YouTube Video ID: xAZfbd6iORI
Episode Post Date: March 30, 2026
GMM Episode Number: 3011
Transcript
We're trying the least ordered fast food menu items. Let's talk about that. Good Mythical Morning. And, happy celibacy week. Yes, that's right. It's back, celibacy week, yes, you can applaud, has returned and as always, this is what this is about. Okay. We are asking you to withhold from relations, okay. For one week. Only, so as not to plague your future children with the dreaded winter holiday birthday. Okay. Yep. Knocking boots now will only lead to a depressed baby nine months from now. I am so passionate about not being passionate this week. Yes. The world you're bringing a baby into is hard enough as it is. Oh, God. Why add to that struggle with a birthday overshadowed by holidays? That's why all this week we will be showing classic GMM moments featuring me at my least sexy. He volunteered for this. These clips were extremely difficult to come by. Mm-hmm. But I am willing to make this sacrifice in order to prevent your horniness. Alright, let's roll that anti aphrodisiac footage. Can you eat a butter finger? Better than you. Oh, okay. Why? Now, I don't know if that was uh. Do it. On repeat or if it really lasted that long. It for emphasis, uh. I believe it lasted that long. It did. But you don't have to worry about how long you'll last. Because you won't even start. That's right. Can't finish if you don't start. Alright. Fast food. It's popular, but what about the fast food items that aren't popular? Okay. That never get ordered. Huh? Don't they deserve a moment in the sun? A little episode of GMM. Well, yes they do. 'cause today we're going to taste some of those menu misfits and then decide if any of them deserve to be part of your fast food repertoire. Now, how do we get this information? Well, it isn't by going on a website somewhere. Nope. Because these brands aren't necessarily advertising what doesn't sell the best. Nope. So we have crew make some phone calls to various fast food restaurants. Ask the people who are on the front lines what's selling, what's not selling. They're looking at cash registers and that kind of thing. And that's how we get this information. And Link is allergic to the process. Yeah. And they may or may not have had to say that they were, um. Doing a school project. School project. But hey, listen, this is, we're, we're all learning around here constantly. How we gonna rank it, Rhett? So we're gonna rank it, uh, from bad, which is Big Wack to Flame Broiled Flopper to Super Sighs Me to Greasy To Swallow. It's like easy to swallow, greasy to swallow. All right. I'll Have the Number One, which is the best. The best of the least ordered. I'm excited about uncovering something that we forgot to order. Up first, the least ordered menu from Arby's, the Chicken Cordon Bleu. Now this thing was first introduced back in 1994, uh, and then Arby's took ham off of the menu in 2021. What? And I believe that, as a ham man, you probably already knew that. Well, yeah, I haven't gone in a while. I guess that I, I could trace it back to that. And then last year they brought ham back, and with ham came the Chicken Cordon Bleu sandwich. Look at that. I, the way that I've done it, you can see the, you can see the outside and inside at the same time. This is a revolution in Good Mythical tasting. How could this not be good? I mean, it's got ham, it's got the, the fried chicken, it's got some sauce, some cheese. A lot of mayo happening in that. The ham is very smoky. Smoked ham. Which is nice. The chicken leaves a little to be desired, like basically other chicken. I desire better chicken sandwiches and I could come up with a few. There's so much, there's so many good chicken sandwiches now. And they make the chicken better. They don't just add ham to the top, but. I mean. The ham is good and it's almost making up for the, the, the fact that the chicken is underwhelming. I mean, I don't think it is bad. How much does it cost? Is it that expensive? I don't have access to that information. Uh, but I think it might cost just as much as like another sandwich at Arby's. Yeah, I don't think. That's a good one. I don't really think that's how most people, they're like, I mean, at Arby's, it is more like, how much do I want to eat right now. Unless it's on the dollar menu or something. Um, okay, well. I feel like it could be worse and I feel like it could be better. What do you say we put it at three. Neal. I would, if I was at the Arby's, I'd think about getting it. And then, and then what'd you do? I'd remember this moment. What'd you do after that, after you thought about it? Well, I, I'd get curly fries. Of course. Then I would, I think I would get it. You think you'd get it? I don't really have a go-to at Arby's. So, maybe it moves up to two in another round. And you don't like the roast beef, so there you go. Nope. I'm a ham man. Next from Panda Express, we have eggplant tofu. I haven't noticed this before, I will say that. I probably have just looked right past it. Haven't been looking for that. Uh, this expanded to all 2000 locations in early 2019 when Panda Express made their eggplant tofu dish vegan by removing the chicken broth and animal based seasonings. What is animal based seasonings? Like, like, uh, cow salt? What? So this. What are we talking about? I don't know. Yeah, cow. Is it like a, it's a salt, lick that a cow's been licking. It's cow salt. Yeah. And you turn it into salt. So this is a eggplant slice. Does it have purple on one side? Uh, it has the skin on it, yeah. I think you're, you might have one. That is it. And then the. And then the tofu. The tofu. And then a little pepper. And then a little pepper. I'm not even going for the, for the rice. The only definitive animal based seasoning I can see is chicken broth. Okay. They eliminated chicken broth. And chicken broth. We're using the golden forks. Yeah. I put in a special request for you today. Because you're making this sacrifice by letting people see us unsexy footage of you. I said, give the man. Thank you. A golden fork. Thank you. But also give me one. Does this mean we won something? I, uh, you know, I've never had eggplant until summer of 1998. Okay. Uh, I was in New York City. Queens to be exact. And there was a place, Tony's Pizzeria. They put it on the pizza. And they had fried eggplant as one of the things that you could get on your pizza by the slice. $1 slice. Did you like? And I tried it and I liked it, and I had a bunch of it that year. Just a little anecdote about my life. You're not hankering to go back to that time in your life. Well. And does this take you there? It made me realize that you can make eggplant taste like a lot of different things. If you fry it. Especially if you fry it. That's the same thing with tofu. Tofu in and of itself, it d, it's like kind of tasteless. It's just a, it's a texture to hold other flavor. I can't imagine. So two for two in terms of. Yeah. Tastelessness. I can't imagine someone getting this and it being the only thing that they got, and being happy. Yeah. The rest of the day. Yeah. It's gonna be hard to be happy. I mean, this might go to five and I, I don't wanna do that to the vegans out there. So we're gonna put it at four for now. Okay. It's not actively bad, it's just not good in any way. It's not gonna make me smile, even while I eat it with a golden fork. Quick reminder, and a special invitation. Mythical Society is waiting for you. And the new version, fresh new look, whole new vibe is over there at MythicalSociety.com. This is where you get more access to us. Things that we want to film and share with dedicated fans, we only put over there. I'm talking about new vlogs. We also have exclusively, exclusive collectives. Exclusively. Um, and all kinds of surprises. If you're a Mythical Beast looking for a community to share in all things Mythical, this is for you. Unlock access, you can't get anywhere else. MythicalSociety.com. Let's get curious together. Okay, uh, now we're gonna have the Burger King Big Fish Sandwich. Now let me give you a little history on this. Can we, let's look at it before you go into history mode, a little bit of a flip and a little bit of a turn gives us the front and the back of the sandwich. Why is this so dark. At once, it's a dark filet, isn't it? It's so dark. Now this thing was originally launched in 1975 to guess what? Compete with the Filet O Fish at Mickey D's. But of course. And then it was reformulated in 1978 as the Long Fish Sandwich, and then it was changed again in 1990 to the Ocean Catch Fish Filet. In 2002, it was renamed the BK Big Fish. In 2015, it became just the BK Fish, or, Premium Alaskan Fish Sandwich, I guess whatever market you were in. But now, it is back to being sold as the BK Big Fish. And famously, it was subject in a recent Reddit thread entitled The Big Fish Is Ass. That's true. That is true. Would we lie to you? You got a nice butter bun. You've got a dark filet. It's not too long. I don't know why they called it the long fish. Maybe it had the same dimensions as the um, the Burger King Chicken. And I don't know if the fish was long or the sandwich was long, is what I'm saying. No cheese. I don't expect cheese except. Lettuce. That the filet of fish has half a slice of cheese on it. Hmm. I think I would add cheese. It doesn't taste burnt, it looks burnt. Tartar sauce is good. Hmm. Which is flaky. How, how does it compare to the Filet O Fish? I think it's about the same. About the same. I think the fish is a little shallower. You think that. It's not as thoughtful? You think there's a, uh, are you saying that the fish is a, a species that swims in shallower waters? No, I mean, the depth of the, of the filet. You would call that the thickness? I wouldn't say it's as thick. It's swimming a little shallow. If I isolate it, it still tastes good. I mean, I don't know. I don't have a Filet O Fish here to compare it to. Not, not bad at all. Very salty. Very salty. Like this, like the ocean that it came wince. I feel like it might be better than the, than the Chicken Cordon Bleu. 'cause I mean it is a fish sandwich. Need to get that every once in awhile. Overcoming the fishiness. But if I'm gonna order a fish sandwich. You go to Long John Silvers. I mean, if I'm at a Burger King. Never seen you there. Yeah. I mean, inside. I've seen you drive through. You wouldn't, you wouldn't see me inside because I keep it secret from you. We keep, we both keep our, our Burger King runs secret, secret from each other. That's true. Um, I don't know, dude, this is just, this is better tasting than the fish. Hmm, you're right. Switcharooney. And this doesn't need cheese, so. It doesn't even want cheese. Get that whaler long fish sandwich thingy with cheese. But we're putting it at threes. The least ordered menu item from Papa John's is the Fresh Spinach and Tomato Alfredo Pizza. Fresh spinach and tomato Alfredo. Pizza. Tomato, Alfredo. Tomato, Alfredo. Tomato and Alfredo. Fresh spinach and tomato. Alfredo. Dot, dot, dot alfredo pizza. Okay. This is an absolute nightmare for me. I mean, I'm okay with... well, you like spinach. Spinach, man, like. You don't like tomatoes. But there is also no tomato sauce on this. There's, they're going with just the cheese and I guess Alfredo. Yes. Yeah, the, the white sauce. Not a lot of reviews out there. So few people order this thing, they don't even wanna talk about it. Oh God. Why? Oh my God. You know how spinach, you know how broccoli stinks when you cook it? This tastes like stink, broccoli stink. Like I know spinach stink I didn't think was as bad as broccoli. If, I think stink, the stink is coming from somewhere else. I mean, I think I'm gonna have to start a new thread called the Fresh Spinach and Tomato Alfredo Pizza is ass, just to double up on the other one. The BK Fish one. God, this is so bad. It'll be my, it'll be my second Reddit post ever. Right after long grapes. Yeah. I'm famous for the long grapes post. Mm-hmm. You may have heard about it. Yeah. Once you started promoting it. This is so ass. This is. I'm just, I don't, you know, I'm sorry. That's my first comment. The thing that makes Papa John's pizza tastes like Papa John's pizza is the tomato sauce. And it doesn't have that. And I actually don't even really like that, that sauce anymore, but. This may be one of the worst pizzas I've ever tried. And yeah, I don't like the things on it, but. Um. That's a good reason. It's amazing that that much can go wrong with a pizza. Good gosh, that's. It's worse than eggplant. Oh, absolutely. It is so much worse than that. It's Big Wack. I forgot that was written down there and I just thought you were riffing on something dumb. Okay, last and maybe least, uh, we have the least ordered menu item off of the Jersey Mike's menu. This is the number two AKA Jersey Shore's Favorite. That's what they call it. It is provolone, provolone, ham, and cappacuolo. My favorite thing about Jersey Mike's, of course, we love Jersey Mike's. We do. Big fan. One of my favorite things is, if I'm full, but I still have more sub, you can remove the bottom part effortlessly. And throw it out your window. And, and you don't have to eat that. You throw it right out your sunroof. And then you turn and you just eat it like that. I just, if you don't want more bread at the end. Right, and you can only do that at Jersey Mike's. But you can't do that with the other side because Mike's way has gotten all deep in there. So you're telling me that the number two is the least po, how is this possible? What are we missing? That's what they said, but. Let's try it. It's just a simple, just a simple sandwich. No turkey, no bacon. What? What's this cappacuolo stuff? That's my, I think it's a, well, it's a pink meat 'cause they're all pink. Oh, look at that. So there it is. Isn't that different than the ham? Yeah. A little bit darker. Comes in a circle. There it is. Is that it? Mm-hmm. Does it taste really different? Oh yeah. It's got like a. Aromatic. It's, it's spiced. Uhhuh. It's aromatically spiced. Here's my theory, people don't get this because they don't know what that is. It's, it's quite spicy. It's not bad, but again. It's not hot spicy. It's like Italian spice, spicy. Kind of nice. You get up there and you're like, I'm not gonna ask this teen what, I can't even say it. Uhhuh. I'm afraid to say it. I'm afraid to ask a teen what it is. I am just gonna go on about my business and get a different number. That's the only reason that this is ordered not that much. Because it's not the taste. The ham's good, too. Taste is fine. I still prefer the number eight, the Club Sub. That's my jam. I like a hot sub. Yeah, my, my family likes the hot subs there. Oh, and you consider me your family. This is, I was just adding to the conversation. Oh, okay, well. I wasn't adopting you. I take it back. Um. But it's, it's not. It's not bad. It's, but it's also not amazing. Oh, whoop, whoop. I don't think, I don't think it can go at number one. I don't feel great about that. You think that this Chicken Cordon Bleu is better? It's not that it's better, it's that, at least they're taking a swing. This doesn't need to be number one because it's just a boring version. It's a sub. Of something that they've had, so I'm not, I'm not gonna give it number one. And we. And it also has ham on it. I can't even remember what this is 'cause it's so obliterated. It's a BK Big Fish, man. Long Fish Sandwich, formerly. I mean I do think you should try this once maybe. Already did. Get some capa, cappacuoco? Um, get some "Kaley Cappacuoco." And then, um, you got a good night. So I guess what we're saying. The official position of this show is that the best worst selling item, currently on the fast food chains around Los Angeles, is the Arby's Chicken Cordon Bleu sandwich. And we stand by that because the ham is smoky. Thanks for commenting. And it is ham. Thanks for commenting. Thanks for commenting. And sharing this video. And sharing this video. You know what time it is. I'm John. This is Nico. We're from Perth, Western Australia. He was born two hours before Christmas. I fell behind on my GMM episodes around celibacy week. Sorry buddy. It's time to spin the Wheel of Mythicality. Don't be like John. And John, don't do that again, ever. I thought he was gonna say born two hours ago, but he said two hours before something. Yeah. Maybe he's aged well. Okay, come back tomorrow for a very special episode. We try every nipple. Click the top link to watch us try McDonald's' Big Arch in Good Mythical More. You think we just live behind this desk? We have lives. Complex, sophisticated lives. Okay. You see. Unlock the most access to us ever. Only at MythicalSociety.com.