it’s getting colder here in California which according to my wife and kids makes me the bad guy let’s talk about that I’m Emily Robinson from serving Celestia good mythical morning good mythical morning this episode is brought to you by Cotulla is the guys with the goods ketosis calm is where you can get the official bring it off the Charlie Brown Christmas tree look at this thing like so many memories if you’ve never watched the peanuts Christmas special then boy then you don’t know what this is yeah and if you have then this means a lot this is a very cool thing that you can set up in your room your kid’s room that’s doing the shot gift it to someone Catullus calm become festive I we only have six weeks before I go back to North Carolina for the holiday so I’ve already gotten in spirit we decorated our Christmas tree you know if if you’re into that then get into it yeah I am diving in baby this past weekend I decided to go biking with my son Locke yeah and we realized that we were pretty close to your house so we show up to your house and like it’s the middle of the day on Saturday in his licking the house and it’s all dark and I’m going there and your whole family’s like watching The Wizard of Oz they’re all kind of a sleek kind of half watching The Wizard of Oz I’m like where’s link and Chris he’s like he’s taking a nap what didn’t you notice the Christmas tree in the corner of the room yeah that you the Christmas tree is up and you’re taking a nap it’s it’s exhausting everything is backwards at your house so build a Christmas tree is exhausting I had it I was like oh I got to take a nap it but it was worth it that it’s lit I just think that’s excessive before Thanksgiving well I I am trying to turn the tide in my favor in my household to become the hero again it’s really what I’m trying to do hey let’s put up the Christmas tree let’s get in the holiday spirit because I lately I’m gonna set this up in my house I have not been very we’re done kids what I’m trying to say is I have my my approval rating in the household is gone way down low 50 nothing yet now that it has gotten colder now it’s California okay it doesn’t really get cold here so when I say it’s gotten cold at night I think it has gotten down to like the mid 30 mr. T’s over the wall over the past few nights and the issue of the thermostat and turning on the heat immediately comes up and did it the pub that pot starts to boil amongst my family so to speak kids start scum kids starts coming up to me usually just my kids kids kids coming in the windows random kids start coming in to warm a 9 to 5 heat there’s no heat in my house because I said we’re not turning the heat on my kids my wife they come to me and they say it’s cold it’s cold they’re shivering you know I look at the thermostat which tells you the temperature and it tells you if the Heat’s on or off and I have the switch to off and it and the temperature it says 58 degrees I wake up in the morning it’s 58 degrees it’s not 33 degrees in my house I’m like well we’re not turning the heat on you know we can save some money we blasted the a/c through the summer and busted all this dough busted the dough that means that that’s a euphemism for spending lots of money you blow dough blew a bunch of dome I blew a bunch of dough so now that the heat is is is the issue I’m saying it’s not coming on I tell the kids you know there’s people in the Northeast in the wake of Sandy who haven’t even gotten their heat back if they’re really freezing up there and second Oh hold there think about them think about your Poppa who when my granddad’s that’s he call him pop-pop yeah when I tell them when he was your age he slept on a straw bed literally he slept on a bed made of straw and he was in indan was a horse in the room at the time it was there there was not an ox and it wasn’t that he loves some sheep in the corner there was no baby Jesus and I made because I said because not that all those keep you want eight animals do you can cuddle up next to her she’s in a strata tell him there’s a straw bed all his siblings slept in the same bed they had to keep each other warm they didn’t have a thermostat where you could just go up and make yourself comfortable so I’m just buck up kids so you haven’t turned your wife you know so so no we haven’t turned the heat on and it’s like I’m the bad guy but you know I’m saving us money and I’m teaching us a lesson I think and we’re like bundling up I get into bed I’ve got on like a long sleeves hoodie that I’ve got I put like extra covers on everybody’s bed I’m like if you get cold just get in bed with each other I mean I have three kids for a reason so they can warm each other when the winter hits huh that’s the only reason I have multiple kids I was an only child and I was cold as a child I thought about wearing a ski mask in my own bed as a child or than now no now in the middle of the night I wake up like the only thing cold on me is my face I should wear a ski mask okay well because and then if intruders come in then I hope somebody beat me to the punch and they’re already sleeping in the bed they’re in the bed well I have a distinctly different philosophy from you I I anticipated that you uh as a matter of fact my approval ratings gone down with you two uh this past weekend as if we had a cold snap here in California by cold snap I mean like Linc said it might have gotten into the mid-30s one night um we all realized together my wife and kids and I were like it was morning we were like it’s cold in here yeah let’s cut the heat on I mean it was there it was there was no discussion so it was like let’s cut the heat on and then I got to the thermostat and I was like you know some I’m gonna do something that I’ve never done before and I don’t know why I’ve never done before done this before I was like I’m not just gonna make it warm right now I’m gonna do the whole scheduling feature you’re cooking thermostat has that oh yeah I’m gonna set the optimal temperature in my house for every hour throughout the week really and I’m sitting there in like okay I want it to be this warm when we wake up and I’m like Jessie you think you should start getting warm around 6:30 or 6:45 a.m. you know and she’s like 6:30 that way it’ll be a warm when we wake up you know it’ll have time to warm up and I’m like yeah do that biti biti poopit I wish it doesn’t make those noise you talk to each other as if you’re liking like a lame sitcom yeah hey Jessie what I’m I’m having so much fun and then I’m like hey what temperature do you think you should what do you think I should go off and she said I don’t know like 10 a.m. you know and then I’m like when do you think you should get warm again like that 5:30 p.m. and then how long’s you to stay warm okay maybe go to bed about 11:00 11:30 so 12 let’s link it go down when we’re sleep and then we’re all bundled up in the bed and as I’m doing this I have one of these moments that this happens to me fairly often you black out when I realize I am living in the future you know what I’m saying it’s like sometimes I feel as if I have been transported from the past and Here I am you know two seconds ago I was a pioneer on the frontier and I was collecting animal dung from the plains to burn to keep my family warm you know I’m saying what you never did that I might have what you talked about like in a reincarnated previous no I’m just saying that what if I am actually a pioneer on the plains and I’m sitting there and I’m like Garden to find more Buffalo dung to burn to keep my Buffalo dung house warm and I’m thinking about it I’m like man I wish I was in the future you know when this where they’re gonna have all this figured out then they’re Here I am I’m a thermostat you’re like the in the Jetsons all of a sudden yeah because that helps me to appreciate what is going on here I am deciding on the optimal temperature for me and my family but I think there’s a negative aspect of this too because it makes me a sissy it makes me and my family collectively a sissy family because when it hits the fan in a couple years and the zombies are loose no electricity you know we don’t have any electricity we don’t have any heat I’m gonna be going after the thermostat alone it’s not gonna be making any noise yeah if we’re what is the people bulbs there’s no beeping tube open in the boppin you know me what happened to that right kids don’t let don’t know no don’t crap in the toilet crap into a bucket we’re gonna let it dry and then we’re gonna burn it for heat see that’s exactly what I’m trying to tell my kids is that I had I now have the edge when it comes to the apocalypse it you know or even in the even in the short term I think we’ve got an opportunity to to charge it mission with our own families to the other house your kids can come to my house and it’s like that we’re living on the frontier we should actually be I’m thinking about burning dung you know like I said a turn on thermoset and then my kids and wife can come to your house and it’d be like hey kids let’s go to the McLaughlin’s it’s like they’re in the future yeah yeah it’s always warm over there yeah it’s it’s like Jetsons it’s like what’s it called when you send students across the ocean exchange program yeah exchange program will do what thermostat exchange program I am you know what I’m babysitting your kids tonight as you and Kristen go on a date you know about this yeah I’m gonna teach you what it’s like to be just cozy oh gosh this isn’t me no kids you don’t have to gonna hate me even more I really kids know you don’t have to huddle up together know you can just spread out you know you’ll have to put a coat on your inside kiss check this out what’s warm and then I got read to be my dad and they’re gonna go home they’re gonna walk in and it’s gonna be like they didn’t even go inside it’s gonna be just like they just it’s the same temperature as it is outside because of the regulation what I don’t understand is that it was the weather reports this 60 degrees oh this is great but in my house it’s no this is unacceptable this is frigid that what we could die here no you can’t die well but see here’s the thing I agree that being you know you humans should be able to withstand a large temperature range but modern man wants to have this like little window that he’s comfortable and I because it is possible because I live in a place where I have the option of making it happen I can be comfortable or I can be a little bit cold in my house I’m just gonna choose comfortable I can’t resist it because you’re a man and you want you want to make your domain submit to you we’ve established that so I I can believe that I want to make my kids submit to me I want them to wear more clothes I mean why have clothes if you’re not gonna put them all home oh winter tell Shepherd got it this morning he was just in briefs he just like came out he’s like ready to eat breakfast he’s just in briefs and as I aren’t you called he’s like no his body was probably blue well not in your in my house he’d be like that a frozen caveman coming out of the RET glacier the Rhett is the new GMM intern hey rut ya come in this must be the new GM mm turn em Jim turn come on in you’re the new intern right yeah all right first things first uh I need you to program our thermostat because where is it it’s it’s right here it’s right here in front of you you just pretend like it’s right here in the role play and start beep boop boop in that role playing as the intern yeah or my role playing on the show like God to enter is the intern role playing is his first assignment or my role playing as the intern as if there really is something here at for the intern both we want me to do man people you do that pee poo poo poo poo poo poo okay it’s not working just just get me a cup of coffee you like what kind would you like any special flavors [Laughter] [Music]