Which chain restaurant makes the best burger? Let’s talk about that. Good Mythical Morning, and welcome to season 28. That’s the two and an eight. Wow. Wow. We’ve, we’ve had a lot of seasons. Yeah, we have. This is just the latest one. We’re well seasoned. And we have a literal butt load of awesome stuff planned for this season and today. We begin with deciding the best sit down chain restaurant burger. So I hope you’re sitting down because we’re gonna be ranking these burgers on a scale of not very good, which is hamburger helpless, bunremarkable Medium well Lettuce rejoice Grilly grilly good. It feels like. They’re a little bit more negative. I don’t know this one. – Medium well, medium well. – You didn’t make it… Well, it’s in the middle. In the middle. Maybe a little. Yeah, it’s in the middle. Okay. Okay, boys, up first. We have Applebee’s classic cheeseburger for $13.99. Can’t say that I’ve ever, ever, ever had a burger from Applebee’s I’m so glad I’m here for this. And it’s a, it’s your neighborhood grill. I’ve had a quesadilla burger. They have that. Oh, that’s temping. I mean, look at that. It’s a nice piece of meat. I mean, you know, it’s a nice big piece. Chain burgers Do the meat bigger than, you know, like not chain sit down places because you gotta be sitting down and get a big burger. If you try that standing up or in your car, you run into trouble. Hmm. Tastes like the burger that my nana used to make in a skillet. Huh? Skillet fried burger. That seems like a compliment. Yeah, it is. Potato bun, they’re sliding around on me. There’s just so much to get at Applebee’s that this is not the thing I ever got. I was a, a rib blast guy. Oh, rib lit? Rib, yeah, rib blasket. Rib blasket? Mm-hmm. Oh, you shortened it. In my mind, that’s what it was called, but it was… Look at that boy blasting those ribs. Um, I’d say it’s, it’s pretty okay. I mean, the meat is taste. The, the meat tastes pretty good. The bun, it sounds like. Well, the bun is a little bit hard. You know what I’m saying? Yeah, I’m not gonna hold that against it too much. The ingredients seem pretty fresh. It, it has a neighborhood burger kind of a feel, which is true to their nomenclature. I don’t know what you mean by that, but like a local like, like a local burger. Okay. Okay. All right. I don’t know what you said either on there. Me neither. The next part. Don’t make me repeat something ’cause it only gets worse. I don’t know… Oh, it makes sense to Link and, uh, I’m not disagreeing. What a great start of the season. I just don’t know how to agree. Season 28, you have those two numbers together. You get 10. That’s right. Link Up next, we have Red Robins. Keep it simple. Burger with American Cheese added for the sake of consistency for 1648, Red Robin was the place. As I was a newlywed. Huh? That I discovered as a more expensive burger. And you sit down and, but it’s just for the burger. And they, and some people put an egg on it. They, and they want you to put an egg on it. Some people put an egg on it. They want, the menu was designed to get an egg on everything. We remember. I don’t know if we actually were there for it, but I feel like, I remember when Red Robin was invented. – Like, I don’t feel like we… – That’s what I feel like. I got married. – it was a new thing – And then there was Red Robin. You’re like, all right, Link and Rhett are both now married. We can begin our business. We’re talking 2001. Uh, it was founded in 1969 in Seattle. Mm-hmm. It takes a while. If we get get to the East coast, can I tell you to one. I said the thing about American cheese, which we didn’t really acknowledge with the Applebee’s situation, but, and for anyone who doesn’t wanna hear this part, I’m about to say something about calories. So here’s your warning. Okay. Fair Note. Note: It says it has less than half of the calories than the Applebee’s burger. I don’t know how that’s possible. Someone might be calculating calories wrong on their menu. Yeah, but it has, that’s what it is I’m telling you, because they’re, I’m telling you right now. These calorie numbers are wrong. Anyway, your enter them into your little app think you got, you’re keeping up with stuff. Really. You’re probably wrong. I didn’t think I was gonna say this. This doesn’t seem like it’s from the neighborhood. No. Now, again, I don’t know what that means, but it’s not as good as the Applebee’s burger. Applebee’s is dramatically way better. Yes. Did you think that this was gonna happen? No. I assumed it would be good because, you know… – Because of the egg! – We both got married. Yeah. Marriage. It’s the burger itself. What happened? Doesn’t, it’s not, it’s not seasoned. There’s no flavor. It’s unseasoned. Okay. See, so maybe the calorie thing does make sense. Maybe they’re using a different type of beef. The calorie-less beef. Yeah. Well, you know, the… I don’t know. Um, Rhett just said all calories are made up, so, – Well, I’m just saying. – We are independently agreeing that this is where we want to be. Yep. Mythical beast, Step right up. Rhett and Link’s, Mythical Land coloring book is officially here. Yes, yes. Now listen. We had a coloring book, or we already have a coloring book, and you guys wanted, like that one so much that we were gonna give you another one, and we are giving you another one. This is it from the crapa coaster to the Ferris wheel of Mythicality Mythical land is open for your amusement. Look at this thing now you can get the… The very nicely packaged, so nicely packaged. I have to, I have to, I don’t have fingernails. I can’t even, you might not even be able to get into it. It’s really, that’s how begging to be colorized, but it’s, I can’t get into this one, but if I were, if I had scissors and I did it very carefully and I just was like, I don’t wanna put any damage on it. And who’s gonna kind of just do the corner like that and get underneath it? Look at that. And then are you, what are you doing? A coloring book unboxing? Yeah. Yeah. I know. Look at I did it. I did it. How satisfying is that? Okay. You can also add on the mythical colored pencils if you like, that kind of thing. Some people are a crayon people, you know who you are. I recommend the pencils. Uh, but listen, to celebrate this, we’re, we’re having a coloring contest. So what you’re gonna do is you’re gonna pick a page from your coloring book, you color it your way, and you upload a photo of your finished masterpiece at mythical.com/coloringcontest for a chance to win free merch for a year. That’s a hundred dollars gift card every month for a whole year to spend at mythical.com. That’s wild, dude. Now the contest ends October 7th, 2025. US residents 18 and older judged on creativity and skill, no purchase necessary. See the official rules? Why don’t you. Nice. – Up next. – That’s a killer design Lots of fun and relaxation is Chili’s, old timer with cheese for $14.29. Old timer. Now, how do you feel about Chili’s? Old timer. I like chilies. I like chilies too. I have a positive. Chili’s is like the target of of those kinds of places. Chain restaurants. Yes. I was thinking the same thing. So I thought that this one’s gonna win. They all look the, the same. I’m just telling. I mean, this is exactly, you know… Applebee’s and Chili’s My nana, they all run in the same circles. I mean, she’s not doing as much running Hopefully she’s not running in circles. A lot of mustard. No mustard on the other two. Huh? This is like a fat burger, which is a chain out here. I like that though. Well, they’re doing the old timer thing, you know, back in the old days when they used to just put mustard on things before ketchup. Yeah, there’s no ketchup. There’s no mayo. I’ll tell you right now, it’s better than Red Robin. Oh yeah. Because the burger has some flavor to it. I still like the Applebee’s better. I think I do too, but I feel like I need to. It’s, it’s too mustardy. You gonna taste it again? I’m gonna have to taste it a third time. Now there, there’s no… Applebee’s is better. There’s no ketchup or mayonnaise on the Applebee’s either. The meat on the Applebee’s burger is better, and that’s, you know, a big part of a burger. But the Chili’s burger is like a third larger, but if it don’t taste better, I don’t care how big it is. Yeah, I mean, right now we’ve got two open spots at the top. We’re co-principals here. That’s right. Next up is the Cheesecake Factory’s Classic Burger with American Cheese added for $21.45. Well, first of all, it’s over $21. Second of all, it’s got sesame seed. Third of all… Yep. It has a giant slice of onion on the bottom. Look at that thing. And just a, a bed of cheese just hanging over. Well, the cheese is, was on the top. So much cheese that it just. Kind of clumped right there, which is amazing. Okay, I am going in. Lemme get some of that big onion. The meat has a very grilled taste to it. Okay. Yeah, this is not easy at this point. This is a good burger. In fact. It’s a lot more cheese than Applebee’s, I think. I think the first bite, it’s better than Applebee’s. Yeah. Take a second bite if you want to. – So we’re… – Yeah, it’s better. Consistently, no ketchup or mayo across the board except for that mustard experience we just escaped. The meat is a softer pack. You know what I’m saying? You know how you’re not supposed to like… It’s got more air in there. It’s like somebody, it’s like your nana. It’s like your nana took her… Does she wash her hands? Hm. She doesn’t need to. They’re always clean. Your nana took her dirt — Oh, clean naturally. Always clean hands, naturally, always clean. And just smack that patty up into a nice patty. And she didn’t squeeze it too hard. Not because she still doesn’t have amazing grip strength for her age, which is a sign of how – good she’s doing. – Longevity, yeah. Um, it’s just because she knows that you don’t wanna over pack a patty. And she left it just like this and she threw some sesame seeds. You ever do sesame seeds? She keeps ’em in her pocket. She keeps ’em in her pocket. Just, just to like, just to dance around people in celebration. Oh, so she like, it’s like a pixie dust. Yeah. Moments of celebration. Your nana throws. Sesame seeds in the air. Yeah. I can’t believe I’ve never seen her do that, but this is better. So much better. Let us rejoice. We are rejoicing that we found one better than Applebee’s. Yeah, I was hoping we would. Would that, should that have been hard? It’s harder than I thought it would be. Over on the Mythical Society, we’ve got a very special, special that I’m especially excited about because I brought my daughter Lily in to train to potentially appear in the future on a reality competition show, which the lawyer said I can’t name, but it starts with an S and it’s all about survival. Okay? Yep. Mm-hmm. You know, they put you on an island. Mm-hmm. And you’re, but you’re not naked, singled out. If, if it was, if it was naked, I wouldn’t be inviting my daughter in here to do it. ’cause that would be weird. Right? This, this is the survival one where you’re not naked, staying alive and stranded. Solo on an island. That’s none of those. Okay. All right. Well, um, and it’s awesome. But so what we did was also awesome. We did three different things. We got three different episodes over on this society. We did a nasty food challenge. We did a fire making challenge, and we did a. Maddening puzzle challenge. Oh. To see if, um, if we have what it takes to do it for real. So check out episode one on the Mythical Society right now. MythicalSociety.com. Hmm. Finally, we have Outback Steakhouses, Outback Burger with American Cheese for $17.98. Bottom bun is so soggy. ’cause of the tomatoes. Sorry. Tomatoes. I have never ordered a burger from Outback. Who would do that? Who would, but the fact that they have one Maybe it’s good. It seems like it’s gonna be good. I mean, their steaks are good, their ribs are good, their chicken is good. I’ve just never gotten to the burger. But it’s a whole section in the menu and I did look at it. Try it, my friend. That’s another level. Cheesecake Factory and Outback, they are another level. Interesting. They’re doing exactly what. Who is this? Chili’s? Chili’s tried to do, it’s a diced mustard, lettuce, and onion. It’s more like a Carolina style without the chili. Yeah, I like it. It’s, it’s very good. Um, I’m trying to see if it’s better than… – Cheesecake? – Cheesecake. We got some dramatic pauses happening today. New season. Revving the brain back up. But we look so rested. We are rested. And man, did I tell you I got arrested? Well, I went to Ireland. I almost got arrested. Well, if I was, if I got caught, I would’ve been arrested. I’ll put it to you that way, but I wasn’t. What’d you do? Ran over a leprechaun? Don’t even say it. I can say it. Don’t even say it. I can say it. I can make fun of my people. My people too. Our people. The roads are too narrow. I’ll leave it at that. Um, this is not, it’s not super obvious, but when I go back, I put it in the middle. Okay. Were you, were you about to what? Let me have it or something. Well, he is charging up. Well, I just wanted to know if we were on the same page. Oh, okay. Are we on the same page? There one is better than the other. Not way better. Yeah, but better or better? Yeah. This one? No, that other one. Oh no. Oopsy daisy. Well, it’s the mustard. Let me eat it without the mustard. – Well, because I would just say… – You could order… the way how we do this. What if we do this? I would just say, no mustard. Take the, take the mustardy part off and just eat the meat and the cheese and the bun. That’s what I’m doing. Oh, the meat is so good on that. But this one, it tastes like a steak. I’m getting rid of that. Both of these are head and shoulders above the rest, but I agree what you’re saying. Customize it to your liking and also get some of those, um, onion tulips, blooming onion. Not a sponsor, but I will say right now that definitively. It took a little arm twisting and a little less mustard. But we have determined that the best burger that you can eat while sitting down while in chains is Outback Burger. Yes. Yes. Deal. Done. We did it, eh? Oh God. Thank you for commenting and sharing this video. You know what time it is. Hi, I’m Crystal, Emily, Ethan, Alana, Andrew, and we’re doing a mythical taste testing party. And it’s time, time to spin the wheel of mythicality Yeah. Was that free taste or post tastes? I think, I don’t know. Think energy levels were kind of post tastes. Uh, you wanna give some unsolicited advice? Yes. Okay. Uh, Hailey, we know you’re watching and we know that you’re thinking about moving to Portland and we are here to tell you, no, you shouldn’t, don’t, don’t do it. You shouldn’t do it. Don’t, don’t do it. And it’s not because there’s anything wrong with Portland, to me it’s just because of we know something that might happen if you move there. And we think you know what it is too. And we think you definitely shouldn’t be doing that kind of thing. Yeah. With ports, you know what I’m saying? Click the top link to watch us judge the mythical crew’s Coloring in Good, Mythical More. Watch Link versus Lily. Last one. Standing episode one’s out now at mythicalsociety.com.