This episode is sponsored by Autotrader. See a car in a movie you just watched? Well, you can find it on Autotrader. Shop millions of new and used cars on Autotrader. Welcome to Ear Biscuits, the podcast where two lifelong friends talk about life for a long time. I’m Link. And I’m Rhett. This week at the round table of dim lighting, we’re Back we’re back to normal. Normal length episodes. Normal length episodes. We’re back to just being normal. That’s a new, that’s, Nope, the new normal is, we’re now normal. Sorry, we, we not gonna happen. We took a break and now we’re normal. If you thought we were weird, well that’s over. ’cause now we’re normal. Yeah. Weird is a buzzword for different people now, I guess. Yeah. Right, right, right. Okay. No, but uh, it, I, I retained my right to be weird in my own way. Yeah. Yeah. You know, but I’ve been doing that way too long to stop. For any other for any other reasons do you did you have a weird? Uh, did you have a weird summer break? I had a wonderful summer break. It’s good to see you. Uh, we read and I just Reunited, you know, we just saw each other for the first time Maybe the as christy pointed out to me the longest we’ve ever been apart I think it ties the longest we’ve ever been apart I think we were apart for like six weeks. Okay for summer projects and yeah And there’s no way that happened Yeah, so we weren’t at. Okay, I was trying to build it up, make it into something. But also we were on a few, let’s be honest, we were on a few video calls. Yep. Yep. We didn’t step away from work. Nope. Completely. Nope. But enough to be rejuvenated and, uh, tanner. Do you notice I’m a bit tanner? Yeah, I was a little bit worried about how tan you might get. Just knowing some of the things that we have to shoot in the coming week that need to look like they were shot. Months ago. A little bit of Wonderhole stuff. But I think that It’s fine. I think it’ll I think I think it’ll even you’ll lighten up. I think you’ll lighten up But I think that’s like a week from now, right Jenna. Did you miss us? You’re back from your summer break, too I I did miss you all. Yes, I did Okay It is sincere we missed you I sent you all a voice message at one point I don’t think You seem to be under the influence of something. Yes, yeah, I didn’t save it, so I’m honestly not sure. I think I tried to. That’ll be another, that’ll be another. I was like, okay, don’t have to worry about Jenna. She’s having a good break. I remember being like, this is going on, tell Jessie and Christy. Just to clarify, because I said under the influence, I will not disclose any, like, you were coming out of a medical procedure and you had, Um, you had been given some drugs, some authorized drugs. I was given, I was given some good meds coming out of that surgery and then I was like, I should let Rhett and Link know how I’m doing. I felt very, uh, just like, uh, connected to you at that moment when you decided to send that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That was good to hear. So we’re, um. I, I, I did a Hawaii trip, you know. I went to Oahu. I’m playing, I’m, I’m prepared to talk about it, but not today, because I’m giving the day to you. Okay. And, uh, Jenna, you went to I went to six different countries. List them. I went to the Netherlands, Hungary, Slovakia, Austria, Germany, and, uh, Czech, yeah, I think it’s the Czech, I don’t know if it’s called Czech Republic anymore, I don’t know if that’s what they call it, anyway, I was in Prague. I was in Prague. With, like, 40 other women on a boat? Yeah, there was a lot of women on a boat, yeah. Okay, alright. A lot of older women on a boat, and we had a blast, yeah. So, uh, you know what, I’ll give you this one, if you’ll give me the next one. Oh, I’m happy to do that. Okay. Um, so, I spent Sometime in Portugal Is that Why why did you just do that portugal? Is that is that how they say it in portugal? Let me just be honest with you They say a lot of things in a lot of ways that did not compute or really land on my brain. Portugal is the country that I’m speaking of. I don’t actually don’t even know if that’s how they say it. I’m just sort of saying it. Um, let me, first of all, I want to say thank you to the people of Portugal for speaking English. Like there’s an incredible education system there where they take like nine or 10 years of English. So they make it very easy. Easy for English speakers to vacation and, um, so there wasn’t any, you know, I had this idea that I was going to learn a little bit before I got there and then you know how life is, it just happens and then you’re just like, ah, they’re going to be, they’re going to, yeah, it revolves around you and then they, and then they do, they do speak English. But the thing that I’d always been told is that. Oh, it’s basically like Spanish and maybe if you look at it on paper, you would be like, yeah, this, it seems like Spanish, but when you hear Portuguese people talking, they do not sound like they’re speaking Spanish. In fact, to the untrained ear, and I definitely have an untrained ear. There’s something. Almost Russian about it. There’s a lot of there’s a lots of show sounds and there’s a there’s there’s some hocking of Lugie sounds that happen. Okay, that was French and I think well, it’s you know, it happens everywhere I guess it’s certain places, but I was I just thought to myself boy if I We would have a guy, uh, like one of the tour guides was teaching us how to pronounce some things, and like, it’s one of those things where he would say something, and then I would just try to repeat it back, and I could not get it right. Like, just some of the way the sounds are made, and I was like, I’m glad I don’t have to actually learn how to do this. I’m not moving to Portugal. I just vacated there. Okay. Um, beautiful country! I, I, we had an incredible time. That’s why you chose it. It was just me and Jesse. For two weeks, and we had a really incredible time together. I’m not going to tell you the whole trip. I’m going to tell you some of the highlights and some of the, the, the more compelling moments. Okay. Um, but we kind of did the thing where you visit the places that everybody says that you should visit. Starting in Porto, which is like a ocean, you know, front town, very beautiful, like what you imagine in like the European streets and cobblestone streets and old buildings and old cathedrals and all that stuff. Um, we spent some time in a little town called Malitish, which, um, because there was a hotel there that Jessie really wanted. She, she picked all of the places that we stayed because, you know, she cares about, you know. Design and aesthetics and it was very much like I want to stay at these places that will make great pictures and, you know, are I respect like respect the designer of this hotel or whatever. So what were you in charge of? Because she was in charge of your stays, your location. Was she in charge of your movements? Transpo? No, we collectively decided the things that we were going to, like what the agenda would be. Okay. And, I will say, there’s always this, when you’re traveling, and you’re going to a country that’s like the size of a, you know, United State. Not states, but state. You know what I mean? That you can get around in a few hours. You’re like, we kinda have to see the things that everyone says that you have to see. Sure. Um, even though you might be thinking, Oh, I kinda just want to decompress and have this relaxing vacation. In my experience, seeing the things ends up winning out when they’re there to be seen. Like, if we just went to one city, we went to one city and we’re just like, we’re just gonna lounge and not go out and not see things. Then you’d be like, man, we should be seeing things. So we hit the ground running and we were like seeing three or four things in a day on like the first two or three days. And I was like, this is, Do you have a fanny pack? Well, a fanny pack is a talking point. Oh, okay. Don’t get ahead of yourself. I’m just glad to know that it’s coming because I need that fanny pack talking point. Yeah, yeah. It’s more of a talking point. I mean, it’s more than a talking point. It might be a revelation. Now I’m interested. But we, we did end up having a, uh, like we said, we were in Porto, Maldives. And Lisbon, which is like their big city. It’s kinda where we, we ended the trip, but we, we flew down to this island. This is probably the highlight of the trip for me, this island of Madera. If you’ve ever had the wonderful Dish Madera chicken from Cheesecake Factory, , and you’ve, you’ve tasted a slice of Madera Island. Oh yeah. Because it’s a wine. Uh, it’s a wine that they, comes from this island, which is a volcanic island that looks, I sent you pictures, it looks just like Kauai, or it looks like, just, it looks like Hawaii, cause those are volcanic islands as well, just like super lush, green, Steep, Steep, Jagged, M m mountain, green mountains going directly into the ocean, and, I love islands, Flowing with Madeira wine, And it’s got, uh, grapes for wine, all over the island and also bananas like bananas They are bananas about bananas in Madeira, and not just regular bananas. They’ve got pineapple bananas. They’ve got apple bananas. I was absolutely perplexed by this and intrigued. We went on a Jeep tour, cause it was like you, you know, you’re going to some places that you can’t get in a regular car. First of all, how, did you get there on a little plane? No. It’s, it’s, uh, it’s not close to Portugal. It’s almost even with Morocco, like, in latitude. So it’s kind of like an African Now, you’re getting pretty close to Morocco when you’re in Portugal and Spain, on that part of Europe, but It was like an hour, it was like an hour flight. Okay. And a regular, regular plane. Full, regular plane. Um, but Portugal owns, or whatever the term is, you know, like, They have islands that are part of their country, and Madeira’s one, the Azores, like you’ve heard, these are like these beautiful islands in the Atlantic that we knew we wanted to stay, we wanted to go to Madeira. So you were on the jeep. And uh, we’re in the jeep, and the guy is like, who’s driving is like telling us, All this stuff about what we’re about to see or like, Oh, these are the, these are bananas. And I’m going to tell you the history of this. And then he’s like, we have, we don’t just have regular bananas. We have pineapple bananas and apple bananas. It’s like we’re going to stop at a market and you should get one. And I was so excited. And before I tasted the pineapple banana, I was like pineapple bananas. Like this just feels like something that everyone throughout the world would be excited to try. Like, it’s basically like, it’s the fruit of a pina colada. Uh, In one fruit. Yeah, yeah. You know what I’m saying? How did you say that? Pineapple banana. Like this. I don’t love bananas, but uh. But lots of people do. And. I would be, I’m more interested in these type of bananas. And uh, and so, I was just like, how come we don’t know about this? And then I found out the reason that we don’t know about it is, sorry, they’re not that great. Um, they’re, they’re, the way that I would describe it is an inconvenient banana. Because it does, it looks like. Uh, well, we’ll be showing a picture right now, Link. You won’t have the benefit of looking at it because I have too many pictures, and I have not organized them. Okay. But basically, it looks like a pinecone and a banana had sex, and then you can pull the pieces of the banana off in like little Sounds painful for the banana. sections like a pineapple. It comes off in pieces, but it tastes just like a banana. So it’s like, harder to eat banana. If it was, if it tasted like a pineapple and a banana mix, then I’d feel like they were on to something. But what about the apple banana? Uh, it was, it wasn’t even as good as the pineapple banana. It just turns out that the reason that the world knows about regular bananas is that it’s the best banana. Like, they got bananas right. They engineered them. Bananas have been, have perfected. No reason, no reason to update them. Uh, but that was really my only disappointment in the whole trip. Uh, I mean, it was just, there’s just something about Europe, first of all, when you live in America. And we live in a land of parking lots and signs And strip malls and a landscape that has been designed for cars, right? Cars are the priority in America. And so every building, every community, every town and city has been primarily designed to accommodate cars. A motor vehicle, not a person with feet. Of course, all these European cities, they’re older, they’re older than cars. And then they made a very strategic decision. Somebody did at some point along the way that, uh, they were going to put, they had cars, they needed cars because cars are a thing and they do drive, but they’re not going to create just places for cars to exist. They’re not going to create parking lots. They’re going to create parking decks that are underground garages that like you’ll just be in a city and all of a sudden there’s just like a little ramp that goes in and oh, a little cave. Oh no, it’s a parking garage, a car cave in there. And that’s where they, they hide all the cars. They don’t want you to think about the cars. They want the cars to be hidden. And the cars are like, the cars are so small, my friend, they can go down in a little, and I’m a big man. And let me tell you, um, um, for shout out to. The mythical beasts that I ran into along my journey, which was not, you know, we’re not talking the level of concentration that happens here in the United States, which I appreciated, uh, 211 cents, right? But there were quite a few mythical beasts spread in and around. Portugal, both people who were just visiting and also people who were, the guy who checked us into the hotel, born and raised on the island of Madeira, Mythical Beasts. Is that right? Yeah. And um, so anyway, the cars. So we rented a car, and we are putting our, it was uh, The car that they gave us was like a sedan, like a BMW 5 series, like, sedan. So like the, the, the small BMW sedan. Okay. Small ish. And Sounds cute and fancy. Jessie, as we’re putting our bags in, she’s like, Is this gonna be big enough for us? And I was like, We have been given the biggest car that they have. This is the, they saw the big man and they gave him the big car. The best they could do. And, um, it was, it was the biggest car and everything else was like, like a little, Peugeot, you know, the little, the pepper shakers that we played with and they have to make the car and I saw a lot of those, but yeah, they do make the pepper shaker. It was in the car. I’ll call it a pepper grinder, but go ahead. Yeah. Grinder mill, pepper mill. But the number of times which I went into a car cave and then it took me approximately 20 minutes to get situated into a parking spot, like the parking spot, everything is so small, the, the path to get in and out of the, it was like, you could have, you could have just made it six inches wider on each side, a foot wider across in my life. And I would be less stressed out right now. I guess they just get, you’re like in the car, just like, just like. Puckering up. It’s everything. Everything is so close. And when you get down there into the parking lot, nothing, but you still do it, right? You like you duck down in the car because you’re like, I see there’s a clearance thing. Um, it wasn’t so much that this will bring the hood of the car down. It wasn’t so much that it was this. Cause I was in a sedan, so the height was never an issue. I wasn’t in an SUV. It was why, how would I do this in an American car? I couldn’t. Do you, did you, um, let Jesse get out of the car and then you would park? Most of the time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And speaking of the car. Matter of fact, you might need to get out and then park. R remotely. Um, I. Got in trouble with the policia. Okay. Yeah, got in trouble with the policia. What happened? Uh, we drove from Porto to Braga. I know you’re on the, you’re on the other side of the car, right? No, no. That’s Europe. Europe is the same as us. That’s the UK is different. Yeah, because you’re on the yeah, but mainland Europe is right. Right side. What’s the problem? You’re on the right. You’re on the side of the road. The signs are different. Okay. And, uh, there’s this thing that happens in these old cities where you begin to ask yourself a question. Am I on a road or a path? Sidewalk , you know what I’m saying? Like it is a, and how did it and how did I get here? . Hey, how did, uh, because there there’ll be cobblestone roads. Yeah. And then they’ll, and that it looks like a walk. And you won’t remember exactly how, where the transition took place. Right. Because I guess there was signs. Now that’s not exactly what happened. , what happened was, is that I was on a road and I was looking for a place to park, and I was looking for a. You know, I was looking for the car cave and I wasn’t seeing one and I’m going down this road that sort of kept getting narrower. And then there was a sign at some point that was like a circle. I had Jesse googling signs. I was like, what does that mean? What does this sign mean? What is the. The triangular sign with two cars side by side, one red, one black. What is that? I still don’t know, but that’s just to give you an example. Um, but then this sign was like the ghostbusters sign, you know, the red Circle with a line through it, but then it was, then it was, uh, blue through the, through it. I think that was, that was a sign. And this was like day two of driving. So I hadn’t blue here. I hadn’t Googled enough. What is, what do you, how do you blue in a car? Uh, you just go, you know, it’s still going the wrong way. Don’t go. It’s it’s, do not enter. Okay. Because you are now on a one way street. That’s, The size of a sidewalk, and the cars are coming against you. Ohhhhhhh. So I like, go It should have been green, with a red thing around it. And then Jesse says, I think you’re going the wrong way. I’m like, well, I think I am going the wrong way. Pfft. Uh, but I think I can just keep going and I’ll find a way out. And so I kept going Were you that calm? Uh, at the time I was, yeah. Yeah, good. And I then I turn a corner and I think I’m on the wrong way. I’m just going to keep going. Well, I was like i’m gonna go until there’s a way to turn out of this thing. Okay I kept going and it t boned into another Street and at that point there were no actually it just took a just took a hard left No, t just a hard left and at that point there were cars coming towards me And now I was in a position where I had to do just looking at the cars a You 17 point turn. Oh, no. And where the cars just, they just stopped there and they could see they dumb American, you know, they could see, they could tell what I was. No blue here. And so are you blowing? I did my 17 point turn. And then I start going the other way. And as I begin going the other way, I just see a policia man just in there with his arms crossed, just looking at me. And then he’s like, I mean, I got pulled over by a walking cop just, just with a hand gesture. So I pull over. And then, uh, he was giving me a little, like, he came in pretty hot, right? You know, cause I came in with, I’m sorry, yeah, I know that was one way, you know, I’m apologetic, I’m like, just figuring this out, whatever. Yeah, but look at you. And, uh, He said big and with all your hair you’re taking up too much space like I need some documentation too much American space being accommodated here, um Documentation and I was like I didn’t so I just the only thing I had that I knew of was just like the the rental car receipt You know that like says some stuff I gave it to him and he’s like I need something else or whatever. And so jesse opens up the dash and So the love com compar compartment, and there was, uh. There’s apparently in a rental car. There is like insurance information and stuff that you can give to a police. Yeah. Okay, and He was like this is expired first of all, but by that point he had he knew he had kind of like made his Statement or whatever because he was like it’s he said the car is fine But they’re they need to give they need to update their paperwork, or whatever. But I was like, yeah, it’s a rental car company, whatever. Hertz, shout out to Hertz. And, um, for not having up to date documentation in Portugal. But, uh, he was like, just be more careful. Yeah. And I was like, I’m sorry, I will. And, uh, so I got out of that. Okay. And, and Jesse was like, It was funny because I’m not a calm traveler, like, in transition, like, as we are, like, doing, uh, layovers in Paris and these things and you’re in a foreign country, like, I’m not, you know, I’m doing better, but I’m just, I’m anxious and not calm in those situations. And, but I didn’t, the cop thing wasn’t, cause I was like, I went the wrong way on this thing. He’s going to scare me a little bit and tell me to be more careful. But I wasn’t, at no point was I nervous or did my heart rate go up or I didn’t think I was going to be like locked up abroad or anything. And, uh, she was like, why are you so calm? I was like, oh, you think I’m calm. He was like, of all the things you’ve been worried about, now you’re, you weren’t worried when you got pulled over. Um, but I had heard that Portugal was like, super, like, super safe. Uh, we talked to one guy who was like, he was talking about how, like, the police, like, they, he was like, the police don’t, They’re just like, sort of like community guides, or whatever is the way that he kind of, so, I don’t know, community guides, , you know, it was like, it didn’t feel like, it didn’t feel like it does in the us Yeah. Drive this way on the street. Not that way. It didn’t, it doesn’t feel like you’ve got this like militarized police force that you’re dealing with. Like, it doesn’t, it, it felt different. Okay. So what was, was he carrying? Like I didn’t even see they had a weapon. Honestly. Not even like a last, he had on a polo shirt. Oh, okay. Like a light blue polo. It just looked like, he looked like some guy who was like helping me with my tea time. You know what I’m saying like, you’re next up sir. Alright, that works. But it’s funny, uh, when you talk about like the way, how he might have responded when he saw me. And there is this thing like, do I look? Where do I look like I’m from? Right? It’s because they say it’s really easy to spot people from the United States, right? And when they’re in Europe or whatever, you know, maybe they’ve got on like a baseball hat or something like that. There’s just things that Americans do that, that stand out. And I don’t know. I don’t know what I look like. I wore my hair up most of the time because it’s much, when you’re traveling, it’s like you don’t want your hair everywhere. So I just like tie it up. And, um, I did have on at least at some moments, I did have on what you might call a fanny pack, which I’ll come back to, which I don’t, I think, I think that makes you seem like you’re traveling. I don’t think it makes you seem European, but whatever it is about my appearance, um, it has caused. The people of Portugal, or at least a certain type of person in Portugal, to offer me Hasheesh or Coke? Uh, usually hasheesh and coke at the same time I have been offered so much hasheesh and coke Why do they call it hasheesh? And so people come up to you and they say hasheesh or coke. Yeah, so basically Any time we were walking in a city And I never any pepsi and I know for a fact every time this happened I was singled out every single time because we’ve been walking and there’s like You 10 people in front of me and 10 people behind me and there would be like a guy kind of standing there like just sort of like standing outside of a shop or on a corner or something like that and he would see me and he would take a few steps towards me and he’s like, Hey man, you like hashish? You like? Coco a la Coco. What? So what was it like that hashish you ate? So I was always like. So the first few times, I was like, nah man, thanks. But then, by the end of the trip, I was literally asking, what is it about me? Oh really? Oh good, good, good. Jessie, Jessie asked one of the guys. Beard, it’s the beard. She was like, does he look like he wants it? Does he look like he wants it? Because You keep asking, everyone keeps asking. It’s like, oh, they’re sitting there all day waiting for people to pass and they just are like, I know my market and they’re like, there he is, and she’s cooking. Now, is it legal there? Okay. I think it’s, uh, I don’t really, I don’t know the legality of it, but. I don’t think cocaine is legal anymore. That’s a good point. Uh, hashish. I, well. I think it’s, I think it’s, uh, it is technically illegal, but it’s probably like, not that big of a deal or whatever. But, probably standing on the corner selling it is a big frickin deal, that’s why they kinda like. I think hashish is a good thing to call it when you’re, like, whispering about it. It’s a very whisperable word. It’s like, hashish might be the most whisperable word there is. Yeah, yeah, it’s definitely, it’s definitely better. I can say it, I can say it so quiet. You can carry up to five grams of it. Without facing criminal punishment. It’s not legal, but it’s super decriminalized. Okay. Okay Yeah, now now that that’s a percussive word. That’s hard. That’s hard to whisper. Yeah. Yeah Because it’s got it On both ends of it. Yeah, and but I didn’t partake and uh, oh But I will say I felt It’s hard to whisper. I took it as a compliment. Easy to whisper. I will say that I was I took it as a compliment. I must be doing something right if I’m the guy that’s getting offered the Hashishin coat. Um, I did bring you a gift. I don’t know. Oh, good. Speaking of. Did you get me something from your trip? Uh, well, I’m gonna talk I’ll share it tomorrow. I Um, A brown bag full of hashish and coke! Let me see! Green toilet paper. I’m holding in my hand, Oscar the Grouch colored TP. Let me tell you about this, Link. I will say, it’s not used. You know? Oh no. It’s an unstarted pack. It’s all for you. It’s all for you. I know you use a bidet, but you do have to dry. Um, Link, this toilet paper is from the city of Lisboa, Lisbon. Um, it is from, um, The sexy, sexiest bathroom in the world. This is, sounds like something Mr. Hashish and Coke would be visiting. We were in this, like, sexiest bathroom in the world. We were down on the waterfront and we needed to urinate and there was this big red, Like storefront and it said the sexiest bathroom in the world. And it was a bathroom sponsored by the company that makes that toilet paper. And. Now I will say, this is the most I’ve ever paid to piss, it’s four euros. Um, you know, most of the, you have to pay to piss there a lot of times, but usually it’s just 50, 50 cents or whatever that is. This is four euros, but I was like, photo op, Jesse and I got some pictures in there. Yeah, what, what could it be? What could make it so sexy in there? It wasn’t. Really, I thought there was going to be. Is it lacy? I thought there was going to be, maybe, some, like, graphic images. Is it toilet seat? That’s what I was hoping for. Latex? And there weren’t really any graphic images because it’s like a brand. It was just. Leather? Different colors of toilet paper in different colors of rooms that were all the same color as the toilet papers. So I think I urinated in the purple room, but I got you the green TP. So, did you buy it from a vending machine? No, no. It was included in the trip. For four euros you get to piss or shit if you want and you get and they give you a complete roll Jesse got one too. Actually, she didn’t get one because we didn’t have enough room I was like just put it in this paper bag. I’ll give it a link You said that at the time yeah, I was like I need to get a gift for a link I was like this is perfect toilet paper well, uh Thank you, Rhett. Um, I will pat dry with this green I’m wondering if it’ll leave the color on me. I’m hoping it will. It’s pretty dyed. It does smell like Europe. Oh. It smells That’s all I’ve ever seen a lot. It doesn’t smell great. I mean, not that Europe doesn’t smell great, but, well, that’s what I’ve just said. I don’t know. I don’t know what I mean. I just, I’m really happy to have it. And I, I’m gonna, I’m gonna use it sparingly. Yeah. Yeah. Hopefully it’ll last until next year. What I’m gonna, I’m gonna set it beside my, my American toilet paper, and I’m just gonna use a couple of squares each time. Yeah. To just supplement, just to string it out. Um, yeah. I’m gonna get strung out on it. I had a, um. One of the highlights of the trip was something, was unfortunately an accident that my wife was in, that I’m now going to talk about. Okay, can I, can I say before you get into that story that we’re selling this t shirt? Oh, yes. It’s a 90’s themed, cartoon style, mythicalized shirt. Get it at mythical. com, it’s pretty cool. Yeah, very. I mean, it’s very, it’s very cool. And, if you like it, all of these characters, which are us, these are mythical characters, including us, um, it’s There’s a scrunchie with all of them on it too. Oh yes. You can get yourself a scrunchie. I’ve worn the scrunchie. Mythical. com. You’d be surprised at what’s over there. Ear Biscuits is brought to you by BetterHelp. I don’t have many self care non negotiables, but one that I do have is, I never miss my stretching in the morning. I cannot be myself if I do not stretch. If I don’t stretch, I think. That you’re gonna, I’m gonna get injured and then you’re gonna say you should have stretched. Yeah, well, whatever it takes, man. Yeah, and I think another non negotiable for me is, is therapy, of course. Which leads right into what we’re talking about here. When your schedule is packed with kids activities, big work projects, and more, it’s easy to let your priorities slip. Even when we know what makes us happy, it’s hard to make time for it. But when you feel like you have no time for yourself, non negotiables like therapy are more important than ever. Mm hmm. We are huge advocates for therapy. We think it should be as accessible as possible. So, if you’re thinking about starting, you can give BetterHelp a try. It’s entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists at any time for no fee. Never skip therapy day with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp. com slash Ear today to get 10 percent off your first month. That’s BetterHelp, H E L P dot com slash Ear. Ear Biscuits is supported by Chime. Summertime, the time of vacations, but vacations! Requires a lot of planning, but also a lot of saving. You got to really plan the savings to be able to splurge on yourself a little bit. Yes, summer fun can get expensive. And when you have financial goals, you need to decide what’s worth it. A Chime Checking Account helps you reach your financial goals while still enjoying your summer. Chime helps you make progress with fee free overdraft up to 200 as your next deposit will be applied to your balance. Here’s how it works. Set up a direct deposit into your Chime account. After a qualifying direct deposit of 200 or more, Chime will notify you to enroll in Spot Me. With an activated debit card, Chime will spot you up to your limit when you exceed your balance. No monthly or maintenance fees. Plus you get access to over 60, 000 fee free ATMs. Live it up this summer and make progress towards your financial goals with Chime. Open your account in minutes at Chime. com slash ear. That’s Chime. com slash ear, Chime, feels like progress. Banking services and debit card provided by the Bank Corp Bank N. A. or Stride Bank N. A., members F. D. I. C. Spot. me eligibility requirements and overdrive limit supply. Boosts are available to eligible Chime members enrolled in Spot. me and are subject to monthly limits. Terms and conditions apply. Go to Chime. com slash disclosures for details. So we Jesse got, uh, got injured? Yeah, so And you call this a highlight of your trip. Well, as it was happening, I realized it was definitely going to be one of the highlights of the podcast I was going to do about it. Um, we stayed in a hotel on the island of Madeira called Reed’s Palace. A palace? And it was just a big hotel. Beautiful hotel. Built in the 1890s. History of the island is kind of fascinating. Like, it was, when they found it originally, there were no Indigenous people there, not many animals at all, just all the trees, no bananas, just all these trees and in typical sort of colonial fashion back in the day, they just, they set a forest fire to burn down the entire island and left and said, we’re going to come back in two years and plant what we want. There was just a time in human history where that’s the way things were done. No, it’s still kind of done, but burnt the island, burnt the whole thing down. Now, thankfully there was one area that did not get touched by the flames and it was maybe the most beautiful place I’ve ever seen in my life. And it was at the top of the mountain. There is this cloud forest where these like thousand year old trees. I will show, I have to show you these, these pictures. So like the environment up there. It was it was damp enough that it didn’t burn. Yeah, but in the clouds, but it’s this It’s absolutely I think it’s the most amazing, you know, my pictures don’t necessarily capture it But it just kind of looks like uh grass and mist it’s grass mist and these giant old trees But it’s this It’s the most sort of surrealistic environment that I’ve ever, that I’ve ever been in. And I was like, my photos are not going to capture this, but my heart is. Okay. You know, that’s not where my wife had her accident, by the way. She, so, uh, we’re staying in this hotel, which incidentally, Jacob had stayed at. Literally the week before I got there. And, uh, incredible Jacob is a mythical executive here. Yes, our chief operating officer. Yeah, that is what he is. Chief operating officer. Not good with titles. Yeah, I’ve noticed. And he was talking about this place and he was like He sent me like a very, like, good, like, summary of like This is what I recommend. This is what I don’t recommend. And, uh, he said it was awesome, but I mean, this place had like, it was on a cliff, like so many places, like a hundred foot cliff or so with like steps built into it, and then. Like places to sit where they had like pool chairs sort of like beach chairs that were on this cliff And then diving boards into the ocean what yeah, and it was in the diving board It’s been there for like 130 years So there’s all these pictures of everyone who’s like been there and I was like winston churchill in the lobby and stuff like Um, just an incredible history of this place But because it’s you know, kind of an old hotel and the rooms kind of You Seem the way that they did back in the day. There’s not like a normal place for a television So I don’t know if you’ve been in one of these hotels where yeah, they have like the TV cart That’s like at the foot of the bed And it’s like low during the day, but when they come in to do your like turn down service to like, I guess, put a pair of slippers next to your bed or something, they pop up this TV cabinet and there’s a TV like right at the foot of the bed. We never turned it on, but it was there. Um, it’s key to understand that it was there at this. So you’re just thinking about like a piece of furniture. That’s about five and a half feet tall. That’s at the foot of the bed. Okay. Okay. Just keep that in mind. So I go to sleep because it was nighttime and I am awakened. Now, let me just say, let me just say, let me back up just a moment. And I’ll say, it seems to me there’s a wall at the foot of your bed. Made out of a television. My wife. Sleeps with her mouth tape shut. Because, because that’s what I insist upon. I don’t want to go to sleep. I don’t want that woman saying a word while I’m asleep. It says like medical tape. She sleeps with medical tape. Does she go to sleep first and then you put it on or? I don’t actually put it on. Uh, there are some people who believe, and my wife is one of them, that you will not snore if your mouth is taped shut. And I think it has some truth to it and I think that, It causes you to breathe through your nose. It seems to work relatively well for her. And, uh, I will also just add another detail as a prelude to this. No eyes. She doesn’t taper eyes. We had, you know, we were, we had engaged in a lot of my favorite physical activity throughout the vacation. Um, and so she was naked as was I. As we drifted off to sleep, okay? Think about this. But she, did she, okay. Is the tape gone after the After sex, usually. Sometimes, during. Yeah. But in this case, it was after. So I’m asleep. Too tired to put on clothes, but not to put on the tape. Three o’clock in the morning. I am awakened by a, an initial bang. And I, you know, when you are suddenly awakened at 3 a. m. by a bang, you’re not immediately cogent cogent. Yeah. But the initial, the initial bang happens and that is followed by another bang of sorts, which is followed by. Now I’ve had time to hear, I’ve heard two bangs and I’ve sort of echo located where this is coming in the room because my eyes are adjusting to the darkness. And at that point I can tell, oh, Something is happening in that corner of the room because there was a bang in the foot of the bed, then there was a bang in the corner of the room, and then it sounded like, what sounded like a lamp falling over, and then a lamp falling off of something, and then onto the ground, and then busting. Damn. And then the sound of a human body hitting No. No. The floor but nobody talking and at this point Did you hear like oh, I’ll tell you what I heard my eyes begin to adjust and I look and I see A naked woman with her mouth taped shut. Just laying up against a piece of furniture. And at first I was like, who is that woman? I was like, Oh, it’s my wife. And, and, and I think I, I don’t know exactly what I said. I was so startled. I was like, what the hell is happening? Like something like that. I may have said the F word. I don’t know. And it didn’t necessarily seem like concern. It seemed more like what the hell just woke me up, I think is probably the tone that inadvertently came from my untaped mouth and she. Sits up with her mouth tape shut and she’s just like She’s telling me to go back to bed What she was saying was i’m okay go back to bed I don’t want to wake you up because I had told her at the beginning of the night that I felt like I was getting sick and I really needed to get Sleep and so and so i’m a little bit disoriented and And so I just go Okay, and I should’ve slept that time. Go to sleep. What? She came and got back into bed and went to sleep as well. When I woke up in the morning, I see a very large lamp in several pieces in the corner of the room. And, My wife with her mouth still taped, sleeping peacefully beside me. What had happened, as you can imagine, as we debriefed on this situation, is that she got up to go to the bathroom. She forgot that there was a TV stand at the foot of the bed, which was exactly her height. Really, a part that jutted out was like, Exactly the height of her mouth, which incidentally, another important detail. She also wears a mouth guard as she sleeps for grinding her teeth. So she had on a mouth guard and then it was taped shut. So when her mouth hit the wood, she was kind of protected, but it did. She moved back and hit the table that the lamp was on and then the lamp falls and breaks and then she kind of sits on the floor. Um. You know, and then at that point I was like, I feel bad that I didn’t, I just went back to sleep, but you told me, well you motioned to me to go back to sleep in the moment, and I was kind of disoriented, um, and she ended up being okay, she did end up having a little soreness in the, in the mouth region, but like, no, like, no teeth got knocked out because she had on her mouth guard. Wow, she, I mean, she knows where to put the effort. Yeah, and, uh, we were worried that we were gonna, we’ve never really trashed a hotel room before, you know, I don’t really live that rockstar life, and so I didn’t know what we were gonna do about this. I didn’t know how expensive this lamp was, what they were going to say or whatever. But when we were checking out, Jessie was like, I ran into that TV stand at the foot of the bed. She started with this thing that’s just like, Why’d you put that TV stand in there? And then I knocked over a lamp or whatever and they were like, The guy behind the desk was like, Well, that’s going to be one million euros. This is joking. Okay. And so it sounds like a policeman. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love the people of Portugal. You do? I do. I think they have a great sense of humor. Wow. Um, but I, I, there’s a couple, let me talk quickly about the fanny pack. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I’m going to talk about something I’ve been waiting on that. So, I mean, I haven’t disclosed this, but I’ve had, uh, a fanny pack. For about seven years, you know, I bought one before a before a vacation I bought one of those like packable ones. It’s like a matador brand. It was like this big I have a backpack and a fanny pack that both Fold down to something you can hold in your fist and I just have them in my travel pack all the time It’s a fun idea. I mostly use the backpack if i’m like, oh, we’re going camping. We’re going hiking for the day Yeah, and it’s just a little Dayak. But, um, you know, you have to pay for a lot of things in Euros there. Like if you want, like, if you wanna use the bathroom, you’ve gotta have like a coin, the 50 cent coin and stuff. And like, stuff I just don’t carry when I’m here. And then I’m like, well, I’m gonna be out all day. I need oh, sunscreen to reapply, you know? Well, you know, I have one all the time. I have a, I have a purse. So it’s like, yeah, no, I, I’m not, I’m not trying to sell you on it. Um, I’m saying, but I, so I ended up, anytime we went out. Grab it for not not if we went out on like a date. I I don’t I’ll be honest with you I don’t understand that but it’s fine. You can do I’m saying for me personally. I don’t want the bag I want the bag when I am going out for the day. I’m like, we’re gonna we’re leaving the hotel at 9 a. m We’re not gonna be back until 6. I might need my sunglasses. I might need My sunscreen, maybe we have to show our passport at this particular thing that we’re doing like that kind of thing It was perfect for that and I definitely like found myself thinking like oh, yeah Like this is this is the perfect travel scenario. Then I started thinking about All the things that, mine was pretty small, all the things that you have in yours, and I was, and I found myself thinking, I can’t let myself become dependent on having things that I think I need in this, because then I’ll want to carry it to another thing, and then I have a bag, and whatever advantage I get from the stuff in the bag is outweighed by the having of a bag. But I will say And then I’m right. Tra traveling I also don’t like, I’m really not a fan of having a strap that goes over your clothes. Like I was like, I was wearing a, like t shirts as I was like going out during the day. I was like, this works. But then like one day I had a collared shirt and that was like, the strap was coming up and it was like going under the collar a little bit on one side. And then like, Well, you gotta, you gotta wear it like a fanny pack at that point. Oh, then you gotta, then you have on a big belt with a big bulge on it. Yeah. Yeah. I’m just saying I feel like this trip because I haven’t done like a, a trip this long with this many days out. This was the, this was when the utility of the fanny pack really, it’s beautiful, came home to me, but also a feeling of, Mm-Hmm, It’s a slippery slope. This is a, you could turn into me. This is for a time. Nope, this is for every time. Also, I don’t have, like, I don’t have another pair of glasses. I don’t use Chapstick. I don’t stay hydrated. Which is another thing that I learned. The European, I am European. They don’t freaking drink water like crazy. Look at, look at Jamie. She’s got, Everybody’s got their water bottles. No European people have water bottles. They think we are crazy. Yeah. European people will do what we did. In the 80s and 90s back, and you know, we, it turned out okay, they’ll go out, they don’t have anything, and they won’t drink all day, and then the first thing they drink is a glass of wine, like it’s, it’s like 8 p. m. And, Uh, that was one thing I noticed is that, and it made me feel good because I was like, I would get to the end of a long day like walking around, and I would be like, what if I had to drink today? I’d be like, oh, you’ve had one coffee. And I’d be like, and I’d feel fine. I was like, everyone around me is doing the same thing. So it made me feel very at home. Staying severely dehydrated. Um, because I don’t feel any effect on it. Like it doesn’t translate into anything. I don’t, so I don’t feel it, so I don’t have a compulsion to do it. Um, but Your insides are so unlubed. Yeah, but for so many years, and in every other culture besides America, this is just what they continue to do. And they’re fine. They’re fine. They don’t carry giant water bottles like we do. So I think they’re proving that it’s unnecessary. Yeah, well, I’m addicted to water, man. But, there was a revelation. I experienced something, and uh, there’s going to be a visual aid for this. And also, I’ve prepared a statement. Um, so, I don’t know if you know, I think I told you a little bit about this. Before our tour, we had our tour for two weeks, we had a little bit of break, and then we had this time. This this this little summer break and I knew I was going to be doing a lot of walking in both places So I was trying to find an all purpose shoe and I tried a couple of shoes That were okay. Like I was like I wanted a shoe what you’re saying right now. I just want to point out you’re erasing everything you said about not needing water It’s like I’m trying to find an all purpose shoe. I’m not saying i’m not saying I don’t have some self preservation instincts I’m just saying I try to keep them in check. That’s, that’s all. I don’t follow self preservation to its logical end, which is just to be inside a padded cocoon. You wanted a fashionable shoe that could go the distance. Yeah. Again and again. And it would be comfortable on cobblestone streets, etc. And right before tour, I Ended up buying the shoes that I’m wearing right now, which I will hand you one. Okay. It’s not exactly, I mean, it’s just a white tennis shoe, dude. With a ditch, just a white tennis shoe in the middle of it, just a white tennis shoe, speedboard. This is that brand that everybody has, but there’s, I don’t even know what this brand is called, but the bottom of the shoe of everyone else’s Looks like individuated pieces of foam. On is the brand. And the On Cloud is the shoe that everybody likes. And I do not like the way those look. Yeah, I don’t like it. Cause they look, I don’t like shoe, I wanted a shoe that looked like, like a, like a sneaker. Well you look like a I mean, you look like a European tennis person. Okay, so as you can see, on this one, which is a little bit different, it’s got an R. I did not get this embroidered for myself. Well, that’s the right shoe. This is the Roger, okay? Cloud Tech, Swiss Engineering. This is not a sponsor, by the way, and I’m There’s a Swiss flag on this one. This is a shoe that is a collaboration between On and Roger Federer. See a tennis famed person. This, this is not the tennis. There is a tennis version, like a 10, the version you’re supposed to wear by playing tennis. This is a slightly more casual. I don’t want it to that is that is, well, I’ve got, I have, I have written a letter to Roger Federer that I would like to an open letter that I would like to read at this point. Uh, because these shoes really did something for me. I’m just going to place this one up here. Uh, as I speak. Okay. Just maybe I should, I really don’t want to do this, but I kind of feel like I need to put it on a pedestal. Putting the shoe on your, on your cup. Yeah, but I put my coaster in between. Dear Mr. Federer, Or can I call you Roger? Please let me know when your letter back to me arrives. And yes, you can call me Rhett. In preparation for my recent trip to Portugal, I was on the hunt for a pair of shoes that rose to several occasions. On a date with the lady, and the lady being my wife. She tapes her mouth shut when she sleeps. To compliment a pair of slacks, for a casual chic look, check. Matched with shorts for a reverent tour of a sprawling 15th century cathedral featuring a statue of a weeping Mother Mary full of grace. He’s Catholic. Watching my every move. A trip to the hotel gym during which I have to repeatedly convert kilos to pounds to know what the hell I’m lifting. Dumb Americans, am I right? And most importantly, a day full of traipsing along the uneven cobblestone streets of Porto, Foncho, Malidish, or Lisboa in search of a tasty francesinha or pastel de nata. Check. When the people at ON reached out to you to collaborate. I doubt they knew that they were on the verge of creating what might possibly be the perfect shoe. And I know a thing or two about designing your own shoe. I did that very thing with my friend, Link. Maybe you’ll meet him after you and I become fast friends. It was called the mythical shoe, but it was real. It had a window where you could insert a custom piece of paper. And also it came with a guitar pick. We, we threw a lot at it. But I digress. Just saying that you and I have a lot in common. Based on some rough math, I took approximately 199, 088 steps, give or take a few steps, in the On Men’s Roger Advantage sneaker during my time in Portugal. And good sir, my feet fell more in love with the Roger with each and every step. In the Roger! You have achieved a marriage of form and function reminiscent of the famed Eames lounge chair. The icon of mid century modern design that combines luxurious comfort with a timeless elegant silhouette. It might be the Eames. It might be the Eames. People say it different ways. Or Frank Lloyd Wright’s Falling Water, a marvel of architecture that seems to share the soul of the rocks in which its canyon leavers find their anchors. That’s what the Roger is like. Roger. Haters may be tempted. To accuse you of simply offering an unnecessary modification to that sneaker staple from another icon of your sport, Stan Smith. I’ve owned my share of Stan Smiths and loved each pair, but I say Stan Smith walked so you could run so I could walk in the Roger Advantage. You were also much better at tennis than Stan Smith. But I digress again. Roger, when you made the Roger, you changed the life of my feet, which means you changed the feets of my life. I’m not sure that made sense, but you get it, Roger. Roger. Thank you, Roger, for the Roger. Sincerely, your soon to be best friend, Rhett. The only thing left to do is Roger it. Which you’ve basically done verbally. Look at that. What a great shoe. What a great shoe. Still really holding up. Not a sponsor. We make a living off sponsorships. It is my recommendation. We really need to go so hard on things like that. Unless we’re getting paid a little bit. I mean, good gosh. Sometimes you feel so strongly about something that you just have to write a letter to somebody. Um, last thing I’ll say about Portugal and then I’ll talk a little bit about North Carolina. Oh, okay. Boy, okay. So many Jesuses. Thanks. Catholics. A lot of Catholicism. Can I just tell you that as a Like crucifixes? A person who, both, any and all of the above. As a person who grew up in the Protestant world, um, who spent a lot of time talking about Jesus, talking to Jesus, we were not allowed to see Jesus. You know what I’m saying? Like, no images. We took that particular commandment in a certain way that led us to think that you couldn’t have any Jesuses. Like, there were no pictures of Jesus in our in our churches. We had a cross, but he was gone. He’s not on it anymore. Right. You know what I’m saying? But these Catholic cathedrals from the days of old, they got so many Jesus’s and it doesn’t just, it’s not just one. So you go into these places and I absolutely love these places. And I go, I went into so many, I could do a podcast just about. The religious buildings that I went into. And I wanted to go into the old churches. And I wanted to go into the monasteries. And so we did all that. And, you know The architecture is absolutely ridiculous and the level of detail around every little aspect of these buildings is remarkable. And the fact that you would have like a dude who was working on one part of one part of another. of this church and it would be his life’s work would just be to return to this one spot and work on this thing. And then when he died, his son would just like step in and keep going on this thing that his dad was doing. And, and, and it took 200 years sometimes or more to build one of these buildings. And every single thing was done by hand. And like, you look And there would be like these little medallion things in the middle of these fixtures and you get closer and you realize every single one is different because it was just somebody’s on a whim and like, well, I’m going to do this one, you know, and you can also say, why were they putting all of these resources and time and money into this? These religious places when who knows what the hell was going on around them with people who might have actually needed help. That’s not really the point that I’m making right now. I’m just talking about there was a time in which some idea, some ideology mattered so much to people that they would basically just go and devote all of their resources and all of their time to this one thing day in day out. And then you get to like experience this thing that has stood for all this time and it’s just fascinating to me. But the thing that was the most fascinating, yes, there’s the other religious figures in the saints and the apostles and all these people featured in some of these almost like dioramas. Like you go into these churches and of course there’s the front with all the stuff and there’s usually like some giant. There’s a couple that there were these stairways to heaven and there would be like Jesus either at the top or somewhere. But then all along the sides there are these little like enclaves with scenes. And I likened it to like Jesus baseball cards. Like every version of Jesus. In fact, I was, I was Oh, like scenes from the Bible. I was in a thrift shop in North Carolina a couple weeks ago and They had Elvis cards for sale and it was a stack of like baseball cards with all the different versions of Elvis on them from every movie he had done all his different looks and it’s like 75 different ones. I was like, this is what they got with Jesus in Europe. They got, you know, of course, you’ve got all of the things that happened to Jesus with the like the stations of the cross. But then you got like baby Jesus, you got baby Jesus with a crown, baby Jesus with a crown. Being held by Mary with a crown. I think that’s my favorite. That’s my favorite baseball card. Jesus It’s just this little there was one where is a little baby Jesus. He has like his finger in the air and had a Uh, the little crown. And I was like, it’s like that TikTok baby that said they wanted to go to Disneyland and like held, like held their hand up and said, me, it was very, very much had that vibe so much that I like bought a little tile with that version of Jesus on it. We went to this, um, this place called bomb. That’s how they say Jesus in Portuguese, just to give you an example. Zé Jus? Zé Jus. Zé Jus. Zé Jus. Ah, Zé Jus. Zé Jus. Zé Jus. Bom Zé Jus, which is this cathedral, monastery type thing outside of Braga. And there are these steps that go up, and then there would be like this little, sort of walled off like almost gazebo like thing that on each step, each stage of this thing was like 600 steps. There would be like, you’d look in there and there’s like these statues doing like, this is Jesus when he was doing this. And it would be like the scene. It was like, it just, that’s all they did is they just did all this. And you could walk up those steps. Yeah. Oh wow. It’s like a, it’s a, it’s a world heritage site. No, it’s crazy. So anyway, I, I’m no longer a Christian, uh, but, uh, What I was thinking at the time was, Oh man, it would have been cool to have a little more, all those versions of Jesus. That’s kind of cool. And then I started thinking, because I bought that little tile, I was like, am I, am I now in my apostasy going to start collecting Jesus things? Huh. That’s weird. Maybe. Maybe I should. I don’t, I’m going to say, I don’t think you should, but it could be cool though. I got to have a whole Jesus room. You could, I mean, it is possible. You could possibly do that, but maybe just a Jesus box. A box that I can show people. Yeah, yeah. You wanna see my Jesus box? Who really wanna see it? My Jesus box. Like Roger. You can show that to Roger. I’ll show it to Roger, he’s Catholic, did I tell you that? I said that in the letter. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, so Roger, if you wanna see my Jesus box, uh, during our first, you know, hang. Heh. It will have one thing in it, unless it happens. You know, months from now, because I’m going to grow that collection. Okay. I think you’ll have plenty of time to build a collection before he responds. After, uh, I mean, Jehovah’s witnesses, they don’t even have windows. Talk about other end of the spectrum. Well, the other end of the spectrum could be Jehovah’s Witnesses, but really it’s the put up a metal warehouse in the middle of the country somewhere in the south and call it a church. Yeah. That’s the opposite end. That’s sort of what we come from, which is Well, that’s budget constraints more than, uh, belief constraints. But it’s also very, well, no, the belief constraints Send you in that direction. Yeah, because there is also a like this is just a place the church is the people it’s not the building is so the Attention to any sort of beauty in the space is not that’s actually changing a little bit I heard an architect talking about that like churches are actually trying to be beautiful again without being like budget breakers But anyway after portugal jesus with a laser gun Uh, well laser gun jesus that creates a bit of uh, you know A problem. Timeline. Because, yeah. Problem. Because that technology didn’t exist. Yeah, that’s why I want it. You could probably do Jesus with a laser finger gun. There you go. Yep, yep, yep. I’m assuming he could make lasers. So, after Portugal, which was beautiful, don’t know if I’m gonna go back. Jesus riding a moose. I would like that. I would like that. Well, I mean, if you’re of the Church of Latter day Saints, then you believe that he came to North America, and he probably did ride a moose at the point, at that point. Jesus on monkey bars. Um Just chillin You don’t have to make up new Jesuses when you’re familiar with all the old Jesuses, just so you know. Like, I appreciate this creative exercise, but like Jesus feeding the 5, 000. That was there, I saw that. But, it’s Gorton’s Fish Sticks. So it’s sponsored. Yeah. That’ll be our version when we build our church. Every, every section is sponsored. Yeah. Okay. After Portugal, like I said, I don’t know if I’m going to go back because I’m torn. I loved it. Had a great time. But my instinct is to go somewhere else new because I had, there’s just so many places that I haven’t been. Been there, done that. So got the Jesus card, um, but after Portugal stopped into North Carolina Right next door as you know, we have been working on this cabin My wife has been working on the cabin how much to the cabin and I have stayed there a couple of times now including this most recent time and It’s essentially, I mean, it’s essentially done in terms of like it’s habitable and it’s just there’s a couple of like pieces of furniture and stuff that she is, that she’s finishing putting in a couple of cosmetic things, but I have become, I have familiarized myself, not really, you know, I’ve kind of done it unwillingly with the way a log cabin interacts with nature. Okay. Um, I just, I just didn’t really understand what, what I did know is that. The first time we ever went there. It’s a stacked forest. In the forest, in this state, in the shape of a home in the south where the level of wildlife, you just forget how many bugs there are. You just forget how much nature there is. You come to LA and it kind of, there’s a little bit of this feeling that like we pushed it out. It kind of feels like a movie set sometimes. Like yes, there is nature there. There’s not a bug flying in my face right now. I’m not thinking it’s just a little bit different right and Not not the case in North Carolina, and so the first thing we dealt with was The carpenter bees which I don’t know if I talked about that on the podcast, but basically this cabin is Apparently a hotspot for carpenter bees and carpenter bees are big in the south in general They’re in they’re everywhere if you’ve got like a deck or whatever. They’re these giant You know, they’re giant bees that look like an extra large bumblebee. And they create these holes in wood that’s exactly the same size as their body. And they chew out these perfect circles, and then they go in there, they take a left or a right, and then they create these chambers. Where they lay their eggs and then those come out, continue the life cycle, come back, drill new holes, whatever, go further or whatever. They can do a lot of damage if it just goes unchecked. We’ve been dealing with that. And that was something that like we basically like had somebody come and spray stuff into all the holes to kill. The bees and the eggs and stuff. And then like, they like caulk the holes and stuff. And so I’m, it’s a little bit nerve wracking. You’ve got this place that you don’t, you’re not at very often and you don’t really know what’s happened. Of course, we have family in the area that goes to the house and stuff, but like, just a little bit disconcerting, but we show up, our flight got delayed coming from Portugal to North Carolina, like got delayed like five or six hours. So we ended up getting into. the house at like 2 a. m. Very tired after a long day of travel. We go into our bedroom and there’s two windows, one on each side of the bed, and there are approximately 25 yellow jackets inside the bedroom flying around the windows and up against the windows. Those will sting ya. And I’m like, well, this isn’t exactly what I wanted. This isn’t exactly what I envisioned walking into our bedroom here. And So what I did is I grabbed a vacuum. What? And I started vacuuming them up. Does that work? Yeah. I got all of them. All 50 of them. Wow. And, uh, they were strangely lethargic, I guess because it was the middle of the night. Yellow jackets can be really aggressive. Well, yeah. Um, but they were staying on the window for the most part. And then sometimes they would fly around and then they would land somewhere and I would and I would get them. Wow. And the vacuum was not that powerful. It was like powerful enough to get them, but like you really had to be right on them. So Then we went and slept in a different room We like sealed that room off kind of would like put some boxes at the door And then I was like, I don’t know where they’re getting in. I’m gonna go to sleep now Go to sleep get up go in there. They’re back not as many but probably like Well, they all crawled out of the vacuum cleaner. No, they didn’t. They didn’t crawl out of the vacuum cleaner. Um, cause it, they, I ended up, I sprayed, I like, after I vacuumed them, I took some wasp killer and I sprayed it into the vacuum running to like kill all of them inside there. But also, I don’t think they’re smart enough to get out of the, to like find their way out of the bag inside there and like come up through all the components and stuff. But, um, but I killed them anyway. So, um, So I was like, we got to get an exterminator out here. Right. And they were like, Sterminator can’t be here until Thursday. And this was Tuesday. We got there on Monday night. So I’m like, damn it. We’re going to like, we can’t sleep in this bedroom. I’m going to, what am I going to do? So I go to the hardware store. First thing I did is I like educated myself on yellow jackets. Like I’d already educated myself on the life cycle of the carpenter bee. Now I’m an expert on yellow jackets and I know how they build nests, what they build nests out of and like how, what they’re doing, like how. What they’re doing inside the logs because basically it’s like when you got log a log house It looks like oh, they’re just all perfectly on top of each other, but it’s like uneven logs It’s logs that are not like perfect. Yeah, and so like there’s a there’s these little cracks And crevices all inside of these things and all they need is a little hole the size of their body To get in there and they start building like elaborate nests inside of this whole thing because I would go into the room You And I would listen, and I would hear a crinkling, like a paper crinkling sound in all these different spots. And that’s the nest, I’m making noise inside of the nest. And I’m like, shit, this whole wall is full of these things. And then I find these two holes on each side, where you can see some like, Detritus. Like an entrance and an exit? Yeah like, oh this is where they’re coming out. You can see like dirt and paper stuff, the stuff that they’ve made like the nest out of, that’s sort of like coming out. It’s where they leave their jackets when they go into. Exactly. And. Coat check. But they weren’t like swarming around that. It’s like I would go outside and I would see they were swarming around these two spots were basically almost the exact same level from the inside, right? And so I was like, okay, what I’m going to do is. I’m gonna go to the hardware store. I’m gonna get a shop vac so that I can really up the power of sucking these suckers up And the second thing i’m gonna do is i’m gonna there’s a whole like yellow jacket section in like a lowe’s In North Carolina because they know we’re all dealing with this stuff and apparently it’s a really bad year for Yellowjackets. So there’s literally a whole section of pest control, but then there’s like a section within a section that’s Yellowjacket traps and Yellowjacket, um, killer, which is very specific because It’s this spec, it’s this insecticide, but it has like the WD 40 like tube on it. Mm-Hmm. so that you can stick it into the nest and, ’cause they usually are in the ground. If they’re not in the ground, they’re in some sort of structure and there’s like a hole and you like find the hole and like, and it foams up and fills the inside of it. Oh. So I went and I got a couple of bottles of that. I stuck the, the little tube in there and I emptied the cans in there. And then they kind of started falling out dead, but on the outside, they were still just going bonkers. It was just crazy. I have sucked so many yellow jackets into a shop vac. Probably like, probably 250. Damn. You probably turn that into something like, um. I haven’t looked inside the vacuum, but I’ve got so many, like a yellow jacket patty and that ended up being my system. It was like suck a bunch up and then like spray some insecticide. This is how you spent your days. Um, well, until the, until the exterminator showed up, okay. And the exterminator shows up. And he’s like looking, he like one of them, he shows up and one of them lands on his, And he looks at it and he’s like, that’s not, that’s not a Carpenter Bee. I’m like, well, hell yeah, it’s not a Carpenter Bee. You’re here for the Yellowjackets, man. I think that because we had talked about Carpenter Bees before. But then I was like, it seems like I know more about Yellowjackets than this Exterminator does. Like, he was a young guy, but I was just like, hmm. I spent 17 minutes on the internet and feel like I know everything there is to know about Yellow Jackets, which is not a lot. They’re not really, they’re pretty simple. It’s pretty simple what they’re about, right? Um, but he ended up spraying inside and outside. And we didn’t see any for a couple of days. But then right before we left, I’m like, I still hear this crinkling. Like I’m going to sleep and I’m here. It’s just, it’s so unsettling. Right. And so then the day before we came back, I’m like looking around and I’m, and I go out on this little deck and area outside the bedroom and I go and I look around. The other side because I thought I had seen one flying and in the top right under the roof where these two logs meet That’s where the big daddy nest is. They like come out. They’ve got like a six or eight inch Bulging entry to the nest and that’s where they’re all at And these two little things that I was treating. I was just treating like the back doors you need a bigger shop vac and so um, I had to leave but the Exterminator is coming back and I have a video that is like here’s where the nest is. Please remove this And and treat this feels like a losing battle, doesn’t it? Well, it’s when you’re not your house is gonna get eaten like it like a cartoon What once you once you get on top of it and you start doing the like the treatments and you like pre treat it and stuff Like that you don’t have to worry about it as much but when you’re not there For a few it doesn’t take long. I mean jesse was there like six weeks ago And then all of a sudden in that time they’ve like come in and decided to make the whole wall there You Their nest, but I’ve murdered so many insects With with no remorse. It doesn’t sound like it. I don’t have I maybe there’s something wrong with me. But like I Enjoy it a little bit because I just they annoy me so much and i’m just like You’re defending you’re defending your uh, your territory. Yeah, i’m just like what pick another spot pick a hole in the ground You know, there’s so many other places you don’t need to be here. I’m surprised you never got stung You Yeah, there’s something about once they get inside, they’re not as aggressive. They don’t, they’re like, I don’t think I’m supposed to be here. I gotta get out. I’m gonna go to this window. They don’t know what a window is. It’s very evident. Yeah, neither do Jehovah’s Witnesses. Yeah. Um, so yeah, North Carolina was great, except for that. Okay. I mean, the insects. Boy, the insects. They’re so, and there’s, There’s and there’s other I know some ask me about a wasp. I’ll tell you about them. What about a wasp? Well, you got paper wasps, which are The common wasp which come in a couple of different varieties But usually are pretty like dark brown with maybe a little bit of yellow on them. Okay. Thanks for sharing Uh asked me about mud daubers. Oh, what is that like a dirt dauber? So we called them dirt daubers growing up But mud daubers is the correct name and we also thought that paper wasps were Mud daubers And we were wrong. The mud dauber is a long black and blue. It’s actually kind of beautiful solitary species that builds those like dirt tubes that you see all over the South. And they lay the eggs in these dirt tubes and they live in those holes. And they’re like, they don’t mix and mingle and they don’t, and they’re not aggressive and they don’t really sting. I think unless like really, really backed into a corner, but the paper wasps. And they form those little, like, dangly nests, like you go up under a deck or you look in the corner of a awning and you see those things. He’s got that one little tree trunk holding it, and then it’s the whole thing. Yes, and then all the little clusters. I went around with a, with a long range wasp spray, 27 feet. I was an assassin. 27 feet? Yes, I was killing so many insects. Like, if the insects ever take over and they keep a record of wrongs, I’m gonna be right there with the exterminators in terms of the number of murders that I’ve committed. Gleefully. The vacuum man. Gleefully committing these murders. Shoutback man. Get in. So that was my trip, Link. Okay. I’m glad you’re back. I’m glad you survived. Um, my recommendation is the Roger. Yeah, I got that idea. The Roger Advantage. Yeah. There’s several models. I recommend the Advantage. It really gave me a distinct advantage. I’ll meet him. Oh, if he shows up? Yeah, I’ll meet him. Okay. I’ll meet him. We’ll hear about your, your trip. Introduce him to Lando. Next week. Yep, yep. Lando’s playing tennis, so. Okay. Well, you should get him the Roger. They have the tennis version. Okay, Rhett. No, it’s wonderful. It’s wonderful. Maybe I’ll get that for Lando’s birthday. If he, yeah, there you go. It’s, it’s the end of February, so. Okay. If he makes the team, maybe that could be a gift from you. Okay. In the fall. Ah. Oh, I gotta make the team, huh? That’s interesting. You can kind of give him that incentive. Get your pair of Rogers. Write him a letter. Write Lando a letter and tell him. I only communicate with Lando via letter. I don’t talk directly to him. No, you only communicate about the Roger. Okay. Via letter, I think. Okay. Alright, we’ll speak at you next week. I went to Hawaii and, uh, I came back a, a Tanner man. Lots to share. I’m not, I’m not the man I used to be. I’ll say that. Okay. Hey Rhett and Link, my name is Cam and I’m currently out on the Appalachian Trail hiking from Georgia, Maine. And I’ve been constantly snacking on some Ear Biscuits while I hike. I’ve been on an absolute tear recently, listening to all, all your episodes, old and new. And I really appreciate it. It’s keeping me motivated, keeping me entertained while I’m hiking. And, uh, keep doing what you’re doing. I’m loving it. Thank you.