GMM 2537: Will It Uncrustable? Taste Test

Today we ask the age old question, Will it Uncrustable? Let’s talk about that. ((Intro Music)) Good Mythical Morning. You might argue that an Uncrustable is already a perfect food. Wikipedia defines it as, A foodstuff comprised of a filling sealed between two layers of bread by a crimped edge with the crust subsequently removed. Woo, crimped! My mouth starts watering a little bit when I read that definition. I know, I just, I just love nibbling on that crimped edge. So today. Don’t get too excited. We challenge the Mythical Kitchen to improve upon the already impeccable Uncrustable. It’s time for, – [Both] Will It Uncrustable? Can an Uncrustable be a magically delicious part of a balanced breakfast? Introducing, Lucky Charms Uncrustables, A.K.A. Luckery Uncrustable. Oh, well. Luckery Crustable. Okay, yes. Oh, follow your nose. As always. ((Laughing)) Trevor, what’d you do? – [Trevor] Hi, by the way, it’s great to see you guys. Great to see you. This is good to see, too. This is some fancy packaging. – [Trevor] Yeah, shout out to Chappie. Very, very. Mad Dog, I thought you said I wouldn’t have any trouble opening this. – [Lucas] I thought so, too. I mean. – [Trevor] But yeah, basically I made a sweet cereal milky bread, and then I made a kind of butter out of the cereal part of the Lucky Charms, and then a little jammy marshmallow, cute little rainbow jammy marshmallow. – [Rhett] How’d you crimp this? – [Link] Yeah, how’d you crimp this? – [Trevor] The technology in 2024. How crazy? How crazy is that? So, what you do is, do you want to see it? Yeah, come on out. – [Trevor] Come on out. My main question is, is it easy? I got my, should I hide myself? Crimping ain’t easy. Should I hide myself? Yeah! I mean, I was gonna let him have it. Yeah! He took your line, man. Say it, say it like I didn’t say it. Okay, crimp, crimp, crimping ain’t easy. Yeah! Yeah, so you get this circle thing, you cut the bread, and then after you cut the two circles of bread, then you put them on top of each other with the filling, and then you push it down. And then you can do that nibble that I love. Crazy, yeah, so. Enjoy! You hear about Trevor? – [Link] Turbo? He’s in a new gang. The crimps. Oh. I thought you were talking about, he’s doing stuff with Smosh, too. Oh, yeah, but, that’s something else. ((Laughing)) The crimping is great. – [Trevor] Oh, thank you. And I’m really hopeful because the thing that I hate most about Lucky Charms is the crust. – [Trevor] Okay. Let’s take a deep bite. – [Rhett] I took a pretty deep bite. What is that, homie? It’s pretty pleasant. The Lucky Charm. What are Lucky Charms made of? Oats? Wheat? I don’t know. Cereal. Whatever the cereal part, adding that to bread is a little bit, there’s a lot, it’s carby. We’re in a carby place. It’s kind of like it has a cookie in there. – [Trevor] Yeah. That’s a good cookie. – [Trevor] It’s sort of, I mean, what I made is kind of similar to cookie butter in the way that you make it. – [Rhett] Oh, yep. It tastes so good. That marshmallow jelly or whatever you want to call it. That’s something special. – [Link] And there’s milk in the bread? – [Trevor] There sure is. I love it. This is so good. – [Trevor] That’s the craziest part about it actually. Never before done. Milk in bread. No one’s ever done that. – [Trevor] No one. You gotta be in the crimps to do that. Okay. This is a big winner for me. It’s good. The milky bread does help to balance out any dryness that I might be kind of complaining about in the cookie butter part. Where’s your dryness? You know me, I’m not, I don’t do anything dry. – [Link] Lucky Charms, will it Uncrustable? – [Both] Yes! Up next we have a very special Uncrustable creation made in tribute to our kind neighbors to the north. It’s the iconic mix of fried potatoes, gravy, and cheese curds. It’s the poutine Uncrustables, A.K.A. Poutinables, eh? Eh? Eh? Trevor, what did you do? – [Trevor] Oh boy, what a treat do I have for you today, guys. We’re talking french fry bread. We’re talking french fry bread. Oh, he said it twice. – [Trevor] Two of them, because you got both sides of it. And then there’s, you know, we got a little, we got a little cheese curd, kind of, kind of, buttery jammy cheese curd, and then a little gravy, kind of, kind of also jammy. I’m doing Link things over here. Cutting things in half, showing cross sections. I like that, and then I’m taking it. New year, new me. Whoa, it’s warm too, Trev. – [Trevor] It sure is, that’s how you eat the poutine. Now, I’m, I’m just noticing that the crimping is kind of just on the, on the top. It’s not. Well, how does it compare to, like, the original? If you look at, if you look, the crimping on the actual one is like, it’s two sided crimping. Oh, you know why? It kind of crimps in the middle. – [Rhett] You know why? Cause it ain’t easy. It ain’t easy. It ain’t easy. I don’t know. I think he’s an initiate, you know what I’m saying? I think, I don’t think he’s actually in the crimps yet. – [Trevor] I can hear you. I think he’s, I think he’s gotta go find a pedestrian and kill them. You don’t have, you don’t have your patch yet, do you? – [Trevor] I don’t know what that means. I don’t want to say anything that could, I don’t know, get me in trouble. Is this good? It has to be, right? Whoa! Oh, now! Look at that gravy coming out. – [Rhett] It’s so savory! Woo! Good God. I love how it’s just all brown. You know you’re eating good when everything’s brown. You know? If it’s brown, put it down. No, if it’s brown, take it down. Yeah, yeah. That’s what they say on those charts at the doctor. – [Trevor] Suck it down. Suck it down if it’s brown, suck it down. – [Trevor] Slurp it. Slurp it down. Put that on a T-shirt. I just love, there’s nothing better than a crimped bread pocket of goodness. Yeah, I gotta say, you’re right. I mean, this is the superior way to smuggle anything into your stomach. Oh, yo, nice. Oh my gosh. I’m just, I’m enamored. And curds, like, the softness of the whole thing. I didn’t know about the curds. That’s new to me. I mean, I guess when I’ve eaten poutine, I’ve eaten it so quickly. I just thought it was fries with gravy on it. Is curd the best cheese? I mean, it’s up there, dude. Is curd the best cheese? ((Laughing)) That is a great question. And I think the answer is unequivocally, that’s not a word, yes. I curd that. – [Rhett] Poutine, will it Uncrustable? – [Both] Yes! Hey, a reminder, we’re releasing a cookbook this year, the Mythical Cookbook, written by Josh with the support of the entire Mythical Kitchen team. It’s going to teach you how to prepare some of yours and our favorite recipes from the show and some things that you’ve never even tasted before in your life. So good. You can preorder it now at Mythical.com/cookbook And you should. It’s coffee table worthy too. – [Crew Member] Wahoo! I mean, just look at that. Just sitting on a coffee table. It’s like, oh, what is that? It makes me want to cook. It’s not me personally, but probably you. Okay. There’s a subgroup of Uncrustable consumers who prefer their crusty straight out of the freezer. No judgment. This one is for you. Oh, well it sounded like you were reserving some judgment there. I, oh yeah, there was a pause, so I didn’t want to think I was doing that. It’s right there. And here it is right here. It is the Blue Raspberry ICEE Uncrustable. A.K.A. the Abominable Uncrustable! Oh, I get it. So, ooh, it’s, ooh, it’s completely froze. Now be careful with your little sensitive teeth now. Thank you. Thank you for saying that. I feel seen. Now, it hurts him when he, it hurts him. It hurts him when he bites ice. We got, we got some leakage. When he bites ice, it hurts him. It makes me go. He don’t like to bite ice. I just bite an ice and I go. – [Trevor] Okay. We grew up in a place where people would say, “as-ce” When they would say bite “as-ce” What’d you do? – [Trevor] It’s pretty, pretty simple this one is. So, what I did is I put a bunch of ICEE into that there bread, made it blue. And then I made a little ICEE granita and you’re going to want to get into that because that’s why it’s leaking is because it is ICEE in there. Granita? – [Trevor] Yeah. What is that? – [Trevor] Oh my God, Link, what is granita? You’re, you’re kidding me. It’s like an Italian ice dessert where you blend up kind of a fruit and, sugar and water and then you freeze it and there’s a whole process. Trevor, do you ever bite ice? – [Trevor] I bite ice all the time. Ooh. It’s sore for me, the bread helps because if you freeze bread, it just makes it cold. It doesn’t. Yeah. ((Laughing)) No. Hold on. It doesn’t make it hard. It doesn’t make it, it doesn’t make it hard. Trevor. Yeah, it is funny Trevor. It is funny though, If you freeze bread, it just gets cold, but not hard. – [Trevor] You’re a funny guy, man. But that ice in the middle is icy. Now, Trevor, you can’t, you can’t laugh like that in any of our gang meetings. Okay? – [Trevor] Okay. Because. People are gonna drop to the floor thinking that it’s a new type of projectile. Oh. Yeah. Oh, wow. Get in the middle. It’s hard for me to bite the middle, man. Take a real icy bite. Oh, there it is. Take the iciest bite you can. Ow! I think you can build up a tolerance. I don’t need to, Rhett. But you might, you don’t know what’s gonna happen in the future. You don’t know what the robots are gonna do. You just don’t want me to annoy you with my sensitive teeth. You might, you might. I’m so sorry that my sensitive teeth has an impact on you. It might be the case that the robot overlords decide that their test of your metal is whether or not you can bite into ice. And listen, I’m just looking out for you. The test of my metal? The test of your metal. I don’t like it. You know why? Because. Of the taste? – [Link] The taste is. – [Rhett] Because that’s why I don’t like it. – [Link] The taste is not great. The bread. I’m not much of an ICEE guy. – [Trevor] Talk to the polar bear. He made it. Not me. Where is he? – [Trevor] Sorry, that one might have been a little complicated. You think that polar bears everywhere will be offended? I don’t think any of them are down here. If I just suck out the ICEE, that tastes decent. But the bread itself is not. Cold, bread that cold? Not great. Sorry Trevor, you can’t win them all. Blue Raspberry ICEE, will it Uncrustable? – [Both] No. The first time we ate pig anus on this show was in a Will It, Will It Soup back in 2016. And the most recent time we had pig anus is in a Will It, in 2019, Will It Funnel Cake. Okay, so we’re past due for some porcine pooper. Oh, we are? I give you the pig anus Uncrustable A.K.A. The Buttcrustable. Pretty great name. So, that’s a positive. Ah, crap. I will say that this is our last round and we have not used our. The Third Mouth. We can bring anyone of our choosing to join us in this endeavor. Of course we gotta try it first, so. This is cute. I mean, look, you got the, you got the porcine. – [Rhett] Yeah, you got a little pig butt. The pig hole right there. Look at that. Alright, Trevor, what did you do? – [Link] Yeah, so I took out their pig anus. Do you want to, like, cut that? – [Trevor] I boiled it, and then I put it in a blender. And just blended it up into a paste. And then I put a bunch of that in the bread. And then a bunch of that in the middle. It’s in the bread? – [Trevor] It’s in the bread and in the middle. Certified 100 percent pig anus. I’m trying not to touch it. – [Link] Pig anus. Even though I will be eating it shortly. Oh, it’s so blendy. – [Link] It’s very. – [Rhett] Oh, it’s so soft. Oh, why is it so white? It’s a clean butthole. – [Trevor] Clean butthole. That pig was bleached, huh? It bleached, yep. ((Laughing)) It was a porn pig. Okay, gosh. – [Trevor] Jesus. Alright. Let’s give it a little whiff. Yeah. Do I have to? Hold on, I feel like you gotta eat from the middle too, man. I feel like you gotta eat from the middle too. Alright, let me fissure it. Oh, gosh. Okay. Oh! I mean it, it doesn’t look unpleasant. Are you gonna smell it before you eat it? I smelled the outside and it was still pretty bready, but a little scary. Well, let’s smell the inside. It’s so specific. What is that? It’s pig anus. And there’s only one thing in the world that smells like it, in my experience, and it’s a pig’s anus. And it’s clean. That’s the thing that blows my mind. But it smells dirty. It’s fully cleaned and it smells so dirty. Gosh, it smells dirty. Why does it smell like that? You would think that after it’s cooked. – [Trevor] Do you guys want, in case you need a napkin. Trevor. Hey, we have this button, we’re not afraid to use it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, don’t tempt us, Trevor! Dink it. And sink it. Ugh, it’s so fatty! Think of it like this though. Oh, it’s been too long. You know, fun fact. Glad to be back here with you. Calamari Uncrustables are made from pig anus Uncrustables. ((Laughing)) Oh my gosh. Don’t you do it. Don’t you do it. Don’t do it. You can taste it. Take it down. Take it down! I took such a big bite. Take it down! Hold on. That’s not helping. ((Laughing)) Just think of it like calamari. Or whatever you were saying. Oh, it’s so bad. I mean, it’s like, it’s like waxy and it’s coating my entire mouth. They won’t let us in the crimps if we don’t eat this. I wanna be in the crimps. I got it. Oh, it’s bad. Oh, it’s still so bad. Okay, got it. Man, once I overcame that initial vomitus sort of thing I was able to power through. Oh, gosh. Oh, what are we gonna do? Trevor! Come on, boy! Oh, creeper! Hey, listen, we just passed the test. We’re in the crimps. You’ve done this to me twice now, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you, get on your knees. ((Laughing)) Do I have to? We don’t cheer for him. Now if you need a barf bucket, there is one available, but. I’m gonna need it. Now I, listen. Pull it in half. Just to get out, to do a little psychological preparation for this. I already want to puke. When I took a bite of this, I wanted nothing more than to vomit, and then my good friend Link came in and encouraged me and I got through it. And once you get through that initial reaction, you can actually do it, and you’re not gonna be in the gang! You’re not gonna be in the gang if you can’t do it! I never wanted to be in the gang. You want to be a crimp or not? ((Laughing)) Huh? Tell me, you want be a crimp? – [Rhett] Yeah, yeah, you’ve wanted to be a crimp all your life. Okay, should I just do it now? Yeah. Now, now, you gotta try to swallow. I’ll try, but you’re not taking this away from me. But, wait. Yeah, yeah. I’m not gonna take a bite if I’m not holding this in my mouth. Alright, dude. Yeah, yeah. You don’t want to make him feel too uncomfortable. Don’t just go for it so quickly, though. Okay. The moment you start feeling it, move it to the cheek. Chipmunk it and wait, okay? Chipmunk it and wait. Alright, here we go. Okay. Dink it. Sink it. Yeah, that’s the worst. You’re past the worst part. Chipmunk it. You’re past the worst part. Put it in your, put it in your, put it in the chipmunk. We’ll pause, we’ll pause, we’ll pause. Put it, put it, put it. Come on, man. Put it in your cheek. – [Rhett] This is so bad. – [Link] Put it in the cheek. – [Rhett] Yeah, hey man. How am I supposed to swallow it, if it’s in my cheek. Here’s the thing, though. Think about all the fun we’re going to have in our gang. You’re so right. We’re gonna be walking around the neighborhood and we’re a good gang. We do good deeds. Can we go frolicking? People hold things out. People hold things out and we crimp them. ((Laughing)) We show up in the neighborhood. Y’all got anything for us to crimp? And people bring out all kinds of things. We crimp everything. You wanna be there, you wanna be there. You wanna crimp with us! You want to crimp with us! Bring it to the middle and take it down. Yeah. Just like you said, all the way down. There you go. There you go. ((Laughing)) Turbo time! ((Laughing)) Yeah! Take it down! Yeah, yeah, you got it, you got it, you got it, he’s doing it. Yes! ((Applause)) And you know what? Here, take some of that to chase it. Yeah, yeah. That’ll help. Take a real Uncrustable. He’s shaking. He’s shaking all over. Oh, the peanut butter, oh yeah. That’s doing it. This really does help. Oh man, hey, officially, he’s in the crimps. Welcome to the crimps. Thank you. Happy to be here. So. Congratulations, dude. Will it Uncrustable? – [Rhett] Yeah, I think so. We all got it down. Yeah. Yeah, we did it. Well, we’re not doing a crew tournament, so it doesn’t matter as much this time. Crew tournament is, is with another series this year. Yeah, it is. So you’re saying it doesn’t matter? So, we, yeah, we can, we can agree to disagree on that. I’ll say yes. Okay. Well, that’s what I said. ((Laughing)) – [Link] We can agree to agree. – [Rhett] Okay. We agree to agree. Yes, it can. – [Link] Hey, I mean. Great job, Trevor. Thank you. Thanks for subscribing and clicking that bell. ((Laughing)) You know what time it is. I’m Joe. I’m Jamie and we live in Illinois. And we’re about to try a peanut butter and honey sandwich and it’s time to spin the Wheel of Mythicality. They’re awesome. Great in a cereal too. Click the top link to watch us taste and rank Sporked’s favorite soups. Sporked’s. Sporked’s favorite soups in Good Mythical More. And to find out where the Wheel of Mythicality is going to land. – [Rhett] The Mythical Cookbook features fan favorite dishes from GMM and Mythical Kitchen and tons of completely new original recipes. You can preorder it right now at Mythical.com/cookbook

Discover more from Searchicality

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading