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bake another one just for you [Music] welcome to ear biscuits I’m Rhett and I’m Linc thank you for listening to this very special ear biscuit especially for your ears your ears your ears I’m talking to you his ears hmm that’s right now there’s an interesting perspective that you’re bringing to the table today this week at the round table of dimmed lighting whoo interesting from the internet are we talking to nobody each other’s man each other’s that’s right okay so a month ago we did the just rhett and Link asking each other questions ear biscuit and we got a lot of positive feedback on that so we have indeed decided to continue it right now yeah the second installment yeah I gotta say it was fun to talk to you and ask you questions in a way that I typically would not there’s something about you know I don’t sit all the time you know ask you questions like dude where the keys or it’s usually a question that I ask is that your shirt put the keys what uh what are we doing today why are we wearing the same shirt should you go back in and change yeah is that did you fart I asked you that quite a bit too and you asked me that these are the kinds of questions that we ask each other has everything no I mean we have we have conversations as friends sometimes but it’s it it they have to kind of slide in there because there’s so much that we’re trying to accomplish something like a professional standpoint and I’m not just saying that we don’t talk as friends I’m just saying that there’s something about the format of being like okay I’ve got some questions prepared for you you’ve got some questions prepared for me that lends itself to a different level of authenticity or something I don’t know what it is I’m just saying that well I don’t think I don’t sit around a thing you know what I’m gonna try to remember if there’s anything that I don’t know about link or I’m gonna get you know we don’t go back and talk about those things other than just to reminisce but I don’t know what was actually going on in your mind at that point we don’t take time out to reminisce 60 minute in 60 minutes Shawn there you go that’s what I’m looking for in order to gain new insight into our brain while wearing headphones and talking into microphones but that’s what we’re doing in a room alone okay so I think we put a pin in one topic which I started to ask and then I said we need to wait because this is gonna open a whole can of conversation up on some people right and that is I guess what can be my first question which is Rhett why were you so obsessed with girls growing up now do you want you want to go do you have anything else by way of intro that you want to get into before you start answering my questions well we diving into the deep way we can dive right into it I could premise it with saying that if you didn’t listen to last month’s episode it was us asking questions about our childhood and then that led into this could this question that link casts and we were like huh you know what this actually could be a whole whole episode is just talking about girls growing up right our experience with the the greater sex is that is that how we should say it yeah sure and you do shouldn’t say the fairer sex because that fairer citizen really fly anymore because some of them have pants yes I mean if anybody use very straight answer right now or just beachcombing I would just say in general girls like women’s come women or Tanner than men usually I mean the average woman that would say can’t be true that’s my new first question why would you think that on average women are Tanner than me okay don’t answer that why was I obsessed with girls well first of all let me you gonna own that oh well heck yeah I’m gonna own it I’m gonna tell you right now that from a very early age I would I would say definitely first grade so basically at the time that I met you I say a large percentage the majority of my thoughts were directed at girls and not just girls in general but I had a tendency to fixate on one girl at a time well it could be worth maybe two or three at a time but it was just like fixate from a distance yeah and it wasn’t I mean it may sound creepy for me to talk about it but it was not I mean I I didn’t I didn’t really act on these things you know I it wasn’t like I’m like okay well I’m gonna like stalk this girl I said what do you mean by fixate just meaning that I would just spend a lot of time thinking about these particular girls or you know I remember you know the girl that I thought about the most in those first few years in North Carolina was definitely Halle womble uh-huh you know she was a family friend she was older than me she was Huey years old two years older she was cute and I just that’s all it took I mean oh she was cute and or as we would have said she was fine but that’s what we said we said girls were fine well not in first grade probably but bond I mean by middle school we would say I said it and it made me second third grade I had an older brother okay you didn’t invent the term I just you know no no I’m just saying that’s that’s what we said we didn’t use the term cute they use that today and we didn’t use the term hot that was something that sounded like inappropriate we never said a girl was hot we said a girl was fine it’s but fine yeah so Halle was fine and you would just you would just find yourself just daydreaming about her oh is that what you mean daydreaming and I dreaming I mean yeah just just thinking about like how could I knew that there was such a thing as the institution of a relationship a girl friend her boyfriend I didn’t actually think you know at that age that it was something that was a realistic thing but I do remember as early as second and third grade having dreams you know in your kid you can you have lucid dreams all the time right I’d I flew and my dreams all the time regularly had lucid dreams where I would realize I was dreaming and then control the dream in almost every single dream that I had had where I was that lucid dreaming the first thing I do was fly and then when I got up in the air I would be like mmm well I’m gonna fly to Holly’s house and I would I never knew what I was gonna do when I got there but I would always get to her doorstep and I would her mom would answer the door and I would say is Holly home and she would be like right you can’t come in anyway the mom always stopped it so appropriately yeah why is this flying first grader at my doorstep but I gotta say that it did start at that point I never taught her in real life – Holly yeah yeah yeah all the time and meaning later in life when she was in high school when we were both in high school hmm I think I got very flirtatious with her and would say ridiculous things to her really oh yeah like even we would go on like these mission trips with church and stuff yeah you gotta like Trinidad in other places in the day we she would go oh I remember that and I would just I would just say things to her like you know you’re gonna we’re gonna be together I mean I talked just explicitly tour not explicitly I talked directly not explicitly that’s the wrong wrong word I didn’t talk dirty I did not talk dirty to her I said things like you know we’re gonna be together you know I know I’m two years younger than you and it never it never worked ages nothing but a number baby you ever try that one I said some ridiculous things Wow I do remember saying ridiculous that’s great it was never successful and then eventually you know eventually she went off to college or whatever and I mean it wasn’t like I was obsessed with her the entire my entire childhood I continue to try later on but yeah it was her Lisa Lisa Johnson Johnson she was tall I was obsessed with her she was older – did she was one year older and I don’t know I so to get to the real question which is why it’s I want to flip it back on you for this because I don’t know why because this just seemed like I could not avoid it I just I just thought about girls all the time and and I want to know here’s a question for you what were you thinking about in adolescence I think I thought about girls a normal amount like 25% of the time girls 25% of the time GI Joes 25% of the time what I’m gonna eat and 25% of the time school you know friends everything else catch all kind of a thing but for you it just seemed like a unnaturally large piece of your pie so I’m not saying you know what I didn’t think about girls but I was um I did I certainly didn’t talk to anybody about it I didn’t talk to anybody about it I would have talked to you about it yeah I didn’t I mean I didn’t talk to you about it I kept a lot of myself but there are some kids who’s like oh she’s my girlfriend or he’s my boyfriend like younger kids I see these days kind of have the boyfriend-girlfriend thing you didn’t have that until you know it was like official go time middle school when you could really go with somebody quote-unquote well and I will say that it you know it wasn’t and so I spent those first few years and as you did too I mean thinking about girls okay a certain percentage of the time maybe higher for me but there was no action taken you know I was still just doing things like playing sports and you know doing school and those kinds of things and just nervously interacting with girls that I liked dreaming about them but sixth grade rolls around and a really important thing happened over the summer between fifth and sixth grade and that is that Leslie Peebles and amber Stevens and moved into town now they weren’t sisters they actually moved from different places but they became best friends so they were like the two new girls on the block yeah and both very cute oh yeah and kind of could have been sisters at that age he kind of okay that did they moved at the same time are they sisters no well and you got a to put this into context not that it mattered if they were sisters I don’t know why they would have been twins probably if we grew up in such a small place you know Buies Creek North Carolina there’s you know a thousand people there you know when the students are Campbell University are out of town and with something and they actually both moved to Lillington the neighboring city town but they both came to boys Creek Elementary for reasons I didn’t know I don’t know I don’t know why they chose Buies Creek but they did that but but Leslie became your first girlfriend is 6th grade was that a result of you pinpointing your obsessive obsession on her well of course yeah what happened as soon as they both moved to town and this is kind of what I was getting at when a new girl came into town it was like a big deal because you had been with the same 25 people since first grade essentially with the small turnover you know oh there’s a new person a person leaves it was like a testosterone lace bidding war of dating well yeah I’ve been spoken it was becoming that and I think it all goes back to the way that mrs. Lanier organized the desks you were in Miss Campbell’s class that year yep for some reason I remember this story we won’t get into your academic deficiencies I think they were just perceived but by that by the administration for some reason you were actually a good student but for whatever reason you were in miss Campbell’s class and I was a missile in ears class and miss Lanier made the decision to organize the desks in two sets of four like a cloverleaf and you faced one another and you know I have told this story in another context before a GMM or a live show or something I don’t know but so I’ll make it quick but essentially the way it worked as you said I set right next to Leslie so at a 90 degree angle with her and I remember it was so I do I’ve been sitting there all year with her like this but summer was coming and it was it was the spring time and I had on shorts and she had on shorts flowers were budding and it just hit me Hollan was in the air I was like I could touch her knee with mine I could touch her leg with my knee you know I was like here I’ve been sitting all year on this possibility and now I can make it happen her knee is exposed my leg is excuse and so I was like oh I’m gonna go for it I don’t know I was and I’ve been thinking about it whole time because I was like this girl is good looking and she sits next to me and so I remember one day I just said I’m gonna go for Tanner than use a very tan all the time I started slumping down in my chair slouchy slouching and it’s kind of sticking my leg out towards her and I just kind of started directing it in her direction I couldn’t see cuz it’s under the desk you know I’m like well know what when I hit it you know it’s like I’m drilling for something you know this is weird and so I go a couple inches and then a couple just more like because this girl’s leg you know and I mean at this point I’m sitting in an awkward position and I should have been told to sit up I look like I’m falling asleep my head is barely sticking up but above the top of the desk and she’s right beside basically and then eventually I make contact I feel skin on skin and everything changes and then but she immediately recoils Oh and looks at me and I’m like okay mission accomplished I got our attention oh that’s not accomplished coil but then I kept eye contact and I moved the leg a little bit further you make I made contact for a second time my goodness she recoiled again at this point you’re like horizontal dude yeah and then she says Oh Rhett you’ve got some long legs I was like you’re right baby I do you didn’t say anything I would just kind of just sit I was like hope I don’t know what I said but then I just after she said that for a third time after that again I went in and she she still recoiled she she always backed off so weird and then eventually I was like I sat back up and I was like I think I’ve sent a message here you know I’ve accomplished something I don’t know what it is yeah change seats then the next thing that I know like in the days following that I find out that Tate Maddox likes Leslie it is becomes known publicly that Tate Maddox likes Leslie and then well I like Leslie and you as a matter of fact I touched her leg the other day with my knee I didn’t say that but that’s what I was thinking I’ve claimed her essentially and so well three times she’s mine that’s all it took was finding out the Tate it was interested to know that I was also in Shenzhen the buzz so I told amber hmm that I was interested in Leslie one thing led to another Leslie’s like yeah I do like Rhett and uh and I will be I will go with him I will be his girlfriend and so we started a relationship all because I reached out and touched someone and take got you off the dime yeah yeah and take lost I remember being in the library it was the library session that day miss Campbell’s class and word trickles into the library oh yeah it is going with Leslie that’s what we call it going and my heart just drops I’m like man I’m just but I’m just behind I’m in a different class in more ways than one all of a sudden I’m single and what am I gonna do I guess I’ll just have to wait for them to break up I mean you know I don’t even I don’t remember what I was thinking but just cut my inference from what happened was well I waited over the course of the summer and then she became my girlfriend the next the next year seventh grade yeah cuz we I mean we only went we only went together for one month and then she dumped me for because it was summertime she was like I mean in actually actually she I thought I initiated the relationship through amber and then amber broke up with me for Leslie she called me and basically said you know is summertime you know you know you’re you’re five miles away goodness I go to a different pool you go to a different pool I mean it’s so how can this relationship work over the summer let’s just be real and I was like um okay whatever my relationship with Leslie in seventh grade was short-lived I remember very little about it but how did it start because that I can’t remember this is my stomach my question for you was I know how all my relationships started and that was with me initiating them in but my my recollection of how all your relationships started was that the girl it would always initiate I would venture to guess that’s how it happened with Leslie because that’s how it happened with amber months later amber sat in front of me in history class and she one day she played the game I know somebody who likes you and so I’m guessing girls how does she like me no does she like me no and I guessed every girl except amber yeah and then I against amber and she’s like yep and then we started going together so it was it was on her initiative that we went together and that was seventh grade seventh grade yeah so you’d you I dated Leslie my first girlfriend in sixth grade you dated Leslie your first girlfriend in seventh grade then you turned around your relationship with Leslie was short uneventful then you start the relationship with Amber yeah an indica sativa which is your second girlfriend in seventh grade yeah and then there’s the that’s when the party at the Lillington Community Center with the Train oh yeah the caboose or in caboose they’re beside it we’re sitting in there and Simba sod Michael Juby and Anna they were together and they started kissing each other yeah and then Mike kind of the community center what else do you suppose Mike kind of looks at me and we’re sitting right next to him and he kind of like gives me the nod like alright now it’s your turn and somebody oh my goodness so then I turn and give amber the first kiss of my life well and so how was that it was amazing force like seven seconds no you didn’t go seven seconds I specifically remember you’re bad with numbers I went for seven seconds with amber the first time that was my first kiss I distinctly remember you saying web for seven seconds let’s clarify okay so mine was probably less Reena well time seems to stop especially when it’s your first kiss a via and Wow that was that was something to remember especially with Michael G be right there just kind of timing it that’s how we knew that it was I lost track it I guess he said four seconds you got to appreciate Michael Juve you know I mean he’s he’s he was always the smartest of all of us he was always the one that he always had a girlfriend he always had a girlfriend he’s one step ahead he’s a ladies man and he was the kind of guy that you know you needed a Michael Juby in that situation did give me the knob yeah if Michael had not had given you the knob who’d he just stared straight ahead what were you talking about right now we may not even be here you know it’s possible we wouldn’t even be here Michael do behind giving you the nod yeah it changed everything I guess my experience cuz then you but because then it was like now you have to catch up you know you have to date amber no and you have to kiss him yeah on the night you did not kiss Lesley needed it out I was scared I got so close I got so close but Matt McKinney was there it wasn’t Michael G being us he didn’t give me the knot so I didn’t know Matt McKinney was with amber at the time oh I was next to him and it would lesbi Lesley Lesley didn’t it Matt didn’t give me the nod so I didn’t I didn’t fall through but Michael Juby was there on the night of my first kiss which incidentally this is we’re not making this up by the way we had the same first girlfriend and the same first kiss my first kiss was also with Amber small town but we were you know how II would go over to Campbell University and we would hang out at Shell’s place yeah and sometime maybe see a movie right so then a college campus underneath D rich auditorium which is still there today there was a little restaurant that I don’t believe is there anymore it wasn’t there you know recently and we’d hang out you know we’re middle schoolers kind of hanging out on the college campus and it’s kind of like a dream come true right and we’re sitting in there and in the little lounge area and I don’t know who Michael was dating at the time I just know that he he went out and he kind of comes back and he’s like you know I just went out there and kissed so and so and I’m like okay and I remember I had on my my blue Nike sweatshirt which gave me a lot of confidence it was actually what I took my school picture in that year so he he basically gave me the nod he was like dude I just went outside and kissed my girlfriend he gave me he took the lead and then I knew what I was supposed to do and I walked out of D rich auditorium I walked right to that fountain you know the fountain right outside of the rich auditorium right there in between the cafeteria and an auditorium in the dorm rooms and I sat there in my blue Nike sweatshirt sat down next to amber and I just went for it and again seven seconds because some of the could be the best not the best seven seconds of my life but definitely a best seven seconds of that year and and then I just walked back into the restaurant and just kind of gave Michael to hit the nod like you know mission accomplished I’m the new man did you ever practice kissing what do you mean with like oh like on your hand – no I did I practiced kissing in the shower I kissed my shower the nozzle that’s not a good simulation that is as unless that was really salivating for the most messy good no I would I would kiss the wall of the shower pretty embarrassing that’s all another great simulation I don’t know I don’t know what yeah I can only imagine what it was like to what it was like to receive that first kiss from you he kisses like he’s been kissing a shower it’s like I don’t know how I was but no I never practiced you just saw I just need practice head on my sweatshirt man I mean you know just oh man there’s plenty of people who I think I’ve heard that many people have practiced by kissing their hand and so I’m I refuse to feel totally stupid it’s my confession I brought blood probably a lot lots of people have practice now but one interesting thing here’s a question for you is that shortly after I started dating amber you began dating Anna now this was eighth grade eighth grade Anna was the smartest girl in our school okay and every night and ever that matters and I remember finding out I mean this girl like really smart I remember thinking and I first thought you were my best friend so not this is nothing against you I just remember thinking I thought Anna was the smartest girl in school she’s dating link and I seriously remember thinking this doesn’t make any sense you sense any level in compatibility I was like what are they talking about so did you have like did you have a in depth philosophical conversations with this girl I remember there being anxiety Laden phone calls that’s why I Leslie dumping by the way because I couldn’t carry on a phone call yeah amber was very talkative it didn’t matter if he talked or not yeah she just got and bye Anna I think I figured out how to actually have like at least a conversation with a girl on a telephone I think I still remember a phone number right now matter of fact okay well I’m not gonna say it because then we have to go through and beep the phone numbers we’re saying last names isn’t that good enough for you people right it’s Paul it’s probably wrong but whatever I don’t recall the specifics of it no well I do recall one specific thing I know you did you did we’re gonna and we’re gonna talk about this yes we are you dated her for a while I mean when I dated amber pretty much my entire eighth grade year and I recall you dating Anna most of that yeah but I do remember you inviting me somewhere one night now this is something that way back on good morning Chia Lincoln we almost talked about and I remember saying uh we’ll talk about that another time and then we never went back and talked about it so I do want to premise this with this if this was not a good idea we don’t recommend anything that we’re talking about worst of all I’m not proud of this but yes I did one night where we were going to you and I we’re going to a see a movie at a Campbell our parents would drop us off yeah instead of going to the movie or like alright let’s just let’s just walk off campus walk over to Hannah’s house yeah you really you want to go to my girlfriend’s house and look in her windows yeah and of course I’m like well yeah but I ain’t know what a good friend you are thanks I mean thanks for including me and I thought it was weird on a lot of levels but I was there I was along for the ride now in fairness we were not right up against a window we were up behind a woodpile yeah we were we were a little we were 50 feet from the house here further back and it wasn’t like we wanted to see anything specifically it was the just the idea in general of being sneaky in I don’t know it wasn’t about seeing something it was about the active clan the clandestine act in itself was just I don’t know what it was about I was just what the most was it seems like a good idea is what I was thinking and this guy’s letting me do it with him so and we so we did see my girlfriend at the time folding clothes and she and she was also fully clothed yeah yeah so there’s that but it happened but saying it’s over right I do can no one ever knew until now no but I do I do we never discussed one of the right but one of the things I’ve noticed as I ask you these questions is that you don’t really remember what was going through your mind very much back then is it because there wasn’t a lot going through it that’s why I dated an aurochs so much was going through her mind for the both of us so I mean so what would I mean now you pretty numbness what do you think you were thinking that it would be fun I mean it was great it was yeah this is a clandestine operation I’ve never told you thanks for bringing me but you’ll have to bring me welcome naughty what you would have done that no I mean I wouldn’t have done it you would have gone to or did you go to any of your girlfriends well if I went to my girlfriend’s house I would just go into the house here can I come in I wouldn’t look to the windows that’s a stalking kind of I don’t I don’t know if it’s me having a bad memory or me just not thinking through these things too much so I don’t know the answer to that but I certainly wasn’t one to figure out what’s the latest and greatest thing that’s happening in relationships in middle school and let me see if I can let me see if I can blaze a trail I was more just like okay got a girlfriend I gotta look into that and I will say you know I’m you none of the what we’re talking about to you know this week is designed to be prescriptive in any way it’s just this is this is the story this is the story of what we did but I will say that I looked you know we’ve got kids now right we’ve got kids who are going to be going through some of these same these same things and I think about the the nature of these expectations that we brought to these relationships that we were that we were in and I think we come from a different generation we come from a generation where you did not typically discuss very much with your parents like I you know right like we talked to it to our kids about every little thing they’re going through and we encouraged this open line of communication and I think that it’s just kind of a generational thing that our parents were a little bit more hands-off with us and so as we were entering into things like a relationship with a girl at least maybe just was our personalities in fact that we were boys I didn’t you know I may have told my mom like a week later that you know yeah I’ve got a girlfriend now and she may have asked me a question I probably just kind of clammed up but I do think that you made the announcement whereas I didn’t what were you saying well I’m just I’ve thinking back on it it guess it’s provided some great stories but he was so ill-advised I mean I this whole thing to be like I am a fourteen-year-old boy in a committed you know exclusive relationship with a fourteen-year-old girl it was not it was not healthy it and I’m not saying that I’m sure there’s some of you out there who are 14 who are listening or whatever and I’m not saying that you’re you know okay yeah you know you’re you’re too young to experience a life or you’re stupid or anything like that that’s not what I’m saying I’m saying that like it’s just not a taste not that it’s not the time for an exclusive relationship it doesn’t make any sense to have an exclusive relationship with someone at that point in your life well and for me I never talked to my mom I was actually embarrassed to tell my mom that I had a girlfriend who I’m going with amber or I’m going with Anna it’s at a certain point I had to come out but I don’t know for some reason I just felt embarrassed to talk to my mom about having a girlfriend at all I remember I was at when I was going with amber I was holding her hand on the bleachers at the baseball game cuz I didn’t play baseball I was the ladies man that day but your mom was there watching you play baseball and she saw me holding hands with amber oh and I remember just being just flooded with embarrassment really that your mom saw me holding hands with a girl it was just it just seemed like oh you you shouldn’t be doing that her oh I know I know something about you now cuz I didn’t talk to my mom about I didn’t cheat my mom probably discovered through some other means that probably through your mom that I had a girlfriend like that’s the extent that I wanted to discuss it yeah I don’t know just something about it like my school life in my whole life I wanted to be separate my god I didn’t want my mom to know that I was growing up or I had no I don’t know psychologically what was happening but that’s what it was don’t you wish you could go back and talk to yourself yeah and I think that’s what I apply to to to my kids as you know the things that I don’t want them to be as clueless as I was because I was so to myself and guarded and I want I want my kids to be more comfortable talking about these things so like saying the word sex is something that is not like if my kids ever heard that word because well I talked to him about it at a younger age versus an old because it’s just it’s just a fact of life and there’s a there is an appropriate way to discuss things with kids once they start having questions that then you’re not just dumping everything on him or it seems like a faux pas when they get to be older or expecting them to figure it out on their own sure let’s move to high school well there was a pivotal moment I recall this summer vividly now first of all we’ve been and I’d like to apologize to Anna she’s not listening but we shouldn’t have been behind her woodpile she’s probably flattered that it happened and you know always thought it was her phone and clothes flattered if that beans creeped out yes you know as we’ve established you know we did that we did our personality profiles recently and my number one characteristic was futurist right and part of that personality profile is someone who constantly anticipates and visualizes the future in obsesses about the future I think oh yeah that’s one of the reasons I was always obsessed with girls because I would see a certain reality with with a girl and then I would live it out and I would it would literally be living that that future in my mind and I remember you remember the river yes right that’s kind of where I’m getting yeah we would go to the Cape Fear River and swim like every day especially over the summer I mean that water would be it would be like a over 100 degrees outside maybe and that water would just be the best thing in the world I remember just like swimming around there and you would be talking about ok next year we’re a freshman in high school there’s a whole group of girls from all these other towns that come together at at high school and it’s just like a it’s like we’re funneling out of this one little pond into this bigger Lake of women and and then you knew their name I knew their names I don’t know how I knew their names but I was like Stephanie she’s a cheerleader she’s gonna be a freshman she’s a cheerleader and Jamie and Tabitha Michelle Michelle Stephanie was from Angier Michelle was from Lillington Ellington and Melissa was from Andrew it made no matter that these girls had boyfriends they were already going with other people that didn’t stop you from Oh No having initiating these conversations to get my hopes up oh yeah man I’m gonna I’m gonna start going with Stephanie and I’m gonna hold her hand and you know I’m gonna I don’t even it’s that the other yeah and I’ll get me a cheerleader too and she’ll be my girlfriend her name will be Michelle what yeah I had it all planned to never talk to these girls no no just knew their names never even met him never even met them know what they look like we knew what they look like because from when you’d play each other in basketball they’d be cheerlead oh no that is true so we become freshman at Hornet Central High School and Andrew North Carolina and boy I just remember thinking about what I was gonna wear which was absolutely ridiculous what I did end up wearing you know like that first couple weeks of school we you know it was the Nike sweatshirt you still have it oh no it wouldn’t wear a sweatshirt it was North Carolina in August so you you were hot all the time I remember when I wear that I had a structure shirt that was a short sleeve polo that had four different quadrants quadrants that’s the word I remember that yeah I remember ladies I don’t know what you wore you thought they loved it you were kind of into like the the soccer thing you were like um Bros and soccer shoes which I always thought that was the absolute dorkiest way anyone could possibly dress I mean I guess I also thought I’m six-foot what I was six foot four and a half in my freshman year in high school I was what you were gonna wear and what the getting the ladies I was wearing I had a pair of white shorts pair of white shorts and a braided belt that was about a foot too long and you would you would you would run around and run it down your one of your legs remember that yeah and then I had a pair of docksiders which were those leather shoes with the leather laces and you didn’t wear any socks with him you had these tan legs from hanging out at the pool all summer I was sober so redneck how did that go for you it worked incredibly well I remember you know the cool thing about high school was not only did you have all all these new girls in town or in school but you had break time which you know after first period of homeroom or whatever there was the break at nine o’clock you had like a 10 or 15-minute break where everyone would stand out there in this really large the common salman’s area and I just remember it took me a couple of days to figure out that Jamie Brown and Tabitha Norris were the two most in-demand girls in the entire school school they were sophomores sophomore was this desta sweet spot when you’re a girl in freshman everyone’s like oh they’re a little too young sophomore year all the seniors want to date the sophomore girls right and at least that’s the way it was back then and I remember thinking these are the two girls that everybody wants I see them talking to each other right now I’m gonna just start staring in that direction so this is kind of like the knee technique with Leslie except from these days just with the eyes yeah and at that point I remember Stephanie Weber lo remember her yep and she was a friend of both of them she’s the wing woman for the two of them and somehow I found out that she was friends with with her and I was like well I’m gonna talk to I’m gonna talk to Stephanie I’m gonna get to know Stephanie I’m gonna get into this conversation with her I’m gonna I’m gonna hint that I like Jamie and maybe something will happen long story short well well I think what happened before anything with with Jamie around the same time was Tabitha I got word they liked me a lot right I mean we’re talking the top two in the whole school whoa what is happening and like now I have to talk to her and it was like I’m so good at making things awkward I think it’s because I just I just instinctively was just so awkward then now I’m just like I just care I just I can’t help myself now I think making things awkward now is reliving my puberty years yes are you constantly stuck in puberty man so she liked me and I couldn’t believe it I did not know how to conduct a five minute in the comments conversation with her I just was not capable of doing it but I was there for you at the same time in parallel you had set your sights on Jamie yeah my question is I did you technically stalk her no I mean no I didn’t stalk her there was no internet you know I never called her I just started talking to Weber Lowe about it and I would say I like her and then you know she goes over to her and then there’s they talk a little bit and then she comes back over to me and she says she likes you too I’m like okay I just I thought that’s not what happened I thought she didn’t like you I thought there was a recoil again you had to push harder and yeah yeah yeah I’m convincing the story I mean the first time that I started the conversation there was there was probably no interest but I’m convincing that I’m persistent you had to touch her in the lit man of like three and I know with your leg here with my recipe so there was you know there was a little bit of back and forth but within the second week of being at school I mean we’re talking two weeks into high school we were official yeah we were academia Drive I mean she I don’t have a car and that was your in because at that point mm-hmm you see what I was like dude Tabitha likes you and she’s Jamie’s best friend this is like we’re like the Power couples now I mean we got to get in on this and I don’t think you ever used the term power no I’m just saying I just I saw an opportunity there you’re like well double date material yeah at least and and then you can you can explain what happened on our first date because the first date I ever had with Jamie was the first date that you ever had with Tabitha oh it was yeah yeah it was it was like let’s go do something together yet none of us can drive so that means let’s go on a double date all crammed into the backseat of your dad’s Dodge Dynasty while he and your mom drive us through the done movie theater keep in mind this is a four passenger car sedan and there’s six of us in there and all four of us are in the backseat yeah you know nothing ready six foot four that’s a great way to get to know somebody were just crammed up against them and I had no idea what these girls were thinking and we went by and pick them up individually at their houses you know you came you came over to my house she probably rode your bike to my house and then we get in the back we go pick up one of them pick up the other one and then we go to done and so there’s a poem alone too it’s a pretty long trip from done from Lillington to done and this is before they put the four-lane road in so it was just a two-lane road and so you just you know you’re just on this two-lane road for a while and you know the conversation Wendell pretty quickly but I remember the pivotal moment where I decided to try to break the awkward silence by starting a new conversation so we’re driving down the road and you know I could see that they were breaking ground ground on the on the four-lane and so I you know silent silence silence and then I’m just like sure will be nice when they make this road four lanes and then my dad laughing because he totally recognized the humor in the situation yeah and what what we were experienced he was probably getting a kick out of it in the same way that I’m gonna get a kick out of things I do get a kick out of things with my kids imagine how it smelled in that car with all of that sweat and anxiety next yeah that was my only date with Tabitha I’m pretty sure it didn’t that was entirely your fault because I just don’t understand I could have kept it going I just I felt like that was horrible but she I just don’t get it man I know she was like such a prize you know at that time that’s not a sexist no I’m but I like a trophy yeah but no well I’m speaking I’m assuming the perspective that I had at a time it was 1992 I was a freshman in high school and I was thinking about things in a way that I wouldn’t advise but that was the reality I was thinking you could go out with this girl not only is that awesome because she’s good-looking period that’s all we cared about at that time super shallow super superficial but also it was like oh and you get to say that you’re going out with this girl and I never understood we and we didn’t talk about it it’s funny we talk about this kind of stuff more now than we did then because I was just like I went forward I kept pursuing Jamie I was like this is this is a thing now mom you got to take me over to Jamie’s house or I’m gonna go over to Jamie’s house for this and for that and we we went out for a couple of months and then the meanwhile Tabitha’s just going she goes out with somebody else yeah I’ll you know I I lost out man I don’t know what to say regret but I do remember after going out with Jamie for a couple of months I was like you know what I mean I got like you know one of the best little girls in the whole school here right the beginning my freshman year I mean you know the sky’s the limit I’m gonna break up with her and see you so we will see what else I can do oh no I got overconfident and I broke up with her and I’m sad to say I didn’t date anyone into my junior year after that you became a free agent me and then became unemployed it was like a guy who declares early for the NBA and then he’s like oh I should have done that right yeah yeah so yeah I mean I have a track record you know an English class Selena Bullard asks me to the FLL dance she had just broken up with her boyfriend who shrink looked strangely just like me sad sad yeah yeah it looked a lot like you so she breaks up with that after they’ve been together for years and then she goes with me she asked me to dance I think as a jab to Thad right I’m gonna go with a guy who looks just like you yeah oh and that’s no yeah that’s why you’re going with Jamie right so so I break up with Jamie thinking I’m you know a free agent now so and then you didn’t have a date to the FLL Dan because we had planned on going together okay I guess I’m not going to that fellow I’ll dance and so me and my mom go pick up Selena and then my mom drops me and Selena off at the FLL dance and then I don’t know how it happened but at some point Jamie says she wants to dance with me so I danced with Jamie and then another song she’s like let’s dance again and then all of a sudden it’s three songs in a row four songs in a row Jamie is dancing with me and then Selena comes up and she’s like I called my dad he’s picking me up and I’m like I was so stupid well and so such a jerk I had this and I heard through the grapevine cuz I wasn’t there in the fifth dance Jamie’s like she’s got her head laying on my shoulder it’s just slowed well I hear the next day piece of ice the next you know the next Monday people are like Lincoln Jane you were all over each other at the FLL dance so you you go with one girl and then it Nike I did not kiss her did not kiss her on the dance floor but my butt my what I heard through the grapevine and then talk to you about later was that Jamie starts dance with you and then by the end of it yet she’s like basically Dancing with you like he would dance with a boyfriend boyfriend and girlfriend with dances yes lady songs like that when your date leaves yeah and so I was the jerk but I think in retrospect she was using me to make her boyfriend that she got back together with sad jealous that night and then in Jamie’s retro retrospect Jamie was doing the same thing to you trying to make you jealous by loving all up on her his best friend at the FLL damn was it saying that girls don’t realize is that guys don’t care about that I mean I hear about yeah and I’m like that’s awesome I see you on Monday and you tell me the story and I’m like well how was it yeah there was no felt need for an apology from me right I was happy for no tension at all so yeah I was a little weird man she was dancing like you had her like head on my shoulder it was you know pretty cool pretty great of course you didn’t do anything about it nope and that’s what I want to get you okay and I want to translate this a little bit into to modern times because mm-hmm my wife did not propose to me Riley Wow yeah we’re not gonna talk about this story of how we met men are wise what that was we were at a different time in our lives it was a much more mature process it’s not oh yeah not that we won’t ever talk about that but that’s this is about sort of the adolescent relationships but I do want to make a parallel observation and that is that okay in modern times current rhett and Link let’s say there’s like somebody doing something or like we have to make a video that involves going up to somebody and doing something I am much less likely to initiate in that situation you are much more likely to initiate in that situation but when it came to these things like this girl I’m gonna make her my girlfriend I was much more likely to initiate in that so it’s not that you’d have a relation have a personality that doesn’t take initiative is that in those situations you just didn’t have a plant you had no plan well yeah if if if there was an opportunity to entertain a group of people like in the in the middle school cafeteria or in video form or whatever the case may be I’m I’m I’m very clear on being able to step up to the plate and do something that’s going to entertain those people but when there’s something personally at stake like a relationship with a girl it’s this the anxiety level goes way up for me there when there’s personal implications for that type of thing well in the thing that frustrated me is that you know after I I got high on my horse and then dumped Jamie then I started you know trying to initiate with other girls and I remember one year I sophomore year maybe maybe junior year you know there was a girl named Julie late remember her yeah and she was new she was cute cheerleader I took the initiative and I went for it and I don’t know basically I you know you never hear anything from the girl herself you hear it from her friend FLE they all communicate she’s like buzz off no she’s like Julie likes link oh really so you don’t even remember you don’t even remember I love how you get me angry about it no I’m just sorry you just I I never I never had a relationship with Julie Lake it you I know that’s my whole point that’s my where my frustration lies is that oh and then the situation with uh with Jana Jana was it the same thing well you didn’t like Jana but Jana yeah right yeah software time though same time in our lives Jana was a freshman cheerleader she she said she liked me she broke up with her junior boyfriend at the time I didn’t have a car but my mom dropped me off at her house and we rode around on a four we we like got pizza and we were eating it on her bed and she like wanted to kiss me and I clammed up man I couldn’t do it I could not give her a kiss and I was like well I’ve been eating pizza what my breath smells like pizza I’ve been riding a four-wheeler what if us smell like gas like man I don’t know I was just so I just clammed up I just shut down I couldn’t and you know what I should be thankful you know who onna who knows where I would be if I had if I had gone and you know if I had had had gusto with the lady what and listen I I’m thankful you know I think that well that’s what was something I want to say but I just don’t know what was going through your mind because it was it was not the thing I want to make clear it was not a conviction that you shouldn’t be doing things you know it wasn’t like wash it and be kissing girls or something like that it wasn’t based in that that came a little bit later as we got older and developed some convictions about that kind of thing but like moving in for that first kiss is the most intimidating thing that I can ever imagine to this day like bungee jumping or you know skydiving or like like we’re in one of those batsuits where you’re like jumping off the side of a mountain and then you could you’re flying like the squirrel suit squirrel suit not a bat suit yeah that’s easy compared to the first kiss like that’s how much anxiety was associated with that from I don’t and I don’t know why but I think it it it served me well it it protected me from lots of things perhaps and listen I in at the same at the same time I don’t know why you know I had this reckless abandon when it came to starting relationships and I was it was very often not successful in fact most of the time wasn’t successful there was a lot of a lot of failures there was that really bright spot early freshman year and then there was some low points but I didn’t ever necessarily that didn’t ever all I translate into other areas too like I said to this day I do not enjoy like you know making people feel uncomfortable or it’s like we have to do a prank or we had go talk I don’t like talking to strangers you know I still I have anxiety about those things but when it was talking to a girl and it was always just like me I mean it I had anxiety but there was just this overwhelming like no this is what this is your mission this what you’re gonna do in retrospect I should have been a plot I could have been applying that to other things hmm you know but the thing they always intrigues me about you is I’m just like well what were you thinking about back in those days because you were you thinking about your rock tumbler and stuff like that cuz you always had like a thing like a you know go to your house and yeah yeah I was thinking about basketball and girls I was thinking I did think a lot about a rock tell this rock tumbler that was always going like I found it in the catalog and then I I circled it and then I obsessed about it and then like I got up the money and I bought it and it arrived and then it was in the laundry room because it made a lot of constant noise I remember all the noise it made and you had to wait you know as an investment involved and then the rocks come out and they’re smooth and I never made jewelry I just kept the smooth rocks because that’s the line I didn’t want to cross I was a rock tumbler not a jewelry maker is that the next step and rocks tumbling you put Jules on yeah they wanted you to do that they would give you mounts and all that type of stuff make rings and necklaces and stuff only it wasn’t pink that was a rock tumbler it was red and it was red I wrong but you I mean I gained confidence to approach women in college that’s that’s when things shifted for me it wasn’t really ever at high school I mean the the last you know my next serious relationship in high school was with Missy and that was I said I said that like Missy like she’s an evil person which she’s not but that was like I guess I was kind of overcoming like a lack of confidence at that point when that was like senior year in high school kind of a thing that really didn’t totally go away until college when after Missy and I broke up and then I was meeting other girls college girls and then it was hey I’m a more of a functional human being who can have a conversation or an adult essentially yeah you’re an adult becoming a closer to it you know but it took me a long time it’s not that you were acting like an adult that wasn’t what I was implying no I’m and I’m not saying you were I’m just saying I guess one thing I am saying is that I feel like that’s a that’s a time you know possibly college is a good time maybe to have a girlfriend but no one’s gonna listen I mean if you’re out there in your middle school you’re in high school and you’re like I’m determined to have a girlfriend you’re probably just gonna do it anyway and you’re gonna be like III think the more interesting thing is what I want my kids to listen to this conversation we had because you know I don’t want to you know I talked to my kids in a certain way that I don’t like to hey kids let’s sit down on the couch so I can tell you story time about my first kiss and all these type of things so that’s my question to you is would you want lock as a ten year old to listen to this conversation that we just had how do we tackle that one hmm well he’s probably not going to a they don’t listen to your biscuits no they don’t it’s not intended for them so I guess so right yeah that is correct right off the bat answer is no I mean if I’m going to discuss and I had discussed I mean he’s interested in girls we talked about it I see some similarities as I see myself and Jessie sees herself of course because we’re both his parents in in our kids in in in lock who’s older and you know yeah I try to be very I try to be very calculated in the way that I talk about things and then we definitely I mean even I mean he’s 10 years old and he’s got friends who have girlfriends you know and so there’s this even even at that age there’s this pressure it’s like Oh at some point it’s gonna be it’s gonna be expected that he have a girlfriend whatever that means at that age and so we talk about that and I say you know if I could go back you know and tell myself something it would be don’t have a you don’t have a some serious exclusive emotional you know or physical relationship with someone at that stage of your life or high school even because so many things are changing so many things are so fragile your your chant your becoming someone so quickly the other person is becoming something so quickly that even though it may be very difficult to have self-control in those situations that it’s it’s worth it you know that and that’s that’s what I that’s what I tell him yeah and I think for Lily who is you know is 11 now it’s me having conversations and first of all just having a conversation is is a big win just being able to say who do you have a crush on I know you have a crush on somebody you can tell me and you know it’s and then she’s like well no I don’t and then one one time we had the conversation was like actually I do actually I have two crushes or three or whatever the case was at the time and you know she and she kind of broke the seal on having this conversation with me her dad and saying yeah I have a crush on so-and-so and it was oh I saw how my dad reacted and it wasn’t he wasn’t scared or it wasn’t weird or no one was embarrassed or it wasn’t awkward it’s just hey it’s normal we’re having a conversation you having these feelings is normal and I was talking about it it’s just part of life it’s not this faux pas though we we speak not of these things because they’re weird and you shouldn’t do that no so that’s the first thing but then encouraging my kids to just to not dive into something just because people are the friends are doing it you know just kind of pacing themselves hey you don’t you don’t know who you are you shouldn’t be connecting yourself with somebody else who also doesn’t know that in the end again like I said that’s it’s just something that’s it’s it’s so hard to hear that I mean you could have told me that at that age I would have not cuz you don’t feel that way you don’t you don’t feel like you’re becoming who you are you feel like you are who you are when you’re when you’re growing up yeah you know it isn’t until you grow up and you look back and you’re like man I was just flirting so many things out and I just did not know I just didn’t know about life even when I’d even when I did know about it I mean and you even realized that now I’m just like man I even even at 8:36 you know I’m like man when I was thirty yeah what was I thinking you know you did and I think that’s it hopefully that’s a good thing hopefully you always continue thinking that as time passes but I I want to close with one story which is not to undo everything we just said again did you don’t do as we did don’t even do as we said or say just you know don’t do do the right thing when you were dating amber I mean when you were dating Hannah and I was dating amber I do remember at some point being somewhere somebody’s house and there was some kissing going on there was always a room but there was some kissing going on making out yeah it was yeah you could call it extended kissing sessions and you know you turn your head to kiss a girl such that you know I learned that in the shower in the nozzle doesn’t turn with you that’s a problem keep spraying water right through the wall the wall just stays there but a girl will usually turn her head the other way I kiss the bedpost once – yeah it remains stationary he’s laying kissing a girl with a neck brace your mom walks in you’re kissing a bedpost that’s weird that’s that’s why you kiss the shower because he’s not gonna pull the curtain back right hopefully so I remember kissing amber and I do the head turn and now I’ve got a clear closing my eyes but for some reason I open my eyes I’m like who else is kissing in this room you know and I look over and I see you kissing Anna and you have done the same thing you have turned your head and now we are making eye contact while kissing these girls and there was a bit of us but you’re not telling anybody about this no no there at first there was a bit of a I should avert my you know we shouldn’t be making eye contact this is unnatural we shouldn’t be doing this but then there was a second thought it was like you know this is pretty cool there’s my best friend over there you know he’s kissing a girl I’m kissing a girl we just made eye contact you know I would give him a head nod or something but it would only get creepy yeah no it wasn’t a creepy thing I don’t it’s just a moment I don’t exactly remember this moment I do but I can’t imagine that it was more about sizing up the competition almost like okay you know we got to be tit-for-tat here you know no pun intended if you are you know if you’re making progress I got it you know I got to make some progress to kind of a thing and Zack wes is over there and you know kissing somebody he’s always in the room kissing somebody it’s like a NASCAR race there could be an announcer lots of engines revving I don’t know any analogy is dangerous I guess I should just shut up I’ve confessed way too much but yeah I’m not gonna say that I was happy that I actually your eyes met mine while I was kissing my girl five you saying it was it was it was a moment in our friendship and I appreciated it well this has ended on an awkward note but we cannot apologize for it we can plug a sponsor and that’ll make everything okay this episode is brought to you by Squarespace everything you need to create an exceptional website for a free trial and 10% off go to Squarespace calm and use our offer code that’s our and lra and dl it’s a great way to support ear biscuits thanks for hanging out with us I think this was very conversational you may have felt like you were just kind of sitting in on a calm between the two of us and we want to do this again we’re hoping that monthly we can have this rhett and Link only episode but we want to incorporate more of your questions so maybe make it more of a conversation with you the listener well and also you know what else do you want us to talk about you mean you can let us know a good way to do that is on SoundCloud where you can 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just gonna make my own you can do that if you want to but we will not promote it or acknowledge it but we do value your loyalty but we do not value competition until next week when there’ll be another one of these find us on the Internet [Music] [Music]