Why buy 100 human brains when you can just steal ’em for freeee! Let’s talk about that. ♪ (theme music) ♪ Good Mythical Morning! Now, I’ve never stolen anything unless taking a battery back to Walmart and exchanging it with a different battery that happens to be the same exact price and not telling anybody about it is stealing. Debatable. I have stolen a handful of seeds, as a kid. My granddad made me return them. – They were never planted. – (Rhett snickers) A handful of seeds. Today, we have done– (booping like radio tower)– some research in order to bring to you the most bizarre things ever stolen, starting with quite a caper. In 2014, a truck driver for Dixie River Freight– – You’ve heard of ’em. – Ol’ Dixie River Freight. My favorite freight company. Decided he needed a little extra cash. He thought to himself, “Self, look at me just rollin’ down this highway at high speeds, and here I am, needin’ some extra cash when I’ve got a load of $80,000 worth of product chasin’ my bee-hind in my tractor trailer.” Oh, yeah, you got it already. I got it, self, I know what I can do. So he pulls over, into a truck stop, and decides to text the owner of the contents of the truck. What are the contents? – 35,000 pounds of raw chicken. – Ooh, like pure gold. $80,000 worth of 35,000 pounds of raw chicken. – All right, so– – Do the math on that. He’s textin’– it’s $80,000. There’s no math in that. Well, how much is a pound of chicken? Oh, you wanna do division? I wanna say it’s a little over $2.00, a little over $2.00 a pound. I barely know how to text, man, but I’m gonna text my boss. So he texts his boss and says, “All right… unless you give me money, I’m gonna– I don’t know what. Like, you don’t get your chickens.” (Rhett chuckles) He’s holding raw chicken ransom. – And I wonder, what’s the– – Good plan! What’s the emoticon configuration for a chicken heist, you know? Is it like a chicken, and then a gun, and then a sad face? – And then cash! – And then cash. – Chicken, gun, cash! – Chicken, chicken, gun, cash! – Now! – Got it! – And, of course, the– – That’d be raw chicken, though. – I don’t know what that one is. – His boss replies, “No.” (Rhett laughs) “No, chicken, gun, cash ain’t gonna work this time.” So with absolutely no backup plan, the dude abandons the truck at the truck stop in Montana– and this is what the local newspaper described it as: chicken juice dripped from the container, staining the ground with a gooey red and translucent liquid. The flies had gathered around the juices in the 90° heat and a faint odor of rotting meat wafted into the air. Can you imagine what that looks like? Well, I wonder if he was fired. You know? Uh… I-I think the safe answer is “yes”. The dude didn’t make any money off of this one. Chicken juice! Okay, back in December of last year, the University of Texas at Austin– that is just the University of Texas as far as I’m concerned– realized they were missing 100 human brains! These were not living school administrators who happened to be missing their brain. That’s a funny college joke. (both laugh) – These are actually– – I’m glad you told me that was funny so I could laugh. These are actually, like, brains in jars in formaldehyde in a lab. Yeah, yeah, I’ve seen those. – I haven’t seen 100 of ’em. – Here’s the interesting thing: they just realized they were missing. It wasn’t like one day they showed up and were like, “The brains are gone.” They were like, “Uh, the brains are gone, but we don’t really know when they were gone.” Or how long they’ve been gone? Or how long they’ve been gone. They had ’em for 30 years, and now they don’t have ’em anymore. They weren’t watching them too closely, apparently. But the university officials do have some theories. They say that maybe some students have been stealing them and using them for Halloween decorations. Oh, like slowly siphoning them off over time? Yeah, but they’re all gone. But maybe that’s what happened. Or they just misplaced them. I can see that as a Halloween decoration. – But I am– – How do you misplace 100 brains? I don’t know. It’s a big university, man. (pompously) Austin! It’s big– everything’s big in Texas. The labs are so big you can’t keep up with the brains. (Link laughs) 100 brains, yeah. But I feel so horrible about this, personally, that I just feel like we’ve got some influence on this show and I feel like we should take a moment to our part to get these brains back. Okay. Hello, if you’re one of the people– or persons– who took one or up to 100 brains from the University of Texas, just bring ’em back. Listen, you can– they don’t even keep up. They don’t even know where they’re at. They didn’t know you took ’em in the first place. You want to use ’em for Halloween decorations? Sure, that’s a great idea. That’s cool. – “Is that a fake brain, George?” – “No, that’s a real brain. I got it from the University of Texas at Austin.” (breathes audibly) – That’s a completely okay thing. – Hey! Just return the brains and then take them whenever you want to. They don’t watch them closely enough to care. Will you please just bring the brains back? – Do your part and bring a brain– – Bring the brains back! – (Rhett) I was gonna do this alone. – (Link) Oh, sorry. – Okay. – (Link) I thought I was making it better. Bring the brains back. I can feel the brains coming back right now. I felt hearts melting among thieves. Did you feel brains moving? And I felt brains moving. It was happening. What about this? Stealing an entire beach. It happened, guys. 2008, thieves stole 500 truckloads of white sand from Coral Spring Beach in Jamaica. Oh, that’s a good beach. – They were building a resort there– – It was a good beach. But they took the beach away. How do you not notice 500 truckloads of sand being taken away? I don’t know if it happened overnight. That’s impossible. – (Link) It happened over time. – (Rhett) And Jamaica’s a great place. You get distracted. – And here’s the interesting thing– – Drinking Mai Tais. – Right, and Red Stripes. – Yes, right. – That’s what they do, mon. – Yes, mon. But here’s the interesting thing; it’s a common occurrence for beaches to be stolen because high quality sand is what the resorts want. So they think that another resort got the sand and they have yet to determine who the culprits are. They went so far as the Jamaican prime minister even ordered – forensic detectives– – The Jamaican prime minister – gets in on this?! – He ordered forensic testing of beaches to see where the sand showed up. Still haven’t found out, but it sounds like an episode of CSI in Jamaica. Oh, that’s a good idea. (Jamaican accent) Hey, mon, there’s no sand here anymore, mon. – (Link) Why are all these trucks leaving? – (Rhett) I was drinking my Red Stripe. – Mon, I didn’t notice. – I don’t know. I don’t know who could have been behind this, mon. – I don’t know man. – (gasps) I bet it was the evil Sand Mon. – Heeeeeeey! – (Link laughs) Play some reggae. Please some… stealing reggae music. Oh gosh. How about this, guys? A bridge. – Back in 2008, a 200 ton– – A bridge? A 38 foot long steel bridge disappeared overnight in eastern Russia. In one night, overnight, thieves came and dismantled the bridge for scrap metal. It turns out this was the only way that you could get to a power plant– it was the only route to a power plant, which makes this the best excuse ever for not showing up to work. The bridge is literally gone. But it turns out bridges being stolen is a common thing in Russia. Like beaches in Jamaica? This happens in Russia. (Russian accent) In America, you build steel bridges. In Soviet Russia, we steal built bridges. It sounds like something they’d put on a bumper sticker, and then make one of those awesome dash cam videos! (both laugh) (Link) You know how they love to make those dash cam videos. Greg da Silva of Cape Town, South Africa, was the proud owner of an egg hat. You’re familiar with egg hats. We’re all familiar with egg hats. – It’s just a hat made of eggs. – Yeah, yeah, yeah. – I’ve got one in the back! – Greg’s was very special because it was (dramatically) the world’s largest egg hat. (normally) Over 1,000 eggs on this thing. (Link) I think he was a street performer. He travels around the world. He goes to Halle, Germany, and suffers a heat stroke. Well, first of all, I’ll ignore the fact that the question of how you’d get a thousand egg hat in the overhead compartment of the plane. – Right. – But dude from Africa goes to Germany has a heat stroke? – It doesn’t add up. – In Europe? But it did happen. He woke up in the hospital and was quoted as saying, “I know Germans are very honest people and I am sure someone will hand it in.” I guess that doesn’t apply to the one German who stole the egg hat – because it was never found– – Come on, Germans. It’s been four years. And, you know what, I’d like to do something about this. Oh, really? You would? – Just to take an egg from your hat here. – Oh, okay. Hey, dude. German dude whose got that egg hat for, like, the past four years. Just give Greg his egg hat back. Give Greg back the egg hat. Come on! What are you gonna do with it? It probably stinks by this point. – (Link) You’ve had it for four– – (Rhett) Hey! Hey! – (Link) Four years. – (Rhett) Hey, Greg. I just wanna talk to Greg ’cause Greg’s got a hat. – Hey, man with Greg’s hat– – Yeah, some German dude. – Just give it back. – How-How do you say “hi” in German? – It’s his livelihood. – How do you say “hi” in German? – “Hey.” – Hey! If you went to Germany, that’s probably what you’d say: “Hey.” So, please, just do it. And if you have the brains, bring those back too. Just come clean, man. How do you live with yourself? (Link) Did that work? I really felt like we’ve both done our parts. I mean, the brains are comin’ back, the egg hats are comin’ back from Germany, and the world’s becoming a better place because of Good Mythical Morning. Don’t steal, people. But if you do, give it back. Don’t steal people? Or don’t steal, people? Both! Either. Thanks for liking and commenting on this video. You know what time it is! I’m Michaela from Ontario, Canada, and this is my cat Silky, and it’s time to spin The Wheel of Mythicality. We don’t have egg hats, but we’ve got the Mythical Hat. It’s baaack! You can put eggs on it. – (Link) Whaaaat? – (Rhett) Or in it. It’s available at the RhettandLink.com/store. Also got posters, mugs, t-shirts, bobbleheads, you name it. Click through to Good Mythical More. I got an amazing story of something else that was stolen– a tank. – T-A-N-K. What? – Thanks for spelling that. “In a world of dreams and magic.” (dramatically) In a world in dreams of magic. – What? – In a world OF dreams AND magic. Right. In a world of dreams and magic. One little girl has a dream. (crew chuckle off screen) And that dream leads her to a tunnel lined– With magic! A magic tunnel with magic juice all over inside of the tunnel. And her evil step-mother forces her to clean it. – Yes… – With her… tongue. (disgusted) Ooh! No, no, no, with her shammy. With her shammy. It moves on to the third one. – Goldilocks! – (flutters lips) It said, and starts to [inaudible]. – Did he say “Goldilocks”? – Yeah. – (shrilly) Goldilocks! – Goldilocks!