This episode could save your life. – Let’s talk about that. ♪ (theme music) ♪ Good mythical morning! Before the advent of high powered rifles and bear mace when people had run in with animals they just had to deal with them with their wits and their hands and their legs. But you know every once and a while in the modern era – people still run into animals. – True And Link I have a feeling that you’re not prepared for animal encounters. No. I need to brush up on my animal defense mechanisms. And you might not be either so we’re gonna play a game today to find out how much Link, and you, know about surviving animal attacks. It’s time to play, (Rhett) Who wants to survive an an animal attack-inaire? Okay Link, are you ready? – Yes. – You’re gonna have eight multiple choice questions and if you get five out of eight you are a winner and you win, – Halt! Dog repellent. – Ho, cause if you survive five out of eight attacks, you’re doing pretty good. – I guess. That’s cool. Not a sponsor. – Dog repellent exists and I want that stuff. You also have three life lines. You can use each one once. You have, Ask An Animal. We have an actual animal come out – Ooh! For real? -help you with a question. – A talking animal. We have the Claws of Life, where two answers– two choices will be ripped away – you’ll be left with two choices, one – Ooh. of those will be right. And Howling Hint, in which I will actually howl a hint. – I can’t wait for that. – Are you ready? – Hit me. Steve is walking with his step sister, Karen, through the woods to their grandmother’s house because their parents are vacationing in Pittsburgh. Suddenly, they come upon a 12-foot-tall grizzly bear. Karen immediately runs away telling Steve, “You’re not my real brother anyway!” – Ooh. – Should Steve: A: Climb the nearest tree and try to get at least 30 feet up. B: Make as much noise as possible. C: Lie face down on the ground and hope for the best. Or D: Run after Karen, trip her, and offer her as a sacrifice to the Grizzly God instead. Well I was gonna say you should do a DNA analysis to see if they are brother and sister. – Well it’s a step, step, step sister. – Oh. You don’t have to know about DNA to know that. (Crew laughs) Do I need to explain how it works? The whole step thing? – Y’all think that’s funny, huh? – (Crew laughs) Um, hm. Climb the nearest trees sounds like something I would do instinctively. I mean, if you can climb a tree and get thirty feet up no grizzly bear is gonna come after you. I thought it was make yourself as big as possible but that’s not an option so, hmm, I’m going with A. Climb– I mean, if you can get 30 feet up, you’re away from a grizzly bear. – Okay. Final answer? – Final answer. Ehh! Wrong, Link! With a grizzly bear you’re supposed to play dead. And it’s – the only bear that you play dead with. – Really. If you run into a black bear, that’s when you make noise and get as big as – possible and threaten. – Ohh, black bear, big as possible, – grizzly bear, play dead. – Yeah. Boy that would be scary. Playing dead when a grizzly bear was sniffin’ at ya. Well he’d probably be killing you while you’re playing dead. But– – Sammy is at the– No. – Well then you advice sucks. I mean, but they will stop when they think they’ve killed you. Sammy is at a local watering hole enjoying a quick drink cause his wife, Bertha, yelled at him again for leaving his beard shavings in the skin. When a cougar walks up out of nowhere and sits down next to him. Does Sammy: A: Punch it has hard as he can, and if all else fails shove his hands in the cat’s mouth and yank down – until it chokes. B: Run away, – Ew. don’t stop running. C: Get as low to the ground as possible. Or D: Politely explain that 50 is a little out of his age range, and besides, he’s married. – (Link chuckles) – (Crew chuckles) – Okay, um, you can’t outrun a cougar. – It was a cougar joke. – Cougar’s an old woman – who likes younger men. – (Crew laugh) You can not outrun a cougar. Uh, get as low to the ground as possible, why? So they don’t have to jump to kill you? But punch it as hard he can and if all else fails shove your hand into the cat’s mouth. Why would you shove your hand into a – a cat’s mouth voluntarily and yank down? – Mhmm. Yank down on what, the goozle? And the back of the– I’m going with that one though cause I mean I can see you punching a cougar. Alright Link, you are correct. A is correct. It sounds crazy but it’s actually what you’re supposed to do. You place your finger between their lower canines and yank down like a fish hook. Weird. – Between their lower canines? – But before that you should get big and threaten because they will most likely move away. – Okay. – Another question. Whilst working on his novel in the wilderness of Maine, Billy hears a knocking at his cabin door. Expecting it to be Stephen King, he opens it only to reveal an angry moose. Should Billy: A: Flail his arms in a windmill fashion using his jacket to make himself look bigger. B: Run away and climb a tree. Meese are relatively lazy and won’t chase you very far. – They can’t climb trees. – C: Kick up a cloud of dirt around himself. Meese hate dust. Or D: Ask it to write a sequel to “Misery”. Billy has horrible eyesight and it could still be Stephen King. – (Laughs) Meese hate dust. – It was a good movie too. – That rings true to me. – Hm. – Flail your arms in a windmill fashion – Mhmm. …using a jacket. Running away from anything I think is a bad idea because you can’t – outrun anything. Well, not anything – Huh. – You can outrun something. – I can outrun a toddler. Right. I’ve been attacked by a toddler though and I wish I would’ve ran. Okay, I’m– Hmm. I’m between the dust– You know what, Imma claw– Let’s claw something away here. – Okay Link, we’re gonna get rid – Lifeline. of C, and D. You’re left with A, or B. – Oh good, so now the dust is gone. Alright, see, I don’t think you should run away so I’m gonna go with the jacket. The jacketify yourself and flail in a windmill fashion. – Ehh, you’re wrong Link. – Really? – Moose can run over 30 miles per hour. – I can not. But they’re choicely lazy and if you keep running they just kind of lose interest. – Really? – Yeah. They’re not really interested – in attacking you. – But then if you climb a tree and they lose interest underneath you, when are you gonna get home down? – Uh. I don’t know. – Well, you figure it out. Round four. Margaret is a PA on the set of “Crocodile Dundee 4: Man, Paul Hogan Got Old.” – (chuckles) That’s the official title? – Yeah, that’s the name of the movie. – (Laughs) – While walking to the porta potty in the desert she steps on a rattlesnake and it bites Margaret repeatedly. Should Margaret: A: Place a cold compress on the bite and apply pressure. B: Remove her clothes – and keep the bite area lower than her heart. C: Get Paul Hogan or anybody else to suck out the venom. Or D: Quickly find another rattlesnake to bite her to cancel – out the first bite because science. – Right, it’s like math. – Yeah. – More than science, really. – Two rattlesnakes make a nonsnake. – That when you cancel out I would– That would be like math to me. Um, why would she take off all her clothes? – I mean is this just you– – “Crocodile Dundee 4”, buddy. (chuckles) – Rated R. – Alright, because I have– I’m very interested in what’s gonna happen here, I want to ask an animal. – Okay. Let’s bring in an animal. – Oh okay! Here we go! – There it is. The Chaseter Bunny. – It’s the Chaseter Bunny, everybody! – Welcome, Chaseter Bunny. – Thanks guys. – You still laying those huge eggs? – You know, I’m taking a break from – that right now. – Oh, really? – Yeah, it was a little straining. – You got like a super hero pose going. – That’s cool. – (Laughs) – Alright, did you hear the question? – I did, yeah. The rattlesnake. Now I need to know this one cause there’s rattlesnakes around here. – A lot of them. – Do you get someone to suck out the venom? Do you get naked and then keep the bite area lower than your heart? What does gettin’ naked have to do with anything? Cold compress and apply pressure? I like the one– the gettin’ nekkid one. I think that’s a good answer. You like it because it just sounds enticing to you. And I feel that keeping the area lower than the heart sounds like that’s good. – I think maybe that the clothes thing– – But both parts have to be true. – That’s the thing that’s throwin’ me. – I mean, it’s not gonna hurt if you take – your clothes off either. – That’s true, it won’t hurt. – Right, it may not help. – It’s not like oh, you took your clothes – off now you’re definitely going to die. – That’s a good point, Chaseter Bunny. Well then, last time I didn’t go with you when we played a game and you were right – so I’m going with you this time. – (Chaseter Bunny chuckles) – You’re right Link! It is remove clothes! – (Joyous laughter) – Now, technically you remove the clothes – Why would you get naked? near the bite. Like if you got a shirt on, take the shirt off because you will begin to swell and it can cause restriction and cause limb damage and that kind of thing. So you just take the clothes off of the area. And keep the bite lower than your heart. Okay. Okay, Walter is running on the road because he’s really tryin’ hard to lose that stubborn muffin top before the company trip to the local water park. – Of course he is. – When a coyote walks out and stops him dead in his tracks. Should Walter: A: Yell and make as much noise as possible then grab a stick and jab aggressively at the coyote. B: Stand completely motionless. C: Run away in a zig-zag pattern, the coyote will lose interest and retreat. – Mm-mm – Or D: Pretend to jump off of a cliff and wait for the coyote to follow. Beep Beep! – Road Runner joke. – Mhmm, mhmm. – I acknowledge that. – Beep Beep. – Beep Beep. It’s higher. – Beep Beep. (Both) Beep Beep. – Beep Beep. Beep Beep. – Stay in motion sounds bold. Zig-zag pattern ain’t gonna work. They gotta good lateral motion. They can – play soccer really well. – Oh. Um, I’m going with A, stick and jab. You’re right Link! That’s what you do. You gotta get aggressive with the coyote and they most likely will retreat. It is coyote though. Should say, “ky-ote”. John is training for the Iron Man by swimming in the ocean with a bucket of chum attached to his ankle for added resistance. Of course. As expected, John winds up half inside of a shark’s mouth. – (Chuckles) – Should John, A: Punch it on it’s soft – underbelly. B: Kick it in the uvula – It depends on which half’s in the shark. C: Dig into the shark’s gills, or D: Engage in an impromptu tickle party It works every time. Like “Chunk”? Ehm, I thought you punch it on the nose, that’s not an option. Punch it on on its soft underbelly. Kick in in the uvula. That’s the hanging thing Ehm, dig into the gills. Alright, I’m going with “Shark Gill Digging” You are correct! Punch in in the nose it’s also right or punch it in the eyes it’s also correct But between these choices “Dig Into the GIlls” Dig and Punch at the same time! Ok, Link. 2 Questions left and one life-line left, you just need to get one to win the dog mace. Hit me! HIT ME! Having dealt with severe aracnophobia his whole life Bobby’ back-alley unlincensed therapist reccomends that he get over his fear by spending some time with the world’s most dangerous spider. Which spider should Bobby buy from the pet store? A: Brazilian Wandering Spider. B: An Asian Red-Legged Spider. C: A Brown Recluse Spider. or D: Tobey Maguire. Played Spider-man. In the movies. The – The older ones. He’s also in the movie with the horse The horse-movie. -From a while back. A Brown Recluse, you know, they do some tissue damage but I just don’t think it’s exotic enough. Asian Red-Legged Spider, sounds like something you made up. A Brazilian Wandering Spider, I think they create problems cause they are wandering everywhere. Oh ok. They wander in the situations. Give me the Howl-Hint. Oh, you want the howl hint? Its..its a crap-shoot at this point. -Hm-okay Lemme see tha thonggg! “Lemme see that thong”? Yeah. You really just said that? That’s a hint? Yeah. Ok, it must be the Brazilian Wondering Spider. I made it too easy? You made it too easy, man. A, Brazilian Wondering Spider. -You’re right, Link! And youuu win! -BOOOM! I got it!!! I clinched it at the end, and we’ve got another question -which we’ll save it for Good Mythical More. Ha-hah! -Okay okay, we’ll save that question. -But for right now I get this -Congratulations. I also got to spray you with mace in Good Mythical More I’m not a dog. Alright, thank you for learning with us. I feel like, I learned some stuff and I saved some lives. We saved some lives. -Possibly And thank you for watching, liking and commenting. And subscribing. And you know what time it is. Hi, my name is Giovanna from Brazil. And it’s time to spin the Wheel of Mythicality. You can pick up the Rhett & Link’s Bobble Heads over at rhettandlink.com/store Remember this package, fold out it becomes the GMM set and lots of you have been taking pictures of the bubble heads all around the world using #GMMBOBBLE Keep doing that! Click through to Good Mythical More, we’ve got a couple of other amazing animal attacks survivor stories. Overly Confident Conversation About: Magnets. I don’t know if you’ve actually heard this NPR article the other day… The one about magnets? Yeah, it was like an audio article about magnets. Yeah, it was about how the north and the south and they do like.. (magnets sticking sound) Together? Together, and then the north and the North are like… (magnets separating sound) I know all about it. And then there’s also, you have to keep in mind the south and the south That they’re like… (magnets separating sound) And then the north and the south, did you say that? It’s fascinating. Fascinating! -It’s so fascinating, I feel like I’ve learned a lot. -I know all about it now I kinda feel like I’m an expert now. -Yeah, it’s electrons. -Hold on, it’s the south and the south that they go…(magnets sticking sound) -No they go…(magnets separating effect) -Ohhhh All the California life guards are trained not to pee on their job so that they got a full tank whenever someone comes up for a stingray sting.