Gianmarco Soresi Eats His Last Meal

Channel: Mythical Kitchen

YouTube Video ID: hwuztjYUTZk

Episode Post Date: April 30, 2026

Transcript

I'm John Marcosi and this is my last
meal. [bell]
Every person has exactly two things in
common. We all got to eat and we're all
going to die. Today's guest is an actor,
comedian, and podcast host who sold out
theaters all across the globe. And he's
coming to a town near you. You can catch
his 60-minute comedy special out on his
YouTube page, but of course you know him
from his work in the teeth whitening
infomercial space. John Marcos, welcome
to the show. Hello. One of my first TV
credits. Paid in teeth whitener. And uh
I didn't use the product, so it was a
lie. Full lie. Wow.
>> It was it was it was like a 10-year
contract. And it I never heard about it.
And then during CO or postco, everyone
was getting their teeth looking good cuz
they had been, you know, scured away for
so long. And then it was everywhere. It
was on CBS. And so I I looked I was like
please can I renew this contract, get
some money or some more teeth whitening
products, frankly. And uh that's
couldn't get it. Well, we got some teeth
whitening products for you today. We got
the Power Swabs whitening swab.
>> We couldn't afford your full day rate of
the two-month plan. And so we figured
we'd at least send you home with this.
>> This is worth 3 years back in the day.
Thank you so [laughter] much. Good
>> time, man. Uh have you thought about
your last meal before?
>> Never with this complexity. I always
thought of it like one dish, not seven.
>> Yeah. And it was always McDonald's in my
head. It wasn't like fancy. It was pure
nostalgia based. That's my treat.
>> Um, how often do you think about death
in general?
>> A lot. A ton. I had I had terrible death
anxiety growing up. You're one of those
kids.
>> I I think it was it was first Are you
afraid of the dark? I don't know if
we're a civil age. You know that show.
No, no, no, no, no. That wasn't a
question. What What a great title. Are
you afraid of the dark was like a show.
There was an episode where some guy, he
plays a a pinball machine. He's not
supposed to. He goes in the pinball
machine. He beats the whole thing, but
then he starts at the beginning and it's
like it's just the moment of like uh
eternity, infinite. I went to my I went
to my parents room all the time. [music]
Um dad's house, he's bachelor, I sleep
in the bed. Mom's house, stepdad was not
going to let me sleep in the bed, so I'd
sleep on the side of the bed. I think I
definitely interrupted [music] the one
time they were going to have sex that
year. And I didn't know, but I
remembered the look on his face. And
then when I later learned about sex, I
was like, "Oh, wow. I ruined his year."
In college, it feels kind of classic.
Just a real like, "What happens when you
die?" And I I I would look for like
scientists or philosopher cuz I was
skeptical. I was a skeptical person. And
I was I like looked into like ESP and
all the I think it's why I'm so I'm so
anti all this stuff now cuz
>> you know remote viewing you know that
there's people
>> but we found someone who claimed they
did remote viewing and they were like
put an object on top of your microwave
and I'm going to send drawings and I put
a a recorder for like a flute and I
don't know why I had it and he sent back
a rectangle, a circle, a triangle and he
was like any of those resonate and I'm
[laughter] Man,
there's nothing. I just chilled
naturally. I don't know what changed.
But yeah, college, it just like it I
should have seen a therapist. I should
have seen a therapist right away.
There's no answer. There's no answer to
any of this. You know what there is
though? There's ravioli. Great segway.
You ready to eat? So ready to eat.
[bell]
>> Marco, for the first course of your
final meal on earth, we have the beef
ravioli. Wow. with not only buton sauce,
but this is the special recipe sores
sauce with extra butter and sugar and
then one secret ingredient that does not
exist and then an ice cold yohoo and
some GDA chocolates.
>> Wait. Okay, so tell me the sores sauce.
What What do you What did you How did
you find it? I tried to put myself into
your dad's shoes of what he could add to
this to make it feel special.
>> And I added butter and then sugar cuz
that's a natural one. And then just just
a little bit of the oldest oregano that
you've ever seen. 6 years old. Has no
flavor left. I can't believe that you
cuz that is what it is. I was going to
send sauce and I asked my dad and every
time he sends me back something I'm like
this is Chhat GPT. You can't ask Chachi
PT what sizes sauces if you made it up.
He sends me back. Oh, suddenly the most
concise answer this man has ever
delivered in his entire life. No, this
is fake. But it's he always talked about
this. He always talked about this rich
Italian culture and I'm pretty sure
that's all it was was just butter
>> and sugar cuz I'm pasting it now and I'm
like, "Wow, you nailed my legendary
family's sauce." [music] So my parents
were divorced and and my dad was just
didn't know how to cook. So it was
either it was either noodles and soup or
or just ravioli. And I think he leaned
into ravioli cuz he wanted me to think I
was 100% Italian. And this is what I ate
every day. Did you ever really impress
him with how many you could swallow
whole without chewing? John Marco, did
you get know that. I don't even know
where you would have that information
>> cuz I if I'm if I'm there, I'm imagining
I'm seeing my my tall linky baby boy and
he swallows one ravioli. I go that well
that's not that impressive. But once he
gets up to five, six ravioli swall I'm
like [laughter] this kid's really going
for it.
>> I don't even know where I could have
possibly have mentioned that dude where
I thought it was impressive how many
raviolis I could swallow and I'm rusty.
I used to do six as a kid and I don't
know what I was thinking. I had no
enjoyment just just all the chemicals to
me. There's an easy armchair therapist
answer of like, God, you were trying to
get this man's attention any way you
knew how. And you had a mouth and there
were raviolis in front of you to a
captive audience.
>> I guess so. I guess so. When you don't
have talents, you got to invent new
ones, you know.
>> You know, I'm not that I am a little
Italian. He made me think I was 100%
Italian, which is impossible cuz my
mom's Jewish,
>> which is also to say made you think you
were 0% Jewish.
>> Yes. Like an immaculate birth from my
father. You ended up on a bit of a wild
goose chase in Sicily looking for
Italian relatives.
>> Well, I I did like backpacking after
college, which I'm so glad I did. But my
dad, so he said, "Whenever you get to
Italy, you got to meet the Series." And
then I got to Italy and I called and I
said, "Hey, I'm here. Where are they?"
And he was like, "I can't track him
down." He he he googled, this is before
Chachi, so he was just googling. He
said, "There's something called Seri
Villa." And I was like, "But do we know
them there?" And he's like, "I don't
know." But during co Nicolo Surzi
reached out to me. So this is it is
real. My great grandpa Luigi Serezi was
Italian.
>> He was a a a promoter or like manager
for a boxer. Unfortunately the only
picture I have of him is with Mussolini.
>> No.
>> Yes. Oh yes. It's available.
>> The one the main Mussolini.
>> The main one. You some kind of you know
a dinner affair.
>> Uh what year?
>> Uh before he did any of the bad stuff.
>> Okay. Yeah. Yeah. And um Nicolo Surzi
reached out to me and I think he's like
my cousin twice removed or whatever. But
there is a there was a seri pasta.
[music] There was a seri pasta. That's a
real thing. It was in magazines. There's
a seri street and it's around Sicily. So
it is real.
>> Yeah.
>> I don't know what percentage I am. And
my dad only cares about the father's
side. It feels like a very dad thing to
do is to get very into their family
heritage for seemingly um undiagnosible
reasons. Mhm.
>> Do you like was that a later thing in
life? Was that him trying to find like
grasp at some sort of roots that he
could hold on to?
>> I think his his father kind of abandoned
the family. It wasn't a it was a tough
family.
>> And so I think when you lack community,
>> you look towards um whatever culture has
provided you. And there is this Italian
Hollywood based culture that like I
think my dad sees the Godfather.
>> Yeah. and goes like, "That's where I'm
from." And he he he uh hated his father.
I never met I never met my my dad's dad.
He's like, "Okay, if I don't like this
guy, can I go beyond it into some deep
>> deep deeper sense of belonging?"
>> Yeah. Yeah.
>> And it's easier to deal with with way
back in the past with people you never
met cuz you have no reason to hate them.
>> Sure.
>> Even if they did dinners with Mussolini.
Where does the Yoooo come from? This was
the jam back then. It's like this is
still like I'm like ooh I remember. Did
you grow up with those kind that kind of
consciousness about food that was good
or bad for you? I know you said that a
lot of your early standup was about mov.
>> Yeah. It's like it's we grew up in the
prime time for uh moobage. I was uh not
overweight but I was chubby and I just
had a lot in my pecs and we would do so
many pool parties. I mean, I don't know
why they would do this to to kids going
through puberty, but I would get out of
the pool and I would be so
self-conscious. I'd wear my my towel
like up here and the guys would go,
"That's how women wear towels." And I
remember this kid, his name was Blake
Marriott, part of the Marriott fortune.
>> Oh.
>> And he went up to me and he went booby
[laughter]
like a boxer. But I never made the
connection between food and like my my
moves. I was so unathletic.
>> I hated working out. I hated I hated PE.
I was self-conscious about my body, but
I never but I ate like garbage. I mean,
just this
>> Well, sure. Yeah. I mean, it's yoooo and
and raviolis. When you were younger, I
mean, you grew up with so many different
steparents, parents divorced since you
could remember. Did you feel a sense of
powerlessness? And did you find a single
moment where you're like, "Oh, this is
how I can bring power and control into
my life despite being among relative
chaos." I think there was like my dad's
house. I had autonomy
>> probably too much.
>> Yeah. Yeah.
>> And then my mom's house was like this
really strict place cuz my stepfather
was very conservative. My mom like like
went the opposite direction with her
second husband. Like maybe that'll work.
There was this moment. It was my it was
my 14th or 15th birthday. And so we're
at like a we were at like the beach at a
beach house for the weekend. I couldn't
reach my dad all day. I was having
anxiety attack. I thought like he had
died
>> um and he was probably just cheating on
someone. And he called me late, like
8:00 p.m. My mom and stepdad, we had all
played a board game. My mom started,
everyone was drinking. It was getting
ugly. My dad called my stepped, we were
going to get ice cream. My stepdad said,
"Uh uh, don't pick up that phone."
And and I was like, "Oh, can I stay
behind? I need to get ice cream. I'd
like to talk to my my dad." And he he
said, "Get in the car. We're getting ice
cream." First time anyone's ever said
that as like a threat.
>> Yeah. Really?
>> And and we get in the car. My dad calls
again. And then then it goes a voicemail
leaves beep and my stepfather he says
you can call him back but I did not give
you that phone to talk to that man. Now
they had had listen how old you are at
this point. This is my birthday so like
I was just 14 or 15 something there.
>> Bad age to say to that child
>> and I'd never spoken up to this man. I
mean he's just just very intimidating. I
called my dad back. We talked for like a
minute and then we got to the ice cream
place. He looked over and he went and
[snorts]
I hung up the phone and I turned in my
sister. It's her birthday to in the back
seat, four years younger. And I turned
myself, I said, "You're just mad cuz my
dad your wife before you did."
And
he didn't applaud at all. I It was It
was uh I think he was shocked. And it
was like it was this moment where I I
really felt like I utilized my ability
to like see the for what it
was.
>> Yeah. And even though it wasn't like a
comedic thing, it felt very much to me
like
what comedy is where it's just like I'm
saying the thing on its face.
>> And he was shocked and him and mom got a
big fight. It wasn't a It wasn't a a fun
night, but I I really felt like like an
adult. Like I felt like I finally said
some of the things I was feeling about
that relationship. you you're saying the
obvious thing but with that very
specific detail which I think is one of
the beautiful things about your comedy
like when you know you talk a lot about
your your dad cheating and your mom in
various stepmoms but it's like the
specificity of these insane situations
that you're in when you were a kid like
uh seeing him give candy to the new
woman to then hand to you as if you're a
dog
>> I had those exact same memories I had
like a a really she she's the mom of my
my halfsister on my dad's side. I I
loved her and I think it was just like
after a number of women like just
disappeared from my life because they
would break up.
>> Sure.
>> And and they would just vanish that like
by the time my dad got another long
relationship when I was like 13, 14, I
mean I was I was iced to her. I don't
think I was mean per se, but I was just
like I'm not doing this this charade
anymore. you you'll be gone by
Christmas.
You know, there was one woman, she
always came over, we played Monopoly,
and I remember not again, I didn't know
it at the time, but she we went into the
car. She said, "Hey, I got a promotion
at work. I'm not I'm going to be too
busy to come around much anymore." And I
remember saying, "Can we still play
Monopoly sometime?" And she said, "Yeah,
maybe." I've never saw the woman.
>> Single tear falls down her cheek. Yes.
>> Never saw her again. And in the spirit
of all that, can I offer you a random
Gdiva chocolate?
>> We did eat some of them. And this is
quite an old box. We figured that is the
only way that people were eating Gdiva
chocolates.
>> It fits. Yep.
>> So my dad, we, you know, we get a Gdiva
and he would, that would be the dessert
for lunch. He would put one Gdiva uh in
with the ravioli and the yoooo, two
helpings of chocolate, and they'd get
old. And in fourth grade, I took a bite
of one
like, oh, it was like little like white
little like paste things here. And then
it started moving and I was like, oh my
god. We had kept this gada for so long
and it was so unckempt. There was like
little baby maggots in the chocolate.
But this one's good.
[bell]
>> America for the second course of your
final meal on Earth. Uh, we've entered
the sushi and carrots course. Wow.
>> Um, along with some hot sake as well.
Can I pour you some hot sake,
>> please? I I went to Japan this year. I
did an Asia tour, but we we did two
weeks in Japan to start cuz I just was
It's been my [music] dream.
>> Hey, come by.
>> Come by.
>> God, I love sake.
>> That is really nice.
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
>> Warms you up.
>> Japan's amazing.
>> I've never been. I'd really like to go.
I've got to go.
>> Oh, I got to go. I got to go.
>> Everyone's doing it now. It is the
thing. Someone told me that like India
was for a while was like the Eat, Pray,
Love thing, and now it's it's Japan.
>> You were introduced to sushi at a
relatively young age by your mom. But
also, I want to focus on a different
part of the story. If you notice the
flag that is here, tell me about the
Filipino nanny community of PTOIC,
Maryland. We have some lubia here if
you'd like to partake. My babysitter's
growing up on my mom's side. Uh,
maternal babysitter and paternal
babysitter, you know.
>> Sure. and uh uh Filipino and uh uh lived
lived in our house for a while as well
with with her daughter and we ate
[music] for for a white boy in PTOIC,
Maryland. We ate so much rice and egg
rolls and I think it just informed my
love of Asian cuisine and I always think
of like my like my main carb thing that
I would do, it's rice and it's because
of her.
>> I love that. Dig in.
>> Thank you. Uh, an sarap as they say in
Tagalog.
My mom likes sushi when it was still
like sushi. I don't eat raw. I like my
fish cooked.
>> That was That was a definitely a big
moment. Come bite. Come by.
>> I don't Are you supposed to shoot it
every time or you just sipping it?
>> I'm just matching you. I don't think so.
>> Trying to match you. We're doing it at
the same time.
>> Yeah, I think you sip it gradually and
peacefully. Okay, so we have an assorted
sushi platter here. We have some ai
tuna. We have a little bit of yellowtail
brushed with soy and a little bit of
serrano pepper. We have like a spicy
salmon gunkan maki with a little bit of
salmon row on top. Then we have a little
tuna cut roll and then a nice little
yellow tail crunchy roll right here.
>> Incredible.
>> Oh, and then some uh white fish with
caviar.
>> I love it all.
>> Hell yeah, man.
>> I'll eat anything.
>> Um yeah, I'm so thankful. My mom gave me
a really good diverse diet. [music] So,
I wasn't picky growing up and I really
am grateful for that.
>> Is there anything you won't eat?
>> Nothing. Not a single thing. I want to
take take me all the way to the edge of
the earth. I had a
>> Let me live there for a while.
>> A baby sparrow in Japan. Oh, it's a
place called Circus and Rice or Rice and
Circus. Circus embry
goal is clearly like pushing you. You
could get a snake. They had a whole
penis menu. Every animal's penis.
>> Most dangerous penis of all. Man,
[snorts]
>> I don't think that was there.
>> Fair.
>> Your mom is Jewish, but more culturally
Jewish. Not actually practicing the
religion.
>> She did. We did Passover. We went to
temple a couple of times. She made a
great hala. But it's really my
girlfriend now that's connected me more
to my Judas than my mom did.
>> She grew up in a hazid community. Yeah.
And she was in a kabad community in New
Orleans. [music]
A terrible place for the garbs. I mean,
it's so hot.
>> So just wet.
>> They really believe in God.
>> They really do. I think they probably
really do, which is an interesting story
dichotomy. I feel like I'm somebody who
is almost plagued by skepticism, but I'm
dying to believe.
>> I hear same brother. Hey, where do we
fall? What happens? Where do we go?
There's got to be something.
>> Drugs.
>> Drugs.
>> Yeah,
>> been there. I get a little scared
sometimes. A lot of psychosis runs in my
family.
>> I don't know if it's about God. I don't
know. There's a lot of
>> think it's ever actually about God,
though. I think it's almost all about
having something to do on on not a
Sunday, a Saturday, Friday. You know
what I mean? But as you get older, you
go, "Oh, no phones Friday, sundown to
Saturday." You go, "Oh, maybe we do need
that." Yeah.
>> The older I get, the more I go, "Yeah,
it's I have trouble with the origin of
all these traditions, but dear God, my
life's no better."
>> The more okay with conservatism, you you
must be the first person that that's
ever happened to.
>> You don't look at the s you go, "Oh my
god, if on Friday, if I had to go go
away for a whole 24 cycle and no one
worked." That's the beauty of it. It's
not that you don't work. It's that we
all agree no one's getting ahead in the
race right now and we're all going to
chill.
>> That's what I like about it. You bring
it back. Bring back more Jews in show.
[laughter]
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah. I'm working on that.
>> You've lost control of our police for
the love of God. And change your name.
Oh my god. That is terrible. You had an
agent try and get you to change your
name to something more Jewish at some
point.
>> Early manager said, "We're going to get
you a meeting at ABC. This meeting never
materialized. By [music] the way,
they're going to say hear your name.
They're going to expect Jamarosi to walk
in and Jamarco is going to walk in." I
was like, "Please, I don't like this."
>> I said, "No, I would never change my
name." I was 20. I was like 23 when they
brought this up. I was like, "That's
it's a crazy rebrand at this age." Well,
my dad, again, this is my dad's
He told me it was Gian Marco.
That's cuz he liked to say it that way.
And then I mean at time they go, "No,
it's John Marco."
>> And I go, "Well, me. I'm 16. I didn't
know how to say my name this whole
time."
>> Yeah. Your dad sort of accidentally
backed out of Italian in an effort to be
more Italian.
>> My mom's original last name was
Rothkrug, which is no better. I mean,
there's many families who still have
that. It's it's a hideous name.
>> There's there's sometimes where I want
to believe in cultural relativism. Like
I I don't know if French is actually the
most beautiful language or if we've just
seen a couple romantic depictions
[music] of French films.
>> Sure.
>> I think Yiddish is the least it's got to
be the least romantic language though,
right? There's a real lack of aesthetic
beauty in it,
>> but there's so much comedic schle.
>> Yeah,
>> there is there is that stick of it all.
See, my mom was culturally Jewish, but I
I really do believe like as I got into
comedy and I complained and I was
negative. I was like, I do think this
comes from Jewishness. And it's always
hard to tell in your life what things
you're just like globbing yourself onto
a culture that exists. But I was like,
there's something about the negativity.
I I I once called my mom and I swear the
first thing she said, she said, you
know, I don't think I've ever felt joy.
And I said, "Well, happy Mother's Day
nonetheless." And I do think like that
is a thread where I would find myself
talking to people who were raised more
Jewish and there was just a degree of
they never said to me, "Hey, look on the
bright side."
>> No.
>> And I go, "Oh, well, that's that's part
of it." I grew up in a big evangelical
Christian area in southern southern
Orange County,
>> and they all had this loving paternal
God that they could look to. And I had a
very Christian girlfriend that had mean
drunk parents. [music] And she was like,
"When I think of Jesus up there loving
me unconditionally, I feel hope for the
first time." [music] My only exposure to
God was, "He's tremendously mean and he
doesn't exist." See, I got a slightly
more optimistic version. I asked my mom
during my existential crisis, "Uh, what
do you think happens when you die?" And
she said, "There's got to be something
better than this shit."
In a way, that's that's that's hopeful.
What's the deal with the carrots, man?
>> I love carrots. My dad, we had a little
garden and we we grew like we're talking
carrots like this tall. And I would chew
on the stems. I like chewing on the
stems.
>> And then and then
>> you sound like a dust bowl farmer's kid,
you know?
>> It was like gum. It was like early gum.
And then and then when I got to college,
I think I've always I've always had oral
fixations, right?
>> Yeah.
>> Used to Never was a thumb sucker. Was a
a shirt sucker. disgusting [music]
ring of spitut sucker nut pens. I've
swallowed the back of of so many pens.
So then later you go, "Well, this is not
socially acceptable, but baby carrots
are." So that became an oral fixation
where I would just eat so many baby
carrots and and from the garden. And
then I like the juice and um it's just
something I I love. It's a healthy
snack. It is.
>> I don't know why we don't have more
healthy snacks in this country. It it it
drives me nuts. But baby carrots are
Exactly. But baby carrots. Where's
Where's Where's Big Baby Carrot? That
should be a thing. I I actually kind of
agree with you. I think we need to fight
fire with fire. There was a point where
the Dole Corporation started using
predatory marketing tactics, using
cartoon characters, but on carrots to
get kids to buy carrots. And I was like,
I'm all for it. So, I used to eat a bag
a day.
Well, get this. My mom told me when
[snorts] I was younger, she was worried
about me because my skin was turning a
little bit orange. And it's because she
was feeding me so much cream carrots and
they say that babies is their their
pigmentation is susceptible at that age.
So it's because of that.
>> So I'm convinced there's something deep
deep deep.
>> When my when my girlfriend and I we met
[music] during co and she was she was
you know she was a manager and I was a
comedian and it was a crazy time. I
don't if you remember.
>> And like we hooked up and then the next
day I was I went over there to like be
like we shouldn't do this
and she had bought me a bag of baby
carrots and I I abandoned the the plant.
>> So the um if I can just run this back.
So your girlfriend that you met during a
very traumatic time, [music]
you went to to break up with her and cut
things off, but then she fed you the
food that your mother used to feed you
to show you her love. And you said,
"Maybe that's what romantic love is." Is
the same thing that my mother gave me.
>> Yeah.
>> Okay.
>> Another Jew Freud would be thrilled with
this.
>> Cheers.
>> To sigman Freud to s to sigman. That's
>> You had a couple good points.
>> Ready to go on to course number three.
>> Yeah, but let's let's cup this up.
[bell]
>> Jargo, for the third course of your
final meal on Earth, we have spicy ramen
with extra cilantro. Oh, ice cold green
tea, McDonald's, and then a fountain
diet coke. Um, where should we begin?
So, this this is the spicy pork ramen.
We actually got this from Daikuya, which
I think is probably the best ramen in
Los Angeles.
>> Um, and then we cooked the noodles
fresh. And then we added our own extra
cilantro garnish.
>> Thank you.
>> Which I imagine you're you're
celebrating because you're away from
your uh beloved.
>> Yes. Well, for two reasons, cuz you said
pork broth as well, right? So, [music]
so this would be a nogo meal for my my
my partner cuz she grew up kosher.
>> So, so no pork and she has the cilantro
chain. One time we're at a restaurant
and uh some food comes out. Is there
cilantro? I don't like cilantro. That's
what she says. And I'm like, that's not
severe enough. Uh they bring out the
food. She takes a bite. Immediately
there's cilantro. So guy comes out. She
goes, there's cilantro. And he goes, you
know, he goes, no, there's not. And and
she goes, "There is." And he looks at
me. Nope.
>> He looks at me. I'm like, "Brother,
that's what the tip is for. You think,
baby?"
>> And and so this guy is perplexed. He
doesn't know what to do.
>> And then he left. And then a woman came
out, a a different waiter. And she said,
and I thought this was just just [music]
kudos to women. She said, "I'm so sorry
you tasted cilantro." And I was like,
"You didn't say she was right, but you
acknowledge the feeling." And then at
the end of the meal, the guy comes out
and goes, "The chef [music] said that in
the marinade for the fish before the
whole thing, there was cilantro."
And that is a good meal with my
girlfriend. There's some cuisines she
cannot have. And we waited in Japan for
this, like the ramen place. An hour and
a half we waited. We go in, it's only
pork broth. They only have cilantro. and
I'm not going to not eat. So, we parted
ways for the night and we just went to
halal ramen places after that. Thank God
for the halal.
>> Thank Muslim God. Thank God.
>> Thank Muslim God. Yes. Yes.
>> Jews and Muslims, they they should come
together and and do what they do best,
ruining dinner for everybody.
>> One would think with all the
similarities, you know.
>> Yeah. But I ate cup noodles so much as a
kid and so and I grew up on anime and
manga. So all I wanted to do was to go
to Japan and eat [music] noodles like
like slurping into my mouth.
>> Yeah. Yeah.
>> Uh and I love it.
>> On your anniversary, you posted a really
sweet message to Toba saying that she
was the person that got you to learn how
to live,
>> which is a hell of a statement to make,
especially about someone that you're
vitriolically complaining about.
What did you mean by that?
>> I just think I'm such a workaholic by
nature. I mean, I get it from my father.
I think like truly the the things that
she took from her Jewish upbringing were
like I said about like taking that time
and community, [music]
you know, didn't have married parents,
didn't have religion, didn't have a lot
of friends, didn't have sports. So, it
was just like I just worked and worked
and worked. and she kind of demanded in
a way that, you know, a a a stubborn
Jewish woman could to really demand like
you got to take some time and in a way
that that's the only way that it goes
through to me. I used to do standup
every night. Every night. And I I think
she's the [music]
the arbiter of like just making space.
And so I uh I'm very grateful for that
because because I can be so neurotic and
I can be so repetitive about it that it
it takes someone who's really
and another Jewish person of just like
the anxiety, the constant the the the to
really go like, "No, we're going to do
this." And and you know, now we we did
we did a Passover meal. We had our first
Shabbat meal. And it's those [music]
moments that I go like
>> my father,
you know, he's he works uh every I mean
every second of the day. and and he's
told me, you know, preemptively, I'm
never going to go in home. I'm going to
die at work or whatever. And I'm like
I'm like, great. But but I also think
it's [music] because I I think the the
people he dated or or married were not
necessarily
the the kind of strong willed that were
willing to stand up to his very very
powerful ego. M [music]
>> and one of the things I love about my
girlfriend is is she has she has a
formidable sense of self and and
identity and and need. It leads to a lot
of bickering, a lot of arguing between
the two of us. But like I look at
specifically the men who who don't seek
out a strong partner and how they
>> [music]
>> um
crumble as as they get older under under
the weight of their own ego and their
own lack of of of learning other
perspectives. So I'm you know sometimes
does it make dinner a little stressful?
Sure. But I think it's worth it at the
end of the day.
>> It's worth it. Dig into this Big Mac.
Oh, McDonald's fries. They got their
hold on me. Do you remember the first
time you ate a Big Mac? And did it feel
a bit like your own version of a bar
mitzvah?
Uh I I I don't know if I thought bar
mitzvah when when do you remember your
first?
>> Yeah, it felt like a it felt like a
coming of age, you know? It was like my
dad was like, "We have enough disposable
income now to where you don't have to
order off the dollar menu."
>> That's so good.
>> Is this a tour meal for you if you're on
tour?
>> No.
>> No. I've had McDonald's once every two
years. So, so this is the last one until
until the last meal. I don't know when I
have if I have kids, I'm going to have
to read books about how to deal with
food stuff. Cuz in my mind, I'm like
never McDonald's. This is you. You
shouldn't even especially in your
formative years. I don't want you to
have this nostalgic attachment to this
poison.
>> Of course. Do you think that you're
gonna have the ability to slow down your
career, which I bet necessarily you
would have to, especially in terms of
touring to be able to say have that type
of family life [music] and does that
scare you like the energy?
>> The out of me scares the out
of me to slow down touring. I I know Jim
Gaff again. I messaged him and I was
like I was really looking for a
father-son moment. I was like, "Hey,
think about just curious like what it's
like to like have a real touring life
with a kid." He wrote back, "Well, you
should have a kid. Good luck." And I was
like, "Oh, I was hoping for I was hoping
for this father-son thing." And I was
like, "He's got six kids."
>> Yeah. He doesn't have any father this
right now.
>> But one of his sons opens for him on the
road. I feel like we're kind of anti-
[music] family businesses in some way.
But there's a part of me that goes, "If
I raise a videographer, oh, the world is
my oyster. What a heaven." That was the
history of all human society was like,
"God, if only I had somebody to hoe
these fields." Oh, I should have three
kids cuz two of them are going to die.
But one of them
>> Mhm.
>> can pick up that hoe and really go to
town.
>> One kid learns how to make stools,
>> you know.
>> You know,
>> and then the least favorite, they're
just like the assistant, you know.
>> Yeah. Put an iPad in their hand early,
have them have them go to town.
>> I'm really nervous about it. I I love
traveling, but it is exhausting, too. So
I don't I don't know. I do think it'll I
don't because I also think the divorce
going back and forth my whole life.
There is this sometimes sense of like
wanting a different world like I'm I'm
at this place and then I'm at this where
my whole world is different or I'm on
the road. I'm alone.
>> Yeah.
>> So like it's a good reset. I think the
fear that I'm sure Tova has too is that
like if I ever wasn't on the road for a
long time are we going to go oh my god.
We we like we like going in and out a
little bit.
>> Sure.
>> You know that that's a dynamic, too.
>> Yeah.
>> I would want a kid that I' I'd bring
with me on the road for some stuff. I
want a kid who's well traveled. I wasn't
a welltraveled kid. I think that would
be cool. I didn't go to Asia until I was
37. I want a kid who's going to Asia
when they're 2 weeks old cuz I got to go
back to Taiwan. I got to get that soy
milk bowl for breakfast.
>> That does sound good with the UT the
donut in it. Oh, come on. [bell]
John Marco, for the final course of your
final meal on Earth, we have a simple
dessert of big ass brownie, assorted
fruit plate.
>> God damn. Plain snow cone with a squeeze
bottle of condensed milk on the side. I
can run you through uh most of the
fruits here.
>> Please do.
>> So, we have some fresh pomegranate. We
have some long gun. It's a cousin to the
litechi. We have some fresh donut
peaches. We have kiwano melon. So, these
are strawberries, but they're Harry's
berries. They're the best strawberries
[music] in the world grown in Oxard,
California. We have some big moon
grapes. We have this is called a cotton
candy mango. This is an alons mango.
>> Cotton candy mango.
>> Try that. Is that the cotton candy? I
think it's cotton candy [music] mango.
Um losing track here. Oh, this is really
cool. It's called a melon apple. Um and
then we got some classic pineapple and
yellow watermelon. Fresh mango steeen
here.
>> Did you Did you know the thing about
this?
>> No. So this the number of petals
reflects the number of pods in the
thing.
>> I had no idea.
>> Yeah. I' I've never mango steeen before,
which [music] is crazy. I was in
Indonesia. Uh this is where I got my
first in Jakarta
and they're so sweet and I just love
fruit and I I think I think about all
these fruits that we don't get in
America
>> and you got them here today. So I'm
[music] thrilled. Mango
that's amazing. What do you have any
like formative fruit experiences in your
life or you just enjoy nature's bounty?
And I just think we need more fruit as
as a as a society as snacks as gifts.
Enough a cookie, candy. That's every
gift. Uh cotton candy mango. That's a
gift cuz it is special. This is God.
This this is God. For all of human
history, we called this the work of God
until now. And we go, "Oh, maybe it's
the universe. Maybe the signs we're
getting from the universe is God."
>> I think the Big Mac is first and
foremost God.
>> I don't know that that's God. These are
all of his angels. [laughter]
>> I want to go back to your idea of
skepticism and sort of calling
on people with otherwise great beliefs.
How much do you know about Elizabeth
Kubler Ross in the medium J bar?
>> Oh, I know so much about Elizabeth
Kubler Ross because these were the kind
of people that I I looked up to for a
hot second. But Elizabeth Kubler Ross uh
she came up with the seven stages of
grief which are almost accepted as as
fact even though like all these early
psychological concepts it's just kind of
a a loose Yeah, she she wrote on death
and dying in in the '60s.
>> Yeah.
>> And then you looked up that she uh later
in her life fully supported a known um
uh [music] psychic medium complete scam
this guy. He had like a commune, a cult
or whatever with all these widows. It
was all mostly women. And he'd bring
back their husbands.
>> Yeah.
>> Uh uh to then have sex with them one
last time. And so what he do or one of
the tactics of it is you put on this
translucent cheesecloth is what these
psychics would use cuz you can really
like smush it down and put it in your
mouth and your ear, your and
[music] you and you know you turn off
all the lights, make some noises. He put
he would put it over and clearly these
are people who want to be tricked to a
certain degree but they mistook him
covered in cheesecloths for their
husbands had sex with him and then he
wasn't busted until I believe crabs
spread around the camp and they said wow
these ghost crabs are a real scourge and
so this this this woman Elizabeth Kubler
Ross two even after the scam was exposed
still said no no no he's the real deal
there was a moment when she had a friend
who drove up with her 20s, they called
them dark room sessions and was like,
"We're both people of science. I'm going
to very clearly expose this to her via
the easiest methodology, which is while
the lights were off and he was coming in
with the Ugabooga sexy ghost, she
flipped the lights on." Rather than
Elizabeth Kubar Ross going, "Oh my god,
it's just Jay. It's just the guy." She
went, "When you flip the lights on, you
killed the spirit that inhabited him.
[music] You're a murderer." And that
freaks me the hell out. Who do we trust?
Do we only have ourselves? Are we alone,
John Marco?
>> I I I think so. This makes us terrible
at parties. It really bums people out to
hear this kind of stuff. [music] We are
We are the ghost killers. We I mean, she
she wasn't wrong.
>> You know, in a way, she might have been
being like, "You ruined this. You killed
it for me."
>> Sure.
>> You killed it for me. I think she should
have added an eighth stage of like the
ghost and getting crabs. [laughter]
>> That would have been nice to know.
>> Yeah. acceptance of ghost crabs.
>> You ever uh uh heard the term um fedist
>> I believe in God because it feels good
to do so.
>> And this was a a mathematician Martin
Gardner I think his name was. He was
like a a big skeptic but he was still
Catholic or whatever. And he basically
said like I believe in God because it
feels good to do so. When I was younger
I was like that's a copout. You're so
you're saying you don't believe in God.
And I'm not a full atheist atheist. I I
always like pansychism. Do you know
pansychism? the idea that that
consciousness is an inherent element of
like all all things cuz I I do think it
emerging out of dead matter is is also
hard to fully believe. That's the only
thing I hold on to. But no, we are
alone. We we are alone and no one wants
to hear this kind of talk. And at the
end of the day, if I'm on my deathbed
and I go like, "Oh, I see there's
Elizabeth and she's getting railed and
she's she's like, "Come join us. There's
tinctures for ghost crabs in heaven. And
if I say that, I don't want I don't want
you there being like, "Nah,
>> no.
>> Turn let me turn on the lights. I'm
going to say, "No,
>> let me go."
>> And I promise you, I would never do that
to you.
>> My my [clears throat] good friend
Russell. Uh he he had a friend who
worked at like a retirement community.
[music] And you know how there's
sometimes a comfort when like an old
person there's like a video old person
blowing out her hundred candles on the
cake and going, "I hope this is my last
birthday." And there's a comfort to it
because you go, "Oh, well, maybe someday
I'll I'll be fine with dying.
>> That's the goal. Yeah,
>> maybe someday."
>> And this this this woman told my friend
who works at the retirement committee,
she said, "Trust me, at [music] the end,
none of them are ready to go.
Do you believe that?"
Uh, it sounds pretty horrifying. So,
yeah, it does feel like it reflects my
understanding of the world.
>> Oh, isn't isn't that wonderful? The way
we accept information. I think all you
can hope for is that by the end you're
drugged up enough that you can believe
in ghosts.
>> Amen. Man,
>> um there's ice melting here. What's the
deal with the plain snow cone?
>> So, when I was younger, I I the snow
cone, it was flavor was too strong. And
so, I would always get a plain snow
cone. I went to a summer camp and this
guy knew me. He gave it to me for free.
He'd sometimes put like a Swedish fish
in it. But I like it plain. I like the
texture. I've bought four different snow
coat making machines. They break really
fast. I love eating snow. You can't do
that much in New York, but this is the
closest you can get. And then if you are
feeling a little indulgent, some
condensed milk,
>> nothing better than condensed milk in
this world.
>> When you were going through all of those
death anxiety phases, was there anything
that ever actually made you feel better?
Any mantra that when you lay your head
down at night, you think about?
>> I wish, brother. I wish, brother. If if
I could go back to my younger self
dealing with this, like I mean at the
point where I'd be on my computer just
hours every day just like looking up
[music] things. I would go I go, "Buddy,
here's a solution. When you're thinking
about death, do this. Don't think about
it. Don't think about it. Don't think
about it. Don't think about it.
[laughter] Don't think about it. Don't
think about it. Don't think about it."
And and [music] I don't know if I would
have been able to take it. The lesson is
a lesson I learned when I when I get
stoned because sometimes your mind will
go there. And I learned in that moment I
was like I there's no choice. There's no
answer
>> on that other side. That's comforting.
You just got to pivot. And so I do think
that's part of it.
>> What I actually believe is we are all
stuck on this rock inexplicably due to a
miracle that should have never happened,
but ultimately had to happen. And we
need a way to simply pass the time and
find some sort of meaning before we die.
And so we crossbreed new fruits. We try
and make a a strawberry that's red all
the way through. And it was a it was a
guy who said, "I'm gonna make this red."
And he spent decades
>> trying to make this red. And then he did
it and he got to die more fulfilled than
if he hadn't, you know. And you're doing
that one crowd clip, one crowd work clip
at a time.
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
>> Inching towards fulfillment till one day
you get to die and then see on the other
side whether there's a god or not, it's
all the same.
>> That's why I do the crowd work. I'm
hoping at the end one day I go, "It's
enough. It's enough." And then I kill
myself on stage.
So, the brownie. So, my mom instilled in
me like, "Oh, if you get 100% on the
spelling test, you get like two
desserts." And listen, God bless. I
don't know how you teach kids how to do
things, but it created a real reward
dynamic system for food in my head. And
I I did really well in spelling. I I
don't feel very proud to be an American
these days, but I've had desserts pretty
much all over the world at this point.
And I gotta say a a chocolate chip
cookie and a brownie and milk. [music]
>> That's where I feel like now we we did
it. [laughter]
>> Just so I don't like cake. [music] Too
sweet. Cream's too much.
>> Sure.
>> I like density to my dessert.
>> Yeah.
>> Mark, if there's a gun to your head,
someone says, "What happens when you
die?" You got to give an answer. What do
you think it is?
>> Whatever. If should there be anything,
you will not know it. There will be no
version of you. Uh as Epicurus said, uh
when I am, death is not. When death is,
I am not. [music] I believe
consciousness is not an emergent
phenomena. I think there's something so
[music] inherent to the fact that the
only way we know anything is anything is
because we ourselves are conscious. So
you can't separate these two things.
>> I just don't I I don't believe in
necessarily an a a nothingness. And I
think it can be comforting in one sense,
but it's also terrifying.
>> You have a tremendously comforted uh
posture right now that you've adopted.
>> Like in a way, it's like, yeah, you
maybe again, it's not you. You don't
become a stream, but you but you're part
of things. [music] Uh and and honestly,
it's better that way because you know,
reincarnation isn't com isn't
comforting. You could be reincarnated as
a some human with a great life, or you
could be reincarnated as the cow we just
ate in the the hamburger. My poor kid,
when they come to me, cuz I don't want
to lie to them. I don't want to do it
like my parents did and like present a
thing, but I'll be like, I think there's
there's something.
>> I feel better already.
>> Uh, you ready to get in the lightning
round? [laughter]
>> Yeah,
>> let's do it. Who's the one person dead
or alive you'd want to share your actual
last meal with?
>> I think it would be really interesting
to meet my my uh my grandfather, my
dad's side, just to see. I don't know if
it would be a great meal. I think I
think it maybe it could be the one thing
that could get me to forgive my father.
If you had a line in Wolf of Wall
Street, what would you have said?
>> Oo, I would said, um, let me do a line,
too. Because there was a lot of cocaine
doing and not in the scene I was in.
There was all these guys, like 200 guys,
[music] and we're goofing around.
Someone put a sign on someone's back
that said, "I have herpes." No one was
watching us, just 200, the saddest
actors in the entire world watching
their dreams happen 100 feet away from
them. And and at some point they they
called cut. First director, second
director, third director, the fourth
director said, "Guys, Mars say someone
walked by the screen and said, "I have
herpes on their back. You can't do
this." And and then we all got
disciplined. So I would say, "Let me do
let me do a bump." Who's your dream
eulogizer at your funeral? Oh, Tova.
Tova is phenomenal. Tova surprised me
once where Caleb Hon actually was doing
a spot on on my show and then he brought
her up
>> and she did she did a a a [music]
killer
killer five minute set.
>> She had a great bit about how it's
different when you complain about her
cilantro allergy on set versus when she
tells her two friends that you don't
make her come
>> and it's a really great bit.
>> It's a really great
>> It's a great bit.
>> You know, she's got her own complicated
feelings with her religious upbringing
and it gave a lot of beautiful
traditions, but at the same time it
limited her from a lot of the all the
artistic ventures I got to pursue
wholeheartedly. [music] You know, you
see pockets like that, that one five
minute set and you're like, "Oh, yeah,
100%."
>> 100%. You could have been
>> felt like she was a professional. Yeah.
>> Yeah. Yeah. She is.
>> She is.
>> What's a role on Broadway that you know
you could crush right now?
>> Marvin and Falsettos.
>> It's not on Broadway right this second.
Is that okay? I don't care. Uh, what's
your biggest fear?
>> Mediocrity.
Mediocrity. I think about uh Sally and
Amadeas often and I go I've I've
inserted myself amongst Mozarts and I've
have made myself necessary but at the
end of the day I'm
mediocre.
So that's the fear.
>> What's a moral quandry you'd like to see
on Hidden Camera Show? What would you
do? The one I I think I even tried to
pitch to them, one of my openers on the
road, his name is Liam Nelson, and he's
uh he's 7 feet tall. He has more fans.
And when you're with him, you see how
many people, how tall are you? Uh uh
guys go and then you have to go, "Yes."
"Oh, just didn't expect a guy that
tall." Oh, one guy said, "What's I know
what your favorite four-letter word is?
D U C K." [music] And you go, "God, how
old is that 110 year old man?"
>> He was It was cigar bar. Yeah. He was
old. He died right after. And And uh
>> Good.
>> Yeah. Good. We said good. He said D E A
D. And
I really want something about like when
would someone step in cuz they saw so
many people like bothering him cuz it
just it's so much. So that that's the
what would you do is like what would you
do if you saw a tall man getting
annoyed?
>> I can see why they I can see why they
didn't do that.
>> I haven't done it yet. Finally, John
Marco, are you happy?
>> Uh, yeah. I'm really I'm tired and my
body hurts. I feel overstretched, but I
am happy.
>> Yeah, I'm very happy that we got to
share this meal together despite the
tiredness and the overstretchedness.
This is like truly a joy. I've been a
fan for such a long time and I really
appreciate your perspective. If you want
to deliver your last words to that
camera right there, [music]
one more thing.
Jares, everybody, you can catch him on
tour. What city is he going to? You
going to be in Tulsa? Uh, I'm
everywhere. Just find me online and
listen to my podcast, The Downside. But
I'm traveling all over. I'm going to
Europe. I'll be back in Asia. I just
love to talk.
>> The perfect way to elevate all of your
meals. The last meals bar set is
available now at mythical.com.