Welcome to “Ear Biscuits,” the podcast, where two lifelong friends talk about life for a long time. I’m Rhett. And I’m Link. This week at the round table of dim lighting, I’m going to get your update on sending your oldest child off to college. Yep. I’m so proud of you Rhett, you’re following in my footsteps, you’re being a parent who succeeds. You got a living, thriving- Thank you for showing me the way. Child out of your house by following my simple program. What? It was the program? My simple one step program. Let your child pick a college and then pay for it and take them there. Is that the program? I thought you could tell me. Yeah, I guess that’s it. Actually I do have something, but I’m not going to share- I really built that up as if I would have a joke, but I didn’t have one. Yeah, I was like, where’s this joke going? That was walking out on the plank and then just jumping into the sea. I had a couple of options in my mind, but they were all so self-deprecating that they might have seemed real. Oh, well you should do that more None of these are actual jokes, it seems like I’m a bad father. I have a non joke thing that I will share later about having talked about you sending Lily off a year ago, actually did impact an aspect, that contributed to, not the process of sending them off, but the past year, which I’ll talk about. Oh, I thought it was in the process cause I have one very specific question; if you did, this is something that I did, but I’m going to wait and see if you share it. Take a walk and ugly cry at night; is that the specific question? Nope. That’s not it. It’s different than that. Did I see a woman that was in a bush? What was it that you saw? Peeing? No. But I did have something very exciting happen to me last night that I have to share just because it’s so timely. Okay. I was bitten by a spider. Oh really? A lot of times you don’t know when that happens until later. Whoa, buddy! Like, what’s this on my arm and the a doctor’s like, “You got bit by a spider.” And apparently the ones that, well, I don’t want to spoil it. So Shepherd and I were in the pool, which this is weird, this is very strange, and the lights in the pool were off. Well, it’s your pool. The fact that we were in our pool is not the strange part. Okay. The lights were off in the pool, and all of a sudden I felt a pain in my right titty. Oh, wow! Right there on your peck? Right at the part of me that was exposed to the surface. Above your swimming tank top? Yeah, right above that. And I was like, “Oh crap!” Immediately reached down, hit something, actually grabbed something and felt something large in my hand and I was like, “Oh, crap, what is it?!” And then I threw it down and I was like, “Shepherd, turn the lights on the pool!” I was panicking. I’m glad I was not being filmed. Oh my god. And then all of a sudden we look, he turns the lights on and it’s a spider, and this spider is swimming in the pool. Which that, first of all, is unusual. Are we talking backstroke or was it flailing or did it seem like- It wasn’t supposed to be in the pool. It wasn’t like, oh, I’m here and I’m happy. You might have brought him in. But it was- Off you unkept beard. It was big enough to be, you throw a little spider into the water and it just kind of immediately dies, and I was like, this thing is surviving. It bit me and now it’s swimming? What is going on? Was it black? Well, it was very hard to tell because the lights were on in the pool and it was nighttime, so I couldn’t tell. And so Shepherd, immediately is like, “Dad, you need to go to the emergency room.” I’m like, “Shepherd, I appreciate your concern, but we live in the age of the internet and we are going to determine,” I mean, this is the beautiful thing about being alive today. Could probably take a picture of the spider and then it would tell you what type it is. Yeah, you go to Spider.net and you just take it, put it in there. Well, I think step one would’ve been to net out the spider in case you needed to keep it for reference. Well, that’s what Shepherd said we needed; take the spider and you to the emergency room. Good. Someone’s the father And I was like, And it’s not you. “Well, hold on, that might be the case.” Then it died. As we began to talk about it and direct our attention toward it, he was like, “I’m outy.” See, that’s a bad sign. He died. That means it gave you so much of itself, it gave you everything it had. I think it was just, I wasn’t supposed to be in the pool, I’m going to take a little revenge cause I know this is not going to end well and then now I’m going to die. And at that point night- This is last night? Last night. I’m shining- You’re getting a little pale. I’m shining my light as the spider floats in the pool, and we’re looking at it and trying to figure out what it is and Shepherd’s like, “Dad, that’s a brown recluse.” Or he was like, it’s a brown widow, which I think he meant to say brown recluse, which is the most poisonous spider that you can have in California. He’s like, “Dad, how do you feel?” He’s like, “We need to go to the emergency room right now.” Yeah, cause it bit you on the, I mean it didn’t bit you- Next to the heart. Over the heart, it bit over the what, liver? The lung? You think the liver’s up? The liver’s down here, brother. Oh the liver’s tall, man. It goes a Locke higher than you think. Yeah, but it’s more down here. It’s behind the lung I think on your right side a little bit. And so, I wasn’t panicking because I was like, I don’t think, a brown recluse and a black widow and all the spiders that are poisonous in California, they’re so shy, they’re not swimming, they’re not doing the breaststroke in your pool and seeking you out to bite you. This is going to be one of those spiders that it’s not even a web spider, like a hairy spider, like a wolf spider maybe, something like that, and they’re not a problem. So I’m not really panicking, but Shepherd is really trying to get me to panic. Are you looking at the bite spot? He’s like, “Is it swelling?” I’m like, “Dude, I don’t even know where,” it hurt pretty bad as it happened, but I can’t find a spot or anything, but he’s like, “Dad, it doesn’t matter if you can’t find a spot because the worst ones, you don’t even feel them and then they get big and then,” I’m like, everything’s going to be okay. You got to cut it out, you’ve got to cut out all the wounded flesh. Yeah. Now here’s the thing; it’s just me and Shepherd at home because Locke’s obviously at college, Jessie’s still there with him, she flies back today. So I think he was also thinking that I’m a 13 year old, the only adult is here and he might be about to die from a spider bite, I’ve got to start moving and shaking, putting together plans. But I’m gaining confidence that this is first of all, I know it wasn’t a black widow and I was like, it doesn’t look like a brown recluse from what I remember. Again, Shepherd was like, “Let’s get the net and take him and put him on the thing.” So we did that. And then I’m like, spiders in Southern California and then Google automatically gives you 20 entries, right? And then we start looking through them and I’m like, okay, it’s not a brown recluse, it’s not any of the things I should be scared of, I think. And meanwhile, Shepherd’s like, “Dad, are you feeling okay?” I’m like, “Yes, son, I’m feeling great!” I’m going to shoot a web right in your face. And then I get to a wolf, and I know I say that wrong, wolf, wolf. Wolf. Wolf? Wolf? Wolf. Wolf. Wolf. Wolf spider. And I’m like, that’s what it is. And that makes sense that they’re bigger, hairier and more stout spiders, thicker legs, it makes sense that they could swim around in the pool for a while. And it was like, “You have nothing to be frightened of.” So some people might be allergic to the venom of a wolf spider, but apparently I’m not. I can’t even see where it bit me. It hurt pretty bad. It was known to have a painful bite, I was like, “Yes, sir, it does.” Like a bee sting? Bee stings hurt and then immediately hurt more. This hurt and didn’t hurt again at all. Huh. There is venom, but I just don’t think he did much to me. Okay. So you you’re able to give Shepherd peace of mind so he could sleep last night. He was still looking at me as I was walking up the stairs and make sure I didn’t collapse. Do you want to put a baby monitor in there? But I was so grateful because what would I have done in 1982? You’d have just waited it out and nothing would’ve happened. Well, I think people knew more back then because they didn’t have the internet. They didn’t have this knowledge base that they could just consult. So I think there was some dad somewhere in the neighborhood, he was like- You don’t have to know things cause you can know it immediately when you need it. What would happen is you would know somebody like Mike MacHarg, right? Yeah. And you would call him on the landline, hopefully he would answer, hopefully his kids wouldn’t be on the phone talking to their boyfriends or something and you’d get a busy signal. I’m just trying to do it 82 here. He answers and I’m like, “Mike, I just got bit by spider,” and I can’t send you a picture because that’s not how it works, “I’m going to describe it to you. It’s light brown, but it has stripes like a watermelon on its big fat part.” Oh, it had a big fat part? It got me with that, I don’t know, what part does a, they bite you with their fangs, right? They don’t sting. Yeah, yeah, they’re not a, yeah, I believe so. And he would say, “Oh it’s probably a wolf spider or it could be a gray house garden spider or something.” He’d have something, and you’d be like, “You got nothing to worry about, unless you’re allergic to the venom.” You got to just have a friend; in 82, you had to have a friend that was the internet. Or the library. Now you just don’t even have to have friends. That’s the beautiful thing about 2022. There also weren’t urgent cares. You had to actually go to an ER. Yeah, it wasn’t that middle ground of I don’t want to call this an emergency. Sometimes calling it an emergency makes it an emergency. I’m just going to say I need urgent care. It took it took way too long to figure that out. So, I mean thanks for asking; I’m fine. You look a little peaky. You know what the thing is? I got bit by spider. I don’t think it’s ever happened. Oh, it’s happened. I mean, I know I’ve eaten like eight spiders a year or whatever. According to that, but I don’t think I’ve ever been bitten by spider and so- And known it. You know what? Scratch that off the list. But that’s not what we’re talking about. Poor guy sacrificed himself. Oh. Jenna says spider sting. Technically called a sting. It’s called a sting? Yeah. Because it’s not- It’s not the clamping of the teeth that hurts? Yeah, yeah. It’s the injection of the venom? Yeah, it’s considered similar to a wasp sting as well. But there’s no stinger. It’s with the mouth. It is established, so technically called a sting. Yeah. It’s a sting from the mouth. Well, I think we might need to contact the biologist about this, let’s call it a bite. I think we should. I guess a bite. If you’re using your mouth, it’s a bite, bro. I guess a bite has to be the top and bottom mendable. Oh, that’s it. If I took my top teeth and dropped them into your- A vampire doesn’t- Shoulder, it would be stinging you. Doesn’t necessarily bite. A vampire might sting. A vampire stings. Cause they’re just using the fangs. Unless they use their bottom teeth too. What about a snake? A snake’s just using the top fangs. They’re stinging too. Yeah. What’s going on here? Yeah. Come on. We need the internet. So where does this journey begin? Well, I feel like I need to make a note about, okay, so, this required flying. This is the first time I’ve been in close proximity to anyone who went to college that they couldn’t drive to college. We drove to college. I drove Lily to college. I brother drove to college. Your kid was driven to college. My nieces and nephews, they’re in the same state or one state over. And so I was like, this is interesting, we have to take everything that he needs on a plane or buy it and have it shipped there. Yeah, cause for me with Lily, it was all five of us in a car, but then we had a carrier on top and then we had everything jam packed in. It was one of those things where it’s like, all right, you need to get in your seat so that then I can put another piece of luggage. Oh, you just wait. That’s going to have to be unpacked before you can get out. I can’t imagine, there’s no way to take that amount of stuff if you’re flying. Well, we didn’t. We had stuff shipped there and we also arrived- You packed some boxes that you shipped? No, no, no, no. Jessie, which we will get into this detail, but she was most invested and she was the one that was working with Locke to make the decisions about the design of his dorm. Design? Oh yeah. She interior designed his, almost called it hotel room, which is kind of what it feels like, but it’s smaller than that. Well, how many roommates? Just one roommate. I’m getting ahead of myself because I wanted to talk about, the school is in the state of Florida. That’s why we had to fly and not drive. Your favorite state. And let me just make a couple observations about the people of Florida. Now I know that we talk quite a bit- That’s never been done before. I know that we talk quite a bit about Mythical Beasts recognizing us in the wild. I’m sorry if you’re tired of it, but I’m going to do it again because every time we go out, there’s a different aspect that I’m introduced to now that we’re kind of traveling again. And this, there’s two things about the people of Florida, specifically, and I’m maybe going to call them Mythical Beasts because that’s one of the points, is that I’ve never been so consistently recognized by people who actually don’t know who I am. They don’t say, “Big fan.” “Hey, Rhett.” It might be, “Good mythical morning,” if they can remember the name of the show, but mostly it’s like, “Oh, what is the thing? You guys, you taste the stuff.” Yeah. So it’s what I would call the casual fan. It’s the people clicking on the food videos. It’s the reason that the food videos get the views is because the casual fan is like, “Oh, those two idiots are tasting something again, I’m going to click on it. I don’t really know, I can’t really remember who they are, but they’re on YouTube.” I like other things on YouTube a lot more than you. Yeah! Very much the case. These are a couple of quotes that were said to me. One was; “Are you still friends with the guy with glasses?” That was one of the first things. Oh wow. Are you still friends with the guy with glasses? That could be a very dedicated Mythical Beast, cause if you get way too dedicated, then that’s the question you started asking. Why are they mad at each other? Well, and I responded with, and Jessie pointed out later, but this sounded a little cold, I was like, “Yeah, we’re still working together.” Still working together. And what I meant was, yeah, we’re still making our show that you know us from. And Jessie was like- That hurt, man. You made it sound like you weren’t friends. I was like, well they don’t even know who I am. They’re not going to go be able to find us to spread a rumor anyway. Well, we’re still working together. The other one was, “Where’s your buddy?” It wasn’t “Where’s Link?” which I get a lot. “Where’s your buddy?” Where’s your buddy? And I was like, “I don’t know.” I don’t know right now. Not here. Yeah. You did not enlist my services to help you move. I guess I would’ve done it, but thank you for not asking. One thing this has made me think of- Can you fly with me so that you can take an extra carry on bag for my son? That’s how I would’ve been approached with the move. Thankfully we didn’t need that. One of the things that I am thinking about though is I would like to, I need your location shared with me cause I get asked so often where you’re at and I just want to be able to pull up a phone and be like, “Well, there he is right there.” So many people ask where you’re at when they see me that I would like to know exactly your coordinates and then I will screenshot it and send it to these people. Okay. Okay. So they’ll know. Because they are very curious. You want me to share my location with you so that you can- I can share it with randoms. Willy-nilly with strangers. Yes. Okay. You know what? You good? Let’s actually pause the recording so I can do that now. I don’t want to delay a second. Here’s the second Florida thing that, I don’t know if this has ever happened to you, but, and I’m not saying this didn’t happen once, this didn’t happen twice, this didn’t happen three times, this happened four times over the course of three days. Okay. People very obviously just turning on their video camera and filming. Including- From a distance? No. A guy on an elevator. Oh that’s not at a distance. And like this. He did this, and what I’m doing is I’m taking my phone, I’m placing it against- Over your spider bite. The spider bite. The spider sting, and pointing it like this. Are you serious? That’s so obvious. He can’t look at your phone. I looked right at it. I didn’t say anything, cause I was like, if I’m wrong, I’m going to sound like such an asshole. Why did he put it up to his skin? Why didn’t he act like he was typing? I don’t know, man. That’s what the other three people did. Four people just- The people of Florida, they simultaneously have no idea who I am, but also want to track your every move and they want to film my every action. What is happening down there? They need video to figure out who you are later. He’s like, “Yeah, yeah, I’m going to put his face into Google so I can figure out who this guy is.” Anyway- You didn’t just say anything to him? No. Jessie was like, “You should have said something.” I was like, well, I looked- I see you filming. Hey dude’s phone on his chest. So if any random elevator footage shows up of me on the internet, just looking at the camera awkwardly, you know it was from Florida. That is a weird feeling, man. I’ve never had a point blank. Four times. I’ve just not spent enough time in Florida. You’re sending your freaking child there. Well, it’s too late now. We’ve already paid the first semester tuition. We can’t get him out now. Was there a factor it was for Lily, which turned out to be a total none factor, of him concerned about his association with you? You being recognized? No. Interestingly, when Locke first went to public school from going from homeschool to school, which he did in the eighth grade, Lily did it in ninth grade. They both did this kind of late transition. Locke was super sensitive about people knowing that he was my son and he was very much about establishing himself to a weird degree. And he actually told me, he was like, “Dad,” okay, so, another thing about the people of Florida, and this is typical of any place outside of Los Angeles, is if you do get recognized, the enthusiasm, I had a couple people- Very high. We were in a Dick’s Sporting Goods getting some stuff, for Locke and it was a group of teen boys, very loudly congregated, and it was, again, I don’t really mind, but I don’t like it when I’m with my family. This is Locke’s time, we’re moving him into college. And then Jessie was like, “You have to wear a hat when you’re moving him in tomorrow and sunglasses.” Which is what you did. And then Locke was like, “Dad, listen, I totally don’t mind. I really don’t mind. I’m not going to be weird about it. Listen, if somebody’s a fan, that’s a benefit for me.” If we meet somebody who’s a fan, I want to know if somebody’s a fan because either I’m going to be like, are you friends with me cause you’re a fan? Or if somebody who works at the university is a fan. He’s like, “Okay, listen, I’m not going to do the thing I did in eighth grade, I’m actually embracing it so you don’t have to wear a hat, whatever.” So I was like, “Okay.” I’m going to talk about the moving in process a little bit, and then I’ll come back and talk about the emotional aspect of this and the process. All right, let’s start with the logistics. So interesting that you mention packing the car because what we had to do, we had rented a car obviously and we had rented the biggest SUV that they had, but when we got to the rental car place, they did not have that and they said, “We will give you a minivan and free gas.” And that was pretty much the only option I was presented with, so I was like, “Okay.” And I was just reminded, you drove a minivan for many years. It’s probably more capacity than an SUV. And I’m just telling you, man, what an invention. What an invention. And it pains me that- It’s like a tall topped station wagon. I’ve got too much pride to drive one on a regular basis. And at this point I don’t need one, I’ve only got one kid at home now, I don’t need one. There was a moment in my life when I could have used one, but I just couldn’t do it. And Jessie, even more so than me, she would not do the minivan, she would not embrace the minivan mom life. She just was like, “I’m not going to do it. I’m not going to let that grip get hold of me.” But we should have. It was a fabulous era of time that has passed. Ironically, I think that Locke and Lily, they’re both candidates for a minivan. I think that it could draw some trouble, but you remember Greg had a minivan in college. Having a minivan in college is cool. That was an ironic, totally functional party choice. Low to the ground, drives like a car, capacity of a truck. You can walk right into it. It’s like a walk-in shower. You got USB-C, you got USB whatever the other one is, you can plug anything in. Just very impressed with minivans. Yeah. You can be an adult sitting in the middle seat back there and you it’s like you’re at a Star Trek console. You’re sitting up right. Feel very, very- You’re ready for anything. Advanced. And very aerodynamic. Now, we got a bunch of stuff, and by the time we had packed the car to its fullness, it was Tetris. In fact, Jessie took a picture, we’re going to show it right now, cause she took a picture when I had created the first base layer of the Tetris in the back of the van. She’s like, “Send that to Link.” I would loved it. Most of the times in my life when I’m packing things that you got to get a bunch of stuff, I’m with you and you are so committed to it that I just hand you things and you just do it. But this was a moment where I was like there be no could be no wasted space here, so I’m saying things like, “Turn that 90 degrees.” I’m actually just standing there and Locke is doing the stuff and I’m saying- Oh wow, that’s the life. And he’s like, “Dad, this is crazy.” And I was like, “Hey, I guess I could have done this all along.” I mean, every once in a while I got to do Tetris. No, Rhett. Again, you learned from the best. I’ve never watched you. You’ve watched me. No, no. I just hand you the packages and move away. You felt it. I’ve never ever actually watched you closely. Yes you have, man. That’s how you know. But we packed the whole, obviously you’ve got the first row and the second row and then third row is folded down and then everything, ceiling to floor, all the way back based on stuff we had brought, plus stuff we had bought, was all the way full. To the point where when you closed it, you were catching stuff to make sure it doesn’t fall off. Yeah. Good work. Now the process of moving in to college where Locke’s going, and I don’t know if this was the case where Lily went, but it also was the fact that his dorm room that he is in, he’s on the 12th floor. Good gosh. Of a very large building. Okay. And what they do is, you check in and then you get these little tags and then you get into a line and you have a specified window of time. So it was like- So everybody’s not moving at once. You have to be there at 5:00 PM was our window. And you drive under this set of awnings that they’ve set up, because it’s Florida and it might rain, and you park and you open your thing and then all these people. Oh wow. Not you. A bunch of people in certain shirts, take all your stuff and put it in these giant bins and then you just drive and park, and then they take it, they go in, they use the elevators exclusively, so no parents or kids are using the elevators, get your stuff in your room so when you get to your room it’s either they’re in there or they’re bringing all the bins in there, so you don’t have to lift anything heavy. What? Did you have to walk up 12 flights of stairs. And they make everybody walk, so we had to walk up 12 flights of stairs. Oh, seriously? Yeah, but we didn’t have anything. We had given it to everyone. That’s the system. Well, how many flights are there? How much higher could you go? There’s just another couple of floors. 14 or 15 or something like that. Oh man. Didn’t get the penthouse. That’s a long ways. I guess that’s a decent trade for not having to shuttle anything up. Yeah. Or course I’m totally dading out about this, cause I’m like, how long have they had this system in place? Did they start? How many years have they done this system? It’s quite inefficient system. I’m very impressed. But this was the moment, as we were pulling up in the line, when I began to really feel the difference that Jessie and I bring to this particular event. Now I don’t know if you remember what it was like for us to move into college, but as I was trying to remember and tell Locke and Jessie and Shepherd; I was like, “I don’t think my parents went up to NC State with us. No, no, no. I’m almost positive they didn’t. It was my papa took his truck, we put everything in the back of his truck. I knew you would remember this. Yeah, so he drove so he could drive his truck back home. And so he’s the one who helped move us in. And he didn’t- And there were no stairs. And he didn’t have any opinions about. No. The whole point of us going into our dorm room was to get us and our stuff into the room and then it’s up to you guys to make it look the way you want to, organize your stuff, hang stuff up. Of course generational differences, first of all, but also just family dynamics. My parents were super loving and supportive, but they weren’t involved in those kinds of details. But back in the day, when Jessie was going off to college, her mom was totally involved in making her dorm room look like a section of Wet Seal. You remember that store? Oh god. You know what I mean? Clothes hanging everywhere? No. Like faux leather pants and big fluffy shirts? I just mean intention, well, that was what Jessie was wearing at the time. But yeah, they put up purple wallpaper on one whole wall inside the dorm room. Yeah, that’s not allowed. They got away with it because their room had not been painted along with other rooms or something. Point being- Did Locke just know I’m going to let her do her thing? Well, in fact, I was just looking at Jessie’s Instagram post about him kind of going to the college, and she was saying that he’s been super sweet. And actually he was like, “Yeah, I want my mom, my mom is good at this. If she’s going to do the work and she’s going to be invested in this.” But also Jessie gave Locke the quiz that she gives to prospective design clients to find out what your style is cause this is his style. I didn’t even know that this was happening until I look at my wife’s Instagram. But it helps explain why we had so much in that van. Yeah. And I’m sitting there- Wonder what his roommate thought of all this? They thought it was great. His roommate thought it was great. And also- That’s what he told you. No, and also, first of all, this isn’t something exclusive to Jessie. You could kind of see parents are just way more involved in kids lives than they were when we were coming up about stuff like this and their mom and dad are in there, they’re putting stuff on the wall. So this is not just something that’s happening, but it’s on one end of the spectrum when it comes to Jessie, and I’m on the other end of the spectrum, cause I’m like, you’re thinking about the colors of things? Just put him in the room and hug him and say bye. Right. Yeah. But the way that this translates into your minivan is it’s full of stuff, and so as we’re pulling up to this thing, I’m thinking, I’m looking at the other families. There’s a family in a hatchback and the family gets out of the hatchback and then just opens the hatchback and that’s all the stuff this girl has. And then I’m like, oh, there’s a family with- She has to build a new life on our own. There’s a family with a pickup truck and the bed of the truck, it’s an extend cab, so the better of the truck’s not too long and the stuff’s not popping up over the end of the thing. But we have Tetrised an entire minivan. And when we open the door, things are going to fall out. I’m beginning to feel shame. Yeah. And then I’m thinking, well, how many boxes are they going to give us? How many of these big ass crates are we going to fill up? And who’s going to be watching? I know this is all irrational. And you wish you had a disguise again. Oh yeah. And I’d already been recognized by a few, as we keep sneaking through this thing, we’ve got our windows rolled down and there’s families. “Rhett! Good mythical morning!” and stuff like that. “Where’s your buddy?” So we get to there and we open it up and it was almost like the guys with the big bins had been prepped to not let you feel shame. Okay. Because we opened the thing and then Jessie was like, “My husband feels shame.” She said it, “My husband feels shame about how much stuff we had.” And he was like, “Oh no, we’ve seen more than this.” And then he was like, “How many carts? What’s the most number of carts that we filled up today?” as they were filling up the fourth cart, he said, “I think it’s five or six.” And then another guy was being honest, said four. So I was like, okay, so we’re tied for the record. Four of these big ass bins. But just kind of going through that relieved a little tension. Getting up to the room and then beginning the process; she wanted to do a headboard. A headboard that you stick to the wall. I love the fact that none of this is about Locke at all. We’ll get to that. A sticky headboard. A what? Isn’t it a bunk bed? No, it’s not. Beds are on the ground on each side of the thing. And there’s no option for making them in the bunk beds in this particular room. It’d be helpful if there were because it would be bigger. Cause it’s small. Smaller than our dorm room. What? But I did tell Locke, “Hey, this is the same size the one I was in my freshman year.” But the headboard, I’m going to point out the headboard because it’s kind of indicative of the difference in approach. First of all, Locke, he’s empowered Jessie. Didn’t it to have a headboard? No. It’s just a bed- With a mattress. It’s a frame basically. There is no headboard. But then there’s a wall that it’s up against that, and this is a common thing, you can put the headboard up on the wall, you can mount it on the wall above a bed. I understand. And this is made for a twin bed, which is what you get in a dorm room. But there’s a weird thing with the way that there’s a board and then it’s got these sticky things on it, cause you can’t put any holes in the wall, so you have to do it with these sticky things, but they weren’t lined up right. I spent a lot of time on this headboard, and then eventually had to abandon the headboard because it just wouldn’t work. And when I get into my emotional processing, I’ll come back to the headboard. But I think that, first of all, I witnessed so many families impatiently being short with each other or outright yelling at each other as we would go around to the different stores. Tensions are high. We went to the Target and everyone’s buying stuff. And we didn’t even go to the closest Target, we went to the second closest Target, and still, they had all descended upon it. Oh yeah. People just mad at each other. Just family’s falling apart at this integral time. And I was like, we’re just another one of these families that’s mad at each other. We weren’t really being mean to each other, but I was definitely frustrated cause I was like, I’m trying to deal with this emotionally and trying to figure out what is it that I’m feeling, which is always a difficult thing for me. And we’re trying to make his room feel this way and it doesn’t feel like a priority to me. And this dad is yelling at his son because the son just said something mean to the mom. And I just kept witnessing these situations. But it also made me feel good cause I was like- Makes it easier to part ways. We’re just another family. We’re just another family that’s dealing with this momentous thing. Yeah. At least you’re not in Florida. Oh, sorry. So to talk a little bit about the processing of this. From Locke’s perspective, he’s been simultaneously super excited about school, but also increasingly anxious about like, oh, I’m not going to be at home anymore, and I’m also not going to be in the same city or the same state. Or the same time zone or coast. That’s beginning to sink in with him. So a lot of his conversation was around just, and of course Locke says exactly what he’s thinking, exactly what he’s feeling, which is a huge difference between me at his age and him. So we are constantly discussing and talking about things. There’s some anxiety around just the transition for him. I mean he handled it really, really well and he’s doing great and I’ve talked to him a couple times since I’ve gotten back and he’s really adjusting, meeting people and beginning to embrace the I am on my own, but also not really. They’re not really on their own. They can FaceTime with us at any moment. And obviously if there’s something that they need, it can be arranged. It’s not as on their own as they will feel in four years. One of the things I’ve been thinking about, first of all, there’s a lot of stuff going on right now in life. There’s just a number of things, I’m not going to go into detail and nothing in particular is standing out, but this is a really busy time of year, there’s things that are stressful and anxiety inducing, and then there’s this thing that’s happening where your son is going off the college and much like you kind of communicated last time, you’re trying to make it into something. Dads tend to do this too, make it meaningful, and you want to say the right thing at the right time, but you also want to feel; and this isn’t something that I would’ve done 10, 15 years ago, but I want to make sure that I’m feeling this in the way that I should feel it and processing it in the way that I should process it, which is more of a result of therapy and also understanding that you can have feelings and you can process those feelings. Which I’ve gotten much better at. But I’ve also been anticipating the really intense, emotional reaction, the walking through the neighborhood crying situation that happened with you. Yeah. And what I realized, well, first of all, that hasn’t happened yet. But what has happened is a series of 10, over the past couple of months, 10 moments of emotion that will be some degree of crying. It might just be like welling up a little bit. It might be weeping a little bit. Okay. The way I describe it is when you’ve shaken up a soda, the bottle, and you’re like, if I open this all at once it’s going to go crazy, but if I just go. Open it a little bit at a time, by the time I fully open it, it’ll be just like, oh, it’s just a soda. And I think that that might be what’s happening. Because I’ve had a couple of moments of really emotional processing. The first was putting together his slideshow for his graduation thing that you came to. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And looking at all these photos and organizing them and picking his favorite songs and putting in. There was an intense moment I was sitting in bed editing and I was crying. So that was the beginning of processing it. The second thing is I wrote him and Shepherd a song. Right. It was part of the process of thinking about your parenting changing as you deconstruct, but I was really thinking about Locke, especially leaving. Here he goes. He’s going off. It’s like, you’ve done what you can do. He’s going to be dealing with that for the rest of his life. Whatever you did. And then playing him the song. That was the last song that I played. I played it for him and Shepherd. You played the track, you didn’t play a guitar. Oh, I could have never played it for him, I would be a mess, I wouldn’t be able to make it through it. So yes, I played the track. Locke was driving his car, me and him and Shepherd went out to eat or whatever and then we played the song and it was crying. Tears were welling up in Locke as well. I didn’t really look back at Shepherd. It was emotional for all three of us. Sure, yeah. But there was this emotional moment and then we spent some time talking after that. And then there’s been, tying it back into to your story about Lily last year, I think I actually remember saying my application is I want to make this year count with Locke. Cause Locke, he’s super independent. He’s always gone. He’s always hanging out with his friends. This summer he’s traveled with his friends. He’s been gone. So it’s not every night you walk in, there’s Locke. It’s like, no, Locke’s probably not going to be there. So he’s sort of already kind of established his independence in his not being at home. But I was like, I want to make the most of the time we have. And so that was my kind of goal. And then we had those two road trips. We had the road trip over Christmas, we had the road trip over spring break, which those were awesome. And that was actually, as we finished in Florida, that was one of the reasons he chose the school that he chose. And then we’ve just had more just hanging out as friends time where it’s not this is a dad and this is a son, and the dad is saying things to the son to try to correct him or guide him and the son is challenging. That’s been a lot of our relationship cause he’s a challenger. But this past year has been more of a friendship. And there’s been a couple of times where we just hung out and just talked. And I have to hold myself back a little bit from going into dad mode and advice mode or here’s a principle that you should take with you and just be like, let’s just connect. And so there’s been more of that. More than ever this past year. And then, when we were in Florida, we moved him in basically, and then we hung out; or no, this was the night before we moved him in. And me and him just went out and just walked around town for a while and just spent a bunch of time talking about everything, including how he was feeling and everything. And then in addition to that, there’s just been multiple times where I’ll see something, I’ll look at his room or whatever and there’ll be just a moment of emotion where tears will start and I’ll kind of let it happen. But again, it doesn’t turn into an avalanche or a waterfall. Yeah, it’s just these moments of I’m living this milestone moment. Yeah. It’s not just about acknowledging emotions, but acknowledging the experience. Emotions are a part of it. It’s about fully processing things, and they’re a component of it. But it’s not like, when am I going to break down? Well, but I just anticipated that happening. Cause I acknowledge that’s what I made it out to be a lot. I forced it. And then now I have a mitigated perspective on it. Cause you keep seeing Lily. Yeah. She keeps coming home. She keeps coming home. I keep seeing her. Now that’s going to be less the case for a Locke cause he is going to be further away. But I think we’ll be more connected via phone than we ever are when he’s in town. Cause it’s the only way to do it. Yeah. Yeah, but in that moment, in those couple of days, yeah, it’s just having those times when it’s an acknowledgement of you’re living this trope, you’re living this milestone moment that you’ll never have it again. Even if he goes somewhere else and when Shepherd goes somewhere and same with my kids. The first kid going off to college and everything associated with it is special. But the logistics of it do get in the way sometimes. Oh, I’ve got a brave Target. We’re upset with each other. Well, I have a very specific thing that happened at the moment of truth. My adult life, especially the past 10 years in California and the past, what, five years in therapy, you know the McLaughlins, we don’t make a big deal out of anything. When people make a big deal about something we’re like does this person got a weakness? What is it about this person that they’re making a big deal about this because we don’t make a big deal about anything. Does this person have a weakness? Yes. I was asking Shepherd. We all do. Shepherd last night, I was like, cause me and she are just hanging out together as we wait for Jessie to get back. She still trying to get that headboard up? Yeah, probably. I hope at least she takes a picture of it. I’m asking him how he’s processing it and he was like, “Do you remember when Cole went off to college?” And I was like, “No.” But I would not be surprised if we did not hug. Just to be completely honest with you. Now I would say that for a couple reasons; number one, he was just going to Chapel Hill, and so he was going to be 45 minutes away. And so it was like, oh, you’re just going to be up the road. My family didn’t make moments of things. Jessie’s family makes moments of things. I remember the first birthday celebration I went to for somebody, I can’t remember, and I was like, whoa, you guys- Somebody was having a moment. I’m like, you guys make a moment of everything. My family, we’re just kind of, we’re not Jehovah’s witnesses, we don’t not believe in birthdays. Or blood transfusions. You’re going to get your fried chicken and your cake and again, I don’t want to miscommunicate, it’s not that there wasn’t a love there, it wasn’t sentimental outwardly. I’m not saying I know we didn’t hug, but I’m just saying I wouldn’t be surprised. I know that there wasn’t some moment where it was like let’s hug and let’s say things to each other in the way that Locke and Shepherd. In fact, I started filming them in the room as they hugged each other and stuff and then Locke said something offensive to Shepherd in order to- Break the tension. Because he was like, “Dad, it was stupid that you were filming us, I was just trying to”- Make it unusable. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He just said something mean to Shepherd, but it was obviously in jest. My adult life has been figuring out that isn’t who I am. That’s the way that we did things, but A, not the person I married. I married somebody on the opposite end of the spectrum in terms of making things into a moment and expressing themselves. It isn’t that I don’t have feelings, I actually have a whole lot, but they come out sideways because they don’t process in a healthy way all the time. They do more and more. But anyway, that was an interesting thing to hear Shepherd talk about and ask me that question. I was like, “Man, I don’t know. We just didn’t do things in this way.” But I’m a different person now. And so I am thinking about this moment, and the way that it worked was- Meaning the goodbye? The goodbye. The send off. We’re in his room and this is day two. Day one was moving all the stuff up and beginning to put it in, but because we moved in at 5:00 PM and then he had an event he had to go to that night, Jessie and I kind of stayed in his room til 9:00, 9:30 and then we left and then we were like, we’re going to come back tomorrow, there’s a few things that we need to get and then I’ll just leave from here to go to the airport. And so we’re in his room, and it took us a while to get a couple of things, so we had one hour in his room and I had to get the damn headboard up! Still dealing with the damn headboard! This is headboard take two. Have a new idea for what I’m going to do and it may involve violating school policy and putting a nail in the wall. It didn’t cause it didn’t work. But at some point I’m looking in the clock and I’m like, okay, I have 12 minutes cause I’ve timed this of course, to be able to get to the airport on time, I have 12 minutes left in the room based on the time it will take to get back to the car. Still have not figured the headboard out. So I was like, I can’t do this headboard. I think it’s a bad idea. I’m going to take it down and y’all can figure it out tomorrow because Jessie was going to be back. The headboard had been a point of contention, or it was representative of multiple points of contention about the way that Jessie and I were relating in this situation. And also there’s a lot of emotion and I’m trying to deal with this. What am I thinking? What am I feeling about Locke leaving? And I set the headboard down and then I’m like, okay, I got to go. I mean, I got to go, meaning I got to go and I want us to be able to say goodbye. Yeah. And so at that moment Locke’s like, “Oh man. This is it.” This is it. So he does this thing with Shepherd and then me and him hug and I say, I don’t know what I said, we said some things and I’m tearing up. Jessie, in that moment, Jessie is like, “Okay, I’m going to get this trash,” or she says something logistical in that moment. Cause she’s staying. Because she’s staying. And I was like, “What are you doing?” I was like, “I’m leaving!” I’m like, me and Shepherd are not coming back. Didn’t you hear Locke say, “This is it?” And so, I’m not trying to throw Jessie under the bus, or the headboard or anything. But she was coming back and it had not quite, and she’s processing this on her own, it had not hit her. Cause she’s trying to get all this stuff done in his room and that hit her in the moment. Oh yeah, this is their moment, this is the last moment that they have together. Not ever. But as she’s leaving. And so we are kind of at each other, but that immediately impacted the nature of the process. And then of course she was like, “I’m sorry. I’m coming back. I’m just thinking about the fact that we’re going downstairs and we’ve got all this stuff we need to take.” I was like, “Trust me, I’m the one that would usually do exactly what you did. I’m just surprised that you did it.” But Locke and I, he went out into the hall with us and I hugged him three or four times. There was not one moment. It was just like, I guess I’ll just hug you again. It sort of perfectly encapsulated just how you can’t script this thing out in a way that make it perfect and make it exactly the memorable thing where you’re going to say exactly the right thing at the right time. He’s going to remember this forever. And he is probably going to remember that in this moment I snapped at Jessie because she was trying to take some trash down the stairs. But in a sense it’s like- No, he won’t remember anything. That’s my parents. Maybe. I don’t think he’ll remember that. And then of course I ended up talking to him three or four more times before- Did you turn around and take a picture of him walking back in? That was the thing I was going to ask about. No. I took a picture of all four of us right before he walked out. Okay. Took a selfie of all four of us. That’s good. That counts. And Locke has a look on his face. Well, I’ll show that picture. But Locke has a look on his face like this is it. That’s the look on his face. He was feeling it for sure. We ended up talking three or four times before I even got on the plane because I’m trying to logistically figure things out. But the thing I was thinking about, have been thinking about, is just the aspect of, oh man, I’ve done all I can do. I’ve kind of been at this place for a while. I’ve just kind of observed the way children are and known that it’s much more about what you do than what you say. They’re taking a lot more cues from the way you act and the things you do than the things you tell them. They’re usually just kind of zoning out when you tell them things. But that doesn’t stop you from wanting to say exactly the right thing. If there are three pieces of wisdom that he could take with him into this freshman year, what would they be? I want to make sure that I say those things. It doesn’t stop you from doing that. But I think there’s just this sense of all right, yes, I still am the one that’s going to be putting money into his prepaid credit card thing or whatever. There’s still a connection. There’s still a big connection. I’m still the one paying for this thing. And he is a phone call away- And he’s communicative. That’s the other thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. I think that he’ll talk to people on the phone. He’s not averse to FaceTime and stuff like that. Didn’t you tell me he’ll talk to people? Locke calls my dad, his father-in-law. His father-in-law? I mean my father-in-law, Jessie’s dad, my brother, Jessie’s brother-in-law. He’s good with a phone. He’s just like, I’m going to call an older person and just talk to them. And he’s done that for years. So yeah, he instigates a lot of things. That bodes well. I’m not worried about it. He makes friends really easily. You’re not going to bother him by calling him. No. That’ll make a huge difference than texting. There’s still very much a connection. Having already built those type of habits. From my experience, that goes a long way. If I get a text from Lily about nothing, it’s just like, oh, that feels great. It’s not just me initiating everything. One specific thing that felt; you kind of feel the powerlessness, and I think this is due mostly just to the fact that your kid’s going to be out of your supervision and off in college, but also, the person that Locke is, his room was always a mess back at home. You have to tell him to clean stuff. He’s like me. And Jessie’s the same way. Our house is remarkably organized for what the nature of our personalities is. Cause that’s not the tendency. Things like, “Locke I’m telling you this thing about where I’m putting this,” and kind of looking in your eyes and seeing that this is not sinking in. You’re going to have a room that you’re sharing with this other guy, and you got to keep it clean and I’m giving you your passport. You are going to be responsible for your passport. You know what I’m saying? The sense of trepidation that I hand this document off to him and where is this going to end up? No one will know. Including him, definitely. I know Lily’s different. Lily’s more buttoned up than Locke when it comes to those things, so you probably didn’t have this is she going to be able to manage the space that she’s living in? No, she’s probably going to manage it for other people too. But Locke- All five of them as a matter of fact in her room. Locke is different than this. But then there’s this sense of I didn’t know I about any of this stuff. I was not organized at all. You figure it out. You probably make mistakes. Well, you had me, Rhett. You had me, man. And I also lost my passport at one point. I don’t recall caring too much. I was excited to decorate the room with the occasional poster. We didn’t have enough stuff to make a mess. You know what I’m saying? I didn’t have enough things to really make a mess in. I was definitely one that initiated, all right, we’re spending the next three hours cleaning this place. Yeah. And also, I don’t remember ever changing my sheets. Yeah, that’s a scary thought. Did you change your sheets? Well, you just feel like it’s not needed. Yeah. I wasn’t a clean freaking that way. But Jessie was like, “Okay, I’m giving you two sets of sheets. One that will be on the bed”- I brought my laundry home. I must have brought my sheets home. “The other one while you’re washing your sheets, which you should do at least once a month,” is what she said. Yeah. Preferably every two weeks. And then I’m thinking, he’s not going to do that at all. He’s not going to do that. He’s not going to wash his sheets. And it’ll be fine. It’ll be fine. Some sort of colony will grow in there. He’ll probably get some sort of good probiotics that go straight through his feet skin. I don’t know how it works. But there is that sense of helplessness of ah, he’s just- Can’t do it for him. He’s just going to figure it out. I can’t hold this for him anymore. And you know what? He’ll be just fine. Well, I hope so. I think he will. The communication part is so huge. He’s not dropping off the edge of a planet and trying to escape you. He was confident enough to go clear across the country. You know what, to his own credit and to you and Jessie’s credit too. He was ready to make that leap. You know he’s ready. That’s the big thing for me is just knowing that he’s going to tell you what’s happening. He’s very upfront and he’s also communicative. That’s so much more important than everything else. I’m speaking from experience here. Everything that I made a huge deal about, I’m glad I did, but people told me, I’d gotten the advice, I spent the whole next day after my first daughter left for college crying. And then that was kind of it, I was kind of over it. I was like, well, okay, that’s helpful to hear. It was kind of true even though I pushed it so hard. I want to fully experience this. I think about with Lincoln, he just yesterday just started his senior year of high school, so we’ll be having this conversation. But the conversation that we have about Lincoln will be totally different than the conversation that I had about Lily. And also, different than the conversation you had about Locke. That middle child syndrome. Again, I feel for him. You wouldn’t even know If he’s in college. I might not even be there. Is he here? I’ll definitely be there. Yeah, it’s just a different thing. But you’ve gone through it. You’ve checked this box. And that, for you, just talk about you for a second, it’s a privilege that you got to experience it under these circumstances. That you have this intact and rewarding relationship with Locke that it set the groundwork for this experience for you as a dad. That you’ll never have again, you won’t have it with Shepherd. That is the most important thing. We talked about this before. That the goal, especially as you get into the teenage years, and kids tend to get cynical, they get harder to communicate with, they get more private and they may even get mean. I think that happens with a lot of teen kids, they just kind of get mean to their parents. Let me just say, we’ve been through those phases. It’s not like it’s been all smooth sailing. He is a teenager, he’s been through these phases of a teenager. Oh, he’s really connecting with this parent and not liking this parent and going back and forth. You cleared a number of hurdles at such a point that by the time you’re sending him off to college, it’s not part of it. Well, ultimately what I’m saying though is at some point along the way, we received very good advice that we have been preaching to one another, me and Jessie, of maintain the relationship. Above all else. The first priority needs to be maintaining the relationship. Not getting him to think a certain way. Not getting him to do a certain thing. I’ve tried those things. Obviously there’s principles and boundaries within which you’re accomplishing that that’s not coddling, spoiling and just giving in to everything. Oh, of course. There’s a difference between disagreeing and destroying a relationship. Sometimes it gets precarious and I know you’re not saying that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’m just saying that- You don’t worship him. No, of course not. There are these moments in which I can choose to say something or do something or implement something that will be long term damaging to the relationship. And this is not some easy thing to navigate, cause you’re right, this doesn’t mean you don’t have standards, you don’t have expectations, you don’t have house rules or whatever and you don’t give advice. We do all that stuff. But not at the expense of the relationship. And I’m not 100% sure that we would’ve gotten there. This was something that our therapist started telling us and I’m sure we would’ve gotten it or realized it in a different way, but when we began to have some difficulties as Locke kind of got into his teenage years, and that was the thing that was the mantra, it was like, maintain the relationship. I’m so thankful that that became the mantra because this past year has been the best stage in our relationship. Which is exactly what you want right before you send him off. Not counting the headboard thing, but yeah. Yeah. And one of the things that he has said that he said more and more over the past year, and it has increased in frequency is he would say things like “I’m going to miss you guys.” The things that you want to hear as a parent. He’s like, “You know, we haven’t always agreed on everything, and I haven’t always agreed with the things that you’ve done, but I know the motivation has always been love.” Okay. Yeah. Take and store that one. I’m like, that is what you want to hear as a parent. I think I’ve always thought maybe when he’s in his 30s and he’s got kids, he’ll come back and he’ll say, “The motivation was always love.” But to hear it now was like, wow. Yeah. Don’t screw this up, Locke. Remember who you are. You don’t want your dad to have to come on this podcast and say something about you. You want me to do it for you? Say what? All the things that I’m saying right now. It’s like, don’t forget what you’re in college for. It’s to study. It is to become knowledgeable about stuff. You better make good grades. How else am I supposed to know? I’ve got to look at your grades. I have to know. Stuff like that? Well, he does have an incentive. Be a good boy. For making good grades. He actually asked that. He was like, if I make straight A’s, will you, and then he proposed a prize. A prize? Oh. And I said- Tell him it’s a solidified future. I was like, “I’m not above this. Yes, I will incentivize you to make straight A’s.” Straight A’s? I was like, you should have said straight A’s and one B maybe. I think that’s a little unrealistic. Okay. So yeah. Locke’s off. He’s off. He’s off. He’s gone. I have one got one. Course his mama’s still there with him. She needs to get back. She’s probably on a plane right now. Okay. Or about to be. All right. Wonder how that went? What do you mean? Jessie getting on a plane? Yeah. I’m sure she’s fine. No. Them saying goodbye. You should have called them at the moment that she was telling him goodbye- Make sure you get that trash. Talk about the trash. Oh, it’s my turn to have a rec. I’m trying to come up with a rec that’s related to just a very practical recommendation from fatherhood. You haven’t thought about this until now? Well, I always like to keep it themed. Keep it themed, man. But I’m not going to do that. You know I love hiphop documentaries. Only if you’re really into the history of hiphop can I advise you to take my recommendation. But if you are, I think you’ll love “Dilla Time.” J Dilla. If you start to get into the world of hiphop history, then it’s really cool to know about J Dilla. I’m just going to be honest. Okay. Here’s a whole book about his life. He’s a producer that he was mentored by Q-Tip and he started producing tracks for them in their later albums that aren’t quite as notable. I don’t want to go into all the details, but J Dilla passed away and he was this super producer of hiphop that was, in Dan Charnas, the author’s perspective and argument, he presents that he created this whole new type of time. Like musical time, which he calls Dilla Time. Like a beat signature? A beat signature that is a combination of straight and swung time by moving tracks independently from each other to create a groove. So on one hand, it’s like a lot of music theory, and then on the other hand, it’s a biography of his life and it kind goes back and forth. And there’s a lot of hiphop history that’s kind of intermingled in both of those two tracks that he takes. So if you’re like me, you’re really into that. You’ll love “Dilla Time.” Even though I have not been a fan of his music, I was unknowingly a fan of many of his tracks from back in the day. It’s a good education if you’re into it. Proceed with caution. Don’t blame me if it’s not for you. This feels like a mild rec. Mild rec. It’s a strong rec if that’s what you’re into. “Dilla Time.” Listen to it on Audible. Okay. M’kay? M’kay. Talk at you next week. Hey Rhett and Link, this is Audrey from Illinois, I listen to your guys’ podcast every single day at the garden that I work at and when I was a teenager, I did just sit in my bed and watch your biscuits for an hour straight. Just watch you guys. And the longest I’ve stayed up is 38 hours. So love you guys. Bye. What’s up, Rhett and Link, my name’s Will and I’m an environmental engineering student from Ontario. I just listened to you talk about composting and I wanted to pass on some interesting facts. So first of all, there are automated systems for removing plastics and other foreign objects from compost. So no one needs to dig in with their hands. Number two, organic waste accounts are about 40% of landfill waste. So there are major land use savings from composting. Also, digesters and bio reactors capture methane and burn it for electricity or convert it to renewable natural gas. The nutrient rich compost produced can also be sold and the reactor conditions are super optimized, so even bones are composted within 60 days. Thanks for talking about this. Love you guys. Hey, Rhett and Link, I just listened to the most recent podcast episode about sleeping and also the compost bucket, and I just wanted to let you know that I was born in the year 2000 and I still throw my banana peels out the window on the side of the highway. Whether that’s good or bad, that’s what happens. To watch more “Ear Biscuits” click on the playlist on the right. To watch the previous episode of “Ear Biscuits,” click on the playlist to the left. And don’t forget to click on the circular icon to subscribe. If you prefer to listen to this podcast, it’s available on all your favorite podcast platforms. Thanks for being your mythical best.