Let’s tell some romantic stories. – Okay. Hi, my name’s Arni, and I’m from Iceland. Let’s talk about that. ♪ (theme music) ♪ Good Mythical Morning! – You made some kind of gesture. – I was trying to make a G…. – with my two hands. – Okay. I can’t tell if that looks like a G. If that looks like a G, let him know. If it doesn’t, let him know. This episode is brought to you by Kotula’s: The Guys With the Goods. Where else can you get a chair… like this? This is the Kingpin Chair. And while I’m in such a huge chair, we wanna ask you a huge favor. We want you to submit a video response telling us when, how, and why you watch Good Mythical Morning. We might put it in a video on our main channel. Happy Valentine’s Day. If you didn’t know it was Valentine’s Day and you don’t care, – then okay, just Happy Day. – Just keep watching, though, I mean… But if you have a significant other and you didn’t know it was Valentine’s Day, – You’re probably in trouble right now. – And we’re trying to help you out here, especially if you’re in the New York City area, because, if you haven’t figured out what you’re gonna do for Valentine’s Day, you still have an opportunity to take your – date to a sewage plant. – This is real? Yes. It may not smell like a rose, but a New York City sewage plant is offering – tours for lovers on Valentine’s Day. – How– how could this be? I have no idea. I mean, obviously they’re trying to bring some sort of– is there irony here that I don’t understand? Because it’s an actual news story. Jim Pynn says the highlight of the tour will be the plant’s giant egg-shaped digestures– digesters– which bring down the noxious wastes into harmless sludge – and gas. – Boy, that’s… you know, nothing spells “romance” like big egg-shaped sewage digesters. I’ve always thought that. Well, here’s the kicker. Pynn says each Valentine’s Day’s visitor will get a Hershey Kiss. I would do the smell test on the Hershey Kiss. – (both laugh) – I would make sure it was a Hershey Kiss. Good note. Um… I don’t know that my wife would enjoy going to a sewage plant, but I will tell you what my wife did enjoy. Back in college when we were dating, – Oh. – One of my more romantic escapades, I think if it’s ever gonna be appropriate to share, today is the day to share it. – Okay. – There’s nothing inappropriate about it, so I don’t want you to think that I’m gonna share something inappropriate. – Just romantic. – Okay. I wasn’t thinking that. Obviously you’re scared that you may share something inappropriate. – I think you’re speaking to yourself. – I could at any point share something – inappropriate. That’s part of who I am. – I think that probably isn’t true. And I embrace it and then constantly battle with it. Well, just share the appropriate version of this one. Junior year in college, I think we’d been dating about a year. So you know, things are getting a little more serious. Valentine’s Day is approaching. I gotta be more… I gotta take things up a notch. This is our second Valentine’s Day we were dating. Now, Christy went to Meredith College, which is an all-girls school basically across the street from North Carolina State University where I attended – along with you. You were my roommate. – Not Meredith. I was at NC State. – And so was I. – Yes. – She was at Meredith. – The Angels. The Meredith Angels. – I hatched this romantic plan. – Laid an egg. – An egg-shaped digesture… digest– – At a sewage plant. – I can’t say that. – Now, let me preface it by saying that our song… I recommend having a song, if you’re dating, you know? (softly) Oh, our song is playing. Let’s stop what we’re doing and dance in public. (normally) Women love that kinda stuff. When you dance with ’em in public? – Mm. Really? – Big Lionel Ritchie fans. For those of you who don’t know who Lionel Ritchie is, you’re lost. That’s him over there. – Well, that’s a painting of him. – That’s a rendering of him. That’s a lopsided rendering of him. Nicole Ritchie’s father. Our song– – (laughs) That’s how you’d explain– – To some of these people! That is such an insult to Lionel Ritchie. Don’t ever explain who Lionel Ritchie is– – I’m sorry, Lionel. – by referencing his daughter. I’m sorry, Lionel. I’m just trying to get these youngsters here to know who you are. Our song was Lionel Ritchie’s Stuck On You. ♪ I’m stuck on you… I got this feeling ♪ ♪ (both) down deep in my soul that I just can’t ♪ – ♪ (Rhett) hide– ♪ – ♪ (Link) lose– ♪ – ♪ lose ♪ – Hide! I thought he couldn’t hide it. – It needs to rhyme. – Oh. It’s already written, you don’t have to try to rewrite it. Talk about insulting Lionel! You’re gonna try to rewrite Stuck On You? That was our song. – I think the remake he said “hide.” – I hatched this plan that involved having to break in to Meredith College… after hours. – Uh oh. – The night before Valentine’s Day. And this is a– I mean, I have visited Meredith College at times when men – were not supposed to be there. – Oh! – And… you didn’t know about this? – No! Okay, well, I have. And they have Boy Day. It’s like once a week. That’s when boys – could come, but– – At night– If you’re smart you knew how to get on campus when it wasn’t Boy Day. – Right. – And it did not involve a wig. Heh. But you’d have to– usually you’d drive up and there’d be a gatekeeper and they would ask, “Who are you here to see? Blahblahblahblahblah….” – Yeah. – And then they would call… I guess they would call the father. You know, they were very protective. – (laughs) – No. I don’t know what they would do. – Have to get the dad’s permission. – All I needed to do was get to her car in – the parking lot. – Mmhm. And… suffice it to say, I found a way to get into the all-girls parking lot to the all-girls college. I snuck around. I found her car. – Good. – It was a… a Honda Accord. – Mmhm. – That doesn’t matter. That has no impact on the story, except now you know the surface area of the Honda Accord. – ‘Cause that is important. – That’s important. Here’s what I did: I took… I probably had five hundred Post-it Notes. – Mmhm. – And I had taken all of them and I had – cut them all into the shape of hearts. – Some kind of stencil? Or did you, like– – I just did it by hand. – Like ten at a time? Fifteen at a time? Well, I tried to do, like, 80 or 100 at a time, and that’s impossible. – (laughs) – I quickly learned that you could – probably do thirteen at a time. – Okay. And you do the math. I cut 500 of these in to hearts and then I meticulously… – About 23 times. – I snuck up to the car. I mean, this is, like, three o’clock in the morning before Valentine’s Day. And I stuck– tscht!– – the hearts all over the car. – Did you say 500 or 300? – I said 500. – Oh. That’s about 40 times. The Post-it Notes covered every square inch of the car, heart-shaped. And then I wrote a note on one of ’em right there by her door and it said: “I’m stuck on you.” (silly voice) Pretty good, isn’t it? (normally) She loved it. – Now, what I didn’t do was– – Hopefully you did not make – that face or that voice– – Heungh! – (laughs) when she called you. – (silly voice) Hey, baby! Don’t you like – that? Don’t you like what I did? – I advise playing it a little smoother – than that. – (deeply) More like your voice. Well, you don’t have to use that voice. I mean, that’s kind of my trademark. – You know, but, whatever. – (normally) I wish I could’ve placed a camera or just camped out underneath her car, but I just let her call me the next day. You know, she got up the next morning and I got the phone– – And she was happy. – (high pitched) Ohhhh! – She wasn’t inconvenienced. – (normally) Well, she was both. I mean, – she did have to clean off all the– – You didn’t go help her? I just said, “Hey, just come over here, pick me up, and just drive as fast as you can. By the time you get here, whatever hasn’t fluttered off, I’ll clean up.” – And you’ll be arrested for littering. – I’m just joking. I came and cleaned ’em up, people. Don’t be up in arms. You know, that’s pretty romantic! – It’s pretty romantic. – It’s memorable. I’m riding that wave of – romance from junior year in college– – You haven’t done that in ten years. – all these years of being married. – You haven’t been that romantic in ten – years, really is what it comes down to. – ♪ Got this feelin’ down deep in my soul ♪ – ♪ that I just can’t lose ♪ – Hide. Okay. I’ve been romantic in the past. (chuckles) I’m gonna be romantic this week. I’m not gonna share my Valentine’s Day plans because that would ruin it for – my wife. – So it’s not happening today, it’s happening… it’s a delayed Valentine’s plan? Well, you’re watching my kids, remember? I’m watching your kids when you and your – wife go– – I just don’t know how much you wanna give away on Valentine’s Day if it’s delayed– – Well I wanna tell an old story. – so you just need to be careful. This is back when my wife was eighteen and we hadn’t even started dating. We actually met when she was seventeen, but when she was eighteen… – and you were thirty… one? – Thirty-seven, thirty-eight? – (laughs) – Okay, that’s sarcasm, okay? – When I said “thirty-seven,” that– – How old were you? – I was twenty-one. – Okay. Okay. So I was older. I was an older gentleman. Three years older. – Mmhm. – But there was a Valentine’s Day – banquet in Fuquay-Varina and I– – Nothing unusual about that. and I did not– I basically had broken up with a girl before I started dating who is now my wife, and I said, “You know, I don’t wanna date anybody for a while. “I’m gonna take a year off of dating, you know? Just no women right now. “I’m just gonna put that aside for a second.” You were boxing out the rebound relationship. Yes. But then I met Jessie so soon after that, I was like, “Oh, man, I really like her and I’d really like to date her, but she’s eighteen…” – Mm. – I was in college, she was a senior in high school. I was like, “I’m not gonna date a girl that’s in high school.” And of course I was giving you advice: “You should just go for love, man.” – Yeah. No, you said not to date her. – Because she wasn’t even in college yet. But there was this Valentine’s Day banquet, and so I was like, augh! You know, and it was one of these things– it was sponsored by our church, where – her parents went and my parents went. – Mmhm. So it was just a very, like… this atmosphere is kinda just like families hanging out. This would be the perfect thing just to kinda spend some time with her, but it’s not a date. But I was kinda psyching myself out. Anyway, I ended up calling her house the night before the Valentine’s Day banquet at like 11:30. – Oh. – Way too late to call somebody’s house, especially when they still live at home. And I got her mom on the phone– Not to mention, you’re about to ask her out on a date! – At like midnight the night before! – Less than 24 hours in advance? And I had to call her house and I was like, “Hey… this is Rhett. Can I speak to Jessie?” And it was awkward. And then I get her on the phone and I’m like, “You wanna go to that Valentine’s Day banquet?” And I knew I was being a jerk, kinda inconveniencing her and doing this thing at the last minute. Anyway, I learned later that she was upset with me ’cause she thought that I was gonna ask her to the thing a week before that, and now I wait ’til the last minute… – Like a normal tasteful human being. – And then I take her, and– when I was hanging out with her, I was trying to do this thing like I wasn’t really dating her, like I wouldn’t open her door for her and stuff. I was a jerk, right? And then I wasn’t really acting like I liked her, ’cause I was trying to play it too cool. She had a horrible experience. Fast forward one year later, the next Valentine’s Day. Now we’re dating. She’s in college, we’re both in college, I feel like it’s okay for us to date now. We are dating. We’re in a good relationship, but I said, “I wanna make up for–” I didn’t tell her any of this. “I wanna make up for how I flubbed Valentine’s Day at the banquet.” – Flubbed, you know, is an understatement. – We went back to the same facility. I got my mom and my mother-in-law to set this up. We got the same facility where the Valentine’s Day banquet was the year before. – Mmhm. – And I got my mom and my mother-in-law to prepare the exact same meal– the same menu that they had at the banquet– and I got them to prepare it and serve us and we sat in the same place in this banquet. – We were the only people at this place. – Ohhh, that’s the kicker. – Just me and her. – You didn’t invite the whole town of – Fuquay. – No. Just me and her, and we sat there and we had this meal and we recreated the experience. And then we did dance, but it wasn’t public, you know? You said it’s good to dance in public. It’s good to dance spontaneously whenever your song comes up. We danced to a little Lionel Ritchie, because I’m a fan too. – Really. – We danced to that song where he says, – ♪ Endless love ♪ – No, the one about being– I got this feeling down deep in my soul that I just can’t hide? – Oh, that one. – Yeah, that one. But anyway, that has become a great Valentine’s Day memory. I don’t think I’ve ever topped it. And don’t even worry about it. You know? You can probably ride that one a few – more years. That was a great one. – Now, we don’t mean to put any pressure on you, because listen, a lot of you people out there are single, you know? A lot of you don’t even believe in celebrating Valentine’s Day, and that’s fine. What are your plans? What are you gonna do? What’re you gonna do? Is there, like, an anti-Valentine’s Day movement? How are you celebrating – that? – Let’s spin the Wheel of Mythicality and find out how we’re gonna end this episode of Good Mythical Morning. Suggest your endings! Things that we can do in, like, five or six seconds, people! We need some more, ’cause TBD? What that means is “to be determined.” – By you. – Yes. – In your comments. Facebook, Twitter. – (Rhett) Motivational speech. So this is like, ah, Tony Robbins. (dramatically) You know what? Whether you’re dating someone or whether you’re single. Whether it’s Valentine’s Day or any day, it’s the first day of the rest of your life. You need to reach down deep into this part of your soul, down here in the abdominal area, and you need to grab that. You need to grab hold of that in the same – way that you’re grabbing hold of life. – That’s step one! – You need to pull it up! – That’s step two! But don’t show any flesh. Don’t show any flesh. You don’t wanna do that. Just pull it up and… grab life by the abdominal area. And then step forward, raise your hands into the air as if you’re releasing it into space! And say at the top of your lungs, “I am a human being! I matter!” And then breathe in– (sniffs) the universe. Breathe in as much of the universe as you can. Hold it. (sniffs) – And then step five– – (exhales) Release it. – Release it. – Release (exhales) the universe back – into the universe. – Release the universe back into the – universe! And we will see you… – (both) tomorrow. [Captioned by Caitrin: GMM Captioning Team]