We’re just a couple of boys playing with vintage toys. – Let’s talk about that. (upbeat music) “Good Mythical Morning.” – Now, I was in the toy aisle of a Target recently and can I just say kid’s toys are just dumb today. It’s like Squishmallow this, and Paw Patrol that. Where’s the ingenuity and where’s the danger? – Just because you put an animal face on a pillow don’t make it a toy, it don’t. – Right. – Unless it has teeth that can make you bleed. Now that’s a toy. – Mm-hmm. Yes, we think the toys of the past had a lot more to offer. And you know what? We’re gonna find out ourselves. It’s time for Terminated Toys, Judgment Day. (upbeat rock music) – We’re gonna be playing with some terminated toys, meaning they’re no longer in production. And then we’re gonna decide if those toys should come back or stay discontinued by declaring bring it back, or? – No, that’s whack. – Uh-huh. – All right, before you teach your kids about the birds and the bees you gotta first tell ’em about the double P. Pee pee that is. (Link chuckles) – And if you keep up with this kind of thing, yes, we’ve tested a much more modern peeing doll on “Good Mythical Mor,” than the one we’re about to test. But that was the Baby Alive doll, and you didn’t even get to see Baby Alive pee in the toilet. – Right. – What’s the point? – Uh-huh. – This vintage Magic Potty Baby gives the consumer what they really want. I’m talking about pee visuals. Let’s see the commercial. ♪ Magic Potty Baby, your bottle’s all done ♪ Oh. ♪ And potty training time ♪ ♪ will be so much fun ♪ – Yes. ♪ I’ll help you with your training ♪ ♪ ‘ cause you make me so proud ♪ ♪ Your potty feels like magic and it flushes out loud ♪ – [Narrator] It’s fun to help Magic Potty Baby learn to use her potty. Flush and you’re ready for next time. ♪ Magic Potty Baby, I’m so glad that you’re mine ♪ – [Narrator] Magic Potty Baby and her magic potty, no water, no mess, batteries not included. – That’s a catchy jingle. – Yeah, it is. It had a groove to it. – Magic Potty Baby might need to see a doctor. When your pee is the color of a road sign, (Link laughs) you need to drink more water. – Hey, you talking about me? – Yeah. I’m- – I don’t like water. – Yeah. – It’s for losers. – I think there’s two issues. One, your legs are so, you know what? No, these are so realistic. I mean, look at that. – [Link] She’s kneeless. She’s got no knees. – I had two babies and I remember their legs at this age were just like this before they fill in, you know? Before they fill in with muscle and bone. – She needs to pee. – Link, we have the contraption here. – Okay, here. You know what? I want you to be the one to pull her pants down on the internet. – Oh gosh. – I’m gonna bring in the potty. Mad Dog told us to keep this paper towel underneath it. – She looks like she could just walk right across the country. I mean, it’s just like, with legs like this she just like to see her- – Magic Potty Baby got separated from her family- – Peeing on every roadside and nobody even notices it. – She has to walk across the nation. ♪ I’m gonna make it for charity. ♪ (Rhett and Link chuckle) – All right. Okay. – So sit her down and then when you push, give her some gentle pressure. – So I’ll look away. Based on how realistic the legs are I don’t know what I’m gonna run into, oh. – Pull the pants all the way down, man. This is why the knees are so flacid, so that you can have that good old ankle drape and still see- – Well, first of all, hold on a second. Look how short her legs are on the box. Because when they took a picture of her they were like, “Something ain’t right here.” – Yeah. Let’s go out, now push it down. – And. – Pee, baby. – Pee, baby. – Just relax your urethra. – [Rhett] Hold on. Oh, is she peeing? – [Link] Oh, it’s filling up. – [Rhett] Oh, good gracious, she’s peeing. – Did it just dump out immediately? It it still trickling, Stevie? – No. – We want you to look. – [Stevie] It was like she peed before she was there. Can we do a redo? I mean, according to the commercial- – You gotta flush it. Maybe she’ll have to pee again. So let’s flush it. – Flush it. – Where’s the sound? – Oh. We got bubbles. – Oh, yeah. As with any broken toilet you gotta hold down the lever. – It used to make a sound, right, Mad Dog? – [Mad Dog] Yes. – Okay. – And then it stopped. – [Mad Dog] Yeah. Minutes ago. – Minutes ago? – Yeah. – But next time we’ll just add it in post. – Now, let’s set this up again. – Let’s go again. Oh, we gotta- – Oh, you gotta flip the whole thing. – Flip the whole thing. – Just like a regular toilet, you know? – [Link] And what is it? It’s actual urine, right? – Yeah, yeah. – Uh-huh. Yeah. – We paid $60 for this on eBay and- – The eBay seller peed in it for us. – [Stevie] That’s his username? – Yeah. – [Stevie] Peed in it for us. – Here we go, Stevie you do- – Yeah, but the four is just a number. – Let us know if it’s coming out. We don’t wanna. – [Stevie] Okay, I’m watching. Oh. – Yup. – Little trickle? – [Stevie] This is so uncomfortable. Oh. – Are you learning anything? – It’s okay, you just. You know what, just pee, girl. – Go piss, girl. – Squeeze out the pee. – That’s a meme I’ve been told. – You cut this crazy out to pee. – I just say the things I’m told to say. – Where’s the doll with the jellyfish sting? – Hmm. – We can just like. – Okay. You know what? Let’s see what doctors thought about this, because- – What do doctors had to think about? – Psychologists. Believe it or not, psychologists were against this. Dr. David Elkind, professor of child study at Tufts University, told the New York Times in early 1992, “These toys are going too far. What happens if it doesn’t work? Is the baby dead?” – What? So a a freaking child professor. Well, he’s not a child. Maybe he’s a child. That’s just a dumb assertion. – You know what? That makes a lot more sense. He was just a child. – He wasn’t a professor of child study. He was a child professor of study. – He showed up for like, bring your kid to work day and they put a tie on him and they were like, “Hey, you know what?” – “Well, what happens if he stops peeing? Is the doll dead?” – No, it’s a doll. It was never alive. – You still think dolls are alive? – Dr. Kid. – The dumb kid professor. – Wow. But she looks- – This is 1992. – She looks real happy though. I’ll give her that. If we had the sound, maybe it would be more for us. But I think that I got a couple of critiques of this. I think that this is how a toilet works. Oh gosh. – Yeah. Hey, it’s realistic. – Peed for us. – I like that though. – Hold on. You like what? – No, I don’t like it. – I like that, mm-hmm, daddy like that. – I like the fact that it’s apparently real urine. I mean- – Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. – Let’s go all the way with this thing. – Yeah, they made it so yellow though. Why? It’s really, you shouldn’t let your pee get that yellow. This is coming from somebody who stays regularly dehydrated. I never let that happen. – Where are we on this? – I’m saying that I think this teaches kids how toilets don’t work. ’cause every time they pee, they’re gonna be checking the whole toilet and turning it upside down to empty it, you don’t want that. – And it kills the baby every time. – They’re gonna think they’ve got dead babies when it stops working. – Yeah, you’re right. – This is a horrible idea. – Magic Potty Baby. – Nah, that’s whack. – Nah, that’s whack. – Let’s go back to the year 1977. A great year in which yours truly entered the world. You may recognize this little guy from an episode we did way back in the day. – Uh-huh. – We never got to try the product though, but we watched this commercial, hmm, about seven years ago. ♪ It’s time to milk her, gonna do it right now ♪ ♪ She drinks the water when we pump her tail ♪ ♪ She’s raising her head, it’s milking time now ♪ ♪ Her pretend milk is a filling the pail ♪ – She drinks water. – And gives pretend milk. ♪ Milky the Marvelous Milking Cow ♪ – [Narrator] Milky the Marvelous Milking Cow, with pretend milk tablets. She’s new from Kenner. – I mean, something else that has gotten worse over time is the music kid’s commercial, I mean, that was a banger. – Yeah. – “Pretend.” – “Pretend” cow. – Left turn town. – Yeah. I mean, we wanted this thing back then. But I guess we didn’t have $100. But we do now. And that’s what we paid- – Look at that- – For this. – It’s so big. – I mean, that is a nice specimen of Milky. – Looks like she’s been wallowing in that baby’s pee. What happened? Did you get mixed up? I mean, she is old, dude. She’s as old as you. – As old as me. This cow’s as old as me. – She’s as old as you. – Neither one of us are holding up very well. – Comes with a bell. And let’s see, “She drinks water.” – “She makes pretend milk.” – So you’re supposed to put a a tablet in. – We don’t have a tablet though. The tablets since is gone. – And the milk giver, but- – The tablets have since been lost into the ether. – All right, she’s gonna drink some water by, I think I broke her neck. – Yeah. Don’t be so rough. (Link speaking indistinct) I’ll hold her down if you need to pump the tail. Oh. – It’s working. – That sounded like a good suck. – You’re juts a sucking milk cow. – Good gracious. – This tail toy, it actually sucks, Roger. And then we- – I’m still really surprised after 45 years this sucking mechanism is still working. – It’s completely manual. – That’s impressive, even if it’s. Oh! – Oh, no! – Here we go! Okay. – [Link] And then. Whoa, let’s talk about getting hydrated. – So she’s supposed to raise her head just like every cow does when it’s ready to milk, right? But, ah, we, ah. – Butter. – Let’s make some with butter. – Milk starts with butter. – Let’s make some butter with this pretend milk. – Okay. – No. Don’t be disappointed when you just see water coming out this udder, because, oh, as you’re seeing it coming out of this udder right now. – See? And then you can just do that. It’s the short cut to milking a cow. Just yank up on his tail. – Well, but what happens? Is it? – If you do- – What are you supposed to do? Squeeze the whole udder? – [Link] If you give her a squeeze. – Could you put some other to catch it besides a paper towel? – Why? – Why would we do that? – I wanna have the milk all over me desk. (Rhett and Link chuckle) – But his kinda feels like a, like somebody had to come up with forgot the assignment. Like, forgot that they were, the toy designer person, like showed up to the board meeting and they were like, “You got any ideas?” And he was like, “Hmm, cow that you milk. And we’ll call it Milky!” And everybody was like, “Greatest idea we’ve had in years, Fred.” – I wonder how much you originally had to pay for this thing. I’m impressed with the workmanship of it. – But what happens if the cow stops milking? Is the cow dead? – That’s a good question. (Stevie laughs) – Huh? What are kids gonna not think? – I’m really liking this thing. I kinda wanna take her home. There is a “Toy Story.” – “Toy Story?” – Movie. – Yeah. – There’s a toy store. You know, one of those local toy stores you go in and they have all of these like, realistic stuff. It’s not Playmobil, but it’s like higher up than that. They’re smaller than this. I wanna see all my cow people and farm stuff this big. – Yeah. – I think there’s a market for it. – Yeah, the non-toy-like nature of this teaches kids about anatomy. They learn that all you gotta do is go up to the back of a cow and lift his tail to get it to milk. Lots of cool things that can happen. – I love this. – So we’re saying Milky the Marvelous Milking Cow. Bring it back. – Bring it back – Since the ’60s, Cher has been a household name. You know what it was? Cher. – Cher. Right. – Yeah. – Yeah. And now we can have Cher in our house with the 1977- – Oh yeah. – Cher Makeup Center by Mego. – Oh, that’s a great year. Did I tell you about what happened in ’77? – Yours truly? – That yours truly was brought into the world. – Uh-huh. – Did I say that already? – Yeah. You did. – Okay. We couldn’t find a commercial for this product. But Mego, boy, they were busy in ’77. They came out with another Cher doll around the same time. Let’s watch that commercial. ♪ Who has beautiful hair, Cher ♪ – This is Growing Hair Cher. – Wow. Look at her hair. – Growing Hair Cher. It’s a long hair doll. A medium hair doll. A short hair doll. You do it with a styling key. As you change Cher’s hair you change her look. Short and stylish, long and lovely. Or any length in between. When you change Cher’s hair, you change your look. Growing Hair Cher, with styling key, posing standing costume, by Mego. – I’m most impressed- – Nice. – By the girl’s hair. It looks like Lego hair that could just have just been taken off and put on someone else, like, bring another one in. – I know, that girl is a woman who’s still walking around this earth, I hope. And I’d love to meet her. Can we show just her again? Just watch how much her head moves when she’s talking. – Yeah. – When you change Cher’s hair, you change her look. – You sure do. – “When you change Cher’s hair, you change her look.” – She was obviously directed to do that. – I mean- – Yeah. – Nobody does that on her own. – It’s not on her. – “Move your head more. We don’t see that helmet hair move.” – That’s pretty cool though. All it takes is a key to give her a bob. – Okay. – Now let’s take a look at this Cher. – We actually had to pay $200- – Wow. – To get all the pieces for this. We went to one, two, three, four, five different eBay sellers in order to put the whole package together. – We reassembled Cher. – Look at the bone structure on that woman. – Yeah. I mean, this is a very realistic Cher, you know? – They nailed it. I think she stuck her head in a mold for this because a lot of people don’t know, Cher’s head is about that big. – So we can- – Sonny was just, about 2.5 feet tall. – Oh. Sonny. – Yeah. – I wonder if- – Died in a skiing accident. – Sonny kept one of these around after the divorce. – Yeah, he did. He slept with it. – Mm-hmm. So can do some hair rolling. – Now, one thing- – You can definitely do some brushing- – We didn’t have is, we did not have the makeup kit that it came with because it’s since been lost. – Couldn’t find that. – Let me see here. ♪ Do you believe in life after blush ♪ (Rhett and Link chuckle) – I do, man. I do. I’ma keep her hair out of her face so that you can do your thing. – Wow. That’s pretty, I mean, look at it. – I don’t know why I just keep- – She stares right through your soul. – This is what I do when I- – You did that and when you style a person’s hair. – I know. It’s like- – It was disturbing. – This is why I have dogs. – It was disturbing. – Lap dogs. ‘Cause I do- – ‘Cause you like to aggressively pet things. – If I met Cher, this is what I would do, you know? Hello Cher. – This makeup isn’t sticking very well to Cher’s skin. I don’t know if it’s because, it’s not the right thing for this or if just her skin has sort of firmed up over time. – [Link] You know what this reminds me of? Like hair training for. ♪ Salt Lake Community College ♪ ♪ Barberini Cosmetology School ♪ ♪ An unlicensed salon ♪ – Yes. – Cher Makeup Center. Bring it back. – Bring it back. – Quick announcement. Today is the last day of our Society Anniversary Promotion. So if you wanna grab one of those quarterly collectible items from 2022, while supplies last, then you need to join 3rd Degree Annual Plan by today. – Today. – To scoop up- – Come on y’all. – One of those things. The only way to get it, all right? – All right. Here is the 1991, Rollerblade Barbie doll. – Oh crap. Yes. – But she’s not just any rollerblader. If the people who made Milky the cow were in charge, they would’ve called her Sparky. Let’s see the commercial. ♪ Rollerblade Barbie ♪ ♪ I skate, you skate, we both got clothes that good, great ♪ – Yeah. ♪ Rollerblade Barbie ♪ ♪ Only your skates flicker and flash ♪ ♪ My friends, your friends, we all love the hottest trip ♪ – Cool Rollerblade. ♪ With Rollerblade Barbie ♪ ♪ Only your skates flicker and flash ♪ ♪ Rollerblade Barbie, you’ve got something special ♪ – [Narrator] Rollerblade Barbie doll comes with a pair of Rollerblade skates that really flicker and flash. Dolls each sold separately. – Wow. ♪ We both got clothes that look great ♪ ♪ So great ♪ Yeah, I like that. ♪ And my shoes are sparking fires everywhere ♪ – I’m actually gonna bring in this tray. – Yes. – ‘Cause I don’t wanna like jam on the, I don’t wanna burn the table. – Don’t jam on on the table, buddy. – Or even scar it. – Let’s see what we got. Let’s see what kind of fire action we can work up here. – Whoa. – Whoa. – That’s for real. – Hey, do you see that? Can you see that? – [Link] Barbie, wow. – Can you see that? Are you picking up on that? Are you picking up on that? You picking up on that? Okay. That seems a little bit dangerous, doesn’t it? – Oh. – Yes, indeed it was. Back in 1994, there was a parent who complained about his kids who were playing- – Oh, really? A parent complained? – He said, “Last year my two daughters received presents, of two Rollerblade Barbie dolls by Mattel. On March 8th, my eight year old daughter was playing beauty shop with her four year old brother. After spraying him with hairspray the children began to play with the boot to the Rollerblade Barbie. My little girl innocently ran the skate across her brother’s bottom.” – Innocently. – “Which immediately ignited his clothes.” That sounds like a barrel of fun if you ask me. – Yeah. – Hey, hey, (indistinct). Okay, all right. Do you wanna see if we can? You wanna see if we can get this (indistinct)? You want me to do it across your bottom? – No. (Rollerblades scraping) – What if I did it right on your? – One more. (Link and Rhett shouting) (flames roaring) (Link and Rhett continue shouting) – Oh, it’s actually kind of fun. It’s actually kinda fun. – Yeah! – Whoa. We’ve both got great clothes. – It really looks great. – Whoa. – You’re so hot. – Oh yeah, you’re so hot! Yeah. – Yeah. – Yeah. – Rollerblade Barbie. – [Rhett] Woo! Bring it back! – Bring it back! Oh, and we’re. Are we still on fire? – No. It went out when we said that. – Right, it went out- – When we said that. – When we said that. When we said that it went out. – Oh. I feel like I’m tasting hairspray. So much of that went in my mouth somehow. – Yeah, dude. – Listen, we brought a lot of things. Hmm. Well, I think I need some of that little baby pee to clean up my mouth. – Yeah. Why don’t you suck the teat of Milky? – Okay. A lot of bodily fluids today. – All right. We brought back the Marvelous Milking Cow. We brought back Cher with her amazing likeness. And of course the fire starter herself, Barbie. Should also get a chance- – What? – To come back. – Lots of stuff coming back. – A chance. – Thanks for subscribing and clicking that bell. – You know what time it is? (otamatone squeaking) (otamatone squeaking continues) – Oh, okay. It’s like a trombone but worse. – Thanks for doing that though. – Click the top link to watch us guess why certain children’s toys were scandalously discontinued in “Good Mythical Morning.” – And to find out where the Wheel of Mythicality is gonna land. Today is the last day to join 3rd Degree Annual to receive a past, 2022 quarterly item, while supplies last.