Welcome to “Ear Biscuits”. The podcast where two lifelong friends talk about sex for a long time. I’m Link. And I’m sex, I mean Rhett. This week at The Roundtable of Dim Lighting, we are continuing on with Sextember. Tember! It’s actually the last episode in Sextember and instead of getting professionals to give us solid, evidence-based information, now we’re turning back to us. Just the two guys who make this podcast. We’re also turning to you though. We asked you if you had a burning sex-related question. I don’t think that was a gonorrhea reference. Right, but well it could be. Or a hilarious sex-related story. We said we wanted to discuss it on “Ear Biscuits”. Discust it. Discust it. We said you call us at 1-888-EARPOD1. 1. You could email us, we made an address so it could be anonymous. We’re not gonna mention any names today and Jenna, if you’re willing, we want you to read the anonymous emails so that we could have the sense of it being a voicemail even though it’s just, we all know it’s just you. Happy, happy to read them for everyone yeah. Are you gonna? She’s happy to read them. Are you gonna do voices or you going to do Jenna voice? Jenna voice. Okay. Oh well, you could change your mind. We’ll see. I could change my mind. Feel free to, feel free to. You can change your mind. It’s up to you. We’ll see when we get to it. It’s up to you. Do we need any preambles? Of course just the warning of this is more specific and potentially explicit sexy, sexy, sex conversation. So if this isn’t for you or any other ears who may be in earshot. Skip it or put some earbuds in. I would say that I have seen, and appreciated a lot of the support that we’ve gotten for going back into Sextember again and talking about these things candidly. I got very little if any butt plug shaming thus far. Just a couple of jokes here and there maybe. Oh yeah? No shaming. Yeah. We’ve got a great herd of Mythical Beasts that they’re happy that we’re talking about sex again. I do think that they’re happy that we brought in some qualified professionals. So today is our happy ending. Exactly. Of this series. I, I’ll tell you what I haven’t received, any butt plugs. Well you know what? Emily was supposed to send us. Well shipping. I mean, she’s gonna send them. I mean it hasn’t been that long you know? Do I need to resort to my own ordering devices? Well first of all, yes you could do your own sex toy ordering. I know that. That is completely up to you. But I’m saying, I don’t want to be just inundated with butt plugs. If I’m gonna get them from two different angles. Well you can. You know, you kind of only want one angle at a time. If you get too many butt plugs, you can give them out for Christmas gifts. I’m sure. I never knew. I’m sure your extended family would appreciate that. That the butt plug thing would be such a cornerstone part of this Sextember. Well they make quite a stocking stuffer. Is that what you call it? Your stocking. Yeah, yeah, what is that? A turnip? A Mario. A Super Mario. A Mario-shaped turnip. Turnip, yeah, yeah. All right, let’s play one first. I mean, maybe they didn’t say their name. I guess we can bleep it but we’re not gonna disguise voices. Yeah yeah yeah. All right, let’s play the first voice for them. Hey Rhett and Link. This is in regards to your rated-R question that you posed on Twitter just today. Whatever today was. Yeah. My question to you is if you could suck your own joint, would you? Go. I was asked this question at my old job and they were very non-discriminating about who they asked it too. Pretty open about it so I was wondering if you guys would be that way too. Have a great one. So it was an interview question? They asked it. At this particular place of work. Indiscriminately asked this question at his former place of employment. Would you suck your own joint? I’m just imagining it’s a Subway. I don’t know why, I don’t. I mean I just, I just was imagining that question being asked openly by Sandwich Artists. While there’s a line of people waiting to order the extra mayo. Low fat mayo, don’t do the low fat mayo. Second of all, the term joint for a penis? I hadn’t heard it. Hadn’t heard it, but I don’t dislike it. Yeah, I. I knew immediately what he was talking about. Yeah, ’cause it was suck your own was the first, was the preamble to joint. Yeah, yeah yeah right. I don’t know. But I mean you could suck any joint. People try to lick their own elbow. Yeah, some people can successfully. Well I don’t know how to answer this other than I’ve tried. I mean, yeah. I’ve tried too. Who hasn’t tried? The people who haven’t. I mean, it kind of you know, once you discover masturbation it’s pretty much like, doesn’t that seem like the next level? Yeah it’s like I can, this hand is really well-equipped to do a lot of great things. It just dangles right down there next to it. But you’re like, what can this thing do? I’m pointing at my mouth. Not as flexible. Not a lot if you can’t reach it. I’m not as flexible as I used to be but I’ll just go on record and say that I believe, probably around age. I was, at my sexual peak and sexual limberness, it probably like 16. You know? And I do remember, it’s funny how I feel like I always end up saying something really self-disclosing and potentially embarrassing really early in these episodes. Yeah and then because you do, I don’t feel the need to say anything. Okay, well. Because I don’t want it to seem like I’m trying to outdo you or compare myself to you ’cause I think it’s important that your sexual experience is your own. It’s not about comparing it. So I think sometimes. No but when somebody asks you if you’ve sucked your own joint you’ve gotta answer. I said that I’ve tried and now you’re about to say something else but I just want to say. Okay. Maybe you’re a little disappointed that I haven’t had as much disclosure this month. No no no no no. As you have. No, I wasn’t saying it as opposed to you. I was just saying it’s just funny how it just ends up happening in these first questions. I did make, how can I say? I did at one point make tongue to tip contact. But it hurt really bad, like your back? Your back was hurting. But I was so uncomfortable that, and I mean, there was nothing else could happen. It was just like they touched in a moment of discovery and beauty. It’s kind. I’m sure it was not beautiful to look at. It’s kind of like those angel babies in the Sistine Chapel. Like their fingertips reaching out to each other. No, that’s God man. That’s the hand of God. And I don’t know in this scenario if the tongue or the dick is God. Oh I thought it was, I thought it was angel babies. I think it’s. Aren’t angel babies reaching out too? Well yeah, but one of the hands is God. Oh, and the other one’s a baby? I don’t know what the other hand is. Yeah. But one of them’s God’s hand. Yeah, well one of these in this analogously is our tongue. If you could suck your own. And our collective penis. If you could suck your own God’s hand? I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to get sacrilegious. Yeah, don’t do that. I wasn’t talking about your God. Okay? I was just talking about an artistic representation. I was talking about somebody else’s God. Of the tension of almost touching it. So anyway, tongue to tip contact is the best I ever did. Yeah, because you’re bent over so far. Especially with your back. I was thinking that maybe you had more success in this? I remember my back was bent over so far that like. You’re so flexible. It was hurting so bad that it started, you know it created a retreats scenario for my member. My joint. I was, hold on. As you might call it. I was on my back. Oh you were doing like a backwards roll? I was on my back and I was folding myself over. Well listen, around, I guess this was high school when that Tool album came out and when you opened it up. Yep. There was a picture and I swear. I don’t know, I hope this isn’t just something that I created in my head. That you could move it and it had that like, it was two images with the viewing angle thing so it would have an animation and it was a guy, pleasuring himself with his. Yeah, he was doing just this. And he was shirtless. Yeah. And his back was to the camera and he was like, I just thought he was waddling back and forth and then I realized that no, no no. This guy has achieved something that requires circus-level flexibility. I just gotta say. Can I try this? And then it hurt too bad. Right, if it was easy. If my penis was my thumb, I probably wouldn’t have a job you know what I’m saying? I’d be like a baby. I’d be like a baby. I mean, I’m just gonna tell you right now. If I could, I would. Come on. And if it was easy, I would be doing it all the time. If it was easy. And so I’m glad that it’s hard. If it was easy, everybody would be doing it. Right. It doesn’t apply to this, any less than any other scenario where you could use. Speaking of God there is a reason that she didn’t put the penis on the thumb. Because she knew that we would all be you know, sucking our thumbs all the time. I mean I actually think that’s what determines the length of your penis. You know, so it can. You know, if you think that like. What? Longer is better and maybe you’re self-conscious about the length of it, then you just say you know what? It’s a formula. If it was too long, you’d be in trouble. Right. If it was too long, you wouldn’t have a job. If it was too long, you wouldn’t have a job. Right. I mean, I, yeah. Is there anything else to say about this? I think we’ve said quite a bit. Let’s get a story here. I’m gonna click on this voicemail. Hey, this is Morgan Wolmack. I wanted to tell you about a sex-related story and I really don’t care if you keep it anonymous or not because everybody knows this at this point. Everyone that I know anyway. So when I was younger and I was dating my boyfriend, I skipped school and went over to his house and being the teenagers that we were, we ended up in the bedroom. Well his mom was not supposed to come home from work until like 5 p.m. but when we were in the middle of, yeah, I hear high heels clicking on the wooden floor outside of his door. His mom slammed open his door and started lecturing us, going off on us. Both of us are buck-ass naked in bed, freaking out. I’m crying. I had brought my iPod over to my boyfriend’s house, it was set on shuffle. While his mother was lecturing us about our horrible choices, the song “Pour Some Sugar on Me” by Def Leppard started playing on the iPod. Love it. And it was across the room. We could not turn it off. So she lectured us to the soundtrack of “Pour Some Sugar on Me”. My husband and I cut our wedding cake to that song. We’re still together all these years later, so. That’s my funny story. And I’ll never live it down. Wow. I still have friends to this day call me when that song’s on the radio just so I can hear it. Yeah. What? You guys have a good day, bye. Well we are now Morgan. Morgan, Morgan, Morgan. Listen, did Morgan say that they got married? Yes. Like, so there you go. Yeah yeah yeah yeah. Mom you were wrong. Slip inside, walk this way. Have sex in front of your mom hey hey! Burning in the. The one thing that she didn’t talk about was what happened when they were caught. Because I’ve never been caught having sex by anybody and I don’t really know what the plan is here but I, I think that if you’re, okay. Let’s just go, I’m gonna give you a scenario on what I think you should do. If you’re having sex with someone at their house, like they’re. And they live with their parents and their parents catch you having sex with their child, their daughter or son, whatever. Having. Yes, I’m tracking. Then you have to stop having sex. First of all, let’s just say you do not finish. Once you’re caught, you do not finish. I think that’s one rule but then I think, you don’t. Yeah. Don’t run out. I think you stand up and introduce yourself. I think you extend your hand. If you made your bed, lie in it, but you made your decision, stand up and shake. Sir, it’s nice to meet you. You know, you go and give a nice, firm handshake. Don’t jump out the window, don’t go into the closet. Because you are still making your first impression in that moment and it’s like, “Well you know what? “He snuck in here, he had sex with our daughter “but he gave me a nice firm handshake.” You know and there’s. I wouldn’t touch. I wouldn’t touch any parent. Fist bump. What about just a nice assertive wave. Like point and snap. Hey, just a little wave? Don’t touch, I don’t wanna be touched. Yeah, that’s true. I didn’t think about that. Yeah, no physical contact with the. I think a fist bump is okay. With the parental figure. Unless you’ve been fisting. And at that point. I would, hush yourself. Then it could be a real trouble. Hush. Listen, I’d be in that closet before, two clicks of the. You go in the closet they, you can’t. It’s an ostrich putting its head in the sand. You’re still in the closet. You just can’t go in the closet. Thank you. Yeah it just makes it awkward. I think you gotta just take it and be like. I mean at least you can then grab something out of the closet, put it on and come out. I do think putting maybe putting a, some sort of like. Whatever dress. In fact if you got a sheet. Quickly apply it like a toga and then you just look like a history buff. Oh we were, you know we were actually doing our Greek homework. Yeah that’s right, this is role play. Yeah it is. Mm-hmm. We were in the bath. The Roman bath. There’s no penetration. What do you mean there’s no penetration in the Roman bath? No no I’m saying, I’m going along with it. Oh. I’m saying you gotta say, you gotta tell the parents there’s no penetration. As I’ve established I’ve been seen through a window by hikers. But I’ve never been caught by someone I knew, I’ve almost been caught by a child who just came in. You gotta make sure that door is locked. Well put yourself in the shoes of a parent and let’s say you come home and you find one of your children having lovey time with a significant other. Yeah. What are you going to do in that moment? What would you do? I would not, well I’d try not to burst into doors and catch people, kids doing anything. True. So if. But let’s say accidentally, you knocked, they didn’t hear you. I would immediately. I would immediately leave. All right. Right. And I would say, “Let’s discuss this later.” Discuss this later. That’s the funny part of the story. Yeah I mean. Is that, you gotta. Obviously they’re probably not gonna finish after they’ve been caught. Mission accomplished, you stopped them from having sex, whatever. You close the door and then you just go and sit in the living room and just wait. I would take a jog probably. Well. Yeah. I would like. But you don’t lecture them in the moment. I’d probably, I do have a punching bag in my garage that Christy got years ago. When was the last time you punched that thing? I’ve never punched it. But I think this would be the perfect occasion. Yeah. So that’s where I would be. I would be out there just punching the daylights out of that thing. Okay. And just trying to figure out how I’m gonna keep my cool afterward. Well also. It’s a natural process, what was happening. You hope that it’s happening in a way that is responsible. Yeah. And I think that’s the way you want to have the conversation. Because it sounds like in this scenario, maybe Morgan’s parents didn’t know that she was having sex yet or whatever, you know. Yeah. But if you’re like, oh my kids are sexually active, in a relationship or whatever and you know that they’re having sex, then catching them having sex is kind of a, is different than this being your you know, realization that your kids are having sex. Right. It’s so difficult to decide to start talking openly about sex. Especially with your first child. You know, if you have multiple children. Because it, unless you’re in a really open household where you just discuss all these things and you make sex references all the time, even before your kid can understand what they’re talking about. So they never can remember a moment when you weren’t making some sort of sexual reference. Just kind of like oh I remember watching this sitcom for years and then I got to an age where I realized that they’ve been making sexual references the whole time. That’s kind of a nice way to just kind of make it part of what the, the communication climate in the home. But practically speaking, for a lot of people, including me. That never happened. So it’s like now that my kids are, I have older kids and younger kids, there was a different dynamic of you know, you’re referencing things and we’re making a decision to kind of like, the fact that sex exists and it is, and they have an opportunity to do it. It’s like we might as well. It’s counterproductive to never speak of it and then the younger siblings, they just kind of get, they kind of absorb it in a way that inoculates you, in a good way to it being something we can never talk about, it’s a taboo. But with that first child at least, I’m oversimplifying here. You have to make this decision and it’s hard to not do it too late. You know? And I think it’s a little bit, a little bit goes a long way and it’s better to start a little early than too late. It helps when your kids are begging you to tell them which is what happened with Locke. Yeah. Which we talked about last it but yeah, Morgan, sounds like it all worked out for you. Yeah, congrats on the marriage. Jenna, let’s get to an anonymous email. Would you like a question or story first? Let’s go question. Okay. Doesn’t like sex, how can I spice it up? Hello, long time fan, first time emailer. Okay, I have a sex-related question that might be TMI. Great. I’ve been with my husband for seven whole years and while I hate to admit it, our sex life is boring, sad, predictable. I even once told him to please don’t love me in the bedroom. Do you guys have suggestions how to spice it up or just how to initiate that uncomfortable conversation? P.S., we’re both huge fans. All the best, I ask my husband to love me everywhere but the bedroom. Please don’t love me in the bedroom is. First, stop saying that. Yeah. Step one. I guess what they’re getting at is you know, foreplay starts out of the bedroom. That’s not what I heard. What did you hear? They want to have sex somewhere else, like not in the bedroom? No I heard that they are not having a very active sex life. Well I heard that too. For whatever reason. And, but the thing is. Seven years. Is that it sounds like there is a desire to have a more active sex life and maybe they’re both on team let’s have more sex and let’s have a more satisfying sex life. I think one of the things that we learned in talking to the Dr. Emilys, Doctors Emily. Right. That’s when you say Attorneys General, that’s how you say it. Right. You know the Doctors Emily is that it’s, and I have a tendency to do this. I have a tendency to normalize my situation and my behavior and then sort of say that this is the way that it should be for other people and as I get older, I am learning to do that less and less and one of the things that they both hinted at was this idea there’s not a normal amount of sex or whatever. But if you are both on team let’s have more sex, that’s a good start right? Because that’s a place that you’re like, oh we’re not as satisfied as we would like to be. So, because you’ve gotta communicate it to some point where you can get on the same page and know what the next step is and then if you’re on that page, then okay well what does that look like? How do you spice it up, how do you have more sex? How do you have love me in the bedroom time? That’s kind of what I was hearing there. I, yeah. I think the best advice here is you know, get the “Come as You Are” book, read it together. Discuss it. I mean there’s even a workbook if you’re into that. I just think that that will go a long way. As I was reading it in preparation for our last conversation Christy reread it. She had already read it years ago and I never read it because as with a lot of books, she’s really into the nonfiction, self help, reference material-type stuff of whatever she’s into at the time. And she’ll always say, “I want you to read this.” And you know what? I never do it. I just say, “Just tell me about it.” Just tell me about it. Give me the blink version. Just give me the active sex version of it. Yeah yeah yeah, yeah. Like you read it, now just show me. Yeah, what do you want me to do? Visual aids, welcome. Yeah. Right? But reading it separately but then talking about it together was really beneficial and it, it even gets you more horny. Giving yourself a structure and especially when that is specifically designed to talk about sex and to talk about things. Right. That maybe you’re not informed about from a professional standpoint, I completely agree. That’s a great book but there’s also other books and I’m sure there might even be books that I don’t know about that are designed for, people in this exact situation. Just Google, “Book for couple that wants to have more sex.” Whatever, in fact I think that Emily has, Emily Morris, Dr. Emily Morris has a book about 200 things you can do tonight right? Yeah and then. Oh that’s a lot in one night. Yeah and then Dr. Nagoski is coming out with a new book as well. Right. About keeping things fun for longterm relationships. Yeah it’s a common thing. There’s so many resources out there, yeah. So don’t feel weird about it but just discuss it. And make it into a little happy project. Yeah play “Pour Some Sugar on Me”. See what happens when you do that in the bedroom. Or just pour some sugar on each other? And you know what? I’ve never done that. See what happens. Straight sugar. Straight sugar, all right. Voicemail. Hi Rhett and Link, love you guys so much. My name’s Sarah. I am just curious, I was such a fan of “Sex Biscuits” last year and I know Rhett and Link, both of you guys but I feel like I heard it more from Rhett, address the issue of vibrators in the bedroom and I am a young woman and I would love to use one in the bedroom and I’m just curious how you think a woman should approach that subject with their man? How to introduce that? You know? I do know. I feel like some men might be opposed to it. Right. But I think a woman might very much enjoy it, as I would too. But, yeah. Thank you so much if you answer this. Love you guys, have a great day. All right, we are gonna answer it. Thank you Sarah. So she’s gonna love us. You know what? I actually think that, my guess is that many fewer men than you would think are actually, like threatened by a vibrator. I think that most guys are turned on by it. Again, I’m speaking for most people at this point and maybe I’m making a mistake here. I’m just saying that as somebody who likes to think that I can get the job done and I’m proud of myself in that area. I don’t see a vibrator as a threat. I see as just a little sexy twist you know? And also you know, I’m into modern technology. Yeah. You know I mean, the fact that we live, what a time to be alive you know? That these things can exist. And sometimes they can really just get the job done. I think using a vibrator on your own can be a very viable way to figure out what works for you. And then if that’s why you want to bring it in there because it’s like, hey this can help us. This can help me when we’re together, you know? And then your partner can learn from it. I mean, it’s a great thing. I’m a fan of the vibrator being a part of the excursion. Oh yeah. Because it just helps. You know? And you can use them at the same time. You can use a vibrator which, or your partner, she can use a vibrator and then you’re still penetrating. So it’s a two for one. And if you’re worried about. It’s a two for one. If you’re worried about the, first of all, I just think the simplest way is just to be like, hey ask the question. How would you feel about it? And I think you might be surprised by the answer. Be like, I think that’s hot is what I think most guys would say but if you’re worried about that. Here’s one way you could do it. Take a, I’m holding a giant vibrator. Take a vibrator, take a toothbrush. Cut the head off of the toothbrush. Glue the toothbrush part to the vibrator and then just start using it as a toothbrush for, I’d say, four to six weeks. And he’ll be like, “That’s one hell of a vibrating toothbrush.” You be like, “Yeah it’s a new thing. “New tech from Colgate.” I don’t know, just throw a brand in these. It makes it seem legitimate. Oral B. And you hold it like it’s gonna be different than the. Oral D. And it’s gonna be different than those ones. But then he’ll, it’s like when you’re trying to get a dog to be accustomed to the crate that they’re eventually gonna be in. Yep. First thing you do is you just set it in the room. And then they’re like, “Okay, this thing’s not a threat. “Maybe I’ll get in there one day.” You’ve gotta slowly get a man, you have to treat a man like an animal sometimes. Yep. And you just, you let him know this thing’s not a threat. That giant pink toothbrush that she’s been enjoying for the past six weeks, it’s not a threat. Next thing you know, she’s got it in the bed and he’s like, “Oh, brushing your teeth early?” And no and then you just demonstrate what else you can do with it and I think he’ll go along with it. Yeah, if it’s not about the threat but it’s just about this feels weird, maybe you’re, maybe there’s a grounded version of that advice that actually works. There’s truth in what you’re saying. You find a way to ease into it. I don’t know exactly what that is but, because for us, we talked about last year. We both, you and I went and bought the same vibrator. No we both bought the same model of vibrator. The Green Worm. But we each had our own. We didn’t have to loan it out. No, you shouldn’t do that. You don’t share it. Have a signup sheet. And then remember I put the mask on Christy and then I broke it out and just started poking her around different places. Come up with a different verb man. I surprised her with it. In different, not just down there but. Yeah, under the arm. It just was like, it was just a fun little playful thing but I did spring it on her and I don’t quite recommend that but it was my idea and it was just like hey I got. And I did say I got something. Yeah, just one idea. I’m trying to develop some freaking advice here. Oh. I’m trying to land on something. Take a playful approach in a neutral setting where you can have a conversation about it and you can make it a little sexy. Just like hey I had this idea, what if, what if we used a vibrator next time we have sex? Just think about it. Just give it, just give him a beat. Just logging it. Just think about it. It’s just an idea. Something, just something to make more fun for both of us. Let’s make more fun together. You ever touched yourself with a vibrator? Yeah. It doesn’t quite do, it’s a little. No. It can be a little overwhelming but at times, you know? And it’s nice to have sex and have your partner control the vibrator and then it’s like, there’s a communication about like, what’s too much? If there’s a couple of things going on at once and then you, all right, let’s reduce it to one thing at once and then the other thing. And you get to a point where it’s like, ’cause talking about, I think it was mentioned over the last two episodes. Well masturbating in front of your partner. A mutual masturbation sesh. That seems, I mean when you just say it, that seems so weird but then. Really? It does, as an idea. As an abstract idea it’s like, “We’re gonna walk in this room “and then we’re gonna each pleasure ourselves “while we watch each other.” It’s like, but practically speaking it’s something that can just find its way into happening. And then you find like oh this is just another way that we can play together, even though we’re playing with ourselves. So it’s not all this stark, let’s decide to do this. It’s more of like let’s have an attitude of play and an openness to know what the, what are the, what are the toys that we can use here? What are the things we can try? And you just kind of keep it open ended and just make it an adventure and just see what happens and try certain things. Some things don’t work, you can kind of pull back. You can just take the batteries right out of it. And sometimes you’ll surprise yourself. When you’re in the heat of passion, the things that you say and the things that you do, it’s like that’s part of the fun of it is just like wow, there’s, I didn’t even know I had this in me you know? There’s like a release of not just sexual tension but also personality. Release your personality in the bedroom. Yeah. Here’s a story. So I have an embarrassing sex-related story. It was actually from when I lost my virginity. Now to most people this might sound like a dream but it in fact was not. I lost my virginity in a threesome. What? Yes. A threesome. Now, what made it so bad? Let me tell you, I really didn’t know what to with my hands. So while the two lovely people that I was also with were kind of going at it, I was kind of sitting there. I just started doing the chacha because I had no clue what else to do and they looked at me. I was very embarrassed to the point where things went soft. So, yeah that’s my sex, my sexy sexy, embarrassing story. Yeah. Oh my gosh. I had. What is? What does the cha cha actually look like? Is it like this? No. It’s footsteps. Sounds like he was standing up and. He was standing up. Yeah it’s like a little. Like forward and backward. Yeah forward and back kind of step. Wow, thanks for sharing. But I do believe virginity was lost, I don’t believe. I don’t believe. That virginity to the cha cha. I don’t personally believe in the loss of virginity. I don’t think there is a, we talked about this. That’s true. I don’t believe that you have something that you’re losing. Sex was had. For the first time. For the first time during a threesome. Wow. That’s bold. Yeah that’s bold. I mean you can again, in the heat of passion you can find yourself in interesting situations and it’s nice to be able to access some sort of game plan. The cha cha. Call it your personal cha cha. And it can’t be that, can’t be the awkward cha cha. I mean, I’ve never come anywhere close to having a threesome you know? As we firmly established. I’ve only had sex with one person and that’s Christy. Firmly. I don’t, you know it’s, man. Yeah I wouldn’t know exactly. I’m not. Get in where you fit in but that’s sometimes that’s not obvious. Now my assumption here is that the people who were the other two members of the threesome probably did not realize that this person had never had sex before. I’m not gonna give advice, much advice about threesomes because I don’t have any experience but it just feels to me like it would be a good guideline to be like, um, maybe that’s not the best way for someone to have sex for the first time in the context of a threesome. That’s just, you know. Especially if you’re not a good multitasker. That’s my uniformed opinion. It feels like chapter two at the earliest. Yeah, talk about jumping in at the deep end. Wow, that’s. You know what? I mean and again, a little sense of humor goes a long way. I think if you’re doing the cha cha and they’re kind of like, laughing. It’s just you just try and own it. Well you just try and own it. Well I have to assume that that, them looking at him doing the cha cha was the thing that they were like oh do you wanna? Would you like to be a part? Do you want us to dance as well or would you like to do what we’re doing? And that was probably what proceeded to the moment. Here’s another question. Hey Rhett and Link. This is Anonymous from Texas. So I have this question after listening to your sexpisode that you just had and coming from a similar background as y’all with the purity culture, Evangelical upbringing, I would be curious to hear an expert talk. Perhaps somebody that might know in embarrassment around stamina, lasting long and whatnot. So short of taking the little blue pill, I’m curious if y’all have experience with this or if you have any experts you know that could talk on this. Be blessed. Any experts in the room? Nope, but we can talk about stamina. I mean stamina is really built up as this thing of like, and I do feel this. Culturally, not in my specific bedroom. But culturally this pressure to you know, to go long and strong and when something can be as fun as sex, it’s like yeah you wanna, you don’t want it to be every time be over within a flash. Yeah. You wanna be able to draw out the experience and but, even speaking specifically about like, the old in and out. Like you get to the actual specific, the in and out of sex and at a certain point, you’d like for that particular action to be, to go on for awhile. But that’s difficult to do. The thrusting, the thrusting. The thrusting. The old cha cha. Is difficult to maintain. I mean, in my experience. You know, so you find yourself mixing things up. It’s like all right, I’m gonna do that for a little while and then I’m gonna do something different. So you know, we’re still very much engaged but it’s like, all right. So you switch gears but also, you switch practices right? Yeah, for sure. And you can go back and forth. So that’s one thing. Now when I started my anxiety medication, I read about with onboarding of a medication like that that you could have sexual side effects and that they, at a certain point, when your medication leveled out, it, that would level out too. And I did experience that. So at first it was. Well what? Yeah it was like, I’m, everything’s taking longer. It’s taking longer for me to get an erection and then it’s taking longer to reach climax. And there were a few times that I did find myself uncharacteristically in my head about well, hold on? Is this gonna, am I gonna be able to pull this off? Am I gonna be able to complete the task here? And yeah that, I could see how that would lead to a downward spiral and just, everything would fizzle out. But I also experienced this middle ground where I was able to go longer and so we had a different experience. Well actually this is interesting. Which was good. That this guy mentions the blue pill, Viagra or Cialis or whatever. And now, just to finish my trajectory. It did get to a point, I don’t know how long it took that it was kind of like, I’m back to how I was before I was on the medication. I don’t feel like. And that’s not necessarily. It was actually an effect. Okay, what I have heard from multiple sources is that, okay, so one of the reasons that we have this, this obsession with stamina is that a lot of us get our ideas about sex from porn and obviously the average dude in a porn can sit there and thrust with multiple women in multiple holes for like an hour and that is not what, and we don’t use the term normal but I’m gonna say, that is not normal for me. But what I have been told is that most of these guys doing porn and correct me if I’m wrong if you know the ins and outs of this is that these guys are mostly all on SSRIs and Viagra or Cialis. Is one of the ways that they’re able to maintain that ’cause I don’t necessarily think it’s always the case that, first of all I don’t think it’s bad. I think that, I think that this is a positive side effects of SSRIs is in my opinion, If it makes you last longer. As long as it doesn’t. As long as you don’t, you don’t lose the erection. Right, yeah it was a good experience. It kind of opened up, yeah, a different, different avenue. And I’m not prescribing this, I’m just saying that this is an interesting tidbit of like, if you combine the SSRI which you shouldn’t just take SSRIs for reasons other than to treat clinical depression, a diagnosed disorder from a psychiatrist but it’s an interesting thing that they’re doing both of those things in some cases where they’re giving themselves the ability to go for a long time without losing the erection because of the Cialis or the Viagra and maybe they’re not just supertroopers who can go for an hour but maybe there’s some medical assistance there. Two data points from me. I talked to my dad about this on “Dispatches From Myrtle Beach”. You know, came up in conversation because I was asking him. He said he’s used it and I was like, “Yeah, but why don’t you talk about the erection? “It lasts for like 12 hours.” He was like. It’s four hours. Is what the ad says. If your erection lasts for more than four hours call a doctor. So he’s, he had some success with it. Success. Oh I’ve never used it but I definitely don’t think that there is any shame in using it and I think that, when I’m talking about some sort of ED assistance kind of thing. Right. But definitely, if it, the moment that I’m like, I feel like I need some, I’m making the call. You can do it online. There’s no shame in that game, it’s like again, just like, what a time to be alive. I’ve met a friend for lunch. He was a friend of a friend and we were kind of getting to know each other. You actually don’t know this person and middle-aged guy and we were talking about vacation, we were talking about vacation sex or something and he was like, hey I’ll give you a. He’s older than us. I think he’s probably, he was in his 50s and he said, “You know what? “We’ll schedule a day and I’ll take one of the pills “and then we’ll just.” Just, he was talking about it like it was miraculous. Like he could just go and go and go and it was like, so he was giving me the inside scoop. He was like hey. My only fear about this, because it is a documented, it is documented that for some men, using that kind of assistance when you’re already healthy and you actually don’t need it in order to have successful sex or to maintain an erection can do something psychological where you become dependent on it. I’m sure plenty of people use it in the way that this guy’s describing but if it’s just like, oh now do I need? I would be worried and again it is documented that for some men, they feel like they become reliant on it in order to get it up and keep it up. So I’ve just thought to myself, because I’ve thought about this exact same thing because I’ve heard multiple people talk about this. Like hey, you’re doing. It’s anniversary weekend and you’ve got a hotel or whatever. Bring some Cialis along with you because one of them, I don’t know. One of them is like, hey take it now and you’ll be ready in 30 minutes and one of them is take it and you’ll be ready all day. I can’t remember which one is which so do you own research but the one that’s more acute, I’ve thought about that but the thing that’s kept me from it is this fear that oh it’ll be so good that then I’m gonna feel like I’m gonna become reliant on it and then you can have this psychological effect where you actually do have trouble because it’s so mental. I mean maintaining an erection is such a mental thing. Which again. Proceed with caution. Yeah and also you know, maintaining the stamina can be a mental thing. So one thing in addition to changing it up, like oh that feels too good, change it up. You can also just think about Richard Nixon you know? You just picture. Tricky Dick. You just picture someone that you’re not attracted to. In my case that would be Richard Nixon. Richard Nixon represents like, there’s nothing about Richard Nixon that I’m attracted to. I don’t want my wife to know that hey, you’re having a great time, I’m thinking about former President Richard Nixon but hey, whatever it takes to keep going. Well, I would just be afraid to find myself start to have a Nixon fetish. You don’t want to associate your wife with Richard Nixon? It hasn’t happened so far with me. All right, let’s hear another story here. Hi Rhett and Link. I’m gonna keep my name out of this because it’s pretty embarrassing but I have a pretty weird sex-related story. My ex that I was dating, unfortunately for about three years. One time we had just finished sorting the mail and we were cuddling and he decided that it would be funny to scoot up on the bed and pee directly on my face. I genuinely was so surprised in the moment and had absolutely no clue what was going on but yeah, we broke up a couple months after that. So, unfortunately, shouldn’t have been with him that long in the first place. But you know, hindsight is 20/20. Anyways, super excited for Sextember. Love you guys, bye. What the flying hell? I’m sorry this happened to you. I mean consent is paramount. I don’t, besides that. I’m just, it makes me angry and I don’t want to talk about this one. Besides that, it makes you angry? I mean I don’t, besides saying that I have nothing else to say. I mean obviously this was a big nono only because of the fact that she, because the consent thing. But let’s assume, let’s talk about peeing on people. While we’re here in the subject matter. I mean, because I want to talk about that a little bit. I’ll let you do that if you want to but it’s, you don’t have to. Yeah, I don’t have any experience with this. This isn’t something that I have, I’m just saying. Let’s say that this situation was. We’re talking about a golden shower here. I was, if the story. It does have a name. If the story was. I guess some people are into it and they consent to it. Well you call it, but you don’t. Okay, you said it was some people are into it. That sounded a little kink shamey to me. Some people are into everything. Yeah so yeah. I made it about consent. Yeah well, but I want to talk about this in general though because if this isn’t something that has presented it. Now again, we’ve established before that my wife squirts. I established that on a previous episode and we know that at least some of what’s happening during a squirt, it is urine. There’s other stuff in there too. It’s complex, not completely that well understood but I guess in that sense, I have been peed on in some regard but it doesn’t feel like that in the moment. It isn’t like hey. Right. “Pee on me, because I want you to pee on me.” Now, I’m not, if that’s what you want, that’s what you want. If that’s what you want, you gotta be on the same page and if you are, go for it. Go for it. But I don’t see this being something that I’m gonna request that I’m gonna get from Jessie for me to pee into her face. But you know what? If she asks me to, I’d be like, “All right, this feels weird “and but if you want me to try it.” The thing is is I feel like I might even be a little, I might get too gunshy in that situation. Sometimes it takes a lot. I can be next to somebody at an airport and there’s not a divider between the two urinals and I have trouble just letting it go. You know what I’m saying? I get a little stage fright. I think the psychology of this is part of the appeal for those who are into it you know? So being able to just let loose. You know? Obviously Link really wants to move on and now I’m getting pleasure in not letting him move on. Jenna. Read an email. Okay, just moving on. But I agree consent, consent yeah yeah. That’s a shitty person. For real. Yeah, yep. But yeah, if people like the peeing thing. Definitely go for it, have fun. But that’s not cool. Okay, got a story. Here’s a good one. The person did put their name in the email. Well let’s just leave it off. We’ll leave it anonymous okay. “Dear Messers Rhett and Link, “I humbly submit the following story for Sextember 2022. “It’s the story of my first time with a girl. “She and I met at my college dorm. “Our chemistry was strong, “so strong that we decided to take it to my dorm room. “We’re making out, it’s getting hot and heavy. “You know the Meat Loaf song, “‘Paradise by the Dashboard Light?’ “Yep, like that.” I don’t like that song. But yeah, okay. It was like that apparently, yeah. “As I’m about to sheath my penis in a condom.” Good. “Suddenly my dorm’s “fire alarm goes off.” Bad. “It was like the stop right there part “of the aforementioned song. “We both panic, grabbing whatever clothes were on hand. “We followed the rest of my entire college dorm outside “into the cold, pouring rain of early March. “We were both miserable for a minute “but then burst out laughing. “We’ve been together for 13 years “and we got married in April of 2020. “Thanks for listening.” Congratulations, another success story. Yeah. I wonder if he unsheathed it first. Okay, I feel bad about giving this advice. But like 99% of all college dorm room fire alarms are fake. You know what I’m saying? Don’t. I don’t want, listen. I don’t want you to get burned up in a fire and if I’m sorry if it happens to you but I’m just gonna go ahead and tell you right now. Most of the time there’s just some just pulling the fire alarm for a prank. Sure, sure take that risk. No I’m just saying if it were me. It’s on you Rhett. I’m not giving the advice. I’m just saying if it were me. First of all, I’m glad that it ended in success and now you’re married so it worked for you. But I’m just saying, put me in that situation, I’m in a college dorm. Not now, not 44-year-old Rhett but back in the day Rhett and I’m sheathing it up and I’m ready to go and then the alarm goes off. I think I’m gonna be like hey listen, statistically speaking this is probably not a real thing. Let’s not stay out in the cold. Let’s stay here and screw. That’s probably how I would’ve handled it. Let’s make it quick, this is exciting. We can actually do both at the same time. We could evacuate and. What do you mean by evacuate? Evacuate. Evacuate is like a term for pooping. Oh. Which again. Well just like. No judgment. Ejaculate. If that’s what you wanna do. We can evacuate and ejaculate. If the consent is involved and you want someone to poop on you. All right. During a fire alarm. Let’s get another voicemail. Then that is your right. Hey Rhett and Link. Big fan, Shaun here. Just curious, have you guys ever dealt with post-nut clarity? Because that’s rough, it’s a rough ride. Just immediately afterwards when you’re done doing your thing. You just sit, singularity and just kind of think about life. So yeah, just kind of curious on that. Kind of curious on how your post-nut clarity has changed over the years. So yeah, thanks guys. Love what you do, peace. Post-nut clarity is not something that I’ve ever heard named but my, the only way. Really? I relate to it in that like, I guess it’s akin to when you ejaculate, then it’s just like, there’s the trope of I’ve totally lost interest. Or it’s over. I can just roll over and go to sleep or whatever. No no this is a well-established phenomenon. It’s like going off a cliff. But being sharper mentally? No. I can definitely relate to jerking off and then being really, feeling really guilty about it. At a young age in the environment I grew up in. I think it’s more. What I’ve always understood this concept to be is just like, I was thinking with my other head and now I’m thinking once again with my brain head and usually, you hear this in the context of like, oh I was you know, having sex with somebody that I didn’t really want to or I was being driven by my sexual energy in a way that then, once it was released I was like how the hell did I get myself in this situation? Like regret. Yeah and then in the context of porn, if you can picture the quintessential teen who’s gone down a rabbit hole into some just you know, you’re watching 80 Russian elderly ladies have an orgy or something. You’re really way down the rabbit hole of porn. Okay. And then you think to yourself, “Why am I watching this and how have I got to this point?” Right after you masturbate. Okay. That’s how I’ve heard about it in. But I remember this as a teen. Especially as a teen in purity culture who thought that masturbation was wrong. And so then you would be like. Right. “Oh man, now I see how wrong this is “and I’m praying about “being forgiven.” Right it sucked. It was horrible. So that version of clarity which is horrible. But this isn’t much of a phenomenon as a middle-aged man at this point. So I don’t think I’ve been like harnessing my post-nut clarity. I think I’ve just been going to sleep. I mean I’m definitely gonna tell Christy that like sex makes me smarter for a limited time. Yep, right. So it’s like, that’s something I haven’t sold too much. It’s hard to talk yourself into making longterm financial decisions right after you have sex but apparently that would be a good idea. Let’s hear this story. Hey Rhett and Link, I had an encounter with a lovely woman I recently met and we hit it off great, had a few dates and we eventually ended up at my place and basically the mail was gonna be sorted and she paused and looked at me and specifically asked to not have her socks taken off at any point. I obviously agreed and whatever but I mean, what’s the deal with socks staying on during sexytime? Jenna, you’re having a reaction to this. I am. From a, my viewpoint of it is is that she, perhaps hasn’t had a pedicure in awhile or there’s like an ingrown toenail that she’s embarrassed about. I don’t see it as like. Yeah. There’s some practical reason that it. There’s a practical reason she wanted to keep her. It’s cold. Or just, or her feet get extremely cold and she doesn’t want to shock him with her freezing feet. Yeah. And the fact that she said it upfront, I don’t see a big deal with the socks thing, at all. No. I find it kind of sexy. I mean I find it sexy when a woman leaves her shoes on first of all. Knocking the boots. Because then it feels like an athletic event. It fells like we may be being scored by judges. You know what I’m saying? Like if you got on shoes and again, I mean, I think the sexiest thing and this is probably like some, unresolved misogyny is I love women in high heels. I’m working through that. But you know, there’s. Are you? There’s the classic. You sitting around working on? Your view of high heels? I’m trying to like naked ladies in high heels less with every day that passes. But it is, is it not a sexy thing and do you find it? Is a sexy thing when a naked lady in high heels? I just love socks man. I love stockings. But I do believe that. For me it’s not about the heels. It’s about the fabric up the calf. But I also think maybe I have a disposition, a bias towards this because my wife is 5’3 and I’m 6’7. Yeah. So heels actually, you know what? In my case, women wearing heels is all about equity. It’s all about us being closer to the same height. To your height. Closer. Why don’t you just bend over more? You see, I just made it a very progressive thing but here’s the thing. I kind of think that maybe wearing like some Air Jordans or something. Wearing some cross trainers, wearing something that makes you feel athletic. Listen, if there is a fire alarm, we’ll be the first ones out there. Both of you put those kinds of shoes on and maybe a headband and wristbands. I like that. Gloves even. Things that make you feel like you’re going to work. Doing something that matters. Anything that makes it different can be something that can make it exciting. A trucker hat. Yeah and especially if you’re getting to know your partner and they, you gotta acknowledge that this is a point of putting themselves out there. There’s a risk involved in saying, “Hey, I don’t wanna, don’t take my socks off.” Be like, “You know what? “I love your socks and I’m so glad “you don’t want to take them off.” I got more socks, we can double them up. You wanna put even, can I keep my socks on too? Yeah. It’s like, everything’s an opportunity to just get hornier you know? You ever worn just a belt? Yeah, no. Yeah, well I haven’t either but it just, it struck me as that might be cool. Hey, let’s just wear belts. We just have belts on and nothing else. Yeah. I mean, why not right? How do you have the best sex? Belt. Like a utility belt? It’s got all. A utility belt’s got all the little vibrators and stuff in there. Oh yeah. Pew pew pew pew pew. You can be like Btman up in there. So yeah, I mean you want to turn everything into a turn on and when somebody shares more of themself, that’s a turn on. Double down on it. Don’t question somebody’s, somebody’s request if it can be easily accommodated. I mean you don’t want to put up any barriers, you know what I’m saying? Jenna do you have another email? Yes, this story I have thoughts on. Here it goes. “Are you ready for a pathetic story? “My first boyfriend and I had breakup sex. “He lasted 30 wriggly seconds.” Wriggly. “Then he got up, farted “and asked if he could have my Diablo II account “since I didn’t like playing it anyway. “I said no, then he left “and we never saw each other again. “Believe in fairytales people.” Well were all three of these things related? I mean maybe they’re just all, it all just coincided. Short, amount of sex, a fart that was unanticipated and oh while I’m thinking about it, Diablo II. You know, we are grouping these things together at least in the context of the story as if they are related. So maybe we just go with that. Yeah, I just don’t know about tying up loose ends. Ending a sentence in an exclamation point but it’s a fart after sex. I just. That’s weird man. I mean it’s a little flagrant. It’s a little flagrant you know? Flagrant foul, don’t bring farts into the bedroom if you can help it. Or, unless you’re into it. Unless it’s asked for. Yeah, yeah. What are your thoughts? Well maybe, maybe, I think he probably should’ve asked about the Diablo II account before the sex and farting or if he was asking about it after, I think he should’ve put in a bit more effort into the sex part if he was going to ask this big thing. Right. Yeah, read the room man. Of his ex partner. Yeah, read the room. Right. But yeah, I think if that was my ex that I was having breakup sex with and that happened to me, I would think the appropriate response would be well, at least your farts last longer than you do. Oh. And then skipping, like that is so. Dang. That’s hard to remember though in the moment. That was good. In the moment you’re. If that happens to you. In the moment you’re probably. Damn. I think in the moment I’d just be kind of like, okay? It could be a text later. A text later, no, no. Breakup text. Immediately blocked and I’m like you know what? I wanna completely forget. At least your farts last longer than you do. This entire. I mean the whole not lasting a long time, for breakup sex, that’s not surprising. Because if you think about it. You taking up for this guy? No no no I’m saying the step one, the first step is I don’t think that that’s where he went wrong. Because what I’ll say is, I don’t have this experience because I’ve only had sex with one woman and we’ve never broken up. But if like my wife goes out of town, or I go out of town and you get back together. Sometimes that first reunion, you don’t last as long because you’re super excited right? Yeah. And so if you’ve broken up with somebody and you haven’t had sex in awhile, and you hadn’t done the old “Something About Mary” when you kind of get one out of the chamber before you get together which I do recommend. If you haven’t done that, you might only last 30 seconds but in that moment after you, this is where post-nut clarity really comes into play. If you have lasted 30 seconds and you’re like, I think, I would be like, “Oh I’m sorry you’re just so hot.” Or something like that you know? Yep. And then if I had to fart, I wouldn’t because I, at least at this age I still cannot fart when I don’t want to most of the time. Not everybody can. And I don’t play Diablo. I didn’t play Diablo I so. Nope. That, I just can’t. At that point, I just can’t relate at all. But I feel like the first step was you know, how you responded after that first slipup is where he started going wrong. After Jenna’s comeback, I got nothing to add. That was amazing. I think it just all feels. I feel like that great. Very intentional. He went in, knowing it was gonna be short. He was gonna do something gross. Yeah. And then he was gonna ask about some video game. Yeah I’m not a fan of this person. No, no no. Yeah yeah yeah. I think it’s good they broke up. Wow. We can have one last voicemail here. No. Ope that’s not it. Right down there. Hi Rhett and Link. I have a very funny story in response to your Sextember tweet about my poor friend when we were babies in college. We weren’t literal babies but we were very young people. 18 or 19 and she had . Sorry, it’s so funny. Never given a blowjob before and she had started dating this guy and they were about to go all the way and she was telling me all about and how she wanted to try to give him a blowjob that night and so the next day I asked her how it went. And she was like, “I don’t know, it was kind of weird. “I don’t think that he was super into it.” And I was very confused. I said, “What was he not into, what did you do?” Apparently my poor, sweet friend took the name blowjob very literally and so she you know, went down there and just was blowing cold air on his genitals. For a solid two or three minutes before he finally was like, “Yeah no, we’re not doing that any more. “Okay, we’re gonna go do other things.” And my poor, sweet angel friend was horrified when I told her what that, what actually a blowjob entailed. So it was pretty funny. This is why sex education is important. Yeah. Everybody and that’s all I have to say, bye. That’s why I call it a suckjob. You know? You just, let’s get it. Let’s just say what it is. Oh my gosh. Just, I mean was it? Makes a good story. Was there a distance there? Like blowing from a distance? I feel like. Total like, a total get on it and then blow it up like an inflatable tube. Yeah. If I was horny enough. For your pool. And I hadn’t had sex in long enough, I feel like you might be able to get me with just air. You know what I’m saying? If it was like a pneumatic thing? That would be a fun precursor but if you’re latching on and then you’re just, you’re blowing. I mean is it? There was no latching. Will that go to the urethra? Will that go up to the bladder? Oh you’re saying if. Can the bladder explode? If you blow it, that wasn’t what was happening in this scenario. This was blowing from a distance. Like actually blowing up a balloon. You don’t want to do that. Yeah, that can cause a lot of issues. I totally thought that. I am in that poor girl’s boat. I 100%. This was you? Yeah 100% thought that a blowjob meant you blow on a penis. From a distance? From a distance. But you don’t have to answer this question if you don’t want to. So I understand her being mortified. But did you, did you have a similar experience or do you just, this was a thought that you had? I had a similar experience. You don’t have to answer it Jenna, you don’t have to answer it. She already did. She had a similar experience. It’s okay. I’ve done a lot of embarrassing things, we’re good. We’re good. But yeah I, yeah. I blew on my boyfriend’s penis and I thought that’s what a blowjob was. And then how did that, then what? It was very awkward. Thank. We moved on quickly to something else. Right, yeah yeah yeah. Okay, okay. And then I learned later. Later. That that’s incorrect. He probably just thought you were creative. Like oh wow. I was creative. We’re just trying out. Literal. She’s kind of different. Something new and fun. She’s got a different take on things. Blowing around the area. I think I blew on his balls at one point too. Yeah right. Okay Jenna. Yeah yeah yeah. I mean. You can blow on anything you want to. So you can blow. Yeah. Yeah yeah yeah yeah. I can blow, yeah. Yeah yeah. It’s like yeah I’ve got breath. I’ve seen a birthday cake before. I’m mortified, yeah yeah. I know what to do here. Wow, wow wow wow. Wow wow wow wow. Sorry to my Jimbo. Oh God. Okay. But she is not alone. That. Yeah yeah yeah. That woman is not alone, been there. This concludes our. Well listen. Our Sextember. I mean the fact that this was a story from this woman and then you had the same experience, I mean this is not an uncommon thing. Why is it called a blowjob? Why even call it that? Like? I don’t know, it’s a misnomer. Really, I just don’t know. I know. I just don’t know why. Yeah. I can’t, I can’t. Of all the words that it could’ve been, that’s the phrase that won out. Right. I don’t know why. There’s a lot of sex terms that don’t make sense. Yeah. But this one is one that just feels like a real, real miss. I mean fellatio is just a really great name. That’s just a technical term. I don’t know why it would ever be called a blowjob. I guess because it’s like wow this is my, I’m, it’s explosive. I don’t know. I think you’re making a, your mouth looks like you might be blowing. Maybe the first time someone saw somebody doing it, it was like, “Ah I think she might be blowing “on his dick.” I mean I’m not the one there. Right, this is a third party analysis. It was like it was a doctor watching a video. It was like, she is now blowing on his penis. He seems to enjoy it, blowjob. She looks like she’s working, blowjob. Yeah. Yep. Why is it a job? Right. Exactly. Because no one wants to do it. Right. Right, right. That’s the other part I don’t like about it. Yeah yeah, yeah. It should be a suck favor. A lick fantasy. You know what I’m saying? It’s like yeah. It’s not just suck, you don’t wanna suck too hard either. I don’t want to call it a suck favor. Call it a. It’s like a Tootsie Pop. How many licks does it take? To get to the. But if you have to, I mean yeah. But don’t bite, yeah. I don’t know. Gently, gently. What’s a word for sucking on something with an intention to lick on it? Not just to suck on it. I think there’s probably a German word for it. I think, what about more of a sloppy savor? Savory. I don’t know. We know, we all know now. I don’t know. I think we’ll just go with blowjob. Let’s go with blowjob. We’ll go with blowjob and just take the funny stories as they come. Wow, I am, I am exhausted. I am totally just, I don’t have a recommendation. Well, we don’t have to have a recommendation. Because we talked to two incredibly insightful doctors. Yeah. Who have incredible resources. We talked about sex with Emily, the podcast. Their books. Follow them, go for it. That’s the. Dr. Emily Nagoski’s book, “Come As You Are”, which we’ve already rec’d one time and her book that’s coming out. Let’s do it again. So just, you know what? Check out their resources. We have to tell you multiple times. You have to hear something. You have to hear the Gospel 19 times before you make a decision Link. So you’re hearing this rec multiple times. Next week we’re going to be having a special listening party for a very special, is that it? Yeah. Is that it? That is what we’re doing next right? Yeah yeah yeah. A special listening party for a special, I can’t talk anymore. I told you. I am just, I am burnt to a sexual crisp. Yeah, so this coming week. For a special project. This coming week, a couple of things will happen. Actually, when you’re hearing this, my new single “Give A Damn” just came out this past Friday. If you’re listening to “Ear Biscuits” when it comes out and then on the 23rd, the whole album will come out and we’re gonna listen to the entire thing. Yes. Right here. And hear Link’s analysis of it. Yeah it’s like a, it’ll be a little listening party for us. Come next week. In the meantime, #EarBiscuits. Well I just will say. What, say it. You’ll get more out of next week’s podcast if you listen to the full album. Beforehand. Beforehand. So James and the Shame. Yeah. Good point. Human Overboard, 11 songs. It’s out there. It takes you less than 45 minutes or so to listen to the whole thing and then we’ll talk about it next week. In the meantime, we do want to hear your responses. #EarBiscuits and 1-888-EARPOD1. One. Talk it to me. Hi Rhett and Link it’s Amanda. I love listening to everything you guys do. Even as a lesbian woman having sex with only her wife. Sextember is something we both enjoy and gives us a lot of new information that sometimes we might want to try. So thank you so much for doing all that and thank you Jenna for adding a female body into the dimension there. Hi Rhett and Link, this is Trang. Longtime listener, first time “Ear Biscuits” participant. You guys mentioned that nobody has ever gotten sick from blue balls before and I just wanted to let you know that my boyfriend did make a visit to the ER for having what I like to call blue balls. Since he had free fluid in his balls that were really painful and he just rested for a couple days. Hey my name’s Jake. I’m from Philadelphia and I just wanted to thank you both, give some appreciation for mentioning asexuality in the latest episode of Sextember. I’m asexual and it’s something that you don’t hear about, ever. Really the only reason it took me a long time to figure out is because you don’t hear about it. So just even a small mention like that means a great deal and for you guys to treat it very legitimately and not like there’s something wrong with a person or like it’s a medical issue is, is, feels great. Hey guys, this is Summer and I just need to thank you all for Sextember. It has been something that I’ve been listening to with my husband and because of it, my husband and I have had the best sex of our lives. We were already open and talked about sex before but it’s just created even more conversation and I really think that you, you guys need to be thanked for it and so thanks again for Sextember. Love you guys, can’t wait to listen to the next episode. To watch more “Ear Biscuits”, click on the playlist on the right. To watch the previous episode of “Ear Biscuits” click on the playlist to the left. And don’t forget to click on the circular icon to subscribe. If you prefer to listen to this podcast, it’s available on all your favorite podcast platforms. Thanks for being your Mythical best.