GMM 1276.1: Girl Scout Cookie Hacks

Today we earn our Girl Scout cookie hacking badges. Let’s talk about that. ( music playing ) Good Mythical morning! Mythical Beasts, many things have been mashed. Potatoes… Maybe that’s it. Nope! You can add movie trailers to that list, because we’re gonna be mashing together two trailers for Oscar-nominated movies, and you will not believe how well they mash up. We’re also going to be looking at the most scandalous Olympic Village behavior ever, but first, it’s Girl Scout cookie season, so it’s time for… Now, Girl Scout cookies are already delicious, but we’re going to make them delicious-er, or die trying. So get ready to have your mouths’ minds blown. Let’s hack! – ( crickets chirping ) – ( owl hoots ) Girl Scout cookie season may only come once a year, but pizza season is every day a year, so, according to math, it’s time to combine those two seasons together end enjoy some Girl Scout cook-izza. – Ooh. – And here’s how you do this. Link: You take Trefoils and Toffee-tastics, grind them up in a food processor. You make a pizza dough with a 70 to 30 cookie-to-flour ratio. – Rhett: Mmm. – Link: Roll out your dough and line the crust with Tagalongs. Bake it 450 degrees for six minutes– not that long. Dress the dough with strawberry marshmallow fluff for sauce. We have that here. And then we’re going to complete it. – Next up, we’re gonna top this thing, – Mmm. with some Tagalongs and some Samoas. I like to think of these like peppers. And I like to think of these like pepperoni. So you throw a bunch of those on there. Oop. I shouldn’t have done it that way. – That was a little too– – Yeah, that was careless. – a little too careless. You want to be more– – ( laughter ) add more– more loving placement. And then on top of that, we’ve got some coconut shavings, which– This your favorite part, Link. I don’t love coconut, but I don’t hate it. And marshmallows, which I don’t love either, – but I don’t hate ’em. – ( chuckles ) Okay. But I love– I love peanut butter. – All right. – And I love chocolate. Uh, well let’s eat these. So slice it. Now, the crust has the– has some chocolate in there. You just want a half and I’ll have a half? Yeah, we’ll just– take it. – Let’s slice it up more so Mythical crew– – Okay, what is this? Tess: Don’t forget the chocolate sauce. – Oh, gosh! – Don’t forget the chocolate sauce! Thank you, Tess. – That was a test, Tess. – Tess: Mm-hm. I get that. – Link: And then right there– – ( Tess giggles ) Rhett: (chuckling ) You passed! Link: And them I’m gonna go– I’m gonna go both ways, – Kinda like how I like to mow my grass. – Wolfgang Puck up in here. I saw him. Wolfgang Puck was at the– Keep– keep doing that while you’re talking, ’cause I want to eat eventually. He was in the airport, um, bookstore. – With his son. – Seriously? – Son seemed like a brat. – ( laughter ) I mean, what– what can you expect? You’ve got, like, a 70-year-old famous chef for a dad. – Never there. Okay. – ( laughter ) The chances that he’s a Mythical Beast and he’s watching right now, are– – are decent, so, uh… – I– you know what? I got you a slice without a Tagalong on it, but I can fix that. – I’m sorry, little Wolf. – I’m sorry, Samoa. – Dink it? – I think you’re great, little Wolf. Mmm. I’m sorry to drip on the rest of this pizza. That is magical. – Very fresh. – Got yourself some– some strawberry on top there. Mmm. Betcha Wolfgang Puck’s son would really like this. ( laughter ) You know what? Come on out. Hang out with us. – No, don’t do that. – ( laughter ) – ( crickets chirping ) – ( owl hoots ) Nobody really knows what’s inside of a hot dog unless you make it yourself. We’re gonna take the mysterious insides of a hot dog and replace them with Girl Scout cookies to make… Girl Weiners! And we’re also gonna call them… Girl Weiners. – I just said that. – I know. – Girl Weiners! I’m going to – I just wanted to clarify. say it as many times as I possibly can. – We are calling them… – Both: Girl Weiners. Rhett: Okay, for the bun, you make a dough out of four ounces of Trefoils and four ounces of Savannah Smiles and eight ounces of flour. You bake it in the oven. Then for the hot dog, you make a vanilla custard base, and then fold it into S’mores, Do-si-dos and Tagalongs. You pipe all that into an actual sausage casing, then dunk the casing in boiling water, turn off the heat, cover it, leave it in there for 20 minutes and then put it in the bun, which is what we’re about to do. Look at those Girl Weiners, Link. Oh, my goodness. It’s– Girl Weiner is bigger than you would expect. – ( laughter ) – That is– That is– – Boy, that’s appetizing. – ( laughter ) Think about all the stuff that’s in there, though. Okay, I’ll take a bun, here. – And I’ll take a… – Both: Girl Weiner. and I’ll put it in there. And then, I’m gonna add this. The bun can barely hold the Girl Weiner. – I’m gonna add the mustard– – So the ketchup, uh… is the filling from the S’mores mixed with some whipped cream. And then the mustard is the filling from the Do-si-dos, mixed with cream cheese. Now, you know, I have spotted Wolf Blitzer and his son getting Gatorade at a convenience store, once. And little Wolf Blitzer was very well mannered. Okay. Yeah, well, that makes sense. Very well mannered. Well, you know, a newsman has a very predictable schedule. He may be out really early, but typically, unless there’s breaking news, he’s home as the same time every day. A chef’s all over the place. Opening new restaurants. You know, not really a part of their kid’s life. – Let me garnish– – ( laughter ) Let me garnish your, uh– your– your– your Girl Weiner with some crumbled-up Savannah Smiles. You know what? I take it all back. I really love those Wolfgang Puck Expresses. No matter how bad the family life is, I believe that it’s all made up for those Wolfgang Puck Expresses. ( laughter ) – So convenient. – So quick. In and out. Just like, “I’m hungry and I want it fast! And I want it to be good!” Now, I’m afraid this is gonna be a gusher. – ( chuckles ) Oh, gosh. – ( laughter ) Let’s find out. ( chuckles ) Okay. ( laughter ) ( garbled ) You see what happened? ( garbled ) It popped! Uh… ( grunts ) – Link: Mmm. – Did you get a lot– ( muffled ) You see what happened to mine? Yeah, it was like an explosion. Mine popped, but– but yours scared me. – Man. – ( laughter ) It is kinda hard to get over the intestine part. It’s kind of a sausage-y pudding kind of a thing. – It’s not good. – But not– it is good. – No, it’s not. – Yeah, it is! It is not good. What is wrong with you, man? It’s like chocolate pudding. It’s great. You like pudding too much. How can you like pudding too much? – You know, to like it– – You know what? There’s too much joy in your life! Back down on the pudding lovin’, okay? You’re gonna love when you get real old and can’t eat anything but pudding. I can’t wait, man. – I’m gettin’ older every day. – Look at this. – Crew: Eww. – That’s the part of the animal that it was stuffed inside that I can’t chew through. Did you not get that? I’ll spit that out eventually. But otherwise, I think it’s great. I think it’s horrible. – ( crickets chirping ) – ( owl hoots ) Fried chicken and waffles are a great duo, but you know what makes a duo even better? A duo with three things. So we are gonna combine the forces of fried chicken, waffles, and Girl Scout cooffie– cookies– ( stutters ) coof– coof– cookies– – Or just “cookies.” – to make… Girl Scout Fried Chi-cookie and Cook-waff, Cook-affles. – It’s hard to say, but let’s see how it tastes. – But easy to eat! This is how you make it. First, you dip the chicken strips in flour and egg wash and dust it up, Savannah Smiles and black pepper. Then you fry it. We have it right here. – So we got the fried chicken. – Nice. Let’s do the waffle part here. We got the waffles here. We’ve got a batter of Toffee-tastic, with egg, milk, baking powder, and melted butter. So, just take all of that– slam it on the waffle iron. And, uh, let’s get this thing waffled up. We also have some syrup that we scraped– um, we made from scraping caramel, or “carmel,” off the Samoas and the insides of S’mores. – ( imitates steam whooshing ) – Heated all that up, so… The syrup is just waiting. We’ll probably have to wait for… three minutes, for this to waffle-ize. You know, I once saw Scott Wolf of “Party of Five” in a 7-Eleven bathroom with his kid. – His daughter? – No, his son as well. – Oh, really? – Yeah. It’s always a son. – Changing the diaper, or… – No, it was like a… like a 14-year old. – ( laughter ) – With a diaper? They didn’t know I was in there. I was actually in there doin’ my business and I forgot to lock the door and they came in. – They were both very pleasant, though. – Both pleasant. – I was not pleasant, if you know what I mean. – I do know– – Yeah. – what you mean. I think I should use this opportunity to apologize to Scott Wolf and his 14-year old son. – I was on a road trip. – Don’t make excuses. – My diet was really convoluted at the time. – Either apologize or don’t. I was eatin’ whatever I could get my hands on. – Just apologize. Okay, good. – I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I should’ve locked the door. You shouldn’t have had to see that or smell that. You just– oh. – A party of five. – Uh! There’s the light. – Link: Open it up. – Should I open it up if it says “Ready”? – What do you mean, “Should I open it up?” I don’t trust machines. I trust the humans. Ooh, nice. When I’m eating chicken and waffles, I don’t put the chicken on the waffle. I put it beside it. But we can also put it on top– There ya go. – And then we’ve got this… – Oh, that’s so nice. Move that back, if you would. I don’t wanna– I don’t wanna see you burn yourself. – And then we’re gonna just take and– – What is that? – This is the syrup, man. – ( chuckles ) S’mores and Samoa melted stuff. I think I could’ve cooked it a little longer. You know what? It’ll be nice and, uh– I kinda like a little bit of an underdone waffle. You want a little bit of an edge– Okay. I cut you a piece there. Tess: Don’t forget the chicken. We got the chicken. It’s right here. – Rhett: We got it. – We got the chicken, girl. Look at that. – This is promising. – Dink it. Sink it. ( muffled ) Oh, I just burnt myself a little bit. – On what part? – The waffle. – Mmm. – Mmm. Wow. This is really… really, really good. Send Scott Wolf and his son some of this as an apology gift. – He’ll be happy for years. – He’s got his head on straight. He probably doesn’t live in southern California any more. – No, he doesn’t. – He’s probably in a cabin in Montana. Mmm. Mmm! – That’s good, guys. – That’s so good. – The chicken especially. – Mm-hmm. And the Girl Scout-iness. Let’s just eat this for the rest of the time. – ( crickets chirping ) – ( owl hoots ) There’s two things that keep me up at night. One, the evil donkey only I can see every time I close my eyes, and two, the fact that Girl Scout cookies and fondue – have never been combined! – Until now? Get ready for some “Girls Just Wanna Have Fondue.” – ( laughter ) – Okay, we have asked to do this one ourselves – Uh-huh. – because… blow torches. Oh my goodness. Um… so… we’ve been scraping the middle of S’mores into this, uh… Well, first of all, this is a S’mores cookie which… uh, has been out for a while but I’ve never tasted one. They’re making a comeback, we’ve been told. And so what we’re doing– Link is scraping out – the inside of the S’mores. – Some really come out nice. – Whoops. – So you’re gonna wanna scrape out all the insides of your S’mores cookies and put them together and then you take the scraped, non-filled ones and put them to the side. – Then you take your blowtorch– – This isn’t sharp. I can use this. – Yeah, but it’s hot. – Oh. You got glove? You got glove, too, man. Here. Smell it. – Smell the glove? – Smell the glove. – Good. – Smells like leather. What was the point of that? It was a reference to a movie I’ve seen that you haven’t? – Seriously? – Smell the glove. – Link: Oh, yeah. There we go. – Don’t get too close! Don’t get too far, either. – Oh. – You burned it, man. You burned– how do you know that was my torch that burned it? I ca– saw it. You need to stir it. You stir. I’ve got a glove on. – I can’t stir. – I like my marshmallows a little– oh, look. – It’s really melted fast. – ( loud hissing ) Don’t release your gas while I’m stirring, man. Breathe deeply, Rhett. I don’t want that to catch fire. Watch out. Oh, yeah. Got nice and– just a little toasty. – Oh, a little smoky. – That’s good. You want that. We don’t have fire alarms in here, do we, guys? I’m just gonna get that. I’m gonna do one more. – One more blast? – We don’t both have to– All right. Ooh, that’s a good technique. – You done? – Yeah. And you know what? Just last week, I saw a wolf and her wolf pups behind an Applebee’s, – eating from a riblet basket. – Yup. And those wolf pups were not sharing. Yup. I know that about wolves. They need to learn to share. – Let’s try this. – Here. Speaking of sharing, thank you. They love a good riblet basket. – Yeah. – I think that’s what they were eating. I can’t believe somebody left a full riblet basket out back. I hope that– it wasn’t an Outback. Weren’t you listening? – Not too hot. – Outback should have riblet baskets. I think that’s what we just realized. – You’re welcome, Outback. – Armadillo ribs. They have armadillos in Australia? Don’t answer that. No, that’s in the southwestern United States, Link. Well, I was close. This is good! I mean, how can it not be good? We just reconstituted what they already made, in a more party-friendly manner. – And it’s very safe. – Mm-hmm. You know, so just give to kids– – as long as you give the kids gloves, – ( laughter ) – you can give them pretty much anything. – Right. So we want you guys to try out these hacks, and when you do, send us pics and video so we can check ’em out. Yes, and keep watching to have your mind blown when we mash-up the trailers for “The Last Jedi” – and “I, Tonya.” – Shout out to all the wolves. Link: You don’t have to be a Girl Scout to get one of our Mythical badges, but you can be. You can be anything. Get yours at Mythical.store.

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