This episode is sponsored by Auto Trader. See a car in that movie you just watched? Well, you can find it on Auto Trader. Shop millions of new and used cars on Auto Trader. Welcome to Ear Biscuits, the podcast where two lifelong friends talk about life for a long time. I’m Rhett. And I’m Link. This week at the round table of dim lighting, we’re going to talk wedding. wedding regrets and some other stuff because You sent in some voicemails and of course, we’re going to respond to them. Thank you for calling us You can do that one eight eight eight ear pod one And we will we’ll hear your voice Let’s hear let’s hear somebody’s voice. Yeah, let’s start Hey written link seer of the podcast I wanted to get y’all’s thoughts on something because my wedding is in six weeks and I really admire y’all’s marriages, they seem super strong. So what is one thing that you either wish you had done on your wedding day and didn’t or one thing that you’re really glad you did that made that day feel a little extra special? Thanks, love y’all. Love you, Sierra. Love you, Sierra. Congratulations. I’m so excited that you’re getting married. You’re asking the right questions to the wrong people. We got married so young. It’s been so long ago. 24 years and 23 years ago. We got married. We were different people. In some ways. And we were the same in some ways. The more you change, the more you say the same. But, does anything come to mind for you? Well, one of the things I’ve always said about my wedding day, that I would have done differently, um, is somehow, I got into the situation where, Me and Jesse were standing there, just having people come up to us. At the reception? Yeah, and we had 700 people at our wedding, so it was a very large wedding. Oh man, yeah, I mean, I had almost 500 at my wedding. We both had big ass weddings. Um, and Cause we invited like the towns. Yeah, it was. The whole town. And it was like, you know, there was a lot of people there. It was just anybody and everybody at the wedding. And a lot of people that I didn’t even know that like, even Jesse didn’t know. Just like Jesse’s family knew, or you know, it was just a lot of people. So you had a receiving line. Yeah, and so what ended up happening and I’ve always been a people pleaser but I was probably at like my height. of people pleasing when I was 23 years old when I got married. And so I felt an obligation to be like, I have to say, as long as there’s people coming up to us. So we didn’t eat, we didn’t get any food. We never like said, Oh, this is our day. This is about our relationship starting or our, you know, our marriage starting. Yeah. And I’m going to be like, obviously these days I would be like, okay. Alright guys, we’re gonna go sit down, and I would have no problem saying that, but just something about being, like, this young guy that didn’t know, who was afraid to say something. I just kinda just sat there and just, literally just let people come up, the whole time. We did, like, the formal parts of, like, the dance and the stuff, but then it was just getting in the limo and leaving, at the end of the night. Nobody jumped in and said, hey, you don’t need to do this. Right, because it was working. Everybody got to see you. It was basically like a funeral, like, awake. What do we call that? When you’re standing beside the, not the funeral service, but the um, the reception, whatever that is. People just, people file in and everybody, everybody one of the times gives their condolences. You did that for your wedding. You did a funeral thing at your wedding. But we definitely had the same vibe of, we were young and clueless and we didn’t, We didn’t have any peers. I was the first of our entire friend group, or any, any semblance of peers, to get married. Christy and I were. So, we were just like, like all of the wedding planning and everything was like, wow. How are you supposed to do this? It was very traditional because it was, well, there’s a way to do this. Yeah. You know, you get this many groomsmen bridesmaids, you do this thing, you have the, you have the rehearsal and you have the rehearsal dinner, and then you have, then the next morning you have the breakfast and then you’re supposed to go and. You’re not supposed to see the bride. I mean, that’s, I still like that one. That’s a good one where you don’t see your, your, your spouse before the, before the ceremony, if you’re doing like that type of ceremony with a reveal. Um, but we were very Southern traditional, like by the book at the, um, at the reception for us, everybody sat down. Well, everybody sat down at circular tables and it was at a different location. So yeah. We got, we had to get a church, like the, the biggest church in Kinston to hold everybody for the service. And then the reception was at a different place. Everybody had to get in their car and drive to a, like a, uh, a, a facility that does this type of stuff, right? So everybody drove. While we were taking pictures at the place. So then by the time we got there, everybody was seated at tables. And that was actually, that actually worked out for us because then we were able to go around to tables and see people and we were in charge of. How long we want to spend with anybody moving on versus them being in charge of how much time they’re gonna spend talking to us And we’re stationary. So yeah, that’s a better way that that I don’t know if that was planned or whatever But that’s just how it worked out for us Yeah, that was, yeah, I made a mistake. When you’re that young, you’re just kind of like, you’re looking for people to tell you what to do. And you got a wedding plan, and you got all these like, you know, so it’s like, you did your wedding, you did the Fuquay wedding, we did the Kenston wedding. But you kind of got backed into a corner there with the, with having to stand there. And to be clear, I was thinking about one thing, and I think that this is the effect. Do whatever you please, according to your own convictions and beliefs. Uh, I am not prescribing anything for you in this area. But, uh, I was a very committed evangelical Christian when I got engaged and got married. And so was Jesse. And we weren’t just, we didn’t just talk the talk, we walked the walk. And so we did not have sex. sexual intercourse with each other until the first night of our marriage. And as a person who had never had sexual intercourse with anyone other than one time Or a few times with my mattress, which I’ve talked about, uh, on Sex Timber, which I don’t believe counts. Um, I, no, that, you didn’t lose your virginity. I didn’t, I lost my virginity to a bed. Uh, I had sex with no people. Sorry, I’m pouring water here. And, uh, thanks for the sound effects. And, uh, I, uh, When you’re in that frame of mind, I’ll just be honest with you. It’s the only thing that I was thinking about. You’re a bit distracted. Yeah. I was like, I was in the exact same. I don’t care about the ceremony. I don’t care about, I don’t care about the food. I just don’t, I get to have sex. I’ve been thinking about this my entire life, and I finally get to do it. And, okay, and let me just say, there is something beautiful. There is a beautiful aspect to it, but there’s also a bit of a having put that act on such a pedestal of sacredness that comes from a particular worldview that I no longer subscribe to, nor agree with. Um, that kind of makes you see things a little bit different on that day. And I don’t, and I think it, I think you can really lose some perspective. And I think I did. Even I was in the same place. I was not like, like, um, just thinking about the consummation. But for me, there was like nerves associated with that. It was very much built up and, but like everything to me was built up. Like I was just like, I got sick the night before, not because I drank too much, which I might have, but I. I got this horrible headache. I was just like there’s a lot of anxiety because there’s so much this all all these perceived expectations It was it. Yeah, it was what you said that I was not Thinking of this being something for the two of us. It was something for the whole community Like, this was like a, this was a very public thing. It was a huge, it was a huge ceremony and I wanted everybody’s expectations to be met. And I, you know, I deferred to everybody else. And so I was kind of a bundle of nerves and so was Christy. So then practically speaking, when it comes to finally get like driving from Kenston up to Raleigh, we’re staying at this hotel before the next day we go, we immediately went on a honeymoon the next day. So like, To Jamaica, so everything was like back to back to back to back and so it got to the point where it was like wait, wait, wait, hold on in the in the middle of all of this like travel and becoming husband and wife and seeing Everybody that we know at once and going through this ceremony and oh feeling feeling horrible Physically, oh, we’re supposed to we get to have sex for the first time and it was just um You It was a lot, you know, and I mean, just we were if nothing else, but well, because of all that, by the time we got to the hotel, we were absolutely exhausted. Right? Yeah. It’s like you’re getting ready for the like Olympic trials, you know, and you just do something else. You go, you go hiking all day or something. It’s like, yeah, it’s just not, It just wasn’t, there was no self preservation in any of the acts. Now, did you lose your virginity at the Embassy Suites as well? Yeah, we might have been in the same room. So this is kind of freaky to think about this. We’ve never talked about this. So we had the same first girlfriend. We had the same first kiss, two different, and we both lost our virginity at the same hotel in the same bed, not different times, a year apart. I, there’s no way we can figure out if it was the same room. Well, why wouldn’t it have been? Well, because when you say like a hotel, but if you’re like, I want the honeymoon suite, you didn’t get the honeymoon suite. We didn’t have any money. What are you crazy? We got a room. I remember it. It was a room. There was a bathroom. There was a there was a mine. Mine was a little nicer. Well, NBC sweets, man. It’s all sweets. Oh, it’s like I was nice. What I’m saying is That’s not the point that we had sex in the same bed. Do you remember it being burgundy? I didn’t see anything other than what I wanted to see. But I do think this is an opportunity, if the NBC suites in Raleigh is still around, I kind of feel like, I don’t know, I kind of feel like we might need to do a little campaign. Rhett and Link both lost their virginity at this hotel. We did! Is there some, I feel like we need to do some sort of promotion. I don’t like the phrase lost our virginity because I didn’t, it wasn’t an accident. Yeah, well, and if you, you need to And I don’t even believe in virginity. It’s, uh, I think it’s a construct. Both Rhett and Link had sex for See, this is the problem. Rhett and Link had sex for the first time at the Embassy Suites in Raleigh. If we don’t get the verbiage right on this, then it could really backfire. I can’t believe it’s taken us this long to Rhett To really camp out on. Rhett lost, no okay, you don’t want it to be about virginity, I don’t, I’m just, it’s about marketing, I, we don’t have to be, it doesn’t have to be perfect here. Yeah, yeah, it’s a, colloquially we lost our virginity. Um, but not, but, And we can say it’s in the same, Rhett and Link each lost their virginity. And, but let’s say, At the Embassy Suites. It’s the same thing. Here at the Embassy Suites. It’s a t shirt that they sell in the lobby. I don’t know. We should talk to the people at the embassy suites. If you’re interested. I lost my virginity at the embassy suites. Yeah. So did Rhett and Link. So did Rhett and Link. Ah, that’s even better. I like that. There it is. That’s it. What do I not regret? What went well on the wedding day? Completely changing your hairstyle the night before. Um, Buzzing your head. So, I feel, I am, uh, I’m on the fence about this. So, I, first of all, in spite of the fact that I don’t like my face without a beard, I am glad I shaved my face before the wedding because it was a chin strap. Much, much better to have my, chinless face in the wedding photos than to have a chin strap. My thinking, which I still stand by, was I don’t want to have a hairstyle in my wedding photos because it won’t be timeless. I’ll just be like, Oh, it was, it was 2000. There he was. Why do you want it? Why do you want your wedding photo to be timeless? I don’t know. It was just a I didn’t wasn’t super calculated It was just like I probably will think that this looks stupid one day I will probably think that my hair looks stupid but a clean shaven face and a buzz cut There’s always men out there that have that look I just that’s why you did it. You did it to clean up Yeah, yeah, but you didn’t do it for timelessness. Did you? No, I did. I was like, this chin strap is a very specific look that you go look through history. You don’t see the chin strap very often for good reason. In fairness, I do believe that we both, yes, we both on your wedding day. Yes. Yeah. We both changed our hair, our facial hair a lot. At that time. So it’s not like you had a signature look, which was a chin strap. You had no reason to have a goatee. You don’t need facial hair for any reason. I had a, but I, I did have a goatee. Right. But I think you, I, I think you should have shave in your face for, for your wedding. And I had Christy think I had it for the most part. I had it always. But you didn’t have the chinstrap always. Sometimes you just have a goatee too. Goatees. Were in goatees. Were in, I regret the way I look without facial. I’m happy without, without facial hair. That’s a, that’s a, that’s a constant regret. It’s not really a regret. It’s just an unfortunate circumstance. I can’t regret it. I didn’t make the choice. Maybe I, maybe I was born pre mewing, you know, I didn’t get to mew during, I never got into my mew streak in my teens. And so that I kind of screwed myself, but, um, I, uh, I couldn’t grow a beard at the time, it didn’t connect. If I had a good beard at the time, I would have obviously had a beard. Uh, no one had a beard. If I was growing the beard that I could, I was growing all the beard that I could. Yeah, but that was also a style. That’s not even what you were going to say. What were you going to say that you regret? The thing I don’t regret. Don’t regret. Um, is the band, which I chose, uh, Liquid Pleasure. Liquid Pleasure. So I may have been a virgin on my wedding day. But I was smart enough to pick Liquid Pleasure as our band, and they were excellent. They were great. Jesse, I wasn’t in charge of much. And also, I don’t like being in charge of things like that. It’s like, I don’t, I’m not, I don’t insert myself when people are planning events, I’m just like, You know, I like to eat and I’ll pick the band, whatever. And I’d like to have sex afterward. And that’s really the main thing I was interested in. Um, liquid pleasure, pleasure killed it. They were great. I mean, that’s fancy schmancy when you had a wedding band, live band. That was wild. I think we’ve talked about this before, but you know, my father in law. Uh, it was, well, the reason the wedding was so big is because of how many people they, you know, Jesse’s family knew. Um, and I think, I think that he invited all his employees. I think that’s one of the reasons there was like, maybe like an extra like 200 people at the thing at the time. He probably invited everybody who worked for him. Which is a choice. Yeah, but it makes for a really big Really big event and justifies things like having liquid pleasure. I mean they were paying for it. I was like, yeah, they He he looked into he wanted to because you know, he was a big Lionel fan as well. We were independently big Lionel Richie fans. There was serious talk of Lionel Richie. Could you imagine if Lionel Richie had played at my wedding? But Lionel What was the, what was the quote? Uh, at that time, so this is 23 years ago, it was 100, 000 to get Lionel to play at your wedding. And I think that he’s probably a lot more expensive than that now. I mean, just with inflation, but also just like, you know, he’s That would have been wild. So that was a no go. But, that would have been crazy. Like, that would, if he had played at my wedding, that would be, I would, and when you talk about my wedding, the only thing I would talk about, I wouldn’t even talk about sex, I would just talk about Lionel. Like, I don’t even know if I could have lost my virginity on the same day that I met Lionel Richie. I think we gotta wait till tomorrow. It’s just too much for me to take. So I’m glad that Lionel didn’t play, but Liquid Pleasure, The Choice of Band, I got that right. I wonder how they came up with that name, Liquid Pleasure. Liquid Pleasure. Wait, are you, is that, that’s swimming, right? That’s not having a good, that’s like, feeling good in a pool? I think it could be, you can interpret it how you want. I mean, you go to a pool, sure, that’s Liquid Pleasure. You’re gonna have some Liquid Pleasure. If you’re really thirsty? I mean. I think it’s one of those things, well obviously a good drink is liquid pleasure. I think losing your virginity could be a little liquid pleasure. I also don’t necessarily think that liquid means the literal liquid as much as it means like liquidity, like the smooth liquidity of a situation. So, we’ve got like, this is liquid pleasure. This pleasure could go anywhere. This is pleasure that assumes the shape of the space that it fills. Oh yes. You know what I mean? Uh huh, uh huh. Uh huh. That’s how I interpret it. As a band, that’s what they do. Oh, what do you need? Perfectly fit the space. They seep into your cracks on your wedding day. Let’s fill it up. We should have an event at the Embassy Suites. Yeah. Yep. It’s a celebration of us losing our virginity. Yeah. At Embassy Suites, and it is played by Liquid. I mean, are they still doing their Now, I will point out that that a celebration of us losing our virginity is also our wedding anniversaries. So if we start celebrating our wedding anniversaries as when we lost our virginity, it’s it’s kind of like, it kind of kicks the relational aspect to the curb a bit. Okay, Link. They’re still active. Liquid pleasure band.com. Liquid pleasure. The more you drink, the better we sound. . . Oh my gosh. They’re still doing it. Let me see the more you, well, that, I guess that’s their meaning. East Coast Liquid Pleasure is getting drunk. Okay. Okay. Book Liquid Pleasure. And I don’t know if there’s, and there’s a lot of ’em too. Oh, they’re with Obama. Obama’s in the band. So they did something with Obama. Now they do not have a picture of me. Mm-Hmm. They got Cornell West. I don’t know who that is. Um, they got Bush, you got George Foreman, Howie, Howie, what’s his name? The football player. Well, there you have it. We’re sending some, um, I mean, the show’s not over. It’s just that the, um, the fact that liquid pleasure. Now we know that. Yeah, let’s reach out to the embassy suite. There’s no upcoming events right now. Lose your virginity here. Okay, uh, we’ve got another voicemail. Hit it. Yo, Lincoln Ritt. Figured I’d put Link’s name first. He deserves it today. Um, I have an irrational fear of flying. Um, my question is, do you have an irrational fear? And also, what advice do you have for me? Okay, thanks, bye. And what advice do you have for me? Do you have an irrational fear? And what advice do you have for him? Hmm. Well, first of all, uh, my wife feels your pain. She, she has a fear of flying. Um, she’s, she’s doing the work and she’s still flying, but it’s not easy. And sometimes they’re harder than others. Hopefully she’s not reading the news. Oh yeah. She always, that’s one thing you don’t need to do is yeah. Read about plane crashes. Don’t do that. Like don’t watch like the Boeing. Documentary? Or, uh, there’s probably a documentary, I haven’t seen it. But, like, don’t watch them question the Boeing CEO on Capitol Hill. Which I, like, made the mistake of doing. Oh no. That is not my, uh, fear. I will say, I think the first step that I think is great is to categorize your fear of flying as irrational. Because it isn’t rational. Because if you, because even with the news of like, okay, yeah, sometimes planes fall out of the sky. But like, if you get into a car and drive somewhere on a daily basis or semi regular basis, you’re taking a higher risk than getting on a plane, right? So statistically, if we’re like following like a rational process, you do know that. You really don’t have anything to be afraid of. But I, trust me, I’m going to share some irrational fears. So I know, just recognizing that it’s not rational, It’s helpful for me, personally. Plus the seat is flotation. Right, yeah. There’s a, there, and you can, you got the oxygen mask. I mean, what can, what can go wrong? Your seat is flotation, right? You gonna hit, you gonna hit us with one? Well, my, my irrational, I’m sure I have more than one, but one of my irrational fears Is travel related, but it’s not the plane or the flight. It’s everything around it, right? Um, and this is, this is kind of funny because I’m I’ve witnessed this. I’m leaving on a jet plane on Saturday. And, um, again, the flight, being over the ocean, whatever, like I don’t I have almost negative fear when I’m in a plane about the physical circumstances, but the layover, okay? Okay, they can, missing your flight. So, and I have a layover in Paris. Oh. And when we first set this flight up, I was looking at the itinerary, and I was like, we got a layover in Paris that’s an hour and ten minutes. Okay, okay, okay, okay, and so I told Sarah who booked the flights for us, I was like, I don’t, I can’t handle that, right? Because If we have a one hour and ten minute layover, do you know the only thing that I’m going to be thinking about for the entire week leading up to my flight? Do you know the only thing I’m going to be thinking about when I’m supposed to be sleeping on that red eye flight, the overnight flight from L. A. to Paris? I’m going to be thinking about that layover that’s an hour and ten minutes. Okay, whoa. I’m just telling you, that’s what I’m going to be thinking about. Don’t lash out. And it like, it gets me ner like. I’m getting sweaty thinking about it right now. You didn’t change it? Oh, I did change it, yes. And you’re still getting sweaty? Uh, I’m getting sweaty thinking about that at one point it was only an hour and ten minutes. Okay, that doesn’t seem irrational. Um, well But the physical response is Maybe not commensurate. I now have a three and a half hour layover, I think, is what it is. Which, based on research, is adequate. If something goes wrong with the first flight, gets delayed, whatever. I had no wiggle room, and But I will contrast, like, if that was me, and I was like, yeah, an hour and ten minutes, I’d be like, Oh, that’s great. Super efficient. Because I assume that the best is going to happen. And this is a, this is to, to, definitely to a fault. This is a problem. Drives Christy crazy. Cause it’s not just about flights. It’s about most anything I just, because I don’t like being confronted with having to mitigate or like, think about what could go wrong. It’s fun. And it’s easiest to assume the best and believe it. And I’m really good at believing it. So if it was at an hour and 10, I’d be like, Oh, that’s great. That’s great. That means that means there’s no sitting around in the airport. We get right off one plane and we’ll get right on the other one. And it would, it’ll feel like. I’ve gamed the system, and I will be excited about it the whole time, which is, which is wild, right? So, that’s why I’m saying what, what you did was not irrational in that instance. Well, in that case, I looked up on the internet, I was like, what is the recommended layover time for a flight from America to Paris, where then you’re going to Portugal? And it was like, you know, Google AI generated answer or whatever, which they’re doing two and a half hours, two to three hours is what I recommended. And so, cause I don’t know, again, like the question of like, What, customs? Do I leave the airport? I never know. I don’t fly enough internationally to remember how it works. And like, when do I have to go to customs? And do I have to go through security again? But now I’ve got enough time regardless of what the outcome is. But the reason I say it’s irrational is because it’s not something to be afraid of. You know what I’m saying? Like, Okay, I will be with my wife, we will be traveling together, and if we miss a flight, because we still could miss the next flight, like I could still miss the next flight. I could also, When we get in the car to go to the airport, I think about things like, What if we get a flat tire? Like, I am definitely a contingencies person. Now, you know me, I’m very, I’m not pessimistic, I’m optimistic. I always believe that in like, dreaming really big, I believe that things are very possible. Like, I don’t shy away from dreaming really big about things. And I think that things are going to happen. But when it comes to like logistics, I am thinking of all of the things that can go wrong in a way that is is somewhat helpful, but definitely not helpful. It’s not helpful to me. It’s not. It’s not personally beneficial from a like a. Well being standpoint. Yeah, you know, and so Jesse exacerbated this problem the other day the other week And I actually told her because I’m actively trying to you know I think I talked about that I played that tik tok video where the comedian was talking about realizing that his The way he thinks about getting off a plane is actually just anxiety. It’s not right Trying to be a good nice guy or whatever. It’s just like being anxious about it. And I was like, Oh, I relate to that. So I’ve been really actively trying to recognize when I’m getting that way and then to just relax, breathe, whatever. And it’s actually been really helpful, but we were going, I don’t even remember where we were going. We’re flying somewhere recently. And, um, it’s probably North Carolina. And we get to the adult part and we’re getting ready to go through security. And Jesse is like. I don’t have my ID. Oh no. And she said it with this look of I know that this is going to freak you the hell out. Like I know that this is not what you need right now but I have to tell you, I don’t have my ID. And I will say I am very proud of myself because when she said it I was like, And then I didn’t even respond beyond that. And I, and, and she, and she said, you and Shepard go ahead and go through security and I’m going to talk to them. Well, she, she talked to the lady. We were, it’s like the, this is the thing is that we have the clear thing. Yeah, that gives you hope right there. And you don’t technically have to have your ID, but lately they’ve been requesting the ID a lot at clear. And if the, once they request it, you have to have it. And so they requested it. And, but the lady was like, It doesn’t mean you can’t get through you just need to go talk to an agent or whatever So I was like, okay So we went through and it turns out and I do not recommend this because you were like if you don’t make it We’re still going. Um plan. Yeah, because it was the kind of thing that she could like get on the next flight or whatever And it was I can’t remember what the trip I don’t remember what the trip was for But we were but it wasn’t like I wasn’t gonna go it was like me and shepherd will go We’ll go Because instead of rebooking three tickets, we’ll just, you know, she’ll figure it out kind of thing. And it, and it was her mistake so she can, she can get out of it. Did you think a little bit of that? You weren’t going to be helpful. Um, yeah, maybe. Um, she had done the, she had done the, uh, Moving your license into a smaller purse for a date the night before thing that happens. Oh, okay. And then not putting it back in your wallet in your big purse. Is she dating somebody? Which is very, uh, yeah, apparently she had a date. Had a hot date with a tall man with long hair. And, um, she, uh, Which, apparently, once she has told, she’s told this story to pursed people, and, um, Mm hmm. Turns out that this is I’m one of those people. This is, this is something that happens quite often. I only have one purse, though. Yeah, multi pursed people, I think. Mm hmm. Um, but, turns out, if this happens to you, they use, and it kind of makes sense when you think about it, it took her an extra 15 minutes. That’s all. Really? They take you to the side, and they Like, one of the TSA people starts talking to you and asks to see your wallet, and to see what you have. Credit cards, the way that, like, if, if you and me We’re trying to figure out who somebody was. And how, what would we do? And they didn’t have their ID. We would look at their wallet and be like, Oh. Every other thing. This person has seven other things in their wallet that say this name. And it’s the name that’s on the ticket. It’s probably them. That’s all they do. It’s not like there’s some, But was that because it was clear and they also had her, like, pupil and fingerprint or not? It was, my understanding is that it was a totally separate process and it did not matter that she had gone through clear at all, that she was TSA pre at all. It was very simply, the thing that they were worried about is, the only thing they really care about is that, The person on the ticket matches the ticket, but actually that’s a secondary worry to making sure that nobody does anything on the plane that compromises the safety of the other passengers. So, I mean, even the worst case scenario, if somebody’s like using somebody else’s ticket to go to another city in the country, like, like, first of all, we probably, that’s almost, Assuredly not the case given the protocol that they’re using but also it’s like well She still has to go through security. She still has to have her bags checked She still has to make sure that she doesn’t have any weapons or whatever. But what about the return trip? Did you mail? Driver’s license. Yeah, the driver’s license was mailed to where we were staying and then she just Okay. I used to, but it turns out that you didn’t freak out. No. And when she came through, she was like, she was like, I’m so proud of you. You didn’t. Yes, you did not because you exploding. Would’ve accomplished nothing. I didn’t flip out. I didn’t get mad. I said nothing. Mm-Hmm. . And so, and the funny thing is you weren’t helpful, but you weren’t hurtful. The funny thing is, is that I literally talked to. My therapist about how using my, my flight experiences as exposure therapy for this irrational fear of like the checking in, getting there on time, layover, what can go wrong, missing flights, all of the irrational fears associated with that. So when I was presented with this hour and 10 minute layover, it was an opportunity to embrace it and use it as exposure therapy, but I was like, this is too much too soon. This is too much. I gotta, I gotta get a free hourly or I gotta do something that makes some sense. Yeah, that, that’s totally wise. My irrational fear, and I’m reminded of it a lot. It’s going into a women’s public restroom by accident. Like, and I’m not just, I’m not just saying it for giggles. There’s plenty of times when I’m in a public restroom and I’m peeing. In a urinal? In a urinal! Well you’re not in a women’s restroom. And I’m like, and I’m like, and I think to myself, wait is this a women’s restroom? And then I look down, I’m like, no, I’m at a urinal. It’s like, It’s like I’ve had a concussion and I’ve come to while peeing and I gotta make sure that I’m not in the wrong place, even though I walked in. It’s something about like, I just walk in and I’m using the bathroom and I’m like, wait, wait, are there, are there men around? How often does this happen? Um, a month on a monthly basis. It’s just, I don’t know, certain circumstances of certain type of public restrooms. But again, I’ll, I will find myself at the urinal and I will have to think to myself, well, you’re at a urinal buddy. You’re fine. This is why I am pro gender neutral bathrooms. To alleviate that fear. Like, but I’m also pro, like, gender neutral bathrooms. That is what you call them, right? Yes. I’m pro that for the right reasons. So that, for all the right reasons. But I’m also pro that for my own selfish reasons. Yeah. So I don’t have to worry about this anymore. I’m just, it does feel like a very simple solution. I’m a human using the bathroom. Every bathroom is the right bathroom. Every bathroom becomes the right bathroom. And I’m really pro that for me, selfishly, where this comes into play, where I can relate to you is those restaurants that have come up with a cute way to delineate the men and the women. Yeah. We’re like a, With like a picture of something? Or like a foreign word? Yeah, it’s annoying. And I’m like, I don’t want to solve a puzzle to have to pee. Yes. I think I am a horse. I think I’m a horse. I don’t think I’m a flower. Yeah, and that’s just That’s not, that, that, we don’t want, we don’t want to go with those gender norms anyway. We don’t, we don’t, we don’t. So we want to kick all that to the curb. Anybody can be a horse and anybody can be a flower. You know what I think does it? It’s when I’m rushing to go to the bathroom. And you go right past the horse. And that’s what it is. It’s like, that’s what happens once a month. Public restroom that I’ve rushed into and I was like, did I look, did I really read the thing? Yeah. And that’s what it is. I think that’s, uh, yeah. I do think. It’s happened to me. Like, somewhere in my distant past, I found myself in a women’s restroom, and I was embarrassed. Well, did your mom take you into women’s restrooms when you were a kid? Probably, when you were little. Probably. To use the restroom. This is probably where this stems from. Maybe that’s part of it. Yeah. That, that is At some point, you’re like, I feel like I gotta go in the other one. It is a It’s a difficult aspect of parenting that needs to be talked about more often, is that when you’re the dad with the daughter who needs to go potty in the Target. What do you do when the daughter’s too young to go into the women’s restroom alone? Do you send her with a strange woman or do you take her into the men’s bathroom? Which happens? I mean, I’ve been in many men’s restrooms where there’s like a, a little girl having to use the bathroom and I just, I feel for everybody. That’s what I have observed. But I do think that the gender neutral thing’s, why stops problem. That’s why the family, family restrooms are great. But the gender, yeah, and I’m a fan of the, like you just have a, there’s stalls, but then. And those are individual. I mean, it’s like, it’s hard to make these layouts work, but then the sinks are corporate, and they’re out there. I thought you were going to say the sinks are also urinals. Because I was trying to figure it out. No, the sinks We gotta have some urinals. The sinks are in a shared open space, and then you, then there’s like closets you can go into. There’s a urinal space, a urinal space that I’m just afraid. I’m just afraid of doing that. I think it is related to, uh, how quickly you go in. That’s my irrational fear. I relate to the fear, but I get to the horse and the flower and I really, I’ll spend 30 seconds really thinking about all the ways that this could go wrong. I think, why would I not be a horse? Yeah. There are, there are Both genders of horses. Are they showing the dong? Is there a dong hanging underneath the horse? I’m saying that in these situations, there’s no rhyme or reason sometimes to the things that they have chosen. to represent men and women. And I’m frustrated by it. And then I’m like, yeah, every place I’ve been where there’s a gender neutral bathroom and then there’s just a collection of sinks outside I’m always like, this is, this is so much better. This is so, this is so much easier. We, we stop having arguments about all of this stuff all of a sudden if we just do that. Why, it’s just so, it’s so simple. But you need to have a urinal in there because men pee everywhere. It’s You don’t need to make people with penises pee on toilets because that will happen. Yeah. There needs to be a few urinals. So, everybody’s gotta put up with there being a urinal in there. Or maybe, and I guess it’s behind a closet. In gender neutral, gender al, neutral. Are there urinals at all? Yeah, but they’re behind a closet. No, they’re just on the other side of the toilet typically they’re in like a it’s like literally just open urinal Toilet. Oh just like a men’s restroom. Yeah, and it’s just like yeah, it’s kind of like tucked Around the back so that you know, like you have to go like around a stall or whatever I don’t think it would be that hard if you think about the amount of yeah You think about the amount of human floor space raw human that it takes to Do two because when you do two now, you’ve got a wall in between you’ve got There’s things that you’re doubling up that are unnecessary. You got two doors. Like there’s a way to take that space and be like, guys, we could solve this pretty easily. There’s, I mean, first of all, they figured this out in Europe. We’ve already talked about the squatty potties. Just put holes down. There you go. Holes are the answer. That’s my rational fear and like, Thinking too specifically about blood flow. I’m not afraid of needles. I’m afraid of needles inserted in the veins. Needles inserted in the veins to then make blood flow out of the body stream into the medical stream. I don’t like that. I irrationally do not like it. So you’re not alone. Goodness. I got a little creeped out there. Are we good? Yeah. All right. Thanks for listening. You know we’ll be speaking at you again. Hi, this is Amy from Manitoba, Canada, a long time listener here, but I just wanted to let Link know that I also had a special chocolate milk spoon I used as a kid, and I have since lost that spoon, unfortunately, but I still also just like to savor my chocolate milk. No gulping involved. Sorry, Rhett. Thanks, bye.