(funky music) – Welcome to Ear Biscuits. – This week, at the round table of dimmed lighting, it is me, Rhett. – And me, Link. – And we’re going to be talking to one another but we’re going to be talking to you at the same time, answering your questions, it’s a Q and an A. We got your Q’s, we give the A’s, (simultaneously) we got the Q’s, we give the A’s. – We got the Q’s, so we can get the A’s and if we gave the A’s without the Q’s, it would be confusing! Or con-Q-sing, no, never mind. – And I’m gonna give us an A, preemptively. – For effort. – On this. Because we don’t get grades anymore. – Yeah, I mean, come on, let’s do this. – I’ve been noticing this, the kids get, the kids that we have. – They don’t know what grades are, man. – No, they get grades. – Oh, yeah? – They get grades. – Oh. – You know? – (chuckles) They do? – I mean, I know they’re kinda, they do some homeschooling, they do some charter schooling but they’re getting grades. – It’s really free form, though. – And then when my wife was out of town, I was grading Shepherd’s work, and I was like– – Are you capable of that? – Yeah, I had a red pen. – Well, it takes more than that, you gotta know what if the answers are right. – Well, it was like, for second grade math. – Exactly. When’s the last time you did second grade math? – In second grade but I was checking, (laughs) well, actually, you do second grade math like, all the time, it’s like, the math that you still need. – I busted out a calculator today to like, do some subtraction. – Some subtraction. And so, I’m doing, I’m checking and I’m putting checks next to the ones that are right and X’s next to the ones that are wrong. – You’re like a drill sergeant. – And then I like, gave him a grade and I did a smiley face and I was like, “Great job, Shepherd!” I just found myself becoming a teacher and wishing that I maybe I’d have done that. – Are you serious? – It was cool. – It was just a nice sensation but you didn’t literally wish that you would have become a teacher? – No. – I mean, you know what it’s like to be a teacher, right? – I don’t know, have any idea. – It’s hard, it’s horrifying. – No, it’s not, it’s one of the best jobs in the world, you get to invest in the youth of tomorrow. – It’s one of the most important jobs, for the record. – The children are the future. – It’s a thankless job. – Yeah, but I think you stay young. – It’s like being a mom. – I think you stay young. – Except with other people’s kids. It’s like, we’re a dad. – But yeah, but you don’t have to put them to bed. – Male or female to be a teacher. – You don’t have to put, yeah, well, thanks for clarifying, Link. (laughs) – Well, I said mom, I didn’t wanna just, you know. – No, I’m not saying, well, you know what I wanna be? I wanted to be a professor, I think is what I wanted to be. Because when you’re a teacher, like, of school-age kids, then you have to like, worry about their development and stuff, you know? I don’t have time for that. – Right. – But a professor it’s just like, – It’s about you, as a college professor. – I wear an ascot and I make all of you laugh. And I do research and in the summers I go to the – Sabbatical. – Antigua. (chuckles) For research. – Like, well, they go on sabbaticals, which is like, extended vacations. Did you, your dad, his dad’s a professor. – Of law. – Of college law. – Well, of university law. – Well, that’s not like, real estate law or something? – Well, college is typically what they call undergraduate, law school is graduate school, so he’s just a law professor is what they call it in the industry. Law professor. Teacher of law. – What was my point? – That he takes sabbatical? – Has he ever taken a sabbatical? – No. Daddy Mac ain’t got time for sabbaticals, man. (Link laughs) – What you said was revealing, when I really hone into what you actually wanted, when you were grading Shepherd’s paper. The first thing you said when you thought about being a college professor was, “Make ’em laugh, say some jokes,” you just want a captive audience that wants to suck up to you for good grades. Like, you get all the laughs. – My dad is a comedian, he’s a stand-up comedian, he stands up in front of a class and makes them laugh. Now, they also learn– – About real estate law? That’s a challenge, that’s pretty great. – He’s doing, I think he does wills and trusts at this point, some of the things, I mean, he’s like, he writes a book too. Did you know that there’s like, a book in North Carolina law and he like, writes the book and like, updates it every year? – Daddy Mac’s guide to wills and trusts. – And he’s like, – Will it trust? – sometimes I talk to him and I’m like, “What are you doing?” He’s like, “I’m updating the book. “I’m updating the book again.” – He takes pride in it. – You know, because the years change. – The book’s getting updated. – Oh, yeah, because the laws change and you gotta, you gotta anticipate and incorporate laws. See, I could have been a professor, see how I can use those multiple syllable words right back-to-back like that? – That’s what they do. But really, what happens is whenever he updates his book, he gets paid again. – Well, you didn’t have to say that. – He gets paid ’cause they got to buy the new one. – Right. It’s like selling it all over again. – I know the business of law. – Yeah, that’s why I update my look every once in a while, every 10 years or so. To get paid again. – So people will keep watching this, or listening? – Yeah. That’s why you cut your hair. – Yeah. – ‘Cause people were dropping off, man. – People come back it’s like, same product, new and improved packaging. – Yeah, your glasses have subtly changed over the years, I mean, that’s one advantage you’ve got over me. I don’t have eyewear that can change suddenly over time. People don’t know that you’ve been through 74 pairs of glasses and if you watch a lot of our videos closely, you can see the very subtle changes but 74 different pairs of glasses. – Honestly, I know I’ve been, one, two, three, four… – 74. – Five. – Five. – Five styles of glasses. – Alright, well, I was a little bit off. – In a little over 10 years. – Yeah, well, you kind of ruined my point but 74 would have been, would have made it seem… – You were making a point? I think your point was will you give us an A? I’m tasting the blood, man. – Okay, we’re gonna answer some questions. – You’re not concerned about that? See, sometimes I toss out something, like, “I’m tasting the blood,” and then you ignore it totally but it was my segway into telling you about something. – Oh, okay, you’re tasting the, what do you mean? – That’s it. – You bit your tongue? – That’s what I was talking about. I bit my tongue when I was eating that bowl of rice thing beforehand. – Yeah. – And I, it’s still bleeding a little. – Yeah. You know, I’ve kinda gotten to this, yeah. I’ve got to a point in our friendship where I don’t want you to tell me when you bite your tongue because it happens more often than you change your glasses. – It annoys me that you never bite your tongue. Do you even have one? Your teeth are so recessed, but you have small, little teeth, man. – Don’t, no. – This is about your teeth. – I am incredibly careful. – (laughs) You’re not. Are you constantly careful not to bite your tongue? – Yeah. – ‘Cause you’ve never done it. Why be careful? It’s an anatomy thing. – No, you know what happened to me? I was born tall and I grew up tall and lots of people think that tall people are clumsy but I have, it’s like cat-like instincts. I’m like, going through doors and I’m really self-conscious about hitting my head or stepping on people, you would think, “Oh, the tall guy, he’s a giant, “he steps on people.” My five foot three wife steps on my feet way more than I step on her feet. I don’t think I’ve ever stepped on her, anybody’s feet. – They’re way down there and you still don’t step on people’s feet? – And I don’t bite my tongue very often. – I think your point is– – I’m constantly thinking about not injuring myself. That’s my secret. – But what I take you to mean is that you don’t constantly tell me about how tall you are, so I shouldn’t constantly tell you that I’m biting my tongue ’cause it happens every day. – Yeah, it happens all the time. – It’s like, it’s like you saying, “You remember I’m tall, right?” – Yeah, yeah. So, you don’t have to say, – So, I respect that. – “I’m tasting the blood,” you can just… (laughs) – As long as you, as long as you know, chances are I’m biting my tongue. – Yeah. – Constantly. But ironically, metaphorically, I will own the fact that I should bite my tongue more often. Meaning, meaning not say something that I’m about to say. – Yeah, yeah, you should do that kind of biting your tongue. – But on this show, we can say whatever we want, that’s why we do this show. – But you know, also, speaking of shows that we do, I’d almost forgot, it is official, we can announce it right now because we did also announce it on Good Mythical Morning today. – Yes. – Buddy System, (simultaneously) season two! On Youtube Red. – That was really harmonic, that was like, (simultaneously) two! Flat. And I held a four. – Rhett and Link’s Buddy System on YouTube Red, our scripted show that we absolutely love making. – There’s more of it. – I just said lovemaking. – Yeah. (laughs) I didn’t want you to give away the subject matter of this season. – Season two is all about lovemaking. (laughs) Not really. – We love making it. It’s longer, so there’s more love to be made. – Yeah. – Half hour episodes, which really just means 22 minutes in like, television terms but it’s not on television so, it’s somewhere around that length. – 50% more Buddy System in season two. – We’re in the process of writing it. – Yeah. Super, super excited about it. Really hoping that those of you who don’t have YouTube Red yet will consider getting it ’cause more and more stuff is coming to the platform but mostly, we just want you to watch our show because we have a blast making it, the creative is coming together right now. It is so, so strange and weird. – It’s so strange. – In what I hope is a wonderful way. – I think, you know, it’s not good until it gets strange. I think we’re like, pushing it and we’re in a room with some writers and we’re like, collaborating. – Yeah, we’re collaborating more, in season one, we– – Which is fun, it’s not just the two of us. – It was just the two of us. – Fighting. – And now with these episodes being longer and also kinda having set the template in season one, season one, we wrote it ourselves, we’re like, this is how we want to do a world, you know? – Yeah. – And so, now that you’ve done that, you kind of have some tracks to run on, you could bring in some experience and qualified writers to collaborate with so, we’re getting not just our weird ideas, their weird ideas, we got lots of weird ideas and there’s lots of things, many moments that are happening every day in the writers room where I’m like, should we do this? – And which means yes. Whenever we ask that question it’s like, is this too crazy? – You know that you’re in a sweet spot. – The question I’m asking is like, is it weird enough yet? And then we keep pushing, we just gotta push it. Just gotta keep pushing it. – Keep on pushing it. – We made a post on the Facebook and we asked you to ask us questions in an Ear Biscuit format, which that’s not exactly what we asked, what I said didn’t mean anything. – Yeah. – Ask us questions in an Ear Biscuit format. I don’t know what, it’s like, words coming out of my mouth. – We just asked you to ask us questions and now we’re gonna go through some of these. – We’re gonna answer them on the format called Ear Biscuits. – Yeah. – Brandon Folleen. – Folleen. He’s Folleen. – Okay, I almost did a voice but I’m going to, ’cause I don’t know what his voice sounds like and I don’t wanna insult him with a voice. – Yeah. – So, I’ll just give him my voice, this is just my voice, Brandon, not yours, I’m reading your answer in my voice. – But you should do it. – Your question. – You should do an impression of just any voice. – (Southern accent) Okay, so, “I’m a landscaper “and absolutely love what you do with spring–” – It says “what I do.” You just totally made the question about us. (laughs) – That’s what I get, I was concentrating on the– – “I’m a landscaper and I absolutely love what I do.” – Okay, that’s a good point. See, I gotta go back to my voice. – You make presumptions about whether– – I can’t read it right if I’m gonna do a voice. – He could hate us. – I was thinking too much about my voice. Okay, so. – He hates you now. – “I’m a landscaper and I absolutely love what I do. “With spring here, it’s a good time to ask my question, “what do your yards look like? “LBS.” I don’t know what LBS stands for. – Pounds, how many pounds are your yards? (chuckles) – “Do you enjoy mowing your grass and/or any yard work?” Good question, this is a big, big question, we get it all the time. – Now, I think we may have said this before and it’s gonna sound a little, I mean, listen, I didn’t know when you moved to Los Angeles that 98% of the people who live here, regardless of socioeconomic status. – (laughs) It’s speech jammed. – I’m a professor. – (silly voice) Socio. – Somebody cuts your yard, somebody does your landscaping and the first time– – Mow ‘n’ Blow. – Yeah. That’s the company that does it for me. – That’s what it’s called. – The first house that we rented here after the short-term apartment that we were in, the guy was like, “And it comes with a gardener,” and I was like, “Oh, it must be nice.” And it wasn’t. (laughs) It wasn’t nice, I just learned that every house, most houses, there’s a gardener. And it’s included with the rent and it’s just a dude who cuts the grass. – Because your yard does not come with a garden. – No. – You don’t have an actual garden. Someone who mows it, then blows it. – And if you’re in North Carolina and you’ve got somebody who you pay to mow your grass, you’re just high fluting. – You’re a chump. – Well, I mean, it means you’re just kind of rich, you’re a rich softy. – Rich softy. – You know what I mean? – Yeah. – But here, it just means you’re just an Angelino. You’re just a Los Angeles person. So, I gotta say that I haven’t cut grass in a very long time and I don’t know what it’s doing to me, but what does the yard look like? I actually have very, very little grass, I have a little strip of grass that I would say is, ’cause my house is on a hill– – Your gardener’s making out like a bandit. You’ve got a little strip of grass. – No, but he’s dealing with vines and plants in the slope that has some sort of ground cover on it. There’s quite a lot going on but the grass, and then there’s one part that’s almost all concrete, where we’ve got the basketball goal, but then there’s that like, six feet by 25 feet rectangle of grass. – Yeah. – Which I actually recently talked to my gardener about making it into just artificial turf. – That’s a good idea. But then, the dog poop. – The dog poop sits on top. – But you have to clean it up. – It just sits on top. – If it’s real grass, it’ll biodegrade. – You just let your dog crap, just send them to the earth? – Well, I don’t because– – Like a lost soul? – Jade does it on like, crushed granite. – Well, look at you, Mr. Crushed Granite. (laughs) – What, yeah, I’m a high flutin’ softy, man, I got crushed granite. – Does she have a spot that she like, poops on? Like a cat? – Yeah. Yeah, you know that strip of crushed granite I got there on the side of the house, that’s just like, hard dirt? – In the back? – On the side. – But within the gate. – Within the gate. – Within the gate, now, don’t let the dog out of the gate. – Well, I do but then she attacks like, poodles that are walking by. You know what I need? I don’t need a gardener, I need a concrete cleaner. Because– – She poops on that too. – No, I’m just saying my whole backyard is nothing but concrete. So, I need someone to come and power wash it every few months because it starts to not look good. – I do my own power washing, that’s a different thing. – You’ve got standards. – So, yards are looking good, Brandon, if you’re ever in the Los Angeles area and you’re looking to just, and you enjoy what you do, you can stop by and landscape for us. – I love landscaping, I do miss doing it, there’s a meditative aspect to like, riding on that, you know, rotating blades. – You know what that is for me now? – What? – It is taking leaves out of the pool with a big net. – It’s kinda like raking a Zen garden. – I actually play Apple Spa radio while I do it. People think I got a frickin’ like, Buddhist temple up in my house, I play it so loud. (laughs) I’ve got spa radio playing. – People think there’s monks up there making Lager. – Up on the hill. – And then they get up there and it’s you cleaning out a pool. – In the way that the pool area is with this like, it’s kind amplified with this like, concrete wall and it shoots it down over the neighborhood. And I play it loud, loud and proud. – Hit ’em with it. – And I’m out there just meditating. – Just blasting ’em with that yoga meditation. – Silent retreat all to myself just with a big old temple and frogs and large bugs and just throwing ’em over the side. – I make my kids do that. – Teach ’em a lesson. – Lando does that. – Claire Rebecca Laurence asks, “Have you guys ever ridden horses before?” This is Jessie. – So, this must be a relative using, Jessie’s using Claire’s Facebook account. – My wife may have a Facebook account under Claire Rebecca Laurence. – Why would she want to ask us if we’ve ever ridden horses before? – Maybe she’s dropping a hint. Well, I have, though. – She wants a horse? – But no, she likes riding horses and she really enjoys it. – Well, let me tell you, you know I brought this up. – You know I brought this up. – Alright, so, I was laying in bed next to my wife. – Well, that’s good. – Christy. And we were doing what we frequently do. (laughs) Which is she’s on her phone on Instagram and Facebook. – Yeah, that’s what you do frequently. – And I’m looking over her shoulder because I am not active on Instagram or Facebook but– – You could be. – But I am active over her shoulder. – Actively looking over her shoulder. – I am social active with my wife in the bedroom on her media. – Mm-hmm. – And there was this friend of hers that like, she had, from North Carolina, it was an acquaintance that she didn’t even know that well and I looked over her shoulder and I was like, “What’s that?” And you know how the videos will just start playing on Facebook? And she’s like, scroll, scroll, scroll. And it was a GoPro mounted on a helmet of someone riding a horse. No sound, you know, sound don’t play til you like, click on it or something. I mean, I’m so ignorant. – That’s how Facebook works, yeah. – And so, I’m like, she kept scrolling, I was like, “Whoa, whoa, whoa, what’s that?” She was like, “I don’t know, “so and so,” “What, from North Carolina?” She said, “Yeah, she posted this video “of someone riding a horse.” And then I was like, “Could I have your phone?” And then like, I took the phone, I went back to that and I pressed play on it and now I’m hearing sound. – Horse sound. – And for the next 14 minutes, – Oh, gosh. 14 minute video of one woman– – And one horse. – And one horse, on one unedited ride and it wasn’t, it was one of those things where it’s like, they’re jumping over the bars and then– – Steeple chase. – Steeple chase stuff. And… – I don’t know if it’s called a steeple chase, I think that’s like a, that’s with people. – I was absolutely mesmerized by it. – Is it like VR horse riding? – It felt like I was riding a horse (laughs) in my bedroom. – While you’re laying in your bed. – Yeah. Yeah and– – Hold on, did you take the phone from your wife or did you make her watch this with you? – I took it from her and then– – And what did she do? – I let her look over my shoulder if she wanted to. She rolled over and went to sleep. – If you’re gonna watch the horse video, I’m going to sleep. – For like, 14 minutes. And I realized for the first time how amazing it could be to ride a horse. – But Link, it’s a lot more amazing to actually ride a horse. – Well, I just felt like I had some insight into it, for the first time ever having that perspective, she was talking to the horse and she was like, “Okay, you can do it, now, don’t get ahead of yourself.” – Could you see the horse’s head? – Yeah, see the horse’s head and I could see the jumps and everything coming and like, she was like, she was giving the horse physical signals about what to do, I inferred because the things that she– – Yeah, with the feet and the reins. – Yeah, and the things that she was saying was just verbally processing, that’s just how she rides a horse. She’s like, – Oh, that was cool. – very anxious about, “Oh, you did a great job,” I mean, she gives the horse encouragement but she’s like, “Alright, here comes, stay with me, “stay with me, uh-uh!” And it’s like, she’s saying things– – Rebuking the horse. – Rebuking, like she could tell when the horse like, lost interest or was like, going the wrong way or– – They tend to do that. – There’s so much trust in that relationship, you’re on the back of a huge beast and you’re doing these little, subtle, physical things that then send this beast that you’re on the back of over obstacles, soaring through the air! – But let me put something out. – Over water, over bars! – Let me point something out, though. – It was amazing, I have to do it. – Yeah, but riding a horse can be arranged relatively easily. – I have to do it. – This isn’t like, “You know what? “I’ve got to go to the Amazon.” (Link laughs) It isn’t like, something that requires a lot of thought and a lot of planning, it’s like, “Well, you can ride a horse tomorrow, if you want to.” I mean, literally, you could go to Griffith Park, you could ride a horse. – But yeah, you know, I’ve seen those people and they’re going in lines and it’s like, you’re looking at the horse in front of you take a crap. – But hold on, hold on, you gotta start somewhere. You don’t wanna get on a horse and have him jump over bars and stuff. – I think I do. I have, in my bed. – Well, in Costa Rica, we rented– – Rented a horse? – We rode horses. – Like a Hertz rent a horse? – And they were very like, lax about– – There’s no regulations. – And we were just flying all over the place, going through the jungle, I had to think galloping, and I had no idea what I’m doing. – Why didn’t you come back and tell me I had to ride a horse? – Well, I just, I didn’t know it was something you didn’t know about. – Well, are you, that’s the first time you’ve ridden a horse, right? – No, it’s like the eighth time I’ve ridden a horse. – You’ve ridden a horse eight times and this is what it’s like and you’ve never told me? – I rode a horse as a child, one of my earliest memories is being put on a horse. Like, how did you avoid, you grew up in the country. How did you not get on a horse? – My Uncle Ross bought a horse for my cousin, Keith. – Why didn’t you get on the horse? – Well, he got kicked off the horse and he broke an arm and they tried to put me on the horse once and I was probably seven or eight years old and you know I was a real timid kid. – Yeah. – It scared me to death because he was like, “I broke my arm on this horse. “Get up there.” – Well, you gotta get a calm horse. That’s why, you know what the interesting thing is? – And I didn’t do it. – Psychologically, this is why your favorite animal is a miniature horse because you’re scared of large horses. – That’s it. – You can’t ride a miniature horse, though, that’s inhumane. – It can pull you in a cart. – Yeah. So, we can work that out. – Where’s the best place on earth to ride a horse? And not at like, not like, a mule at the Grand Canyon speed. That’s what I want to know, best place on earth to ride a horse and that’s where I’m gonna do it. – Okay, let Link know that on hashtag Ear Biscuits. – And I will, like, within minutes of a gallop, I will be sobbing like a baby. – It is really great and every time I do it, I say, why don’t I do this more? So, we gotta go ride horses together. – “I gotta tell Link about this.” – Deirdre James asks, “If you had a pizza that could talk, “would you still eat it?” – Is this a question? – But before you answer that question, we’re gonna take a short break to let you know that we got new T shirts! – Boom. You know what? I’m gonna show you this one right here because it’s been sitting in my lap, getting warm. – Oh, gosh. – This lap baby of mine is a T shirt that’s the official Ear Biscuit. – Finally. We have an Ear Biscuits T shirt. – Pocket tee. – And it’s a pocket tee because pocket tees, listen, if you’re cool, man, you wear pocket tees. If you wanna be cool, you want people to know that you’re a fan of Ear Biscuits. – Now, of course it’s got the, the Made by Mythical seal in there. – What could you put in that pocket? You could put a dollar in there. – I could probably put like, $1000 in there. – You could put a reminder to ride a horse in there, on a little note. – I could put like, a cardboard cutout of a horse, a miniature horse peeking out of it. – I got one too, Link. – Oh! – Look at this. (chuckles) Where am I? Here, is that good, is that a good place? Or should I be over here? Over here, okay, this is the This is Mythical pocket tee. – But there’s a, it may be hard to see in the dim lighting– – You could put $1000 in that pocket too. – There’s a pocket. – Again, the This is Mythical YouTube channel where, if you are watching Ear Biscuits while you’re listening to it, you’re watching it most likely on the This is Mythical YouTube channel unless it’s been pirated somewhere, and this is the official symbol of the This is Mythical Youtube channel and of course, it has the same Made by Mythical insignia. But Link, it doesn’t stop there, we also have, there’s another show, you know that other show we do? Good Mythical Morning. – Good Mythical Morning pocket tee. – We got pocket tees for days, this is, we’re talking $3000 now that you can hoist around with yourself. – Right. – It doesn’t come with $1000 bill. Is $1000 bill a thing? – I was thinking ones, like a thousand ones rolled up. – No way. – It would look about like that. – No way, no way you could fit that. – Put that away. Rhett and Link dot com slash store. – That’s where you get it, thanks for mentioning that. – Yeah, please, support internet-tainment. – Okay, Deirdre, if you had a pizza that could talk, would you still eat it? – Of course. – Yeah, I don’t even think about this one because just because a piece of pizza is sentient, or sentient, the jury’s still out on what the correct way to say that is but you say sentient, I say sentient, but I’m switching to sentient. – How to pronounce sentient. Acai. Gyro, pho. – I’m not interested in any of those. Sentient. Yeah, let’s play the how to pronounce video, this is how the world works now. – [Video] Sentient or sen-tchient. – Oh! Well. – We have options. – Well, sentient’s wrong. Sen-tchient. Sentient or sen-tchient? – [Video] Sentient, or sen-tchient. – Sen-tchient. Sentient or sen-tchient? – 30,000 views on this thing, 10 comments. – Okay, what do you prefer? We gotta make a choice here. – First comment, “Well, which one is it?” (laughs) Exactly. – Well, you got options, man, you got choices. – Yeah, these are the only two choices in my mind, so I feel like there should be one or the other. Both works, I suppose. – Well, hold on, we can make a definitive decision right now, do we have the authority to do that? – I’m gonna have in my mind my vote and you have in your mind your vote. Do you understand my prompt? – Yeah. – Do you have it? Don’t change your answer. – Let me tell you my rationale for why I’m picking this. I’m picking it because it sounds more like what it means. – Okay. Well, I just like sentient. – That’s not an option. – What? – It’s either sentient or sen-tchient. – Oh, really? (laughs) – You’re saying the one that I was saying earlier, which is not an option. – That’s not an option? – No, it’s sen-tchient. – I thought I heard it say that. – It’s not sentient. It’s sentient or sen-tchient. – [Video] Sentient, or sen-tchient. – Sen-tchient. No, sentient. – Sentient. Yeah, didn’t that sound like something that knows itself? – Sentient. – Know thyself. – What about sen-tchient? – Sentient pizza. – Sentient. – Pizza. – So, I was wrong. With all the options there were. – I’m honestly saying this, I don’t care if a pizza has a soul. Has the ability to be my friend. A piece of pizza is still a piece of pizza and its primary purpose in the universe is to be eaten by me. So, I don’t care how smart it is, I would have a lovely conversation with it but I would also eat it without hesitation, as long as it didn’t have mouth parts or a brain that would make it different than pizza. – Well, no, no, it has a mouth, dude. – Yeah, but it’s like, made of pizza parts. – Yeah, kinda like– – It’s tongue is like, a black olive or something. – Like the VR burger that you were on Good Mythical Morning. – As long it’s pizza to the core and no weird pizza brain that’s like, something that you would expect in a sentient being. – Like, I gotta eat around the tongue, like I’m not gonna eat the tongue. – Yeah. – ‘Cause it has a real tongue. – If it has teeth, they’re like pieces of, you know, just hard cheese or something. – Onions. – Onions. Better than that, yeah, onions. – The lips are pepperoni. – Yeah and the eyeballs are, eyeballs are black olives, that’s what I should have said. – But it’s got a tongue that’s like salami. – No problem there. (laughs) – But while you’re eating it, it’s like, (gibberish) – I’m not making it up, I feel no sympathy for it. – I think you’re a horrible, horrible person. – Really? – I would only eat the talking pizza if what it said was, “Feel free to dine upon me, “it’s cool, man.” I mean, it would have to, It would have to be like, counseling me through this traumatic event of me eating the thing that’s talking to me. It would have to, you know what? “This is what I’m made for, “I’m not feeling any of this, what I am is–” – He doesn’t have a choice in what he’s made for. Now, if it’s a person– – Who does? – If it’s a person who is somehow embodying a piece of pizza either purposely or accidentally– – Is it a human voice or is it a pizza voice? I’m seeing this as a human voice coming out of a pizza. – But does it talk like the piece of pizza on Uncle Grandpa, which is played by the guy that sounds just like Jack Black and I think is the guy from Workaholics? – Yeah. – Adam. – Who we see at the Clippers game. – What’s his name, Adam? – Adam. Adam Devine. Or De-veen, I’m gonna have to search that. – He’s a sentient being. – Yeah. He’s sentient. – Yeah, I would eat the piece of pizza. – The pizza would have to be constantly coaxing me into dining on it. – Listen, I’m in charge of this situation. – You’re a horrible man. – Between me and the piece of pizza. – Gosh. – Next question. – I’d rather not do this show with you anymore. – Well, you’re not a piece of pizza. – Well, I know you’re not gonna eat me, I’m just saying, ethically. – Christian, or Christen Bassford, “What is the best way to organize your clothes? “Hang it or fold it? “Should shirts be color coded or organized by “sleeve length or function? “How far apart should hangers be placed?” Lots of questions in this. – Well, I’ve asked all of these questions of myself and more. – When it comes to them, I’m sure. – Oh, yeah, when it comes to the organization and placement of anything in my life, my wife and I are both in like, lock-step. – Are you in lock-step meaning that you– – It’s sexy. – Well, it’s not, it’s a little annoying but– – Listen, I’m not asking you what drives our intimacy. – No, are you both in lock-step meaning that you have the same system or just you’re both very organized? Do you guys have the same system to organize your clothes and do you discuss it or do you just have your own? – We have a walk-in closet that we share, off of our bedroom. – But it’s divided between your side and her side? – I have my, I have the in part and she has the whole right side, which is twice as much as me and then she has the left part for her like, shoes and then I have like, a half of a shelf for some of my shoes. And I was coming out of the walk-in closet yesterday morning and she’s in the bathroom, she came out at the same time– – You were walking out? – I was walking out and she’s walking out of the bathroom, we met and she said, “Did you notice the closet?” And I was like, “Uh, no, actually.” And I turned around and looked and it looked as pristine as it always does and she was like, “I worked on the closet yesterday.” I was like, “Oh, I actually didn’t, “your side looks great.” She was like, “No, I worked on your side too, “I removed all of the hangers that weren’t being used “and now they’re in this other place,” and she had organized my closet ’cause she loves me so much, I felt bad for not noticing. You get to a, she’s more meticulous than I am, that’s why I didn’t notice, but I think my answer, I don’t know Christy’s answer, I think she does it differently, it’s not my business. But for mine, which turns out is her business ’cause she can reorganize in any way she wants and it’s how she shows she loves me and I accept it. First of all, I like to hang stuff versus folding things because there’s lines on stuff that are folded. – Lines. – Clothing lines. – Yeah. – Now, I still fold a lot of stuff like, my T shirts are all folded but I don’t prefer it. But I hang up all my shirts and– – But what is your system? How do you organize the shirts? ‘Cause I’m interested in that. – Short sleeve, button ups, then long sleeve button ups, but then within the long sleeve button ups it goes from less dressy to more dressy ’cause on the far left side of my closet, it gets to dress shirts, which are also button up long sleeve shirts, and then the suits. You know, you accumulate those suits that you wear once to like, award shows and then you never wear ’em again. I’ve got so many. – But within those, is there any color, attention to color? – I got all my plaids together and I got all my solids together, and then for the short sleeve, I have my plaids together and my solids together. – But there’s no like, gradation between, you got plaids separate from colors but there’s no like, darks to lights, there’s no spectrums. – No. It’s just either colors or plaids, ’cause I have so many plaids and I have to make decisions like, what am I wearing on Good Mythical Morning? I don’t wanna wear too many plaids in a row or too many solids. – You may be surprised to know this that, I mean, I’m assuming that you just think mine is just a free for all but, and it can be at times, but first of all, Jessie and I have invested in all wooden hangers. So, they’re like, bigger and nicer and it keeps everything separated. – I love that. – And we’ve gotten rid of the wire hangers and sometimes the wire hangers get in there when you bring something back from the dry cleaner and then you’ve got– – That’s why Christy cleaned out my side. – And as much as I’m not really that anal about this stuff, it does bother me and I do like to have them, I do have another, I experimented with two different ways, I, at one point, experimented with a fully color coordinated closet. – Meaning you did it once and then it just devolved over time. – Meaning that I did it and then realized that you make choices about your, your more often the driving factor in making a choice about clothing is occasion and weather. – Right. – Which means that the function of the clothing, be it more dressy, less dressy or long sleeve, short sleeve, that’s the driving factor in the choice matrix that you have in front of you. – So, you evolved into my system. – Yeah, but I’m very bad about – Maintenance. – keeping it intact because I get home and I’m like, oh, and then I’ve got like, I don’t like to put things in the dirty clothes. – Oh, yeah. I’ve got a chair and I just drape, drape, drape, drape, drape. – Well, what I do is at the end of the day, I smell the pits because that’s really the only thing, I don’t get stains, I’m not a child. I don’t get stains on my shirt. So, I smell my armpits. – And it goes in the bin or it doesn’t. – Not while it’s on, I take it off of me. – Oh, and then you smell it. – And then I smell it, ’cause you don’t wanna be smelling it from your pits. – No, that’s a good point. – And then I’m like, is this acceptable? And then there’s a level of BO that you can smell in the pits that you know will dissipate within 24 hours. – Yeah. – Or the next time you wear it. – And then there’s a level of stink that you know is so deep set that this is – It’s like an animal mating, – irredeemable. – animal mating scent, that musk. – And this is the kind of thing that you have two choices: you can get it dry cleaned or you can sit it into a spot in your closet for like, two or three months and let it just evolve the scent away. – Yeah, it’ll, whatever’s living there will die. – Yeah, so, I don’t stick with this very often but we do have a relatively organized, and the same percentage break down between my side with the walk-in closet and she takes up 75% of it, I’ve recently had a negotiation to get back a section of the closet. – Ooh, you trying to reclaim? Like landing in the Netherlands? – I just, (laughs) yeah, exactly, I said– – You gotta build a shirt canal. – “I would really like to get this section back.” – Well, I hope you really built that up. – Well, no, but you know what it was? – I’d like to go out to dinner. – What you just talked about with the dress clothes, so, with it being on Fallon two times this year and then like– – Did we mention we were on Fallon? – Some award show. – And some award show this year. – We never dress up, so we’ve got these very few occasions that we dress up and we always get something new for those occasions and then I just have this outfit that’s big and bulky and it’s like, bagged, and you get it all together and it’s like, my dress section got bigger than it needed to be and now, I’m spilling, man, I’m spilling everywhere. – You know what you should do? – So, I’m negotiating for that spot, I don’t have it yet, though. – You should pay your gardener in suits. (laughs) Get a tall gardener. – He’s not my size. Arthur James Froad. – Froad. – “If you guys weren’t doing GGM,” I don’t know what that is. – We’re not doing it. – Good, good morning! (laughs) And you mean GMM, that’s fine, I’m not gonna make fun of it. “What would your dream jobs be?” – Man, this is tough. – Now, we’ve answered this before, I’ve been thinking about this because we’ve answered this before that I would be a paleontologist. – I would be a hair stylist. – Again, I’d be a professor of that, ’cause paleontology, professor, they went to dig up dinosaur bones. – I might be a traveling hair stylist ’cause I don’t wanna be confined to one place, I might be on like, digs. Can I be the hair cutter on the digs? – Yeah, yeah, no problem. But recently, I’ve been thinking about this more and I think I actually have a, I’ve come up with a job that doesn’t exist that I would like and that is a fast food item taster. Somebody who lives at home. – Yes. – And has experimental items that are going to be introduced at fast food restaurants, like whatever the next McRib is or whatever the next weird Carl’s Jr. thing where they put like, four different kinds of meat together on a sandwich. – Taco Bell’s got a lot of desperation. – Yeah, and because I’m the kind of guy that responds to this sort of advertising and needs new-fangled rearrangements of food that already exists. – You want them to Postmate it to you? – I want them to give it to me so I can– – Is it Postmate or Postmaid? – You can do it however you want to. – Postmate it. – I will take it and I will eat it and I will give notes on it to let the fast food people know if it’s a good idea or not because I’ve had a good palette for that kind of thing and I accept a lot of things. – What’s that wine taster called? – Sommelier. – Yeah, you’re like a fast food sommelier. – Yeah. – An experimental food-ommelier. – Yeah. That’s what I would be. – I think I would just work on a factory line. – (laughs) Oh, really? – Like, pull the lever, pull the lever, mindlessly pull the lever. Simple, it’s just, it creates lots of brain space for – Other kinds of thoughts. – other things. – Okay. – Or no things. – Alright, noted. – That meditative state you were telling me about earlier? You might refer to it as a rut. Pull the lever. (chuckles) – I could see you doing that. I could see you doing that. – Darlene Agel asks us, “Now that it is possible, is it ethical “for me to raise my kids almost exclusively “on all of the ’80s and ’90s entertainment “I enjoyed as a kid?” Is it ethical for her to only show her kid things that she enjoyed as kid? – I don’t know if this is a legit, I don’t know if this is a serious question, I’m going to– – But it is possible. Because there’s so much retro stuff happening. Like Fuller House. – Well, but that wouldn’t technically be, I don’t think that would apply here because that’s not, it’s from the ’90s but it’s not, it’s of the ’90s but that is from the ’90s. – You’ll be watching actual Full House. – This is a good question because first of all, I don’t abide by this, I’m not gonna judge your ethics either way but this does remind me, I do show my kids things that I enjoyed as a kid. You know, let’s watch Back to the Future together, let’s watch ET, let’s watch the Goonies, let’s watch these ’80s movies that were very formative. – Well, I did that too but for me, it was I want you to watch all the movies that I should have watched as a kid. – ‘Cause you didn’t watch any of those movies as a kid. – Because every single one you just mentioned, I watched for the first time along with my kids. – Like in the past five years. – Which hey, I was just saving it, it’s like a form of entertainment virginity. – And some of that stuff holds up, you know? I mean, some of the movies hold up, some of them don’t, some of them are like, man, it was bad back then, some of them, you’re like, this is so good and kids are a great judge and a barometer for that because– – I thought Ghostbusters one held up pretty well. – Ghostbusters Two did not hold up. – Like, the gargoyle things, I mean, that was a claymation moment, like, that didn’t hold up. The comedy certainly held up and it made up for the special effects, which in some of them, many of those still held up. Like the slimer. – But this raises another question that is related to this. And it’s somewhat serious, Link. – This is your question? – Somewhat serious. – Go it. Go for it. – Just because the question is about kids and what they watch and that kind of thing, sometimes you’ll watch like, something from the ’80s and you’re like, oh, it’s PG, this is totally fine and then you realize that PG in 1985 was a totally different thing. – Oh, yeah, like Beetlejuice would drop an F bomb. – Right. And so, that reminds me of something that we see this repeatedly on our videos, right? So, we live in the comment culture where we know what you think about what we do. And that’s part of the business that we’re in. And on a somewhat frequent basis, we make a video that has what a certain percentage of our audience thinks is questionable content, right? One of the most recent is when we put on women’s bras and put some double D gel based boobies in the bra and we proceeded to bounce around in slow motion to see, to ask a legitimate question which was what’s the best sports bra? I mean, you need to know these kinds of things. – Well, yeah, you need to know those type of things but it also seems like it would be pretty hilarious for us to, then our application is we’re gonna be the ones to test it, we’re not gonna get women in here to do it. – Right. – Of course we could have done that. – But whenever we do something like that– – We know women! – Whenever we do something like that, okay, couple of girl-men wearing bras, jumping around, boobs going all over the place, even though they are gel boobs, they’re not real boobs. – Falling out, splatting. – There’s a certain person with a certain sensibility, or sensitivity who’s like, “I don’t find this content appropriate,” right? And specifically, it’s usually “I don’t feel comfortable “letting my children watch this show with me anymore “because you guys do things like this.” – Now, you’re basically quoting a comment that we read. – Oh, I’m quoting, this is a representative comment that’s on that particular video but it’s on a certain percentage of our videos where we cross what some people perceive to be a line that we shouldn’t cross. – Yeah, and there’s different, those lines are different for different things, it’s not just when we do things that women should do, or that they think women should do. – Well, I mean, it could be anything, there’s a number of different things, I don’t wanna get into the nature of what triggers certain people but I do want to talk about it because I think, I’m genuinely interested in this. I mean, the first thing I’ll say is that I don’t place any blame on somebody who says, “I think you guys crossed a line “and this isn’t what I want my kids to watch.” You make the decisions for your children that you feel are best and that’s your business and I have absolutely no judgment on that, I have nothing to say about it. Second thing I will say– – Because about that one, we certainly learn, being parents ourselves, you learn very early when you’re talking to other parents that you gotta be very careful about passing judgment on decisions they make as parents. – Right. – We learned not to do that. – We learned that a long time ago. – Just because you have kids doesn’t mean you can start talking about what other people should be doing with their kids. – No, it’s the people who don’t have kids who judge how people raise their kids but when you have them, you’re like, oh, crap, alright, I’m not gonna judge anybody. – But no, I think these comments are coming from people with kids and they’re like, “I’m not comfortable with “my kids watching your show because you wore a sports bra “with fake boobs in it and you jumped around “on a trampoline.” – People just say, “You crossed a line,” or whatever. Now, one thing I will say also is that this is not new, we’ve been getting these comments for 11 years, ever since we’ve been doing YouTube. People like to think that things have changed, that things have gotten worse but we’ve gotten these comments all along the way but the second thing I’ll say is that our show and everything that we do, none of it is targeted at kids. None of it is intended especially for children, right? Our content is content that we, our videos are videos that we think are funny, so one question is, do you guys think this stuff is funny? Well, we wouldn’t do it if, I think, when I see Link in a bra, a sports bra, I find it funny, yes, when we put fake boobs in there and he starts jumping around on a trampoline, yes, I find that funny. We wouldn’t do it if we didn’t think it was funny. – Yeah, when you did the Pamela Anderson Baywatch run. – I thought that was hilarious. – I found that very healthful. – Yeah. I’ve been watching myself multiple times, (Link laughs) over the past couple of weeks. Now, – Oh, it was ridiculous. – so, our content is not intended for kids. However, everything that we, for the most part, everything that we do, especially anything that you’re gonna see on Good Mythical Morning, we make it, the standard that we kind of apply to is is that I would let anyone that I know watch the things that we do on Good Mythical Morning. Now, it’s not for kids, but I, personally, would let, I’m not gonna do anything on the show that I don’t think a kid could watch. My standard might be different than yours. – And, well, I’ll go one step further, I mean, I think we’ve said this before but my own kids, like, I don’t wanna, I was about to say I don’t wanna go home and show my kids an episode and be embarrassed, but I’m being embarrassed because it’s so ridiculous, I mean, I’m not really embarrassed. But I’m not gonna like, say, alright, even Lando, at, you know, you’re eight years old, but you can’t watch this episode. – But he’s not eight years old. – How old is he? Seven. – I think he’s seven years old. – Yeah, seven. – Yeah, ’cause my son is eight years old. – Yeah, that’s right. – Yeah. – He was six, that’s what confused me. I thought he was an even number. – You don’t go from six to eight, though, that just doesn’t happen anymore. – I thought he was an even number, I got three, man. – You have stuff to keep up with. – 14 and 12, I got that on lock. – And then seven. – And then it’ll change, well, Lock’s your son’s name but that’s not what I meant. – Yeah. – Anyway, what I’m saying is I’m comfortable with my kids, even at age seven, watching everything we do but I don’t make it for my seven year old to watch, is kinda what you’re saying. – Yeah, and people have different standards and it’s fine and like I said, we live in a comment culture, we’re gonna continue to get those comments. You can continue to make those comments but I think it’s important to understand those two things that, A, it’s not for kids, B, we make stuff that we think is funny and I’m gonna add a C, just to clarify, and we do things that we think is appropriate for everyone, for all ages and that’s what we’re gonna do when it comes to Good Mythical Morning and you know, you can draw a line at a different place, that’s where we draw the line. We’re not trying to push the limits, we’re doing what we think is funny and appropriate. – What he’s saying is we’re sorry and we won’t do it again. – Yeah. – I think that’s what he’s saying. Another question. – Breezy. – Breezy Brianna Steen, Stein. Breezy Stein. Breezy Stein, you know if you get yourself a big stein, that’s like a glass, right? – She says, “Why are Egyptian artifacts and tombs cursed? “You never hear about Greek temples or tombs being cursed. “Do Aztec temples have curses?” I’m not equipped to answer this one. I’m not sure why I asked it. – I don’t know that I’ve ever heard about a Greek temple or tomb being cursed. – Well, here’s what I’ll say, this is my honest answer. – I could have heard about it and it just didn’t stick with me. – I don’t think anything is cursed, I don’t think curses are real, I don’t think they’re physically possible. I don’t believe in those kinds of metaphysical things and therefore, I don’t believe that Egyptian artifacts or tombs have curses that are any different than Greek or Aztec temples. – But then, if you were in like, an Egyptian tomb and it was dark, do you remember that time we were at that film festival? – I’d still be scared. – And we went down in those stairs, ’cause you were like, “There’s some stairs “in the back of this old theater and it is dark, “I mean like, pitch dark. “Let’s go down there.” – I don’t believe in ghosts but I’m still– – But then you got scared. – I still get scared. – Deep down. – Yeah. – So, maybe that’s revealing something. Maybe that’s your body knowing something that your mind doesn’t know. – I think it’s a survival adaptation. I think that if there’s something that enters your mind as a possibility that it could harm you and if that enters your mind because of cultural customs or something you see, a movie, then if you find yourself in a situation where it’s actually to your advantage to picture those things in your mind and want to avoid them, whereas it actually may be some impulse that results from like, wanting to make sure that like, a lion’s not about to jump outside a bush and eat you. – You’re sounding very Greek right now. – Yeah. – Maybe that’s it, maybe the Greek culture didn’t allow for the curses. – Josh Gazheri, “Do you wipe sitting down or standing up?” We answered this question on… – We explored this in depth on – Good Mythical More. – Good Mythical More, and we asked, ’cause we played, well, we played a guessing game with the crew but I mean, just to answer it again, I wipe sitting down, dude. I reach around the back and I wipe. – I wipe sitting down and then I do one last one standing up just to make sure. – Just on your way out. – But I’m gonna do this, I haven’t asked permission but I’m gonna do this because I feel like I need to. – Don’t wipe right now. – I feel like I need to set the record straight for Alex because… (laughs) – What did he say? – Alex said that he wiped from the front, which ever since he said that, everybody’s thought he’s crazy and if you try to wipe from the front, you recognize that would be a crazy thing to do, for anybody, man or a woman. Alex doesn’t actually wipe from the front, but he said that he wipes from the front because he misunderstood the game. When the game, when it was told to him the answers that he would be writing down on that thing when he had to play the game, he thought that he was supposed to be making up an answer to try to get us to believe something. And then once the game started happening, he realized that he supposed to have answered the question honestly ’cause it wasn’t explained to him thoroughly. – He was supposed to lie and then stick to it. That’s part of it, like, are you lying? And then it would be revealed, hey, I was lying, at the end. – And so, but then in the midst of the game, he felt the pressure and he went ahead and said, “I wipe from the front,” and tried to defend it and now everybody thinks that he’s crazy, he’s a crazy person and he didn’t feel– – Well, he might be but not for that reason. – And he didn’t feel right about stopping and saying, “Guys, I didn’t understand the game. – That’s why we love Alex. – “I don’t really wipe from “the front,” so, thank you, Alex, for going along with the game but I just felt like we should set the record straight, that Alex wipes like a normal person. He is not wiping from the front. He never did, never will. – Well, I’ll tell you, I mean, moment of honesty here. You know what? I’m not ashamed of this. I have taken up, recently, the practice of peeing sitting down. And I’m not gonna, what? I’m not gonna apologize, to you or anyone. But I am going to try to explain myself to you. – Yeah, well, please do. – Mostly at work, because what’s happening is– – Hold on, you’re sitting down on these? – I’m sitting down on these, yeah. – And peeing? – Yeah. – And here’s why, what I’ve noticed is that I don’t go to the bathroom to pee until I really, really have to go. – Mm-hmm, that’s healthy. – Because we’re so busy, you know, we move from one thing to the next. I mean, I’m not complaining, I’m just saying that we move from things so quickly, you almost have to schedule time to pee because of how we move around and stuff. – Yeah, I’ve noticed that lately, people probably think we’re like, what do you guys do? Well, I’m not gonna try to defend our schedule but I will say that peeing is a burden lately. – It is a burden, right? – I gotta get into this thing and we gotta have this conversation about this thing, we gotta have this meeting, but I have to pee and if I pee, I’m gonna be two minutes late for this meeting. – Every second counts, so you hold it and hold it. So, I’m like, holding it through meetings or shoots or whatever, I have to pee like a Russian race horse right now and I don’t know what that means, if that’s offensive to people. (laughs) – Well, I think it goes back to a story. – If I just offended a Russian race horse, I’m sorry. – It’s not Russian as in like, the country Russia, it’s rushin’ like, R-U-S-H-I-N, apostrophe. Rushin’. – Oh, it’s like they’re rushin’ to the restroom? – I have no idea, look that up, is it Russian race horse, or rushin’ race horse? – Let me make my point first. – I think it’s Russian like Russia, the country. – So, when I get to the bathroom, right, I’ll look it up. – Yeah, I gotta know now. – Pee like a, – Russian race horse. – Russian race horse. Origin. ‘Cause it did come up as Russian. “In the ’70s, trainers stared giving a drug called ‘lasix’ “to their horses. “The drug causes the animals to pee urgently and copiously “before a race, often in front of the crowd. “Peeing like a Russian race horse, “the expression probably originated in rural America “where people know about horses.” – Oh, they know about horses. We’re always coming back to horses. But what’s Russian about it? – In Russia. – Did you give ’em lasik surgery, is that what you said? – No, it was a drug that like, they would get them to evacuate before, – To lighten the load. – before a race, often in front of the crowd. – Well, that was interesting. – And I don’t know why they were Russian. – The Russians tend to, I mean, they are the ones that are most often caught in the doping scandals. I will say that. So, I guess it applies to the horses as well. Nothing against the Russian people enjoying the show, I’m just saying you got a reputation for doing the doping when it comes to the Olympics and stuff. You know? No harm, no foul, but you know, we don’t allow that. – Yeah, I think it’s something in there, I mean– – What’s your point, though? – So, when I get to the restroom, I’ve got quite a payload. (laughs) And I would stand and pee, forever, to the point where I would get tired. – Oh, gosh. Standing? – And I would have, yeah. But I would have to, I would try to rush it, like I’d try to like, – Rush it? – try to speed up the rate at which the exit occurred, which you can do, you know, you’re like, force it, force it now! – Ooh, that’s not healthy. – That’s like, ’cause literally, I know people are waiting on me for the next thing. – That’s not the way to do it, though. – Right and I was like, first of all, I’m not gonna do that anymore but then, it’s just taking so long and I feel like I’m standing there forever. I just need a rest. So, I was like, next time, I’m sitting down and I’m gonna take a little respite. And I’m actually going to get done quicker than trying to force it and then think I’m done and then I’m not. You remember that scene in A League of Their Own where Tom Hanks is peeing forever? – And Geena Davis can hear it. – He stops, and then he starts again, and then he stops, and he starts again. – Yeah. – I laughed so hard the first time I saw that scene in that movie, it may have been the hardest I’ve ever laughed at a movie. (laughs) It was so funny to me and I can relate to it. So, just, you know, just going with it, it’s kind of like you cleaning out the leaves from your pool, playing the spa music. It’s like, that is now what I feel like when I pee, I just relax. And I’m like, this is gonna take the amount of time it’s gonna take and the world is gonna stop, it’s all gonna melt away. And then I’m gonna flush it. And it’s a moment of centering for me. – Now, I can’t– – But you can’t do that standing. – I can’t hold that against you if that’s what you see it as but I see it as a privilege. You know, to me, it’s like throwing a rock at a pole or something like that. – I don’t need to turn everything into a carnival game. – But why not? If I’ve got an object or, in this case, a stream and then there’s a ring that I can aim at, you know, (laughs) just think of it this way, if I go to the city fair, after hours, and I go past the games. – You’re gonna pee on it? – No, no, no, though I may. (laughs) If I go past a game where you try to throw the ball into the bucket and make it go up, and then board, and then go into the bucket, and I don’t have to pay a dollar a ball. – You’re gonna pee on that. – I’m gonna go and I’m gonna do it. Every trip to the bathroom, for me, is like a free state fair carnival game where I always win. (laughs) Because I am gonna feel good, there’s a reward, there’s an intrinsic reward of relief and I can aim at different things, and I don’t wanna get graphic here, but if somebody’s left like, a little something on the inside of the bowl, I aim at that and clean it right up, like a frickin’ power washer. – You should come to my concrete backyard with that. – You have absolutely no opportunity to do that by sitting down because it’s all in the dark. By sitting down, it’s like going to the state fair and just sitting in the bucket that they’re trying to throw the ball in. That’s not playing the game, that’s a guy just relaxing. You’re like a carnie taking a break. – Yeah. – And listen, – You got that right. – there’s nothing wrong with that, but I see life as a game and you see it as an opportunity for respite. (laughs) – No, my life is a game but sometimes you gotta warm the branch. – Well, that’s what taking a crap is about, Link. For me. It’s spending a little extra time on there. Not too long until you get hemorrhoids. – I need more breaks, I only have one of those a day, man. So, that’s it. I don’t sit down all the time, I just sit down when I’ve got a really full bladder. – Okay. Isaac James asks, “What do you think of “the newfound shrimp species, Pink Floydia?” Can you look this up, Link? Because – I know nothing about this. – I heard about this. It is a new shrimp species that was discovered that was named after Pink Floyd because of this very large, pink claw. So, it’s just Pink Floyd and then I-A at the end of it. – Shrimp? – Shrimp, Pink Floydia shrimp. – Pink Floydia shrimp recipes? – No. And click on that picture, click on one of those pictures there. This thing is amazing because it has the ability with that pink claw to vibrate that pink claw at such a frequency that it creates a sound that is so loud it creates this bubble and kills fish. – Oh, yeah! I have heard about this. – Is there technical information about it in the article? Because I wanna know if I’m right about this. – It snaps, right? – What does it say technically? Don’t watch the video, read the article ’cause it says it there. – I don’t like to read. – Just read, it’s like, three paragraphs at most, it’s like, one paragraph. – “The shrimp found on Panama’s Pacific coast “have been dubbed Synalpheus pinkfloydia, “pinkfloydi “in the peer-reviewed journal, Zootaxa. “Oxford University Museum of Natural History “researcher Sammy is one of three researchers credited “with discovering the creature, “he says the description of the shrimp was “‘the perfect opportunity to finally give a nod “‘to my favorite band.’” – But what does the shrimp do? – “According to Oxford, pistol or snapping shrimps “close their enlarged claws at a rapid speed “to create an imploding bubble. “The result is a sound so loud “it can kill or stun a fish.” – What in the world, how does this happen? – It’s like his claw is emitting, is yelling. Bop! It’s like, breaking the sound barrier or something. Well, these are all my words, which means they’re all inaccurate, so I can just read this again. “Rapid speed to create an imploding bubble. “The result is a sound so loud it can kill or stun a fish.” – So, how can you move your claw so fast underwater that it creates an imploding…? I don’t understand. I don’t understand the science. But I will answer the question, what do you think of it? I think it’s awesome. I think it’s, honestly? I’m not a huge fan of when you name something after a band or something like that. The reason why do it, and I understand the reason they do it, the reason why scientists do this is because today, scientists, in order to get normal people to care about the work that they’re doing, they have to get cute because a lot of people don’t care about science. – Yeah. – So, you gotta have guys like Bill Nye. – Gotta put some rock music in it. – Or Neil DeGrasse Tyson. – Yeah. – Who have gotta be cool and have to, and I love both of those guys and I think they’re doing great work but the fact that they have to be cool and explain everything in like, a dumbed down way to get anybody to care about it, I think it’s kinda sad. You gotta call the shrimp Pink Floyd just so people will care about it. Isn’t it awesome enough that this shrimp has the ability to vibrate its frickin’ claw at a frequency that creates an imploding bubble that can kill a fish? That, you don’t need Pink Floyd to make that awesome. I mean, Pink Floyd, they’re a group. Let them be awesome with their music, but let the shrimp be awesome by himself and give him the right and privilege of having a name all to himself. Why do they have to name him after a band? Are we really that desperate for clicks? Yes, we are. – Yes, we are. Now, let me read a little bit more because even the details, once we dig a layer deeper, it gets even more fascinating. I think I, I can’t remember where I heard about this but I’ve heard about it. “The shrimp can close its claw at amazing speeds. “The two claw halves hit each other on claw closure “up to 30,000 RPMs. “The tip of the moving part of the claw moves at “20 meters per second. “The water that is located between the claw halves “is squeezed out and forms a water jet “with the speed of 30 meters per second, “or 100 kilometers per hour. “The speed of the water jet is so high, “that we get a drop of the pressure “to below the vapor pressure of water, “resulting in cavitation. “Cavitation occurs when the water velocity is very high, “in which case the pressure drops considerably “because of the Bernoulli principle. “The pressure drops even below the vapor pressure of water “and the water will vaporize or boil, so to say.” – What? – Yeah. – You mean, he’s boiling things down there in the ocean? – The water is moving so fast, it basically boils. – So why do we gotta name him after Pink Floyd? Now, I will say, we’re talking about because he named it after Pink Floyd. We’re being amazed by science because some scientist decided to name it after Pink Floyd. And what can we say? I mean, talk about the click bait culture, I mean, what do we do for a living? – Bait ‘n’ click, baby. – You know? – You can’t bait ‘n’ switch. – You can’t bait ‘n’ switch. – Bait ‘n’ click ‘n’ satisfy. That’s our thing. – Bait for the click and deliver. – Satisfy. Bait ‘n’ click ‘n’ deliver, it’s like an OBGYN. – Mmm, I don’t even wanna know how that makes sense. – We can explore it. – Let’s end with one here from Darwin Hannon who says, “Holy cow! “I didn’t even realize Ear Biscuits was back.” – Wow. – That’s not a question, that’s a comment, but I do think it’s appropro. – That’s disturbing. – Because I think, you know, this is telling, Darwin. Nothing against you, you didn’t know, you don’t watch every video, that’s cool. – It’s not your fault, man. – Most people don’t. But I think what this represents is a situation. The situation that if you are currently listening or watching this podcast, you have the opportunity to help with and that is, not everybody knows about this, you know, we put it over here on the This is Mythical channel, and of course we put it wherever podcasts are available but between season two of Ear Biscuits and season three of Ear Biscuits, there’s a long break. – It’s a big, long gap. It’s like the gap between the claw pieces was really wide and now we’re just trying to bring it down. – Trying to move it at 20 meters per second, to create some negative pressure so we can snap you back into this podcast routine. – Yes, do it. Snap your people back. – But what you can do is you can tell people, listen, you know, and maybe you’ve got friends who are like, I don’t watch those idiots that dress up in women’s clothes and shake their boobs all around, I’m not into that, who do you think I am? My kids can’t watch that. – We get it, but there’s more. There’s more to us than that. – Every week, – This is it. – we sit down at this table and we have, what we think, is a conversation. – What, they just had it. – We think it is a conversation. Do you think it’s a conversation? – Well, let them describe it in any way they want but– – Do you think it’s a conversation worth listening to? – Well, then, tell ’em. – Tell other people about it. – Tell the Darwin in your life. – It means the world to us and other ways that you can help, continue to support Ear Biscuits and make sure that Ear Biscuits stays here for a good while. It is leaving reviews on iTunes, commenting, liking here on YouTube. – Mm-hmm. – What other things can they do? There’s other things that you can do at other places wherever you enjoy podcasts. – Sit while peeing. Make me a reservation to ride a horse in an exotic location. – Okay. – Or record those shrimp. Which is difficult to do because of– – Acoustics in the water. – Yeah. It’s difficult. – And I think you just ask a lot of other people, I would just ask ’em for likes and comments and sharing and telling, reposting this. – Oh. It’s not, this isn’t time for my wishlist? – Yeah, tweet about it, hashtag Ear Biscuits, you know, that kind of thing. – Yeah, hashtag Ear Biscuits. – Easy stuff on social media. – Let us know what you think, guys. Thank you for being your mythical best. We’ll speak at you next week, it’s every Monday morning. To watch more Ear Biscuits, click the video on the left! – To watch more from This is Mythical, click the video on the right! – And don’t forget to subscribe by clicking the circular icon. – Thanks for being your mythical best.