Which Milka bar will have us saying, “Das ist gut.” – Let’s talk about that. (bright music) Good mythical morning. – As an American, sometimes I feel like the whole world is laughing at me for my idea of what chocolate is. You’re laughing, right? You’re laughing at me. Stop! Stop it! – Thank you for stopping. But you’re not wrong, because it’s no secret that Europeans are positive about their chocolate. And from what we understand, with reason. So today we’re taking our tongues to study abroad to see what all the fuss is about by trying a beloved Swiss chocolate brand headquartered in Germany. – What? And owned by an American company? – Yeah, it’s confusing. But it’s time for Gut Check, Milka edition. – The mythical crew have scoured the internet to source every Milka bar we could get our little American hands on. And that means 31 traditional Milka bars. They’re still made in Germany. – Well, are they? – Yeah. – Really? How do you know? – Wiki- – Oh, Wiki- – Pedia. – Okay. You know this works. We’re gonna try every one of these suckers, and we’re gonna give it a score of 1 to 100 based on our initial gut reactions. And then, in the end, the winter will be crowned der beste. – Don’t mind if I do. And to help me out with my scoring, I’m gonna play a little game of Milkyland. – [Rhett] This feels like it’s gonna take some time. – Where my cow, my cow is gonna make his way all the way from zero to 100. – [Rhett] Yep. – Every single taste. – I’m not sensing German efficiency in this scoring chart. – This is cool, though. – [Rhett] All right, pretty cool. – Thank you. Thank you. Not helpful at all. – Very American. – [Stevie] Gentlemen. – Hey. – What up, gentle lady? – [Stevie] If at any point your Milka mouths need a refresh, we have some cold water on standby in our mythical sip and slide sippers. We’re beginning- – We have something for every part of your life. – [Stevie] With the classic Milka flavors, starting with Alpine Milk Chocolate. – Okay. Straight up. – Now, take a bite, ’cause there’s a lot of these. – We’ll have a lot of chocolate. I’m a dark chocolate man. I prefer it dark. – This is the, this is so good, man. I’m gonna give it a 70. – I’m having to figure out my scale because I’m not considering it versus dark chocolate. I’m considering it in the world of milk chocolate. That’s very good milk chocolate. 78. – Oh. – [Stevie] Cow Spots. – Cow spots? Okay. – Got a little white chocolate mixed in there – Does a little bit more white make it all right? I don’t think it got, I don’t think it made it better, to be honest, man. I think it made it worse. – Little bit more white made it all right. – I think a little bit more white made it a little bit worse. – It’s just not as good. It’s 60. I think I’m going all the way to 49 on that one. – [Stevie] Caramel. – Oh. – Mm, it’s on the inside. – That’s a nice little bite, yeah. It’s a really good caramel flavor. – Really. 79. – Mm-hm. 71. – [Stevie] Darkmilk. – Dark milk. – Now, Rhett. – Did you say dark milk? – [Link] Is this dark chocolate, or is it just a darker milk chocolate? – [Stevie] It’s just Darkmilk, a singular word. Darkmilk. – That’s scary. (production laughing) 40. I didn’t like it. – It’s still milk. But there’s not, it’s just like, they didn’t make a decision. Did they go dark or is it milk? No, it’s Darkmilk. – Darkmilk. Hurry, man. – 54. – You gotta go with your gut. You can’t go with your brain. You’re thinking too hard. – My gut and my brain are connected by my vagus nerve. What? – Link chocolate, I think is what she said. – [Stevie] White Chocolate. – Oh, we know how we feel about this. – White chocolate is not chocolate at all. I like it better than the mix. – [Rhett] 40. – 58. – [Stevie] Extra Cocoa. – Okay. All right. You didn’t have to, but you did. Okay! That’s got a little extra cocoa. – It’s almost infringing on Hershey’s territory. – Oh, come on. – I would’ve thought this is like a better Hershey’s. – I think it’s better than Milka. I think this is an 84. That’s the best one I’ve had so far. – I’m gonna give it a 68. – [Stevie] Chocolate Mousse. – What? Okay. – It was soft. Oh, there’s mousse in there. – Mousse in there. – See, my thing is. I thought that the normal Milka chocolate was gonna be down the center. But that’s my favorite one so far. I’ve gotta go- – I like that one. – In a 64. – I’m gonna give that one a solid 80. I think it’s a little bit better than the normal one. – [Stevie] Triple Caramel. – What? – Oh, no. We didn’t know this was gonna happen. – Wait, it’s tall. – I feel like I’m getting to that place where it’s hard to figure out what’s happening in my mouth. – I don’t feel like there’s three times the caramel. – I don’t think it’s as good as the regular caramel. – [Link] 51. – I’m gonna give it a solid 60. – [Stevie] Triple Chocolate. – Well, how do you do that? – How do you do that? I’m searching for the first chocolate, and I found it. – I found two chocolates in that. And I didn’t like the second one. – I just have to kick it to the curb because it’s a disappointment. 30. 30. – And you’re done? – [Link] Yep. 30. – Look, I didn’t like it either. 41. – [Stevie] And that concludes our classic category. – Woo! – [Stevie] Our next category brings in some mildly controversial chocolate element. That’s right, I’m talking about nuts and fruit. – Okay. – [Stevie] Starting with- – I don’t know about this. – [Stevie] Whole Hazelnuts. – Nuts and a whole hazelnut? – Yeah. There’s a whole one right there. – Now a hazelnut is kind of small, so I’m not, I was kind of afraid of a whole one. – I wasn’t afraid, I just don’t really like hazelnuts that much. – It seems very Swiss. – If you like hazelnut, you’ll love this. So don’t take that into account, or take that into account when I say 25. – 39. – [Stevie] Broken Hazelnut. – Oh, this is for people who are scared of whole hazelnuts. – Okay. We broke these up. They’re dead. – This is less interesting, but it tastes exactly the same. 28. – 25. – [Stevie] Raisins And Nuts. – Okay, this is gonna be… – Hmm? – Where’s the raisin? – I got three raisins. You might need another bite. – Oh, it’s in the aftertaste. Ugh. 18. – Uh, 55. – [Stevie] Almond Crispy Creme. – Okay. – Crispy creme. Like a donut? – Oh, there’s a little crunch in the middle. – It’s as if the creme is crispy. – I like that little sneaky crunch. – [Link] The crunch is fun. – [Rhett] 72. – Seems like a gimmick. – What a, hey, hey, hey, hey. – 50. I just can’t decide. – [Stevie] Noisette. – Say that again? – Translation. – [Stevie] Noisette, which is hazelnut cream. – That gets very Nutella-y. It’s better than the actual hazelnuts. The cream is better than the hazelnut. – Yes, you’re exactly right. Woo! – It might be a 67 for me. – Ooh! That might, I mean, yeah, I think that’s like a 67 for me. (Rhett laughing) Wow. – Nutella, man. – [Stevie] Peanut Crispy Caramel. – Nyet crispy? What’d you say? – Feed me. – [Stevie] Peanut Crispy Caramel. – Please. – [Rhett] Oh! – What’s in that, toffee? – That is so good. – All right. Gimme another bite. Why did you think it was so good? – Because it’s got something in it that I like. It does taste like toffee, which I know you don’t like. – I gave it two tries, man. – All right. What are you gonna give it? – 15. – 100. Just because. – That’s not your gut talking. That’s your gut talking to your brain about me. (production laughing) – [Stevie] Strawberry. – Oh, strawberry. Wow, the scent. It smelled like, you know, if you smell a Strawberry Shortcake doll. – I smell ’em all the time. It’s really hard for strawberry flavor to not taste fake-y. – I kinda like it. But it is fake-y. – 43. – 53. – [Stevie] Raspberry Creme. – This is an expected chocolate compliment. Ooh! – It’s better than strawberry. – Mm-hm! Hold on. Did it just get bad at the end? (production laughing) 60. – I feel really left out. I’m doing that inside my brain. 64. – [Stevie] Cherry. – Try the next one. – I don’t wanna, I don’t want you to not have it. I mean, I just, okay. – [Stevie] Cherry Creme. – Oh, cherry creme. – Well, it’s not my face on it though. That’s confusing. I have to think about what I’m feeling, and think about how that relates to what you’re feeling. – [Link] Be you, man. – [Rhett] That’s tough. – Can I have it back? – Yeah. – Five. – I’m gonna give it a 48. – [Stevie] Darkmilk Raspberry. – Okay! – I’m getting full. 19. I’m just not loving the non milky Milka. I mean- – I like the way that that mixes. 65. – [Stevie] Collage Fruit. – Collage fruit? – [Stevie] Yeah. – Whoa. What happened to it? – [Rhett] They went jogging with it. – Look at the back of it. – Not great. 31. – Like, I can’t decipher anything. I’m gonna go lower than that. 14. – [Stevie] And that concludes our nuts and fruit category. – Whoa. We made it y’all. Through nuts and fruit. – [Stevie] Up last are the Milka flavors too wild and wacky to fit into their own category. That’s right, it’s the miscellaneous. – I knew we’d get here. – [Stevie] Starting with Colorful Cocoa Dragees. – Oh, dragees? – [Stevie] Dragees. – I think that’s Swiss for drawers. Got some chocolate in your drawers. – I don’t even know what I’m supposed to think about this. – It tastes like chocolate with a crunchy in it. – But not enough to write home about. – When’s the last time you wrote home? 10. – I write my parents a letter every week. – Okay. – 38. – I’ve been intercepting them for years. – [Stevie] Bubbly Alpine Milk. – Bubbly? – [Stevie] Bubbly. – Oh, look at how bubbly it is! – I am! It’s like chocolate boobies. – I think this is for the kids. It was just like the regular chocolate, but it felt like you just put it into a different mold. – Yeah, you’re right. 70. – And so I’m reacting negatively to that. – I’m gonna give it a 70. – I’m gonna give it a 61. – [Stevie] Yogurt. – Well, I didn’t know this was a thing. – Yogurt? Now, does this like contribute to your gut biom? – Well, that’s a pleasant surprise. – What’s that tangy yogurt-ness? That’s fun. It’s different. – All the way to 81 on that one. – Yeah. I’m at 75. – [Stevie] Um, I’m gonna go with Milkinis for this. – Milkinis? – [Stevie] It could also be Milkinis. (laughing) – Milkinis. – [Stevie] I think Milkinis. – Oh, they’re milking us for everything we got. – Milkini. Give me my Milkini. Oh, it’s little. – I don’t even know what I just ate. – That’s just stupid. It’s unnecessary. They need to do what they do best, and it’s a normal size bar. 27. – I don’t even know what they did. So I’m just gonna say 50 ’cause I don’t know what they did. – It’s just a little bar. It’s a teeny weenie Milka bar. – Oh, okay. 50 still. – [Stevie] Alpine Milk Creme. – Oh, that’s when you get the milk from the alpine. Milka’s some good stuff,man. – Now, I’m enjoying this. – What is alpine cream? Is that when like you milk a goat on like the side of a ski slope? – It’s not a goat, it’s cow. It’s a high altitude cow. – Oh, that’s why it’s purple. ‘Cause it’s cold. – It’s a cow suffering from low oxygen. – It’s a choked cow. You ever choked a purple cow? – Now you’re getting towards euphemism territory. – Choked a purple cow. Come on, do it. Choke the purple cow. – 80. That’s, I really like that one. – 64. – [Stevie] Creme & Biscuit. – Okay. If you just said that to me, I’d go through that door. You know? – Right. – Anytime you said those two things. – Now, we’re talking about a European biscuit, which is a cookie. – That was pretty good. Pretty interesting. – Can you go to the Milka headquarters and get a Milkini Wax? (production laughing) – 72. – 60. What’s halfway between 60 and 65. 62 and a half. – Yep. – 63, we’ll just round up. – We’ll round up. – [Stevie] Oreo. – Oh. – Okay. Been here before. But look at it. Show that to the. And then look at the back. – [Rhett] It goes all the way through. – It goes all the way through and it’s a little, what? Can they do this? – I don’t know. They did. – [Stevie] These last handful are all collabs. – It’s pretty low on the, on the chocolate though. It’s a lot of Oreo. I’m still giving it a 74. – Oh, see I was gonna give it a 75, and I’m gonna give it a 75. ‘Cause you’re not swaying me. – [Stevie] Chips Ahoy. – Oh, chips. And they did that, but they see they didn’t do the same thing with this. – Which I actually prefer, because it’s still a chocolate bar. – 19. – I don’t dislike it. It’s just not great. 60. – [Stevie] Lu. – Lube? Yes. (production laughing) Now, so that’s a type of cookie. And it goes all the way through too, if you were to show them the other side, and then I’m gonna bite it. I just like the fact that they did that. – And that cookie, can I see the inside of that cookie? – I know like how? – There’s chocolate inside that cookie, that connects. – I really need to see the manufacturing process for this. ‘Cause I love the look of it, but the taste of it is not that great. – It doesn’t taste as good as an Oreo. – That’s cuz I don’t like the cookie that’s in there. I’ll give it a 31. – But I’m gonna give some creativity points, 63. – [Stevie] Daim. – Oh no, we gotta eat money? Daime. They got a Daim in this thing, huh? What does that mean? Daim? It’s crunchy. – There’s some hazelnuts in there. Crunched up. I’m not excited about this one. – 43. – Or something. It might be toffee. – 43. – Yeah. 19. – [Stevie] Tuc. – Oh. Good. See now they’ve, that’s got a whole thing in it. It tastes like a cracker. It’s a buttery cracker and chocolate. – It is pretty nice. – It’s completely original. 62. – I was gonna say 63. – [Stevie] Well, you’ve done it. You’ve now tasted- – That’s it? – [Stevie] All of the available traditional Milka bars. Your scores will now be tabulated, so you may more closely judge the top four Milka bars. – Great. – Before we reveal our top four, I wanna remind you today’s Black Friday. And through Cyber Monday, we’ve got some discounts over at the Mythical store. 20% off sitewide. – Woo! – And also 40% off site. And we also got some new product. – Good Mythical Morning ornaments. This is the GMM Cockatrice. Belvedere himself. This thing is solid. This is one of those. And they’re, look at that, the GMM logo. These are both like very solid. – Yeah. Somebody breaks in. You can really, you could hit ’em. Grandma gets out outta control, just swing this thing around. Don’t do that. – Just pick a taught strong branch for these. Very special. Think of us every time you celebrate Christmas trees if you choose to celebrate Christmas trees. – Also, we got some discounts on the Mythical Society for this little period of time, Friday through Monday. 20% off first and second degree memberships, 30% off third degree monthly. – What? – So go to there, Mythical.com and MythicalSociety.com and just treat yourself. – [Stevie] Okay guys, according to you, the top four Milka products are Yogurt, Caramel, Oreo- – Yep! – [Stevie] Chocolate Mousse, Alpine Milk Chocolate. Yes, there’s a fifth. Because two of them tied. I’m not gonna tell you what order they tied for, but you have to go through five. – That’s never happened. We had a tie. – [Stevie] And then of course the lowest ranked, not of course, I’m sorry. The lowest ranked flavor was Collage. – Which wasn’t bad. It just wasn’t- – [Rhett] It was confusing for our mouth. – It was indecipherable. But Milka, pretty strong across the board. That’s what I’ve learned. – And you know what? They’ve got great branding. I just, I love purple. If you didn’t know that, I’m a big fan of purple. And it’s just so appetizing in this form, you know? – Do you want to try the original again? Break off a little piece of that. – Yeah, I do. – You’re not gonna go wrong. You’re not gonna go wrong with the original. So this is really nice. I really love the Oreo, just because it’s so fun how it comes out of the package, if it actually ever would. Of course, you’ve totally obliterated this one, right? – No, that was handed to me in that fashion. Somebody really had a rough time with it. – But the fact that the Oreos go all the way through is just the sheer technology involved in chocolateering these days. – It is impressive. I gotta admit that. – I really like it. – Again, I still have philosophical issues with it. I’m just gonna say it. It’s not as much of a bar. – It tastes so good, dude. What is this, yogurt? – I’m very fond of that. – It’s a surprise. It’s a subversion of expectation. – Caramel has another layer in there that’s white. – It’s really good. And I typically don’t like caramel stuff. And then finally we’ve gotta go back into this zone. Break it. The mousse. – [Rhett] These are all really good. – I think that the mousse is not as good as the original. – I think I can agree with that. – So we’re getting rid of the mousse. – It’s not that I don’t think it’s as good as the original, as much as, which I do agree with. I don’t think it’s as good as either one of these fillers right here. The caramel or the yogurt. – So you want to kick Oreo to the curb. – I’m not saying that. I’m not saying that. – And if you do it, you’re gonna get rid of the original? And yogurt cannot win. – [Rhett] I don’t think Oreo can win. – Okay, well I’ll give you that. – And I also think that milk chocolate has to be in there. But if it can’t win, then we’re really at a conundrum here. – I don’t like the caramel as much, but because it makes me like it so much, it makes me think that I should start to like it a lot. Which makes me think it needs to be in the top three. – I think the Oreo can be better than Caramel, but I don’t think that original can be the best. And I don’t think Oreo can be the best. But you said yogurt can’t be the best. – All right, fine. – Are you willing to say that, you know what? Their milk chocolate is such a perfect expression of chocolate bar that it should just be the best? I think I might be willing to say that. These are all fun little departures, but what’s really holding this together? What’s really making it sing? It’s the Milka chocolate. – I totally agree with you. And I think because this won me over, we’re kicking the Oreo to my personal collection. And we are crowning just as you said it. Say it again, Rhett. – Why? I don’t know what I said. – You said that the- – One, if the thing that’s making all of these great, (production laughing) is the milk chocolate. Just get one that’s the milk chocolate all the way through. Start to finish. It’s beautiful. It’s pure. Doesn’t get any best, better. It’s der beste. (popping) There you have it. – Are you out? – I love the timing on that. – All right. Wow. I hurt in here. (Rhett laughing) Thanks for subscribing and clicking that bell. – You know what time it is. – Hi. We’re the Ryans from Australia. And we just did an American sweet treat taste test. We didn’t like much, but our winner was milk duds. We’re gonna go eat some quality food now, so it’s time to spin the Wheel of Mythicality. – That family looks like a good time. It looks like a good time with the Ryan family. – They got vegetables. – Click the top link to watch us figure out if all snacks are just made by the same company, in Good Mythical More. – And to find out where the Wheel of Mythicality is gonna land. Our Black Friday has begun. Enjoy 20% off items storewide Mythical.com and discounts on all Mythical Society memberships MythicalSociety.com through the 28th.