(upbeat music) – Welcome to Ear Biscuits, the podcast where two lifelong friends talk about life for a long time, I’m Link. – And I’m Rhett. This week at the round table of dim lighting, Link is pulling back his curtain. – Uh huh, and you know what’s back there? It’s a furry little. – An animal. That sounds suggestive. – Yeah. – Even saying you’re pulling back your own curtain. But this is something that. – Pulling back the curtain and I’m exposing my kitty. – Everybody (laughing) has been speculating, asking questions about. Of course, at some point last year, you did an episode where you talked all about the presentation, the very good presentation, that your daughter Lily did in order to, basically ask. – Sway us into getting a cat. – To get a cat. And we haven’t really, we’ve hinted at the fact that a cat is present, but this is now, you’re gonna let us know all about the cat. – I’ve been, yeah, we’ve been living with this cat. And I’ve been taking notes, I’ve been observing what it’s, what a cat is like. What it’s like to have a cat. What impact the cat has on the Neal household. Everything was in order. Every, you know, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, kinda thing. But, you know we have to bring a cat into the equation, and so, a lot of question marks. So, I’m, you know, I’m on edge for my reasons, Christy’s on edge for her reasons. But, yes, we did it. We did get the cat. Because I’m a Lily person, you know? I’m decidedly a dog person. Like, Jade, you know, is, I adore that dog. Thought about bringing her in today, but then I didn’t want to sit here and talk about a cat the whole time and her to get upset. – She would have. – So yeah. I’ve spent enough time with this cat that I’m ready to give you a full download on what it’s like. And there’s still some lingering questions. – (laughing) Okay. Do you think that someone who is thinking about getting a cat, that this will be a useful podcast for them? – Uh, I think so, yeah. – And do you think that after hearing your story, will there be a definitive conclusion that they will come to? That you intend for them to come to. – Well, you’ll have to wait and see. I think the preponderance of evidence might lead us to a certain conclusion, but I haven’t, I’m not intentionally taking this to a certain place. As with most all of the podcasts that I’m bringing something to the table, I’m just trying to be honest, and as real as possible about this. And then, you know, whatever fallout comes from it, we’ll just have to deal with. – There’s gonna be fallout? – (laughing) There might be. – From cat lovers, specifically? I’ve experienced my fair share of fallout from cat lovers. – Now, you’ve met this cat, but we’ll wait to interject your meeting, ’cause I kinda want to go in a little bit more of a chronological order. – Okay, all right. – First of all, I call him the cat. I refer to him as the cat. You know, there’s been this distancing that has happened. It’s like, okay, I’m in observational mode. I feel like it’s his job to win me over. – That’s not gonna work. – If we’re gonna have a future together, he’s gotta put some work in, too. This is not just gonna be a me thing. – Cats and work, I’m not sure is a. – When Lily, you know, as I went through our response to her presentation, one of my stipulations was I can exploit my experiences with this cat for entertainment purposes in perpetuity. She agreed to that. So now, here I am doing that. – Do you seek approval from your children for any? – If it’s sensitive, if it’s something. – But in any, my. – You didn’t complete your question. – Anything that comes into the house. – Oh, I thought you were gonna ask do I seek approval if I wanna talk about my kids on the show. – Oh, of course I do that. – Oh, okay. – But, I’m just saying, if something comes to the doors of the house that’s not one of my kids, I feel like that’s fair game to talk about on the podcast. – Like one of their dumb friends? – (laughing) Well. – Man, my kid’s got a dumb friend, y’all wanna hear about it? (both laughing) If something comes through my house, and then becomes a part of the house, absolutely. I’ve got a monetize it. – Right, yeah. – And she was on board. Because she really wanted to get a cat. So I’ve been calling the cat, the cat when I refer to it. It’s not like the cat comes when I call it anyway. I mean, when Lily calls the cat, the cat will perk up, and sometimes come to her, but it doesn’t happen with anybody else. But, the cat’s proper name is Sokka. – Okay. – S O K K A. – This was the cat’s given name? – He’s an orange, no Lily gave him that name. He’s an orange tabby cat, and he does have white socks. His paws, all four of them, are white. But, he was named after the comic relief character in “Avatar: The Last Airbender.” Sokka is the. – Who is a person? – He is a person, yeah. It’s the brother who’s, he and his sister found Aang, the last airbender. That’s a whole other podcast. But it’s kinda related, because Lily discovered that “Avatar: The Last Airbender” was on, they put it on Netflix, and as a dose of nostalgia she decided to rewatch it and then Lando started watching it for the first time. And then they just started begging the rest of the family to watch it, saying that, you know what, there’s something magical about this show. You’re gonna love it. And, we, I actually ended up loving this show. Some episodes are hit or miss, but it actually is a pretty great show, and it’ll surprise you with the level of depth with the characters, the journeys that they go on, the character arcs, the humanity associated with the villains in this show. And story structure, those things were really groundbreaking for a Nickelodeon, what I’ll call a anime rip off. But I don’t mean to offend anybody. – So it wasn’t an anime that was then overdubbed it with English? – No. – Hmm, I didn’t know that. – I’m even hesitant to use the term anime because people define it different ways, and I, you know. Lincoln is really into anime, so he kinda likes to. – Well, people who are really into it say anime, so. – (laughing) Okay. – If you were really into it. – I know I’m stepping in it. – But you know what? Uncle Iroh is one of my favorite characters in anything. You don’t even know who I’m talking about, but maybe. – He’s bald, right? – Uh, anyway, so being obsessed, and re obsessed with “Avatar: The Last Airbender,” she named the cat Sokka. Now, I call the cat, the cat. And if I don’t, sometimes I’ll refer to him as Thomas. Which makes Lily feel really weird. Like, the things that make Lily feel weird, like, the way that I can mess with her, it’s so funny. Like, “Hey Thomas, come here Thomas.” And then I’ll, like, pet him on the head. It’ll just, like, make her feel strange. – Is this because it was the name of your cat that you had? – When I was a kid, Thomas was my cat. It was actually just a tomcat that roamed the neighborhood. And he would come into the shed behind our house. And there was a big pile of carpeting, and he would perch on that carpeting. And I would go in there and I would pet him. – And you’d say, “Hey, Thomas.” – I would say, “Hey, Thomas.” – Glad I wasn’t present for that. – You never met Thomas? – I don’t think so. – There was also a black female cat which we called Midnight. And Midnight would not let anyone pet her. – Another feral cat? – Yeah, so his name’s Sokka, but I call him Thomas sometimes. – I don’t name the feral cats that roam my neighborhood. – I don’t either, and I haven’t, but. – One of them came in my house, remember that? Walked right across my fricking couch. – What do you mean? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it caught on the camera. – Yeah. – (laughing) That’s crazy. – I mean, he came in my house, didn’t name him. – I mean, I don’t have a good track record with cats because Thomas just disappeared and never came back again. I got a cat just a few years after that. I was still young, like in middle school. Got this little calico cat, and. – I remember this. – My mom would let me, it would sleep in the bed with me, like up by my head. And then one day my mom looked, and she said, “What is that on your pillow?” And there was, like, a little worm. And I think that worm had come out of the cats anus. – Well, that’s pretty common. – And so she immediately gave the cat back. Like, there was no taking it to the vet. I’m sure there was a very simple fix for this, but, like. – That’s like a classic. – It freaked me out, too. – It’s just like a classic, late ’80s, sort of, this is what happened when our pets had problems in the ’80s. – Just give it back. – Just give it back, man. Just give that cat back. Like, now you gotta, obviously you gotta figure this out on your own, and fix the cat, but she just gave it back. Gave it back to who? – I’m not gonna, I don’t know. I’m not gonna reveal it at this point, but Sokka does have a problem. – Worms? – No, Sokka has a problem that has not been fixed yet. And it needs to happen pretty soon. And I’m gonna get to that a little bit later. But, um, like I said, I’m such a dog person, you know? My main concern was, I mean, I have a whole bunch of concerns, but my main concern in bringing a cat into the house is that how is this gonna affect Jade. Jade is a very jealous, protective dog. You know, I bring her in here, and she, like, it’s embarrassing, she’ll like protect me from other dogs. And I’m like, hey, there’s nothing to see here, Jade. Just chill out, you know? – [Rhett] Yeah. – I didn’t know if Jade was gonna, ’cause it’s like, Sokka came, showed up, like, such a little kitten. I didn’t know if Jade was gonna eat the kitten. Or at least hate the kitten. You know, I don’t know. – But she had, she actually did, when we introduced Barbara and Jade to that cat in the vlog last year, Jade did better than Barbara. – But the theory was that was because that was in neutral territory, being at your house. So I didn’t know for sure if she would be more assertive and protective of her own zone, and her own people within her own zone. So I was concerned about that. But on the opposite end, my hope and my vision is that Jade will love and accept this kitten, and that they will sleep together. – Uh, that’s not gonna make a new animal. – (laughing) I want pictures of them curled up together in his plushy bed. – M’kay, I thought you were trying to breed them. – No, I’m not opposed to that. I mean, if they hit it off. – That would be kind of weird. – That’d be crazy. – A cat dog? – I mean, like a liger. – A cog? – Yeah. – A dat? – It could happen. – I think a cog is a lot better. – I don’t think it could happen. – No, it’d be sterile. – I think it can’t happen. Because a cog or a dat, neither one of those is, it’s not a good name. It’s not like a liger. – [Rhett] Yeah, it’s got. – Like, oh, they gotta mate because that name is just asking for it, they’re begging for it. – I think it might have something to do with how far back the lineage was established, evolutionarily speaking on the evolutionary tree. – It probably does, it probably does. And, by the way, I got lots of photos and videos of Sokka. And as I’m talking about his interaction with Jade, and what I’m about to tell you, and basically everything I’ve got footage to support this. So, if you’re just listening to this, go over to the video version on YouTube channel, it’s the Ear Biscuits YouTube channel. – Hey, welcome, I’m waving at you. – We’re gonna chock that thing full of Sokka footage. Honestly, I was taking a lot of footage early on because I was documenting Jade and Sokka meeting. And I had this idea, we talked about it, of, like, doing a vlog on the Rhett and Link channel that was just about introducing Sokka to the world. That was an idea for awhile. – Yeah, but we abandoned that. – But then, the footage kinda grew, and grew, and grew, and I didn’t know what to do, do, do with it. – Well, now we’ve got. – I just thought this would be perfect. – Like a mini documentary about your cat. – Yeah, the video version of Ear Biscuits we put visual aids on all that stuff. So my main concern was them meeting, and I read up about this. Okay, you’re supposed to put the cat in- – Butts first, butt to butt. – Well, in a little crate, in a little carrier, put the kitten in there in Lily’s room. And then close the door, don’t let Jade in the room. And let the cat out of the crate, and for a few days, maybe a week, get used to just that one space, Lily’s room where he does his business, not in her closet, we didn’t put the litter box in her closet, thanks for that advice. We put it in, Lily has her own bathroom, and it’s in there. But getting used to that space, getting acclimated. – And Jade will immediately know that there’s a cat present in the house, via the smell alone. – So, a dog can smell, man. – Yeah. – And especially when there’s a big crack under the door, you can see, like, a paw coming out sometimes. She definitely knew something was up. But she would sit out there and kind of whimper, and sniff, and sniff, and sniff. But, after a few days of that, stage two was put Sokka in her, his carrier. That’s the other thing, is calling Sokka her for the longest time. – I did that. – Because Jade, you’re so used to having one animal in the house that’s a her, you’re not used to a he in the house. You put him in the little crate, and then you let Jade come in, and he’s protected in the crate, and then Jade can inspect the cat visually, nasally, but not actually devour. – And how did that go the first time. – Jade was really keyed up, and Sokka just seemed, like, not too afraid, just kind of like. I mean, at first, there was some nose touching. But then there was, and some cringing, but then it was mostly just, the kitten, like, didn’t care that much. It’s, like, very much convinced that Jade could not get to him, which was true. So there were a number of days of bringing in the dog to sniff the crate and the cat in full protection. But then I’m like, the next stage is to get the cat out. – Put it in a dog costume. (link laughs) There’s multiple steps to this. – And then just let them meet each other. So what I ended up doing was, and at this point I kinda got scared for Jade. I was like, I think that, I mean, the claws on this animal. – Cat’s can hurt a dog. – Like, could blind my dog. That would be very upsetting to me. – Yeah. – If a Jade eyeball got scratched out because of, like, how I’m going about this. So I would hold Jade in my lap. I would restrain Jade, and then we would let the cat out of the crate, and just kind of run around the room. After a few days of this, eventually it was like letting them run around a little bit. Jade would chase the cat underneath the bed. But Jade was afraid to go underneath the bed, even though she should totally be able to do that. – But she wasn’t mad, she was playing with her. – She was very inquisitive, yeah, her tail was wagging. – Like, she was afraid to go under the bed, period, or she was afraid to go under the bed when the cat’s under there? – I think period. (both laughing) Yeah, she’s got her own. – She’s got some issues. – Issues. – Yeah. But the cat would, I mean, the cat could not just, wouldn’t go in and just cower. The cat would keep coming back out and, like, giving Jade a little taste of catness, and then going back in. – What about, like, the pat, the pity pats that the cat would do with the hand? They’re really good at that, did he do that? – That eventually started happening, like a little batting of the face. – That’s my favorite thing about cats. – A lot of that, like, bowing up and doing the cat pose, where it’s like, the fur goes up and the back goes up. You know those, like the Halloween cat pose? Or I guess you just call that the Cat in yoga. – Mm, Cat and Cow, yeah. – No Cow, just the Cat. – Yeah, just the Cat. – So, over a few weeks we got them to the point that they could be in the same room together. And they just, they would, Jade would start coming out, and then he would start coming out of the room and seeing the rest of the house. And Jade would chase the cat back into the room. And then Jade would be happy. And then after a while, Sokka would run out, and Jade would chase the cat. And then the cat would run away. And then the cat would come back, and Jade would run. And then it got to a point where they were, like, chasing each other all around the living room. – But this is still playful. And it’s, well, I think Jade saw it as playful and I think Sokka saw it as military training or something. You know, it was like, “I’m gonna engage.” And everything seems like training for this cat. – How do you know that? – ‘Cause he is a wild beast. I mean, every point of observation, for me, supports the fact that this thing is not tame in any way. I mean, his pupils dilate, and they’re just, like, totally black. Like, it reminds me of the cat in “Shrek.” Remember when he was, like, his pupils would just dilate, and he’d go into this. – That makes him cute, though. – Oh, no, when he would do it, it would be like he entered some fugue state where he stalks around the house, and just looking for the next thing to attack. I mean, he’ll shred the edge of the couch with his claws. – But they are less, I mean, I have to believe that a cat, a current cat, is much closer to the original of whatever was taken from the wild to be domesticated than a dog is. – I was talking to Lily about this last night. – It’s gotta be wildly different. – I was like, “When I look at this cat, Lily, it’s like, I can see a tiger in this cat.” – I don’t think they come from tigers though. – A huge, ferocious tiger. But when I look at a dog, the only thing I can see is a reasonably sized wolf. You know, it’s like, it has the same form as something that could just, it’s like a zoological tank, that’s what a tiger is, man. It’s a furry tank. – But, what I’m saying is I think that a cat, I think, like, a house cat is, if you go back 15,000 years, 10,000, 20,000 years, whatever, there’d be like, cats that look like your cat just out in the wild. Think about a bobcat, right. A bobcat is not that different than a cat, right? But Jade and Barbara look absolutely nothing like a wolf. That’s what I was saying. Is that the difference between what was domesticated and what we have is so different in a dog. But there hasn’t been nearly as much, there’s also not nearly as much variety genetically. I mean, I know there’s like the Maine Coon, which is like this giant cat. – Huge, right. – But just think about the difference between a Teacup Poodle, Chihuahua, and a Great Dane. They’re the same species, man. But they don’t have that kind of genetic variety in a cat. And is that just because we haven’t chosen to breed them in the same way? I think all it means is that they’re closer to the original, wild thing, for sure. – Maybe they’re not as malleable. – And that’s why they can just go live in the wild, feral. If you put Barbara, I mean, when we put Barbara outside to pee in our fenced in backyard, which, by the way, doesn’t even have real grass, Jessie’s like, “You gotta keep an eye on her.” – Oh, and you do have to. – Because- – A coyote will come. – A coyote, a, you know, mountain lion, whatever. – I think a coyote would get a cat, too. But they’ll put up a much better fight. – The cat has a better chance to get away. – A better fighting chance. – Barbara is like a marshmallow that just rolls directly into the coyote’s mouth. – One of the biggest adjustments we had to make was remembering to close the door behind us when we let Jade out. ‘Cause we escort Jade out to watch for coyotes. – ‘Cause the cat is your prisoner. – The cat is the prisoner, yes. I mean, if the cat got out, the cat got out once, and immediately darted out the door, went to the right, and then went through a hole, and went under the house. Just like that. The only time that Sokka’s been out of the house, it went under the house immediately. And, I mean. – Now how did you solve that? – Lily brought out some tinkly thing that it was enticed to attack. And that’s what you do. I mean, it sees feet as, like, moving meat. If you’re barefoot, this thing will attack and decimate your toes, your heel, everything. The cat likes to bite everything. It’s just like, it’s like a killer saying, “I choked him just to see what it felt like to kill a man.” You know? – You’re putting a lot onto this cat. – He sinks his teeth into- – You think the cat would eat your foot if you didn’t move it? – Hell, yes. – He would keep eating it? – Well, he doesn’t eat it, he likes the feeling of his razor sharp teeth slowly sinking into it. The worst thing for Christy, it drives her crazy, he will prowl up to her plants, look straight at her, and then just chomp down on a leaf. – [Christy] Out, Sokka! – You know, I mean, Christy’s plants are her pride and joy. – I’ve been following on Instagram as she has come up, tried different methods to try to keep. – All types of contraptions. There’s like, aluminum foil lining the pots, and she’s spraying orange on stuff. – I’m sure you’re, maybe you’re at this point in what you’re gonna say, but, this is, like, now that you’re getting into the things that the cat does, this is where I start to think about both you and Christy both value. – Order. – Order, cleanliness, and, like, things not being torn up. – It’s hard to train a cat. – And a cat contributes negatively to all those things. Like your plant, your furniture. Does that stuff go away? I mean, again, dogs also do this, but dogs are much easier to control, so dog’s stop doing it. But, I mean, the cat’s only still a few months old. – I have the answer to your question. But first, let’s promote some stuff. Go to mythical.com to get the mythical travel mug. Look at this good, there’s a Good Mythical Morning travel mug. It’s yellow, it’s crazy looking. And then you got this one, it’s just classy looking. – Yeah, it’s just for whatever mood you’re in, you know? If you’re in a mood that, I’m feeling a little bit cool and gray today. – I love it. – I love it, too. – It’s got a nice cap on it. Go to mythical.com, drink your boys. (cup clanking) He will scale the back of the high back chair in our living room like a rock climber. Just like with his claws. You know, you can put tape over stuff, and you can spray stuff on stuff, but, like, he just keeps clawing at things. He hasn’t shredded anything to death. And the type of fabric that we have on that chair is the type that it doesn’t show that he’s shredding it. But I don’t know, one day maybe we’ll just see cushion. But we haven’t had a lot of luck there. He just, we have a spray bottle. The main thing is, like, you know, Christy walks around with like, she’s in the wild west, with two. – Two? (Link imitates bottles squirting) With just water? – She’s just like, yeah, hitting him in the face. And sometimes, I don’t know, he hates it, but it’s not like he runs too far. He doesn’t hate it that much. I have no complaints when it comes to his bathroom stuff. And, credit to Lily, I haven’t smelled poop, I haven’t seen poop or pee. And she’s taking care of that. – So he’s already totally trained in that way? – Yeah, all of that’s reliably in her bathroom. Now, she also feeds him in her room, and that, the food stinks. – Cat food’s worse than dog food. – And Jade sneaks in there and eats all of it. And then Sokka will sneak out and eat Jade’s food. I think they’ve got a system. – A little battle. Well, it’s just more variety, I’d do it. – But, watching him play with Jade is amusing. That’s something that I have gotten on board with. They’ll wrestle, like I said, I mean, Sokka kinda thinks it’s combat training, and Jade just thinks it’s fun. But, you know, the claws aren’t out, but they’re biting each others neck, and their hind legs, and just running around like, really like two friends. And it’s good for Jade because she was no where near as active as she is without Sokka in the house. So, I think that’s a cool aspect of it that I didn’t expect. – She’s getting her exercise in? – She’s getting her exercise in. So this is good for Jade. Jade has accepted Sokka to an extent. But, I mean, there’s still been a lot of adjustments. Like, every morning I wake up, and Lily is sleeping in the TV room. Because Sokka, when the sun rises, Sokka will get on the bed and just insist that Lily wakes up with the sunrise. And she said that she’ll, like, put her head under the covers. And Sokka will, like, dig in there and, like, claw at her, and just insist that she play with him. So she just leaves the, abandons her bedroom, and every single morning she’s sleeping on the couch. And then by the time I get up at like 6:00 A.M., I sit down, I drink my coffee. I just hear the cat just like crying in the room. Meow, meow, let me out, let me out, let me out. So I’ll let the cat out and he’ll, like, stalk around and look for something to sink his teeth into. But, I mean, you know, I’m trying to be even keel about this, I’m trying to look for the things that are somewhat positive. – Okay, I’m still waiting. – Okay, I think I’ve got something. So, like, I’m sitting there drinking my coffee in the morning, and I’m just thinking, there is no love in this cat. It’s like, I really do want, I want the cat to curl up in my lap, I want the cat to receive love and give love. Just give me a little something, cat. Just, you know, I try to pet you. Picking him up is like handling a cactus. It’s like, the only prickly parts that are on his fingertips, but he gets them everywhere, and he just wants to get down. Christy was down doing some yoga stretches on the ground, and then she got, like, her hand got this huge gouge in it. Just from doing stretches. – Well, okay. – Like, bleeding. – And back in the day, and I understand why we don’t do this anymore, I’m sure there’s some people who still do it, but back in the day they just took the claws out of the cat, and I. – That’s illegal. – I understand it’s inhumane to do that because then the cat is no longer, it’s like a body part off of the thing. You don’t want to do that. But that’s what people did back in the, I remember. – But they take their balls off. – I remember back. – So, it’s a little different. – Well, but taking their balls off contributes to less, just, you know, cats needing a home. You know, you know Bob Barker, you remember that. But, I remember growing up, if somebody had a cat, they would specify, and maybe this is just in my mind, but, they would be like, “He’s still got his claws.” Like, careful he’s still got his claws, as opposed to all the other cats that don’t. – Yeah. – You know what I mean? And it’s like, now you can’t even do that. And I’m not advocating that you should. But my question is, it’s what I had earlier, which is, is. – I wish he didn’t have claws, naturally. – But, no, but, is, if you. – Or teeth. – ‘Cause people give. – That’d be cute. – ‘Cause people have, like, the carpet tower cat things. – We have a couple of those. – But do they, is there a way to train them in the way that you train a dog to be like, “You can do your claw stuff on this, but you can’t do it on this.” Or is that, are you gonna get there? – I refuse to be the one to do all the research. – Oh, okay. – But, I’m like, Lily, you need to figure this out. You need to figure out how to train this cat. Like, Christy’s doing research to protect her plants, she’ll probably get to these answers. But, you know, I can only be. If I start researching it, then everyone starts looking to me as the one with the answers, you know? – All the cat people listening are like, “Guys, I can tell you all this.” – I’m sure it’s simple. – “Just google it.” – But it’s important to me to not have to be the guy who’s training this cat. And, honestly, I would rather have some plants and some furniture messed up a little bit than me to have to be the IT guy, so to speak. Oh, can you fix my email, can you fix my cat? – Now, how has this impacted travel? Because, obviously, we haven’t really done much travel. – Next time we travel. – But, what is it? – We’re not gonna bring the cat. – But, okay, so you’re just taking it to a boarding place? – Or get somebody, as he gets older, get somebody to just come by. – ‘Cause they can just kinda camp out by themselves. – Yeah, he’s probably happier that way anyway. The only way you can really give the cat love is if he’s asleep. If he’s curled up in a place. – [Rhett] It’s kind of a one way thing. – You can pet him, and then he’ll keep his eyes closed, and you can even, like, pet his chest, and his stomach. ‘Cause I’m trying to train him to let us pet him everywhere. – Now, when we’ve talked about this before. – And he’ll receive that. – We’ve talked about this aspect of cats before. Many people have pointed out with me that cats actually are for people who have more self confidence, or whatever, and are less needy, and less narcissistic. Because dogs give you that love, but cats don’t. And then other people have said cat, no, my cat, I can’t remember when we’ve said this, but we talked about cats not being a loving as dogs and then all of a sudden everybody started tweeting at me. – Everybody has an affectionate cat all of a sudden? – All of the affectionate cats that wanted love from them. So is it that your cat can grow to be a loving cat? – I hope so. – Or is it that your cat is just a demon cat, and it will always be a demon cat, and some cats are not like that, and it’s just on average more dogs give more attention to humans than cats? – Rarely, in the morning, again, if I’m drinking my coffee, I let him out of his room, he’s stalking around looking for something to kill, after a few minutes of that, he has hopped up on the couch beside me. And, like, inspected the couch next to me, and I notice he’s purring. And I’ll like, I’ll rub his head. – That means he wants to eat you, right? – But he won’t come sit in my lap. I can tell he like it, but I can also tell that his true passion is finding the next thing to kill. So I’m like, I’m saying, “Look doesn’t this feel good, don’t you like this?” Right here, like, his jawline, like, he loves to be petted right there. The purring is such a tease because, I’m fascinated by it. It’s so calming to me, I’m drinking my coffee, I’m petting this animal, and it’s releasing this vibratory hum that is just, you know what? If I could change one thing about Jade. – Give her the purr? – I wish she could purr. That’s the one thing I’ve noticed that I’m like, man, Jade needs that upgrade. – You could probably get that installed in Beverly Hills. There’s probably that option. – It’s kinda like a pace maker for a dog. Like the vibration chip. – They can do it, they can put anything in there. – In a mobile phone, you just put that in the dog’s larynx. Or something. I don’t know what makes it, how do cats purr, man? It’s fascinating. – I’m sure we could also Google that. – No, let’s not, let’s just. – Speculate. – Conjecture about it. – I think it might be magic. – Is it like a friendly old man making tea, like Uncle Iroh making his tea and he’s, like, humming to himself? (Link humming) Is it that? Is is a cat humming a song? – Well, in my experience they always seem somewhat content when purring, so it feels like it might be that kind of thing. – I mean, it’s. – But does it feel directed to you? – It kinda did, because he came up on the couch, when I’m petting him the purr increases a little bit. – You see, there’s nothing wrong with this. – When he’s just napping, he’s not purring. – Let me just take a little aside to say that, for everybody who said that, as a dog person, all that means is that I’m just more needy, I’ll just say, you’re right. I mean, like, that’s why we have a dog. We have a dog for the companionship that the dog provides. We have a dog for the joy that the dog provides. – It makes me so happy that she insists on being with me. – And I sit down on my couch, and Barbara jumps up, and then looks at me, and if I don’t look at her, if I don’t make eye contact with her and start touching her, she’s mad at me. (Link growling) She’ll start barking, growling, she’ll take her hand, and she’ll take her hand, and first thing she does is she takes her hand and she puts it on her head to show me what she wants. – On her own head? – Yes, and then if I don’t do that, she takes her hand and puts it on my hand. Or takes her whole face and puts it in my hand. And I love this. It brings me joy, there’s a serotonin boost. Now, I’m not saying that cats don’t do that. People have shown me evidence that their cats do do this. But I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting that from an animal. – Don’t be defensive. – I fully admit that’s why I’m a dog person. ‘Cause they’re more reliably into me. – If a dog could purr, it would all be over. – Well that’s where the cog comes in, and I think we could do it. – I think it would just, I mean, ‘Cause. – If you put enough resources into it. – That purring thing is magical, man. It’s like, I mean, it’s like the massage setting on your recliner but it’s a living being that’s, like, well, he’s not in my lap yet, but, like, I want him to be there eventually. – Well, speaking of eventually, I am interested in this dynamic that’s developing, which is. First of all, I’m sure all the cat people are gonna tell us that things are gonna get better for you, and the cat’s gonna chill out as it gets older, whatever. Probably, right? But. – I think so, yeah. – Lily is going to college next year. – She thinks she’s taking this cat with her. And I just don’t- – What college is that where you take a cat with you? – Yeah, I don’t know. We don’t know where she’s going. – The cat keeper college? – We’re starting to get letters of acceptance from different places. But, yeah, we don’t know, it’s too early to tell. But I just, yeah, I’m assuming that the cat is. – You can’t take a cat in a dorm room. – The cat is not going with her. And I told her that. I was like, “Listen, this is a decision.” – She gonna sneak a cat onto a college? – I have to assume this cat’s gonna be part of our lives, and she’s gonna come back home and say, “Oh, I miss you so much, but I abandoned you to college, and didn’t think about that really.” – And then when she graduates college, or when she gets an apartment in, like, the last two years of college, then she’ll take the cat back with her. – Can you believe that we’re even having this conversation? That I have a child that this fall is going off to college? – Yeah, I mean, I can’t wait for my kids to leave the house. (both laughing) – It’s crazy. – Just kidding. But they don’t, my kids don’t have a cat, so, it’s different. – Yeah, she did this to us. She tricked us into this, and used this whole pandemic dynamic. It’s like, you know. – Everybody got a little bit weak. Jessie has really been pushing for dog number two. And now that you guys, we’ve both been talking about number two for a really long time. And Jessie is constantly showing me pictures of other dogs. And I love dogs, but I also think about, just the added responsibility. – You should do it. Give Barbara a playmate. Even with Sokka, that’s such a great thing for Jade. She’s healthier, she’s engaged, she’s off the couch. – Barbara seems happy. – I don’t feel as guilty about giving her walks anymore. – You mean not giving her walks? – Yeah, that’s what I meant. Sokka can do so many things that Jade can’t. And I’m trying to, the only way I can really enjoy Sokka is the purring, trying to convince her that I’m worthy of his love. That doesn’t feel good. But just being able to observe this wild animal in my house, I’m just trying to embrace that as kinda cool. He watches TV. You know, Jade, in Jade’s lifetime I’ve only seen Jade watch TV like twice. It’s so strange. It’s like, two times in all these years? Jade was, there was a dog barking on television, now she’s looking at it for a second. But like, she never watches TV. – Barbara’s the same way, and this is not, first of all, I watch enough Instagram videos to know that there’s lots of dogs and cats that watch television and make real connections with the things on the screen. But, I can, like, if I’m not with Jessie, and we’re FaceTimeing, and Barbara’s with her. – And you talk? – And then I talk, and Jessie’s putting my face right in front of her. – You use the Barbara voice? – It’s like I don’t exist. – Jade will respond to that. – If I am in two dimensions, I do not exist in Barbara’s mind. – Jade will hear my voice and respond to it, but she won’t connect with the screen. – I think it would be, a hologram would work. – I mean, Sokka will watch, if you put like the whole laser pointer thing, or even if light reflects off your watch onto the wall, he’s going to attack that. So, again, he watches TV, Jade doesn’t do that. You know how in my hallway when you’re walking down into the TV room, there’s that one step up? Because where my stairs come down, the stairs don’t time out correctly, so there’s like one whole step up area in my hallway. So, if you were running at top speed, you could trip ’cause you have to step up and then back down into my TV room. Jade, once it gets dark, Jade will, if we’re all in the TV room, she will, we’ll hear a whimpering, and she will be four feet in front of that one step, and she is afraid to walk up that step and come in the TV room. – So she’s in the hall, and she’s afraid to go up the step, and then down into the TV room? – Yes. – It’s like a barrier. – It’s like a cow and, like, a cow fence, or something. I think she sees it as a big hole or something, that’s my theory. So, I’ll go in there, and I used to pick her up, I babied her a lot. – Oh, yeah, really? – (chuckling) Yeah. But I’ve stopped doing that, and I go behind her, and I use foot, and I nudge her in the butt, and I make her skid all the way up to that step and then jump over it. Sokka on the other hand, just kinda walks over it. Which is kinda normal. Something else that she does that Jade. – I’m not impressed yet. – Oh, you’re not impressed? – I think that’s more of a Jade deficiency than something to be impressed with. – How about this? So, this could come as no surprise, Jade will not walk up the steps to our bedroom on the second floor. – Well, that’s because she’s seen things. – Sokka will, I’ll be in my bedroom brushing my teeth, or whatnot, sometimes I like to walk around my bedroom while I’m brushing my teeth. – So you go out of the bathroom into the bedroom? – Sometimes, yeah, I just brush my teeth in the. And the cat’s walking around up there. How’d you get up here? Oh yeah, you walked up the stairs because you can do that. – Yeah, that’s not odd, that’s just, that’s normal. You’ve mentioned two things that are just normal. – He can open doors. – Okay, I’m listening. – It’s pretty impressive. Now, big heavy doors, some of them, they’re old and they don’t latch. So, he doesn’t jump up and, like, turn the knob. But, a lot of them don’t latch, and he will sit there and, like, he’ll push his way into rooms through doors. Jade would never think about doing that. So, I’m saying he opens doors. – I think Jade just might be a little, how do I put this? What is a good word for this? – Perfect? – Dumb. (laughing) – (laughing) Jade’s not dumb! Jade’s timid, man. – You think, okay, she’s timid. Okay, that’s what it is. – I mean, a part of it’s my fault because she’s part wiener dog, I was real fixated on not hurting her vertebrae in her back, so. You’re not supposed to let a wiener dog jump down off of couches or beds. – But she’s not really that long, though. – She’s not, she’s not. – So, I don’t know if she’s gonna have that many problems. – She probably wouldn’t, but I was still so concerned about it that, like, I wouldn’t let her run down the steps, and so I would pick her up, and carry her upstairs or carry her downstairs. – It’s definitely your fault, you did it. – But the one step, I never carried her over the one step. That she just, kinda, extrapolated into. – Steps are dangerous. – Steps are bad. – You taught her steps are dangerous. – But it’s kinda good because now I can keep her in places. This cat, you cannot keep this cat anywhere. It’s just, it’s too much. The main problem with Sokka, is. – Well, before you get to the problem. – There’s no problems with Jade. – Before you get to the problem, though. – Jade’s not stupid. – What you just said though, it sounded like, you started and you said, “Things Sokka can do that Jade can’t.” And it was like, and what was I supposed to think about, like, what were we supposed to think about that? Like, oh, okay, cats are, is this a competition, I don’t, what am I supposed to think? – I’m trying to observe and appreciate. – You’re trying to love this cat. – I’m trying to love the cat, man. I’m trying to. – Okay, all right. But what if the cat will never love you? – I think it’s because of his testicle. – Oh, okay, here we go. – He’s got one. – He’s only got one? – Well, there’s only one we can see. And we’re pretty sure there’s another one. – Just like an NFL kicker. (both laughing) – I bet he could kick a mean field goal. – This is an inside joke, and I don’t know how many of you who grew up when we grew up though this, but we were told by someone, and this spread far and wide in our circles that NFL kickers had one testicle removed for flexibility purposes. – Just to be able to get that leg back and forward, to get it way up there. – And I was like, man, you know what, it’s a serious job. I guarantee you they would be willing to do that. I mean, you got two, it’s redundancy anyway. – I mean, you know, the prase, I’d give a left nut to be a NFL kicker is rooted in reality. – It has an origin. – In college it’s outlawed. They had to crack down on it. – Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You have to be a professional, you had to be getting paid to kick a football to have a testicle removed. – A lot of people, and there was that one guy, getting ready for the NFL draft, he had one more year of college, but he wanted to go into the draft, and he got his testicle removed, and it was like but it was a little premature. – No longer eligible. The NCAA cracked down on him. – And then he was left in the lurch. Because he didn’t get drafted. – Couldn’t kick the final year, thought he would get away with it, but you can tell. – You can just, out there on the field. – There’s a few inches of flexibility there, that guy must, oh, he’s missing a ball. – Plus, if you look where the testicles are, sometimes if they’re, you know. That little thing that holds the football? – The tee. – The tee, you know when the college people use the tee, and they bend over to pick up the tee, that’s when you look at them. – Yeah, that’s when you can tell. – That’s when you look at their testicles to see if there’s two. – So, your cat is gonna be an NFL kicker. Why is this a problem? You’re gonna get rid of it anyway. – I think, what I think is that the other testicle is up there, it’s just afraid of him. – You’re saying it hasn’t dropped. – It hasn’t dropped. His ball hasn’t dropped, man. – Can I tell you something real quick? There’s a video I gotta show you, now that you’re talking about testicles dropping. I saw this video of this bull. – I’m a bit afraid. – I saw this video of this bull. – How? – On Instagram. – Oh, God. – And this bull’s balls were hanging so low, that it was swinging around and he was having to step weird to avoid stepping on his own balls. (Link laughing) I gotta show you this video. – I don’t want to see it. – His balls had fully dropped. They were about to drag. (both laughing) Drag and drop. – The old drop and drag. – (laughing) The drop and drag. – Drop and drag. – So that hasn’t happened to Sokka. – Yeah, we took him to the vet, and we said, “Listen, this cat is out of control, please tell us that,” they can’t remove the balls until they drop. Or, unless they, after a certain time of them not dropping. First of all, you gotta remove the balls before they turn a year old, and we’re well within that. – ‘Cause they can go pollinate somewhere. – Yeah, it becomes a problem with them spraying, or whatever. – Oh, I’m talking about sex. I’m talking about the actual act of sex. It will go have sex with something and make another cat. – I know that, but I’m saying there’s also, like, the cats will spray, I don’t even know. – Spray what? – I don’t know, man, I don’t wanna know. That’s why I gotta lob that cat’s nut off. – You don’t know anything about cat’s, man. – I’m telling you everything I know, and it’s a lot. I’ve talked for freaking 50 minutes about everything I know about a cat. – Yeah, well, true. – I think half of what I’ve said is so trope-ish. Because that’s what I’ve learned. – Oh, the cat people are so mad, at both of us. – Cat’s are just tropes man. They’re just stalking tropes, that all they are. But I want it to love me, but I think the balls have got to drop and be removed. Or we gotta, we’re gonna schedule him for exploratory surgery to go up in there, coax the second one down, and then take them both off. And he should mellow out some. That is our hope. – You gonna video that? – Uh, I could. I don’t think I will though. – I was just asking. – I’m not going to, no. – Okay, good, I wouldn’t watch anyway. – Yeah, you would. I mean, when the bull ball video comes up, I’m not gonna watch it. – It’s not that- – Don’t reach for your phone! – It’s not like it’s gross. – When did, where you Googling this? Like, if it just comes across your Instagram, what’s wrong with you, man? Oh, look, what is that? – It’s a comedian I follow that does voices, Tony Baker. Look at this, man. – Oh my gosh, oh my gosh. – Look, look at that. It looks like. – What on earth? – It looks like two baseballs in pantyhose. (both laughing) – Oh my gosh. – It’s just like. – That’s a butter sock, man. You know about a butter sock? – No. – My kids talk about a butter sock all the time. – I’m sure Tony Baker is saying something very funny about it. Shout out to Tony Baker. – Man, double butter sock happening down there underneath that bull, man. Shoot. – So, anyway, that’s what can happen with testicles. – I knew you were gonna make me watch it. Man, I’m gonna be going to bed tonight, and I’m just gonna see that thing dangling. (both laughing) – I don’t know, man. I want to love the cat, maybe the balls will make a difference. I’m sure it will only help. The cat will mellow out over time. Here’s the thing, sometimes I have a ray of hope. Because, sometimes he and Jade will lay down in the sun on the same floor mat. – With the lion and the lamb. – They’re not touching, they’re not in the same bed yet. But they’re enjoying the same patch of sun. And that gives me a little bit of joy. They’re friends. – Can I just tell you how I think this might end? – Yep. – This is anecdotal, of course, based on my experience. In families where there is a cat and a dog, or any combination of numbers of cats and dogs, it seems not to be uncommon that there comes a time in which people seem to have a fruitful, loving, affectionate, two way relationship with the dog, who they refer to by a name. And then the cat, they refer to as the cat. – Yeah. – And the cat does whatever the hell the cat wants to do. And the cat is not really in an emotional relationship with the humans or the dog, it’s just kind of around. – Around. – It’s around. And again, anecdotal, I don’t know if this is representative of the reality, the general reality. But it seems that those families are perfectly happy. And it seems that. – Yeah, he’ll just move to. – The cat is perfectly happy. – He’ll move to the fringe of our society. – But it is a distinctly different thing, in those scenarios. I know that there are cats that are exceptions to this rule. Again, I’ve been tweeted many of them. But, what I’m asking you, is that if that is what is in your future, okay? How do you feel about that? – It could be worse. You know, it’s not what I’m hoping for, but it’s not what I’m afraid of. I could be fine with that. – But what if it’s more about what the cat needs? – And by the way, it’s not gonna keep us from getting another dog. ‘Cause Christy’s also looking at a bunch of dogs and sending me pictures. So I think this cat could move to the fringe. – Especially if you get another dog. I mean, then it’s outnumbered. – Oh, yeah. – And it’s like, okay, I see the writing on the wall. – But, I’ll call him by name, Sokka, likes Jade, and when one of them gets up, Jade gets up late, Jade sleeps late, Jade gets up, and immediately looks for Sokka and they, you know, they are friends, it’s working, you know. So, I don’t think we’re going to that fringe territory yet, and I think, hey, let’s get these balls behind us, and then maybe some purring will enter my life. – What if the purring isn’t as good after the balls are gone? What if the balls have something to do with it? Have you thought about that? And also, different question. – I have not heard that, from anyone. – Do you get to keep the balls, like in a jar? – Oh, yeah, like a rabbit’s foot. – Or you can make a necklace out of them. Or at least earrings, I mean, that would work. – I mean, I have noticed that the ball sack is very furry. – They don’t cut the ball sack off, do they? – I think they do. Yeah, ’cause then you’ve just got this empty sack dangling back there. I don’t think, I’ve never seen a cat with just a flat sack. – I think if there’s not balls in there, it kind of, just sort of, reabsorbs itself almost. – You think they suck the? I will film it, okay? ‘Cause I know you’re into this. – Having never done this kind of surgery. – The way to get Rhett into cats. Start with the balls. – Never done this kind of surgery before, or even thought about it. I’ve never done surgery of any kind, I’ve never had surgery done on me, but. – I think they cut the sack, man. And then they suture the sack. – Well, I know that in the case of a bull, a lot of times what they’ll do is they’ll put. – You and your bull balls, man. – They’ll put like a rubber band of some kind above them and then the balls just fall off. Again, that could be like the NFL kicker thing. – That bull you showed me doesn’t need a rubber band. He could use a whole PVC pipe. – How many times has he accidentally stepped on his own balls, though? Just in that one seven second clip, he almost stepped on his balls at least three times. – You’re gonna make Keiko put this in the video version, too. – No, I’m not, you can find it. – Do it, Keiko, we don’t care. Put it in there. – No, don’t, don’t. – The bottom line is, man, Sokka makes Lily happy. I don’t know why or how, but he does. And you know what, like I said at the beginning, I’m ultimately, I’m a Lily person. And I will hopefully win this cat over. And then, maybe it’ll be more of a connection to Lily when she’s off at college, I don’t know. Maybe there’s something to that. – Well, I think maybe one day the cat is going to, you’re gonna leave the door open, you don’t mean to. – Oh gosh. – The cat’s gonna get out, and then some time is gonna pass. It might be hours, it might be days. And the cat’s gonna come back. And it’s gonna have something in it’s mouth. Bird, mouse, gopher. – Bull ball sack? – It could potentially. And it’s going to place it at the threshold of one of your doors as an offering to you. And that will be when it has determined that you are it’s god. And at that point. – That’s what we’re after. – You get the love that you’re after. That your ego needs. – And until then, maybe I need to play more hard to get. – Yeah, don’t be too obvious. – I betcha I could train Jade to purr. – Think about, if you were trying to get a person interested in you that didn’t seem interested, seeming pathetic, and seeming like a try hard isn’t gonna do it. I think you’ve got to be subtle. And I think you’ve got to play the cat game. – What have I told you about my actions that you’re now describing as pathetic and try hard. I just pet the cat when it’s sleeping. – You seem a little too into the purring. I would play that closer to the vest. (Link laughing) – Okay, you know, I think we’re in this for the long haul. Unless we get, you know, my in-laws, I can’t tell that story, it’s too cruel. (Rhett laughing) – They lost a cat. – Yeah, yeah, I’m not, it’s. – It was a strange circumstance. – It would be funny in a book written in the ’50s. – Yeah. (both laughing) – You know what I’m saying? It’s that kind of humor. Right, okay. – Oh, my gosh. Well, you know what? Let’s give a rec, it’s your turn to give a rec. – You know, sometimes I like to tie these things in thematically to what we talked about. But, I guess, I mean, you did talk about how your cat sees everything as meat. – Okay. – As I like to do, in giving culinary related recommendations, my recommendation this week is the Thermopro digital instant read thermometer. Not a sponsor, oops no internet, I tried to click on it. This thing is, well, I can’t, – It’s just a meat thermometer. – It’s not that much. The thing costs less than $20. I wanted to talk to you about the importance of having a meat thermometer, right? And especially these instant read ones. I’m not talking about one of these ones that you just stick in there and you wait. This thing, so. – I got one, yeah, I use it. – So, I’ll do my, you know you can’t assume that one steak, or one burger, or one piece of chicken is representative of all pieces of chicken. You gotta get every one of those to the correct temperature. And this little hand-held, instant read thermometer, that felt like I said that weird. Is super easy to manage multiple pieces of meat. And when I do my hot chicken, and I’m frying like, 12, 14 thighs at the same time. – You don’t wanna overcook anything, period. – You can’t make assumptions, man. You let the robot do the work. I mean, yes, I know your grandma didn’t use one of these, and she went by her eye. But that’s why your grandma had dry ass chicken. You know what I’m saying? – The meat guys who talk about this stuff, they’re all pro thermometer. Even the, like the charcoal that I buy. Like, high dollar charcoal. It tells you that, you know, get a good meat thermometer. – It’s a piece of information that will help with the final product. – There ain’t no shame in it’s what I’m saying. – And it doesn’t make you a sucka, it makes your meat better. So anyway, and this is one that has worked for me, I’ve got two of them. – Just, here’s my piece of advice, though. Don’t accidentally put it on Celsius, and then cook to that. – Yeah, that would be, yeah, yeah. – ‘Cause, 165 degree chicken, in Celsius. – I don’t even think you, I’m not sure you can. – It’s not even possible, but if you’re waiting for that. – It probably is possible. – You’re gonna burn your chicken in the process. – It will be burnt. – And I’ve been baffled a few times. It’s like, damn, I knew this was done. And it’s like, oh, I gotta toggle to fahrenheit. – And, let me just say, this does not replace the thermometer that you leave in the larger pieces of meat. I don’t do, like, a pork butt, and do the instant read thermometer. – Piece of advice about that, don’t eat that. Make sure you take it out of the meat before you eat the meat. – And do not trust pop out thermometers in Turkey breast. Those don’t work, they’re not reliable. – Now we’re in rant territory. Are you, just, any meat thermometer, or that one specifically? – The Thermopro, not a sponsor, I think it might be Amazon’s choice, and that’s probably why I got it. – It works. – But, it works for me. – It’s got a fold out probe. – Yeah, it’s orange, it’s easy to see. – Nice. LED backlight, when it’s dark out there on the grill? – Yeah, it’s got a light button. – You gotta have it all. #EarBiscuits and let us know, y’all cat people are gonna come out of the woodwork and school us. – Please be gentle with us. – Let’s do it, we like that engagement. – Treat us like a ball of yarn, okay? – We like that engagement. To watch more Ear Biscuits click on the playlist on the right. – [Rhett] To watch the previous episode of Ear Biscuits, click on the playlist to the left. – [link] And don’t forget to click on the circular icon to subscribe. – [Rhett] If you prefer to listen to this podcast, it’s available on all your favorite podcast platforms. Thanks for being your mythical best. (upbeat music)