More like “Yumbledore,” am I right? ( music playing ) Last week, the much buzzed-about trailer for “Fantastic Beasts 2: The Crimes of Grindelwald” dropped and everybody was talking about it except me, because I did not watch it. That’s right, Link doesn’t watch a lot of things. We’re actually not sure what he does with his free time. It is a mystery that has spanned decades. So today we’re going to make him play a game based on how much he has not watched this “Fantastic Beasts” trailer. It’s time for… Yeah! You like that? That’s an original tune. Original, original. – Love it. – Not parodying anything. Love it, love it! – ♪ Seen! ♪ – Okay, Link, I’m gonna show you this trailer. I’m gonna pause it at different places and ask you what’s happening next, give you multiple choices to see if you can get it right. Cool, man. Let’s start at the beginning. ( music playing ) And… pause it! That’s Universal Studios. I’ve been there. Something insane is about to happen next, so crazy that it has “Harry Potter” fans furiously taking to the internet! All within the first ten seconds. …because J.K. Rowling had confirmed this beast was extinct… …because J.K. Rowling said that wasn’t allowed… ( clears throat ) Hmm. Even though I have not seen the trailer, I think I would’ve heard about Flo. Uh-huh, yeah, that would’ve been a big plug. I’m gonna guess that the… the apparating of wizards into Hogwarts. Let’s see if he’s right. – ( gasps ) – Yes. – That’s right, Link. – It’s not allowed. Fans are up in arms over the fact that those wizards were shown apparating into Hogwarts because, in the books, no one is allowed to apparate into Hogwarts, which has accounted for many plot decisions. I would’ve also accepted C. – She’s in there somewhere. – Yeah. I don’t know about you, but I was always told, if you apparate too much, you’ll go blind. Let’s look at the next part! Man: I have some questions for you, Professor. This is a surprise. There’s a rumor that Newt Scamander is headed to Paris. I know he’s working under your orders. Pause it! Right there, the unidentified VO is about to identify this man in the fedora. ( clears throat ) Hmm. Tom Hardy or Jude Law, huh? Tom Hardy elevates everything. – I hope he’s in this. – Yeah. But he’s tied up in that “Venom” situation, so I’m gonna say Jude Law playing a young Dumbledore. I think I’ve heard about this. Take a look! – …Dumbledore. – Yes! Yes, Link, that is not Shaq. That is hot Jude Law! Dumbledore’s hot! Sound the alarm, Dumbledore is a thirst trap! More like “Yumbledore,” am I right? All right, let’s keep going. “Yumbledore.” Gracious. If you’d ever had the pleasure to teach him, you’d know Newt is not a great follower of orders. ( music playing ) The time is coming, Newt… …when you’re gonna have to pick a side. – Are you going somewhere? – No, we’re going somewhere. All right, pause it! Okay, as you just heard, Eddie Redmayne as Newt Scamander breathily says, “No, we’re going somewhere.” “We’re going somewhere.” – Emphasis on the “we’re.” – Yeah. This movie looks pretty good, man. Yeah, it’s getting ya! It’s getting ya, isn’t it? Do I have to see the first one before I see this one? – I’ll do my homework. – That would be helpful, be helpful. I think it’s, “Oh, not again!” ’cause I think he’s a reluctant companion, given the context clues alone. Mm. Let’s find out. – Genius. – Oh. – “Genius.” – “Genius.” Those are his last words, actually. He dies right after that. Spoiler alert! All right, let’s keep going. ( music playing ) Pause it! Whoo, a little ballerina action, – some ice dancing perhaps? – Really building here. Not necessarily a time to introduce new characters, but, in the next scene, we are introduced to an actress who is the daughter of someone who used to date Madonna. …whose tumultuous marriage to Madonna ended in 1989… …who dated Madonna briefly in 1990… …because your crazy great-uncle claimed he slept with Madonna in the ’80s? You remember that, you remember that. I do not remember that. So Zoe Kravitz or Dylan Penn. Mm-hmm. Those are your choices. Those are the real choices. I think this is Zoe Kravitz ’cause she’s really… she’s really blossoming – into a great actor. – She’s hot right now. Right. Is he right? – That’s her! – Yeah, that’s her right there! – Zoe Kravitz! – That is her, I was right! But aren’t we all the daughter of someone who dated Madonna? That’s true. And why does she have a dead crow tied to the back of her head? Zoe can do whatever she wants. All right, let’s watch some more. ( music playing ) Whoa. Hold on. What? Whoa, flying dragon carriage? ( gasps ) It has to be you. ( gasps ) ( whispers ) That was Johnny Depp. – I saw a little Johnny Depp. – Yep. Lot of people didn’t want him to be in this movie. That’s right, but it’s very expensive to remove him at this point. Okay, what happens next? Sexy Jude Law, Dumbledore, tells sexy Eddie Redmayne, “It has to be you.” And then what happens? …slam their sexy wands onto the ground and sexy red magic erupts into the Earth’s crust and explodes to the sexy heavens… …and then he jumps on the back of a giant, sexy Graphorn beast and pummels his way through a sexy wall to confront decidedly unsexy Johnny Depp as Grindelwald… – But still sexy? – Very sexy. You know, as you were reading all those options to me, it occurred to me that you should definitely do the audio book for the rip-off version of this. Already arranged. Sexy! Um… I’m gonna go with B ’cause I wanna see some more Johnny Depp in this. What happens? That’s sexy red magic, Link! ♪ I was wrong ♪ ( buzzer ) It was just the title. You gonna see it in RealD? – RealD? – Yeah. – I don’t believe in that. – I don’t believe in that. I got a lazy eye. It doesn’t work. All right, Link, not too bad, three out of five. – I think you still qualify. – I still won. You can still win. You can still watch it. – You can still watch the movie. – Oh, that’s all I won. Yeah, now you gotta show this trailer to somebody or you’re gonna die in seven days. Oh, snap. Keep watching because we’re gonna play a version of the “Newlywed Game” with our mouths wide open with Cameron Esposito and Rhea Butcher with a twist. Well, the twist was what I just said. Can’t wait for the “Fantastic Beasts” movie to come out? You can get a Mythical Beast t-shirt right now at mythical.store.