Today we go all the way on the first meal of the day. Let’s talk about that. Good Mythical Morning. They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, and I think I believe that, but I also hold another belief, one that I think is diametrically opposed to that one in my mind as well. I believe that breakfast should be the least expensive meal of the day. I just can’t justify spending dinner sized money on breakfast or on second breakfast, for that matter. Am I wrong? You’re not wrong, but you’re a tightwad, so that has to be taken into account. Well, I mean, how do you feel about spending a lot of money on breakfast? Is there a limit? I live in Los Angeles. I mean, they’ll take some orange juice- Oh gosh. And put some champagne in it, and call it a mimosa and charge you $16 for it, so I’ve kinda lost all perspective. I’m overpaying for breakfast is what I’m saying. I’m not surprised. There are some unbelievably expensive breakfasts out there, more than we’ve experienced, I think, and they’ve got all kinds of wild ingredients, and today, we’re gonna try ’em and maybe it’ll loosen my wad. As long as you give me a warning. It is time for High Baller Meals for Low Dollar Steals: Breakfast Edition. So restaurants mark up their menu items for various reasons, maybe the dish is hard to make, maybe the ingredients are expensive, maybe they like making ridiculous, over the top menu items to keep their street cred. We don’t know. It’s different for different reasons. Now we wanted to see how much certain items at fancy restaurants actually cost to make. What is the ingredients’ cost? Yeah, so the Mythical Kitcheneers have recreated some actual high-dollar breakfasts that are out there using the exact same ingredients, and we’re gonna try ’em, including this first one that’s under this food helmet, and we’re gonna guess how much that we think it actually cost to make ’em, and whoever’s closer wins the round, and then, the overall loser has to kneel on grits in “Good Mythical More.” So I was told that’s an old school Catholic school punishment. All right, Stevie, tell us about this first item. You can reveal it. This stack of pancakes, created by Chef Matthew Downs of Opus One Bar and Restaurant in Manchester, UK, is made up of three different batters and layered with beetroot, chives, lobster, mussels, truffles, and toped with a cream cheese Beluga caviar swirl. It comes with Dom Pérignon Rose hollandaise sauce, and it is served with a side of caviar and gazpacho shots. This breakfast sells for 800 pounds, or $1,106.32. How much does it sell for? Dang! 800 pounds or $1,106.32. Now you mentioned- What are these shots again, Nicole? Gazpacho. You just drink it? Yeah. Take it like a shot. What? Oh, that’s good. What’s gazpacho? That’s good. What is this one? Tomato juice? Gazpacho, same exact thing. They’re just different colors of tomatoes. Oh, that’s a tomato? Well, yes, of course. I think you said there was some lobster, you said there was some caviar. There’s the Dom Pérignon. Ugh. And the thing is, it doesn’t even taste good. Sorry. Now clarifying technical questions, Stevie, please tell me- It doesn’t taste bad. I may or may not have the answer to this. So this is some fish eggs right here, they’re expensive, now that might not be all the fish eggs that were bought for this meal. That might be the ones that made it to the plate. Are we pricing the portions that go into the dish? They had to buy a bottle of Dom Pérignon in order to make this, but is it like, well, we only used an 1/8 of the bottle, so it’s an 1/8 of the bottle in the price? Yeah. It’s only what we used. Ugh. So down from over $1000. Okay. You know what? It didn’t taste that bad. I mean, a pancake that, it definitely tasted like lobster, it’s growing on me. I like it, especially the gazpacho. Gazpacho. $189.24, I think it’s a steal. I said $298.35. Our Mythical Kitcheneers spent $692.40 to create this pancake, which is $413.92 less than the original version, and, and, in order to afford all of these ingredients, the Mythical and Smosh crews have generously agreed to go without toilet paper for the rest of 2021. Okay, all right. Okay. I feel better now. But toilet paper ain’t that pricey. I mean, maybe next three years. Okay? I mean, my wad is already getting tighter. This ostrich egg-full English breakfast is sold at Florentine Restaurant and Bar in London. It’s served with portabello mushrooms, Cumberland sausage, roasted tomatoes, bacon, a toasted baguette, and a side of beans. And it costs 75 pounds or $103.72. Wow, and we got that here? Oh, look! Wowzer! A big old ostrich egg? I mean, when I looked at the picture, I didn’t realize it was that big. That for $100 is actually- Oh my goodness. It’s like a piece of pie. It’s actually not that bad. And I know you’re not a runny egg man, but it’s actually less runny than it looks. Oh, let me taste. Let me get a little bit of sausage over here. Really big breakfast. How much is an ostrich egg is really what we’re dealing with here? I’m gonna keep eating here. How often does an ostrich lay an egg? I mean, I think $103 is not exorbitant. You pointed a couple of different places on a menu in Los Angeles, and you’re brunching at $103. I mean, it can happen. Okay. You ready? Yeah. I went with $68.76. I went a little lower, $47.47, 47, 47, 47. You’re a little closer on this one. We spent $79.90. Ugh. Come on, guys. Which is a difference- You gotta be more aggressive. Of $23.82, but do not worry, because in order to afford all these ingredients, we did have to change Chase’s title back to intern. Oh, okay. Do you think muffins are just unfrosted cupcakes? Well, if you wanna hear what Josh and Nicole think about that, you can listen to their podcast, “A Hot Dog is a Sandwich” available at any of the podcast places, and you should also check out their channel on YouTube, “Mythical Kitchen,” you know, watch good friends make good food. It airs weekly, Tuesdays and Thursdays. Check it out. All right, guys? That’s right. You recommend? Yeah. What do we got this round, Stevie? This lobster bucatini brunch comes from Leuca Restaurant at the William Vale Hotel in Brooklyn. 2 Chainz sampled the lobster brunch back in 2019 on his VICE show, “Most Expensivest.” It’s made with 70-year old lobster and topped with golden ossetra caviar, and Australian truffle shavings, and it costs $2,000. 70-year old lobster? Okay- 2 Chainz! Where’d you say this is from? It’s from the William Vale Hotel in Brooklyn. Okay, you know what? You know how when a certain city in Japan is said on this show, I have a certain response, right? Of course. It’s kinda my thing. Yeah. Well, I saw a comment recently where they said, well, you know, Link’s saying Brooklyn back in the day, that was kinda his thing. How ’bout every time somebody says Brooklyn, Link does his Brooklyn thing? So I mean, if you’re willing to go there, I mean, I really oughta give the opportunity to do that. Brooklyn! So Stevie, where is it from again? It’s from Brooklyn. I mean, we could just have it, twinkle fingers play it back. No, it’s better when you say it, man. Okay, but if he’s available, maybe it could echo it? I don’t know. Brooklyn! ♪ Brooklyn ♪ Oh, it’s low. That was lower, yeah. Brooklyn! That better? Where’s it from, Stevie? It’s from Brooklyn. Brooklyn! ♪ Brooklyn ♪ Yeah! I got it now. All right. It’s a lot shorter than the thing that I do, which is good. $2,000? 2,000 year old lobster, you say? I mean, was the lobster alive for 70 years, or was it aged after dead for 70 years? No, it was an old man. His name was Charles. So- I don’t know, I’m not even gonna ask how you got a 70-year old lobster and how they even know. What do they measure? I mean, you gotta get some of the truffles on there. I got a truffle, and I got some, I got a noodle, too. I mean- Very lemony. Do you think old lobster’s better than young lobster? I think a big part of the price- Y’all better brought this way down. Is that 70-year old lobster. I mean- Oh, shoot, y’all spent $600+ on the first round. It is good, I must say. $421.08. Okay, I am almost double you, but we’re both on the same page in that this is a big markup, so I said $801.23. Yeah, I’m thinking y’all brought it, come on, come on. The Mythical Culinary Team spent $374 on this. All right, finally. Finally, see? Which is a difference of $1,626, and in order to afford all these ingredients, we did sell Davin’s desk, and we replaced it with no desk. Great. Totally fine with that. Okay. Stevie, hey. What’s happening? Hey, guys. You there? We’re here. Hey, we’re here, Stevie. Ha, peek-a-boo! Okay. Cool, this round, obviously, has two things. So first up- Kinda big things. Feast your eyes on the Bloody Beast, a Bloody Mary sold at Sobelman’s Pub and Grill in Wisconsin. This Bloody Mary comes with typical fixings like pickles, olives, and celery, but also has brussel sprouts, bacon-wrapped jalapeno cheese balls and an entire fried chicken. It cost $60 and 10% of each sale goes to the Hunger Task Force, a local food bank. Rhett, it’s on your side. Please be very careful. I’ve never seen a complete fried chicken like that. Y’all did it. That is crazy. You freaking fried a whole chicken and put it on top of the thing. I mean, people fry a turkey, but I don’t think I’ve ever, ever seen that. What’s this bacon-wrapped ball? Bacon-wrapped cheese ball. Oh my gosh. It’s good. Wisconsin, y’all, they go big. Oh man. I got a straw here. There’s like a shrimp thing. Is it good? That just tastes like tomato juice, y’all. Where’s the alkie? We can’t have the alcohol. That’s a YouTube thing. We gotta be good YouTube boys. So that’s $60. What about this? What’s happening? If you find yourself needing a strong cup of coffee after your Bloody Beast, in order to avoid a nine-hour nap, there’s a Starbucks super close to the pub, as you can see on this map photo. Okay, okay, yeah. Where you can order a Super Venti Flat White like this one, which was ordered by William Lewis in 2017. Good gosh. The flat white was made with coconut milk and 170 shots of espresso. No. And it sold for $148.99. So the combined total for these two drinks was $208.99 and Link, if you lift up that thing in front of you, you will find- Oh wow. I mean, I was kinda hoping that that bald man was just really small. Yeah. But this- It was still in there. I’m gonna take my- I mean, this is like stirring a witch’s brew. This is a freaking caldron. And actual Starbucks did this? I didn’t think they were that desperate. I thought they were too big for their britches, you know what I’m saying? This is just- I got a little residual Bloody Mary in my- Gratuitous. In my Super Venti Flat White. I mean, there’s nothing special. We’re just tasting a big Flat White. It’s so flat. Yeah. Lots of coffee there. This is impressive, though. Okay, total was what again? Ah, shoot. $208.99 for both. Okay. All right. I’m saying $61.98. Okay, well, I’m saying $79, up from $49. Okay. This round’s a little bit different, because the Mythical Kitcheneers spent $102 to recreate just the Bloody Mary, and $440 on our version of the Starbucks Super Venti Flat White, so they spent an overage of $333.01. Hold up, how? On the two drinks. I don’t know. Nicole might have to explain that one, but I do know- Explain yourself. Did you hurt yourself and have to get a hospital bill in the middle of this thing? No, but that is very on-brand for me. But Starbucks is expensive. Shots are like 2 bucks. A lot of shots in there. Oh, got it. So you went straight to the source. Yes. I wanted to make it as authentic as possible for you guys. Ah. But the good news is that here in the studio, we will be replacing all of our K-Cups with the knockoff brand version, which is the J-K-Cups. Is there’s nothing in ’em? Okay, so that means the total cost of the restaurant breakfast items was $3,419.03, and the Mythical Kitchen spent $1,688.30 to make all the breakfasts in this episode. Okay. So that’s a grand savings of $1,730.73. Not really a savings, but that makes me feel a little better. And here’s what we’re gonna do. I know we bring in these nice big things, we take a couple of bites out of them, we’re conscious of the food waste. You know what we’re gonna do? We’re gonna take that money that we just saved, which is how much money? $1,730.73. And we’re going to donate that amount to the Los Angeles Regional Food Bank. Yep, and that’s, also, you won? Yeah, I did. So I have to kneel on grits. You gotta kneel on some grits. On “Good Mythical More.” Looking forward to that. You know what time it is. Okay. My name is Jarvis. I just did a blindfolded cereal taste test for my 28th birthday. I got the queen sweep, and it’s time to spin the Wheel of Mythicality. Jarvis is living his best life. At 28, having a blind taste test, getting his own queen sweep! I love it. Click the top link to watch us try some much cheaper freeze dried breakfasts in “Good Mythical More.” And to find out where the Wheel of Mythicality’s gonna land. We launched a whole new channel to deliver you more Mythicality in bite-sized portions. Check out our original sketches and subscribe to “Mythical Bits” today.