Ellie: Toys “R” Us going out of business? – Everything must go and so we must go. – Man: Must go. I’m gonna get everything! I got everything! ( music playing ) Good morning! I just woke up and today’s the day that I get to use the company card to buy anything that is advertised to me. Jordan did this once, but I’m gonna do it. We’re gonna see if my day is a little bit different, because I check my phone constantly! And I’m a girl. I don’t know if you’ve noticed. First one, Overstock. They know that I love rugs ’cause I think rugs can transform a room. And it’s a Glossier ad! She almost tied her hair up but then she let it go. She didn’t even have a hair tie. Stretch Concealer in Medium. Boy Brow in Blonde! I’ve always wanted Boy Brow. A bra ad. It’s just like a tan piece of Spandex. “True Body Lift hugs your curves and disappears under clothes.” I have not consented to that. Now we’re gonna scroll through Facebook. I’m gonna be repping Glossier hard as heck. It’s Tumblr time! I got an Amazon ad for the best-selling NutriBullet. So I’m getting Brita Replacement Filters, Egglettes Egg Cooker. “Hard boiled eggs without the shell.” That looks like trash and I want it. Okay. Normally on Saturday I get up, I walk my dog with my boyfriend. We try to get like a bagel and coffee. I’m gonna grab the mail first, though. Okay, the first thing is a traffic violation for a guy who does not live here anymore. Can we pay that? No, it’s illegal. European Wax Center is advertising to me in my mailbox. ( grunts ) Frankly, it’s time. I’m gonna be joined today by my boyfriend. – Hello! – I’m a very nice person. – You’re a good boy. – I know. This is where we’re gonna go first. – Looks like a wax museum. Oh. – No, no. “To reserve this park, please call.” Baby girl’s getting a park! And I’m stoked about it. That’s an advertisement for me to put an advertisement on a bench. You better believe I’m doing that. Furniture sale! A floor sample sale! I am gonna go get a bunch of stuff that they just have decorating their floor. I got a little octopus and a French horn, baby! And a big old peacock! And it’s $200. Oh, gonna drop it. ‘Cause you know I love octopi. They’re smarter than us. – That’s not true. – That’s true! Toys “R” Us going out of business? – Everything must go and so we must go. – Man: Must go. I’m gonna get everything! I got everything! We just got to the mall, so we’re gonna call and make sure we can get an appointment at the European waxer. Hi! Yeah, I was wondering if I could get an appointment today for a bikini line wax. Okay, thank you so much! Ross Dress For Less. “Save 20-60% off department store prices.” This is the new me and I’m about to smell like three Rihannas! Nude by Rihanna, Riri by Rihanna, and Kiss by Rihanna. – There’s another store closing. – Going to Movie World. Movie World is actually a bookstore, which makes total sense to me. So I got this obscure Harrison Ford and Paul Bettany movie poster. It’s a store called Warbie Yama. It beckons me. – Who’s this character? – They wouldn’t explain. Looks like a mix of an Angry Bird and a Minion. I also got, “Will you be a cat?” – What is that? – “Will you be a dog?” They clear your pores or what? It’s all in Japanese. I don’t know. ( music playing ) ( sighs ) All right, I’m ready to go in. – How’d it go? – I don’t wanna talk about it. Okay, 10% to 50% off. It’s a beauty store so I should be excited. I’m getting a little tired. His and Hers Loofas. All day all I’ve wanted was a coffee and a bagel. We finally walk up to a Noah’s Bagels and it is 3:30 PM. ( sighs ) Can you– Pat? Pat? – You okay? – No. Capitalism is a scam and a trick. I have blinders on because we’ve already had a really full day. We’re going home. I’m gonna take a nap. And I’m gonna see you guys when all my stuff comes in the mail. All righty, I’ve recovered. I’ve bought everything advertised to me, including this entire park! I bought it for an hour. I got these things called Egglettes. “Hard boiled eggs without the shell.” I’m gonna be eating a lot of eggs. Other than kitchen stuff, a big thing was all beauty products. Advertisement wants women to be either in the kitchen or getting pretty. I got two different face masks. Should I be a cat or a dog? I’ll be a cat. I’ma haunt your nightmares. Meow! I’m gonna put every beauty product on my face. Powder. No brush, but I do have this. I don’t wanna just put everything on top of each other ’cause then you can’t see the color. So I’m just gonna ring it around my mouth. Huh. I do feel like a Glossier model. Oh, my God! It smells like old food! I’m feeling saucy. True Body Lift. ( grunting ) There we go! This honestly feels really good. Now that you’re so cool playing at your own playground. All together, “I’ve got my own playground!” I did buy one thing that I wasn’t able to bring to the park but I think it’s time to go. Whee! ( music playing ) Rhett: Stick around to see us take on the arm wrestling challenge for Make-A-Wish. We know how much you love ordering from Amazon so we got an Amazon store. Get our exclusive tees and products available only at Amazon.com/Mythical.