looks. (Rhett and Link laugh) And I think that– – Well– – I think there’s a distinct difference. – Is it like a far-off look? – It’s a disengaged look. – Okay, I’ll own that. – I’ve known you for so long that I know I’d say seven out of 10 sentences, I start and then don’t continue because I recognize that you’re not ready. – You can’t handle the truth? – I recognize that you ain’t gonna got it if I start, if I keep talking. – My mind is– – [Rhett And Link] Somewhere else. – But usually, once I know you’re engaged– – [Link] But when you’re talking about– – And you’re sitting there watching something, at that point, I don’t keep confirming. And then I’m going with the flow. – I was very engaged. I don’t think it was my face because I was nervous about like pulling the dookey shoot at the wrong time. – Yeah, you never wanna do that. – We’re not even inside the RV. There’s gauges in there for water levels and generators and AC units. The fridge won’t work if it’s not level. It’s like all this stuff, you got ins and outs. But I got it and I brought it home. I pulled it into my driveway, and I left it there for a couple of days just to get acclimated. I rented it two days early just so they could start packing stuff in it. The kids could put their shenanigans in there, their knickknacks and what not to be comfortable. And there’d be no excuses for not having everything because you have days to just putting stuff in there. – And not having fun. No excuse for not having fun. – No excuses for that. And then I finally, I come home from shooting, and we’re immediately gonna get in the RV and go. It’s go time. And it is pouring down rain. – Yeah, it was raining a lot. – I mean it doesn’t rain in here. There’s a whole song about it. – Yeah. – Tony! Toni! Tone! – Yeah. ♪ It never rains in Southern California ♪ – Yeah, great album. – Well, Tony! Toni! Tone! is out of touch, touch, touch because it was raining, raining, raining like cats and dogs. You remember. – I do remember. – Because you were leaving for your vacation at the same time. – Just in a normal car though. – Genius. (Rhett laughs) So I hadn’t filled up our tank with water, so I’m filling it up with water, weighing this thing down. I get all my family in there. – You’re filling up the water tank for like the spigot and everything. – Yeah, for flushing the toilet, for– – Just like hooking a hose up to it. – Yeah, and then you unhook the hose before you drive off. But when you get to a site, you can use their water instead of using the water from your tank. – Got it. – [Rhett And Link] Got it. – So I’m like, “Christy, I need you to stand out “in the rain, I’m sorry, and make sure I don’t back into “like my neighbor’s car or something. “I gotta back out of this driveway, “and I’m gonna back up the street into the cul de sac. “And I want you to say, if I can’t see you in a mirror, “if you can’t see me in a mirror, I cannot see you, “and I do not wanna run over you at this juncture. “But I need you to be out there.” – Bad way to start, kill your wife right at the beginning. – So I’m like, she gets out there, I put it in reverse, everybody’s in, the dog’s in. And I’m like, “Alright, Christy, I’m backing up.” So I started backing up, and then all of a sudden, the RV hits something. – Oh, gosh. – And it stops cold. – What in the world did you hit? – At the end of my driveway, it’s at a slope and then the street kinda goes up the other way. – A crown. – It kinda crowns. So there’s a ditch. By the way, with flowing torrential waters of rain going through it like a ditch. Well, the whole back end of the RV just like jammed into the asphalt of my street. – You (mumbles) – (mumbles) Because when I pulled in, I was light. You know what, come to think of it, when I pulled in, there was a little scrapey scrape. – Yes, you had immediately get all the kids to take all the stuff they wanted to take with them and throw it out in the yard. – Start with the heavy stuff, the largest kid! – Get all the people besides you out. – I wasn’t gonna do that because it was pouring out rain. And I was like, “Oh, crap.” I start panicking a little bit, but I gotta hold this inside. I can’t let my family see that I’m crapping a brick and that I’m falling apart here. My wife’s out in the rain. She’s like, “You hit the street!” (laughs) – You hit the street. That’s not how you want your vacation to start. You hit the street. What does that even mean? – And I’m like, “Oh, gosh.” And I’m like, “Solution, solution, solution. “Focus on a positive solution.” – Use that engineering degree. – So I remembered around my house, I just start running over there, and you know how when I start to get panicky and I’m trying to come up with a solution, I’m incommunicative. So I run out– – You stop using real words. – Yeah, I’ll say like the first half of a sentence, like my family hates this, I’m like, so Christy’s tailing me around the house and I’m like, “I got an idea. “I can, I can,” and then I start picking up the extra pavers that the construction company used to like make my driveway, like little individual– – Land bridge. – Like pavers. So it’s not like a concrete driveway. And so I grabbed those and they’re heavy. And then I just started and I’m like, “Hold the gate open.” And I’m like, it was pouring down rain, I’m like, I made probably 10 trips getting these heavy pavers. – Filling in the ditch. – Like to make a, I pull the RV back up and then I started making a path for the back wheels to elevate it. – Yeah. – Like two concrete bridges. And then I mean 30 minutes later, I’m like drenched. I’m sweating, I’m panicking. The kids are coming out and are like, “Are we still going on this trip?” I’m like, “Get back in the RV! “It’s a danger zone out here. “You might get hit. “I don’t know what’s happening.” – This is before you attempted to cross the land bridge. – Yeah. And then I get them all back in, except for Christy. – Is she in a raincoat? – She’s in a raincoat. And I’m like, “Alright, I’m going for it.” And I get in the car and I smash on the break in order to pull the emergency break. And then I’m like, “I’m cranking up the car. “I’m gonna back up slowly over the bridge that I’ve made.” I crank it up, nothing. It’s dead as a doornail. – Oh, gosh. – I’m like, “Gah! “Crap!” I’m like, “I’m a failure.” I was just like, I was this close to just slamming my head against the steering wheel just like (honks). – You can’t let them see you do that. – Just like, “Gather around, neighbors. “Look at the failure father.” – Yeah, you can’t let ’em lose confidence in dad. – He’s been planning an RV trip for months. – And he can’t leave his own home. – And he cannot get out of the driveway. (Rhett laughs) Christy’s hearing the failing crank. It like wont’ turn over. And I couldn’t make eye contact with her. – Yeah, you shouldn’t at that point. – And then I was like, then I looked down and I did not have my foot on the brake. – I was flooring the gas pedal of my RV. – What? – I had it pedal to the metal. I was like, because I wasn’t familiar with the gas– – Is it on a different side of an RV. (Link laughs) What? – No, it’s just it’s all a little further to the left. So what I thought– – You were flooding it. – Yeah, it was flooding it. I thought I was putting my foot smash right in the middle of the brake. – Well, I’m glad it didn’t crank up. – I know. I flooded the engine. – Think about what could have happened. – And so I took my foot off of the gas and I put it on the brake. And I was like, just like a prayer crank. And I cranked it and three times, and it did, and it cranked. – Third time. – Charm. And then I’m like, now I gotta get over this cinder block bridge that I’ve made. – Right. – So I go over that and it’s like it took a little umph, like I didn’t, I couldn’t ease because I built quite a– – Yeah, you gotta get up on the bridge. – I had to be kinda aggressive. And I went up on it and then bam, like it cracks the whole bridge. – I was gonna say it had to crack the bridge. – It cracked the bridge. But I kept going, and then we were off. – You were on the road. Now you gotta get rid of the land bridge. – Well, I had to take another 15 minutes to get rid of the land bridge.. And then Christy’s like, “Go in the house. “You’re soaked. “Just go in the house, change, take a breather. “You know what, you can get a fresh start.” – Get a fresh set of clothes. – Fresh underwear. – Now that you’ve gotten out of the the driveway, it’s time for a clothes change. – Our first hour of our RV trip was in the driveway. – Yeah, that’s good. – Gosh! What an idiot. – Okay, so I’m assuming the trip continued– – Got it? – And you will tell me more about that. – That’s all I’d care to share. And it gets– – And I’m– – It gets better and more interesting after that. – And I’ll tell you a little bit about my trip as well. But first, we wanna let you know, as we hinted at earlier, that both shirts that we are wearing, I’m wearing the constellation Good Mythical Morning tee, and Link is wearing the mythical beast tee. This is not the I am a mythical beast tee. – No. – This is an artist collaboration. – It’s got nine individually designed mythical beasts who are eating certain snacks that when you look closely, there’s a story to tell. – Yeah, and they’re all traditional, well, for the most part, it’s a combination of traditionally recognized mythical beasts and then mythical beasts from the Rhett and Link universe, like the randlern and the cockatrice, and the (mumbles) from our book. – But also a yeti eating an ice cream cone. – Yeah, so– – Mythical.store. – Yeah, get those. – Also, check out our Amazon store. Go to Amazon and– – Amazon.com/mythical. Is that what that is? Yes. – Your shirt is one of my favorites, the constellation Good Mythical Morning shirt. – Kinda hard to see on camera here, but you feel like a star. – And in real life, it’s easy to see how fashionable you will be. Thanks for supporting, internet team. I need all the help I can get, if I haven’t established that. So I got on the road. I got some more stuff to talk about the RV, but I don’t wanna hog, I do wanna hear about your trip, your RV-less trip to Palm Springs. – First thing, we were right out of the driveway just like a bullet. I mean no problem at all. (Link laughs) I didn’t change clothes or anything. I didn’t have to build a land bridge. I just, I backed out and then got on the road. – Kinda like every time you back out of your driveway. – Yeah, yeah. I mean you know my driveway. My driveway is not easy to get out of. It’s steep. – Well, let me tell you, brother. Don’t put an RV up that driveway. – There’s a lot that can go wrong with my driveway. But thankfully, we got right on the road. We went to Palm Springs. You already know this if you follow me on Instagram. Shout out to rhettmc on Instagram. – It doesn’t even make sense to shout. That’s not, you’re like such a dad thing to say. – I want people to know. – Should out to my, like it’s not listening. – I just want people to know. If they wanna know about these things first– – Before they happen. – As they’re happening, rhettmc on Instagram. – Christy did tell me afterwards, she was like, “I thought about pulling up my phone “and taking pictures of that bridge.” – Oh, she should have. – “Or the look on your face.” – Yeah, I would have been into that. – “Get some video.” – I was actually, my family was– – “But I didn’t do it.” – My family was keeping up with your trip a little bit through the various Instagram stories from your kids and your wife. – Oh, yeah? – Yeah. I knew a little bit about what was happening with you. – Christy was texting Jessie, because I was like, “what you doing over there? “You’re not telling anybody about what happened, are you?” – She just said there was some trouble getting out of the driveway. That’s all I knew. I did not know what that meant. I’m glad I got the full story though. You know, I had a great vacation. It was a vacation. It wasn’t too adventurous. We like stayed at a, you know, like a resort and spa situation. You know, mostly the lounging beside the pool. – When you go to Palm Springs, is it like you’re entering 1960 again? That’s how I pictured it. – In a lot of ways, yeah. It’s like the birthplace of mid-century modern architecture. So you go through these neighborhoods and you could easily think, if you didn’t see the modern cars, that it was 1962. One-story houses, super mid-century modern. They all kinda look similar, but then they’ve got the different colored doors or whatever. – Did you Airbnb in one? You could probably do that. – We didn’t. We stayed at a hotel. And there’s like, there’s a whole like movement that pays homage to those times gone by. So lots of neon signs, and there’s like a bunch of old men who drive big old cars. It’s kind of a place for old dudes who like to play golf, like some great golf courses out there, and just a lot of old people. – Yeah, RV parks, as it turns out, because I’ve stayed in three. – I actually passed a number of RV parks. – There were a lot of old people. – You think about it– – Permanent residents of RV parks. – When you know that there’s somebody out there that you know is in an RV, you start seeing RVs. – Yeah, yeah, yeah. I saw a lot of RVs. There’s a lot of RVs on the road. – It’s called RVision. – Yes. (laughs) – It’s what you get when your friend’s in an RV and you’re feelin’ for ’em. – Yeah, I had it all week. – Recreational vision. – As I told you on the last podcast, when we were getting ready to leave, as much as you wanted to, you know, ride atop a mule down into the bottom of the Grand Canyon, and you weren’t able to do that, I did get to ride at least a horse. Again, you already know this if you follow me on Instagram. I won’t shout it out again. You heard it the first time. – Christy handed me her phone and showed me your Instagram picture. – I kinda took it for you. – It was gloating. – I rubbed it in a little bit. Also, I was on a white horse. – With a cowboy hat. – Yeah. And apparently, I had the cowboy hat on backwards. – (laughs) Is that what the comments said? – A few comments (Link laughs) pointed that out. And I’m not 100% sure. I went back and looked at all the photos and I was like, “I don’t know if it was on backwards or not.” – The guy\ probably did it on purpose. Did the cap come with the tour? – No, okay so we– – You didn’t go buy a hat, did you? – I did not buy a hat, no. In the place where we were– – How did you get a hat? – We were getting ready to go, there was the option of wearing a helmet. And of course, the kids have to wear a helmet. And then the adults have the option to wear a helmet. My wife– – Locke wore a helmet on a horse? – Most everyone does. – Okay, that’s smart. – And I think that it is the right choice, but I was like, “I’m not gonna wear a helmet. “I’m gonna wear that cowboy hat that they had up there.” I was like, “Is that cowboy hat also available to wear?” And then he was like, “Yeah.” So I was like, “I’m gonna wear that.” – You know it doesn’t offer similar protection. – The brim is stiff. I think the brim would have offered some protection. And I was like how much trouble can you get on a horse. And then my wife is like, she got mad at me. She was like, “What about what happened to Christopher Reeve?” And I’m like, well, a, he was jumping over things. And b, he had a freaking helmet on. He broke his neck. That’s not what I’m trying to protect myself against. – Hold on. Did you udo research in the midst of your argument to find out that he was wearing a helmet? How would you know that? – Well, I’m assuming he had a helmet on because he was in competition as like a jumper. – Oh, I get it, okay. – And they all wear helmets because their horses are jumping. My horse is going to go on a single wide trail at three miles per hour. I don’t think I need a helmet. That was my decision, caused a little contention. (Link laughs) But anyway, I put the cowboy hat on backwards, got on the white horse like a boss. – I mean– – Now first of all, so we follow the trailer full of our horses. They just kinda looked at us and they like selected four horses. We never saw the horses. We drive to the place where we have access to the trail. And then the horses started getting out, and they started matching us with horses. And so they like say, they bring this little horse out and they’re like, “That’s for you, Shepherd.” And then another horse, “That’s for you, second oldest boy, second boy, Locke. “And then this man, this horse is for you.” And then there’s like, “Okay, what’s the horse? “What’s the last horse?” And they had three brown horses, and then out of the trailer comes this giant white horse. – A giant horsey. – And Jessie says, “Oh, no, don’t put him on a white horse. “As if his ego needs that.” (Link laughs) And so I get on the white horse named Spanky, which really kinda takes the wind out of it. The most notable thing about this trip was our guide who had a very interesting connection to you and what you were experiencing– – My uncle? – At the Grand Canyon. – What? – Well, I’ll tell you that in a second. But quickly– – Why don’t you give me a teaser? That’s not how we do. – ‘Cause that comes a little bit later. – Okay. – This guy, Tony was his name, former bull rider. – Tony of Tony! Toni! Tone!? – No, that would be too perfect. – Okay. – And this– – Former bull rider. – I knew right off the bat this guy was a character, just a character, had this like Midwest cowboy kinda accent that’s not quite Southern but you know, it’s just interesting. – Grub and, not paddy wagon. What’s it called? Chuck wagon. – I shook his hand. – Yeah. – And it was like he had just put his hand into like a, you know, like a– – A grinder? – Belt sander, everyday for three hours. I mean it was just amazing the way his hand felt. Like every knuckle is big as a cue ball. You know what I’m saying? It was just (grunts). (Link laughs) And then he starts talking a little bit, and I’m like, you know, “How’d you get into this?” And he was like, “Well, I was a bull rider first.” He’s an older guy. And I was like, “Oh, really, a professional bull rider?” I was like, “How many bones did you break?” He’s like, “47.” He was like so ready. He was so ready with that, you know. – Yeah, yeah, yeah. – He had been talking about like the geology of the place and the history, and it was really interesting. But then once we got him on talking about himself, it was when the entertainment began. – Oh, yeah? – Again, you were going three miles per hour on horses that incidentally, stopped and want to eat everything. – Really? – And he was like, “Yeah, it’s like a salad bar for ’em “out here,” and they’re eating every plant. – Even in the desert? – Yeah, in the desert. It was going through the desert, and Indian Canyon, this is what they call this– – Some elevation change or? – A little bit but not a lot. It didn’t like get cold or anything. But it is beautiful, and you like go into the canyons where the palm trees have been growing for years since the Spanish came and planted them in the 1600s or whatever. That’s how palm trees got to California. I learned that. They’re not native. – Huh, learned that from a bull rider. – But anyway, this dude, and I don’t want it to get, I don’t wanna dive, he wasn’t even necessarily super comfortable talking about all the stuff he ended up telling us. Like this dude almost– – You got him crying or something? – No, he just doesn’t like to talk about himself, but we kept asking so many questions. – He’s a cowboy, Rhett. They’re known for not doing that. – I know, but we asked questions and he kept answering, and he had these amazing stories. This dude– – Reluctant storyteller. – He had a story about falling off of a cliff and the horse fell on him. He broke every rib. – Gah! – Every single rib. – Ugh. – And then he had to be, he laid there for an hour. It was in Yellowstone. – Yellowstone. – Waiting for the bear guides who were out there patrolling to come get him and put him on a horse and take him back. He had another experience where he was clinically dead for a number of minutes and saw some very interesting things. He has recurrent dreams where he has these dreams that’ll happen, and they’ll happen like, he’s like, “I dreamed this 18 nights in a row,” and then he tells what it is. Just an amazing– – Like what? I mean like wicked stuff? – No, just interesting stuff where the very specific things happen. And he’s being followed by multiple people on horseback, and he turns around and he can’t make out their faces. And then they all start flying and he’s like, “Then I wake up, and then it happened “every night for 18 days in a row.” And then we’re like, “Well, what’s your interpretation?” He’s like, “I’m still figuring that out.” And you know who he reminded me of? – Pour his guts out to you. – He reminded me of– – Me? – Not you. Jack Palance’s character from City Slickers. Curly, was that his name? – Well, I haven’t seen the movie, but I do think it’s Curly. – Oh, gosh. You’ve gotta watch that movie. In fact, as we were out there, Jessie said the same thing. She was like, “We gotta watch City Slickers with the kids “because this guy is him.” – He won like best supporting actor. – Yeah, but anyway, just to, it was a treat. It was an absolute treat to have this guy tell us this stuff. – Did you try to ask him maybe could the horses go faster? – (sigh) I thought about that at the time. But what I did is he said, “If you want the horses to go faster,” like if your horse falls behind because he was leading, “then just give it a nice little kick.” It’s not even really, it doesn’t hurt ’em. – A signal. It’s a signal. – Just a signal. You just kinda put your heels into their side belly there. And so I got, my horse was taking a break to eat, which he did a lot. Spanky was hungry. And Jessie was in front of me. She got a little bit away. And then I kinda did the little kick, and Spanky got moving. And when your horse gets moving, you get moving. – Like, like this? – It was uncomfortable in the nether regions. – Okay. – Like I felt like I missed something. I didn’t get a tutorial on how to like protect the boys once the horse starts galloping. – Your boys swell up to the size of Curly’s knuckles. – (laughs) And so I was like, I know that there’s gotta be a technique for this because I’m, every cowboy doesn’t have bruised balls. I mean they figure it out somehow. – They remove ’em. – Yeah, exactly. – They keep ’em in a jar. – All cowboys are castrated before– – No, no, they put ’em back in after. – Oh, like marbles. – It’s like if you– – Like a sack of marbles. – Right, a small sack of marbles. – I don’t have a sack of marbles situation, so I was in a little bit of pain. Of course, it doesn’t natter because they don’t work anymore. – Saddlebags, it’s what saddlebags are for. – Now I will say this. Here’s the connection– – Yeah. – Here’s the connection. – Bring this back to me. – First of all, if you are gonna go do this trip– – I’m a little jealous, but I would wanna go faster. – He also was like family friends with Garth Brooks’s family. – Well, he’s a cowboy. – Because their farms, his dad’s farm and then like the Garth Brooks– – In Oklahoma? – No, it’s like Wyoming is where they grew up– – Butted up against each other? – Butted up against each other. So he’s got like Garth Brooks growing up stories too. We were all, “You should write a book.” He was like, “Ah, I don’t wanna do that.” Anyway, so if you take Tony, get Tony’s tour. – This is like a Travelocity moment. – Yeah, but the thing is like he may not want you, you know, he may not wanna tell everybody these stories. So don’t ask Tony, just see if he wants to talk about it. Now he said, I said my best friend and business partner is currently in the Grand Canyon. – The conversation went to me. I appreciate that. – And he wanted to take the mules down into the Grand Canyon. – Yeah. – I said, “You every done that?” He says, “27,000 miles worth.” (Rhett and Link laugh) – Really? – Yeah, yeah. – 27,000 miles! – 27,000 miles of experience doing that. – I’ll tell you, that’s more than up and down once, I’ll tell you. – Yeah, he’s been al over the place. He says, “My good friend–” – Over three Empire State buildings worth of height in that Grand Canyon. – His friend is the buy who is currently in charge of the program, holds the world record of the number of miles into the Grand Canyon on a mule. It’s like 42,000. – He’s logging a lot of miles. – And he said there’s an 18-month waiting list. – Yeah. – And then he told me about the lodge down at the bottom that you stay in. – You go down on a mule and then there’s a lodge down there, and you spend the night in like a camping scenario. – Yeah, it sounds amazing. – And then, because you can’t do it all in one day. And then you ride the mule back up. And I heard that of all the people that die every year in the Grand Canyon, it’s never because of a mule ride, never. They’re so reliable. – The mules are surefooted. – They’re so reliable. – Right. – I did see the mules. – You saw ’em. – In a corral, but I did not go to the top of a ride Angel Falls trail or whatever it’s called, the one that they take everyone down. – He told me– – I really wanna go back. My family won’t do it. I’d love for the two of us to go back. – Oh, I’ll totally do it. And we have the hookup now. – Oh, yeah? – Yeah, he said, “Call me.” – Skip the waiting list? – Ah, you know, we might be able to work something out. But he gave me– – Both of us on one mule. – Yeah, we might get a discount mule, but he did say, the last thing and– – Wear your hat backwards. – I wanna get back to your trip. He said that the astronauts, after they went on the moon, if you believe that kind of thing, when they got back from the moon trip, they stayed at that lodge at the bottom of the Grand Canyon for a month. – Why? – To be completely out of the limelight, to be basically in a place where the press could not get to them and they could decompress. And he’s like, “A lot of people know that, but I know it “because I know the guys who run that camp.” – Wow. – “Everybody, that’s what they say. “The astronauts stayed down there.” – When you need to decompress like an astronaut– – The bottom of the Grand Canyon. – The bottom of the canyon. – So anyway, that was my highlight. I have another funny story that I will get to, but I wanna, back to you, Link. – Of course, I’d seen the Grand Canyon because on our mythical road trip where we drove a U-Haul, pulling my mini van all the way across the country and we had, these videos are on the Rhett and Link channel and actually, the Good Mythical Morning channel too where we had like fan meetups at rest areas as we drove Interstate 40 all the way across the country. What was that, seven years ago now? – 2011, yeah. – But we took a detour off 40 to the Grand Canyon. It was like, hey, we didn’t plan it. We’re like, “Let’s see the Grand Canyon.” We did for maybe an hour. So I’d seen it. So when we finally get there in the RV, you Know, the kids have space. It’s nice. I’m going 65 miles an hour with a speed limit of 70 because you really can’t push this thing that hard, but there’s a bed above the cab. And even though it’s probably not that safe, it’s kinda like you not wearing a helmet on a horse. – Also, there’s a different speed limits for those vehicles. – No, you’re talking, if you’re pulling a trailer, if you have three axles, you have to drive 55. – Oh. – But not the RV. So they each had space to be on their screen. Jade was nervous. She sat with Christy in the passenger’s seat the whole time. – So they don’t stay buckled up inside there. – No, the sign in the RV says stay buckled up but I knew– – But what’s the fun in being in an RV if you’re buckled up. – Yeah, I knew that was never gonna happen. I just had to be careful. So we had a really good experience in the RV driving up there. Wherever you stop, you’ve got everything at your disposal. – It’s with you. – Including the only thing you need to dispose of, a toilet or a trashcan. Like you don’t have to get out for anything except to stretch your legs. I really like that. So the first night, we stayed in Kingman. – Kingman. – Just a town off Route 66, got there after dark after leaving so late. I was delayed. Did I mention that? Get up the next morning, and we had driven like five hours. We drove the other almost three hours to the Grand Canyon. We got the pass and we drive. The thing about the Grand Canyon, you remember when we went there, it was, the elevation change is imperceptible. You’re basically flat for all intents and purposes, driving up all the way through the gate to the parking lot that is, you get out of the car and then you walk through some trees, and then you’re a the rim of the Grand Canyon. So it’s just like you park the car and you get out. Now I walked ahead, and we even took Jade because I knew you could take a dog on the rim trail. And I’m like running ahead so that I got to the edge before the family. And I turned around because I like, I’d already seen it, but they had never seen the Grand Canyon. So I got there, I turned around in order to watch their reaction, the coming up to the edge of the Grand Canyon to see it for the first time. – You had a camera? – No, man, mental picture. – Mental picture, got it. – ‘Cause if you’re filming something, you’re not really experiencing it. – Hmm, I have a technique for that though. – You could just film, you could have it down there– – You gotta hold it and then you gotta be in the moment. – Right, right. – But you can’t be in on the screen. You gotta look and film at the same time. – We actually took a helicopter tour. And the moment that we came over the rim, that’s the big moment in a helicopter tour, when the bottom drops out and you’re over the freaking Grand Canyon. I filmed that while looking out the window. – Hmm, good one. – A decent footage that I’ll never watch again. But this is a special moment, so I turned around and the family’s like coming up. They’re actually not that excited. – Well, they’ve been in an RV all day. – Yeah. But they hadn’t seen the Grand Canyon yet. And then they get to the edge and it was, that was the moment for me, was seeing like, I mean even Lincoln who like, he’s hard to faze, man. You know, middle child, he’s just like, “I’m just here. “Don’t demand too much of me,” is kind of his outlook on life. I could tell he was like, “Dang.” – This is real big. – Real big. It’s deeper than I thought. – It’s grand. – That’s what he said, “It’s deeper than I thought it would be.” But I could tell that he was kinda like blown away. So that was pretty cool. And then I turned and I looked at Christy, she was crying. (Rhett chuckles) Like she was like, “I’m crying. “I’m literally looking at something in nature that has just “hit me over the head so hard that I’m crying.” So that was pretty cool. – [Rhett] Yeah. – Even having seen it once for a couple of hours, and I think we went to the exact same spot where you and I went when we first saw over the south rim. It’s amazing. I mean it’s just the pictures just don’t do it justice, man. – You gotta see it in person. – So it’s pretty mind blowing. And we did do a helicopter tour, which ah, it was okay. I mean it was awesome, what we saw, but like the pilot didn’t really have anything to say. – He didn’t give you a play by play like the guys in Kauai? – Yeah, the guy in Kauai was awesome. Remember that? – Oh, yeah. – That was awesome. And like they were timing it with like Jurassic Park music. – We had different– – Oh, we had different guys. – Different guys, but my guy was incredible. He knew all the stuff. – This guy wasn’t– – They play the music at the right time. – There was some music supposedly at the right time, but when we’re about to go over the rim, there’s like an eight-minute flight before you get to the Grand Canyon. And the whole time, Lando’s upset because his headset microphone won’t work. So when he talks, he can’t hear himself and no one can hear him. And so over the course of that like eight-minute trip, like he just, it just, he got more upset, more upset, more upset. – While you’re on the helicopter. – Yeah. And so then I’m getting upset. I’m like, “This is the moment.” It cost a lot of money going on a helicopter ride. – Oh, yeah. – And I’m like, “This is the moment,” is what I’m thinking. And like he’s about to blow his top because he wants to talk And he’s concerned about something and we don’t know what it is. And like he’s talking to Christy, and I’m like (grunts). And then I’m like, we’re about, I have to salvage this so that everybody can enjoy the moment we go over the edge. – Yeah. – So here I am being dad of the year like snatching the headset off of Lincoln and off of Lando and like switching them and like saying, “Oh, you use it. “He’s not talking anyway.” And there’s other people in the helicopter with us. – Oh, yeah, clearly. – Another couple and the pilot, and I’m showing my tail. Like, “Just take his headset. “You take his because you’re not talking anyway. “What is it that you wanna say?” – And then what did Lando say when he got the headset on? – He said, “What does terrain mean?” (Rhett laughs) Because the pilot had said the word terrain eight minutes earlier. – Yeah, right, right, right. What does terrain mean? – It’s tearing him up inside. – (laughs) He had to know. – I got no context for this. – I’m like, “We’re going. “Just look out the window!” – What the heck is terrain? – I told him, and I calmed down, I was like I told him. And I did get to film going over the edge and I’ll never watch it back, but– – Well, you know, it’s interesting because– – It’s really awesome. – I know that Christy was a little nervous about getting on the helicopter. And even though she did it in Kauai, so having done it once, she was less nervous. – She hates flying in general. – But she sent me, we have a little group text with our families and a few other friends. – She’s like sending text to the group– – She’s sending a text– – Just like, “Alright, we’re about to go on this helicopter.” – We’re about to do the helicopter. And so then, our friend Caroline was like, “Is it windy?” And she was kinda just screwing with you a little bit. But then– – Yeah, we’re like, “Well, it was windy, and they delayed it a few hours, “but it’s cleared up now.” – And then you guys went on the trip and you took a picture of yourself and like, “We’re all fine,” so everybody knew that you were okay and you had landed. At that point, Caroline said, “Good, I’m glad because a couple of weeks ago, “my friend took the helicopter tour at the Grand Canyon “and the helicopter in front of them fell out of the sky “and crashed and exploded, and everyone died.” (Rhett laughs) – And I’m like, and I’m reading that. – And you thought it was a joke, and it wasn’t. – It wasn’t a joke. – I looked it up. Not everybody died. I think more than half of the people in the helicopter died, and then some people got out. But that’s crazy that happened like in the last month. – And I was trying to figure out is she a good friend for not telling us or for– – Yeah, I mean, because you still would have done it. I mean it’s a freak accident. – Oh, I would have– – It happens. Helicopters are not particularly safe, but they are relatively safe. – And this one, when the wind picked up, it did, I was nauseous almost the whole time, yeah, because it was like, it was waggly. It wasn’t going– – They get in a side angle. – It wasn’t going up and down. It was like waggling, and that was disconcerting. – I wouldn’t have done well with that because I get sick in that situation. – Yeah, but it was also, I mean we went over the widest part of the Grand Canyon, and there’s a, it’s got a 90-degree turn in it right there. There’s lots of turns in it but– – How close did you go, how far did you go down? – At this point, we didn’t go down into it. At another point, we went down just a little bit where you’re just below the surface of the– – But they don’t like go all the way down to the river. – No, no, no. – They could, probably. – At other places, like my dad took a helicopter ride from Vegas to the western end. And they landed and had a meal at the, by the Colorado River and then took off. – You could just go to Vegas and do it. – Yeah, and it doesn’t cost any more money than what I paid to just go eight minutes from the place I mean they talked about, there’s one plateau in the middle of the Grand Canyon, this particular place that’s like sacred for the Native Americans that settled there. And they would climb the sheer cliffs of this plateau in the middle of this part of the Grand Canyon and have ceremonies there and parties and such. That was pretty awesome. That stuck with me, just picturing that happening. – Did you see the glass walkway? – No, that’s on the Indian reservation that’s in the western end of the Grand Canyon. It’s not in the south rim part. The north rim was still closed because there was snow, and we flew over all of that. – Good. – It’s 1,000 feet higher, the north rim versus the south rim. I mean it was fabulous. The RV life was pretty good. – So you’re sleeping in the RV at night. – Yeah, it was a good bonding experience for our family. – What’s the food situation? – We ate dinner out. Like we’d walk from the RV place to like dinner. But like lunch and then snacks and stuff, we’d eat in our RV, and breakfast. – Breakfast? You’re cooking breakfast in the RV, on a stove? – Christy made, yeah, gas stove. She made her signature scrambled eggs, cheese, and sausage that she would send with us when we’d go camping. We had that one morning, yeah. – That seems fun. – It’s good. I mean it’s good. – Did it have like a wing that kinda goes out and expands and gets a little bit bigger? – No, mine didn’t have that. It had one bed in the back, and then the couch became a futon bed. And then the table and two bench seats, like a booth configuration, became a bed. And then there was a bed area over the cab. – I don’t think I could do this with my kids because my kids cannot keep anything clean or straight. – I was cleaning, I was straightening and cleaning stuff three times a day. – Your kids like, my kids– – To continue to live in that thing. – We had like adjoining rooms at this place, because I can’t share a room with them. That would kill ’em all. So I can’t share a room. I have to be in a separate place. – Try giving ’em headsets. – But then, I go in there and it’s like the way that they’ve unpacked is they’ve just taken the suitcase and just turned it over. – They drop it? – They haven’t. They say that that’s what they, they say they haven’t done that, but it’s like a wild animal came in and got in the suitcase and then busted its way out of the suitcase, and that’s what was left. Like that’s how they unpack. – Yeah, it’s tight quarters in there. I mean if I had seven more inches, I’m talking about height, I wouldn’t, if I was as tall as you– – Yeah, clarify that. – It would be difficult. I mean I took a shower in the RV, and it was– – Not fun? – It was rather cramped, and the water was not, I mean it got like in the 20s at night, so the water was very cold. And the heater took the edge off of it, but it was still a cold shower and a tight shower. – It’s funny you mentioned the shower and the RV because probably, the time you were experiencing that, I was having the exact opposite experience in the spa at the resort. – Oh, now you’re going to gloat about the spa. – Because this is where another funny story occurred. – Okay. – So we both like a good massage. We’ve established that. – I love a massage. My calling in life is to be a massage critic. Like that’s what I need to be doing really. – Look, I don’t know if there’s a market for that but– – So I just travel around and give people notes on the massages they’ve given me. That’s what I wanna do with my life. – I got the best massage I’ve ever gotten. This woman went so aggressive. I mean it was like, I told her, she said, “How aggressive?” And I said, “I want you to go hard, “and then I’ll tell you to back off.” And I didn’t tell her to back off and I should have. – There were points when you had to concentrate on your breathing? That’s a good sign. – Oh, yeah, I was wincing. If you could have seen the face through the hole, if there was a hole cam on the bottom of the table– – We had one on Buddy System. – Yeah, you would have been, but it wasn’t, I had a great massage then– – Man, you rode a horse and you got a good massage? – I had a great time. – Man. – Then after the massage, I like to use the facilities of the spa. You know, you get access to the spa. You get access to the steam room, the sauna, the plunge pool, the hot tub. – Oh, yeah. I thought you meant like take a dump. – Well, no, yeah. I mean I may have done that as well, but that’s now what I was referring to. – Do that before the massage. – Yeah, but– – You don’t want ’em pushing in a certain place then it’s the release valve. – There’s few things that I enjoy more than just walking around a spa naked. You know, there’s just something that– – It’s a men only area. – Of course, yeah. And I don’t go into the co-ed area naked. I would get a quick escort out. – Reprimand. – And so I just love the feeling of freedom, and there’s just something about just being just a human with nothing else except a wedding ring. And you know– – It is very healthy, I believe. – And I think it’s a healthy exercise, and you just feel like you’re one with nature except you’re still in a spa in a resort. You’re not out in the woods. But I don’t like to have conversations while naked with other naked men. – Oh. – That is not my idea of a good time. – No. – And I thought that this was kind of the spa code. You know, when we’re naked, let’s not talk. Maybe I was wrong. – Well, maybe if you’re submerged and there’s the bubbles but– – No, no. Once you’re in the hot tub, you can talk. But like next to each other at lockers, other than excuse me– – Yeah. – You know or, “My locker’s there,” but especially when you’re in the sauna, okay? So I love a sauna, love it. Love a steam room too. I like going in between. But I’m in the sauna, just a dry sauna where you can see, you know, there’s no steam obscuring anything in there. And so I’m just sitting in there on a towel, of course, but I’m on the towel. I’m not in the towel, I’m out in all my glory. – Well– – The Rhettster is on full display. – Okay. – And shout out, rhettmc on Instagram. I don’t post those kinds of pictures, but I just thought it was a good time to shout out. (laughs) – ‘Cause it always is. – Because they’re censored on Instagram. I couldn’t do it. I could probably tweet naked pictures, but I’m not that kind of guy. This is just for me. (laughs) So I’m sitting in there on my towel, and then a man comes in and sits down. He’s also naked. He doesn’t sit right next to me. He sits catty-corner, you know, 90 degrees. I could tell that he had, he was about to say something. I was like, “No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.” “How was the massage?” – Oh, how was the massage? – And I’m thinking, “Is this guy like–” – A manager? – The CEO of the resort? (Link laughs) Is he trying to get my opinion? – That’s interesting because that’s what I wanted to do, give my opinion, but not in that setting. – And I said, “It was great.” – Period. – Period. – Yeah. – I did not ask a question back to him. He volleyed to me, and I just caught the ball. You know what I’m saying? I did not volley it back. – It’s like you swallowed it. – I mean I answered him, and then the questions came, “Where are you from, whatcha doing here?” And I’m like, “Oh, we’re having this conversation. “Okay, alright.” – How many bones have you broken? – And so– – 27,000. – It doesn’t take a few, it takes only a few questions to get to the point where now I’ve gotta talk about what I do for a living. And then there’s this weird moment in which I’m like, if I say the right combination of answers, then he’s gonna just go on the internet and look at what I do. And now, he’s gonna have this picture of the man that he spoke to naked as this dude that is on the internet. And that just makes me feel weird. – The comments could be weird. So I told him I was a high school principal. I’m just kidding, I’m just kidding. (laughs) I’m just kidding. I wish I had done that because I told him what I did. – You could have had me. I would have totally believed you. You coulda spun that yarn for at least five minutes. – I told him what I did. I mentioned the name of the show. – Dang, you exposed yourself emotionally. z – I totally exposed myself in every way I could. I was completely naked– – He was like, “Well, let me write that down. “Well, I’m gonna have to do that later.” – So I learned that he was not just a guest. He was a local. He lives there and he has access to this particular spa just being a local. – This is where he meets you. – Yeah, well, this is where he talks to people. – Okay. – And a friendly guy, great guy, great conversation other than the fact that we were both naked – He’s listening right now. – Potentially. – Shout out to his Instagram. That would be appropriate. – Yeah, I didn’t get that. I don’t even know his name. So then, two days later– – He’s asking you all these questions. You didn’t ask him any? – No, no, I learned what the does for a living. – But you don’t know his name. – I can’t remember his first name. He’s from Canada. He comes down to this, he’s in finance. – A few days later, you’re telling me you ran into him. – Two days later, I go back, I get a day pass for the spa because I’m like, “Ooh, I gotta get back in that sauna. “Love it, love the steam room.” – Love the conversation? – So now I’m sitting out next to the plunge pool in a robe, not naked at this point because it’s a little different when you’re out there next to people. – Right, right. – There he is again. He comes out to the jacuzzi, gets naked, gets into the jacuzzi. He’s five feet from me. I’m like, “Is he gonna talk to me now?” He saw me naked and told him the name of the show. He says, “I watched your show.” (laughs) – Yeah? And was he talking about the sauna? – No, he was like, “The one with the guy from Walking Dead, with the pudding.” – Oh, yeah? – He said, “Is that what you do every time?” I was like, “No, we don’t eat pudding every time.” He’s like, “No, do you have like a guest?” I was like, I can of explained, but the whole time, I’m just thinking, “Did you think of me differently “when you watched the show and you’ve seen me naked?” – That would have been a good question. – But I didn’t ask that. – Oh, you didn’t? You felt weird, man. You gotta go full– – You’re saying that I should just completely exposed myself and not worry and just– – He was right. – He doesn’t care. – He was right. – He doesn’t care. This is my problem. – You were not fully developed in your nakedness. – I gotta get more naked more often. – You gotta get more naked more often. You gotta be conversational. – Okay. Assignment taken, challenge accepted. – You gotta do it. When I was in a similar situation, I was the first person in the hot tub area and I just had my robe on. This is before getting a massage in Puerto Vallarta. And I got naked, I get in the hot tub, turn on the bubbles. It’s a big one, probably could have held eight to 10 men. – Eight to 10 men. – I was the only one in it. And then I’m like, you know what, I’m gonna express my dominance over this place. – I thought you were gonna express your anal glands or something like that. I didn’t know what was coming. – This was before my massage. I was just loosening up. So instead of sitting on the bench seats at the edge, I get in the middle of the round hot tub and I just proceed to do stretching and yoga, just there like warrior pose. And then guys start coming in. And then I’m like– – You were stretching? – I’m stretching. I’m like, you know what, I’m gonna be the weird naked guy standing in the middle of the hot tub stretching. – Yeah, that’s weird. – And no one’s gonna join me, and nobody joined me or had a conversation with me. So I recommend that next time. – That’s a way to shut it all down real fast. – Yeah, next time you’re naked and don’t wanna talk to somebody, just go into the warrior pose. – Okay. – Like that. – I’ll do that. – We gotta extend the time a little bit because I gotta tell you one more thing that happened. Grand Canyon was awesome. Our tour guide for, we took another tour which was like, it was called a Jeep tour because we were in kind of a Jeep, but it wasn’t that– – Kind of a Jeep tour. – On Travelocity, they said you gotta get Verner, he’s a German guy, so I requested him. He was awesome. I mean you gotta read your Travelocity reviews before you start booking tours and stuff like that because you probably could have heard about your Curly guy. – Yup. – And you should leave a review to that end. But everyone’s recommending this guy. He was awesome, teaching the kids about geology, how the Grand Canyon was made, taking us to secret spots, seeing elk, just wild elk. – You saw elk? – Yeah, ’cause we went on these dirt roads leading up to the Grand Canyon and you could stop and see elk around there. It was awesome. – And then we’re talking to him and he’s like, “Well, are you leaving? “When are you leaving?” I told him, “Well, we’re gonna stop in the RV “halfway getting back to LA.” And he said, “Well, you should take, “depending on where you’re gonna stop, “you should take old Route 66 for a little bit “and go to the Grand Canyon Caverns.” – The Grand Canyon Caverns. – Grand Canyon Caverns. – Never hard of that. – Never heard of that. Some of the largest dry caverns in North America, maybe in the world. Typically, a cavern is wet like, you know, the Linville Caverns and all that type of stuff where it’s like stalactites and stalagmites. – Dripping. – We decided to take him up on his offer. So first of all, I’m driving on Route 66 in an RV. I am dad-ing so hard. I just felt awesome. I had cleaned out the dookey shoot the morning before we left, and I did it right. Nothing spewed anywhere it shouldn’t go. – Good. – I was wearing gloves. – You got it. – I had on a hat and a jacket and boots, and all the dookey ran out of our RV, the pee and the shower and sink water. – Hold on, so you were dookeying in there. – Yes. I did not take your advice. Very early on, I found out I’m not gonna stop and go on public toilets when I have one right here. And I had these tablets– – I told you not to do this. – And I called your bluff, buddy, ’cause I did some research and I got these blue tablets that you put down in the tank before you start doing number two down there. There was no stopping the kids from doing it, and I had a little stomach issue. – Oh, god, alright. – And so I just, the convenience was unmatched. – And it worked? You didn’t smell dookey– – It worked. It worked. – Okay, well– – I had to empty that thing out twice on our excursion. – Well, so much for not dookeying in an RV. – It was fine. – That’s the first thing I’m gonna do next one I get on one. – It really was fine. You had a bad experience in that trailer and it doesn’t translate to my experience. – But we had a bad experience in the RV going across the country 10 years ago. – That’s true. – And in a bus one time. – Gotta put the tablets in. I don’t know how long you can drive on Route 66. I mean it’s like a two-lane road before there was a four-lane road. If you’ve seen Cars, you understand that like this was like the way, man. You could take your car and go across America from Chicago to LA. – Mm-hmm. – So this particular part, we detoured off Highway 40 in order to go to Grand Canyon Caverns. And being on Route 66 was pretty fun. It was pretty awesome. It was kinda desolate. It’s what you think it would be. And Google Maps tells me, okay, pull over here. Here’s Grand Canyon Caverns. And it’s just no signage. It’s just a dirt road, and there’s a dumpster with trash everywhere. – This is the largest dry caverns in America and this is what the entrance looks like? – And I was at the wrong entrance. – Oh, good. – But then I get back on the road and I go another mile and I’m like, it just looks like gas station but it says Grand Canyon Caverns Inn. And then you drive through this thing, and it looks like it’s still 1960, like old service station. And then you drive about two miles down this like patchy paved road, and you get to just a one-story building with like four or five cars parked in front of it. And it says in huge letters on the side of the building, Grand Canyon Caverns 2018. – It gives you the year. – I come to find out that every year, they change the year on the front of it because people like to take pictures in front of it. There’s like a huge dinosaur that looks like it’s from a miniature golf set, miniature golf location. – Of course. – This is like straight out of 1960s tourist trap, and it hasn’t, they don’t have enough money to like change it that much. And I’m pretty excited. The kids are looking at me like, “Where are we?” Christy’s like thinking, “If we go in here, are we ever gonna come out?” And this is not the caverns. – That’s a good feeling to have. – This is just the buildup. You get in there, there’s some people eating at the diner, like eating the biggest pieces of pie I’ve ever seen. And then there’s a gift shop that has the saddest 30-year-old knickknacks you could ever imagine. There was a magnet from Topsail Island, North Carolina that you could buy. It was weird, man. There were like stuffed scarecrowish type people, you know, if you took like country clothes and put ’em, like stuffed ’em full of hay like a scarecrow, like put ’em up on chairs up above. It’s hard to explain, but it’s just weird. – Yeah, I don’t understand. – You don’t wanna get locked in here at night. And then you go to the far end of it and there’s an elevator. You pay your money, and I paid the money. We went back into the parking lot and ate our lunch, and then they gave us poker chips. And with these poker chips, we were able to get in the elevator with a tour guide and go down 200 feet, 2,000 feet, go down 2,000 feet into these caverns. – What? – And we start hearing the story of 1927, a guy was riding his horse and it was pouring down rain, and he stops on the way to where he was going to like under a tree. And he realizes that all the rainwater’s running in this hole and it’s not filling up. And he comes back the next day with his brother, his little brother I think, and he ties a rope around him and lowers him. – Always lower the brother, not yourself. – The younger brother, with a lantern down into this cavern. The guy thinks that he finds gold. There’s like all types of shiny ores down there, and he thinks he’s hit the jackpot. And they buy like all this land up while they’re like getting samples of what it is they’ve got, which turns out to be nothing except a big hole, actually a pretty huge hole. – It sounds like it. – So he starts charging like 25 cents to lower people on a rope down into this thing in order to just explore these caverns, which we were now walking around in. And it’s like there’s no stalactites or stalagmites. I mean millions of years ago, like the limestone deposits were eaten away as the water started to run through this thing, and it formed these huge caverns which fresh air comes in from the Grand Canyon. – From the bottom. – Yeah. – And then comes up to the top. – Yeah. There’s no water flowing through this thing now. It’s sealed off, so it’s dry, and nothing can live in there. And they found like a bobcat that died in the, they did some carbon dating on it. They kept it down in there and he said, “This bobcat died in like the mid 1800s,” and it still was like preserved like a piece of taxidermy because there’s nothing happening down there. There’s a hotel room down there. – No. – Well, it’s just there’s a section where they built a deck in this big open room. And there’s a bed and a television, and they’re rented out as a room. – To this day? – Yeah. – I love this. – [Link] I knew you would love it. – I love underground stuff. – I knew you would love it. And then they’ll do like spelunking. Jacob has a picture there. That’s like the huge main room. There’s all these different rooms. – My gosh, how did I not know about this? – I mean it’s all kind of touristy and janky. Like they built a bar down there, and you can pay like– – Heck, yeah. – And the whole time they’re– – The good old days when you could just find a hole in the ground and build a bar down there without somebody coming along and saying, “You can’t do that.” – Oh, and they’ll also give you spelunking gear and send you down into like these little holes where you can like shimmy around in your belly and go into other rooms, like if you can make it. And there was this one family doing that– – How many other people are here? – The mom was too scared. There were like five other people in our 45-minute tour, and there were maybe eight cars in the parking lot. – How much does the tour cost? – For five of us, I think it ended up being 90 bucks. – Wow, that’s good. – There was a mom who had the spelunking gear on but she wasn’t in there. I was like, “Did you come out of that hole?” And she was like, “I chickened out. “I didn’t wanna go down in that one.” And then she looked at me again and she was like, “Are you on the internet?” (Rhett laughs) She’s like, “You have to wait here “until my daughter comes out of this hole.” – But you weren’t naked at the time. – No, I was fully clothed. – Okay, fully clothed. – I took the tour clothed. – Good, good idea. – But I’m just bragging a little bit that I was recognized, thanks to my internet celebrity, from a mom of a girl who I had to wait– – To come out of a hole. – To come out of the hole in order to take a picture with me in this dry cavern. We get to this one place and they have a replica, a hairy replica of a giant prehistoric sloth. – This place is amazing. – Because they found the complete skeleton of a sloth down in there, and they sent it to a museum. And then in exchange for giving them the skeleton, the museum sent them a hairy replica of the sloth which they put in the cavern. – That’s better than the bones, man. – And you can see where, it was actually a baby giant sloth. – [Rhett] Oh, okay. – But it was still probably I mean 15 feet tall. – [Rhett] What? – And it was, you can, they said if you look up there, you can see where it scratched the walls. – To try and get out. – [Link] Trying to get out. – Very slowly. – And it died. Yes, slowly scratching the walls. And they know what because they found the claw, which they have on display in a case up, up above along with– – This is like the coolest place in America. – A Native American flutist who did an audio recording down there. So there’s like pictures of that guy. – Did you get that CD? – No, I took a picture of it. – Oh, good. – Ben Blessing I think is the guy’s name. – Ben Blessing? – I took a picture of it because I was like, “We gotta put that character in a movie.” And then I started to think, “This whole thing is a movie.” – Hole thing? Is that the name of the movie? Hole thing. – What I’m unabashedly pitching to you, I wanna take you there, Rhett. I don’t want you to believe me yet, but we need to turn this cavern into a movie. And it’s gonna be set in two different times. I’m dead serious about this. – [Rhett] Okay. – It’s gonna cut back and forth between– – The discovery– – The discovery of the cave and the present day when this washed up tourist trap off Route 66 is, they do weddings down there (mumbles). – Oh, gosh. – And then there’s like theater seating that they took out of the American Film Institute theater in Hollywood. And the tour guide is like, “And all these celebrities “have sat in these theater seats right here. “And you can buy two for them for $1,500.” – What? – They’re selling them. They’re selling everything. – I don’t think it’s just two periods. It think it’s– – [Link] They’re trying to make money. – I think it’s throughout the ages. – No, I think it cuts back and forth. – I miss the ’60s though. – I think the story is about now, how it’s a relative inherited this place and has got to make it work in present day. But it keeps cutting back to his ancestors that discovered the place. I think there’s a movie in there. I’ll be the guy lowered down in the rope. – And we show the movie, it’s a one-theater release. We only show the move in the hole. – Well, that’s– – You have to go to the hole to see the movie about the hole. But you can watch the Hole movie. That’s what we call it, the Hole movie. (Link laughs) – I feel like you’re selling my idea a little short but– – No, no, I think it’s great. I’m selling it deep, man. (Link laughs) I’m selling it 2,000 feet down because– – Now I think it’s, I mean it has comedic elements, but I don’t think it’s, it’s like tonally, I think this movie is like, I don’t know why, but it’s like that Bernie movie with Jack Black that we saw that’s like– – Yeah. – It’s so strange. Like everything is so strange. It’s a world that I think we can just sink our teeth into. – I love the idea. I think that it’s like that movie we saw at Sundance, Wiener-Dog. I hated Wiener-Dog, by the way, the movie. – Yeah, it was horrible. – But it followed the wiener dog from owner to owner, and I just didn’t like the way it was done. I know some people like that filmmaker. It’s just I can’t get into it. But I just wonder if there’s a way to, I’ve seen a movie like this where they actually told a convincing, like a gripping, convincing story around a location. – You’re talking about A Dog’s Purpose. – No, no, no, no, no, no. (Link laughs) – Well, I need to take you there to experience it. – Oh, you know what it is? – [Link] What? – Oh, gosh. – You’re talking about The Giving Tree. – No, no, no. – Which we should adapt into a movie, I guess. – Again, this is better than Wiener-Dog. I think it’s called Ghost Story. Is it Casey Affleck? Is he the one, the controversial actor? – Yeah. – And then I think the woman in it is the Olsen twins’ sister. I can’t remember. But it’s about a location. It’s about a house. – And everybody who goes through it. – But it starts back in the like the way, way, way, way back, like not hunter gatherer but like the frontier. But this guy, he’s a ghost and he’s there the whole time. It’s weird. – There is a ghost down there. – [Rhett] See, yeah. – There’s a ghost tour that they do at night, and you can spend the night in there. Originally, when he would lower somebody in on a rope after charging them 25 cents, he would come back and get ’em later unless he forgot, which he would frequently do. You’ll be down there with a lantern and he just wouldn’t drop the rope til the next day. – Hold on, hold on. – I’m talking now about– – How deep? – 1927. 2,000 feet. – You hold on to a rope and he brings you up 2,000 feet. – Yeah, originally, the very first tourist. I’m flashing back. – He has lights down there? – No, you would go down with a lantern and matches. – I definitely wanna go. I think there could be a movie about it. – It’s so kitschy, you know. Like that whole tourist trap type thing, but it’s legitimately a geological feat. I mean it’s like, but it’s suffering. It’s not doing that great, you know. I love that. – I don’t know why not, man ’cause I wanna go right now. – I think if we made the movie, it’d really turn the place around. Maybe we buy it. – Turn that hole upside down into a pillar. – It doesn’t really work that way. The kids, Lando loved it. The other kids were, they were okay with it. – Okay with it. – Yeah. – Hmm. Maybe we could– – It’s the movie that will change their minds. – Make some updates to it. – Right. – I got a couple of ideas, laser show, one of ’em. – Laser show down there? – You can tell me one location on Earth where a laser show didn’t make it more exciting, then I’ll buy you a laser show. – Okay, I’ll take you up on that offer. – Been to Stone Mountain, Georgia? – Laser show. – Laser how. – Yeah. Red Rocks? – [Rhett And Link] Laser show. – Grand Canyon Caverns. Not yet. – Yeah, they need one, laser show. – TBDLS. Alright, guys. I took a risk in telling you about my movie idea. Don’t steal it. Just believe in us. – Yeah, don’t go make that movie. We will come after you with everything we’ve got. – Right. – Like the two horsemen of the apocalypse. I’ll be on a white horse, and Link will be in an RV. It’s not really a horse. It’s gonna take him a lot to get going. He’s gonna back out of his driveway. But once he gets going, buddy, he’s got all kinds of momentum, lots of legal authority. You gotta watch out. – We’ll speak at you next week. Thanks for hanging out with us as we tell each other about our vacations. – (chuckles) Yeah. To hear this Ear Biscuit in its entirety and make sure you don’t miss an episode, follow the links in the description to subscribe on Apple podcasts or anywhere else podcasts are available. – [Link] To watch more Ear Biscuits, click on the playlist on the right. – [Rhett] To watch more of our daily show, Good Mythical Morning, click the playlist on the left. – [Link] And don’t forget to click the circular icon to subscribe. – [Rhett] Thanks for being your mythical best.