Welcome to “Ear Biscuits,” the podcast where two lifelong friends talk about life for a long time. I’m Rhett. And I’m Link. This week at The Round Table of Dim Lighting, we gotta respond to some voicemails that have been sent our way. They’ve been building up. Yeah. There’s some disagreements with things that you said. And listen, I can take it. I can take it. I don’t know if there’s any disagreements for anything I’ve said, and. Well, we screen those for you, to protect your self-image. Thank you. Thank you for that. I just came from the dentist. Thanks for noticing. Oh, what, how deep did he go? There was some scraping- Back of the throat? but everything was fine. All the way back around the wisdom teeth. Just a cleaning. Yep. He tells me the same thing every time, you know. “Only 5% of the population still has their wisdom teeth. And you’re in the lucky minority.” You need to say, “You tell this to me 100% of the time that I come here.” Yeah, yeah. It makes me feel special. Like, I’m in the 95th percentile. Do you get a good report? I get a good report. No cavities. No, uh. But is he like, does he ask like skeptical questions? Like, “You flossing every day?” Like. No. Do we go to the same guy? The guy in the house? Do you go into like a bungalow to get your teeth cleaned? You would know it if you did. You have to drive through to the back and park, and then. No. I’m about to say, I don’t, it is a little bit of like a, Like a remodeled living room? a duplexey kind of thing, but. No, this is a, this is like a cottage. We used to go to the same dentist, and then we both left to go to new dentists. And I went to the dentist that my kids had been going to. Then we parted ways. Because I have a small mouth the size of a child. So. So it’s easy for them to kinda keep, they don’t have to do too much switching with the equipment and stuff. But listen to what happened to me, ’cause I was kind of embarrassed by this. Oh. I get the good report, you know, I get up, my teeth are nice and pearly, and I leave and I go to the checkout to schedule my next appointment, six months from now. And the woman behind the glass is, you know, ringing me out. Well, I got out my phone and we scheduled- I don’t know if that’s the proper term. We schedule the appointment for six months from now. And she says, “And you have an outstanding balance. Christy and Lando, their health insurance went through, but you still have to pay,” I don’t know, “50 something dollars.” And I was like, “Okay.” And then I reached down and I had my phone, and I pulled out my wallet and I sat it on the counter behind her and her like screen, and she wasn’t ready to take the card. I don’t really remember what happened. The next thing I remember. I have no idea what you’re about to say. It could go so many ways Yeah. at this juncture. Next thing I remember, I’m on my phone reading a message. Like, all these messages started coming in, and I’m reading a message and it’s a long message. You got it too. I’m like reading. I’m like, okay, business mode. I’m reading, I’m reading, I’m reading, I’m reading, I’m reading. And at a certain point, it just occurs to me that I’ve been standing here reading my phone for who knows how long. You got lost. You got lost. I just, I just, I was just standing there doing work on my phone. And then I like look up, and I look over the glass at the woman, and she’s faced completely away from me on another computer, just doing other work. And then I look over to the right, and there’s a sign right there that says, “Would you please not use your cell phone.” “Refrain from using your cell phone while” In the dentist office. “at the dentist office, in the line here.” And so apparently, this sign went up because I’m not the only one who gets on their phone. She could have put the sign up while you were doing your work though. We don’t know. Yeah. You don’t know how long you were under. In the 20 minutes that I was standing there, She’s like, I’m gonna put this sign up, Just. I’m gonna nail it to the wall. Looking at- I’m gonna turn around and start doing another job. Because I looked up, I was like, I kind of came to, and I was like, wow, I’ve been standing- I’m still here. I’ve been standing here a long time. And now she’s working on something else. And I’m just, then I’m just kind like looking at her, looking at the sign, looking at the back of her head now. Right. And I just feel like I didn’t have the right to say, Did you make like a clicking sound? “Um, excuse me, I’m ready whenever you are.” I didn’t say anything. You just walked out? I just stood there embarrassed. And then she finally turned around, and I picked up the card. The card was on the counter, but it was, and my wallet was on the counter, but it was behind her screen and I don’t think she could see it. So what I, in my defense, what I thought was I took the card out, and then she, I was waiting for her to, Grab it? to ask for it. Oh. To take it. And then when she didn’t, and I don’t know how I got on my phone, but there I was on my phone forever. And so she turned around, I held up the card. And she said, “Okay, thank you.” And then she. Finally. Yeah, she didn’t make eye contact with me. And I think she was kind of over me. Well, what else did you do? I signed the receipt and then. No, what else did you do to make her get over you before? I think that was it, just being on my phone for Okay. a really long time. I thought you were gonna say, well, before that, let me tell you what I did. I’d be “Oh, okay.” No, but I, so I was embarrassed that the sign was there. But she had adopted this thing. It’s like, Hey, if you’re gonna be on your phone working or whatever you’re gonna do, I’m just gonna go about the rest of my business. I’m not gonna sit here and wait for you to get off your phone. It’s a smart policy. So it’s kind of, I don’t know. It felt a little passive aggressive, but at least it wasn’t aggressive. It was mostly just passive aggressive. Excuse me. And I was embarrassed, but nobody really lost. There was nobody behind me in line. You got a little work done. I got a little work done, yes. Standing there right in front of someone else getting work done. Yeah. Yeah. So. I think you, job well done. Okay, good. But. Now, if there was somebody behind you, I felt guilty about it. I’d feel very different. I felt really stupid about it the whole way in. You know, it’s like, ’cause I don’t want to, obviously, they care about it. They put the signs up. That’s a strong, it’s a big move. It’s a big move to put the sign up. I don’t know if I’ve seen a, I don’t know my dentist has a sign. Well, when you pull out your phone to do anything, then you’re in this danger zone of getting sucked in for everything. And I pulled out my phone to do the scheduling, and I think that’s what happens to people. And she just got tired of it. She was like, you know what? Instead of sitting there waiting or glaring or like clearing my throat, or saying, “I’m ready when you are,” or “Excuse me,” or trying to be polite to someone who, in her opinion, is probably being rude, she just said, “You know what? I have some clarity here. I can just go about my work.” You might be on a list now though. I will say that. I know, it’s what they’re gonna, next time I go in there, there’s gonna be a picture of me like printed off. You know how they’ll do that for shoplifters? Yep. Have you seen this man? I’m the phone lifter. This man will work for 20 minutes, oblivious to the fact that this is not his office. I really, I really feel like an idiot. I’ve gotta go in, in two weeks, so. A very clean teeth idiot. I’ll be on the lookout to see if my dentist has a sign. Yeah, man. And if they don’t, I’ll ask ’em why. And I might have to, I might have to fake. What I’m gonna do, if they don’t have a sign, What you gonna do? is I’m gonna have my phone, and when they, when I’m checking out, I’m gonna take my wallet out, I’m gonna put it on the counter, and then I’m gonna get on my phone and I’m gonna wait to see what happens at my dentist. Good. And then if they say, “Excuse me, sir, sir,” first, I’m gonna ignore ’em because I have to let, Oh wow. I have to let it sit in a little bit. Set in. You’re trying to, you’re trying to motivate them to make a sign. Right. And then if they say, “Excuse me, sir,” I’ll be like, “I heard you the first time,” and I was just doing this to let you consider what it would be like if I had not done this on purpose as an illustration. What? Okay. And, You do that. At my best friend’s dentist, they have a sign that says, “Do not be on your phone back here,” or something probably worded better than that. And I think maybe y’all should consider that because it, how did that feel? Oh. Not great, right? Okay. Yeah. You’re doing them a big favor. Yeah, let me know how it goes. Okay, I’ll report back. I don’t get a great report, I wanna say, I’m not excited about going to the dentist because I went, you explain this, you’ve been to the dentist, you explain this. Very fresh. Yes. I tell ya. I am ashamed to say that for many, many years, no floss at all. And all, except for when I went to the dentist. Yeah. Also, for many, many years, I didn’t even brush my teeth at night. I brushed my teeth in the morning. And you know what? Every time I went to the dentist, they were like, “Great, no cavities.” And I was like, oh yeah, I’ve got like my dad’s teeth. Okay. Who he is, In a jar? He’s, yeah, he’s never had a cavity. I think he’s had one cavity, and he’s like, you know, 76 years old or whatever. And so then something changed, and it, I think it, and it was pre-pandemic. ‘Cause a lot of people who went back to the dentist after the pandemic had like buildup, you know, because they hadn’t had a professional cleaning in like a year and a half or something. I remember you, I remember you mentioning this. But I went. There was a turn for you. And they were like, “You, you’ve got a lot of buildup, and you need to come back every four months.” And so then I was like, Right. hold on. I was like, I’ve never been chastised at the dentist. And I’m like, okay. And so I became little dental boy, and I am fully committed. Is there a logo for that? I’m working on it. Tote bags? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I floss without fail every single night. What? Every single night. Shame. I brush my teeth with an electric toothbrush. Effective. Well, it’s not just shame. It’s the fact that they were like, you gotta come back every four months. And I would go back after four months, and they were like, “Some people just have a, Oh, what? Know better. like a chemistry in their saliva that causes more buildup.” Hmm. You got your dad’s teeth, but you got your mom’s saliva. And I was like, but how did the, I don’t, what, what switched? ‘Cause I like, I eat better. I take much better care of myself than I did 10 years ago. And then they’re like scaring me ’cause they’re like, “You know that you’re much more likely to have heart plaque if you have teeth plaque.” Like, if you have a plaque problem with your teeth, you’re more likely to have a plaque problem with your heart. You don’t need to tell somebody that. I’m a hypochondriac. Yeah, they’re messing with your brain, man. So anyway. So you’ve been all in on flossing for years now? I’d say since I went back to the dentist post-Covid. Yeah? So we’re probably talking like two, 18 months or something. What are the results? The results are, they’re like, “Well, I’m glad you’re coming every four months,” when I show up. And so this one thing. I know, but are they seeing an improvement? They’re, no, they’re not like, “Oh gosh, we need to do something different.” They’re just like, “You need to keep coming every four months.” And I’m like, man. So your flossing isn’t helping? No, I think that it would be worse if I wasn’t doing it. But I, this one I’m about to go to in two weeks. Maybe not. Maybe it’s not, maybe it’s pointless. Well, in two weeks, it’ll be, I missed the four month, so it’ll be like six months. You worried? When I look at my teeth, I’m like, I don’t see anything. It’s like, it’s like, like behind the teeth, you know? And I don’t know. When you’re done eating, do you like use your tongue to see if there’s any food in the back of your, behind your teeth? Sometimes I floss after I eat and brush after I eat because I’ve gotten so turned Oh. onto this particular issue. Don’t worry about it, man. But basically they’re like, they’re like, “Yeah, your gums are healthy, but this could cause, this could cause issues.” And I’m like, well, what are you, what am I supposed to do? Am I supposed to have a dentist on like, on retainer? Is that a pun? Is that a weird? It became a pun. It’s not really a pun. That actually started, I had a, you know, I had a permanent retainer in the back of my teeth, bottom teeth. And I was like, I don’t need this anymore. And I asked the previous dentist, two previous dentists, back when we were over on the other side of town. Okay. I was like, “Can we just take this out?” He was like, “Yeah, you can take it out. Your teeth will probably shift.” And look what happened to my bottom teeth. I shouldn’t have done it. But it was causing worse buildup. But now my teeth are crooked. Nobody sees your teeth, Rhett. I know, but if they see any, they see the bottom. Oh yeah, it’s fine. It’s fine. Yeah, I don’t really think about it. I’m just saying that like, It’s fine, dude. if you’ve got a retainer, You’re worrying too much. don’t take it out. You’re worrying too much. Yeah, but what if he’s talking about the heart stuff though. How’s the plaque getting from the teeth to the heart? He’s triggered your health anxiety. Well, I wasn’t thinking about it, and you started talking. I literally wasn’t gonna think about it So now I triggered it. until two weeks from now. Well, listen. And now you’re talking about the dentist and your sign. I should have just gotten on my phone for that whole thing. That would’ve been funny. I just realized you were talking. Oh, I’m doing work over here. We’re gonna listen to one of your voicemails. We do want to draw your attention to something that neither of us are currently wearing, but I’m gonna hold it. Okay. I have worn it. It’s very comfortable. It is the, what are we calling this, officially? This is the. Let’s talk about that color blocking sweatsuit. Sweatshirt hoodie. And where are the pants? Do you have the pants? The pants, the pants are color blocked like this. Yeah. The pants are like, each leg is a different color. Like one is this color and one is this color. And it’s, it’s got the embroidered, let’s talk about that on there. It’s very, very soft. On the britches. Very, very stylish. Three different greens. Get you some of that. How many greens can you have? Mythical.com. Get you some of that. Look at that. A slightly greener hood. “Ear Biscuits” is supported by Rosetta Stone. You know, there’s lots of really good reasons to learn, to nern? To nern a language? Would you like to learn English first? Yeah, exactly. Oh, that’s a little ironic. One of the reasons is, let’s say you’re reunited with a relative that you didn’t know, but they spoke another language. That is an interesting scenario that might happen to someone. You won’t be able to talk to ’em. 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That’s 50% off for unlimited access to 25 language courses for the rest of your life. Redeem your 50% off at rosettastone.com/ear today. “Ear Biscuits” is supported by Etsy. It’s the holiday season. So we want to talk to you about Etsy. If you’re like us, you’re on a mission to find handcrafted affordable gifts made by independent sellers. Well, whether you’re searching for custom home pieces, like cutting boards, linens, and throw pillows for your favorite holiday hosts. Oh yeah. You’re talking about us. You’re trying to get a gift from ’em? Yeah. Yeah. Or if you want personalized items like purses, necklaces, and seasonal jackets for your most stylish friends and family, Etsy has it. You know, Etsy is a great place to get something that you can’t get anywhere else. Like, I’ve got this wooden hand-cranked, I think it’s called an automaton. It’s that thing that makes like an animation. I’ve got in the creative house. Oh, you got that on Etsy? Yeah. It’s ’cause it’s like a handmade craft. That makes sense. But you can’t just go to the store and get it. I love that thing. Whether you want a handmade craft or you need something for that home chef in your life, like serveware and cookware. Or style pieces like rings, clutches, and seasonal jackets for that trend-setting special someone, Etsy has it. For all budgets and for any gifting mission. Are you new to Etsy? Well, use code holiday10 for 10% off your first purchase. That’s code holiday one zero. Maximum discount value of $50. Expires December 31st, 2023. See terms at etsy.com/terms. For handcrafted and affordable gifts for everyone on your list, Etsy has it. Shop etsy.com. All right, let’s hear this voicemail. Let’s get into it. Hi, this is Emily. I have a bone to pick with you guys. You guys say that pomegranates are not a good fruit, and that, and no one likes them. Those, that is my favorite fruit. The whole process is awesome. Even getting the seeds out. I just sit there and watch a video or a movie or you guys and just peel my pomegranate, and at the end of that video, I have an awesome treat to eat. That whole process is good. It’s like knitting. It’s mindless, it’s awesome. It’s, it’s relaxing. So you don’t go dissing pomegranates because pomegranates is my favorite fruit, and it is some people’s favorite fruit. So just saying, don’t go dissing pomegranates. Have a good day. Bye. I didn’t dis pomegranates. It was, it was just you. No, I think it was, I think it was you. It wasn’t me at all. If I recall correctly, you’re the one. It was only you. You’re the one who said that they were a horrible fruit. I’m the one who has ’em. It’s a, it’s a great fruit. Okay, let me think about this. So there you go. Emily. You’ve been set straight, so. You’re watching, you’re watching us. Yes. Or a movie. Uh huh. And you’re fiddling with your fruit. You’re fiddling with your pomegranate. Yeah. It’s great. It’s like knitting but the opposite. It’s like un-knitting a fruit. And then you have like a pile of deep red jewels to chew on that burst in your mouth. I will say once they’re, hey, listen, once the fruit has been presented, the fruit is magical. Oh, you will? As I said before. The fruit is magical. The process is so, it slows you down. It’s another way. That’s my problem. That’s the problem with it. It, you can do something with your hands That’s not your phone. Now, I’m totally on this, not putting my phone in my hand anymore. Where are you gonna put it? Like, don’t grab your phone. Grab a pomegranate. You’re gonna put it on a string that hangs off from a helmet? I’ll keep it in my pocket. How you gonna, how are you gonna see what’s on it? I’m not. I’m going to un-knit a pomegranate. I’m going to, I’m gonna get a hat. That’s a much better use of time. You need to work on your I’m gonna get a hat that has a flap dexterity, man. that has my phone that hangs behind my head. And when I wanna see what’s on my phone, I flip my head forward, and it falls in front of me, and I do my business, and then I flip it back so I never touch it. It could be on the brim. It’s all voice activated. Brim of a hat. Yeah. Yeah. That could all, it could fold down. And it could just flop. And you could fold down the screen. The flop phone. I think the reason that I don’t relate, It’s not a flip phone. you know, I respect you, Emily. I respect and, you know, everyone’s preferences are their preferences. I think maybe because I am not a, I don’t approach food with patience. The idea of working, now, what I will do, I will cook food. I will cook, I will put a lot of labor into preparing food, and there is a payoff. So maybe’s that’s how That’s the same thing. I would relate to this. But once the food is in hand. Mm-hmm. Oh, you don’t want to hold a fruit but not be able to eat it. The food is in mouth very quickly. You know, chocolate milk, I’m like the Maserati of milk drinkers, chocolate milk drinkers. Like, you know, zero to gone in 2.1 seconds. You know what I mean? Maserati milk. You cannot, you cannot put a glass of chocolate milk in front of me and expect me to savor it. And listen, if you like to savor it, great for you. I’m just saying, I don’t have that ability, right? I like the idea of using Maserati as a verb. Try that. I Maserati milk like it’s a Monday. Well, I said I was the Maserati of milk, But I like. not the milk Maserati. No, but say, but try on using it as a verb. I Maserati-ed that milk last night. That’s pretty great. I mean, that. Maybe I’m a Bugatti. Isn’t that even faster? I think the world’s fastest car is a Bugatti. What’s something that starts with a ch, with a ch, ch? Bugatti? What’s a ch, ch, Chevy. But a M? I’m the Chevy of chocolate milk. What’s something that starts with a ch? A Chevy? What’s a car that goes fast that starts with a ch sound? It’s pronounced Chevy. I know. I was trying to make it work. What you got? I got me a new Chevy. I got a new Chevy. Yeah, but they don’t. Sir, I think it’s pronounced Chevy. Well, it ain’t a S. It’s a CH. Last time I saw it, it was Chevy. I think anytime you’re gonna do something fast, you’re gonna find a fast car that starts with the same letter. So if it’s milk, you’re gonna Maserati that milk. But if it’s bread, you’re gonna Bugatti that bread. Okay. I was trying to find the chocolate part because I don’t drink milk real fast. Ah, I’m gonna Chevy that choc. Yeah, see, we were already there. That chocolate milk. I’m gonna chor-vette that, I’m gonna chor-vette that chocolate milk. I’m gonna Chevelle. I’m gonna Chevelle. I don’t know how fast a Chevelle is. I’m gonna ch, I’m gonna Chrysler. I’m gonna Chrysler that chocolate milk. I found it. That’s it. Chrysler. But it’s not, a Chrysler’s not fast. But it’s a CH. Yeah, I bet you can find it. It’s gotta be a sports car, like a. Somebody out there, somebody out out there has a really fast Chrysler. You, I think you have to start with the sports car. What is the fastest Chrysler in the world? Do they make Chrysler anymore? My dad was so big on Chrysler for so long. Hell, yeah, they make Chrysler. Yeah. So big. I mean, man. Chryslers are great if you’re of a certain age. They’re, but they’re a horribly made car. I mean we had, and Dodge was, you know, Dodge was the like dodgy offshoot of Chrysler. Okay. And so. You had those too. We had the Dodge Dynasty, the second Dodge Dynasty, and the Dodge Intrepid. Your dad was very consistent in not having cavities but also buying from the same dealership Coe’s Motor Company. for decades. Coe’s Motor Company, like over there next to where your aunt used to live. Oh yeah. And he had a relationship, you know, like it was just, he was his car guy. He always got used cars that had like, they were a couple years old, like couple, like one to two years off the model year that we were in. Okay. And. I remember that Dodge Intrepid, man. When that thing came out. That’s when I drove in college. What year was that? ’96. So your dad drove an Intrepid? Yeah. That was like, It was like a spaceship man for like basic Harnett County, That was a bad-ass sedan. Hey. That was a fast-looking car. It was spaceship-like. It was like a, it was like a 1997, 1998. No, 1995. It was a ’96 intrepid. Wasn’t it? Okay. Yeah. And ’cause it came out in ’95. A ’96 Intrepid, it’s like if Tesla had a ’96 car. That’s what an Intrepid’s like. I would love to see one right now. I could probably look one up on here. They’re all dead. They’re all off-market. Because is it, like, it looks so futuristic. I’m gonna Intrepid that in. What’s a food that starts with the sound, the in sound? Insalata. Insalata? I’m gonna Intrepid that insalata? Dude, it was so not as cool looking as I remember it. That was the one that you had right there. What, what? The gray one. Come over here at least. It was big. It’s, it’s. It almost gets into like Crown Vic sort of shaping, but like it stops short of a Crown Vic. Yeah, it’s not as great as I remember it. It looks like a bullet, man. Oh, the back, that’s the best part. You remember the back? It kind of looked like an electric car in the back. That’s what I’m saying. Yeah, man. Like decades before an electric car. I loved that car. The Intrepid. That’s a Dodge. The only electric car completely powered by gas. That’s, I think that was their selling point. So Emily. Welcome to the future. You know, listen, apology accepted. Is that, is that where we’re going with this? I just think it’s all about what you’re willing to do. I think that in your explanation, your defense of your like of pomegranates, you highlighted why I don’t like them. You gotta watch a movie to get into this fruit? You know what I’m saying? You gotta sit down and have another activity just to eat it? I want, It’s good to occupy your hands. I want a grape. You know what I’m saying? Open the fridge, pop it in your mouth. You’re done. You don’t even have to, you don’t even have to chew if you don’t want to. You need to work on your fine motor skills. Well, that’s true, but I can eat a dozen, I can eat three dozen grapes without chewing one of ’em. Why would you do that? Just to prove a point. Okay. I wouldn’t enjoy it at all. Right. Just to win? If you had 36, This pomegranate argument. if you had 36 completely un-chewed grapes You’re gonna swallow in your stomach. 36 grapes in order to win this pomegranate argument. Listen, here’s what we ought to do. I’m gonna swallow 36 whole grapes. And we’re gonna put a camera in my stomach. That’s definitely gonna make you win the argument. Put a camera in my stomach. Yeah. To do a, like a time-lapse video of what happens to whole grapes in a man’s stomach. Okay, so you’re gonna swallow 36 grapes and a camera? Yeah. To prove this point. The camera, you could probably, I bet you they got a camera you can swallow these days. Yeah, well it’s, yeah. I mean, a GoPro, I could probably swallow a GoPro if I had to. But I, there’s probably something half, If you had to. half the size. Surely, they got this in the medical field. Sure. I know they’ve got scopes they can put down there that are on a pole or something. Right. But I’m talking like a capsule camera. A camera with a one-way ticket. Yeah, and it’s got a little light. Or maybe it’s infrared. I don’t know. ‘Cause you got, my stomach does not have a light. I don’t know, man. I mean, I’m thinking of those hex bugs that our kids used to have. And you’d like turn it on, and it would like, it would vibrate, and it would make it kinda walk, and you could like make mazes for it. I bet you that’s what it is. You just, you just, I can swallow that. turn that thing on, and it’ll crawl right down your throat. Eh, eh, eh. Crawl right at your bunghole. You know it, you know it when it’s coming too. Reh, reh. You’d just be afraid that the battery might die. Oh, you’re gonna get it out. One way or another. Either way. It’s coming out. Let’s listen to another voicemail. Hi guys. I just listened to the podcast where you talked about, I don’t even, I don’t even remember. But what I did remember was Link talking about the loofah situation. He talked about it for approximately 10 seconds. I think we need to dive more into that. ‘Cause it was really validating about how you waste so much time in the shower trying to get all the suds out of the loofah. I didn’t even know a silicone loofah was a thing. And I wanna know more. So. Yes. If that could be a rec, that would be good. Let me know where to buy one. Let me know if it’s worth the money. Okay. Thanks. Love you guys. Bye. I’m so glad you brought this back up. I always am looking for an excuse to talk about like my shower habits. Yeah. There’s always another way to optimize something that you do every single day. And when I’m taking a shower, I do want you to know that every single day that I take a shower, every single moment I’m taking a shower, I am in complete embodiment of the shower. Like, I’m not, I don’t have shower thoughts except thoughts related to me taking a shower. Like, I am so in the moment when I’m taking a shower, like I am intensely. Your shower thoughts are literally shower thoughts. Yeah, I’m literally talking about, thinking about like, now I’m washing this part of my body. They’re thoughts about showering. Now I’m washing this part of my body, and now I’m doing this. And I bet you even though I’ve done this for 45 years, I can find a way to make it even better. A better shower. You think maybe, maybe you’re like a, you could start like a, some sort of shower religion. There doesn’t have to be a shower God, and you don’t have to be the shower God. It’s not a cult. Okay. But I’m saying that like. Definitely a lot of nudity involved. Think about it. Exactly. You’re naked. It’s something you do every single day. So it’s ritualistic. Yes. It involves like Touching yourself. touching yourself. Yeah. I just, it feels like it has a lot of the elements that we would need to start a cult if we were going to. It’s good health results, good mental health results. People gotta do it every day. You gotta shower. You don’t have to shower every single day. But it’s a modern convention. Some people say you shouldn’t shower every day. And you shouldn’t. Doctors, I saw something recently that said, doctors are saying you shouldn’t shower stuff that isn’t dirty. Like, it’s not good for your skin. Especially if you have like sensitive or dry skin. You shouldn’t just be washing everything on your body just because you’re taking another shower. And I took complete offense to this. Oh, okay. So this is an interesting bit of information. So it was counter to my. So, are you saying that your shower, regardless of circumstances, is the same every time? And this is a full head to toe wash? Yes. Yeah, see, I’ve already admitted that I don’t always wash my legs. But I would also tell you that if I’m relatively clean, and it’s the kind of thing that’s like, I could not shower and no one would know, I still shower, but I just make sure to wash the parts that would be the first to stink. The stinky parts. Yeah. You gotta wash your crotch, your ass, and your underarms. And you gotta wash your face because if you don’t wash your face, you’re gonna start, In that order. you’re gonna start getting, yeah, you’re gonna start getting some acne. Wash your feet, dude. Also do that. Yeah. Yes, do that. I, yeah, I should probably do that. I should probably add that to the must list. You’re washing sandals. Weird sandals. But I’ll say that it hasn’t been a problem. Well, you don’t know that. You’re just, your nose is too far from your feet. No, I smell my shoes. I smell my shoes. Okay, I know you do. I accept, I also smell your shoes. I accept that criticism. But what I’m saying is that like, what are you thinking about this? You got, the science is not on your side. I don’t care. Oh? Okay, well that’s good. I didn’t want to hear it. Because you’re starting, I heard it. you’re starting a religion. I forgot about it, right. You gotta ignore the science. Right. You start listening to the science, it’s gonna fall apart real fast. Just, just have faith in me. Yeah. There you go. I’m constantly improving my shower experience for the good of the gathering. You are welcome here. Thank you for asking. I saw an ad on TikTok for a Sud Scrub, a silicone scrubber. Can I see what this looks like? Yeah. It’s, it’s like a hexagonal, hand sized silicone rubber device. And there’s like scrubbing fins in like a swirling circular pattern on one side, and the other side is flat. And you put your, you put your hand through a strap, and then you scrub yourself with it. Now. Did you get the shower hook? I did not. Did you get the face scrubber? I did not click on the TikTok ad. I saw it, I scrolled, and then I found myself thinking about it the next day and then the next day and then the next day. And I just, every time I got in the shower, I was like, I started thinking about what if I had this silicone scrubber instead of my loofah, which is like one of those like plastic netting, scrunchie looking things that you just, you squirt this, you know how it works. You squirt the stuff on it, and you know how it works. And you, then you make suds, and you put it on, you know how it works. But the problem is when I’m, it’s kind, it’s almost a, it’s a good abrasion, and I’ve always liked that. But they say, well, you need to put it, you need to throw it away every six months, and you need to wash it in your dishwasher to get rid of the bacteria. So that’s in the back of my mind. But the main thing that put me over the edge to try this thing out, and again, Sud Scrub, not a sponsor, was that my loofah, when I was done using this loofah, the suds are great with a loofah. The sudding factor is very high. Suds are going everywhere, all on the glass walls in my shower, to the point that when I’m done showering, I have to take the nozzle and the last thing I have to do is I have to wash off the inside walls of my shower. How hard are you loofah-ing? To get, I’m just like. Hold on. How are you getting suds on the walls? I’ll put it to you this way. My watch is always monitoring my activity, and then, and so is my ring. And they both volunteer, oh, it looks like you worked out at this time. How do you want to categorize this workout? As a shower. And my phone and my ring, See, it’s not in the app. my watch think that when I shower I’m working out. Right. Yeah. Like literally. You gotta call the company. You gotta, we gotta call Oura ring and Apple Health and all of ’em, and be like, “Y’all need to add showering to your workout.” Showering. Yeah. I shower with reckless abandon, just like I sleep. So you’re saying that like, you’re rubbing so hard that suds. Suds are going everywhere. And I don’t want them streaking down the glass walls of my shower. So I don’t squeegee it, but I do rinse it off all the way. And then on top of that, I have to take my loofah, and I have to rinse it out under the water and get all the suds out because I think when the suds stay in it, it makes more of a environment for bacteria. And I don’t even know if that makes sense, but that’s just how I’ve thought about it. When it’s, when it’s sudsy, there’s like soap scum buildup, which might make a home for something. You’re like a character from like a Puritan novel where there’s a man who is like trying to wash his sin away every single night. And they like describe the scene of him in the bath. And it’s like, “He would vigorously rub his skin.” Like, you’re just like trying to get like, you know what I’m saying? It’s like, it’s so. I know it’s obsessive. It is so aggressive. And it’s so focused. It’s like. Oh gosh. This is why I don’t like to be on my phone. This is why I like to reduce stimuli, because anything that enters my life enters my brain in a way that like, it gets trapped in there, and it just bounces around. And I don’t have any more room because I shower every day, and I got all, I put a lot of energy into it, and I’m sitting there trying to get all the suds outta the loofah, just running water over it, squeezing, squeezing, filling it with water, squeezing three, four times every single day. And I’m getting annoyed. Yeah, it seems like a problem. And I’m like, I’m gonna try this Sud Scrub. That’s why I use my hands. This thing costs $30, y’all. That’s absolutely ridiculous, it seems. And then I started looking at knockoff brands on like the internet. Oh. You didn’t even get the Sud Scrub? A $9 loofah, $6 silicone loofah. I just read all about this though. This has got silver infused into it to keep it from the bacteria growing. Antimicrobial. Antibacterial. I got cold feet, and I was like, you know what? You care so much about this, splurge a little bit. Buy the $30 thing and see what it’s like. So I bought the Sud Scrub for $30, not a sponsor. And I started using it. And one thing I noticed is that not nearly as much lather Oh yeah. as with the plastic thing. So then I had to go out and I had to seek a high lather soap. Oh. Independently. So I had to, I had to find a body wash that’s really thick. What’s your, what was your soap of choice, and what is it now? It was, um, I can’t remember what it was before. It was something that smelled good, that was at Target. It had a red top on it. Like it had like an elephant as the logo. I don’t know. Can’t remember. But the new thing that I got is, and this makes me a little uncomfortable. Good. It’s a body wash called Thick. And the biggest word on the, I mean, the biggest word on the tube is Thick. It’s from Duke Cannon. Duke Cannon Thick. Because thick body wash makes more suds. Yes. It stays on the Sud Scrub longer and allows it to sud more. Now, I had to learn a few things. First of all, there’s a little hole in the middle of the Sud Scrub that invites a big dollop of body wash. Don’t put it there. Don’t put it there. Because it won’t, it won’t get scrambled up. The instructions say put it all, lather it all over in the fins. Yeah. And I have good results with that, but I wet my body, I have to turn my water off completely. If you want a really good sud with the silicone scrub, you gotta turn your water off completely. You gotta use a thick body wash. So there’s a moment every day in your bathroom where you turn the water off, and you’re standing in a, just a waterless shower, and you’re scrubbing so aggressively that there’s like suds, it’s like a cartoon scene, like going on. I can only imagine like when your wife, I’m sure she doesn’t walk in when you’re doing that. She tries not to. Tries not to. She’d rather see me shit, honestly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That’d be easier to take. But like you, I know you can probably hear it throughout the house, like shwoo, shwoo, shwoo, shwoo. And a lot of grunting. Like, what is happening up there? Grunting, reaching. I mean, it’s kind of a stretch routine too. Is he okay? To get everywhere. The results are good. And yeah, everything’s nice. I like it. I wish it had a little more suds than it actually does. But there’s no soap throw. I no longer have to hose. Oh, you got rid of the, it’s so thick. It’s not, yeah. It’s not thick enough to throw suds against the wall. Well, you should contact Thick and make sure they add that to their advertising campaign. No matter how aggressively you scrub with our soap, it won’t get on the walls of your shower. He’s too thick. He’s too thick. He’s too heavy. I’m a little bit, I’m a little bit. And I don’t have to rinse the Sud Scrub nearly as much. That seems to be worth it. So I feel like I have shaved at least 45 seconds off of my shower. Every second counts, man. At least 45 seconds. That’s pretty good, right? That’s almost one, well, how long is my shower usually? 13 minutes? Wow. As long as you’re quickie sex. Not to bring that up. I’m a little jealous of the thick soap though. I recommend it. ‘Cause I have to use, because of the sensitivity of my skin, I have to use a bar soap that is a brand that I don’t even know what it is. Like you can’t have anything in it that soap usually does. So it’s just like, just a bar of white, you know what I’m saying? Yeah. Like, it doesn’t smell like anything. It’s the kind of thing you’d like put in your fridge to collect odors. Okay. You know what I mean? It doesn’t, it just feels, I don’t know what it is. So does it lather? It lathers, it does lather as a soap should, but a bar soap, so you’re already a little bit, you know, you’re gonna fall behind in the lather department. Not necessarily. And because it doesn’t have some additives that would make it super soapy, Mm-hmm. Right. that would make it potentially, you know, mess up sensitive skin. It’s definitely like if you had, if you went from Thick to what I’m using, you would be, it would be a lot of trouble for you. You would not, I don’t know how well you would adjust. Not gonna happen. But it is remarkable for not causing me to break out, so. Not gonna happen. I wonder if I could take the Sud Scrub and just rub it onto the bar of soap. I don’t know. I understand. I understand the principle, but I don’t find myself experiencing a felt need for it. You know what I’m saying? It’s like, oh, if I go to like a Airbnb, and they, or a hotel, not a Airbnb, a hotel that’s got like, a fancy hotel where there’s like a fresh loofah. Oh. I’ll use it, ’cause I’m like, oh, this is, I think people use these. Let me see what this is about. Well, I mean, it exfoliates, exfolioates , and it keeps, like, if you get like bumps, like, I like on my shoulders and my back, like I’ll, you know, if I don’t really give attention, that’s why I scrubs so damn hard, honestly, is because I’m making sure that like on my shoulders and my mid back, I don’t get bumps. I mean, I would get an occasional, an occasional back zit. Now, it’s not a regular occurrence, but it does happen. But you have like the red dots on your. That’s not, it has nothing to do with. That’s a skin, that’s called, that is not, it’s not acne. It’s a. Well, I know it’s not acne. It’s a hair follicle problem. But I think that the scrub will help that. Well, this soap helps it significantly. Like when I use a regular soap, I think the silicone scrubber it exacerbates it. will help with it. You need one. Why don’t you try it? I think I might use sandpaper. Oh, it’s soft. It’s soft silicone. You just. I might try one. When you upgrade, when you upgrade, give me yours. Just get one, man. Splurge. At $30? Splurge on yourself. I don’t know about that. Just splurge. $30 on something I’m gonna rub on myself every day. There you go. You’re worth it, man. It’ll help with your rosacea. I’m open to it. Whatever it’s called. The thing, I don’t know. I have a, I think I have a subconscious resistance to anything that, oh, if I start doing this at my home, then I’m gonna have to have it with me when I travel. I think there’s a sub, and I’m just like, I’m like, I gotta, the one thing, the most self-pres thing that I do is I take that soap, that bar of soap, in a plastic covered thing. That’s the most self-pres thing that I do. It’s like I got a bar of soap that I carry around in this thing that I put into a hotel and open up. You deny yourself the creature comforts just so you don’t need them. And it’s, I mean, the only person that loses is you, but also me because then you turn it around on me as like a judgment. Like, whenever I was pulling out all the stuff from my bag, you were judging me, man. Yeah. Talking about. Because I was being, you know, I don’t like to necessarily, I’m glad you brought this up. My lip balm, the whole lip balm thing. I’m just like, I’m not accepting that. As this is an entertainment podcast. Well, typically, I mean, that’s the goal is to be entertaining. And usually my, the main thing that I’m trying to do on this podcast is just create a fun conversation. Okay. So my understanding when you break out your fanny pack is that you kind of know it’s a little bit funny and ridiculous, I do. and you want me to point it out. I do. But apparently, some people see. But then I wanna hold it against you. And some people see that as me just always criticizing things that you do. And so next time you break out something, I’m gonna be like, “Hey man, that’s a really good,” because I think this will be even more entertaining. If you break out something, instead of busting your balls, I’m gonna be like, I got it right here. “Oh, hey, how’s your fanny pack going?” I’m really, I really wish I had one. I still got my almonds. I have not eaten these almonds. Isn’t that entertaining? Are these almonds any good anymore? Yeah, it’s not. It’s not as entertaining. Yeah, I want you to bust my balls, but then I’m gonna hold it against you. Okay. Period. I mean, I’m not gonna let your entertaining criticism of my lip balm keep me from using lip balm. Well. Because my lips are better because of it. Here’s what I’ll say. And you need a loofah. And you need to treat yourself. But the thing is You deserve. I’m actually not, like, I’m not, I genuinely believe that if I were to take all that from you, you would suffer. But me not having it, I’m actually, I’m not, you don’t need to worry about me. I’m not suffering. When I do those things, I’m like, “Oh, I can see how somebody would be into this.” But when I don’t have ’em, I don’t find myself, if I was suffering, I would be, I get up every single morning and do a really annoying series of stretches for like 20 minutes every single day for the past decade. What’s annoying stretch look like? Honey, did you take out the trash? Ugh. Here’s the thing. No matter what you have to do that day, no matter where you have to go. Okay. No matter what your schedule is, having to get up and do 20 minutes of stretching, it is annoying. But the reason I do it is if I don’t do it, I won’t be comfortable. I am actually into comfort. All right. But I don’t find not having a fanny pack, an uncomfortable state of being. Okay. But next time you, you break out something that’s a little bit funny for the purpose of a funny bit that we’ll do on this entertainment podcast, I’m just gonna stop, and I’m just gonna encourage you. I’m gonna encourage you, and I’m gonna be supportive, because I don’t want this to be a funny podcast. I want this to just be two friends supporting each other. ‘Cause I think that maybe that will be, that will please some people. Yeah, let’s try that. Let’s try that. Let’s just, it’s just two guys encouraging one another because that really sells. I don’t, yeah, I don’t know how I feel about it, but I think I feel good about it. Okay. Hey man, you’re looking great today. Thank you. I love your gray shirt. You know, just two guys sitting around, I accept that. two guys just sitting around complimenting each other and encouraging them in all the choices that they make. Because. Gimme something, gimme something. We have another voicemail. Oh yeah. Hey. What about, what about saying something encouraging to me? Because if you don’t say it, I’ll be mad and I’ll be sad, and then all the people who are worried about me, will spend a lot of time worrying about me. If you don’t encourage me, then people are like, “Oh, what’s, why is he like, why doesn’t he encourage him?” This is funny. Does he not love him? You’re funny. The way you’re tapping into irony for humor is funny. I think he’s, I just think he’s so insecure that he has to make fun of other people because he’s insecure about himself. Ah, you got me. You nailed it. Sounds like you’re reading more comments than me. Sometimes I make a mistake and read. I’m just saying. Sometimes I do. Okay. All right. Great ideas. Great humor in that moment. Oh, thank you for that. Great humor there. Yeah, thank you for that. Let’s get this follow up to the sports conversation. Hey guys, I was just listening to the most recent podcast where you guys were talking about what is more of a primal experience than being really engaged in screaming and a sporting event. And I have to say, I think metal concerts are the way to go if you’re wanting to experience that in a non-sporting event because people really just like let themselves go, and it’s someone that’s not really into metal. But I recently went to my first metal concert. It was a really fun experience to see people, like you said, get in that like primal state and really just let loose and have fun. It’s super entertaining, and it’s definitely a safe place to kind of go a little wild. This makes sense to me. I’ve actually observed, Interesting. some, I feel like the people that I’ve known personally who have been really into metal and even people who’ve played metal, Yeah. tend to be some of the like most calm and well-adjusted people. And then when I like see them do their thing, and they’re, they look like they’re possessed by a demon, Yeah. I’m like, this is crazy. But then it’s like they get it all out. And so, you know, there was all the satanic panic thing, and all these parents are like, all these kids are like listening to this dark music. Yeah. And it’s gonna make them bad all the time. But I think that for a lot of kids, it’s like, yeah, I get to go, and I get to do something physical with like, and listen, I’m not a mosh guy. I mean, that whole, the whole idea is, Yeah. I don’t like to be, I don’t wanna be hit in the face. I don’t want that. Well, it’s interesting that, But I get it. I get the release. she described it as a safe space. And she was being introduced into it Until you get backhanded into the teeth. Well, I think it’s that no one there is like murderously demonic. They’re all there to enjoy the music, Maybe some of them. but they, so she was describing Maybe like a very, very small percentage a scenario where everybody is on this same page, which is, it’s just a cathartic release of energy. Yeah. Even, I guess, aggressive energy. Well, just think about it. When the right kind of song comes on, just like aarh. I mean, it reminds me of when we would, hot box is not the right word, ’cause that involves smoke, and there was no smoke or smoking involved in when we would. We’d close all the windows to the Dodge Intrepid or whatever car it was. Yeah, we would. We would turn up the heat to the max. Especially when there was four or five people in the car. During the peak of summer in North Carolina. Yeah. So we’re talking like it’s 90 degrees outside while there’s dark, turn the heat all the way up, play really intense music, and like head bang. Thrash. And for like 30 minutes all the way to Raleigh. We would get outta, we’d get outta the car Yeah. to go into the movie, and we’d be a sweaty mess. It’s like, where have these guys been? Like, we would get so sweaty, like sauna, like if you went into a sauna and just thrashed and head banged. It was like hot yoga. That’s what. That’s the LA equivalent. Yeah, that’s what it was. We invented hot yoga. Yeah. Hot car yoga. There was no yoga though. It was metal music. Boy, those were the days. And you feel like, you feel alive. You feel alive after that. Well, ’cause when you got out of the car, even though it still might be 90 degrees outside, then it felt cool. Yeah. It felt cool. It felt so cool to walk out to the crisp night air. And we felt cool. It was the only way to make North Carolina in July feel cool. Right. Was to hot box. Basically. In your car. I’m surprised we never had a name for it. If we would’ve actually named it something, we would’ve probably done it even more often. We’d probably still be doing it. Probably still be doing it. Sweat car. Eh. Car sweats? Car sauna? Sauna car? Hot vehicle. Hot vehicle. You gotta get the, it’s got heavy, heavy. Heavy sauna car. Heavy sauna car? We’ll work on it. Yeah. I, this totally makes sense to me though. Yeah. You get, you get, maybe, and listen. I assume there are people who don’t, like, they don’t have it. They don’t have something primal that has to get out and a scream that has to get out every once in a while. I guess it is sort of personality based, but. But even if you’re like stretching of a morning, like you do, like if you’re just like, if you’re just like, oh, you know, your body just tells you just to stretch, and then if you just let out just a gah! Just let it, we’ll let it, just let whatever’s in there out vocally. Oh! Yeah! It feels good! Where am I? Oh! Yeah! Am I inside or outside? Oh man. Hopefully, you’re like about to jump in a mountain stream or something. You know? Ah! I’m gonna start doing that. I’m gonna start having a just a. Are you gonna add this to the things you do? A vocalization? Yeah. Hey, I think that is a great idea. I can’t wait to, I would love to be there when you do it. But you need to vocalize when you’re stretching. I would really, you know what, Link? That idea to be really loud. Fill your lungs and just empty it. That idea to be louder than you already are with your scrubbing is a really great idea. And as your best friend, I just wanna say, you come up with so many great ideas, and all the little choices that you make in your life are really perfect for you. Yeah. Thank you, man. You know what? Thank you. And it’s just like every little weird thing. Thank you. No, no. Every little cool thing that you do. Yeah? It just makes me like you more. Oh yeah? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you for saying that. Like, so if you, if maybe what you could do is you can invite me over when you’re getting ready to make some primal noises, and I would sit and watch you and clap for you, and, but if you don’t wanna call me, if you want it to be your private time, you could just film yourself and send it to me. That would be cool. I’d like to see that. You’re that interested in it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And you send me these little pictures, Hearing about it wasn’t even enough. and little videos of you stretching, making noises. Maybe even some of you scrubbing yourself. And I’ll just look at it on my phone and I’ll clap. Ah! I’ll clap for you. I mean, there’s been times in therapy where I’ve, you know, he’ll be like breathe in, and then when you breathe out. Oh, you gotta enjoy that. You doing that kind of breathing? I’ve done that in therapy. I just sat there and like, if I feel like real nervous. Voluntarily, or did they, you you were asked to? He guided me to do it. Oh, okay. He called it Voo breathing. And then we’re sitting there, and it’s just like, have you, have you ever done that? A Voo breathe? I’ve done that. Yeah, a variation. Yeah. Mm-hmm. And it rattles your cavities, and it settles you. Like if you have like butterflies in your stomach and you just breathe in compassion and you breathe out judgment, and you’re like, vooooo, ahhh. And you know, you feel like, I feel like an, I mean, that’s animalistic. Yeah. It’s a release. It’s all a safe release. You just excrete it. Do you have to, do you have to spray compassion in the air first before you breathe it in? Or is it just already in the air? Like it’s a component of the air. It’s some oxygen, some nitrogen, some hydrogen, and a little bit of compassion. And if you just breathe good enough, you’ll get it. No, I believe in, It’s a concept. I believe in the breathing exercises. I fully support those. I’m just busting your balls, man. But it’s not funny, and no one likes it. It’s not entertaining. So I’ll stop doing it. So yeah. I’m just insecure, man. I listen, I’m just insecure. Whatever it is. I am kind of jealous of you’re breathing that hard with your therapy appointments. We breathe at the end of pretty much every therapy appointment. I know my therapy appointment is coming to an end when he says, “Shall we breathe together?” Oh. I know. The thing is, Oh. I know my therapist would be very, if I were to say, “Hey, let’s do some breathing,” he’d be, “Oh, I’ve been waiting for you to,” like, I know he’s a breather. You know what I’m saying? He’s a very breathy guy. Yeah, he doesn’t, he knows that you’re not. You’re not much into breathing. No, that’s not true. He knows I’m like, I’ve been in LA for a decade. You know what I mean? Like I’m. He’s waiting for you to bring it up? No, no. I’m just saying it hasn’t been a part of it. It’s a nice way to end a therapy session where it’s like, I mean, so much of my therapy is just, it’s about self-judgment. So much of it. So it’s nice to enter a meditative state of acceptance. Period. I mean, and so it’s just like a nice, it’s a nice liminal space before going out back into the rest of life. Little reset. Yeah. And it also makes me feel like, “Oh, wait, we’re done.” Probably makes you sleep better too. I did it. I did it. Speaking of heavy metal, this ties in nicely to Yes. a news item. I read this too. We’d like to explore. Now, you may have heard, I don’t think we talked about it on this podcast. I think we did. Yeah. Did we? Like this whole year, oh yeah, we talked about it when we talked about the fact that we saw orcas while we were diving. But this year, I think mostly, if not exclusively off the coast of Portugal, orcas, killer whales, Yeah. have been attacking boats, and they’ve been doing this, it is a sudden stark increase, a obviously coordinated attack. Like, first of all, we have no idea. We have no idea how intelligent these animals are, first of all, right? Their brains are larger than ours. I think we will be, one day, when we are able to tap in, we will be blown away with the level of intelligence. Different, a different kind of intelligence. Right, they don’t wear pants. But there’s definitely, in some ways, probably in certain types of intelligence, probably more intelligent. But set that aside for a moment. They have an ability to speak to one another in a relatively complex language. Sure. That they can coordinate things. Right? And so the theory Go for the rudder. has been that. Incapacitate the human vessel. That’s exactly how they sound too. This one, I think her name was White Gladis. Yeah. The theory is that White Gladis was disgruntled. Maybe she was hit by a ship or something like that, or a boat. And then she started doing this. And then Revenge. either it just caught on, like White Gladis is a natural leader, so whatever White Gladis does, they do. But it has like caught on regionally, and they’ve been attacking boats, so much so that people in this area are trying to come up with ways to combat it. And one of them is playing heavy metal music underwater. Yes. And these, so these sailors created a playlist called ‘Metal for Orcas.” I’m gonna read some of the titles here. It’s 37 minutes. I guess you got 37 minutes to like get rid of the orcas. “Fatal Invocation” is the opener. And then followed by “The Blood of Power” by Dying Fetus, which is quite a pleasant name for a band. Yep. “Exceptionally Sadistic” is track three. “Infinite Terror” Then “Stretched and Devoured.” No orca wants to be stretched and devoured. But going back to what we were just talking about a moment ago, listening to this playlist really may just, you could release all your aggression. It might foment the orcas’ aggression, I mean, “Dead, But Still Alive.” “Martyr.” “No Half Measures” from Ingested. “You in a band?” “Yeah. Ingested.” Well, you might be surprised to know, according to this Business Insider article, during an encounter one day in November, Rush, I guess is the sailor, and his crew tried out the musical trick on a gang of orcas. But the determined dolphins. Dolphins? I guess technically, I don’t know. The determined dolphins succeeded anyway, striking the boat’s rudders and disabling its steering. So that’s what they’ve been doing. They’ve been going for the rudder ’cause they know if they knock the rudder off, then they can’t keep doing their thing. Mm-hmm. But I just, it didn’t help in this one scenario. This is anecdotal, this is one thing. But. Might have made it worse. If the heavy metal, if the thing you don’t like is emitting a sound you don’t like, and you already have been doing something to this thing that you don’t like, Right. now, you’re just giving it more reason to not like it. I think. That adds up. I’m understanding why this is not working. And can you imagine what is, first of all, one of the things that has, I know, I can’t remember, somebody smart was talking to me about this. I don’t know who it was, and I’m paraphrasing. But essentially, the level of noise pollution that is in the ocean, because of all the stuff that we are doing and all these giant ships and stuff, It’s pretty annoying. you know, these whales are going for millions of years, just with no other sounds. I mean, there’s the sounds of the ocean, but they’re doing their thing and speaking to each other. Yeah. And now all of a sudden, there’s these sounds going, it’s like, oh wow, this freighter’s going by. Like none of our, we can’t talk to each other. You know, this is a problem. These things, whatever they are that showed up here in the last couple thousand years, they’re really causing a lot of problems out in the ocean. And maybe they’re finally like, “Okay, well, what are we gonna do about it, guys?” I think the long-term play here might be that they really get into heavy metal music. That would be, and then when they finally are able to speak to us, Right. they say, “We love Dying Fetus.” Right. They’re like very. And they’re like, “Oh, what is a dying fetus?” And everybody misinterprets it. Like they love, “Oh, they love Dying Fetus. Oh gosh. These orcas. They’re horrible. These orcas, they want all the fetuses to die. Just the band. They’re really pro-abortion. I really like Abdominal Putridity. “No, it’s just a metal band.” “It’s just a metal band, guys.” That’s what they’ll say. Yeah. I mean, there’s another band. We’ll be ready. When those whales start talking, we’ll be ready. It’s a, there’s a totally different band called Aborted. It’s like what? What? Yeah. They try to come up with something that’s like very divisive and death-related and “Oh yeah, that’s our sweet spot.” Well, you want a little darkness, a little darkness. Well, you know, what should we name our band? I was thinking Aborted. Well, there’s already a Dying Fetus. You know, it’s like, what are these conversations like? Probably what you just did. But again, these are the nicest people you’ve ever met? Is that what you’re saying? I think, well, again, I’m not speaking for Aborted or Dying Fetus. I would like to go deeper in the psychology of metal band names. I’m not speaking for them. Well, here, okay. If I just click on Extreme Metal and just read Sepulchral Curse, you know, Carnation, Cursed, Mean is Mortal. Okay, I like that one. Well, here’s the thing about the satanic panic from the eighties, right? Undead. So, did you have a whole bunch of people, and they’re doing it again now, Dead Space, like Lil Nas, you know, and like Doja Cat Right. are kind doing the same thing where it’s just like they do these things that kind of lean into the satanic panic, because they, Yeah. because it’s like, it gets the clicks, man. Here’s one. Devangelic. But the thing is, is that. Kneel Before Death. Let me see if I can continue to try to gather my thought here. They are doing these, there’s, most of the people involved in it. Like for instance, like the whole, the Church of Satan is, these people don’t, they don’t believe in Satan. Like they, it’s a, because in order to believe in Satan, you have to believe in the Christian framework in order to get Satan. You understand what I’m saying? So it’s not like, when I was a kid and they were telling me there’s Satan worshipers, I was like, I remember thinking one time, I was like, “Well, Satan is a concept that it was invented by like, you know, like Christian doctrine, right? And he’s like, everyone knows that he’s like the loser ultimately. So why are we all, why are we all on the loser’s team when we know that he’s like the bad guy, right? Mm-hmm. But that was, it’s not happening. Like those people are taking, it’s like a religious liberty movement. And so they use the basically this icon from Christian doctrine in order to identify themselves as an example of religious liberty. That’s what the whole point of the movement is. However, if you are the kind of person, ’cause there are some people out there who are like, I am gonna try to move towards the most, the darkest thing possible, Mm-hmm. and may actually believe that they’re worshiping some entity called Satan. They’re probably gonna listen to this kind of music as well. So you’re gonna get the, because this is like the darkest available music, so you’re gonna get those people. But I’m just saying that the mass, the vast majority of those people are just like, this is just a fun thing to listen to, to kind of get some aggression out, as a theory at least. Hmm. Okay. I’m not willing to like actually listen to this stuff. It’s just, it’s just, I don’t think it’s for me. You’re a little bit scared? I’m a little bit scared. I think you should play it while you shower. I’m a little scared of Nameless Mist. You know what I’m saying? Like, it would actually complete the full picture for me, not to give you advice or to try to critique your technique, ’cause I wouldn’t do that ’cause I’m your best friend, and I only encourage you in all your choices. But just, I would say maybe take it under advisement. Next time you’re in shower mode, shower goes off, scrubbing starts, blast some Dying Fetus in a, you don’t even have to have a waterproof speaker ’cause the water’s off at that point. Some Disguised Malignants perhaps? And just see how it feels. I mean, think about how much more you can exfoliate to Dying Fetus. Oh my gosh. You might rip a whole layer of skin off. But you won’t get back zits. Josh probably has a really great metal playlist for you all. Yeah, Josh is, yeah. Yeah. For showering. That’s where, that’s where he goes. He goes. Yeah. And I’ve been to a few metal concerts. They are fun. They are fun. Are, but you, are you on the outskirts of the thrashing? Usually, yes, ’cause I’ve only gone to like small metal shows like around LA, like it’s not like a full fledged concert, but, I mean, Oh. That sounds awkward. punk shows can be just as aggressive as metal shows as far as like mosh pits go. Yeah. But typically, I’ve been in mosh pits before and typically they’re very civil, and they’re always nice to me. But if you all tried to get in them, you’d be targets ’cause you’re so tall. Oh, but, and don’t even get me started with ska. I mean, who wants to, who wants to bring a trombone into that mix? Nobody. Yeah. Yeah, there’s a lot of, ska bands, man, that was a, that. And all that. That trend kind of died because you gotta, you carry that brass section around Too much overhead. and they can be difficult to deal with, those brass players. You got a rec, baby rec, baby, one, two, three, four. I recommended Dan McClellan before, his TikTok channel, and he’s a biblical scholar who makes actually very entertaining content because of just the way he breaks things down. And, but he has a podcast now. So if you’re the kind of person who was into that rec when I made it about his TikTok channel, you should check out his podcast “Data Over Dogma.” He does it with a friend, Dan, another Dan. Okay. And they basically, it’s essentially more of like a deeper dive and they have experts on talking about different particular issues. Again, it’s very like bible geek stuff, which is a niche that I am in. If you’re also in that, Proceed with caution. you will really like it if you like his TikToks. I wonder if they eat the noodles when they’re together. Dan Dan. Dan Dan. Okay. Two Dans. I was like, okay. Dan Dan noodle? That was good. That was good. Right? That was a really good joke, best friend. Thank you. It didn’t require any explanation. I just had to think about it for a while and then be told what it was, There you go. What the joke was. There you go. All right. Hey, we like getting your voicemails, especially when you’re setting us straight. Yeah. So, give us another call. 1-888- Earpod1. Earpod1. Or use hashtag earbiscuits. We’ll talk at you next week. Hey Rhett and Link, this is Pavri from Fort Collins, Colorado. I’ve called before. I love your podcast. I’m listening to your newest one, and I just wanna let you know, for Mountain Time, that means we’re on our own clock. So yes, mountain time is a time zone, but mountain time is kind of slang for, we just kind of go with it. Love ya. To watch more “Ear Biscuits,” click on the playlist on the right. To watch the previous episode of “Ear Biscuits,” click on the playlist to the left. And don’t forget to click on the circular icon to subscribe. If you prefer to listen to this podcast, it’s available on all your favorite podcast platforms. Thanks for being your mythical best.