Which kid’s meal is the best to fill an adult’s stomach again? let’s talk about that! Good Mythical Morning! We’re about to figure out which kid’s meal is best to fill an adult’s stomach. But before we talk about our tummies, we want to talk about our minds, because this portion of today’s episode is sponsored by Betterhelp. For years now, we’ve been open about our positive experience with therapy. Yes, for me, therapy is a chance to work on me being kinder to myself. I’ve long struggled with quieting my inner critic. I gave him a name. Like, I started role playing with my inner critic in therapy. And I called him Timmy. Timmy? Tim? Yeah, right! No, I didn’t call him Timmy. That’s personal. Oh, okay. Therapy has helped give me the tools to work on my perfectionist tendencies. And therapy was a game changer for me, too. And I’ve often said I didn’t even realize how badly I needed it until I started it. And before therapy, I was so stressed that I was experiencing physical symptoms as a result, it’s been a huge part of helping me lead a healthier, happier life. And he’s been milking this story for how he almost went blind for years. I didn’t know. I wasn’t gonna say that. But it’s true. Our advocacy for therapy is why we’re so glad that BetterHelp is making it more accessible to everyone. I love that. With BetterHelp, you can search for the therapist who’s the right match for you without having to worry about insurance, who’s in your network, or leaving your home. So if you’re ready to feel that benefit yourself, you can get started today by visiting our link, betterhelp.com/good-mythical-morning. You just gotta answer a few questions, and you’ll get matched to a professional therapist that has years of experience helping people with struggles just like yours or different than yours You’re unique. Let Betterhelp connect you to a therapist who can support you, offering the comfort of your own home. Visit betterhelp.com/goodmythicalmorning, or choose Good Mythical Morning during sign up and enjoy a special discount on your first month. And thanks again to BetterHelp for sponsoring this portion of today’s episode. Go on… Now earlier this year, we tasted kids meals from big chain restaurants to determine which makes for the best adult sized meal… It’s called gaming the system. Uh huh. But we’ve only scratched the surface of these chain restaurant kids meals, so we’re gonna try even more to see if a new kid’s meal can steal the crown. It’s time for. I need more kids meals for my big boy tummywummy!! Okay, boys, we’re gonna kick things off with a kid’s meal from Applebee’s. This is their chicken quesadilla. And, of course, we’ve chosen to give you a double helping of melted cheese today by pairing it with a side of mozzarella sticks along with a kid’s mountain dew dark berry bash, all for $6.99. Please begin tasting, and when you’re finished, rank it in the corresponding spot behind you. Can’t do Stevie. So, what else could we have chosen for this? besides… more cheese sticks? Oh… you could have gone with some healthier options, including Mott’s applesauce or steamed broccoli. Screw that! Or… You could have gone more potato forward with classic fries or garlic mashed potatoes… or a vanilla yogurt with strawberries?? Yeah, that sounds good. Anything would have been better than what you stuck us with. No, double cheese is great! That’s bad for you. The constipation?! Here’s the thing… We’re going to be ranking these on a scale of one to five. Okay? Starting with the worst “Youth Can’t Be Serious” “Childly Disappointing” “Kiddle of The Road”. Oh… Okay, I get it. “Groovy Juvie” juvenile… Oh, yeah. Sweet child of mine It’s a reference to a song. Axl Rose. He’s still out there doing it, too. Watch footage of Axl Rose singing. He’s not hitting the notes as well as he did at one point. He’s hitting, well, he’s hitting different notes. — they’re not as low. Yeah, but bring it down a few steps. You know what I’m saying? Bring it down a few steps. Right. You already said that. I dip my quesadilla in marinara. You know, they. They have to wrap a hair tie around his scrotum for him to hit those notes now. Cause I’m a kid! Well, they need to put another one around. Who is they?! Roadies. Just random roadies. I hear you’re on hair tie duty tonight. Whoever draws the shortest straw. Too much cheese! Let me try the dark. I think Applebee’s mozzarella looks like I’m not used to this Are you okay?. Mozzarella sticks are really good. Really good!! The quesadilla is not great. Quesadilla’s okay. Good for a kid, though. umm… I’m not that impressed with this. I think it’s going to their lower end right? I mean, I. Well, I mean…. what?! what?! We’re gonna get other things. We’ll see. I don’t know what you don’t like about cheese, though. Too much cheese. Yeah, but a lot of people like cheese like me Constipation All right, we can move it around! Some people need to be a little bit more constipated. We don’t have to get… Well, okay… fine. I believe you. Some people have the opposite problem. I don’t want to talk about it! He’s got the runs. Here I am! So… Carney was really insistent that I kick off this round with a specific line. And I said, if you’re so insistent, then you can do it. Fine. Okay, gentlemen, loosen your belt buckles… It’s time for some BJ’s. I’m so glad I did not say that! uhh… yeah yeah yeah, I get it. Cause you eat a lot of BJ’s! You know, when you get there, you go… it’s a lot to experience Carney eats a lot of BJ’s. Yes. Their kids meal includes PJ’s, boneless wings with root beer, barbecue sauce. And for your side, we’ve chosen white cheddar mashed potatoes. Cause we heard that Link loves cheese! We also have a handcrafted, in quotes, cream soda as your drink, all for $7.45. Well, let me tell you right now, something is wrong with the sauce! With the BBQ sauce. Good God. Good God! What are you doing? Like, so they’re a pizza place. It tastes like Christmas. That makes Pizookies… for dessert. yet… They’re not a pizza place… Bj’s. The place with pizookies?! BJ’s has pizza. They have pizza… Everyone is shaking their heads. That they have pizza but they’re not a pizza place… I don’t even know what that means. I know nothing about BJ’s. It’s a pizza place?! Why? Why would a pizza place? Kids play… Kids play… Not have pizza in it. Stevie, did you have that thing that you did when you were a kid when people would say the different cars and they would go I must have been really popular in like the early eighties. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Three times the charge. You didn’t do that in your school?! Nope. we did that. We had a lot of fun. It was this greek elementary comedy routine. I really like it. And how does that tie into when we don’t. They serve Suzuki’s at BJ’S! Pizookies. Yeah. You can add a kid’s Pizookies. That’s pretty good! for $3.95 to this meal if you wanted to. I don’t. Yeah, umm. the potatoes are pretty good, the chicken is pretty good. I can’t believe how bad the barbecue sauce is. The sauce is horrible. It’s like, if you were to, like, shellack a mannequin, like, you know how they’re kind of shiny? Your mannequin get dull. You want to shellack it. How do you get there? How do you get there with a. It’s kind of growing on me. Well, I appreciate the fact that it’s got meat. I hate this. I mean, it’s not cheese, but it’s meat, so I’ll put it above cheese. Ahhh, I hate this… right. It’s hearty. Avoid the sauce. It’s not Hardy’s, though. Then you’ll be happy. Okay. This is a kid’s mushroom, pepperoni, sausage pizza. from… Are you bored or just not trying? Well, Brittany had a good joke pitch to throw back to BJ’s that I was considering actively. As I was hearing something else no, at this point… Alright, let’s hear it! You’re not gonna say it. Just let us know what it would have been. She wanted me to kick it off with. Okay, gentlemen, lean back and loosen your belts for CPK. But I didn’t say. I said ooookay. And when I was saying okay, I was thinking about saying that, and then I didn’t. Why would I loosen my belt for CPK? That’s kind of the joke. Cause it’s another acronym, bro. Yeah. Mushroom, pepperoni, sausage, pizza, and… lemonade, all for $6.99. I assume you could say you just wanted pepperoni if you were one of those children. Adults. But I am impressed that there’s three. This is a pizza place? Yeah. Yeah, it’s a pizza place. Oh, another pizza place. Oh! That was a throwback. BJ’s is a pizza place. This is going well… This is a good pizza. I think the pizza is better than the cheesy dish. Even though the… The cheese sticks themselves are quite memorable. They’re very good. I don’t know. This pizza might be the best tasting individual item up here. I am impressed with it. I will point out it is individual because it does not come with a side. You have to pay extra to get a side. But you could have gotten a chicken breast dish or a crispy chicken tender dish, and those do include sides, but not the pizza place. At a pizza place?! Not the pizza… Not the pizza. See, they’re trying to get pizza… their pizza is good! Why wouldn’t a kid want a pizza?! I think the pizza’s really, really good. Yeah. You know, we make a mistake of giving kids too many options, and sometimes you want just a little pizza. Well, yeah. I will remind you, this is, like, about what you want as adults. If you… still… yeah. Cause here’s the thing. This is a smaller version of something I might get anyway. You know what I’m saying? I’m not a child. I’m not gonna get chicken nuggets at a restaurant. You’re right. You’re right. You’re right. You’re right, man. You’re right. I’m sorry. You’re right. I’m gonna tell you right now. You’re right! You know what? There’s only a couple more days until this year’s Good Mythical Evening. Join us this Friday, October 25, for this year’s Good Mythical Evening that we’re calling sexy, scary, stupid, because it’ll be sexier, scarier, and stupider than any G.M.M. that’s come before. Is that possible? Buy a ticket and find out. yes. Hey, one of our favorite nights of the year. And y’all seem to love it, so we’re doing it again. Get those tickets at goodmythicalevening.com and join us for. Okay, boys, lean back and loosen your belts. It’s time for Red Robin. I thought you’d say a little r and r. Yeah a little red robin to keep the acronyms going. This is Red’s cheeseburger with a side of steak. Fries for $6.99. For your drink, we chose an orange juice. Okay?.. Orange juice is a health myth. Don’t get him started. It’s one of the worst things you can drink. You should have a beer before you have an orange juice. Kids. I’d like to upgrade my kids meal to a beer! Kids you shouldn’t. And when I say beer, I mean root beer. RB is what we call it. I use acronyms. So you go to Red Robin, a place where they pride themselves on delectably large and creative burgers, and yet they serve you a school lunch burger for the children. This is. This is. This is sad. Their fries are nice. School lunch burger. You’re trying to. Trying to distract me with your pickles. You don’t like pickles?! And your toasted bun. Where are you sourcing your meat from, Robin? It’s not a bad burger, but it’s not as good as the big ones. If I’m gonna eat in the red robin and I order this, I’m gonna be really disappointed seeing everybody else. So what’s the alternative? Eating on the red robin? Well, taking it to go. Oh, okay. Yeah. You thought you’d have me, huh? Wash it down with some orange juice. As you can tell, I’m not happy about this. I thought this was gonna be really good. But it is not. Nope. It’s disappointing. And I think it’s going at the bottom. You can’t be serious that it tastes this bad. Don’t do that to children or adults acting like children. Have you ever done this by a show of hands? Done what? Eating a kid’s meal as an adult? No. My in laws do it. They have the senior meals. They do it all the time. They have the senior meals as well, which is basically just like kids meals. I think they want the toys. And finally, you’re finishing up today with a junior chicken and waffles from IHOP for $9.99. No drink included. So. you know, you were talking all that ish about the orange juice, but now you don’t have it at all. So you see what happens when you do that? Yeah, it’s fine. Okay, well, I was telling you not to cut it because I just feel like… it feels finger food. You know, because you got this and you dip. Oh, this is like a. This is like a party. Did you say something about fingering? I did. That’s a low blow, Stevie. Fingering at the IHOP! Okay, Why you doing that? Why you begging for him to continue with it? Chicken fingering, man. What are you talking about? Who do you think I am? Oh, wow. This is spongy, crusty. You wanna dip it? Mm hmm… I sure wouldn’t love some milk with it though. That chicken is good. I mean, if I was ordering there, could I order milk with it? If you wanted to pay more money for it. Yeah. I don’t know. I don’t know. What about that?.. What about if we hadn’t talked ish about the orange juice? Will we have milk right now? Maybe I don’t know… that’s what you implied. You actually wouldn’t be eating this in the IHOP because they have a strict twelve and under rule for this particular meal. So don’t try it. I can pass. But if he doesn’t want it, then I’m gonna eat it. Daddy’s gonna clean up. If who doesn’t want it? My son. The twelve year old. Less than twelve year old. My son, Robert plant. Over here. Bobby is what they call me. Bob. Bob plant. Bobby plant. Okay, Link, this is the best thing I’ve had. This is the best thing we’ve today. I mean, I think by a significant long shot, they didn’t think, I didn’t think. I didn’t think they could do this. it’s really good. Okay, but here’s the thing. You can put it at one for now. But… we do have the winner from the last time we did this. It’s Olive Garden’s kids grilled chicken with rotini, pasta and marinara, plus a side of grapes and milk for $9.99 Oh, okay! Oh, that’s what the milk was over there for! I thought I was being a cliche. Can I have that? Can you give me your fork since you took mine? So is the winner from last time better than… IHOP? I mean, look at this. This is a whole meal! What’s the price on these grapes? It’s $9.99. And IHOP is also $9.99. And remember, too, when you’re taking this into consideration about food portion and what would be good for you as an adult. Yeah, it’s a little bit basic, but it’s big. And I don’t like, I don’t like grapes being on my italian plate. but… If it’s the same price as what we’re eating from, IHOP think that chicken is solid. It’s rocking my world. Grapes… The grapes are good too. Good gracious. And milk. This is a tough decision… Mm hmm. All right, let’s put this in number one still… That’s what I feel. Give me a second. Yeah. It’s the best. I can’t believe they’re willing to do it. We did not. We did not top it. So it’s topping it. But IHOP’s good. It’s real good, but it’s not as good as OG. Olive Garden is an acronym. Yep. That’s right. Take it from us. Thanks for subscribing and clicking that bell. You know what time it is? Hi, red and link. My name is Victoria from the Bay Area. It’s my 23rd birthday and my first day of grad school, and it’s time to spin the wheel of Mythicality. Congratulations! Do it, Slayer. Whatever. I told her to slay. Click the top link to watch us. Guess what Pikmin do in Good Mythical More. And to find out where the wheel of Mythicality is gonna land. Good Mythical Evening is almost here. Join us this Friday for the night you’ve been waiting for! Tickets available now at goodmythicalevening.com.