[Music] welcome to earbiscuits the podcast where two lifelong friends talk about life for a long time I’m link and I’m Rhett this week at the round table of dim lighting we are going to follow up with someone who did not take our advice and is now dealing with the repercussions so you’re going to learn you got to listen to your Bo for you huh uhhuh also you’re going to learn uh what songs we would strip to or someone would strip to on our professional stripper yeah professional stripper is going to strip to songs that a representative of us we’ll tell you what those songs are going to be uh and more but I have to know about yeah your eye problem I finally get to talk to you and share uh to share some visuals that I have been so wanting to share you’ve been personally teasing this to me he’s been saying you’re not going to be able to you’re not going to be able to take it you might have to take a break I’m just going to tell you you might have to take a break and if you’re watching the video might need take a break well you know we’ll be in circles and it’ll be bigger than the two of us it’ll be other people there we we have many circles we have we have friends we have acquaintances we have co-workers we have other people that we see when we’re together and you have to talk to these people about things that you’re not ready to talk to me well I don’t have to but I choose to yeah I know you just rather talk to me only at all the time uh that’s what people would like to believe you would like to be the third wheel in my relationship that’s another thing we’re going to talk about anyway this eye your eye problem and your eye treatments have been something that has trickled out that I’ve heard bits and pieces from other people but you told me that you had video and then a couple of times I’ve shown the video back when we were in New York you were walking down the street and I look by I could hear something my eye procedure I got a video and then you’re showing somebody I think it was Christie Christy loved it Christie is into gross videos and so you showing it to her and I just kept walking ahead yeah okay but do you need to give all the context here yeah so I’ve talked about this a little bit you know I have red eyes and you probably notice this this is the time to clear up a lot of misconceptions well yeah so I have always like since I was a kid had what I thought were just sensitive eyes eyes that got red right and as I got older more and more of the time they were red and then when you start making videos for a living where you put your face on a camera MH um it really amplifies how red your eyes are and I started noticing people would talk about it like oh Rhett looks tired Rhett looks High whatever and I was like oh man maybe I should do something about this so what I started doing many years ago probably 10 years ago is more often than not when we were shooting a video I would put some Visine in now everybody knows I guess everybody knows you’re not supposed to like this isn’t something you’re supposed to do on a regular basis I didn’t know that but well so basically Vine just takes the red out it’s a vasel constrictor so it takes the blood vessels in your eyes and it restricts them and so CU what your the redness in your eyes is from inflammation right from the blood going to them but these Vaso constrictors work in such a way that they have a rebound effect so that it helps a little bit but especially if you use them for multiple days in a row it’s going the problem becomes worse than it was to begin with and not to mention it’s actually not helping the problem that’s making your eyes red to begin with it’s probably exacerbating the problem does that make sense and then started using more intense drops right so thank God for Lumi not a sponsor but you probably have seen these they’ve got the purple cap on them and apparently they work on a different receptor it’s still a Vaso constrictor but the claim is doesn’t have the rebound effect so I started using those whenever they came out like five six years years ago huh now they’re crazy they make your eyes like super super white but and you didn’t use it all the time right you would use it kind of sparingly but over the years I got to a place where I would not go out on a date I would not show up at anything where there was going to be any people definitely anytime I was on camera I’m putting one drop in each eye now again these don’t have the rebound effect but they’ve got like a preservative in them they’re supposed to come out with a preservative free version but I would notice that my eyes were irritated they looked white but they were irritated and they were like kind of scratchy H five years ago right around the same time I started using lumify I went to an eye doctor prepandemic and he looked at him he was like yes you have red eyes um and he was like you might have you might have allergies okay and so we did an allergy test I was mildly allergic to cats and dogs but not to any degree that was actually I thought that may be what it was but I was like I’m not gonna get rid of my dogs you know yeah because then you started talking about how you’re mildly allergic to your own pets and you started taking allergy medication that was unrelated I was taking allergy uh medicine because of like seasonal allergies okay all right all right I actually don’t think I’m noticeably allergic to my pets I and I’ll explain why in a second so more years passed I end up using these drops all the time but and you might be able to see this but like if you watch some episodes of GMM sometimes my eyes will look really red anyway and what was happening is by the end of the day my eyes were so irritated like I showed you that video I brought up that short of me laughing really hard and like my there like my Lids were like swollen on the top and the bottom and very red it it was just a Tik Tok video that someone was passing around yeah and I was laughing and like laughing to the point of crying so that really did it but but you didn’t it didn’t look normal you didn’t look uh it looked bad healthy in the eyes so this year I was like I got to see some I got to talk to somebody and I need to go to a doctor who specializes in dry eye not just an eye doctor who’s going to be like you might have allergies we live in Los Angeles it’s we have access to so many things if you if you have the idea to just all of a sudden access idea some some sort of pretty good link pretty good anybody who you would want to do anything to you you can find it in LA good or bad unless it’s like it involves um uh stem cells then you got to go to I don’t know a different country you got to go to Morocco or something you can well maybe Costa Rica I Costa Rica but uh so I find Dr salani in Beverly Hills Beverly Hills Optometry Beverly Hills Dry eye center now when I start googling about like dry eye symptoms or whatever all of a sudden I’m like oh this is a guy who specializes in dry eyes I mean he can do other he’s an eye doctor he can do other things but like he has created an office that is totally focused on dry eyes now I was like dry ice but I just want to make sure dry ice is a great business don’t touch dry ice but I’m not talking about that it doesn’t help your eyes with your tongue um and the fact that this guy was Focus just I I didn’t think I had dry eyes but I started redditing you know you go on the Reddit threads and of course there’s there’s a whole dry eye subreddit MH and everyone’s saying about their symptoms and stuff and I’m like well maybe I do have dry eyes I just never thought my eyes were dry I just was like my eyes are red and inflamed so I go to my initial appointment and they hook me up to all these machines that like measure your tier film how long your tears how long the film of your tears is on your eyes you know and then also the makeup of your tear film and then the inflammation and they look at your cornea to see whether or not it’s irritated and let me just say it was all bad news for the redster um that’s me is it I’m talking about myself I’m going to ask this now so we don’t have to come back to it later is this covered by insurance or is this like this is like um super special it is I I actually I talked to Dr salani about this in my last visit cuz I was like you know I I told him when I got through my four initial treatments which was the package that I got that I was going to talk about it on the podcast uh but I was asking about insurance and he was like he kind of I can’t really remember everything he said but basically the process by which something becomes covered by Insurance it takes a long time and a lot of these treatments are very new and are still like under study and you know so they they’re basically conducting eye experiments on rich people yeah well and people who are desperate say I I am blessed with the money to be able to pay for these things but there’s a lot of people who are just desperate because this can be a debilitating problem and I I totally understand the whole KN covered by insurance and kind of being on The Cutting Edge like when Christy went through her her brain injury after a year plus two years plus of trying to figure out a way forward or to way to move past it um yeah the desperation really kicks in and you start you you you get a lot more open to things including spending more money than you H for some people have which is a difficult it it’s difficult and there’s not a lot of doctors eye doctors who focus on this and also have the equipment that he has so he has people fly in from all over the country Beverly Hills baby and uh because people are just people are desperate it can be it can be something that when every time somebody looks at at you the thing that they’re thinking about is how dry how red your eyes are that is that’s not cool man it’s not cool right now you could do the thing where you just wear the tinted glasses like Bono which you did a little bit of and I have started doing especially after one of my treatments when my eyes are really inflamed like I did the other but that’s cool though that would have been another route well I am going to be relying on that from time to time because I’m going to the treatments will continue but let me get into what back to your basically my diagnosis was um that my tear film especially on my left eye which my left eye has always been more red than my right eye evaporates almost instantaneously which it’s not supposed to do that you’re supposed to have like a coverage of protection on your your cornea for many seconds I don’t know how many what’s normal but mine’s not normal especially blink and it like Recs so two things happen this is something else that I learned is that you have tear ducks that are releasing like you know tears into your eyes but then all along each of your eyelids you have myomi glands which are glands that secrete oils and the whole Magic that is happening in your eyes is that you’ve got tears and oil that’s mixing together and of course when the oil is into the tear film that makes it last and it doesn’t evaporate immediately right because it’s got this oil consistency so what he did is he looked at me and he was like your tear film’s horrible um especially on the left eye and then he was like look at your cornea especially on the left eye and he had done some Imaging thing where it basically looked like a monochromatic image and there were scratches on the surface of my left eye what and he said imagine someone’s washing a window and there’s no lubrication on it and they’re just like taking like rocks and like that’s what’s happening every time you blink oh your your eyelid is the window washer yeah raw dog I’ve got you have stuff constantly getting into your eyes but most people are like flushing it out with their tears and it’s lubricated but if your eye is dry then that’s not happening and then he said so what you also have and one of the reasons that all this stuff is is contributing to your T tiar film is that you have myomi gland dysfunction which means that sorry my my bonium glands are not functioning my bonium my myomi they not proding they’re not really producing oil back in my 20s when I was um you know starting my family and starting to think about purchasing things like a home yeah uh that was when I found out about uh a little boo boo that was on my uh credit score that somehow you avoided that apartment we lived in where we ended up writing our names in the bottom of the shower with the shower tape but I didn’t write my name on the lease I think was yeah I don’t know how you got out of that but my credit score suffered and um took me a while to get out of that hole that I dug for myself well we’ve all hit a point where we realized it’s time to make some serious money moves take control of your finances by using a chime checking account with features like no maintenance fees and fee free overdraft up to $200 here’s how it works set up direct deposit in your chime account and after a qualifying direct deposit of $200 or more chime will notify you to enroll and spot me with an activated debit card Chim will spot you up to $200 when you exceed your balance your next direct deposit is applied to your negative back bance chime never charges fees or interest for using spot me today chime has spotted members over 30 billion and now you can give your friends a boost eligible members get complimentary boost to temporarily increase a friend spot me limit and when you give a boost your friends can boost you back to temporarily raise your limit make your fall finances a little Greener by working towards your financial goals with chime open your account in 2 minutes at chime.com that’s chime.com chime feels like progress banking services and debit card provided by the bank Court Bank NA or stride Bank NA members FDIC spot me eligibility requirements and overdraft limit Supply boost are available to eligible chime members enrolled in spot me and are subject to monthly limits terms and conditions apply go to chime.com disclosures for details hey ear biscuit listener Etsy knows what kind of holiday gifting reactions you’re looking for this year you want squeals of delight happy tears and spontaneously written songs of joy right mhm well to get reactions like those you need to make sure everyone on your list feels heard with handmade handpicked and designed gifts from small shops on Etsy that’s been my experience with Etsy is that anytime I was looking for something that was thoughtful like thoughtful to someone’s specific tastes or personality and even sometimes my own taste I’ve gotten some stuff that’s just like stuff you can’t get anywhere else other than Etsy yeah Etsy makes it so simple to find original items that will make whoever you’re shopping for feel extra special when they open that box it’ll be Love at First gift the kind of love you can only get when a gift is truly thoughtful and perfect for that person shop Etsy this holiday season for personalized jewelry custom artwork cozy style items vintage pieces and Home Decor to celebrate all your favorite people and their specific kind of special for original gifts that say I get you Etsy has it I am the king of obscure like semicon sequential but not life-threatening medical problems okay I don’t know just nagging maladies yeah just like little things they really add up so anyway uh did I say ocular rosacea yeah now normal rosacea is on the skin I thought uh yeah so rosacea I think is just sort of a broad term for inflammation okay so what it means it when you have ocular rosacea is that the tissues around and in the eye also suffer from inflammation that can be triggered by anything that causes inflammation it’s different for different people it might be spicy food or coffee or chocolate all the things that we love we being me in this case um so anyway he’s like so you’ve got the you have these issues and the first thing was I I don’t know if if you haven’t had a lot of medical uh maladies this is maybe you won’t relate to this but if you had you will understand this there’s something about talking to a medical professional like when I these diagnoses as I was getting them like was like a weight being lifted off of me because when you go to a doctor and he’s like well you might be allergic to something and he doesn’t even really look at your eyes which is this is the reaction that so many people get from eye doctors when they’re talking about dry eye because it’s just like they’re not educated on it and they don’t have any I don’t they’re not interested in treating it or I I don’t know what the deal is but when you go and and they confirm your suspicion like oh you do have a problem this isn’t just you’re being sensitive about this but you you have a legitimate problem and here are the uh these are the symptoms you you’re having and these are the causes and by the way so first of all you that’s a great feeling the second thing is and we can do stuff about it yeah what I hear you saying is that it’s easy to treat symptoms just throw drops in your dry eyes but not getting to the root cause I’m saying that but I’m saying that many people who feel like there’s something wrong they go to a doctor and the doctor doesn’t really confirm their suspicions and I know doesn’t know enough hypochondriacs like me can that that can be a problem and you don’t need everything confirms sometimes but when you know that you’ve got a legitimate problem it’s like oh yeah your left eye is worse than your right eye because of this specific reason let me show you some images to confirm that like that’s a reassuring feeling because you feel like now you can begin a journey to actually take care of it well let me tell you a little bit about that journey and show you some stuff he also said that your eyes didn’t close all the way I heard you say no so I told him that uh because I was like you know I think one of the reasons my left eye might be worse than my right eye is that I have observed it’s bigger sometimes in videos um when I blink that the left eye won’t completely close which again very common problem like a lot of people it’s not not anything you would ever notice but if they when they you watch them blink one eyes are not quite getting all the way there and then maybe when they’re sleeping one eye isn’t totally closed so creepy I suspect that that’s happening crusty with with my I never really had had don’t have any crust never it’s never I don’t have sleep in the eye maybe I need to is your left eye bigger than your right eye or is your left eyelid shorter than your right eyelid uh I haven’t had that uh measured or diagnosed you need to figure that out but there’s really nothing you can do about that and there is a surgery for getting like your eyes like put further back in your head but that is not I’m not a candidate for that because I need to opposer that my eyes are so deep in my head it’s not a problem for me you know you can’t see them you can’t see my eyes at all right now when I put my eyebrows down so here’s the thing that that we did he had he said I’m going to put you on and he said we could start today day one while I was there he was like we can go ahead and do all the things that I’m recommending and this is where the fun starts so the first thing he did was because you were like go for it yeah I was like I I don’t live close to Beverly Hills I’m very busy I’m here let’s do everything you’re willing to do right now uh and so the first thing he did was he put these metal guards into my eyes what what the hell what what are you tell so he gave you he he gave you a full contact lens that’s made out of metal that went under your eyelids that has a uh Rod coming out of it and then he got into the picture oh my God he he he uh how did you even know that he was taking a picture well because see through that right no it’s metal I cuz I said I want to take pictures of this because I’m going to talk about it on my podcast what in what in the [ ] crap oh my God like I can’t hold on I’m not done looking at this okay well if it’s you’re GNA go this slowly with every little piece of this going to take forever a metal clo completely covering your entire eyeball how did that feel uh well he puts deadening drops like numbing drops into your eyes first now first of all you’ve worn conts and you’ve also worn full scer contacts but it didn’t have like a metal rod coming off the front of it honestly it was fine it okay he also like he puts these drops in your eyes so that that your eyeball gets numb okay so so then the reason he did this is because he’s about to shielding my eyes from this intense pulsating light treatment now this is a treatment that people get done for like wrinkles and stuff like that like you can get this they put this gel on your face and then like like it’s like a laser but it’s incredibly pulsed light it’s not like one of those lasers that’s like taking off a surface of skin okay it’s stimulating the skin it’s like shocking the skin and it hurts like hell but not that bad and again I was like just on your eyelids or the edge of your ey so he goes he he goes all around the eyes and then he turns it way down down and goes on the eyelids and the idea here is that when you do this you’re stimulating all of the tissues here because he’s trying to get these glands activated so they’ll start pumping out oil and doing their job because that’s that’s a big part of my problem okay so he does that and it was a little shocking literally and uh I was like okay this is this is a lot this is a lot but not really given the fact that I’m willing to I’m willing to go through whatever to solve the problem so then the seconding no I was not whimpering not yet then the second thing is he does is he takes something that’s very similar to those metal things but they’re they feel like they’re rubber or plastic and then they have a tube that’s coming out of them and he has to tape them tape them to your eye oh my God R so this is called lipiflow I think that’s the name of it and essentially what he’s about to do is he’s about to heat my eyeballs he’s gonna melt your eyeballs man he’s cooking my eyeballs a little bit with with liquid coming out of those tubes no no it’s just they’re so they’re grabbing onto my they grab onto your eyeballs and it hooks up to this machine and then the M for like 12 minutes the machine is like doing like like making noises and stuff and you feel your eyeballs and your eye sockets getting warm and it’s just like the things are like moving like pulsating and different different like uh patterns damn and again this is to get everything flowing so then once he had done that he said okay now what we’re going to do is we’re going to express your glands your my bonium glands okay self-expression I I champion in that but like doctor assisted expression of any gland I’m wary so again all along your eyelid top and bottom you’ve got these little glands now let me just tell you what is supposed to happen What probably happens in your eyes if you were to grab a hold of your eyelid with some forceps that are specially made for this and squeeze on your eyelids you would see oil come out of them the consistency of olive oil okay wow okay let’s watch what happens when you do this to me I would well I would want to see that happen to anybody let’s see what happens when you do it to me so he with one hand he’s filming you with the other hand he’s squeezing your eyelid he’s got a machine that films he I’m hooked up to this thing where my chin is in this thing and there’s a camera and so it’s he doesn’t have to think about filming it okay good okay so here he goes what is this the okay just watch you see how that oh my God now watch he’s just gra oh it’s Z fits it’s oh my gosh yeah like it’s like toothpaste coming out puss worms coming out of your it’s like Dr pimple popper oh my God it just keeps going it just keeps happening oh and he’s just grabbing oh my god look more oh what is it’s just it’s just they’re clogged they’re it’s like oil and dead [ ] I don’t know what it is look look at all these look at all these look at all these oh worm terms dude I am sorry oh my God then I’m watching this okay so good news and bad news link he did that all around the bottom and the top and the bottoms were worse than the tops and the bottoms are worse than the tops in terms of pain or in terms of PFF oh I didn’t talk about the pain so yeah another thing he said was warn you for and how much did it hurt uh I often I I don’t want to scare people away from this because it’s I actually when I have an appointment I like get excited about it I look forward to it because it’s so it’s effective and I’ll explain that in a second but when your glands are clogged like mine it hurts he was like it’s also not really supposed to hurt like if he were to do that to your eyes it would be you know it’s not comfortable to have somebody grab your eyelids with a with forceps but the tenderness and the pain is actually related to the dysfunction of the gland as well so I kind of felt like I was going to vomit and me too right now like as he was doing it I was like oh I got to tell him to stop but I was like no I no matter how bad pain gets in in medical situations I never like raise my hand or like tap out I don’t know it’s too prideful like if I get a massage and somebody is I’ll go before I’ll say anything you know what I’m saying and so so you did whimper I was like oh I I’d be like I’d be like damn you said you damn yeah yeah yeah you said damn and uh he was like oh well next time I can give you more of the the numbing drops which honestly he did that the next time and it doesn’t like your eyelids are not as impacted by that like so well what about a pill well what about Twilight well that would be totally over the top and unnecessary it’s not that painful it’s just in fact you you you were you you almost V it in your own mouth cuz it hurt so bad well I was just like whoa I feel like I could throw up but I didn’t and each time I’ve been I’ve been four times and the last time I went which was last Friday I was like oh this is much less painful now because it’s actually beginning he’s saying that’s progress that’s well he show he showed me so there’s no reason to watch it’s just because it’s not as exciting as this oh less it’s more videos but less stuff’s coming out instead of it being like a [ ] snake coming out like this and and a lot of the glands now it’s just like a sort of like like it looks like a volcano full of yellow liquid kind of just like he so he said this is these are the four stages healthy is oil comes out unhealthy is milky or yellow liquid comes out more unhealthy is toothpaste comes out like me and then really unhealthy is nothing comes out because the glands have died and they are not producing anything he’s like if you didn’t come into me over time eventually the glands just will go a lot a lot of people have totally non-functioning myomi glands and they’re just dealing with dry eye all the time and then they’ve got to just put drops in or whatever mhm so so you’ve been for three out of four sessions no I’ve been all four okay so and I’m not done just my case is SE moderate to severe but let me just say I don’t feel good so I’ve been I’ve done this I’ve done this four times probably you see it Jenna I don’t want no thank you no thank you I’ve been four times probably over the past four months and I also have a number of like drops and then I’m got like you keep your eyelids like washed in the morning and the night and then there’s like hot compresses that you do throughout the week there’s there’s a whole regimen that I’m on but a combination of all these things for the past month now you might look at my eyes and be like well they look the same well that’s because every single time you’ve ever seen me on camera in the past 10 years I’ve had had eye drops in I haven’t put eye drops in for five weeks for anything that we’ve shot oh and you and you’re feeling relieved that now you’re not causing any ulterior problems well and also I’m on the road to recovery but beyond that at the end of the day my eyes feel good so at the end of a day of shooting anything that we’ve shot where I put these drops in where I put the whitening drops in my eyes just feel bad cuz I wasn’t doing anything to treat the problem I wasn’t doing any lubricating drops or anything it just my eyes would feel like sandpaper by the end of the day and then I would just go home and they would get super super red at night and then I would wake up the next day and they would look like what has this man been through and then I would get to work put the drops in and then no one would notice but now I don’t have to I I don’t have to do that now there are certain circumstances maybe I’m having like an especially inflamed day or whatever when I could use the drops but I can use them as needed I this is I got to say I’m pretty freaking excited about this look at that and so I’m going now I’m going probably you’re a middle-aged white man talking about a revolutionary medical procedure on a podcast congratulations yeah I’m in an elite group um every six weeks at this point um I am going to be going and then there’s a couple of get that squeeze there’s a couple of more stages that we can get into there’s some probing that can be done if but my glands are actually responding so that’s the story it’s a little long sorry for those of you if you’re if you fast forward it through all that and joining us now welcome you might have made someone’s life better you know besides your own yeah so by sharing this heroine story yeah and I will say unfortunately this stuff is uh especially when you just do every single thing that they’re willing to do it’s this is exorbitantly expensive stuff and it’s unfortunate that uh but it’s it’s all very very new technology like there’s only a few places that have this stuff so I my heart goes out to the people who are not in a position to do that but I think that there’s a a lot of steps between where I was and where I am right now where you don’t necess like there are people who can be like Oh I’m just going to start putting these lubricating drops in and I’m going to start doing warm compresses there are lots of things you can do without necessarily doing the expensive s treatments that will help your eyes a whole lot I was doing nothing except treating the Cosmetic issue and just making the problem worse you feel empowered you feel like your own Advocate um it’s good sure I’m glad so thank you to Dr salani for uh all the help that he has brought wow and yet do you you have a a new friendship too yes you going to play golf with him that’s what you do with like Beverly Hills doctors um I don’t know if if I don’t know if he’s a coffer oh oh god really I can tell by the way he was gripping and squeezing those eyelids we have good conversations while he’s sitting there squeezing on my eyelids you know if somebody’s going to sit there and squeeze on your eyelids you might as well get to know them MH you might might as well get to liking it yeah uh you could also get to liking Good Mythical weekend every Saturday I just want to give a little plug here um well last Saturday and the next two Saturdays we’re doing a short little run of Good Mythical weekend we did it over the summer so like this is when the crew lets loose uh we let them um play highly formatted games and just have a good time it’s longer format conversational gamesmanship amongst uh funny friends that’s what that’s what happens on Good Mythical weekend uh check out last Saturdays and the next two Saturdays as this comes out so let’s get to a voicemail let’s hear it hi R link my name is Jesse and I’m from Michigan and I need your advice as to how best to convince my sister and her fiance that the three of us should live together forever because I don’t like living alone but I’m also not in the market for a partner and the sound of a triple income household sounds quite nice any help is appreciated thank you H third Wheeling permanently in a Rel relationship um interesting I mean I guess from her perspective she’s got like a a good enough relationship with with both her brother-in-law and her sister to like want to live with them you know oh I thought to have the courage to ask for this um we don’t this is all coming from her perspective we don’t necessarily know if they’re if they feel the same way about her right but let’s just assume that this is not I mean this is someone who chooses who’s made one incredible life choice to listen to this podcast right that’s um which is a great IND it’s a great indication that maybe you’re not an idiot you know right you know you’re thoughtful well-rounded independent in the places that you need to be adult self-aware enough to know that this is not an outlandish request but self-aware enough to know that you might need our help in order to make it happen y because it’s a little bit weird you know it’s a little bit weird well it’s not unprecedented and might I just say that you know multifam what do you I don’t know what M there’s multigenerational hous generational homes yeah right this is the this is the norm for most of humanity this whole idea that we would all have our little spaces where our little nuclear families that’s a pretty new idea we’re still we’re still working on it we’re still trying it out you know I feel like it’s going okay for me but I will say that we’re not nearly as connected with our families as most other cultures are even when we call something a mother-in-law Suite what we mean by that in real estate terms is a separate apartment so that the whoever’s living there let’s just say that hypothetically they’re a mother andlaw have you gone into real estate they I’m I’m what you said we are you doing some on the side I thought I saw you want to sign I I I know the world of real EST at any moment I could get a real estate license I thought I saw you along with everybody else everybody thinks they can just get a real estate license on the bench but no that wasn’t me oh okay I’m not I don’t have bench ads I don’t have a license okay I just have the belief that at any moment I can get one which is a common belief held by people who aren’t yet real estate agents right yep mother-in-law Suite is completely independent you got everything that you need so that you don’t have to technically ever see the Mother-in-law kitchen’s in there kitchen’s in there that’s a mother-in-law Suite A Bonafide mother-in-law Suite has a kitchen and a bathroom and separate entrance separate entrance wow mhm okay MH so a sister-in-law Suite could be the same thing from you know his perspective and so let’s let’s assume that that’s not the situation that’s being proposed that’s going to make it easy let’s assume that there’s one Kitchen in this home if you’re willing to pay for a separate entrance even though you’re sharing a kitchen like you find your own way in and your own way out that I think that’s what you you you need to have a semblance of separation and maybe that’s just a door that you didn’t really need but I think it’s worth it to invest in that a new door your bedroom that you pay for yeah you pay for that so you can go in and out without having to walk through any doesn’t have to be a normalized door it could be a little door it could be a doggy siiz door right as long as you can get in and out of it yep matter of fact we don’t want to do too much construction if your sister and brother-in-law can’t get through the door that may be better so honestly it could just be the window no but but you need to make a statement and you need to you need to put a door you but you could build a nice set of steps to the window so make the okay all right find window yes you can build steps to your window you make a porch at your window so you walk up and then you get into a somersault position and roll into the house yeah you know you’re going to have to figure out how to lock it I mean hatch on the roof could also work with like some sort of a hatches on the roof are notorious for for leaking yep you got can never see them so we’re not recommending the hatch on the roof really hard to seal um and and maybe you need I think you’ve got to treat your room like a college dorm room in that you got to have mini fridge microwave toaster oven air fryer I don’t know how crazy this needs to get but call call the fire authorities for this part of it you what you have to do is you have to convince them that there is a scenario in which they would never see you because they need to know that that’s an option right now you might get along you might watch movies together and they might be the kind of people who will just sort of let that happen but slowly let resentment build and so you have to meter yourself out and so you basically need to be like a thief in the night for you need to be able don’t steal from your sister definitely don’t do that I have a a grounded and you know a lifelong perspective on this having observed it okay secondhand um and talked to my mother who observed this firsthand um my mom grew up in a house with both of her parents Clyde and Lucille that’s my Nanny and PaPa but um from I believe it was early High School it might have been late middle school for my mom Nanny’s youngest sister my Aunt Vicky moved into the house with them now she was uh single um she’s since she she passed away a few years ago yep Nanny had passed away a few years before that um did she have an air fryer uh not they did not have an air fryer so nanny was the oldest sister of uh I believe it’s nine siblings and Vicki was the youngest so they were they were many years apart and yes in fact my mom and Vicky were pretty close in age closer than your than much closer than her sister yeah um to the point where uh so that I mean there was a child in this situation my mom lived uh upstairs in the house and in the back bedroom Nanny Papa had they had they had the separate beds thing mhm so it’s just another actually it’s another data point actually for this story that like I don’t I don’t know exactly how but they had separate twin beds on either side of of the room yeah and it’s a very common thing amongst older people I think it’s becoming more common and becom more common again and um they were still in the same room though which I thought was nice Vicky had her own room on the other side of the house but they shared not only the kitchen but they also shared a bathroom who shared the bathroom everybody there was one bathroom in the house one bathroom in the house oh my Lord um and uh Nanny never drove she never learned how to drive a car after when she was um when she first took a lesson ironically from my mom’s second husband’s mom’s car she drove the car she tried to pull it out of the barn but instead of backing up she drove forward through the barn busted through the barn and never drove a car again for the rest of her life so a Vicki people would drive her around and Aunt Vicky and her were really tight she’d drive her around everywhere that they went that like when my papa was working or didn’t want to go anywhere the two of them could go and do stuff together okay and in fact they work together at the same shirt manufacturing Place shirt factory in lington Lillington across from bir’s Drive-In over there where the um oh where it splits it’s called Redcat now yeah where it splits where the Burger King is she worked there her they both worked there their entire lives like communing together inspecting and folding shirts together coming home together um and as far as I can tell you know she she remained single her entire life and she just lived there her entire life I mean fast forward to when my papa passed away in 1998 um you know it that was difficult but it was mitigated by the fact that like nanny wasn’t left alone she had this sister that was she was close to all of her sisters but like for them to be that close it was it was nice and as Nanny started to age Vicky took care of Nanny on like a moment by- moment basis all the way until she passed away at home during covid right um so there were a lot of practical benefits to their bond I never really got a handle on what my papa thought about it because like from my youngest age it was always like I’m going to visit Nanny and Papa and aun Vicki will be there sometime was just the reality to a different Church Vicki went to a different church so like that on Sundays when we visit half the time Vicki wouldn’t be there I wonder how that happened so it was like they had some separation that’s an interesting choice but my mom and Vicki it was it was a difficult relationship between the two of them because when she was going into High School it was all of a sudden there’s my aunt lives with me but she’s close to my age it was like having another sister that like my mom having a sister like almost like nanny had another grown daughter right so they had a strained relationship I believe ever get in a fist fight I don’t think they ever got in a fist fight no but it was you know it was I think there might have been some jealousy there that like as mom was like moving into this pivotal point in her life growing up thinking about you know grad going through graduation high school moving out of house it was like it I mean there was some there was some [ ] to navigate but I think that they just kind of like made the best of it the two of them right it was a little bit of like they weren’t the closest because her and Nanny were so close and I think that as Mom moved out of the house it felt a little there there might have been a little jealousy you know that that was part of the D sharing one bathroom alone with your parents yeah is a is a source of right conflict but then you throw your aunt in there as well um so they made it work they made it work but it it’s it’s it was a little bit different well you raised a a different another aspect of this Str some relationship you got to be able to Jessie it might be a you might need to provide a service so because we’re not talking about a kid yet have yeah so Vicki is the chauffeur she’s yep so that’s an important important necessary service she would she would cook she would clean she would do stuff well I think that it’s a she contributing that I think that if you are going to be the third wheel in this home you actually have to have an outsized portion of the providing services to the home I think like it has to be at 33 plus percent you got to earn your keep really because they’re in a relationship and the typical thing would be that they have their own place and you’re having to talk them into it I think one of the things is like hey not only am I going to build some steps up to the window and whatever your version of that is but I’m going to do the following things to contribute and they be like okay well you know it would be nice to have somebody do X Y and Z so we don’t have to do it I think you have to offer some Services yeah now the way that their house was laid out Vicki could go in the door that they all went in and she could hang a right and go directly into her bedroom and then on the other side of her bedroom she could go out and go directly into the bathroom that was shared by everybody and then everybody else when they walked in instead of going right into her bedroom you could walk to the left in the kitchen and then you could Circle all the way around the house go from the living room to the you’ve been in there yeah to the bedroom to the there were two doors into the bathroom no there was one door into the bathroom but were two two doors into Vicky’s room and the whole the whole the house was a circle basically there was no hallway just a big circle okay so it was I don’t know I miss him it worked for me being the grandchild cuz I just had it having Aunt Vicki that was like almost having like another uh a second Nanny like having a a third Grandma well I think this is this is becoming more and more common housing is not affordable the people are trying to find creative Solutions a lot of people have um roommates and of course people in relationships with trying to bring in that double income but yeah let’s throw in a third person and as long as you can make it work and you and youve set your boundaries I just think that that I think we’ really done BR some services with the services and entrance and exit we got this you got this you can do it but if you’re talk directly to your brother-in-law not don’t just work through your sister you you got to establish a direct line of communication about this specifically and you got to press hard to get buying verbal Buy in multiple times three different occasions at least you have to get you have to break open this conversation with him and get and and get the same response three times you got to press hard for a different response to certify this and you got to do the same with your sister too but don’t be working through your sister and hearing secondhand don’t you be doing that that’s a bad idea because you’re going to have to have that level of open communication between the three of you if you’re going to share the space yeah you’re going to be smiling each other’s poo poo yep nothing brings people together like that learning a new language really comes in handy when you’re traveling also if you’re watching shows in a different language that’s fun or just to improve your brain in any of those scenarios in comes Rosetta Stone the most trusted language learning program available on desktop or as an app that truly immerses you in the language you want to learn they’ve used trusted experts for 30 years with millions of users and 25 languages offered some of which include Spanish French German Korean Japanese Dutch and Arabic it’s designed for fast language acquisition with an intuitive process so you pick up a language naturally first with words then phrases then sentences their built-in true accent feature is an awesome addition that gives you feedback on your pronunciation so you truly learn to speak like a pro a lifetime membership has access to all 25 language courses Rosetta Stone offers at an amazing value of 50% off do not put off learning that language there’s no better time than right now to get started you can get Rosetta Stone’s lifetime membership for 50% off visit rosettastone.com that’s 50% off Unlimited access to 25 language courses for the rest of your life redeem your 50% off at rosettastone.com today ear biscus is brought to you by better help you know what I just want to take a moment to give a shout out of thanks to my therapist thank you my therapist who I’m not going to give the name of because I want to keep that to myself okay along with everything that I share with my therapist thank you for being the type of person that I look forward to sharing things with that other people don’t get to hear well that’s great because this month is all about gratitude and along with the people in our lives we like to give shout outs to like your therapist there’s another person we don’t get to think enough ourselves oh it’s sometimes hard to remind ourselves that we are trying our best to make sense of everything and in this crazy world that ain’t easy here’s a reminder to send some thank yous to the people in your life including yourself we’re huge advocates for therapy so if you’re thinking of starting give better help a try it’s entirely online designed to be conveni flexible and suited to your schedule just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and you can switch therapists at any time for no additional charge let the Gratitude flow with betterhelp visit betterhelp.com today to get 10% off your first month that’s betterhelp hp.com let’s we have a followup right on a previous situation we do hey guys this is Jamie um I called a few weeks ago and got advice from you about how to handle my stepmom getting a job working in the school that I teach in yes and so just a followup she got the job she’s in my building and she is regularly in my classroom wanting to hang out or trying to hang out with me at lunch or trying to text me about family stuff while I’m trying to teach so um any follow-up advice please help thank you love you guys bye See this is the one you did you want our advice now that you didn’t take our advice what was our advice didn’t we say I remember it was good we said to sabotage this right right yeah you guys said uh to not necessarily give great feedback or to the to the boss to the boss not necessarily putting her down but just being like H maybe don’t hire her yeah and then you guys also said to maybe talk to the stepmom and be like maybe it’s not the best that we work together what say so what what what part of that wasn’t brilliant it was all brilliant it was so all brilliant but apparently not brilliant enough maybe it was late to be followed okay I’m going assume that you didn’t take the advice because by the time you listened to the podcast she had already swooped in and gotten hired and that’s not on you so we’re willing to give more advice you know what trying to be that’s a really good point link I don’t know how much we’ve been thinking about the time that has elapsed we’re we’re so selfless we’re going to take this on ourselves okay we’ll fly out there where do you live here we go we’re going to we’re going to give you more brilliant advice to get her fired as soon as possible um I think what she’s already done is grounds for firing you know um bothering you like infringing on I think you got to go to the boss I think you got to go to the vice principal the per whoever’s and you got to say this this woman will not leave me alone well in any good boss is she’s related to me by marriage yeah this any good boss is going to say well I think you should talk to her about it have you talked to her about it so we have to go there first or you be why did you hire her you know you you know that we’re related now see now you’re jeopardizing your own standing with the boss you can’t do that yeah quit you’re just GNA have to quit listen you’re gonna have to start over somewhere else yeah I mean this is very simp I mean mother-in-law you got you know they got there’s got to be separation well but now you’re in a situation it’s what I heard is happening is that she’s coming into your class she wants to hang out she wants to get lunch together and she’s texting you about family stuff during the day and so now you now you really have to have that conversation you really got to have that conversation just trying to think of another way is there a more fun way all right I got another idea to push this to the side I mean yeah you can just have a direct conversation you can be adult about it but you could all right strap in because this is not going to this is not going to be easy um good you’re GNA have to fake your own death there you go uh but what you got to do is you’re what you got to do is you’re going to have to talk to your administrator about this and tell them this is what you’re gonna do this is this is quite far yeah I not I wasn’t ready for this okay well I’m just saying you gotta you’re going to fake your own death and then immediately become the substitute for yourself what okay you going to need a wig yeah at least a wig you might need facial reconstruction yeah surgery and it just depends on how serious you are about this the type of person that your mother-in-law doesn’t like is who the type person you need to start looking like yep yeah yeah so do some research about that what are her biases right but uh you’re going to have to reinvent yourself if you unless you’re willing to just have a conversation and about boundaries but if you’re not willing to do that you’re going to have to fake your own death get other people to understand that it’s still going to be me but I need y’all to call me llene or whatever the new name is going to be why don’t why doesn’t um what what if you went to your BOS no don’t go to your boss what if you went to your mother-in-law and you said I’ve gotten feedback from the boss and they’re saying that we’re we’re frightening too much like people are people are starting to talk about how we’re related by marriage and it’s just not the type of thing that that our boss wants to see put it on the boss but then my gosh I don’t want I don’t want to Jee job she’ll go and talk to the boss and then it’ll be caught for lying here’s another thing you could do there’s a pavlovian path here which is you begin to shock her any behavior that she is doing that you don’t like what you do is you have some kind of response to not reinforce it but to disincentivize it so one thing is um you might find something that you’re allergic to uh mildly allergic but enough for you to break out in hives and maybe close your windpipe up just a little bit uhhuh not not to the point of actually creating a serious emergency so this you got to really dial this in maybe maybe don’t worry about impeding your breathing let’s just go with hes no wheezing just you could fake wheezing just break just break it out I want you to begin maybe it’s like a capsule of like Ragweed or something like that that you keep in your gums like somebody who’s going to court and got cyanide just in case they get convicted and they try to kill themselves oh God you got like rag weed up here okay anytime she shows up you bite it and she’s going to get convinced that you’re allergic to her uhhuh and she’s going to be like every time I show up my daughter-in-law or whatever the relationship is I seem to cause problems and she will slowly Retreat you’re going to suffer for this but it’s not as bad as facial reconstructions are no it’s not no it’s not and it’s not as bad as a direct conversation which must be avoided at all costs yeah yeah yeah you know it’s it that’s going to hurt too bad it’s going to hurt too bad I mean you could just avoid her say my father kind of did that every time he’d have to take me shopping he’d break out in hives oh really yeah yeah have to leave we’d have to leave yeah he couldn’t stand it going into going into stores going into a mall breaking out knives it’s tough because of all the the fragr fragrances fragrances yeah I’m allergic to shopping as well yeah I get so tired so quick I can be you scratch hard enough people think that you actually are breaking out you’re like well you’re all red now there’s ways to do it I mean I love record shopping and I even still get this sensation when I’m record shopping that like I can’t do this anymore and I’ll like I’ll be going through a bin and instead of like looking at every record in the bin I’ll just kind of like I’ll just kind of like go 5 10 15 just kind of like just kind of maybe I’ll spot something but what I’ve realized is that I’m only doing this for me it’s just like why if I want to shop for records you might as well look at every single record because skipping five accomplishes nothing except getting through a bin quicker that you didn’t find as much and I have this internal dialogue a lot it’s like why am I rushing through this bin so that I can say I got through it without seeing what was in it yeah judging you right now judging your shopping isn’t that wild um but it’s because I want to feel like I I looked through everything that I came to look through but I can’t I just can’t take it anymore now I will say over the course of two days when Lando and I took a little trip to San Francisco for one night recently we went to eight record shops in two days that’s a bit much yeah so I I did break through I did break through and you can break through too next voicemail hi Rett hi link my name is Maddie and I’m calling from Texas um so I am a pole dancer and a cosplayer and I like to bring those two things together sometimes uh for example my last performance uh was a Las Vegas theme show and I was dressed as uh a sexy Chris Angel and I danced to Paralyzer by Finger 11 because I felt like that really encapsulated Chris Angel’s um kind of aura so I was just curious um if I was ever to cosplay as one of you guys uh what song do you think would be best to dance to What would encapsulate you guys’ Aura thank you so she’s gonna dress up as us but sexy stripper version and she but she needs the right song where’s can I I just want to understand the context for this like where is this because as we’ve established we’ve never been to a strip club oh I’ll uh this is the okay you don’t know about this yeah I’ll tell twitch or something no no this is like uh there are pole dancing like classes and lessons and actual like competitions outside of this strip club kind of world where they compete uh and do different cosplaying based on like song Choices and things and they get points for you know creativity and um skill okay so there are P competitions that this sort of thing happens boies I don’t think they’re stripping uh they can yeah yeah there’s still like an element of stripping involved in in the but not but not nipples out uh I I say I think it depends on where the competition is like what state there you know there’s there’s rules about what temperature of the thermostat set up yeah yeah yeah definitely as well that’s a factor yeah so but you’re saying some pole dancing routines don’t involve stripping at all correct the removing of any clothing yeah they don’t always cuz well um I mean you have to have a certain amount removed or you’re not going to properly like hold on to the pole like you can’t you can’t be fully clothed trying to trying to pull dance you’re going to slip right down that’s why firefighters have to be fully clothed when they go down the fire like pole cuz otherwise they’ll stick to it oh you got to have clothes on burn you burn you talk about clothed firefighters as much as you want Jenna yeah clothed you want to talk about any other type of firefighters no stop it I didn’t mean to bring it up again unclosed you’ve been doing firefighter research huh sticking sticking to that pole he’s supposed to be coming down any moment but I think but judging by what I can see it seems that he is stuck on the pole on the second level I have quite an angle that would be quite an angle for our um cosplaye um stripper pole Renditions uh it it will be um there there will be um some sort nudity there’ll be nudity some form of it okay well maybe just based on the fact that if you’re going to dress up like me I mean fake beard you I mean there’s only so much you can take off I mean like okay yeah you take the fake beard off you should actually probably leave the beard on yeah leave the beard on um you’re going to take off the button up and you’re G to take off the jeans and then you’re done you might take some shoes off you know what I’m saying like I just I mean I maybe I would be layered in this scenario I don’t know like I’m just saying that there’s not a lot there’s I don’t I don’t wear vests no Chris Angel has is like layered and there’s yeah um it’s probably I think it’s it’s black it might be leather yeah and I and I think that he I think he shows skin as part of his outfit a lot of times right there might be some already we don’t have that at at your disposal so for me it’s you’re going to I don’t know your hair is going to go up in an obnoxious way you’re going to wear glasses um uh booty shorts are not off the table um um I don’t know you could paint on some some tattoos you have box of bre on would you take the jeans off yeah yeah but she’s what she’s really asking about is a song so what song captures the aura yeah this is a tough one because first of all we can’t play the song here unless it’s one of your songs yeah oh that’s to we wrote those songs for specific comedic purposes and I think that would undermine the seriousness of the event that we that she’s participating in unless it’s two strippers doing a routine together on a poll Maybe let’s start you go first let’s just say it’s you just throw idea I mean I’m trying to think of something that would be a good song that you could strip to but also captures my aura I mean I don’t know I I I think a song that captures my aura is the Cheers theme uh sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name yeah and and they’re always glad you game there’s double meaning there you want to be where you can see troubles are all the same like I’m just like I kind of feel like you want to go where everybody knows your name my you know I like that song because it makes you feel good it’s got a good clear message it’s a slower Pace it’s slow it’s not in your face it’s not like people aren’t going to like stand up and start doing things it’s more just like it’s not too it’s not too exciting it’s just a really good song and now again we’ve never been to a strip club and then at the end of it with the piano at the end we’re feeling good about this she’s slowly sliding down the pole now are her eyes red or I don’t think I don’t think she has to do that anymore no no no no no cuz old red her you’d have to get your eyes all all nice and bloodshot but you don’t have to do that anymore which you could do just by hanging upside down on the pole for an extended period of time but you don’t have to do that anymore there’s not a lot there’s not much of a beat in that song but I think that makes it interesting yeah it’s it’s it’s more interpretive of a pole dance and so all right so you so she’s G to stay out there as you and then you’re GNA bring a friend to be me oh and you know what let’s or she could just change let’s just no because we need Jenna’s right we need both of us out there and we could do the Friends theme so we just do themes TV s theme songs that’s pretty energetic I’ll be there for you when the rain starts to fall like can you get two people on a poll at once yeah yes like higher and lower mhm and then it’s called stacking maybe beside each other spinning maybe yeah okay sometimes you can do a thing where there’s somebody on top and somebody on bottom and then they flip and you didn’t even really know to know how it happened I do like the progression of the Cheers theme into the Friends theme sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name I’ll be there for you you know it’s kind of like a call and response it’s an answer but then it feels like we need to close out with one last theme song um for both of us like maybe Simon and Simon Simon and Simon I don’t know that’s just an instrumental that’s just an instrumental no one knows what we’re talking about no one knows themes on it was so good uh All About the Benjamins maybe I guess with the Diddy stuff stuff we can’t do that no well I want it to be a TV theme song oh um I like him with words what’s another good one with words du of Hazard just a good old boys oh and then it’s about two boys me meaning no harm yep beats all you ever saw been a running around this pole since the day they was born yep that’s it so that’s the routine it’s starts with the Cheers theme song it goes to the Friends theme song and then it ends with the Dukes of Hazard Dukes of Hazard and you can bring in a third person to be in a um Rosco peo train well no I was thinking more Daisy Duke oh wearing Daisy Dukes but Boss Hog dressed up like Boss Hog and all white yes somebody comes in as Boss Hog oh yeah he’s got so many things to take off he’s got that hat he’s got to throw the cane down he’s got to take the jacket off he’s got got white vest off he’s got a white shirt yeah yeah he’s got the boots uhhuh and it’s all white mhm that’s sexy okay no one’s ever done a Boss Hog strip we could hey if we really apply ourselves we could solve a lot of problems I feel like we got one more in US okie dokie hi r hi link my name is Raymond and I’m calling in response to caller from the previous episode named Truman who had a work Crush and was trying to get with a girl who had a boyfriend yeah well it turns out I’m in a similar situation but I’m the boyfriend a few details my girlfriend and I have a close relationship she actually told me about Truman I can confirm the Truman of the past episode is not the same Truman I’m dealing with okay and I’ve P also personally met Truman and he won’t stop asking my girlfriend they hang out with them I’d like you all to weigh in on how you think we should handle this trumman situation than but is he ALS but is he also named Truman or is he just a Truman as an arct type I apparently his name is Truman I don’t remember when we were talking Truman I I don’t remember that Truman was the was the guy’s name that we were helping well it must have been we we never remember the names okay so if I remember correctly we gave our Truman lots of great advice many options to to infiltrate the relationship one was a like a threeyear plan if I don’t if I don’t slowly become the guy to look increasingly like it yeah yeah and then I came up with something simpler I can’t do you remember what that was what did I do what did I say uh you said that you had to go in and resign and then give your feelings and be like I can’t be around you can’t even work here anymore yes an ultimat you’re too much of a distraction that’s what I said yes that that’s the ultimate ultimatum so now here we are trying to help out the other party can we is that a conflict of interest are we signed our Truman no we’re like attorneys you come to us and we’re on your side oh we’re not contracted by whether you did it or not we assume your innocence when you come to us if it was the same Truman we couldn’t I think that would be a conflict conflict of interest um first of all I’m glad you called and we’re here to help I think what’s happening to you is horrible and I think anyone that would help your Truman out would be sus at best unethical malicious at worst and um we’re prepared to come after those guys too but I do have an idea for you uh if you sense that she’s kind of into Truman sort of likes the way he dresses the way he looks things about him this is going to take a while it might take as many as three three years right uh but you’re going to spend some time slowly adopting Truman isms is what we call them yep first the most subtle to do is get the same pair of shoes because a lot of people don’t look down and then you build up from this Foundation I like to think a lot of people do look down less than you think even less people look up as a tall person I can I I have a great vantage point of this you can build it from the top to the bottom but if you if you get the same if you get the same haircut it’s too big of a flat yeah you got to work from the shoes up you’re you go shoes pants belt mhm shirt facial hair y Expressions a lot of things happen in the face expressions words accent interests kissing kissing and then the last thing is the hairstyle and by the time you change the hairstyle she’ll already be so confused right and she won’t know the difference between the two of you and at that point you make your move well you’re already the boyfriend so I forgot I I forgot who I was helping yeah but you solidified it yeah yeah you really you made it uninfiltrated yeah you know it’s like what does he have to offer nothing you’re not already nothing you don’t already have exactly it does kind of te me off that like he’s being so forward about it like she’s coming home telling him is she complaining does he need to pay a visit to or work you know it’s like when you pay a visit to work to talk to the work boyfriend boy that’s that’s a big moment that’s a big moment maybe maybe you know where his parking space is and maybe when he pulls up one day you’re already standing there you know arms crossed and then you just kind of walk away but then the next day you’re standing there again well I have you just kind of walk away I think if you’re standing there three days in a row and he doesn’t say anything to you you may not need to say anything but what if you’ve got places to be well if you have scheduling conflict you got to pick three days in a row how about how about cardboard cutout of yourself yep yep everywhere in every single parking space with arms crossed now you’re going to end up complicating the days for everyone who works with your girlfriend but he will get the message I don’t know if and Kinkos I think will do you can get a pretty good deal on a cardboard cutout the more you get the less they less expensive they are I’m going to go out on a limb here and say what what if we went with the trust women route yeah okay this is always a good let’s play with this one um you know you stay at home and you just you say of course Truman wants to wants to do more than work with you of course yeah um but you need to you need to turn the tables on this guy like you’re the you’re the you have all this power over him you know so I trust you to just put him in his place because I trust you I trust you to do whatever it is you want to do and just keep telling me what’s going on because I get a kick out of it and I know that you got this I’m just I’m just just a spectator from the sidelines this is seems like a good idea so now we need to give advice to the girlfriend though yep so she’s got to start um I don’t know well maybe she every time that he comes every time he talks to her she’s getting a phone call from uh from her boyfriend I actually think there’s a number of things that that we’ve talked about before that can be incorporated into this this it kind of this is a sign that you give great advice when you can just recall previous things like you also might be able to get a ragweed and every time he comes around you break out okay hives second thing you can do is there is a principle in uh martial arts uh I believe this is maybe Jiu-Jitsu or Taekwondo I don’t know it’s where you use the mo their momentum use their momentum against them right and so what you’re going to do is I’m assuming if this guy is so bold as to attempt uh to kiss you or to or to make or or to think that that’s what you want like maybe you’re alone in a certain place maybe you’re going to have like you’re going to have to in order to enact this plan you might have to do some things you’re uncomfortable with and so don’t do it if you are but if you wanted to make him think that you also wanted to kiss him uh and then what you’re going to do this requires a third party he closes his eyes you close your eyes he leans in you quickly grab a Boss Hog um impersonator cos cosplay stripp and uh he kisses Boss Hog the stripper he’ll never do it again I I think she just got to she’s got to lay she’s got to lay the law down Hey listen this is not going to happen I think this is amusing nothing more yeah you got to tell him to back off right it’s not professional you be like hey I I I’m flattered I appreciate it but um not going to happen I’m going to have to set a boundary here and say I don’t want you flirting with me or talking to me I don’t know how far this Truman has gone if he’s if he’s saying things like oh you need a real man or whatever the [ __ ] that he’s saying is but hey don’t say that kind of stuff to me I think you just got to nip it in the bud but yeah we trust women yep to handle their business you know uhhuh and only if the woman said I need I need a cardboard cut out cardboard cutout in every space only tomorrow morning right go to Kingo right now 24 hours um only then would we endorse that yep all right we speaking of endorsement we endorse ourselves in everything that we’ve said today uh and also the stuff that Jenna said I endorse that as well um thank you for all your questions uh all your follow-ups these continuing conversations bring us joy your new questions uh get us thinking and hopefully we can continue you to shape your everyday lives don’t forget to call in 1888 earpod talk at you next week uh Hey R and Link this is Josh uh just calling because I recently got married over the weekend and uh there was a possum inside the organ that was covered in cheese whiz and vomited all over our fishan and uh I’m just wondering if you guys have any experience with something like this or if there’s any way to uh find out how to fix this problem my uh my new wife and I are very shaken up and uh I’ve been sleeping on the couch now for a few weeks and we’ve just both been having reoccurring nightmares of of cheese whiz pawsum so if you have any advice for me uh I’d be greatly appreciated thank you very much bye