Welcome to “Ear Biscuits,” a podcast where two lifelong friends talk about life for a long time. I’m Link. And I’m Rhett. This week at “The Round Table of Dim Lighting,” we are kicking off- “Sex Timber.” Timber. Oh, that’s good. Have you done that before? “Sex Timber. Men, we’re having an incredible conversation with a qualified professional who knows all about sex more than just a couple of boys have been having sex with the same ladies for a long, for a long time. And before you give Emily’s bio, just wanna say, hey, this podcast and this iteration of sex timber, 2022, may not be for you. So use your own discretion if you want to keep listening the disclaimer is- Well, you gotta wanna say why, why. The reason why, is because we talk about… We talk very specifically and explicitly- Explicitly. About sex. Okay? So we’re not holding anything back, we’re not beating around the bush. Well, you’re all ready done. Men, we’re all there. So proceed informed, make an informed decision if you wanna be a part of this, but I gotta tell you, if you’re up for it, this could be… This could be really encouraging. It could be really enlightening. It could be really educational. I think it’s a great conversation. It could be really exciting. And we’re breaking down the stigmas. We can talk about sex. Yeah. And we don’t have to- Not just in September, but that is kind of what we do. We don’t have to apologize for it. Right. So give the bio and then let’s get into it with Emily. Emily Morse is a doctor of human sexuality and a sex therapist. She’s recognized as one of today’s most insightful sex educators, challenging cultural taboos, misinformation, and awkward sex talks. Love it. To create a future where people can deeply connect and shamelessly embrace pleasure. Love it. She’s the host of “Sex With Emily,” a podcast that’s been going for a long time. 2005 is what she told us. And it might be the preeminent sex podcast. I’m gonna say that it is the preeminent sex podcast. She’s inspired millions of people to normalize sex and pleasure by creating a safe space where people can explore. And that’s exactly what we did with her in this episode, we explored many topics. Yeah. Right off the bat . Here it is. “Good Mythical Evening” has been rescheduled. You can still watch it, you can rent it on Video on demand, that will be available from September 12th, through September 18th. You can rent it up to 9:00 PM, Pacific, that’s midnight Eastern, and then watch that rental. So get in on the action. Goodmythicalevening.com. It’s really happening this time. Yeah. Emily, thanks for being here. Thanks for having me. Now we talk about sex one month outta the year, you talk about sex all the time. Yeah. Well, speak for yourself, man. You talk about… Okay, I mean off the show, we’ll talk about sex. And publicly, every once in a while I- You just go out in public and talk about sex? On the street corners, yeah. Yeah. Okay. So okay, yeah. Good for you, man. Well, okay. I’m not gonna assume that you know anything about our background, but I’m just gonna- Okay. So one of the reasons that we waited to talk about sex publicly is our very… We come from a very conservative, evangelical Christian background that we have since exited that world. Okay. And of course, so there was a lot of like, “Hey, if we’re gonna talk about sex, you gotta talk about it in the right context, et cetera.” And so it took us a while to get to a place where it’s like, “Hey, let’s just rip the bandaid off and just tell people that this is actually how we think.” And it’s been incredibly freeing- Yeah. To be able to discuss this stuff. But we haven’t ever really discussed it with a professional before. Okay, I think it’s time. We’re just going off our experience. It’s time. And all our experiences with one woman each. Oh, with your wives, with your partners. Yeah. That’s right. Well, especially, well that’s thanks for that background. Because growing up in an environment like… Lemme just say this, most people on planet are not comfortable talking about sex. It makes them uncomfortable. Obviously, they’re not comfortable. There’s a lot of judgment, there’s a lot of fear, especially who grew up in very religious backgrounds. I think a lot of my listeners are people who are either still in that space, or have moved beyond that space, or left that space. But it’s still like, how do you start talking about something that was so demonized your entire life? And now we’re gonna talk about it. So it’s mixed messages. And then no matter where you grew up, society doesn’t actually welcome it with open arms. There’s so much misinformation about sex. So it’s just… I’m just glad that we’ve all arrived here today, is what I’m saying. Yeah. But I get why it’s not easy. We’re countering that, now with just being totally open and saying, “Hey, I think there’s a lot of health, and just putting it out there. And that’s why I just wanna start by jumping into orgasms. Oh, okay. Can we talk about orga, orga, all types of orgasms. I wanna have every type of orgasm that can be had, and that’s what I wanna- I’m sorry Emily. That’s what I want get outta this- But you know what? There’s no shame in asking that question, but it’s just the way you framed it when you said, “I wanna jump into orgasms.” That was how you… You could have said, “Let’s talk about orgasms.” Yeah. Is there a jumping orgasm? Can I reach climax by jumping? No. I do think one of those little trampolines, like the little exercise trampolines. If you jump on one of those long enough and hard enough, I do believe you can have an orgasm on one. Really? I do… Yeah. I mean, you could probably have an orgasm anywhere if you really wanted to. But sure, that would be an interesting place. But I don’t think we should jump, here’s the problem with orgasms. We think we should just be able to snap our hands and jump right into orgasms, but it takes a little bit of warm up. Right. Something called foreplay. Yeah. Something called understanding the orgasm. I know that part of most part. I’m just saying, when it comes to… I mean, I’m not gonna have an orgasm right here. Yeah. I’m just gonna have a conversation about it. Right. Exactly, cool. ‘Cause that’s a whole different show. I don’t wanna- That’s not even my show. I wanna learn about new orgasms and then I wanna… So that I can experience it. What do you mean? Well. New? What do you know? Yeah. What do you think he means by new orgasms? Unclear, ’cause here’s the thing. I always wanna meet people where they’re at, and I’m not sure how much, what you know about orgasms. What’s new to you might not be new to someone else. Do you wanna- Well, I’ve had a… I’ve had an orgasm with my penis. Okay, that’s great. That is a penile orgasm. Yep. Okay. That’s an orgasm. That’s a real orgasm. And I love it. I had one of those as well. I’m a big fan of those. Right? They’re a good time. I don’t know what other types there are that I could have. Okay. Yeah, that’s why we get into that. Especially because you guys are in male bodies, ’cause you have penises. Yeah. I can say all the things here, right? Like really- Oh, yeah. Like that’s a clinical term, you have a penis. So people of penises, they can also have something called a prostate orgasm. Because men have a prostate, and so that’s through your anus, there’s this wonderful little walnut shaped, bunch of clumps of nerve endings there- Yeah. That you could find about two inches inside with a finger or toy. And when penetrate- Two inches inside your butt there’s a walnut. Yeah, about two inches. There’s a walnut, yes. Kinda like a walnut. You don’t even have to eat walnuts to get it. Wow. I’ve heard about this, this is a good one to start with because I’ve never had one of these. But I did have a friend one time who told me that if I… That I should… He described it and I was like, “Oh my God, I gotta have one of these.” Yes, Are you talking about the milking, the milking of the prostate? Yes. Is that what you’re talking about? Yes. I don’t know what I’m talking about. What is it? What is it like? Okay. What do you do to the walnut? Okay, so. You said two inches? It’s about an inch. Yeah, and you should have two, you gotta find it. Kind of find it yourself, or someone could find it for you. But it’s sort of like, you could put a finger inside and it takes a little bit of practice, but it’s like a come hither motion towards your belly button. And it’s similar to how to find a G-spot on a female partner. Okay. In the sense of it’s that same motion, like towards the belly button- Yeah. I don’t know why my hands are like this. Yeah, put ’em away- I’m too, I’m showing you. Put ’em away. And so yeah, that how you find it. And so what happens is it’s sort of responsible for… Yeah, it can help. But the amazing thing about it, the reason why you don’t know about it is because there is a lot of people who believe that if they ever explored that area, the prostate and what could feel amazing, that it would somehow define their sexuality. Like maybe it’ll make me gay. Right. Maybe it’ll be people think things. And I don’t think that the gay community particularly has a lockdown on the prostate market. It just means that they like discovered it in other ways that we feel shame about. But I’m telling you a sex tech doesn’t make you gay if you were into it, which I hope that you might be after today. That’s amazing, and there has to be some exploring and some hunting around. But once you find it, it can feel incredible. And it’s sort of stimulating this different part. So it’s different than your regular orgasm. Okay. It’s different than orgasm of your penis, ’cause you’re stimulating the prostate, which is like seminal fluid in it and what you kind of, it feels different, but it can feel incredible. So for the majority of penis owners, as I call them on my show, they say that it’s a very intense feeling that they feel throughout their whole body. And it’s a little bit more intense, and yeah, not- More intense than a- Yes. I was gonna say a normal orgasm, but I don’t wanna say that ’cause that’s- Okay, well Than a wiener orgasm. I didn’t know- Way more intense. I didn’t know I was gonna have to go here so early in this conversation. If you’re about to tell me that you’ve had one of these and you haven’t told me about it, I’m gonna be pretty mad. I don’t tell you everything, man. But this is… If this is like a earth shattering orgasm and you’re like keeping it to yourself. I had to talk to another friend who told me about it. I think I know who you’re talking about. So, okay. Well, you tell me this, what I’ll say is that I don’t necessarily think that my wife and I have figured out like the, what you might call the milking of the prostate, but isn’t there a similar… Is that a thing? Oh man. Did he just make that up? I wasn’t. No, I’m looking the prostate stimulating the prostate. I’m glad that I did not think about this ahead of time because- Does milk come out of it? Is seminal fluid, dude. Seminal fluid. Comes out of… Comes out where? Okay, do you know? Yeah. It produces the fluid in semen, but it’s like the size of the shape of the walnut, but there’s also this seminal fluid that comes out of it. Like, so when you say- So you ejaculate? Hold on, let me. Yes. I know a little bit about this. We used to call it pre… When we were growing up, right. You remember that, especially when you were a teenager and you were hanging out with a hot girl, spending time with her and then all of a sudden- Spending time with her. You get home. And for me, I honestly didn’t even have to, nothing had to happen. Sometimes it was just like, something could happen and just the thought of something could happen, you get home- Yeah. And you look in your drawers and you’re like, there was some stuff happening where I was getting ready for this, right. That’s seminal fluid, right? Yeah, yeah. You’ve experienced? Yes. That’s right? So yes. I love that by the way. So here’s what I will tell you, and I’m trying, I can’t. I thought we would warm up to this, but you’re the one- No men. Who decided we would get- Jump into it. We jumped into orgasms . This is not sex, this is conversation about sex. We got to jump into it. So I have experimented with a butt plug. Nice. Yeah, nervous laugh. Great, very… That’s a great way- Is this surprising to you? It’s offensive to me. Why is it offensive to you? Because you didn’t share it with me. I’m not gonna share my butt plug with you, man. Like that’s unsanitary. You’re not even really supposed to share it with your partner, unless you like boil it ahead of time. A boiling butt plug. That sounds like torture. No, you wait for it to cool before you insert it. I meant share the experience, not to experience. Like loop me in like an email. I know. An email would be nice. The correct term is lube you in, actually. Yes. Because lube is very important. Now, okay. Just like a DM. Just anything, it’s like a text maybe. Emily, so- Ask me about butt plugs. What I’ll say is that this this intrigued me, this intrigue me a while ago. I think the first time I experimented with one, I think it was probably 15 years ago. I was still very much like a evangelical Christian conservative, but my view towards sex in the way that my wife and I think about sex has always been very open and kind of adventurous. But it was kind of like, I don’t know, kinda makes me feel like I’m having about to take a… And I didn’t know how to really embrace it. So it hasn’t been something that has happened. But you purchased one. Yeah, yeah. And you plugged your butt with it. Yeah, with the very small one, yeah. And then you didn’t come to work that way, did you? No, but I know from listening to Emily’s podcast, that there are people who will go to work and wear a butt plug all day, right? Yeah, some people. You learned that from people probably called in and asked how long is too long to wear a butt plug. I mean, it’s not a common question, but there’s some sanitary issues. So I wouldn’t wear it all day long. Just like anything, you probably gotta change it after a while. Maybe a few hours is max, but some people really love the sensation of having something. And this goes for all genders. It can feel really hot to have something inside of you all day, because there’s all these nerve endings. I think we need to break down why it feels good too. Okay, yes please. There’s so many nerve… Are you still okay? Are you recovered from the fact that Rhett didn’t share this with you? Are we good to move on? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, just to use an analogy, I feel like we jumped right into this sex timber conversation. And I was thinking that I was personally, like proverbially gonna be lubed up a little bit before I put the butt plug in, so to speak. Yes. And I just feel like you kind of forced me into it to be flank with you. Sorry. And there wasn’t consent, there wasn’t consent. I just said, sorry, I’m just asked, that’s literally where I left that statement. I don’t know why I meant to say, asking the penetrating questions. Yes, but what I will say, which I think is what you’re getting at here Emily, is that there’s a point in which you’re like, I understand the additional sensation- Yeah. That this offers. The additional seminal fluid that this offers the situation. It hasn’t been the kind of thing that like, I know just from reading that there are some people who are like, “Hey, once I went back… Once I went to that, I never went back and I always have went in every time I have sex.” That’s not my experience, but I definitely think it’s worth experimenting with, and there might be some benefits. So Emily. I can send you a butt plug. We can talk after the show. Hold on, do you have like- Is that merch? Do you have like a- Merchandising? Do you have a proprietary butt plug? Yeah, no, but I get so many sent to me, prostate toys to test. Oh, we know he’ll test ’em all the time, but you don’t even have to report back just as a gift. My gift is you. Okay. Well, it seems like I’m the one who needs it. Does the butt plug stimulate the prostate? Yes. And so it gives you a prostate orgasm. Okay. I always want my assistant to write, ’cause we actually record in my house that she can almost like go run and grab a butt plug and a prostate toy. Yeah. Yes please. To show you, ’cause we’re on video. You know where they’re, they’re actually- Jenna, Jenna is our assistant. Jenna, can you run and grab Rhett’s butt plug? Do you know about this? Yeah, I know exactly where it is. That is the first… We gave Jenna a mic, that is the first thing she ever said that she knew where Rhett’s butt plug was. They gave me a mic for a vulva, a person with a vulva’s point of view on this end. Okay. Yeah, okay. Yes. Good, I’m so glad you’re here. I’m so glad you’re here. Truly, truly. But anyway, where were we? So yes a butt plug is great and that can be used all genders, butt plug can put inside and it feels great. Because there’s so many nerve ending right inside, like a butt plug might only go in like an inch or two, which I know that said that’s where the prostate is, but it’s a little bit harder to find with a butt plug. A butt plug will not necessarily stimulate the entire prostate, however, a prostate toy, which is shaped like the internal part of a prostate, like your prostate, is a little bit longer. It has some vibrations that go inside it. It can also vibrate. Oh. Here we go. This might be your… Oh, I dunno if any these are prostate toys. Oh, they’re not prostate toys. Let me- It might be hard to find the tantra. is so funny. What’s the line? They’re like black. Okay, let me find them. And they… I don’t know, we’ll have to point, but sure. But this is okay. These are all the butt plugs I just happen to have in my storage. Is that just a big box or is that a big butt plug? Or does that have a remote control? Yes, you guys so much happened in these years. Holy… I’m telling you, Rhett since you used your last butt plug, you guys, I can send whatever you’re interested to. They also don’t come in pink if you want like a black one or a blue one. But this is one by We-Vibe, but they has a remote control. There’s other ones that you could use with your phone, where it digitally, like you could send your partner- You can make calls with the butt plug? I’m not gonna listen. I’m not talk… I am not talking to my mom through a butt plug. If my mom calls me up while I’ve got that thing in me, I am not answering, okay? No, I recommend… That’s a strong no, but you can have your partner control it from a phone. What happens with… It just vibrates? So some of these vibrates someplace, some don’t. But you put ’em inside and it just sort of like this one is a… This is by We-Vibe, it’s like a… It’s called the Ditto. And if this one does vibrate, it goes inside, and this part also here goes inside. But this stimulates the peroneum, which is like the taint, the taint, like a taint- Yes. Oh, yeah. You know what the taint is? Taint your ass, taint balls. Yeah. And they say this part is really sensitive to men too, like right before the… Yeah, the taint, the area right there. So if this goes inside of you, this butt plug, then right here, this also vibrates, and you can just kind of push it up against. It’s like everything that you put in your butt should have a flared edge. Yeah. It should flare. So you don’t get… It doesn’t get lost. So this is the flare- So you don’t have to go to the ER and be one of those stories. You don’t wanna be on the show, “Sex Seminar of The Year.” Yeah, right. Unless you do wanna be on that show. I don’t. Do any of these products, ’cause I think where we might be able to really get Link involved in this, do any of these remote control butt plugs also double as like a Bluetooth speaker? No. Because I feel like if he could pump hip hop to his ass. Wait, yes. This is the kind of thing that he would love. That might be your entry point. I think a tribe called quest. Well, the entry point is the anus, I understand that. There is another company that makes one that you can set to your playlist and it will vibrate along with your playlist. Yes. Oh, yes. Okay, thank you. Good job. So tell me how to use this thing. Let’s just play exactly. I’m getting really overhead here on all the things. So what you do is, you… So this is just a pro… Okay, so this one is the prostate toy. Can you see this? So this one. So progasm 20 anniversary. there’s so much tech. You guys, I’m obsessed with this brand because Aeros knows all about it. So this one looks a little bit more like your prostate, right? Like this one fits in a little bit more snug. Okay. But I recommend for any kind of anal play, starting with something a little smaller, like a butt plug, Okay? Okay. How you start is the first thing I would recommend if you haven’t ever even ventured into that area, then maybe when you’re having your alone time, if it’s your masturbating or with your partner, your wife, to first just explore anal play, like what does it actually feel like even to have a finger outside of my anus? Because there’s a lot of like muscles that feel really great, like the sphincter muscles are very sensitive in that area. Like you don’t wanna go from zero to anal is all I’m saying. You don’t wanna- Yeah. Let’s build up. That’s gonna be the name of this episode, “Zero to Anal.” You’re welcome. Yeah. That’s exactly what we did. Yes. So you wanna start out with fingers, maybe your own fingers or your partner’s fingers. You wanna always make sure that your hands are clean. Your fingernails are trimmed, you or your partners or probably everyone’s, and you wanna use a lot of lube, ’cause the anus is not self lubricating. So you wanna make sure you use lube and you explore, and you think like, whoa. And you just kind of maybe use a finger, what does that feel like to even have something inside of me? I wouldn’t go from like zero to like a bigger toy at first. So you try that out and you go very slow and you communicate well with your partner. And you’re like, “Oh, that actually does feel good or might feel good.” And then you can graduate to a butt plug. Again, you put that in slowly. There’s a ceremony when you graduate to the butt plug, there is a ceremony, there’s a tassel and everything. Yeah. Just so you know. I can send you my… I can send you my gown. Okay. Will your mom be at my ceremony? Yeah, my dad will be filming it with this little video camera too, because he films all my graduations. This will be one he’s never like the legs, he’s never seen. Is there- Question for you Emily? I wanna know, is there any other prep? Because once I started to talk about the good stuff, I don’t want to have to go back and talk about the- Make sure that you’re about empty, about empty. Make sure that you don’t need to go to- Go to bathroom. Well, here’s the thing, hygiene… So let’s just… We can talk about all the worries that people have and that’s one of them like- Yeah. First is like, is it gonna make me… People will think I’m gay if I’m not gay or nothing matters? That’s bull… Yeah, we’re over that. You’re beyond that, thank God. Okay, good, okay. The other thing is about- We know what makes you gay and it’s who you are. Yeah, it’s who you are, who you sleep with perhaps would make you gay. Yeah. Not a toy. So after you’ve feel good about that, the hygiene part is about just like cleaning out your bowel, like cleaning. I mean, if you know when you’ve gone to the bathroom and you haven’t, so typically not most of us. Sometimes. Sometimes, as I get older, it’s harder to figure out. Let’s not… I want to hear this part, but I don’t want to dwell on it. Okay, go ahead We’re gonna go very quickly- This is a barrier. This is a barrier for me. Empty the bottle or not. Okay. Okay, so we’re gonna talk about it. So you know, you know when you’ve gone or you haven’t, if it’s been 12 hours and you’ve gone. Let’s say, you know this is my natural bowel cycle. Okay, . I’ve got do that to my pier. You’re pretty much fine- Yeah. If it’s like, “Oh, I had a really big meal last night. I had lots of beans, rice, whatever. I haven’t gone yet.” Not the best day to try them. Right. But there’s also the . Is there any more… Okay, so is there any more… Is there another level of clean? Okay. I’m a fan of cleaning all types of things. Matter of fact. Okay. But my problem is I clean things too much. Well, this is okay. Again, I happen to listen to the right episode. And first of all it’s very fresh in my memory, but- Oh yeah? I love this. The doctor that you were talking to the first half of the anal episode, he has his own, essentially he has his own anal… What’s it called? Feature, what’s the name- Yeah , feature method, Dr. Evan Goldstein. Yep, feature method. Yep, I have a… I can’t even… I have a . Oh. Well, that’ll take care of some of it, but- Some of it. See, here’s the thing, is that… Okay, so I actually talked… I think I talked about this on the podcast is that maybe I didn’t. Well, but we’re already here so. Every once in a while I told you, ’cause you do the same thing. There’s been a couple of times when you’re about to travel, I know when I’m about to travel. Yeah. And I’m like, I’m gonna be on a plane today. I’ve gotta get on… There’s a connection. I don’t like on a plane… Or really at an airport. Oh yeah, yeah. So it’s just like- I’m a big fan of like- Do a little enema. Enema. But the travel- Oh. I have to travel with an enema ’cause I get all clogged up. Oh, perfect. So here’s the thing. I’m totally good with it. I love an enema. Hold on, but see, I’m pulling you back from that because what I learned on Emily’s podcast from the doctor that… What’s his name? Dr. Evan Goldstein. Evan Goldstein. If you’re just using like water or it’s like a traditional enema solution, you’re actually like taking things out of the lining. That’s like a protective lining. So he’s got some like pH ballot, special blend. Okay. He’s got a proprietary- Some guy’s trying to sell me something, I get it. But also he is… But lemme tell you this, you don’t need to, you could go to the grocery store, you go to the store, wherever you buy your enemas, and you could buy the enema that comes with the vinegar. Pour out all that vinegar, don’t use that. And then just use the hot water and do that and then flush it through your system one or two times, so you feel everything’s out. Okay, I’m good there. That’s easy, right? Just do that. And then you have confidence. You don’t need vinegar. Yeah. That it’s not a question. So you’ve done a little anal play is what I hear. I mean, if you wanna call- Well, it’s always felt like an emergency situation. I know, but I’m saying that like, I would say that you are… And I’m not speaking for all men or all men who grew up in our environment with our background, but we are all uncomfortable with the idea of like… Right, but- The dukey shoot as you call it. The fact that you are doing an enema, a pre travel enema and then talking about it on the internet, you’re way ahead of the game. Yes. right. You’re ready to go on to middle school and then the graduation into the butt plug zone. But the question- I’m gonna lap you buddy. This is not a competition. The question I have for you, Emily is how do you address couples or people in general who are like, man… We aren’t even having sex on a regular basis or we’re not even talking about sex, or like we do it the same way every single time. So like we are seven layers removed from butt plug graduation mode. Right. What do you think is the key to… Because I think that the thing that we find is that, when you just talk about this stuff and you start exploring it together as a couple, there’s a world of fun that you’re just leaving on the table if you are just like, this makes me feel uncomfortable. And I’m not trying to shame anybody who may not be as comfortable. You don’t have to be comfortable with all this stuff that doesn’t make you normal or abnormal or whatever. But if you kind of are interested and you want to do this, but the idea of broaching this topic with your partner is something that makes your sphincter completely shrivel up. How do you address those people? Hmm, such a good question because more I would say again, I love this question because this is the challenge. Most couples have a hard time talking about sex, and most couples in long term relationships have gotten or have gotten, or will get to the point where sex has become kind of mundane, rote, a little bit stale and maybe they even stopped having sex, and they literally don’t know what to do, how to talk about it, or where to start again- Yep. To bring back that spark. And if you haven’t talked about sex and nothing’s been happening a while, again, I probably wouldn’t go from not talking about sex to anal. I would probably start in another area. Yeah. And so I would recommend is really just I’ve these three Ts of communication. And they’ve helped many, many people. And it’s timing, tone and turf. Because what I found is that we don’t know how to bring this topic up. Maybe you want more sex than your partner, or maybe you both realize it hasn’t been happening, yet, you really don’t know how to talk about it. And you keep hoping it get going to get better or one day our partners gonna come home, be like, “I’m ready.” Or it’s just dead, it’s just died. And the first thing I wanna do is normalize that for every couple that is in a long term relationship. I hate saying every, ’cause it’s like, “No, we haven’t,” fine, but the majority, 99% of couples gonna get to a point where they get into a sexual rote. And that’s because we don’t talk about sex. We are not comfortable with it. And we assume that when there’s a problem with our sex life, it probably means either like, we shouldn’t be together anymore, it’s something I did wrong, I’m no longer attractive, my partner doesn’t find me attractive. And we create all these stories on our head. And since we don’t have a lot of great examples of people talking about sex, we just decided to say nothing. So with timing, tone and turf, which is a great way to have it. You’ve never… I’m gonna assume for the majority of the listening, it’s gotten stale or for you guys, maybe I know you didn’t say that, but you’re not really sure how to broach it. And so we need the timing is when you are just hanging out, you’re not halt, I like to say hungry, angry, lonely, or tired. So make sure none of those things are happening, but you’re in a good place. Chilling- I’m always hungry though. I know, well, one of them, at least. You’re not so hungry that you’re gonna be cranky. Got it. So that’s the timing. It’s not gonna be after the last time you got frustrated that the sex didn’t happen and then you’re like, “Why didn’t it happen again?” No, it’s that time. Yeah. And then your tone is compassionate and it’s curious. And it’s like, “Hey, I realize that we haven’t talked about our sex life in a long time. And I realize that we probably both wanna be great lovers to each other. So maybe we can start to figure out ways to talk about it. And I’d letting you know that I’d love to find ways so we can both get our needs met, be wonderful lovers to each other, have more satisfaction.” Got it. And the conversation just goes from there. And then the tone, the turf is outside the bedroom. Many couples think that the conversation should happen in the bedroom. ‘Cause if you were talking about like a recipe, it would happen in the kitchen. But the bedroom, I believe, deeply believe it should be for sleeping and for sex. So to have the conversations, when you’re like on a road trip, you’re hanging out together. You’re just in a good mellow space- So you’re on my side, you believe no talking in the bedroom? Yeah. Yeah, not about these things. You can dirty talk in the bedroom. And at what point do you reveal that you’ve had a butt plug in the whole time? Well, if it has a tail. That’s up to you. If it has a tail on it- Oh- Which I haven’t done that you can do that. You can get ’em with tails. I have- Oh, like a furry tail. Yeah, a furry tail. Yes. Oh. Yeah, I haven’t done that yet, but I feel after this conversation, I gotta do something. If you yank on it, does it make raccoon sounds? You don’t want to yank on it. Just a little… A light tug at most. Okay, okay. All right. Yeah. That was very, very helpful. That question- That question was very helpful, but honestly it just wasn’t juicy enough for me- Okay. What’s another orgasm that I can have. Oh, we’re back to orgasms. Okay, another one that you can have, or that your partner can have. Yeah, let’s focus on what our partners gonna experience. Okay, let’s talk about the partner. Okay. So what kind of orgasms do we know about with our partners- So you’ve got the clitoral orgasm, and then you’ve got the vaginal orgasm and those are different, even though the clitoris can extend all the way inside, depending on the person’s anatomy. Right. It goes further than others. So I’m familiar with these concepts. Good, I love this. We’re so good. So there is a clitoral orgasm, which we all know the clitoris, know is 8,000 nerve endings. I’m actually gonna show you another prop here. Oh, you got- We’ve got a- You got a clitoris puppet? Yes, please. Oh, I do have. I wonder what voice she’s gonna use for it. Oh, that’s a good point. Hello, this is your vulva. No, I think you need to go again, like go like Oscar- Oscar the Grouch, Eor. No, we don’t wanna be- Oh my God, not hot Oscar the Grouch. What does he do? Oh, he’s voice is the cookie, if that’s a cookie monster. I don’t know if I can make all of it. I don’t think I can break Oscar the Grouch, but you guys can narrate the, the vulva. No, you do it. Don’t let no. I’m the left vulva. Are you the right one? Yes. No, I’m not… I’m not getting- You’d be the right vulva. I’m not gonna be one half of a vulva puppet with you, I’m sorry. Look up here in between us. Look at that man in the boat. Yeah, that’s good. Good. Good job. Although there’s only one vulva. Oh. There’s only one vulva, but you could be the labia, there’s two labias. Oh yes. See, look at that. You could be the left- Yeah, these are right and left vulva, men. I’m the left labia. So Let me just say this, the vulva is referring to the external part of the vagina. Yes. Which a lot of people interchange them vagina about- Listen, I am guilty. You know this. What I said last year, and I’ve tried to take responsibility for this, but… Okay, so we talked a little bit about my spiritual background, but I said that I thought that the best evidence for the existence of God is the vagina, right? Is my favorite thing in the world. And then everyone went on to tell me that what you’re really talking about is the vulva. Yeah. But it just sounds when you say it in the context of like a colloquial, like philosophical thing, it feels like I know I’m technically wrong, but when you say vulva, it kind of sounds like in that context, you’re trying to like prove that you know all the terminology. But when the doctor is talking about it- Why can’t you just be wrong? Just be wrong, dude. I said, I’m technically wrong. No, just be totally wrong. But I’m spiritually right. No, just be totally wrong. Okay, the best existence, the best evidence for the existence of God is the vulva, there I said it. Okay, great. I love it. And the clitoris and… I’m with you. Great. Good. You’re gonna tell me that the clitoris has more nerve endings than the head of the penis. I’ve heard that. Nice. Yes, in fact, the clitoris has 8,000 nerve endings and the penis, circumcised penis has 4,000. Whoa, man. From an evolutionary standpoint, it’s weird that it’s separated from the insertion point, because it seems like… Again, just evolutionarily speaking, if you’re thinking about procreation that the most… The insertion of the penis into the vagina should… Why aren’t the nerve endings down there? I wonder. This is such a good question. I am so glad you brought it up. It’s because we’ve been told, and you guys might be familiar to this from your upbringing, that sex is all about procreation. Penis goes into vagina, we are procreating. Sex happens, baby’s born. And that’s the only time we should be having sex. That is the marketing machine behind sex that it’s procreation. But what we’ve come to find out is that the truth is the majority of people with vulvas will not have an orgasm with penetration for exactly the reasons you’re talking about. Because when there is a penis going into here, it is nowhere even scraping or saying hello to the clitoris. So the majority of women, and I would say only 25% of women have an orgasm with a penis in their vagina. Yeah. So procreation, I mean, so penetration was all about procreation, and otherwise you were ashamed if you had any other kind of sex in many places in the world. Well, and also in me in media, everything we grew up watching- Yes. It was just, oh, okay. So when you’re having sex with a woman, like you’re thrust- You’re thrusting. And then eventually she has an orgasm from this act and you probably have it exactly the same time if you’re really good at it. Yeah. And so that was the thought that we all brought into- Yeah, fake news- Our sexual experiences. Fake propag… Yeah. It’s fake sexual propaganda, was all about that. So what I’m saying is, but here’s what I wanna tell you. The good news is, so let’s just say like, these are the labias, this is the clitoral hood. This is the clitoris. But just so you know, what I think you mentioned this earlier is that it has 8,000 nerves. Well, you did mention that, but it’s not just this little bulb. Do you know that the clitoris has legs that extend deep inside? So here’s the actual clitoris, and it goes behind this structure. So this- Looks Like a wishbone. Exactly, it’s a wishbone. And this part right here is the clitoris, but everything else is internal. So those 8,000 nerve endings are right behind the labia. See what I mean? Whoa. And so when you are stimulating it here, that’s great. But it’s also stimulating internally, all these areas that feel good with the legs of the clitoris. Okay. This is the clitoral legs, yeah. Has legs. I think that answers, if I go like purely scientific and evolutionary theory here, the developmentally, the clitoris is comparable to the head of the penis. But then as a human develops, it either turns into a penis or it turns into a clitoris and everything else- Based on hormones in the process. Exactly. And I do think that what… So maybe from an evolutionary standpoint that the clitoris has gone down there- Yes. More than I realized. More than you realized. Yeah. Penis and the clitoris are analogous, truly. And I don’t wanna… I wanna keep giving you merch ideas, but I just had another one, I think you need to start selling the clitoral hoodie. Oh. I mean that just- I Love that. That just feels like it’s gonna sell itself. Yeah. I mean, it doesn’t have… I mean, it’s just a hoodie with maybe like… Maybe there’s a cool sort of abstract clitoris design on the back or the front. So you don’t really know, but you just on your website, it’s the clitoral hoodie. I also think that Doctor Emily could sell a travel pillow that is shaped like a clitoris. Like this is the entire clitoris. Yep. And then you wrap it around your neck and it’s a great conversation piece. You’re always educating. And then you’re sleeping. What better way to sleep than being wrapped in a clitoris. Great. Swaddle with your clitoris, right? Yeah, I love it. What are we… what do I… What can I do that I haven’t been doing- Well, but before you get there- To the clitoris? You didn’t like that question? No, no, because I don’t wanna leave this subject yet because first of all, I’m gonna have to… I mean, my wife is fine with me talking about a lot of stuff while obviously have to ask her, I’m gonna go ahead and just disclose some things and then I’ll ask her before you release this episode, if this was okay. Perfect. But so I think she is typical of a lot of women in that the I would say, every orgasm has been a clitoral orgasm, but there has been over the past 20 years, there has been the quest for the vaginal orgasm, right? Which is like, oh, I think it’s about to happen. Oh, is it? Oh, is it gonna happen? And so what do you think about that quest? Is that something that… Is it something that you should just abandon? Is it something that- No. Okay. No don’t ever abandon the exploration of your bodies. And there’s a lot of different theories around the internal orgasm, AKA the G-spot. In fact, I sort of don’t even think it’s a spot, I think it’s more like an area. And I also think that a lot of it’s connected to the clitoral legs. So when you go inside of here… Well, first lemme tell you this, it’s very… The easiest way or the one of the first steps to actually having an internal orgasm or G-spot orgasm is making sure that you have a clitoral orgasm first, that you’re already stimulated, you’re already turned on because blood becomes more on gorge, if it’s swollen, you get turned on. And then you’re more likely to be able to find the G-spot, which much like the prostate is about an inch and a half inside using your fingers in a come hither motion, trying to find this little rough area, which could be like the G area. So that’s the spot. And it helps again to be aroused, and then you just kind of use that with the finger and just kind of penetrate to feel around and apply pressure and see where that goes. It could be a blended orgasm too, when she already has a clitoral orgasm. So it’s just easier to have like a blended one, so it feels like all of them, and again, for some people… And I believe there’s too- I love a good smoothie. A blended smoothie, a blended orgasm smoothie. Yeah. Why not? They sell that at air one, I think. Or they should be I dunno. It’s way too expensive though. And you gotta give ’em that- Yeah, yeah. But yeah, so no. I think that with toys, and with fingers, and with talking about it, I think that many, many women can find this elusive G-spot, but orgasm. But it’s not gonna happen through a penis for many. Like if it hasn’t happened yet after 20 years, this has nothing to do with your penis, it has everything to do with the anatomy. If you put a hundred women in a room and you looked at all of them touching themselves, let’s say, they were all like doing the thing that makes them feel good. They’d all be doing something different because our vaginas, our vulvas are like snowflakes and they’re all different. So every single woman needs something else. So it’s a little- Blurr, that’s cold. Blurr, gotta warm it up. It’s like a snowflake. Well, in a room full of dudes, you’d see him doing different stuff. We knew a guy in high school that did two hand thing like this. He would make… He did that kind of thing. Yeah, he did. Remember when you told- Well, we didn’t witness it, but he did choose to tell us. No, but he just told, I guess, one of those conversations where everybody was disclosing- He made it- And they were talking about- The double hand diamond. Yeah, well, Link admitted that he uses his left hand, which is just another piece of evidence that he’s lefthanded. He also holds a microphone with his left hand. Sorry, if you didn’t want me to share that we could edit it out. And then another friend talked about the double thing. So I mean, guys do it in all kinds of different ways as well. Guys do it all different ways too, you’re absolutely right. You’re absolutely right. And so we all do it differently, but how fun… And I also recommend current couples to do this together, like a mutual masturbation sesh is a super hot thing for couples to do, to be like, I am gonna look at what I do. I’m gonna turn myself on, you’re gonna turn yourself, you’re gonna do your thing, and then I’m gonna like… There’s two reasons why I love this because you’re gonna see what turns your partner on, and that’s really hot to see them touch themselves. But you’re also gonna learn, like, what do are they actually doing? How do they touch themselves if they mustabate? Which I hope they do. Yeah. And then you just learn, you learn and you just slow down and it’s a process. But if it hasn’t happened all these years and there’s nothing wrong with you either, because again, the majority of women are not, and it has to do with their anatomy. It has to do with biologically speaking, how closely their vaginal opening is to their clitoris. And for those women, they’re more likely to have more internal orgasms. But for the other ones, they got experiment with there’s some great toys, fingers, taking the pressure off, experimenting, and having a clitoral orgasm first. Those are my best recommendations for that orgasm. So I’m trying to think, what else, what else is there down there that can be splined, squirting? Let’s talk about that. Okay, is like- What’s my question here? Is it pee, and does it matter? Is it pee? Thank you, thank you. That’s a top question. Okay, well, first of all, squirting, I did a show on squirting. If wants such… Check it out “Sex With Emily.” Can you imagine this? It’s like the most popular show I’ve done in 20 years. But I had a squirting… I mean, people just love talking about squirting, but what it is? It is liquids for it’s periurethral fluids. There are traces of urine. They have done studies of women who completely empty their bladders, and then they happen to orgasm, and then yes, there’s still urine in it. My answer to that is, so what, who cares? Does it feel good? Throw a sheet down. But there’s a lot of debate, like, is it pee? Is it whatever? So I don’t know, if we wanna spend time there great, but I don’t think it matters. But what I can say is that for many women they can squirt or female ejaculate by stimulating the female prostate, which we also have one as well. Where is that? The female prostate is sort of inside the vaginal… I think you guys should just listen to this show we did with Deborah Sandal who like in the 70s started teaching women to squirt. But the prostate is like, once you get aroused and then gorge, like I said, it’s like a little area right behind the vaginal wall where you might be fighting looking for the G-spot. Okay, so still on the front- And you can see it, and it swells. Still on the front side. Okay. And it swells, and eventually that also has prosthetic fluid in it, and when stimulated a woman can ejaculate. Now, here’s the thing about ejaculation, it can feel amazing, like an incredible release, but it’s not necessarily… You can squirt and that orgasm, you can orgasm and not squirt. So I think that squirting became really popular during like with the advent of porn or with porn being available in our pocket- Yeah. In our pocket all the time. And seen time to see so more, so many more women squirting. So I just have gotten so many more questions about it since then, but it’s definitely like a fun thing to explore. You could help your partner do it using fingers, or your penis, or a toy. And really, it just comes from continued pressure to that internally pressure, pressure, pressure, feeling a release, and then she can release and learn. I think that many women can learn to squirt, it and just take some time. Practice. Because it gives you this… It’s a different type of… I can relate to it because with an ejaculation, there’s a sense of completion. Is that… Would you describe it in that way, as such as completion? Well, I would describe… It is not necessary completion, so what I was saying for many women, they have one and they just feel released and it feels really good, but it’s not necessarily an orgasm. Now, some women have it alongside their orgasm. Like they have it with it, or, I mean, they have it with an orgasm and they squirt, and it’s just different for all different kinds of women to say, if they would define it as completion. But they might define it as just like a really intense release that could be kind of emotional, physical. And once you know that it is a possibility and you have experienced it, it can be this thing where, well, we gotta go until that happens because that’s the… I think that’s kinda what you’re getting at- Yeah. Like that’s the sign that- Is that the definition of success? The did has been done. We all get to define what success looks like in a relationship and in orgasm. That’s why I hate to put labels on it. It’s like, was it success? How did your partner feel? Did she feel good, bad? Did she feel like it was a pain in the ass? Or the pain in her vulva? Did she feel like it wasn’t like a fun thing to do? That’s to me is what successful sex is. Or did we talk about it? Did we both get our needs met? Whatever our needs were that day. Was there some aftercare? We cuddled after, we talked about things. To me, that’s a successful rock. Okay, well, let’s talk about missionary. Not just because we used to be missionaries, which is no exaggeration. Could I inter… I just had one thing. Okay. Yes, Jenna has something. Jenna, where have you been my whole life? Yes. I was like, hey, one thing to go back with squirting. Well, the first thing with that was, there’s such an interesting, ’cause I am a vulva owner who has squirted in the past. And I think one of the things that’s so interesting about it is there’s a weird mix of, oh, that’s so amazing, and shame as well. Like I totally have been with a partner before and I have squirted. And then my partner was like, “Oh gosh, what is all of this?” And it made me feel like what… It was like the… And it was early on in my sexual awakening, I suppose. So still trying to feel comfortable. So I know a lot of other women have experienced that. I’m also one of the 25% as well, who can do… Who can have the vaginal, but that was something that I learned on solo, trying out things with myself- Masturbating like that. That was like in my own sexual awakening, separate from a partner. But then- Yeah. When you having those discussions with partners now of just like, you’re gonna be chilled with all this stuff, right? Right. Like this is a good thing. Yeah, I’m so glad you brought this up. You just brought up like so many great points. The first thing is that like, yeah, a lot of us have been shamed by a partner. That’s I once had a partner who’s like, I remember like I got my period or something and he was like, “Oh God, we gotta change the sheet, to take a shower, and like call 911.” I’m like, are you… Kidding me? Like, . So then we get shame, I’m like, I have to put blankets down and sheets down. And there is that partner who shames us all the time. Like, it’s a mess. And yes, I’ve had guys call in and be like, it’s a mess and I don’t want it. It’s fine. And I think throw a towel down, throw a beach towel down, like do something. There’s some there’s throws that are just made for sex because sex can be messy. I think if they’re not preparing it or maybe they’re a little OCD, like that just rocked their world. So I am sorry you got shamed that way, but I just… Again, yeah, we wanna move on to partners that are like, bring it, like messy and hot and sex is all those things. And those are the partners that I choose to be with, but yeah, we all have people from the past that were like, that was not a good lesson that learned. Not a good message that they sent me ’cause now I feel shame about it. But hopefully we can move on from that. Was that… I mean, were you surprised at that time or were you like, this is… You’re… Oh yeah, I was super surprised. It was the first time that it had happened for me. So I was also like, what? So you both surprised? And ’cause I didn’t really watch porn, so I didn’t know necessarily that that is something that is what happens. Yeah. And then, my sexual education was lacking of course. But then yeah, I started talking to my girlfriends, ’cause my girlfriends and I all super open with each other, and I started asking them, I was like, is this weird? He said it was weird. And then my friends were like, absolutely not, fuck him. Like, that’s amazing that happened to you, I’m so happy for you. And you can find that with somebody who’s gonna be really excited. But yeah, it was a weird, I had to just feel comfortable- Yeah. Sharing the experience, and feeling comfortable talking to my friends about it. And I think that’s what I suggest for a lot of younger women who are starting their like sexual journey is talk to your friends. As soon as I started talking to my friends, we have the best conversations about it. Like it’s great. Yeah, it’s great. Yeah. It’s exactly it. Find you fit- Well, I mean that that’s true for us too. I mean, I was giving you a hard time about not telling about the butt plug, but there’s a lot of stuff that we talked about and encouraged each other and it’s like, oh, I discovered this or this works for us. Well, I just feel like in the context I have to tell this story. So again, this is probably 16, 17 years ago when me and you were MCing “Big Break.” Okay, so this is when we were in it to win it on the Christian missions side, right. And so we were MCing this conference for campus crusade down in Panama city and it’s basically a bunch of college students coming together and then they kinda go out on the beach and try to talk to people about Jesus. And so we’re up there, we’re leading the thing, doing our comedy stuff in front of all them. Does that make you horny? And at that conference, ’cause the cool thing about it when being on staff is like, oh, we get to stay in this nice hotel and like me and Jessie get this time together, right. And at that time I don’t think we had… Maybe it was before we had kids or we left a kid, I left lock at home, I don’t know. But anyway, during that, at that conference, in that hotel was the first time that we ever experienced Jessie squirting. And again, and I had… Even though I was a good Christian boy, I had watched enough porn to know exactly what had just happened. And I was like, yes. But yeah, so it was just so funny that it happened in the context of this- And we’ve talked about squirting before. Yeah. So yeah, this thing is not news to me. And then for me, I have this reputation of being like, some people might say OCD or OCPD or like they… And I am a clean freak and I like things certain… I take joy and cleaning things, and ordering things, and organizing things. But when it comes to sex, there was a decision that I made that was… I don’t know when I made it, but it was a long time ago. And I think it was a result of the conversations that we were having. And it was just like, you know what? This is fun, this is an adventure, this is a place for play. This is a place for discovery. It’s not about… As long as you’re both on board and you’re communicating the world is your oyster. So that was kind of my approach. And then saying, you know what, there’s something that I might… My kneejerk reaction might be, oh, this could be dirty. Or you could see this is dirty. Or you could see this is gross. Well, and that was the advice that we were getting. So the one piece of advice that I got from somebody who actually talked to both of us before we got married, who was in our lives at the time. Yeah. Was… And again, I think as much as we talk about our Christian background, the thing I will say is that we did come from a particular tradition in which even though there was some very restrictive views on sex and who sex could be with, it was obviously only between a man and a woman, and only in the context of marriage. That was sort of the pretense. But- Right. Within that… In the confines of that, there wasn’t a whole lot of shame. It wasn’t a shame based as it isn’t a lot of traditions. So I’ll say that. That’s why I think that we ended up having pretty good sex lives from the beginning. ‘Cause we got kind of lucky with the specific people we were talking to. But one of the things that I was told from somebody who kind of mentored me was like, everything’s okay, but just stay away from the butt hole. and that was… It was his like that was his one piece of advice. Yeah, that was not grounded in anything. Yeah, so I think that that is an idea, and that’s not a Christian idea- Yeah. That’s a cultural idea. Yeah, so we’re back to that. But in general, I’m glad to say that I’ve reaped the benefits of checking any sort of, I don’t know what the word would be like, just my- Resistance. My resistance or hesitancy at the bedroom door and saying, you know what, this is a place for us to have fun together. And so let’s be adventurous, and let’s see what we can discover. And that that’s led to a whole lot of fun. I think my tendency is actually to just find what works and just go back to it. I am a creature of habit, if I find the right answer or if I know where the gold nuggets are, I’m gonna go back to that same- Yeah. Mine. So the there’s a… I think there’s a discipline to saying, okay, I’m gonna keep working at this. I’m gonna keep building skills and experiences. And that there’s a level of commitment and energy involved in continuing to prioritize your sex life, right? Yeah, yeah. Couples, I mean exactly. Couples have to continue to build a dialogue around sex, and talk. The more people talk about it, it becomes way more comfortable. And you get to talk about things all the time to the point where it becomes as comfortable as talking about the weather. You look forward to talking about sex because you now know that you’re on the same page, all the weird stigmas go by and you’re like, oh, how was that for you? You almost do like a play by play like, last night, what’d you think of that new thing I did with a toy or my finger? Oh yeah, I love this part. Didn’t love that part. That’s the world that I want to see couples and people living in, where it just sex is like, of course, we’re gonna talk about how am I gonna know? You’re not a mind reader. I’m not a mind reader. So yeah, I want couples just to continue to enhance and have these conversations and it’s gonna change everything, ’cause a couple to talk about sex have better sex. Well, that’s one of the thing. Yeah, nothing was more, just to add to that. Nothing was more amazing than when I heard the feedback was like, wow, that was magical. And it felt like a mouse was running out of a garden hose. What? Hey, I guess you had to be there. I’m glad I wasn’t. So that is one of the things that I’m really… That I honestly think has been a key to maintaining 21 year marriage now is… First of all, just blessed with just a natural communication with Jessie that was like, we’ve from the very beginning, regardless of the background that we’re from, we talked very openly about everything. So the communication has never been an issue, which I’m just thankful for. Great. ‘Cause I know that’s not an that’s not for everybody. Right. And then I kind of see this sort of sexual adventure for lack of a better word. Just a broad term, is like, that’s one of the ways you kind of pace out the progression of your relationship. You know what I’m saying? It’s like, even today you’ve shown me remote controls and stuff. And I guess I could have told you that those things existed specifically, but we don’t have those things in our house. It’s a wonderful time to be alive, right? It’s a wonderful time to be alive to know that like, okay, you can kind of pace these things out. I mean, oh, we’re introducing this new thing into our sex lives that we can kind of enjoy for a while. To me, that’s one of the ways that it can continues to stay sort of vibrant and continues to get more exciting as you go is like pacing this stuff out, introducing new things. ‘Cause I’m the same way and that you’re like, okay, well, which kind of gets back to the conversation I was going to with the missionary thing. Somehow I’ve guard the reputation, especially from Trevor, who’s one of our mythical kitchen ears that me and Jessie are really in the missionary sex. And you just really thought that was a funny joke and then really went for it. And the funny thing is, is that yeah, we kind of are. We’re into a lot of things, but I would say that that is… If you were to see a pie chart of all the sex that Jessie and I have had, the majority of the pie chart would be in the missionary position, right. Well, it gets a bad rap. What’s your question? I don’t know if there’s a question here as much as, why do you think mission… Okay, why do you think missionary gets a bad rap? Missionary gets a bad rap because, well, first it’s the position that we just kind of go back to over and over again, so it can get really, really boring, and it’s kind of our go to. But there are ways to keep it more interesting and just spice it up. It doesn’t have to be the way that you understand it to be, why people… I think just because it’s the basic position, but you can spice it up, like with more eye contact, there’s different ways to sit during it. You could be sitting up where your partner comes in like… You could be like sitting on the end of the bed where your partner comes in standing. I actually just did a podcast on this, “Making Missionary Hot.” And I talked all about this, there’s just all these ways that we just kind of do it the same way. And then there’s just like different leg positions. There’s something called the cat position, which is the Coital Alignment Technique, where harder to explain today, but literally it’s missionary, but your partner on top is just sort of scooted up a little bit further. So you have more stimulation on the pelvic floor area that can actually lead to more orgasm. So there’s just like… It gets a bad rap ’cause it’s all we know, and it’s really standard. And your partner can just go in and pound away like a jackhammer, but I like to get hacks for it. Oh. Well, but you see those alterations is still missionary, ’cause I agree. If you’re facing each other that’s missionary? If I would just- Roughly. I would say, yeah. If the two bodies are facing each other in general, but if all of a sudden your partner puts her legs straight up in the air and like an L shape. I mean, I don’t know, we gotta come up with more names I think. And there’s different types of missionaries, man. You’ve got the Mormons who are doing like two years in foreign countries and stuff. Right. You got the people like us who are going to college campuses, you got people who are going… There’s lots of missionaries. The Jesuits are sending people all over the place. So I just think we need to update the terminology. I like to think of the position when you put your legs up, that’s like a Jesuit thing, ’cause they’re always kind of like… I just feel they’re on the cutting edge a lot of times the Jesuits. I don’t know, maybe it’s just my lack of- You think that cutting edge? Experience with Jesuits. But does they just seem they’re like smart and doing things. I call it the listen to the ears. No, I meant to say, I call it, listen to the feet, because the feet are by your ears. Yeah. It’s like, what did the ear, what are the feet saying? What are the feet saying from right here? Okay, Emily, this has been very enlightening. You’ve got so much knowledge- We came to a gentle landing with the missionary. Well, I would say to use the prostate analogy, we would like to milk you for just a few more facts, a few more tips- Yeah. That didn’t come out, that didn’t come out great. But this is a safe space. So if you could give us three sort of parting tips, sex tips, sex tips for everybody that are like, okay- Okay. If you can remember these three things to take with you- Okay. That we haven’t talked about. Okay, so I would say foreplay starts after the last orgasm, meaning we foreplay all day, continuing to keep that spark alive. A lot of couples are like we had sex, we did it. And then the next time you come together, you’re like, we don’t feel as connected. So send a sexy text in the middle of the day, talk about your sex life, keep sex top of mind you. We make your sex easier. Okay. Can you dictate that text to me right now? No, okay, I got it. What’s the next hot tip. Okay. I mean the next one would be, I would say communication is a lubrication. The more we talk about sex, the better sex we’re going to have, that would be like my time and tone and turf stuff- Gotcha. Information. And the next thing I would say is slow everything down, go five times slower than you think. Sex sometimes moves way too fast, and if we like slowly kiss our partner, we slowly undress each other. We move… We just sort of put more intentionality and more presence with our partner, I think that we’ll find a lot of us we’ll be having more successful sex. Hmm, that’s good. Those are good words. You should have like a show or something where you talk about sex because it just feels like every time you say something is very insightful in like based in like grounded in facts and evidence based. You should really think about that. I should, you know what, thank. That literal hoodie thing, you gotta gotta run with that too. That is genius, I wrote it down. All right, then travel pillows is mine. Yeah, yeah. I’m taking that with- As long as you just send us a couple or four, send us four literal hoodie when you come out with that, that’s all we ask. Done. Done. Thanks so much Emily and- Thank you for having me. Do you have one in right now? Just be honest. Do I have… I know, I don’t wear the butt plug to work, but if you want me to start, I will. No, no, no. Not yet. I’m gonna just keep asking myself. Thank you, Emily. Thank you so much for having me. This was fun. Yeah, hope you learned a lot listener. Well, that was fun. It was. I love talking about this stuff. I don’t want it to necessarily be every single episode, but there’s just something about saying that like, Hey, you don’t have to feel shame and embarrassment when you say things and talk about these things. Yeah. It’s not an easy thing. It’s not an easy barrier to overcome. I love the fact that for the second year in a row, these conversations kind of bring it to the forefront of my mind and say, all right, I’m gonna give a lot more attention to sex and think of new things. Be exposed to new principles techniques. Well, you seem to be- So yeah, I’m actually very, I’m very excited to go home today. I will say you took issue with me, not telling you about my butt plug experience, which boy I mean. Maybe you did, and I blocked it down. First of all- Maybe I wasn’t ready for first of it. First of all, I think I have told you about it. Secondly, what are those people on tumbler that think me and you have sex with each other gonna do about this? How do they… I don’t think about those people. But the thing I really wanna ask you is, do you want me to tell you every time I do something new? Is that what you’re asking? Yeah. Okay. Yes. All right. Do you want me to send you my old butt plugs when I upgrade to new more technologically advanced ones? No. Okay. Do you want me to tell? You see, ’cause I mean, I try things new too. You’re like, just because… I mean, there’s plenty of things I’ll try. I need to think about it, but. I am up for… I believe you man. Every day, I’m up for more than I was the day before. I believe. I’ll put it to you down. I believe you. Thank you again to Emily Morse, Dr. Emily Morse. You need to listen to her podcast. I kind of knew of her, but I had not listened to her actually talk about this stuff. I’ve obviously listened to some of her podcast before she came in here and I was just like, man, I should be listening to this on a regular basis. And just a couple of episodes, I felt like I was like, man, like this is- They missing out. I’m a man who has sex with my wife and I just feel like there’s this treasure trove of information. But she doesn’t just have sex with Emily, she actually just did a MasterClass. Oh yeah, like officially in the MasterClass subscription service. Yeah, yeah. You can check that out. So she teaches the MasterClass thing and also lots of resources and more information about Emily @sexwithemily.com. When you’re taking your toddlers to the playground, bring your jambox and play sex with Emily’s podcast. I suggest doing it with headphones on- All right. And make sure that it’s going into the headphones and not coming outta your phone. A lot of times you don’t realize that it’s coming outta the phone. It’s just, you might be a mixed company. We got another special guest coming up on the next episode, Emily Nagoski, author of the book- We only speak with Emily’s when we talk about this- “Come As You Are.” Great book. She is a doctor? Yes, she is a doctor. Dr. Emily Nagoski. Only Dr. Emily’s. And we are going to be speaking with her. And then week after that, we’re gonna be… We’re gonna open it up to any questions, any sort of… I don’t know exactly what the prompt is. We’ll figure that out. What do we say? It’ll be on the… It’ll be online. Of course, go ahead and leave a voicemail. Let us know what you think about this episode, we love your responses. 1-888-earpod1. Earpod1. And of course, you can use #EarBiscuits. So we’ll speak at you next week’s “Sex Timber” continues. Timber. It elongates through the whole month. Hey, there Rhett and Link. This is Kaylee from Michigan. I’m watching your “Ride a Hole” episode, and you’re trying to figure out why young people watch podcasts instead of listening to podcasts. I mean, I’m 25. I feel like I’m in the young demographic. When I am watching a podcast, it is because if I listen to it, I will start thinking about other things, and then miss potentially like 20 to 30 minutes of the podcast. And then I have to like rewind and re-listen to it. So I have an on, on my TV, like in my home while I go and do other things like cook dinner or clean things, or like… I’m a teacher, so I’ll like grade things. And then I have something to look up to and it kind of like reenters the listening and then I don’t miss anything. But I don’t just sit and watch it like a movie it’s just like on in the background. So I’m listening technically like a regular podcast, but my eyes have something to focus on. Don’t know if everyone does it this way, but that is why I do it this way. Thanks so much, bye. Hey, Rhett and Link. This is Yesi from Florida. I just finished listening to lock, going to a university in Florida and I wish him the best. I’m from Miami, so University of Miami Hurricanes was in my childhood. I graduated from the University of Florida, so I’m a Florida Gator and I married a man who is an SSU, Florida State University Seminole fan. So Florida baby through and through. Bye guys, love you. Hey guys, this Leslie. The truck driver going to Nevada as usual every week. Thank you for everything you guys do. Totally love your biscuits. Never knew that in my 40s and early 50s, I would be a groupie for the first time in my life, but I totally am your groupie. Love you guys. Thank you for everything you do, cannot wait till mythical guys. I don’t care if I get six feet from you, 100 feet from you, it’ll be awesome to see you and to see the crew. Bye. To watch more “Ear Biscuits,” click on the playlist on the right. To watch the previous episode of “Ear Biscuits,” click on the playlist to the left. And don’t forget to click on the circular icon to subscribe. If you prefer to listen to this podcast, it’s available on all your favorite podcast platforms. Thanks for being your mythical best.